01x04 - Hands-On The Dough

[bunniefuu]

The characters, plot, situations

and stories are purely fictional.

Any resemblance to fact

is purely coincidental.

[man] How long has Mama Cake

been supplying

special cakes to the nursing home?

"Special"?

How much does each cake cost?

Where does she get the ingredients?

[Aurelia]I don't know anything about it.

Couldn't I at least have

a little water to go on?

[water pouring]

[theme music playing]

No, Ponchito, no.

That's not possible, no.

I could never allow that, no.

But why?

Well, for starters, because it's ill*gal.

I wouldn't be the first minor

to work to help his family.

And you're my family.

Uh, that's right.

Never doubt that.

-Yes, but

-No, look.

There's no buts about it.

Look, close your eyes.

-Huh?

-Close your eyes. Imagine.

[lively music playing]

[Poncho] You, in a few months,

relaxing at home,

without any financial troubles.

And me, now of age,

as general manager of Mama Cake,

very happy

because sales are not only on the rise,

but we've also eliminated

all the competition.

A very famous trafficker ♪

We're number one.

[screams]

No. No, not that, never.

I'd send you back to the reform school

before you end up like that. No way.

A crime is a crime.

But it's only for a few months

till I turn 18.

It's not as if you're putting dope

in your cakes.

Putting dope in my cakes?

No kidding.

[laughs nervously]

What an idea!

You made me laugh.

But now you've confused me.

So, what secret do you mean

when you say you know "my secret"?

I know why you're doing all this.

For me.

I know they want to take your house.

You were going to a nursing home

and you changed your plan

so I wouldn't go back to reform school.

-Is that all you know?

-It's all that matters to me.

I'm not going to stand by

while you work for me.

I'm not going to stop working

until this house is yours.

And, well,

there's something else I wanted to ask.

Yes, what do you need, dear?

Look.

So, what do you need, dear?

Can I call you "Grandma"?

Of course.

Come here.

[Freddy] Has he already gone

to the afterlife?

[Morro] No, this guy has gone, come back,

returned and is on his way back again.

[laughing]

What did you say, Morro?

Who did you say stole

the 20 kilos of weed?

It was Morro who stole it.

What do you think of that?

No, wait, Freddy. No.

No, wait.

And not only did he steal the 20 kilos,

he's also been taking money

out of petty cash

because he says you're such an idiot

that you'd never find out.

No. Look, no, boss.

-Right?

-No, Freddy, no.

What? Do you even believe him, boss?

I

You know how I punish thieves, right?

-I don't know.

-[knife thuds]

[Freddy screaming]

[retching]

[vomiting]

-Boss, are you okay?

-[Hans] I'm dying.

What did you say?

I'm dying.

No, don't tell me that.

So don't resist anymore.

There's nothing you can do.

[laughs]

You're right.

There's nothing I can do

about this damned blood phobia.

[retching]

[coughing]

No, it's fine, boss.

You had to pretend that it was you

in order to unmask the traitor.

You're awesome.

Yes. Yeah, I'm awesome.

I'm awesome.

[chuckles]

[laughs]

f*cking old lady.

[door opens and closes]

[screams]

Girl, for God's sake!

Glad to find you awake.

-What's that money?

-It's from our first sale.

Who did you sell those cakes to?

To the nursing home residents.

And best of all, we already have orders.

How could you do that?

I told you to not even let them see them!

I told you!

Relax.

I didn't force them

or trick them or anything.

In fact, they threatened me

because I wouldn't give them the cakes.

-What are you saying?

-It's normal, María.

They're lonely.

-Without any comfort.

-Well, yes, but think

Remember how good

it made your husband feel.

Why should we deny them that happiness?

No, it's very different

because my husband was sick.

So are the old people in the home.

Look at this cash.

If we carry on like this,

we can pay off Gloria.

You'll even have enough left over to send

your grandson to a posh university.

Isn't that what you want?

[gate clangs]

No, wait, María.

We can give up the business there.

There's that jerk again. He's back.

-I'm going to put him in his place.

-Who?

Who? Morro!

He's going to get it.

[Xiadani] No! Wait, María!

You'll break your vase!

[María] He's going to get to know me.

Aren't you ashamed of yourself, idiot?

-Wait, María.

-Jerk!

-I beg your pardon?

-María, it's not what you think.

What? I'm not going to keep quiet.

I will tell this jerk what I think.

At least let me introduce you.

María, this is Commander Cárdenas.

That's right.

Second Captain of the Narcotics Division.

At your service. Good evening.

[EDM music playing on radio]

Why didn't you defend me?

Why didn't you just k*ll him now?

Okay, are you crazy or what?

I told you,

it has to look like an accident.

Otherwise, the Asians will screw us.

You get it? Eh?

Where are my fingers?

How should I know?

-My fingers?

-Here they are!

Hey, here they are. Okay?

[groans]

What?

You didn't even put them on ice.

Forgive me.

Where did you want me to get it?

Stop being so shrill. I'm taking you

to the hospital to get them sewn on!

Wait. First,

we're going to settle the score

with the one who made fools of us

with those cakes.

It's not going to stay that way, Freddy.

Morro in action, buddy!

Morro in action!

Narcotics?

I'm sure you've got me confused

with my twin brother, Morro.

And you know what? I'm not surprised.

It happens to me a lot.

I got a tip that he was seen in this area.

And, well

How long have you been back?

Well, first of all, we didn't leave.

Second, it's none of your business.

What are you talking about?

I don't understand.

Ma'am, could you tell me

why you're so angry at my brother?

What did he do?

[Morro] No! No way!

What the hell is my brother doing here?

-I don't know, man!

-Damn it.

Please, Morro, take me to the hospital.

[hesitating] Morro

Morro bought a few cakes

from María, right?

María saw you and mistook you for him.

and thought, "He'll complain."

Because she gave him the wrong cakes.

But that's all, right?

-[nervously] That's all.

-Yes.

And the truth is that I don't like it

when they come complaining.

Especially about my cakes

-because I make them with so much love.

-[Xiadani murmurs in agreement]

Is that all?

-Yes.

-Yes, that's all.

Okay.

Well, I hate to tell you this, ma'am.

My brother is a criminal.

So I advise you

not to have any dealings with him.

It's not the first time

he's taken advantage of innocent people.

Is that all you came to tell us?

Well, it's my job as a cop

to come warn you.

We've been warned, right?

-We've been warned.

-Right.

[chuckles]

-Good night.

-[Cárdenas] I'm not done yet.

-Could we talk in private?

-No.

Please.

Xiadani, please, I need to know

why you chose my brother.

What has he got that I don't?

Sorry.

Good night!

What? You chose the criminal

and let the policeman go?

-More or less.

-You're crazy.

Why? If they're identical.

No, they're not as identical

as you'd think, María.

They have their differences.

But don't ask me anymore!

[Jorge] I knew it.

The special cakes

will make us millionaires.

I don't want to be a millionaire.

I just want money so I can pay

that Morro guy for his crap

and then live in peace.

Nothing more.

So how are you going to pay

what you owe Gloria?

Well, yes,

money to pay your wife too.

But nothing more.

No, dude, and how will you pay

for your grandson's posh university?

They're expensive, right? Very expensive.

Well

Okay.

Let's do business.

[both cheer]

Yes.

But we will only sell our special cakes

to people who really need them.

Like my friends in the nursing home.

Yes, and they're great customers too.

Do you know how many nursing homes

there are in this area alone?

We'll do business under my rules.

And let it be clear

that if anyone breaks them,

at that point, it's all over.

Agreed?

Do you understand?

Yes.

-Good morning, sir.

-Hello.

I'm the one who sent you a message

to see the '84 model.

Yes, go ahead.

All the way down.

Okay. Excuse us.

-Come on.

-Let's go.

Really, thanks a lot for yesterday.

I don't know

what I would've done without you.

Don't worry, really.

Why didn't you tell

María about your allergies?

So as not to worry her, obviously.

And you? Why didn't you tell your bosses

about your tachycardia?

So as not to worry them, obviously.

-[scoffs]

-[chuckles]

What do you think?

It's super cool, isn't it?

Yes.

If I do the repairs myself,

I'm sure I can save a lot.

The important thing is it's ready

so my grandma

can get started with her business.

I'm sure she'll love it.

[María] I will allow my grandson

to participate in the business,

but only in the legal part.

And under no circumstance can he find out

about the secret ingredient in our cakes.

Well, there's a matter

that we need to address.

If we can't use marijuana from criminals,

where are we going to get

the raw material?

Well, we'll cross that bridge

when we come to it.

For the time being, I'm going to finish

what I had for my late husband.

And how much did you keep in reserve?

Enough for an emergency.

But a big emergency.

So, where do we start?

At the beginning.

[María] I know this isn't even

the interest on what I owe you,

but it's a sign of my willingness to pay.

I'm not interested in your money.

I can pay you a similar amount

twice a week.

Excuse me.

-Didn't you hear me?

-Let go of me.

I don't want your money.

Especially in installments.

The spa is a fact.

Everything is already arranged

with investors.

My house will never be a spa.

I have legal advice.

And as long as I pay the debt

before the promissory notes expire,

the house will remain mine!

[lively music playing on radio]

[Poncho] No, man,

I'll put on brand new rims.

If I have time, I'll tune the engine,

and one day I'll change the exhaust

to a stainless steel one.

How much do you know about mechanics?

[whistles] I'm good at making upgrades.

There's a lot you don't know about me.

But I think that first

Mama Cake's logo needs to be updated.

-Yes.

-And then, if it's a success,

you can buy more

and build a network of food trucks.

-No?

-Yes.

[music goes out of tune]

THE LITTLE TRUCK

[Poncho] What now?

[engine cranking]

Let's get to work.

That cash won't fall from the sky.

[shushes]

Be careful not to break the rules

by being greedy.

What did we agree? Let's see.

What did we agree?

[both] No selling to minors

or pregnant women.

Or to Or to

-To po

-To police.

To police.

Very good. And that goes for you, Xiadani.

-Why?

-You have every skeleton in the closet.

And you, Jorge, no trading

or business with dubious people.

We understand each other, right?

-Understand, right?

-Yes.

Very good. Let's go.

[Wences] Nice day for a walk, isn't it?

This wagon needs

a good tuning, spark plugs, everything.

Let's see if they'll pick us up.

What are you doing there?

-Sorry, I just love heights.

-Yeah?

Mmm-hmm. I'm obsessed.

From the first time I jumped

on my 18th birthday

and I felt all that adrenaline in my body,

I knew I wanted to fly forever.

What about the army?

I want my life to have meaning, you know?

Helping, generating change.

I think we share a hero complex.

But if I confirm that I really have PSV

and the army finds out about it,

goodbye to my dreams.

Why don't you go to the doctor?

No, the tachycardia

only happened once, out of the blue,

while doing an important test.

I don't want to upset anyone

until I have more data.

Exercise, check my heart rate.

I don't want it saved in a medical record

and have it all become a problem.

We prepare them with the best ingredients.

And they have [whispers indistinctly]

Mmm!

[Xiadani] This is the best.

Mmm. It's very good.

No, I swear, Wences,

that it wasn't my intention

to send the entire home on a trip.

Best day since I've been there.

-Really?

-Yes!

Not only did you give us a very fun night,

but you helped us a lot.

I'd been struggling for weeks

with arthritis, and look at me now.

I could play the piano.

[both laugh]

I say stop hesitating

and live in the moment.

Well, yes, we don't have much time left

to think about tomorrow, right?

Life is lived today.

[chuckles]

It's time to take the next step.

And what is it?

-The dance step.

-Oh!

Hey,

does dancing help monitor your heart rate?

Poncho.

-Come on.

-No, I suck.

Me too. It doesn't matter. Come on.

María, may I have this dance?

[chuckling] Of course.

-[Wences] May I?

-[María] Okay, let's go.

[María chuckling]

[lively music playing]

[both giggling]

Get, get, get back ♪

Get, get, get, get back ♪

Get, get, get back ♪

Get, get, get, get back ♪

Hey.

Hey!

What is it, Officer?

Guys, you'll have to accompany me

for moral misconduct.

-What?

-Officer, we weren't doing anything.

To the best of my knowledge,

kissing is not a crime.

No, as long as you do it with clothes on.

We were dancing.

-It was hot and we lost our heads

-Poncho, relax.

If you really think

that we were committing a crime,

-take us to the police station.

-No.

I think we can

settle it with the officer here.

What are you talking about?

We're not settling anything here.

That would be a crime, and I'll pass.

-Shall we go?

-Identification.

[police radio chattering indistinctly]

[Poncho] Nat,

I know it goes against your principles,

but I think we can settle it

before we get to the station, right?

Poncho, nothing will happen to us

at the station.

Especially when they hear this officer

is abusing his power.

I have a record.

It's something like probation.

Morro, I know I owe you an apology.

An apology and a lot of cash, miss.

You're doing well, right?

No, well, this is not the place.

I can give you your money, but elsewhere.

The basket you took was a mistake.

-Yeah, sure, miss.

-You have to believe me.

Do I have "idiot" on my forehead or what?

You betrayed me.

You screwed me with my own product.

And look at you,

playing rich girl with all these mummies.

-You turned out to be smart.

-[Wences] Hey.

There's no need

to talk to the lady like that.

The "lady" is earned.

And this woman is a traitor.

-I won't let you.

-What? Hmm?

I've never seen you here before.

Come on, handsome, come with me.

I'm going to teach you some dance steps.

Let's see, honey

Aurelia, honey,

isn't it enough to have this handsome guy

who's waiting for you?

What handsome guy?

[María chuckles nervously]

Do you think I'm playing games or what?

Freddy, show them.

This is what happens

to thieves in my world.

[laughs]

You used my product,

now you're going to have to pay for it.

[Wences] Are you crazy?

María didn't use your junk.

That ended up where it needed to,

burning in the trash.

-Yeah?

-Mmm-hmm.

So, what does she bake with?

Well, with the stock

of her wonderful girls.

Little plants raised with love,

not with blood.

Now, Wences. Shut up, please.

Whatever, miss.

You'll have to pay for my product,

and on top of that give me

those little love plants.

-What do you think?

-No, I don't have them anymore.

Then you're going to get them.

[Wences laughing]

I'm sorry, that croissant

is starting to work.

Please, get in the patrol car, okay?

Officer,

sorry, okay?

We were wrong.

But

Please, give us a break.

[chuckles]

Come here, miss, please.

Look, on this occasion,

I'm going to give you a break.

Because you're a colleague

and I respect you,

but if you're going around criticizing,

at least try to stay clean.

But I told you

we were just dancing and we kissed.

Yes, but to the best of my knowledge,

if you're older, French kissing,

undressed, with a minor

That's a crime.

What? You'll pretend that didn't happen?

Sorry for not telling you

about the probation,

but I couldn't find the moment.

When were you going to tell me

that you're a minor?

You lied to me.

I never lied to you.

You never told me you're 17!

Well, you never asked me.

Besides, I'm about to turn 18.

Officer.

Nat?

I need to get out of here.

Get in, partner.

[Jorge] What's up, Xiadani?

Look. Hey, how's it going?

Okay. Alfredo, you know what to do.

Hurry up.

Okay, turn around. Let's go.

Hey, play something crazy.

[lively music playing]

Let's go. The fun's over.

Hurry!

-[María] Please, Morro.

-[Morro] Shut up.

-Nevermind about "Morro."

-[Aurelia] My favorite song!

What

[Aurelia] Let's dance.

Yes, let's dance. It's easy.

-This little step is like this.

-[Morro] Hey!

Get out of the way! No!

When I drive in my Cadillac ♪

The girls start singing ♪

No!

If your mouth were made of chocolate ♪

I'd always be stirring and stirring ♪

Stirring and stirring that chocolate ♪

Stirring and stirring that chocolate ♪

[Morro] Let go!

Freddy!

Let's go!

-Come on, María!

-Please.

-Don't touch me.

-Careful.

Yes, please.

-God in Heaven, help us.

-[Xiadani] Let's go!

[María] Okay.

Fasten yourselves.

[Xiadani] Let's go, María!

They're after us!

I'm going! Don't make me more nervous!

[Jorge] Come on!

Stirring and stirring that chocolate ♪

If your mouth were made of lime ♪

I'd always be biting and biting ♪

Biting and biting that lime ♪

Stirring and stirring that chocolate ♪

Licking and licking that sugarloaf ♪

Kissing and kissing

that strawberry cheesecake ♪

[car horns honking]

Hold on!

Now that old lady will get her ticket.

Come on, Camilita,

to work, honey, to work.

[Xiadani] Oh, my God! [screams]

This as*h*le can't sh**t us

in broad daylight!

[g*nshots]

WE ARE GRATEFUL FOR

THE STELLAR PERFORMANCE FROM

[theme music playing]