01x03 - From Virgin to Vixen

[bunniefuu]

MUSIC: Area Codes by Kaliii

HE WHISPERS: Very retro.

How much do you want this?

What's taking so long?

Here.

Mm. Very retro.

Two seconds.

MOANING

Oh, yeah!

SHE PANTS

What's your name again?

Them nails are gonna take

you from virgin to vixen.

Virgin? Kyazike, I

have had sex, you know.

Yeah, but you're more

on the vanilla side.

Vanilla? Hmm, me?

If only you knew what

I've been getting up to.

With who? You and Tom been

having a lickle make-up sexy?

No. No, no, we're done. Wow!

For now. I'm really glad that

you've accepted that one.

Wait, w How long have

you thought it was done?

Listen, let's not get into the

ins and outs of mandem's past.

Who you been f*cking, sis?

I'll tell you later.

Anyway, I'm fine.

Don't worry about me.

I'm out here living

my best life.

OK. And you're not

letting them bareback?

You know, they're

strapping up, right? Yeah.

INTERNALLY: Sometimes.

Kay.

Are you gonna be

able to handle those?

Yeah. Can handle

anything. I'm a

I'm a pro.

MUSIC: Reggae Man by APM

Hi, Grandma!

How you mean, "Hi, Grandma"?

Queenie! We never expect you.

The boiler's broken and, um, I have

to have a bath before I go out.

The water rates, Queenie!

WOMAN: Queenie, I won't be long.

THUD

Let me wash your back.

Grandma, Grandma, Grandma!

Grandma, please. SHE LAUGHS

I've seen it all

before, Queenie! Hmm.

And if you don't mind me saying,

my form at your age

..was a lot finer than yours.

Oh, ow.

I do mind you saying

that, actually.

INTERNALLY: Oh, no, she's seen

the love bite. She's gonna start.

Looks like you and your

friend are back on.

Not the response I expected.

No.

No, we're not.

What's that saying about

letting something go free

and it coming back to

you? GRANDMA CHUCKLES

We don't have such a

saying in Jamaica. Hmm.

We all know heartache,

but life goes on, Queenie,

and you, you'll be just fine.

Why don't you talk to your

mother about all this?

She's soft like you.

Should've known.

Better with all

this heart stuff.

Like you said Grandma,

I'll be fine.

Better to bury it

all the way down.

PHONE WHISTLES

Queenie, you ready?

Um, I'm just stepping

out now, Grandma.

I'll come by later in the week.

How you mean? Come in here

and say goodbye properly.

No, no, no, Grandma.

My car's here.

GRANDMA SCREAMS

Heavenly Father!

What mistake did I make in life

that my granddaughter would think

that it is suitable to dress in

a way that shames her grandmother

and gives her grandfather a

heart attack? Bye, Grandma.

Bye, Grandad.

Call the ambulance

on your way out!

DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

Woo-ooh-ooh!

I should've listened to Darcy when

she was explaining the dress code.

It's amazing that The Daily

Reader has budget for Halloween

at the skate rink but no

Black History Month content.

Ugh. I'm sorry, I'm

sorry. I'm I'm sorry.

Oh!

sh*t! Sorry, love.

Hey, you.

Or should I say "Hugh"?

HE CHUCKLES Yeah.

Oh, you're funny, aren't you?

Mm, so I've heard.

And you're

..really good looking.

Yeah, you're not

too bad yourself.

Oh.

I'm, um I'm Guy, by the way.

Um, I'm Queenie.

Whoa! Oh!

SKELETON LAUGHS CREEPILY

Well, it looks like we came

in matching costumes, then.

Oh, so you didn't, um, want to

dress as something scary either?

I don't know, some people might

find Hugh Hefner a bit scary.

But no, I was actually at another

party, and then I came here.

Mm.

Glad I did, though.

Yeah?

Oh, yeah.

Looks like I've caught

myself a Playboy bunny.

SHE CHUCKLES

Excuse me.

Hi! Hi.

Hi. Hi. I've been

looking for you.

Yeah, I just, um I was

a bit caught up, um

But I'm here now. What

What do you need me to do?

Well, half the skaters

are already gone, Queenie.

I needed you to get them

to sign release forms.

It's fine. Just

go get the forms,

and I'll get them back.

No, no, it's fine.

It's fine. Enjoy yourself.

I need to carry on working.

It's not often I

ask for your help.

Darcy Da

SHE EXHALES What

were you saying?

Ooh, thank you.

For the Dutch courage.

Thirsty, then? Yeah.

Do you wanna come back to mine?

Um, yeah. Now?

f*ck yeah! Let's go.

INTERNALLY: Bringing him back

to mine feels a bit risky.

Maybe I should've pushed him

out at the traffic lights.

Or maybe not.

Ah. Easy.

You're so sexy. I just can't

control myself around you.

Ooh!

Come on. QUEENIE GIGGLES

You ready for this?

As I'll ever be.

Aye, aye, Captain.

Is it rude if I ask him

to move to the left a bit?

You loving this?

Nearly.

Mm-hm, yeah.

I need to hear you

say, "Yes, sir."

Is this army roleplay?

Ow!

Y-Yes, sir. Yes, sir!

Again.

SLAP Let's go!

SLAP Ow!

HE MOANS

Tom was never

that commanding.

Maybe that's the

kind of thing I like.

I think that was fun.

Yeah, that was fun.

I hope you know we're

gonna be doing this a lot.

Oh, are we?

Sure, OK.

That's OK. I didn't

need to be warm anyway.

So, then we woke up properly,

had sex again three more times.

It's more than Tom

could ever manage.

INTERNALLY: Even though just the

once with Tom was always so nice.

Three? I remember the days me and

Simon used to have regular sex,

and even then it would only

ever be once a session.

And you know, on the third

time, we almost, almost

..did a**l.

Why almost?

Well, it's on my

list of things to do

but, like, I'm not

there just yet.

I've done a**l, you know?

No, you haven't.Yeah,

I have. SHE GIGGLES

Only on Valentine's

Day, though. Ooh!

It's my annual gift to Simon.

Oh, you dark horse. So, anyway,

the next day he messages me, OK?

Because I thought it was

just a one-time thing,

but, Darcy, he just

keeps coming back.

Well, do you think this might

turn into something serious?

No .No. It's a

thing. I mean, I'd

I'd say it's a thing rather

than a serious thing.

Well, congratulations on your

first situationship. Thank you.

Oh, would we call

it that just yet?

I mean Pfft.

I just keep picturing how

sick Tom is gonna look

when he sees me walking down

the street with his upgrade.

Mm, yeah. Um

Queenie, I'm not sure how healthy it

is that your focus here is on Tom.

I'm not. I I'm

I haven't I wasn't

even thinking about him.

If you're sure. Mm-hm.

Sorry, can I just

grab you a second?

Yeah.

No. You, I am going to

stop for a moment. OK.

Drop.

Queenie, advice.

Mm-hm.

My-My mother, t-terrifying

woman, by the way,

and never wrong,

always used to say,

"Keep one foot on the ground

when two are in the air."

What? Like What, like a

Like a tripod? I've

only got two feet, Gina.

Ah, you're not hearing me. Well,

you've been coming into work late,

tired, wearing the same

outfit two days in a row.

I know Darcy's been

covering for you.

This woman doesn't

miss anything.

Just slow down, Queenie.

I'm not being fast. OK,

well, however you're being

..is this you?

Why don't you take a

couple of days off?

Go away for a long weekend, really

give yourself a proper break.

Why does she think I

can afford to do that?

I'm OK. It-It's

It's better for me to come to work.

I'm not good sitting down at home

with nothing to focus on.

That's when the demons

come knocking, so

OK, well, the offer stands.

And trust me,

you are going to have to face up

to those demons at some point.

And until then, I have alcohol.

Just walk with me. It's

fine. Darcy, it's not that

Sorry. I'm fine, Darcy.

Hi, Ted? Hi. Sorry.

Um, I think she might've had an

allergic reaction to something.

No, Darcy, it's

fine. Can you just

Look, can you just watch

her while I get some water?

Yeah, sure. Thank

you. Sorry. Oh, sure.

Honestly, I'm

OK, OK. Are you OK?

I'm so good.

You sure, mate?

Yes. Yes, I'm fine. I'm

I'm good. Hey, oi,

it's all right.

Let's get you home, eh?

Sure. Um Um, tell me.

It's, um

It's 13B Renaissance Road.

No.

No, that's SHE SIGHS

That's Tom's place.

Don't type that in. Um

OK.

It's 34 Osbourne Road.

Um

Ted, can you just Can you figure

out the rest, cos Yeah, OK.

Yeah. Right, let's, um Let's

get you some air, all right? Yeah.

We're gonna work it out

outside. Come on. OK.

There we go.

All right. Hold on. All right.

All right? Here we go. Mm-hm.

I'm gonna take you home, yeah?

No.

They're gone? Yeah.

OK.

MUSIC: I'm Not Perfect (But I'm

Trying) by Rachel Chinouriri

Watch your step.

I'm just gonna take your

shoes off, all right?

Ted? Yeah?

I can't sit on the bed

in my outside clothes.

Oh, OK. OK. All

right. All right.

Oh!

You good?

All right.

Oh, OK. All right.

HE MUMBLES TO SELF

BELL RINGING KNOCKING ON DOOR

SHE GROANS

"Drink a lot of this

and take those"?

"See you Monday. Kiss."

PHONE BUZZES

SHE SIGHS

BELL RINGS

KNOCKING ON DOOR

f*ck.

You forgot you was meant to be

looking after me today, innit?

No, I didn't.

Why would you think

that? SHE SUCKS TEETH

God forgive me if I

vomit on this small girl.

You not gonna get dressed, nah?

Nope.

Cuz, you know you ain't

got no food in your yard?

Cos man don't eat

here much still.

Ew. Is that how they used

to speak in the '80s?

The '80s? What? I

was born in the '90s.

Wait, how old do

you think I am? Mm.

All right, cool. Relax. Relax.

Well, do you wanna go to

a restaurant or something?

No. Grandma gave us

money to eat, innit?

Oh. So Grandma probably

knows that I'm broke too.

Food's here. Already? This

girl don't mess about.

TV BLARES

MAN ON TV: So when

I was a little you,

everyone used to

call me Fireman

Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MESSAGE TONE

Why you airing your mum?

It's personal. You

wouldn't understand.

I'm 15. I understand everything.

You, on the other hand,

your life's looking a bit

..messy.

No, it's not.

Really?

Maybe she's right.

Time to set some intentions.

Now that I'm in

this thing with Guy,

I need to put the dating

apps on ice for a bit.

Don't drink, especially

on an empty stomach.

Don't vape either. You're

literally sucking a battery.

Also need to stop

thinking about To

..men, and instead, spend

actual real-life time

with my friends, rather

than updating them

with all my sexual

moves in the group chat.

This is quickly becoming

The Queenie Show.

Kyaz Kyaz.

Do you know how cold it

is? You lot are jokers.

I've been standing here chattering

my teeth like a dickhead.

You lot take the piss.

Hold on a second. Why

are you all in heels?

Oh, it's so nice

to meet you in IRL.

You never told me

she was so friendly.

This is going well.

And how do you pronounce

your name again? Kyazike.

Right. So it's like

Cesca, like Francesca?

No. It's like my name,

not the Western one.

Right, OK. Come on

then, fashion K*llers.

We need to find a good

spot in the park before

the fireworks start,

so Yes let's, uh

Look, I think

realistically, bar?

Nope. I know where we're

going. Let's go, girls.

Let's, let's go.

Kay.

Call me later,

yeah? Yeah, yeah.

Kyaz. And how are you and

your boyfriend, Darcy?

Oh, yeah. Good, thanks.

Um, we actually moved in

together a couple of months ago.

Still a few teething problems,

but I'm sure we'll be

all right. You know?

Interesting. And how long

have you been together?

Uh, well, coming up six years.

Wow. Hear that, Queenie?

Six whole years and they're

still having teething problems.

Maybe next time you should wait

a bit longer before

moving in with a partner.

Oh, well, I'm not really

sure it's the same thing.

Sorry. I'm not being mean,

just being practical.

You must have a man, then? Since

you're the relationship expert.

I do, actually.

What? What, a whole a whole

boyfriend? You kept that quiet.

Yeah, well, it

happened very quickly.

But when you know,

you know. You know?

You're right. Come on.

I told him I wasn't expecting

to meet someone so forward,

and he laughed and asked me

if we wanted to go for coffee.

So we did. Mm.

And, uh, no girlfriend drop, which

obviously, I was waiting for.

Anyway, so coffee

turned into dinner,

and then dinner turned into

him walking me home. Ooh.

He walked her home?

What if I wanna live in

the romcom Cassandra's in?

What's the girlfriend drop?

OK. It's when a man, even if

he's the one who approached you,

has to find a way to let you

know he has a girlfriend.

So like, "See how

the sky is blue?"

"That's my girlfriend's

favourite colour."

CHUCKLING: Right, OK.

Or like,

"I can't tell you

the time right now

"because my girlfriend's

borrowing my watch."

Yeah. Thanks, Kyazike.

Oh. Thank you.

This is gonna put hairs

on your chest. What is it?

Don't think, just drink.

Mm-hm.

Oh. That's strong.

Anyway, so, we have so

many common interests.

It's actually one of the

strongest connections

I've ever had with a man.

Second time we had sex, Guy

told me he was a BDSM king.

I'd much rather a connection

king, to be honest.

I've also decided not to have

penetrative sex with him.

Oh. OK.

Why are you denying

yourself like that?

I'm not denying

myself of anything.

Queenie, didn't you say

you were seeing someone?

Really? No. What? No.

The a**l guy? I mean, nobody

special, just a few very non

non-special guys. It's not

even worth talking about.

But you know, just, the sex

is, uh, the sex is good.

Hmm. He could slow down on the

domination and submission stuff.

You still feel like this is the

best way to distract yourself?

Well, it's better than doing yoga

with you. I nearly died last time.

Why don't we start dating

black guys, Queenie?

Like, throw some

melanin in the mix.

It's not as easy as that.

Look, I'm sure we're

all very sex positive,

but maybe sex isn't the best way

to feel better about

yourself, you know?

This "spending time with real-life

friends" thing is really backfiring.

Do you know what,

guys? I'm good.

Sex is not the only

thing that I'm doing, OK?

Can we just watch the fireworks?

OK. Well, as long

as you're happy.

I'm happy.

Well. I will be

..one of these days.

Kyazike, I love your shoes.

Thank you, Cassandra.

You know what?

I'm gonna hook you

up with my shoe guy.

Don't ask where they came from,

just know that they're

mainly legit. Promise

I'll get him to be

gentle this time.

More

..intimate.

HE SIGHS

I thought you were

gonna stay over.

Why would I stay? I'm

not your boyfriend.

Wow. And there I was secretly

hoping that this fun might turn into

more than just f*cking.

Yeah, you're right.

Well, that was fun.

Let me know when you

wanna do it again.

Yeah, sure thing.

HE SLAPS HER

Who knew having fun would

stop being fun so quickly?

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow,

ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

SHE GRUNTS

This isn't what I signed up for.

So, what have you been up

to since I last saw you?

How do I answer that one?

Just, you know, just the usual.

Now let's look at

getting this coil out

and replacing it

with another one.

Is the new one gonna work?

SIGHS

Ow.

Queenie, there's quite a

lot of vaginal tearing.

Too much for me to feel

comfortable continuing.

What?

Has something happened, Queenie?

No No, I had, I had

sex last night, but

I'm sorry to ask this

so frankly, but

..are you in an a*usive

relationship, Queenie?

I would never be that person.

I would never be like her.

WOMAN LAUGHING

MAN: I told you how much I

hate it when you do that.

WOMAN: What, laugh?

Do you think I find it funny?

Sorry, Roy. Uh,

Queenie, go upstairs.

No No, let her stay down here

since she loves her mother so much.

No, no. Please.

Please, what?

No, sh she's

my daughter, Roy.

GASPS, PANTS

Mum?