02x04 - This is Doloraam

[bunniefuu]

[crowd chanting] Oro Baku Janeera!

Oro Baku Janeera!

Oro Baku Janeera!

-[ominous music plays]
-[crowd] Oro Baku Janeera!

Oro Baku Janeera!

[chanting ends]

[ominous music continues]

[music fades out]

-[clang]
-[Terry grunts]

[resounding thrum]

[thrumming fading out]

Hey, Odoman. Long time no see, man.

[crowd murmuring indistinctly]

What's up?

-[guard 1] Silence!
-[grunts]

The outsider will not address the emperor.

Uh, oh, okay.

Uh, can I ask you to ask the emperor
to tell me what's going on?

Insolent!

-[crowd jeer]
-[clang]

-[jeering stops]
-[resounding thrum]

What is going on?

You deny why you are here even now.

Emperor, I don't... [grunts]

[guard 2] The outsider will kneel
in the presence of His Majesty.

[guard 1] The outsider will not
address His Majesty directly.

Hey, man, he's talking to me.
What do you want me to do?

Excuse the outsider's outburst,
Your Eminence.

It's obvious that this boisterous,
outrageous,

and downright ostentatious individual

is ignorant of our ways.

[quietly] You're lucky
I made it here in time.

Let me do the talking.

-Who are you?
-Ja Boluu. Public defender.

I do family court, small cases,
injury suits, 35% discount for referrals.

No cases involving small furry mammals.
Been burned by that before. [chuckles]

-Huh?!
-Shh! Don't worry.

You're in good hands.
Just keep calm and follow my lead.

[Odoman] Sabo Brok.

You are here to stand trial
for the crimes against our nation.

You have been charged
with assaulting the Royal Guard,

theft of a Doloraami spacecraft,

and finally,

the abduction of the princess of Doloraam,

Sa Janeera!

[cheers]

[crowd chanting] Oro Baku Janeera!

Oro Baku Janeera!

[chanting ends]

[both] You're a space princess?

"Space princess."
That's a weird way of... It's not like that.

So, your parents aren't rulers
on an alien planet in space?

I...

[sighs] Yeah, they are.

Unbelievable.

So, wait. I'm half alien and I'm royalty?

That's crazy! Does that mean I'm a prince?
Do I have subjects?

[gasps] Am I heir to the throne?
I'm not ready to rule.

[KRS] Oh, I think you'd make
an adorable sovereign, Sean.

-[Sean groans]
-[thud]

So, we have grandparents?
Not just Grandma?

Yeah, they're the king
and queen on Doloraam,

which is where I'm from,

my home planet.

-[Lisa] Ourhome planet.
-What?

Our planet.
Sean and I are part Doloraami too, right?

[sighs] Right.

Right. Yeah, our planet.

So, "no more lies," what happened to that?

Why did you keep this from us?
Were you ever gonna tell us?

Lisa, it's just complicated.

"Lisa, Sean, not only am I an alien,

but I'm from a planet called Doloraam,
where I'm a princess.

Turns out, you don't have to
live the rest of your lives

on crappy old Earth anymore."

Huh. Wow. That doesn't sound
that complicated to me.

Cool it, young lady.
You are talking out the side of your neck.

I don't care for it.

If your father
and I kept anything from you,

trust there was a good reason for it.

Got it?

Got it.

[downcast ambient music playing]

-[sighs]
-[Blobby slurping]

Kids. Am I right?

Don't worry, Tess. I get it.

[KRS] Uh. Somebody want to get this boy
some water?

[tense music playing]

Is it true, Sabo Brok,

that you were hired to find
and return the royal princess to Doloraam?

Tha-That's correct.

And after weeks of tracking her,

you returned to report
that she had eluded you?

Yep. She-She got away.

You disappeared
shortly after that as well.

Isn't that right?

-See, now that does sound suspicious.
-What?

You left the bounty circuit.
No one heard anything from you for years.

And then, recently, you resurfaced.

You started taking jobs
for the Conglomerate,

only to disappear
as soon as they were finished.

Highly suspicious.

-Objection!
-[crowd jeering]

On what ground?

On the grounds that this proves nothing!

We all know that scum, like this outlaw,

live inconsistent and unfulfilling lives!

I...

Is that it?

Uh, yeah.
Tha-that's all I wanted to say. [chuckles]

[grumbles] Get off of me.
Emperor, I told you what happened.

I tried to capture your daughter,

dropped my guard for a moment,
and she gave me the slip.

Trail went cold after that.
It's that simple.

Yes, and for a long time I believed you.

Until a member of my court
brought me this!

-[crowd gasp]
-[dramatic music plays]

[crowd gasp]

-Great Boola Moola!
-[crowd clamoring]

That doesn't prove anything.
I told you, she got away.

Ah, but you see,

this was recorded several days
afterwe spoke.

[all gasp, muttering] Guilty.

Where is my daughter, Sabo Brok?!

Did someone pay you off?
Tell me! Where is my daughter?!

Your Majesty, it's obvious
that this outsider doesn't comprehend

the gravity of his situation.

Look at him!

-With that ridiculous haircut.
-Uh...

Now, I know when you see this man,
he might look villainous, duplicitous,

some might say downright insidious!

[crowd booing]

But does that mean
he deserves a death sentence?

-[whining]
-Wait. What?

We never mentioned the death sentence.

Should we?

Oh, I mean,
it seemed pretty obvious to me,

but if you don't want to...

You are making this worse.

Hold on.

Emperor Odoman, there's obviously no way

my client can defend himself
from this evidence.

Save for one!

I say we put his character
to the ultimate test.

We invoke the right to earn his innocence

through the Tribulations of Fire!

-[dramatic music plays]
-[crowd gasping]

This is preposterous! He is not Doloraami!

[suspenseful music playing]

[music fades out]

I will allow it.

[gasps]

Wow. I did not think
they would go for that.

-What did you just do?
-I just saved your life. You're welcome.

Prepare him for the trials!

You are the worst!

-Remember, 35% off for referrals!
-[crowd clamoring]

Thirty-five percent! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

You will tell us of Janeera's fate,

but until then,

I will ensure that you suffer
all the ruin and pain

and indignity Doloraam can muster.

[doors clatter, thud]

[beat plays slowly]

[dry ice machine hissing]

-Huh.
-Ha.

-Hmm.
-[funky music plays]

♪ If you want it, I can teach ya ♪

-[hisses]
-[meows]

-♪ Steppin' out, feelin' fly ♪
-♪ So fly ♪

-♪ Real fly ♪
-♪ Want to touch the sky ♪

♪ You know those eyes, extra spice
Got that extra flavor ♪

-♪ Ooh, yeah ♪
-♪ Ooh-wee ♪

-♪ Get lost in my sheen ♪
-♪ My sheen ♪

♪ Doesn't matter what time it is ♪

-♪ I stay so fly ♪
-[music ends]

-[ting]
-[clapping]

Greetings, B'Caala.

Greetings indeed. It is a pleasure
for you to see me, Emperor.

Why are you here, B'Caala?

A little birdie told me
you found my betrothed.

I'm sure you planned on letting me know,

and it just, hmm, slipped your mind, hmm?

She hasn't been found yet,
but we have a good lead.

Hmm. So, she is alive?

We believe so and are working
to discover her whereabouts.

So as soon as we do, rest assured,
you will be the first to know.

[B'Caala] Odoman...

I don't need to remind you
how important our union is

for the future of our planet.

When our two families combine,

it will secure generations of peace
and tranquility for our world.

"Emperor Odoman."

And yes, B'Caala,

I am quite aware of what is at stake.

Excellent. [chuckles menacingly]

Then I look forward
to hearing some good news.

After all, you know
how much I worry about Janeera.

-[sinister ambient music plays]
-Yes.

Of course.

-[playing the blues on harmonica]
-[creature chittering]

All right, I'm going.

-[grunts] Easy!
-[alien grunts]

-You all right?
-My fungus!

[panting]

Oh. Uh. Sorry about that.

[prisoners chuckling]

Ah, don't worry about old Mox.

We all end up stepping
on his fungus eventually.

-[hisses]
-Come on, friend.

Grab a rock, and tell us how you ended up
in such esteemed company. [chuckles]

Public defender Ja Boluu.

[all groan loudly]

That guy's the worst. He cost me my eye.

And half my tail!

And me, my dignity. [garbles, gulps]

-Oh.
-And somehow, we're all still in here.

-Boluu is a menace.
-Did you do it?

What? You're kidding me?

[chuckles] Of course I did!
They caught me dead to rights. Ha-ha.

[all laughing]

-Great.
-[chuckling]

-Well, hope it was worth it.
-Oh, it was.

As soon as I get outta here,
I'm going to make another run at it.

[guards whizzing]

What in the world could be worth that?

You ain't heard
about the Treasure of Doloraam?!

Kalatite.

[all] Kalatite.

[softly] Tite, tite, tite.

[chuckles] Very nice, guys.

Uh-huh.

And what the heck's Kalatite?

Oh, it's a crystal

that only grows here on Doloraam.

It forms on the roots of trees here,
deep, deepunderground.

Okay. What makes it so valuable?

-[intriguing music plays]
-[creature chitters]

[snoring]

[gags]

-Who did that?
-[Batlang chuckles]

I swear, Mox,
if you're feeding me fungus again...

-Calm down in there!
-Stay outta this!

[Boarfish snorts, growls]

[thrum building]

-[blast]
-[Boarfish grunts]

[thrum fades]

-[creaking]
-[exhales]

[squeals wheezily]

Tess did not tell me about that.

The Doloraami got some sort
of sacred connection to the stuff.

They're the only ones
that seem to be able to use it like that.

Really?

Yep. Doesn't stop people from trying
to get their hands on it though.

I mean,
that's why the Conglomerate's here.

Wait. The Conglomerate is here?

-[thrusters whoosh]
-[dramatic music plays]

What a view! Look at that.
Wow. It's so glittery.

Oh, look at all the little ants.

Keep me up here forever. [chuckles]

[engine powering down]

[door hisses, whirs]

[thuds]

Your Highness, they are here.

-Where is the emperor?
-[clang]

Apologies for the delay, my love.

Where have you been?

I was held up by a... a proceeding.

I couldn't get away.

Huh. Something more important
than the affairs of our planet?

-[clears throat]
-[clang]

Empress Gurira, Emperor Odoman,

I cannot tell you
how excited I am to be here.

Welcome to Doloraam, Sa...?

Oh. [chuckles] Just Pam.
That's what all my friends call me.

Can I tell you, I am just so happy
to be able to meet you on your home world.

You have such a beautiful planet.

And I just adore your culture.

Thank you... Pam.

Thank youfor agreeing to meet with me.

Your planet has been isolated for so long.
This is truly a gift.

Well, your company has been very insistent
about working with us.

[laughs] I know. We're awful, right?

Have you given any consideration
to our offer?

We're... still discussing it.

I get it. I get it.

It's a big decision.
Well, don't worry about me.

I just want to spend my time here
immersing myself

in your wonderful customs.

-You know where to find me.
-[clang]

[stone doors grinding]

[doors thud]

Assemble the council.

The Tribulations of Fire!
You're a dead man.

Ah, come on, Mox.
Don't be so melodramatic. [chuckles]

Okay, so it's not that bad.

-Oh, no, it's pretty horrible.
-[groans]

[laughs] Might as well
throw yourself out the window now.

It would be more merciful.

Come on, guys. Help me out here.

What can I expect?

The trials are supposed
to prove your innocence,

but the whole thing's rigged.

They're just gonna wear you down

until you admit you did
whatever they said you did.

[inhales] Or you, you know, die.

-Wonderful.
-[glass squeaks]

I just wanna get outta here
and find my family.

[door opens]

Prepare yourself, prisoner!
Your ceremonial garb.

Uh. Where's the rest of it?
This is a joke, right?

Right?

Oh, hey.

If you wanna survive the first trial,
I suggest you go for the skull.

-What?
-Good luck.

-[funky music playing]
-[crowd cheering]

[Terry] Cool.
Didn't think things would get worse.

They got worse.

[crowd booing]

-Boo!
-Boo! Get out!

[woman] Mm.

[crowd jeering]

-[Kunaari grunting]
-The infamous bounty hunter Sabo Brok.

-[female meows seductively]
-This is your lead, Emperor? Hmm.

Where is my bride, outlander?

[Terry gasps]

You know, if you give him to me,

my people could extract the information
in no time.

Our methods are quite sufficient.

[chuckling]

It will spare us from having to suffer
these ridiculous games.

That is not our way, B'Caala.

These games are a part of our tradition,

a tradition you know
we are bound to uphold.

Outlander, you have violated the kingdom,

betrayed me,

and denied the people of Doloraam
their princess!

I ask you again,

where is my daughter?

Last time I saw her, she was safe.

[somber ambient music playing]

Let the Tribulations of Fire begin!

-[dramatic music plays]
-[flames whooshing]

[crowd chanting] Chok tai tuk!

Chok tai tuk!

-[crowd cheer]
-[legs rasp sharply]

[chittering snarl]

[tense percussive music plays]

[grunts, gasps]

What am I supposed to do with these?

-[legs flutter]
-[chitters]

[silence]

[up-tempo drumming]

[drumming ends]

Uh...

[screeches]

Whoa! H-Hold up!
Hold up! Hold up! Hold up!

[chitters]

[percussive music plays]

This what you want?

[chitters]

Ha. Ha. Oh. Okay. A little footwork. Ha!

-Hey, hey! A little shuffle, and... Whoa!
-[crack]

[crowd gasp]

[chitters, screeches]

Ouch! Seriously?
You're getting me on a technicality?

[laughter]

[funky synth-pop music playing]

This what you want?
This right here? Is this what you want?

[music continues]

[shoes squeaking]

[crowd cheering loudly]

[chittering]

[cheering continues]

[screeches]

[tense music playing]

[chittering]

[music ends]

-[suspenseful music plays]
-[crowd gasp]

Ah, screw it.

-♪ Ah, ah-ah, mm, ah, ah ♪
-[fingers snapping]

♪ Mm, ah, ah-ah, mm, ah, ah ♪

Ha, ha. Little footwork. Hey. Hey.

-[screeches]
-[Terry] Ah!

[dramatic music plays]

-[grunts]
-[creature snarls]

I suggest you go for the skull.

The skull.

-[grunts]
-[creature screeches]

-[clang]
-[creature screeches]

[all gasp]

[cheering loudly]

Hey! Ha-ha-ha!

Yeah, baby!

Continue your games, if you wish.
I have important matters to attend to.

Ha-ha! Yeah, baby!
What else you got, Doloraam?

-[high-pitched ringing]
-[Terry groans]

[ringing fades out]

Okay, so what are we waiting for?
We know where he is.

Grandma and Grandpa have him.
Let's just go get him.

-Is this another jailbreak?
-[Tess] No.

-[Sean gasps]
-No, this is...

This is a lot more complicated
than that. [sighs]

Guys, just...
Just give me some time to think. [sighs]

What's complicated?

Why is it complicated?

Drama! Am I right?

-Speaking of jailbreaks...
-Quiet, Blobby!

Don't be mean to Blobby, Lisa.
You're not mad at him. You're mad at Mom.

Ah. Thank you, Sean.

-Quiet, Blobby.
-Wow.

[KRS] Now, Lisa, I know you're upset,

but take it easy on your mom.

She's got a lot goin' on.

Me? She's the one with all the secrets.

She had this amazing life
as a space princess

that she decided to hide from us.

Meanwhile, we gotta grow up on Earth,
basically the junkyard of the universe.

You're not wrong about that last part.

-Quiet, Blobby.
-All right, all right!

Maybe we don't know the whole story.

[scoffs] I know they lied to us again.

Um, ex-squeeze me.

This might be bad timing,

but seeing as how you guys know
where your dad is, and all that now, uh,

I was thinking maybe I could,
you know, whoop. [clicks]

-You know what I'm saying?
-Are you serious?

Blobby did everything
we asked him to do, Lisa.

Ugh!

[beeps, trilling]

[squelching]

Guh! Oh. Pardon me.

There. You're free to go.
We'll drop you off at our next stop.

Jeez. Uh...

Thanks, kid.

[footsteps]

[sighs] Whatever.

[B'Caala] Think what this deal would mean
for our planet.

We could become...

a real player in the galaxy.

And Doloraami would lose the very things

that keep our two people as equals.

-[growls softly]
-[woman] Duke B'Caala.

Your argument is compelling,

but we are not ready to move forward.

We must learn more
about the Conglomerate and their motives

before we can make our decision.

[growls softly]

[unsettling ambient music playing]

-[groans]
-[clapping]

-[prisoners cheer]
-Whoa! You did it!

I knew you'd pull it off.

-[Terry] Really?
-Oh, yeah.

-[Boarfish grunts]
-Not these guys though. [chuckles]

They had you at 20-to-1 odds!

-Pay up, you nerps.
-[prisoners grumble]

[laughing]

It's about time somebody showed up
those stuffy Doloraami nobles.

-[guard] Sabo Brok, you have a visitor.
-Huh?

[unsettling ambient music plays]

[B'Caala] Leave us.

[footsteps departing]

Oh. The cat man.

We've not been formally introduced,

Sabo Brok.

I'm B'Caala.

-Duke B'Caala, if you wish.
-[Terry] Mm-hmm.

Quite the show you gave during the trials.

-Beating the Mellichnid, impressive.
-What do you want?

Emperor Odoman seems to think
that you know where my betrothed is.

Is that true?

I get it. You're a professional.
A bounty hunter never tells, right?

Come on. What really happened?

Hey. She pay you off, hmm?

Give you a couple of bucks
to drop her in a corner of the galaxy

and keep your mouth shut, hmm?

-Am I close?
-I don't know what you're talking about.

I'll double what she paid you.
Heck, I'll even triple it.

All you have to do
is tell me where she is,

and you'll be outta here by dawn.

[tense music playing]

Look, she's just an entitled,
spoiled little princess, okay?

[Terry grunts]

Interesting.

Sorry. Got nothing for you, man.

Have it your way, Sabo.

Take your chances
with the Tribulations then.

[clang]

[snoring]

[Sean sighs]

[Lisa] Mm.

[gloomy music playing]

[sighs]

-[KRS] Are you all right?
-I'm good.

-[KRS] You sure? 'Cause...
-[sighs]

I'm okay. Seriously.

I know what I gotta do now. [sighs]

Set course for the Abalon System,

Veeger-79.

[KRS] You got it!

Time to visit an old friend.

-[epic music playing]
-[thrusters rumble, blast]

[music fades out]

[suspenseful electronic music playing]