01x02 - Episode 2

[bunniefuu]

Previously on
Secrets and Sisterhood...

Having 10 sisters in one family,

it's a tumultuous rollercoaster ride,

without a harness,

and then you fall into the abyss.

- Help me!

I can't!

- I got it!

Hamida!

What are you hiding?
What don't you want me to know?

- I'm exploring my options
between men and women.

- I can't, because even saying it
out loud makes me feel like

I'm doing something wrong.

I just kinda wanna keep it
to myself until I'm ready to share it.

- It's a difficult thing
to talk about... um.

So, I'm pregnant.

So, what are you gonna do?

- I am going to keep the baby.

- I'm scared for you.

Women in our culture

who have children out of wedlock,
they're shunned.

- I just don't want Mom to ask us
to choose between her and you.

Bravo.

Josh and I were going through a divorce

'cause Josh's prescription med addiction
got really, really bad.

But decided to give him a second chance.

My sisters have reservations.

It took Qais 18 years
to get this kind of Eid,

and you got it that quick.

I have to protect her.

They're just red flags,
and I can't just forgive that easily.

- Should I throw you in there
and we find out?

- Five feet. Then you need to go in there.

Eid was definitely a success,

but my sisters are not 100% onboard
with Josh and I getting back together.

They haven't said anything verbatim,
but hello, I can feel it.

He does take a lot of berating
from them and snide remarks,

but he just took it like a champ,
and it makes days like this so worth it.

A penny for your thoughts?
- Ready to get this show on the road.

- And by that you mean?

- Why can't we just wait a little bit?

Just like, like, at least a couple months.

'Cause you and I have done s-so much work,

we just merged our lives back together,

that it's, like, I don't want
that progress to be in vain.

I wanna have my family on my side,
and enjoy my pregnancy with me,

and be able to be there for me,
and share that with them.

You know what I mean?

Like, to have it when there's feuding,

or, like, everyone's disgruntled with me
and my decision to be with you.

That's gonna suck.

I want kids with Josh, but right now,
it's just not the best time.

My family's still getting acclimated
to him and I being together.

He's still...
staying on his path of sobriety,

and I just want
the foundation to be super solid

before we bring in a love child.

Things have been weird with my sisters.

I mean, I get it

'cause they've seen so much
transpire between the two of us,

and it was a lot of bad stuff

that happened, you know?
- Yeah.

- I just want them to give you the love
they used to give you, you know?

That's what I want to happen.

Like, I don't want them to associate you
with the person you were

back then 'cause you're not.

- I know I have a lot of makin' up to do.

- So, do you wanna go to Khadija's
for dinner and talk about it?

Disclaimer:

They're gonna, literally, like,
put your head under a guillotine.

- I already know they are.
I'm already ready for it.

- Are you gonna be okay with it?
- Yeah, because I love you

and that's all that matters.

It does.
- Aww.

- You're worth it.

- I should hope so. Damn.

J got a pass for Eid
because it was a holiday,

but I know my sisters
definitely have a mouthful to say.

Khadija's havin' a family dinner,
and I think this is the best time

to have Josh come,
and have the girls address

any unresolved issues or any kind
of mixed feelings they may have.

I feel like just out with it,
say what you need to say,

and let's find a way to move forward.

- Do you have a list of all
the ingredients that we need?

- I have everything up in here, Gina.
- Of course, you do.

- I know exactly what I need.
- Well, now, now at least I'll learn.

Is this the same thing?

This mix?
- This is just crunchier,

but this is probably spicier.

This is what you used to have
all the time when Shaista would buy it.

- Really? I wanna try...
- Yeah, but I mean, try it both.

You can't go, you can't go wrong.
- Absolutely.

Khadija and I are at one
of our favorite grocery stores

that has all of the Afghan goodies,

and we are shopping
for ingredients to make mantu,

my favorite dish in the whole world.

Mantu is kind of like a dumpling.

It's filled with ground beef
and p... I think potatoes.

Is there potatoes?

Okay, I didn't write
the cookbook on mantu.

I can't guarantee,
but I'm so good at eating it.

- I'm so glad that you guys
are gonna come over

and have mantu at my house.

- Me too.
- I'll make a few things.

So, let's get some ginger.

- It's kind of nerve-wracking that
Khadija's calling a family dinner

because she's like mother hen,

and it's either something serious
that she wants to discuss,

or she just wants
an update with all of our lives.

I know it's gonna be fine in the end,

but it's still, kind of, like...
"What am I getting myself into?"

- I'm so glad that you're
here with me today, Noor.

I haven't seen you in forever.

- I know.
- You're always in San Diego.

I'm really happy that you're here.

- Aw, I miss you too.

- So you're going out there
to see your special friend?

- Well, yeah, you know, I'm spending
a lot of time with my boo in San Diego.

- I hope you're not
plannin' to move out there

'cause, I mean,
you're gone there all the time.

Like, seriously.

- I'm currently in a relationship
with a tall, sexy Croatian man.

We've been together for seven months.

I think really because my sisters
are so used to seeing me all the time,

and he's the one who's
taking me away from them,

they automatically
just don't like my boyfriend.

- We need to get rid of him.

He's, in, in, in nicer words,
a narcissistic, possessive person.

- So, I'm definitely hesitant about
telling them we're moving in together.

- All I want is for you
to be happy, love bug.

But I also don't want you to

be so head and over heels
and everything else

that you don't pay attention
and spend time with everybody else.

- Yeah, I know, but enough about me.

So who's all coming to this dinner?

- I invited everybody,
but you guys can't just come

and show up when the food is ready.

You all have to come and do your part.

Like, I need you to fill up
the mantu wrappers because it's a lot.

Otherwise, we're not gonna eat on time.

- Are you sure that's not
too many chefs in the kitchen?

- We all need to spend more
sister time together because I miss it.

Eid was pretty perfect,

but I'm not really feeling Josh right now.

I wanna make sure
Shakur's going to be all right

because he didn't just hurt Shakur,
he hurt all of us.

And then, all of a sudden, to just show up
and be like, "I'm back. Accept me."

It's not that easy.
You're gonna have to prove yourself.

I need you to be on a mission
and get that rice bag right there

'cause you got bigger muscles than I do.

- This one?
- Right there. Here. This one.

Sella.

How many pounds is this? 40?

- It's the best one, yes.
- Okay, perfect. Then...

Be careful, it's very heavy.

- She's got muscles.
- I'm not worried.

- See that? See, I can do a squat.

Yeah, you can.

- That good?

- You're so annoying.
- What? I'm not annoying.

I'm funny as.

We're not recording now, right?

I'm feeling good.

This has pistachio in it, and chocolate.

Is it good?

I haven't tried...

I don't wanna get crumbs all over me.

Well, open your mouth.

You bit my finger.

It's in your hair now.

- I hope your fingers are clean.
- Of...

I just sanitized them.
You know how much of a germaphobe I am.

Are you crazy?

- Your hair looks different today.
Did you get a perm?

- No, I actually didn't.
This is my natural hair.

- No way.
- I swear.

Wow, you, actually,
have nothing in there.

- I know. Is it really soft, right?

- Yeah.
- There's no gel or anything.

- Looks good.
- Thank you.

- But how you been other than that?

Everything's good with you?

- I mean... better.

- You feeling okay?
- Yeah, I'm feeling good.

I mean... you know, I'm, I'm
just ready to, to move forward,

and, you know...

- Are you ready to tell any other
family members about the pregnancy?

- I feel like this whole situation
has just been over my head.

It's, like, a black cloud
that just, it's just there.

There's just so much stress
on my plate right now.

I'm goin' through divorce,
you know, I'm pregnant.

It's been really tough
harboring this secret

between some of the sisters knowing

and then some of the sisters not knowing.

Khadija's inviting all of us
over for a sister dinner,

but I also feel like she knows something.

That makes me a little nervous.

I wonder if someone broke their wallahi.

I don't wanna have to... explain

how and why I got myself
in the situation that I did.

I don't wanna have to feel any more guilt.

You know, I mean,
I can only hide it for so long,

but I realize, you know,

I took it so hard in terms of

feeling guilty, feeling ashamed,
feeling like I let the family down.

And... I don't really think I owe it
to anyone to have to explain myself.

- Yeah, I understand.

I'm a little bit worried
for the family dinner coming up

because when we
have sister dinners,

they usually have a tendency
of asking a lot of questions and prying,

and I'm just kind of...
worried about getting cornered.

You're ready to let
your hair down for the dinner?

- Yeah, I was thinking about it, actually.
- Yeah?

- Yeah.
- Just forget about everything.

- Yeah, I mean, I want us
all to kinda sit together,

like, in a community setting
where we can just sit around the table,

and dance, and have a good time.

- Josh will be joining Shakur.

I mean, bringing Josh
around for Eid is one thing,

but our sister dinners
are reserved for us.

Josh and Shakur were
recently getting a divorce

because of his addiction,
but they reconciled.

And I'll be honest,
there's a lack of trust

between Josh and the sisters right now.

From a medical standpoint,
I know the behavior patterns of an addict,

and most times,
they'll lie to get themselves

out of a situation or get what they want.

And I don't think enough
healing has taken place,

enough therapy has taken place
for them to just jump the g*n

and get back into it.

And that's the thing is,
I didn't wanna walk into this situation

with any negativity.

I just wanted to... have a good time.

- Yeah, I get it. I don't wanna have
to feel like I'm on my tippy-toes.

You know, like,
if you can handle it, cool,

if not, maybe, don't come around.

- I, I think that Shakur leave...

Let's leave it up to Shakur
to handle her husband.

- Okay.
- We don't need to worry about him.

I'm not gonna offer him
any drinks, you know?

If she wants to let him have a drink,
whatever, that's her decision.

Do you remember how he got outta hand?

- Yeah, he changes.
- He, he changes.

He becomes a little more aggressive
and a little... very protective.

Remember how protective he was?

- Yeah, he embarrassed you
in front of your friend.
- I was like, He did.

- I heard through the grapevine,

I guess, you know,
Josh was a little bit liquored up,

and he, kind of... went off
on one of Jamila's friends

supposedly thinkin', like,
he was tryna make an advance

at either Shakur or another sister.

And so, it kinda got a little bit awkward.

- Without drugs and alcohol,
he's, you know...

- Super cool, chill.
- An amazing, chill human.

I feel like once alcohol goes in,

he, he changes.
- He changes.

- When you do something,
you have to take accountability for it.

Josh put Shakur through a lot

because he left her broken,
and we had to pick up the pieces.

But when he affected her,
he affected all of us.

We all felt her pain,
and he needs to understand that.

So, at this point, I'm kinda
glad he's comin' to sister dinner

because Josh has a lot
of explaining to do to the family,

and you're not getting away
with it from the Sozahdah sisters.

Okay, I have your tea, babes.

Thank you.

I have been married
for 18 years to my husband, Qais.

And we have two beautiful children,
Zoreina and my son, Zenith.

Qais is a family attorney.

Apparently, he's pro bono.

Nobody wants to pay for services
because... it's big brother.

Right now, Qais is handling
Shakur and Josh's divorce,

or... their non-divorce,

because they're not going through with it.

What are you working on?

- Doin' a little research
on one of the cases.

- God, I hope it's not
one of my family cases.

- This one isn't.

- How are things going with Shuk?

- There's a lot goin' on with Shuk.

- I don't know what she shared with you,
I don't know how much she said,

but...
- I know she's lookin' to reconcile

with Josh and dismiss the divorce.

- Yeah, I-I don't get it.

I mean, I need to have a talk
with her because, honestly,

to be so adamant about filing it,
and doing it immediately,

and being done with it,
and having the strength and the courage

to now, all of a sudden,
walk back and say,

"I wanna give the second chance."

I-I need to know what the hell
happened in the middle.

I need to know...
- Yeah, she did a complete 180, you know,

from going to, you know,
wanting to file right away,

goin', goin' after him...

- Yeah.
- Being so mad at him, and...

- I-I don't agree with it.

As an older brother to her,
you need to tell her that she can't.

- Well, it's... I'm a little conflicted

because, professionally,
I gotta do what she tells me.

- He literally broke everybody's hearts.

And how do I know,
if God forbid something happens again,

she's not gonna spiral downward again.

She didn't eat, she didn't sleep.

I mean, her spirit...
- Yep.

- everything.
She was just depleted.

- I know.

I can't have her
go through that again.

There's a lot to discuss
at this dinner coming up,

but I'm most concerned
about what Josh is going to say,

and how he's going to atone
for the things that he said and did.

Everything is going to feel off
until we can get that clarity.

You broke my little sister's heart.

Nobody can trust you.

How are you gonna pr...
How are you gonna prove yourself?

I need an explanation. I need clarity.

- Good boy, all right.
You're a strappin' young lad.

There's no way.

- Is vegan.
- The baingan bharta.

No, I'm seriously happy with the way

that comin' out,
so you're all set.

- I'mma take these off.

- It's kinda hot?
- My God.

- It's not this hot in the bay, is it?
- No.

- Do I look
really sweaty on camera?

- No, you look glowing.
- Are you sure?

- Yeah.

- Can I see the...
Can you flip your thing so I can see?

- Hot.
- Okay. Cool.

- Dude, this tit sweat is insane.
- It's real. Girl, you and me both.

So, Amy, I met her through Siddiqa.

I've known Amy for several months now.
Super cool chick.

Really nice.

And she's experienced
with both men and women,

and I just feel very comfortable
talking to her about my feelings.

Just crazy how it's, like,
I met you through Siddiqa,

and now we're hangin' out
without her, but it's like, it's nice.

- Yeah.

- Siddiqa has no idea.

I don't like the secrecy,
but I just feel like this is something

that I need to explore on my own
and know for sure

before I go and say something
to any of my siblings.

- Amy's super t... She's super cool.

- Stop!

I know but, my God.

Okay.

- Yes, I have a crush on Amy.

- Yeah, sometimes it is.

- Because this is
gonna be live television.

This is just something
that I haven't shared with anyone,

and it's because...

I don't know why.
I just feel like I'm...

I feel like I'm just committing
such a sinful thing,

just because, like,
it's not acceptable in the culture.

That's it. Next question.

- Like, I know that you and I
have talked a little bit before

about having these feelings.

Have you always felt this way?

- No, I never had these feelings before.

I just wanted to see, like,
can I feel it differently with a female?

- Yeah.
- And I don't even know
the answers to that yet.

Like, I'm just barely getting...
- Yeah.

- like, my tippy-toes wet,

you know? I'm just...
- Yeah.

- Like a little journey.
You're just helping me get...

Go down this journey with me.
- Yeah.

- You know? And I feel like you're
the perfect person to do it with.

- Maybe this is a new chapter for you
to just, kind of, explore yourself,

find out what kind of
sexual person you are.

That should be fun.

- Are you giggling because you're nervous

or giggling because you're excited?
- Um, 'cause I'm nervous.

There's all... With those older sisters,

there's, like, a certain line
of respect that I will never cross.

There's certain things
I won't do in front of them,

I don't share.

It's just such taboo to even, like,

speak about it.
- Yeah.

I mean, you know I was in Afghanistan
for the end of my last deployment.

- Yeah, so, and that's why, like,
I know you know a lot of the culture,

and understand, like, the taboo of it.

- Yeah.
- And I feel like that's why it would be

so hard to even, like,

bring something like this up to anybody.
- Yeah.

- And even though my sisters are
very westernized and open-minded,

there's a lot of my sisters that aren't.

So I don't know how they would react,
to be honest, you know?

- If you find that this is
who you really are,

don't live a double life, you know?

Be true to who Hamida is.
- Sure.

Yeah, that's all easier said than done.

I feel like I'm hiding
something so big.

It, it truly is a weight on my shoulder,

but I just feel like they're
not really ready to hear it.

- Living two lives is hard.

- One step at a time.
- Yeah.

Khadish.

- Listen, so then you bring
the two corners together,

and when it's too much you'll know

because it won't come together.

So you're just making it up?

- So, like this, see?
- Wait.

Make it look like a little present.

You guys, I remember making this with Mom.

- I'm really looking forward
to eating mantu tonight

because it feels like home when I eat it.

I just feel so warm
and happy and fuzzy inside.

But I'm not the best cook
and my sisters know it.

I have to wrap both the sides
like a flower or just one?

- What the hell is that?

Wh...

- I know... I've learned how to make, um...

What'd I say?

I mean, my go-to, hands down,
is noodles.

- Hey, guys.
- Hi!

- What is that?

- That's her version of mantu.
- My God.

- That...
- You know you gotta look at it

before ya eat it, right?

- Let me show you how to do it.
- Let him do it.

I swear if it doesn't look like
it came out of Santa's little bag.

He's going in speed mode.

'Cause you gotta do a lot of 'em,

so you gotta go faster.

- We have nails.
- No, no, no.

But look at how good he does it.

Khadija, you had
us wrap the wrong end.

- Okay, this is Qais's.
- This one's mine.

Wait, who did this atrociousness?

Not me.

All right, I'll leave it to you guys.

- You just came and shamed us all.

- Do you have gloves
'cause this is gonna dye my nails

and I got a French manicure.

My God, 'cause the cumin?

- Babe, it's turmeric.
I thought you knew how to cook.

- She doesn't cook foreign food.
- Foreign food?

- That's what she calls it.
- I know how to cook it.

I just don't use my hands.
- What do you use, your feet?

No.

I wanna know why your top is so low.

I can see your right now.

Like, really? It's down to here!

And then you have
the nerve to have a slit?!

What, is it going to your naval?

Means "eyes."

But I'm talking about
Siddiqua's lower eyes.

The eyes that are catching
my attention right now

that are on her breasts.

Put a bra on.

I hate it.

Your lucky Mom isn't here.
That's embarrassing.

- Look at Noor's.
Hers are, like, pokin' out, too.

- And you have holes in your jeans!

- It's not that bad, guys.

But do you know
how close that is to your va-jay-jay?

- I can see your pelvic bone.
You wear that in public?!

- Okay, guys, fine.
I'll put the pocket back down.

- Listen, I told you guys
I don't like it when you dress like this,

especially around my house.
- Okay, Khadija, would you like

me to borrow your robe?

Whenever I'm spending
this much time with family,

things can definitely
get a little intense.

Hi.

- Hi.

Can you bring something
with you when you come please?

- So it's nice to have a drink
to take the edge off,

or, like, two, or three, or four.

Put it in a bag and hide it,

so that way we can sneak it
around the back of the kitchen.

Khadija doesn't have
any alcohol at the house,

so I literally have to sneak it in.

But nothing that smells
too strong, like whiskey.

Made that mistake before.

- Hey, girl!
- Hi!

- Hi!
- I brought what you ordered.

I brought what you ordered.
Go put this in the back, though.

- I love your hair!
- Thank you.

- It looks gorg.
- Thank you.

I always look forward
to spending time with my sisters,

especially if it's over having some food.

But I did tell J to come
a little bit after me

because I wanted to kind of assess
and gauge my sisters' temperature,

so that they're in a good place,

and that they really give him
an honest-to-goodness second chance.

Okay, can you hide this somewhere?

Hide it.
- Put some more.

We were doing
this red cup thing for a while,

but I think that was
a little bit too obvious.

So, we moved on to coffee mugs.

When we go to Khadija's,
it's kinda like a drinking game.

- You don't think Khadija's gonna
know you guys are drinking vino

out of a big-a*s coffee mug? Come on.
- Not if I drink it all first.

- You're such a wino, Noor.

You guys look so sus.

- I am gonna carry this out to them.

See what's goin' on out there.
Do you wanna help me?

- We just bought some snacks.
- Hello there.

Shaista just called me right now,

and she said,
"When are you gonna be done?

Because I closed the restaurant."

- Our oldest sister, Shaista,
has a restaurant,

and it's called Gul Naz Cuisine.

"Gul" is my mother's first name
and "Naz" means love.

And so, Shaista created this restaurant
out of love for our mother.

I am so proud of Shaista.

I mean, she was a refugee
who couldn't speak English,

came to America when she was 12.

When she was 16,
she graduated high school.

When she was 19,
she graduated college,

and then starting
her own restaurant business.

These are all things that Shaista
would never have been able to do

had she stayed in Afghanistan
when the Soviets invaded.

Khadija, how's the restaurant going?

- It's miserable. So, without me,
literally they're not able to open it.

And they closed indoor dining
because I'm not there.

We need you all to pitch in more
at Shaista's restaurant.

You need to help out.
- I have, Khadija.

The only person who
hasn't helped out is Noor.

Facts.
- Can you bring my coffee from inside?

- Yeah, I'll-I'll bring it.
- Thanks.

- Noor needs to step up. Because why?

There's too much going on.
- I don't have that luxury.

- Noor, but you're
with your boyfriend on the weekends.

- I'm not gonna sit here

and be made to feel guilty. I'm sorry.
- He has children. It's not about guilt.

- Don't guilt-trip me
and make me feel like a bad sister.

- You haven't gone.
- I don't care.

I haven't once told anyone,

"You guys need to do X, Y, and Z."

- We have to help our older sister.
- Don't talk over me.

I don't have expectations of any of you,
so don't have any of me.

Very simple.

- Take the coffee cup from her.
- Yeah, please.

- No, cause nothing.
- Nothing.

It's just too much, too much caffeine.

- Nooreya. It is a "have to."

- I have priorities.

- Recently, Noor has become selfish

with her time
because she has a new boyfriend.

But you can't just
forget about your family.

- Khadija's not asking.

She's telling you
we need to pull together.
- It's a demand.

- My sisters are already in the mood
of, like, tearing someone apart,

like some carnivores.

So, I'm like, should I call J
and tell him that he shouldn't show up

'cause I feel like he's gonna be
the next sacrificial lamb.

You don't wanna contribute?
Is that what you're saying?

- I've spoken with Shaista,

and I told her
I'll contribute in ways that I can.

That's between her and I.
None of your business.

Yeah.

- How are you feeling about everything?

- I'm feeling physically okay.

I mean, I'm a little nauseous
and stuff from here and there.

- Were you thinking about saying anything?

- Hell no, girl. Crazy?

Amongst all this?

I think what I'm most concerned about

Jamila and her situation is

the rift it's gonna cause
between her and the elder sisters.

I fear that it's gonna
come down to sisters taking sides.

- This looks so delicious.

- Who prepared this meal?
- We have some yummy mantu

- that the girls and I made earlier.
- And it looks delicious.

- Khadija, you made the palak?
- Yes.

It looks so amazing delicious.

To me, it's very
important for us to gather

because I want us
to be able to keep our bond tight,

and sometimes,
being the oldest of the bunch,

I'm constantly worrying
about the wolf pack.

I'm happy that we're all here together.

- I feel like we're just so much more
powerful when we are together.

- Maybe if I wasn't working
at the restaurant 24/7.

- God, here we go again.
- Yeah, see?

- So, who's gonna fast for Ramadan?

- We all fast every year.

- I used to do all full 20 prayers.

- I remember.
Jamila used to wear a hijab.

I used to wear a head scarf.

That was when you were 19.
That was, like, eons ago.

- But you know what? It's okay.
It still shaped me to who I am today.

Ramadan is the ninth month
of the Islamic calendar,

and it's a holy month
where we fast, pray,

join in community,
give thanks, and just reflect.

I mean, I don't have to be
praying five times a day

to show that I'm a good Muslim.

- They're called Ramadan Muslims.
- But, yeah, exactly.

- Listen, I would rather you be
a Ramadan Muslim

than, than not practice any religion.

Do you find any things
in the religion outdated or kinda sexist?

- I don't.
I don't question what's been written.

- Do you think that
the people that you date

influence whether or not
you're a better Muslim or not?

100%.

- Who's in a relationship right now
that they can be swayed by?

Who's in a relationship period?

Let's get the juicy gossip.
Who's dating who?

- I'm dating a couple of people right now.

What?!

- She's like "a couple,"
- I am. I'm havin' a good time.

It's very kosher.

- So, there's two of them?

- Actually, three.
- sh*t.

Bravo, Sid. Bravo.

- Noo Noo,
let's talk about your love life.

- Um, I have a paramour
who I've been with for seven months.

- Six.
- Seven.

- Have you guys talked
about, like, marriage or anything?

- We have.
- You have?

- Okay... um... so... he has
asked me to move in with him.

No, no, no!

No.

I don't know what she sees in him.

She spends every waking moment with him.

I just want my Noo Noo back. That's it.

- Have you talked about kids?
- Yes, we have.

- My God.
- Gosh.

- Wow.
- Don't worry 'bout that.

We said we will reconvene at a later time.
- So, don't do it.

- Little do they know,
that I already decided to move in

with my boyfriend...
whether they like it or not.

Hey, Jamila, your turn, your turn.

- It's extremely hard
to keep things from my sisters,

but is this the right time
to say something?

I am...
- I'm actually seeing a girl, you guys.

God.

Jamila, your turn, your turn.

- I am...
- I'm actually seeing a girl, you guys.

God.

- No, you're not. Shut the front door.

- She's lying.
- You are full of sh*t.

- No, I am.

- My God.
- Hamida just took a b*llet for me.

I am so grateful and proud of her
for coming out in her truth.

But I think this is
a big shock to the elders right now.

- You're dating a girl?
- We're just hangin' out.

- What does that mean?
- What does that... Yeah.

- Has she tried to kiss you?
- Yeah.

- Have you kissed her back?
- I have kissed her, yes.

So, are you saying
that you're kind of exploring?

- I am exploring, yeah.
- So, you're bi-curious?

- I'm curious, yeah.

- Whatever it is, get it outta your head.

- Well, Khadija,
it's not up to you, my dear.

- But I know Hamida.

- Do you, though?

- She just told you
she's talking to a girl,

and this is your responses.

- 'Cause Hamida gets bored.
She makes people enamored by her,

and as soon as they get close,
and she's succeeded,

on to the next.
- Maybe men never worked for her.

Maybe with a woman, it'll be different.

I think there's things in my culture
that can be very archaic.

Especially, when it comes
to views about h*m*.

Who am I? Who is anyone
to say who you can and can't love?

- We're just confused 'cause we've
never heard this come outta her mouth.

There's nothing wrong with anything.
Whoever you wanna love, love.

You have one life to live.
Live it to the fullest.

We're just a bit perplexed
that it's coming outta your mouth

because this is the first time
we've ever heard...

Don't say "we're."
Refer to you and Khadija.

- Okay. Khadija and I are a bit alarmed

because it's like we've never even
heard you mutter words or that...

- Obviously, 'cause I don't
want this type of reaction.

I'm opening my horizons to new things.

- Like, it's not, there's no guys

that I'm into like that...
- There's nothing to meet.

- but you know what,
sometimes you feel comfort

in a girl.

- All right, I think we
should just stop it right there.

Hey, Josh.
Should we get him a chair?

Have a seat.

Any who-da-lee-doodly.
What's up with Khadija?

Well, y'all know my situation.

So, Shuk, what you got?

Since Josh and I
have been back together,

all you guys seem to be tiptoeing
and walkin' around on eggshells,

just out with it.

Say what you gotta say.

- Josh... I have never seen my sister
in such a dark place... Never.

- You put her through some sh*t, bro.

You did, man. You hurt her.

- I haven't seen my sister... smile,

or laugh... or be happy

since everything went down with you guys

because I know she gave her...

She gave you her everything, dude.

You crushed her...
and you crushed her spirit.

And you crushed her faith... and love.

And it was selfish.

Your trust has to be earned

because there's no guarantee that
she won't fall back to your dark place.

And I don't want you to hurt her.

If she falls, she won't get back up again.

To see my sisters
have my back like this,

obviously, it is very comforting.

I explained to him...
how much he'd put me through,

but to actually have him
hear it outta their mouths,

'cause, you know, he realized,

"Dang, not only did I destroy her,
but I destroyed all of them."

No, I know.

That's what, honestly,
I wanted to tell you guys.

Like, I made horrible mistakes.

And all I can do is, like...

I just pray that you guys can, one day,

you know, I can earn
your trust and your respect back.

I just wanna tell you guys
that, honestly, you have

the most beautiful, most forgiving sister.

I'm debted to her for my life.

Like, I wouldn't be here today
if it wasn't for her.

I was in such a dark, horrible place.

Like, she saved my life.

Are you guys in therapy right now?

- I mean, we, we, we... I do.
Yeah, I do therapy,

and he does when he needs to.
- Are you guys doing couples therapy?

- No, but we're gonna visit that.
- Okay.

- We're definitely getting counseling.
- Okay.

If you guys are gonna work it through
and really make it work,

then, like, really put every effort
into making it work, you know?

This is not, like, a get together,
come back into the family's life,

have the family come back
and love you again,

and embrace you again
just to be hurt again.

That's not what it's about, right?

'Cause now, it's, like, it's not just
your core, it's, like, everyone, right?

We care for Josh,
we want the best for him.

And, you know, Josh has a lot to work on,

but he's got an entire village behind him.

He's got the Sozahdah sisters.

We're loyal, and we are going
to make sure that he gets through this.

It's very easy to walk away.

The hardest thing to do
is to try to work through your sh*t.

Nobody wants to do that anymore.

So, kudos to you two for doing that.

Let's just focus on you guys building

- each other up from here on out, right?
- That's it. Just be there.

Cheers to family.

Family. Familia.

- Together, we're most powerful.
- Stronger together.

- Welcome back, Josh... Joshua.

- Hearing that Josh wants to earn
our trust back gives me hope.

It's not gonna be easy
but... he's willing to try,

so I'm willing to give him a chance.

Hey! Hello. Welcome.

- Going hula hooping
with Hamida and Nooreya is

my attempt at reconnecting with them.

We used to be a lot closer
than I think we are now.

Instead of being
the triplets and the trifecta,

it's now become this strong pair,

and I'm like... I wanna just, like,
and come right in the middle.

- You'll give it a good,
strong push with the arms,

then slowly move
from right to left. Yeah!

- Okay, almost.
- Hey, I'm...

- Go into a squat.

You did it.

Get bruises on your knees.
Usually that's for something else.

And you want me to twerk?

But could you get behind you
and I can get a slap.

- I can get a slap in. Can get a slap in.
- Look, I'm still going, guys!

- I know why Nooreya can go longer
'cause she's the only one gettin' some.

- That's right.
- I work these hips regularly, girl.

So, that was kind of
difficult for me.

Not as much for you guys.
- Yeah, I think I was the best.

Well, she gets the most
private exercise.

- Okay, Miss "I'm dating three guys."

I'm sure you get
plenty of exercise, honey.

- Who's to say, who's to say?
- Yeah, yeah. I think we're overdue

- for another grandkid in the family.
- We are.

- I think so.
- Maybe it'll be me.

Really?

My gosh, Siddiqa.

- After you decide between the three.
- Never know.

- Sperm donor...
or one of the men you're dating?

- Who knows? I don't know.
That's a whole 'nother story, guys.

God.

- To be a single mother
from a sperm donor

is unheard of in our culture,

but I wouldn't really give a.

I would definitely have
a baby without a man.

I'll see a woman at the hospital,
and she'll be leaving...

You know, she has a baby bump,
and I see her with children.

I'm like,
"My God, I want that so bad."

You know, I'm in my early 30s now,

but I'm not too far from my mid-30s,

and this is something
I-I kinda need to think about now.

- Meanwhile, you're over here having
a whole other relationship with a woman.

- I don't think it's a relationship.

- It's a situationship.
- I don't even,

I don't even know what it is, honestly.
- Like, what's going on?

She's cool. I don't know.
We just get each other, and...

- So are you physically attracted to her?
- Yeah, she's pretty.

Have you slept together?

- Are you serious, Nooreya?
- Yeah.

Um, we do stuff.

You know, this is so very new for me,

so I'm still tryna get
myself to, you know...

What the?

There's no judgment here.

You don't have to feel
any kind of way about it, babe.

Kudos to you for being open about it.

I know it takes a lot
to be able to say that.

I know we're just so...
Raised so, like, conservatively,

and deeply embedded in the culture
that it's got, like, a taboo.

It's exactly...
I didn't wanna get the reaction.

Like, Khadija, her face,
you should've seen it.

She was... Like, it wasn't even believable.

- Yeah.
- Like, she thought I was joking,

where then I was like, "Well, sh*t.

Should I take it back
and act like it's a joke?"

I wish I didn't say anything.

I'm hurt that I hurt my sister.

I have the most utmost respect for her.

And the fact that...
she reacted the way she did,

she just kinda... her face just dropped.

It hurt my soul.

And then, that kinda made me feel
like I'm flawed because I feel this way.

- So, I feel like, look.
Mom actually called me today.

I didn't tell her anything about
the whole exploring women thing.

- I don't know how...
- How she's gonna feel about that.

- Me either.
- So, you guys can't say

anything about that.

Sure loose lips doesn't say anything.
- No.

'Cause we know how,
how you can be sometimes.

- I never tell mom anything
about anyone's business.

- I feel like I've been burned
by Sid in the past,

where I have told her
information in privacy,

and it's been repeated back to me

by another sister
that I did not share it with.

So, I wanna be close to Siddiqa again,

but if she can't own up to it
and take accountability,

then how can I trust her moving forward?

- That's your secret to tell.
I'm not saying sh*t to mom about that.

I loathe the name "loose lips."

They kinda say it towards me in
kind of like a hater mode.

Like, "Well, you're not one of us now.

"You're not part of the trifecta,
so you must be 'loose lips.'

"You might tell
the older sisters what we're doing,

so we're not gonna share
with you our secrets."

Rabya was a little, like...
Wh... Did she know about it?

- No one knew about it.
- Okay.

- I didn't even know about it

and we're best friends.
- Yeah.

- Well, you've also haven't
said everything to me...

You have a new best friend, Nooreya.

- You never told me
that he asked you to move in.

Like, why would you hide that from me?

I feel hurt that Nooreya
couldn't trust me

to tell me that she was gonna
move in with her boyfriend.

It's a big deal.
Like, I feel like I'm losing her.

Can't take my best friend away.

- Your partner in crime is gone.
- I know.

- Nooreya, you are really MIA.

- When you are in a relationship and you
find someone that you wanna be with,

and spend that much time with,
it's very normal to want to...

- But he's so boring sometimes.
We're so used to being
around each other.

- He's so boring, I swear.
I see and I'm like...
I like that.

- I don't know how you wanna
spend that much time with him.

'Cause I'm like...
You have to hide certain stuff from you.

- I...
- Like, you can't be a little...

Your a little, crazy self,
like you usually are.

Nooreya, you're not the same.
You can't be your full self.
- You can't... You're not the same.

- I think you're on your tippy-toes.
- You are. Nooreya, come on.

You guys are just very up and down.

It's kinda like,
"Well, maybe in a few weeks

"they're gonna get in another fight,
and all of a sudden,

"I'll have Noor back again
for a week in my life,

and we're gonna be good." You know?

- I think you're so used
to being single for so long

that you forget what it's like
to actually be in a healthy

and productive working relationship.
- I don't think that's healthy, Nooreya.

- I think that him and I are
in a very good place, actually.

- At the moment.
- The best place we've ever been in.

- I think it's perspective
and relative of what healthy is.

- I think that you don't know
what a healthy relationship is,

let's be honest.

. Wow.

- But also, I can say the same.
- When's the last healthy

relationship you had?
- When's the last one you had?

- I'm embarrassed and kind of
ashamed to admit the truth to them.

It's tough to have somebody
tell you something that you yourself

don't want to see.

My sisters are right.

I have been acting
a bit differently lately,

but they have no idea
what's going on in my relationship.

Like, no idea.

The truth is us moving in
together is his idea,

and I think it might be
the only way to save what we have.

Next time on
Secrets and Sisterhood...

- Unbeknownst to me
you were even pregnant.

- And right now, I'm still
processing the whole situation.

- That was very irresponsible.

- This is not a lesson learned, Shakur.
Come on. Are you serious?

- He started a fight with me
in Mexico at my work conference.

- We gotta get rid of him.

- They're having
the birthday party for Noor.

I don't know how I feel about going.
There's a whole Rabya debacle.

Rabya's bringin' up the whole show.

She's like, I'm gonna go run
and tell everyone how up you are.

The crazy thing is
I wanted to highlight our culture,

share our story.

So, it's total bullshit
she would throw this in my face

when all I wanted
was to make us even closer.

- I'm your older sister
and I deserved to be respected.

She said some
really up things to me,

like it was her show
and that she can get me kicked off of it.

Shakur, what you did was wrong.

- But why did you come at me like that?!
- Don't ever come at me.

I didn't, I didn't come at you!

- You started it and I finished it,
just like I usually do.

- You can kiss my a*s!