01x05 - Sensitive Heteroflexibles

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

- [Santi] So?

- No.

What do you mean, a g*y friend?

What we need is a more sensitive guy.

Someone with a different point of view.

If we had a g*y guy in our group,

we'd pick up some of their good traits.

- Or their bad ones.

- Evolve, would ya, huh?

Bromosexuality is really all the rage now.

Do what?

The friendship

between someone g*y and a hetero.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa. You did your homework.

- [chuckles]

And you're not g*y, are you?

Why would I be g*y?

We did wonder a few times, hmm?

Seriously? You talk behind my back?

- We do that to everyone. Relax.

- Hey, that's what chicks do. See?

We don't need g*y friends.

But why would you all think I'm g*y?

Fine then, I'll go.

You don't screw your wife anymore.

I do screw her!

But just because I don't spend

all day thinking about it doesn't

Yeah, but you often wear

kinda weird dress shirts.

Me? But what's he wearing?

These aren't weird. High-class.

And you never make crude comments.

You never talk about a*s or t*ts.

Because I think it's disrespectful.

Women aren't just pieces of meat.

And how do you think women talk?

You ever heard them talking about us?

When Esther gets with her sister,

they talk about how we're all idiots,

not that I'm g*y.

[Santi] Okay, okay, fine.

So still gotta go out and find one.

Ah, this again.

[door opens, closes]

[Luz] Good morning.

[Raúl] Good morning. Mmm!

- [smacks lips]

- I love the smell of that coffee.

How was it last night?

- Good. Very good. And you?

- Mm.

Mmm. It was so great.

But I I just got home now.

[chuckles] But look,

I haven't even changed yet.

Oh, yeah? Go on, go on.

- [gasps] You sure?

- Yeah, yeah.

- [Raúl] Hmm.

- [blows]

I went to this cool club

that my buddy recommended.

There were tons of gorgeous chicks,

and I ordered a a drink at the bar.

And all of a sudden,

I saw this super hot girl,

and she started,

like, giving me the eye. Totally.

So this girl, her name was Miriam.

Uh, she came up to me,

and we started making out.

Just like that, no intro.

[Luz] You're serious?

- How naughty. Did she turn you on?

- So much, yeah.

- Oh, wow.

- And she had these enormous t*ts, yeah.

- Mmm.

- And great a*s too. [chuckles]

- And dark complexion. Man, she was sexy.

- [gasps]

- Yes. Yes!

- [moans]

What did you do to her?

I sucked on her t*ts

'cause they were right there.

- Mmm!

- At the bar?

No, no, we went to the bathroom.

- Oh. [moans]

- Yeah, we were so turned on. [moans]

And what'd she do?

- Enjoy it. What else would we do? Mmm!

- [panting]

And then?

Tsk. Hey, go on. Don't stop now.

- Uh, uh, uh I put it in. [chuckles]

- [panting]

- Why wait longer?

- Oh, yeah? So quick though.

Uh, no. [chuckles]

- Before that I went down on her a little.

- Wow.

[grunts] She had a little strip

of pubic hair down there.

- [Luz] Mmm!

- All soft.

- [both moan]

- [Raúl] And light blonde. Mmm!

Light blonde hair?

I thought she was darker.

Uh, well, I thought she was dark-skinned

because of the lighting,

but she was just tan from skiing.

- Raúl, you're not making this up, are you?

- No, no, no, no.

What was her name again?

- María.

- Miriam.

M Miriam María.

She was Dominican, and they all have

two first names, you know.

No, it doesn't work like that.

Stop making up sleazy stories.

They don't turn me on at all.

- But I didn't screw anyone.

- This isn't what we both agreed to.

Hey, wait a minute. You're pissed

because I didn't sleep with anyone?

Because you lied.

Which is exactly

what we're trying to avoid. Damn it!

I'm not in the mood now, just so you know.

I don't get it.

[Daniela] Don't let the mirror

decide your age. You decide.

And for a super affordable price

with the Sensi Soft Skin Care range

of products.

It has everything I need

to keep my skin hydrated,

firm, and supple.

EMPLOYMENT OFFICE

[door chimes]

Good morning.

I'm here to file unemployment.

Which benefits do you want?

Unemployment benefits? Contributory?

Uh, I don't know.

Just what you get when you

[clerk] Have you contributed

160 days or more in the last six years?

Yes, yes, of course, yes.

- So then, contributory.

- Oh.

Got your documentation?

Your ID, family records,

printed application form,

and business certificate.

Yeah, I think it's all here.

Unemployment card?

What?

[clerk] Your registration as a jobseeker.

But you won't I get that from you?

No, no, no. You have to apply

through your regional government.

- Why don't they tell us?

- Why didn't you inform us?

You could make this easier for people.

No one comes here because they want to.

Look, without an unemployment card,

I can't register your benefits now.

[Pedro sighs]

Listen, I got fired

after 12 productive years

as a senior executive

in a leading business

in the audiovisual sector.

It's been rough, okay?

It's been really rough.

- You wanna hear my life story?

- No, of course not. What do you know?

You civil servants

don't have that problem.

You just sit here on your fat lazy asses

and suck the government's t*ts dry.

- Excuse me.

- [cell phone ringing]

What did you just say?

He just called me a fat-a*s!

- Yes, honey?

- [Daniela] Where are you?

Running some errands. And you?

Leaving the salon. Don't forget you've got

your hydrocele appointment at one, okay?

I was thinking about whether it's

really even worth getting operated on.

Come on,

you really have to get this fixed.

It doesn't really bother me though.

Rubén said it only takes a few seconds

and it doesn't hurt at all.

- Go on. There, there, there. That's it.

- [exhales]

[gasps]

That son of a b*tch.

Yeah, right, "it doesn't hurt at all."

Okay, let's get you

to the sofa, honey, okay?

Sir, what happened to you?

- They operated on his scrotum.

- Oh, Mary Mother of God!

Daniela, please, no need

to share the details with her. [inhales]

- Good, right there.

- [groans] I'm fine. I really am.

[groans]

Patri, you take care of him.

I've gotta go.

Where are you going?

To a store opening with Cynthia.

We just have to post a few stories

to get all these free clothes.

Okay, then. Have fun, enjoy.

- I'll tell you later.

- [Pedro chuckles, groans]

[indistinct chatter on TV]

- [Santi sighs]

- [cell phone beeps]

Wow, I LOLed at that stupid chick

seeing her boyfriend with the other girl.

Go check out her TikTok.

Sweetie, there are some excellent

documentaries on channel two.

Why do you watch this garbage?

What's channel two?

Whatever.

- Dad, just one thing.

- No, let me get some rest, please.

Really, I need a break from Tinder.

I'm so worn out. I swear.

Just wanted to borrow money.

But okay, relax.

I'll go reschedule your date with Tamara.

Tamara?

[Álex] Yes, or with Julia

or Noelia or Mari Jose.

Today you got three matches.

Thursdays [kisses]

- Awesome.

- [sighs] I don't know, honey.

It's just it's all just so impersonal,

don't you think?

And too easy, you know?

Well, you're the first guy I know

for whom easiness was a problem.

It's like buying pre-shelled pistachios.

It's like, there's no point, you know?

Warning. Objectifying remark.

- Hmm?

- [scoffs] What happened to conquest, huh?

And to to seduction, what about that?

- [scoffs]

- [chuckles]

When have you ever seduced anyone?

Santiago, go and live a little.

This is your time right now.

When do you plan

on going back to your mother's?

I don't know if it's a midlife crisis,

the Covid vaccine,

the 5G, or global warming,

but I'm not doing great, girl.

I feel bad. Very bad.

I regret it. I do.

- But I'd f*ck him now if I could. [laughs]

- [laughs] Well, then you don't regret it.

Yes, one side of my brain, yeah.

The other is like, "Call Guillermo.

Guillermo this, Guillermo that."

Oh, it's amazing how a good f*ck

really changes

the way you feel about a guy, right?

I can't live like this, girl.

- Because his d*ck's in my head now.

- [laughs]

My marriage is dead. This is the proof.

I have to end it with Luis.

What? Because of one f*ck?

But I don't do this kind of thing.

My most daring thing

is battling cellulitis.

Don't be so dramatic.

And most importantly, don't be stupid.

You have a family.

Don't decide now.

The dopamine's coursing through you.

I need a real drink, not this melted ice.

And look, these accidents

revitalize sex with your partner.

Still not f*cking?

Married for 12 years, two children,

two mother-in-laws, and one mortgage?

Come on, it would be a miracle.

It takes guts to cheat on someone.

If you can handle it, then perfect.

You've already got a lover.

And, hey, it can be good

to switch up your routine.

But if the guilt is gonna eat you up

and make you miserable,

well, then forget it.

It is eating me up.

But you've stopped going to the gym,

didn't you?

And I just renewed my gym card.

Shame to waste it.

You got your money's worth, huh?

[both laugh]

- Not going out?

- Me?

Two days in a row?

[clicks tongue] No way, man.

No, I feel like staying here and chilling.

- Well, I'll stay in with you.

- Hey, no. Hey, no, you go out, my love.

Think I'd leave you alone?

- But don't you have a date?

- Yeah, but I'll call and cancel now.

- No way, no way. You go out and have fun.

- Mmm.

Go on.

Okay, okay. Mm.

Then tell me about it.

Obsessed with me telling her, my God.

[door opens]

Don't want any complaints, okay?

How many teenagers

make dinner for their father?

- [doorbell buzzes]

- [groans] Hey, honey.

- We can't keep eating like this.

- You can't, no. But I don't get fat.

[Santi groans]

- What's up, dude?

- Hey.

Hey, you look bored. Let's go to the bar.

Oh, now? No. I'm eating with my daughter,

who has very lovingly cooked us

a frozen pizza tonight. [chuckles]

Okay. Well, let's have a bite first

and then go out.

You're serious? I canceled Tamara,

and you go out with him?

Who's Tamara?

Oh, no, no.

I don't wanna go out, man, really.

Okay, then. Movie time. What's on now?

No. No f*cking way.

Go on, get out. See you later. Let's go.

- I won't be back late, okay? C'mon.

- [Álex] Mm-hmm.

Don't negotiate. It's your house, man.

- [indistinct chatter on TV]

- Oh, well.

[woman] But come on,

look at this one. It's awesome.

- My psychologist says the same thing.

- [laughing]

- Salud! Toodles. Mwah!

- [laughing]

[rings]

Hey, what's up, dude?

Hey, what's up? Wanna get a drink?

Santi begged me to go out.

- What are you saying?

- I'll pass. I'm settled in for the night.

- [Raúl] Don't say we didn't invite you.

- Are we on the courts in the morning?

This guy says eight

'cause he has to put in some laundry.

Luis prefers seven, or Esther will yell

at him for not making dinner for the kids.

- So you pick.

- Hey, do your laundry on Sunday, dude.

It's much cheaper.

All right, seven then. Suck it.

- Are you able to play?

- Yeah, I'm fine.

- I'm referring to your ba*ls.

- Go on, have fun, b*tches.

- [Santi] Patriarchal comment!

- f*ck off.

- [Daniela sighs] Hello.

- [sighs]

[Daniela] How are you, my love?

Tell Rubén, "not very painful, my a*s."

It's as if I had a pit bull chomping

on me down there.

- [Daniela] Ow! Oh. Mm.

- Mm.

- You been drinking?

- Champagne.

So I'd fit in.

Take these off me, please. [sighs]

So, the job wasn't so boring, huh?

- Well, look. I just met this coach.

- [chuckles]

Super interesting. What was her name?

[inhales] Mónica.

Why don't you call her, huh?

You've got the time.

It'll be good for you.

- I'm doing fine. I'm reinventing myself.

- Hmm.

- Do I look bad?

- I'm gonna make something to eat.

I'm hungry.

I haven't eaten anything 'cause I didn't

want something stuck between my teeth.

Would you like me to make you dinner?

[Daniela] Well, Patri,

I wanna eat something.

I don't know what though.

How about

Ugh.

Mortadella with olives, Patri?

It was two for one.

But have we ever eaten this here?

Your husband told me

to take advantage of the deals.

Mm, yes, okay, but things that are

doesn't matter. I'll go order something.

[Patri] Miss.

If money's an issue,

I don't wanna be a burden.

No. No. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Money isn't an issue, okay?

No, you're not going anywhere, my dear.

- Be the last thing I needed.

- [chuckles]

Don't you worry. Just relax.

If I had to,

I'd prost*tute myself just to pay you.

[chuckles] Oh,

that's so incredibly nice of you. Oh!

Hmm.

She took the mortadella.

Hey, were you waiting for someone?

- Well, we're right here. [chuckles]

- So you're not back with Luz?

And what does flirting

have to do with love?

f*ck. Check her out.

[Santi] Huh?

- Who?

- [Raúl] The one in red.

Hmm. She's cute.

She's smoking. Go talk to her.

[chuckles] That's ridiculous. No.

- [Raúl] Didn't you notice?

- Huh?

She brushed you in passing.

She was just crossing over to the bar.

Hey, if you like her,

go and talk to her. Go say hi.

No way. Don't wanna bother her.

Bothering her? It's why they're here.

I came to have a drink with you.

And besides, today's my day off

from all those dumb Tinder dates, man, so

- Look, forget it, I'll go.

- I said no, no, no. Hey, no, Raúl!

[under breath] God damn.

- [muffled dance music playing]

- [crowd chattering, laughing]

Ulises, put your pajamas on.

- I'm not telling you again.

- [groans] Take his console.

Only thing that works now.

Do you love me more

'cause I don't do bad things?

[Luis] No, we love you both the same.

- But that's not fair.

- Love is very strange, darling.

- Come on. Here.

- [Luis] Hang on, give me your slippers.

They're bathed and in bed

by 21:32. [sighs]

It's later every day.

Let's see

what that idiot posted today. [sighs]

- Why are you so obsessed with Daniela?

- I'm not. I meant it affectionately.

[Daniela] Today I'm going to talk to you

about the new Fresh Excess chewing gum.

- With fluoride and sugar-free

- [scoffs]

- Do you think I look g*y?

- What? No.

Hmm.

- Why?

- No, the guys were talking about it.

And I found it funny.

- They think I look g*y. What about you?

- Trying to tell me something?

What? No, no, it's that damn Raúl.

He just loves messing with everyone.

At first, I'd be shocked,

but not that surprised.

What do you mean not surprised?

On one hand, my whole entire marriage

would have been a lie,

but on the other,

it would explain what's wrong with us now.

- And what's wrong with us now?

- What?

- Are you trying to tell me something?

- No.

No, no. It's you.

You're asking me

all these weird questions.

So you'd be relieved if I were g*y?

[clicks tongue] Listen,

let's just go to sleep

'cause this is getting out of hand.

[light clicks]

- Esther, I'm not h*m*.

- Okay, okay.

And I'm ready

to prove it to you right now.

- [classical music playing]

- [moans]

Uh, Luis, just I don't feel like it

right now, to be honest.

[music stops]

Okay, don't want you to have any doubts.

Mine or yours?

Hey, if we're gonna continue this way,

let me know, and I'll stop

injecting testosterone. [sighs]

- What do you mean, testosterone?

- [sighs]

You need to inject stuff

in order to f*ck me now?

- No.

- And why didn't you tell me this?

To surprise you, but you won't let me.

Are you paying for it

through insurance or privately?

Because it must cost a lot.

Seriously?

That's what you're worried about?

[cell phone chimes]

I'D f*ck YOU RIGHT NOW!

[sighs] What?

- [dance music playing]

- [crowd chattering, laughing]

- [Raúl] Dude, what are you doing?

- Huh?

- Hey!

- Santi, meet Eugenia.

- Hi, hello.

- Nice to meet you. Pleasure.

It's just, uh, I

I was going to the restroom,

but then this great tune came on,

so I stopped and

- Hey.!

- [Raúl] Sure.

He loves dancing, this guy.

- Wow. The jam, right?

- [Eugenia laughs]

OKAY, HON. ENJOY YOUR NIGH

- I know. Didn't know where to hide.

- [laughing]

That was the second time,

the third, and then they

- Wanna head out?

- Yes, I'm gonna see her back to her place.

- I'll drive you.

- No, we'll get a taxi.

- No, no way. I'll drop you off.

- No, you no

[grunts]

This is me here.

- Mm-hmm.

- Now you know where I live.

Well, very nice. Great place, huh?

- It's insured against fires, just in case.

- [both laughing]

- Thank you so much for getting me home.

- Come on.

You're such a gentleman.

There aren't many of those.

We're going extinct like the brontosaurus.

[laughs] Uh

[inhales]

[harp music plays]

- Hey, I'm here.

- [music cuts out]

I left my keys with that snobby valet

from the club next door.

Uh, okay, have a good night.

- Uh, you get some rest, Eugenia.

- Yeah, yeah.

- Seriously?

- [man] You let her get away, man.

[Santi] No, she didn't get away.

I like to take things slowly.

- Cigarette?

- No, thank you.

Hey, let's go back.

- No, no, I've got work tomorrow, dude.

- What a f*cking as*h*le. What?

Dude, I'm not going home

knowing you scored and not me.

God damn, you're a little obsessed

with this, Raúl.

Would you like it if Luz did this to you?

Go home, man.

Go home to your girlfriend.

You don't know how good you have it.

- Turn or go straight now?

- Yes, yes, right here. Turn right here.

[Gabriel] This way?

[Esther] Yes, turn right.

- [horns honking]

- [tires screeching]

AND THAT a*s ON ALL FOURS

Wait, what's he doing?

Don't know if this is the right way.

- [Esther] Just don't cross the white line.

- [horns honking]

- [Gabriel] Lot of honking.

- Oh, they honk at you all the time.

- [Gabriel] These cars are coming at me!

- Oh, God! Ah!

- Turn around!

- Turn where? Turn where?

- [screaming]

- [horn honks]

- [tires screech]

- [both panting]

[sighs] Are you all right? What happened?

[exhales] I don't know.

Just I just looked away

for a second, and this dumbass

Esther, a driver's ed car

going against traffic

I can't say we've ever seen that before.

You're the joke of the whole precinct.

This isn't normal.

They've renamed it

the Kamikaze Driving School.

Well, it's not funny, okay?

What's gotten into you?

You seem off recently.

I'm just tired.

[sobs] I need a vacation.

[Luis clicks tongue, sighs]

- You head home, okay?

- [sniffles] Okay.

We'll talk later.

Come on.

[sighs]

Can you waive the fine for me, Luis?

[groans]

[camera shutter clicking]

What are you wearing?

Hmm? A tiara designed for meditation.

If you can clear your mind,

you hear little birds,

and you earn points.

[both laugh]

[Daniela] Let's see.

You're getting the hang of this,

you little artist.

- Thank you.

- [Daniela laughs]

Is there anything you're not advertising,

my love?

[Daniela] Wanna try it?

It'd do you good to meditate.

You've got time now.

You know, it really depresses me

that in order to find peace,

I have to dull my own brain first.

[shudders]

You got a postcard from your parents.

A postcard?

- From his parents.

- Thank you, Patricia.

- Let me see.

- It's nothing.

They're very bored in Estepona.

- Hey, but let me see it.

- No, it's nothing, really.

- It's just something stupid.

- Oh, Pedro.

[sighs]

DEAR SON, THANK YOU.

YOU'VE MADE YOUR DAD THE HAPPIEST RETIREE

- You bought a boat?

- A little boat.

Uh, it looks bigger on the postcard

because of the angle.

And how much did that cost you?

Eighty-five thousand.

[Daniela sighs]

And 7,500 for the mooring.

[exhales] But why don't you just tell them

you're unemployed, my love?

Because it would k*ll them.

They'd see my downfall.

Uh, Pedro,

we all go through difficult periods

at some point in our lives.

Not me, no.

For that, they have my brother.

Uh, okay, but, honey,

one thing is not telling them.

Another thing is spending your money

on a boat.

What's more ridiculous than a boat?

- My dad loves fishing.

- Well, then he can fish sitting on a rock.

My God!

And I have to find out like this?

I'm just saying, would've been better,

maybe, I don't know,

if you checked in with me first.

It's my family. It's my money.

I just don't see why I have to tell you.

Well, honey, in case

you start losing your mind a little.

I don't know,

you know, communication. [scoffs]

Now I know why

you're being stingy with the groceries.

Uh, no, that's just Patricia.

I don't know what's gotten into her

with those deals.

I was trying to save.

- Because the gentleman lost his job.

- [Daniela] Oh!

[Pedro groaning]

So you told her?

I had to tell her

because she was gonna leave, gonna quit.

Sure, and since the only hobby you seem

to have is

psychologically abusing the maid, well

So, I'm the one who needs

to communicate more, and you overdo it.

Okay, fine, Pedro.

At least it's clear the most important

thing is not paying off the mortgage

but keeping up this illusion.

[huffs]

[groans, sighs]

I just think it's weird walking

around looking for a g*y guy.

They'll think

we're out here trying to score.

Cut it out with the stereotype

of the promiscuous h*m*.

Come on, Luis.

You know, some of them

are just looking for new friends, huh?

I'm a police officer.

I can't be seen doing this.

What, like there aren't

any g*y police officers?

Isn't that Luz?

[Santi] Yeah, she's going with some guy.

- Isn't she back with Raúl?

- Yeah, yeah.

Well, it must be a meeting.

Or not.

How long have they been in there?

- We gotta tell Raúl.

- Best to not get involved in these things.

Well, I would've liked someone

to tell me that.

That Blanca was cheating

on me with our kid's dentist.

We thought about it,

but we voted and chose no.

You knew that?

What kind of friends are you? My God.

Friends who didn't wanna hurt you.

Well, I'm definitely gonna go tell Raúl.

- He's probably someone from work.

- Yeah. So he takes her to a hotel?

To get a coffee.

No, you'd go to a café. It's much cheaper.

And plus, I didn't see her very well.

Maybe it wasn't Luz.

She was standing in the shade.

I wasn't sure.

[inhales] And what

if Esther was cheating on you?

Esther cheating? [chuckles]

No, can't imagine it, no.

Wouldn't you like to know?

Don't think so.

Luis, you can't go through life like this.

Stop injecting testosterone.

It doesn't do anything.

- More coffee?

- Yes.

[Luis] Excuse me, can I get two coffees,

same as before?

Can you remind me your last order, please?

One decaf with brown sugar

and very cold oat milk,

and a double flat white with saccharine

and warm lactose-free milk, please.

So, plain coffee, huh?

Yes, one for me and for my friend there.

You together?

Huh? No, no. Friends, we're just friends.

- Nothing wrong if you were.

- No, there's nothing wrong with being g*y.

But I'm just not.

Aww, sorry. My radar was way off.

Are you?

- Very much so.

- Oh, well, you don't look like it.

Uh, I mean, I'm sorry

if I say something inappropriate.

- But it's the first time I've been

- Hit on by a guy.

And I realized it was happening, sure.

Well, then, you've befriended a g*y guy.

- Diego.

- Uh, Luis. Nice to meet you.

Uh

It's funny though, because you're exactly

what my friend Santi's looking for.

Eh, not my type, no.

No, no, as a friend though.

Someone to hang out with,

to join our group of buddies.

Look, not sure what you're up to,

but I'm down.

I like guys who are heteroflexible.

Of course, of course.

Why don't we exchange numbers?

Gonna bring this to my friend now.

- Okay, I'll wait here.

- Hmm.

- Santi, we found our g*y guy.

- Huh?

Diego.

He's discreet and elegant.

Hit on me at the bar. But it was classy.

- That guy there?

- That guy, yeah.

He called me heteroflexible,

but I don't know what that means.

Oh, sh*t.

- I can ask Álex, okay?

- Mm-hmm.

There they are. They're leaving.

They're leaving, no f*cking way. Hmm!

Is that Luz, or is that Luz?

- Yeah, it's Luz. Clearly, it's Luz.

- Yeah.

Two hours drinking coffee.

That's quite a while.

It's because it's hot.

They gotta cool it down first.

[inhales, groans] Fine, you're right.

Yeah, they're doing it.

[gasps] I can't believe it, really.

f*ck.

Holy sh*t. What is he doing here?

Well, he already found out.

One less problem.

Look, Guillermo, I can't keep doing this.

I have one life,

and I almost lost it today.

Maybe for you,

it's normal to seduce clients.

- This is all too much for me.

- Come on, try running.

[machine beeps]

I don't wanna complicate your life,

nor complicate my own. You understand?

But what's wrong? What, are you in love?

Me? No way. That's not at all what I said.

- And you?

- A little bit, yes.

[classical music playing]

Oh, oh, yes, yes, yes!

Oh! Oh! Oh!

It should be you.

No, no, no, it should be you.

She likes you more.

[scoffs] What? Who told you that?

- No one. But you know, it's clear.

- [door opens]

Why are you here?

- Uh, no, uh, we were just passing by.

- Hmm.

- And how are you doing?

- [exhales]

- Me? Fine.

- [Luis] Hmm.

- [Santi] Hmm-hmm.

- [Luis] Hmm.

I've got a court hearing now.

I'm in a hurry.

And how are you and Raúl?

Better than ever. Why?

[chuckles] Uh, Luz, we just saw you

making out with with some guy.

Right outside a hotel.

There in broad daylight.

Oh. Yes. [chuckles]

Yes. Yeah, and?

What's does she mean?

Well, and Raúl was following you.

He saw you too.

What? That guy's such a dumbass!

You're cheating on him.

It's no surprise he's following you.

Not cheating on him, no.

We're actually open now.

What do you mean you're open now?

I'm gonna k*ll him!

Open relationship? People really do that?

Who in their right mind sends a postcard

in the 21st century?

Your parents.

Uh, dude, Daniela's kind of right.

You really screwed up, you know.

I don't wanna disappoint my parents.

That so hard to understand?

You should be sorry about disappointing

Daniela. She's the one you're living with.

[Raúl] Are the two of you

the biggest morons in the world?

- Why'd you tell Luz I was following her?

- We confronted her. She got pissed.

See, you should've also told these guys.

- [Santi] So you knew?

- I did.

Why'd you tell him and not us?

Because he's his best friend,

I told you so, right?

You're closer to him than us?

- No, no, I love you guys all the same.

- [chuckles] That's

That's a lie. I can't believe this sh*t.

I honestly can't believe, my God!

- Is this really happening right now?

- Yeah, the two of you deserve each other.

- Santi, wait up.

- [Santi] No.

- [Luis] Wait!

- [Santi] I said no!

Well, then,

let's warm up, just the two of us.

- You gonna play like that?

- Yeah, man, I just need to warm up.

Nah, he's gone.

Look, we're not playing.

With all this physical and mental pain,

we're f*cked now.

I can do it. Get over there!

Hope he gets over soon,

'cause we're meeting up with Diego.

- Who's Diego?

- Our new g*y friend.

[exhales]

Daniela?

- Hey. How are you? Was it hard to play?

- No, I played fine.

- Hmm.

- So, hey. [sighs]

I wanna apologize about my parents.

You were right.

No, no, no, no. Honey, it's no problem.

I know you adore them,

and giving them a boat was beautiful.

Suicidal but beautiful.

It's just they look so old.

- I'm worried that

- Um

I also have a little gift for you, dear.

- What is this?

- Open it.

[Pedro chuckles]

[Daniela] Use it for whatever.

I've been living off you

for such a long time,

and now that I'm earning money

and you're not,

well, it's a way of making up for it.

- [Pedro] Yeah, but

- [chuckles]

[chuckles] No.

I don't feel comfortable.

- Why not?

- I don't know.

Well, because I don't.

But it's just like you always said, right?

Because you were earning more, so

Yeah, but it's not [chuckles]

It's just weird.

Why weird? I don't get it though.

Well, I don't know. I'll keep it,

but, well, I'm not gonna use it.

- I already have mine.

- [scoffs] Do what you want.

But when you go shopping,

stop buying crappy food, please.

[inhales]

- Luis.

- What? f*ck, you scared me.

Uh [exhales]

- Doesn't Ulises have judo?

- Uh, he's getting a ride with Adrián.

Hey, uh, I really need to talk to you.

- Come here.

- Uh, no, I'll go first.

I wanna tell you something very important.

- Mine is also important, darling.

- Please listen to me for a moment, okay?

Look, I know we're going

through a rough patch right now.

- [sighs]

- When we're like this, we lose connection.

So I'm sorry that I didn't

tell you about the testosterone.

Well, yeah, I saw how expensive it is.

- I saw the charges on the credit card.

- Uh-huh.

You could have

k*lled yourself driving today.

But you made a great point.

We're both so worn out.

[sniffles] It makes me so sad though.

Well, don't be,

because I've sorted everything out.

[sighs]

- [cell phone chimes]

- [Luis] Open that message.

- [Esther] What is this?

- They're our tickets.

We're going to Paris,

you and me, for a romantic weekend.

[chuckling] Look at you.

You're like a zombie.

[exhales]

- [dance music playing]

- [mouths]

[crowd laughing, chattering]

[Santi and Diego laughing]

Well, uh, what a cool atmosphere, huh?

Lovely little atmosphere, eh, grandad?

The music's kinda weird, huh?

- Can you tell me why we're here, please?

- And me.

So you're not all heteroflexible guys

having identity crises?

Heteroflex damn it!

Damn, I forgot to ask my daughter.

Diego, it's because this smart-a*s, uh,

wants you in the group

to help us develop our sensitivity.

Hey, so what's "heteroflexible"?

Sorry for ruining your labeling system,

but just because you're g*y doesn't mean

you're sensitive at all.

Oh, no?

I know some g*y guys who are

bigger assholes than any hetero.

[Pedro] Why are we here?

So, you you don't consider yourself, uh,

that way?

Uh, I mean, you don't

consider yourself a sensitive guy?

What do you mean by sensitive?

Don't know. Don't look at me.

Did you cry

during Bridges of Madison County?

Me?

Do you think Meryl Streep would really

date that fat guy dressed as a cowboy,

when she could have

Clint Eastwood, really?

That made absolutely no sense, huh?

You're so right. He's good, this guy.

The four of you are textbook straight men.

Yes, yeah, absolutely.

You know what you guys need?

A quick intro

to the deconstruction of masculinity.

The hell's that?

A course, huh?

No way, man, no.

You can cut it out with that.

You deconstruct a sandwich.

No one's deconstructing my masculinity.

- Hey, don't be so closed off, Raúl.

- I am closed off. Fully closed, dude.

I can't be spending my money

on this bullshit right now.

So, you're really gonna put a price

on emotional maturity?

Whoa, dude, I'm gonna punch you.

Jesus, I liked you more when you were sad.

I don't know.

I'll try it, can't do any harm.

See that? Huh?

[chuckles] You're all idiots,

each one of you.

You thought you were making a g*y friend,

and now he's pulled a fast one on you.

Don't get all paranoid. He's a nice guy.

You guys keep playing with fire,

you'll be flaming soon enough. Huh?

I'm going home to f*ck my girlfriend,

with my masculinity intact.

- Well, I doubt that she's home now.

- [Raúl] Go f*ck yourselves!

Diego is right though.

We gotta take that course.

Whatever.

[theme music playing]