01x05 - Trust No One

[bunniefuu]

♪

[speaker]
How do I feel about Thanksgiving?

Thanksgiving is very messy
when it comes to my family.

Mom's side of the family is always messy.
Messy, messy, messy.

There's always a judgy aunt.
There's my grandmother,

who's asking me
when am I gonna have some kids,

when am I gonna have a boyfriend.

I have a boyfriend,
but she doesn't know that.

We get drunk.
You know, we hug, we cry.

So it, it's a nice balance.

You get the messiness
and the calmness. Comes together.

[plane roaring]

[♪ "You Name It! [#UNameItChallenge]"
by DJ Suede the Remix God playing]

♪

♪ I got beans, greens,
potatoes, tomatoes ♪

♪ Lamb, rams, hogs, dogs ♪

♪ Beans, greens, potatoes, tomatoes ♪

♪ Chickens, turkeys ♪

♪ You name it! ♪

- It's right up there. It's right up there!
- [thuds]

Leave him! Leave him on the ground!

[father]
Listen to your mother!

♪ Chicken, turkeys ♪

- ♪ Beans, greens, potatoes, tomatoes ♪
- [laughing]

♪ Lamb, rams... ♪

What do you mean there's
no monthly O Magazine anymore?!

It's quarterly, ma'am.

♪ Beans, greens, potatoes, tomatoes ♪

What is taking so long?
I'm gonna miss my flight!

- Be thankful I'm even here.
- Be thankful I'm here!

Get out.

- ♪ You name it! ♪
- [laughs]

I said you had to make a reservation!
Ma'am! You aren't...

- Nobody's in the cart!
- [Patti] I... Ma'am!

♪

♪ DJ Suede the Remix God! ♪

[echoes]
♪ God ♪

[♪ song fades out]

[phone buzzes]

[children playing, shouting]

[sighs]

[Sarah Jackson]
Are you done, honey?

[flushes toilet]

Yep! Yep, coming out.

- [Sarah] Did you light a match?
- I did the spray.

Wait, hold on.
You know what time it is, babe?

I don't.

Babe, we gotta hustle.
My mom is gonna be here.

Come on now. Did you get the sides?

I doctored them
within an inch of their lives.

They'll never know it was Boston Market.

I cannot believe I'm sitting up here,
trying to serve my mama

steam table sweet potatoes.
She gon' know.

[laughs] Yeah,
for an emergency Thanksgiving.

She broke her foot.
Should just be happy you stepped up.

Yeah 'cause I'm the only one with a house
and the money to pay for it all.

- You seen my watch?
- [sighs] No.

- Where's my watch?
- Are you gonna talk to Mel?

No. No, it's, uh, it's not the right time.

She stole your social, Brian.

You need to talk to her.

And I said it's not gonna happen today, alright?

'Cause all I want today
is a happy Thanksgiving,

and in order to have a happy Thanksgiving,

I gotta have a happy mom.

And my mom is not going to be happy

- if I'm screaming at her daughter.
- Okay.

Talking about, "Hey, where's my money
that I think you stole" over the turkey.

- Okay, alright! Alright.
- Is that what you want?

- Are you on my team?
- Yes!

- Hey... Ooh! [exhales] g*dd*mn it.
- I'm sorry. Dragon breathing.

- Hey, hey.
- Okay, okay, I'm breathing.

- [deep breathing]
- Deep breaths.

Good. It's working, see?

You've been more in control
of your anxiety lately.

- That's good. It's okay.
- [deep breathing]

- [footsteps thumping]
- [kids shrieking]

[sighs]
Shayna's running around too much.

She's gonna sweat out her hair.

Hey, guys!
Your grandma's gonna be here.

♪ Yeah, hey ♪

♪ I came to win, no second place ♪

♪ One chance to advance, no second takes ♪

♪ The clock's ticking... ♪

I'm sorry, but could you turn on the AC?

I know it's winter,
but my body does not know it. [laughs]

Today, my family's gonna meet
the new me for the first time,

and they are a tough crowd.

My mother's love language is criticism,

and my brother likes to jack off
to my failures, but... [laughs]

new Mel is gonna show off.

[laughs]
You know, she's gonna be like,

blazer, bam!

[muttering]

Blazer. [giggles] Blow out.

And then, I'm gonna hit them with the, uh,

"My career is advancing exceedingly."

- And then, with the little...
- Can we make this a quiet ride?

Mm-hmm. Yep.

[softly]
It's a luxury vacation to Hawaii.

[weak laugh]

- [kids yelling]
- Bet you can't catch me!

- Hey! Take it outside.
- [Shayna Jackson] Yeah!

- [♪ soft hip-hop music playing]
- [door slams]

- [clattering]
- [♪ music stops]

[Nathan Jackson]
Ooh...

- Pick it up!
- You pick it up!

Nope, I was wrong. Bring it inside.

- [Nathan] It wasn't my fault, Dad!
- [Shayna] Come on.

It's not my fault either!

Okay. Alright.

I'm sorry, super sorry.

Guys, uh, it's okay.

Don't worry about it.
Nothing got broken.

Now, you two are lucky, though,
there was no hot oil in that thing,

or you would be spicy chicken nuggets.

- Alright, guys? Go on upstairs...
- Dad, can I have a hug first?

Yes, you can have a hug. Come here...

- [gasps]
- [turkey clatters]

[stifled groaning]

Okay, it's okay. No, it's cool, it's good.

- I'm telling Mom.
- No, no, there's no reason to tell Mom!

Why would you tell Mom?
It's cool. See? Boom.

Look at this. No harm, no fowl.

You didn't even catch that pun, did you?
[laughs] We gon' wash it off.

We gon' use Mom's
five-second rule, easy.

I thought you said Black people don't do
the five-second rule.

I said that?
That don't even sound like me.

Okay, guys, jackets off.

- Wash your hands.
- [sighs]

- Okay, what can I do to help?
- I'm good. I got it under control.

Actually... propane. You bought it, right?

♪

I'll get my keys.

- [groans]
- No, no, no. I can fix this.

- It's not a big deal.
- [doorbell rings]

Yep, I will, uh, [sniffs]
take care of that, too.

sh*t...

[deep breathing]

Hey! Come on now!
Looks like the party has arrived!

- Oh! My baby!
- [laughs]

- [laughs] Help me inside.
- Hey, Mama! Come on in here.

- [kiss] You look great! Look at you!
- Thank you!

Oh, looking like a Republican party.

Wait a second, hold up, hold up, hold up.
Why you gotta show up like that?

- Oh, my goodness!
- Well, you know I like to be different.

You know, this 22-year-old come up
to me and say, "Where you get that at?"

Said, "I ain't gonna tell you
all my secrets!"

- [Brian/Beverly laugh]
- Is a mall kiosk a secret?

[sucks teeth]

Ladies, hello?

- Hi, Sarah!
- [Sarah] How are you?

You look tired.

Right this way, come on in.
Have a seat. Please, please.

- I'll take that for you.
- Oh, you know what?

Thank you so much for doing all of this!

- Ooh... [laughs]
- [Brian Jackson] Alright, alright.

You know I am blessed to have a son

who will pick me up
when I fall! Hallelujah!

- [Vanessa] I'm telling you. She...
- Happy to do it. That's my job.

She is feeling really sad
about not hosting this year.

- Mama.
- Sad? That's your word.

- No, it was not my word.
- My word was blessed.

Ooh, it is way too early for church,
Mama. Please.

Oh! You know, I just can't sit here
and do nothing!

Is there something that I could do
in the kitchen?

I got some Lawry's

and I got some sazón in my bag.

And some salt for Sarah.

- [both laugh]
- [Brian] Now, you know no amount of tips

is gonna keep us from
missing your cooking.

- Now, come on.
- [Beverly] Oh, God knows

that I have never sat down
on Thanksgiving.

- Ooh! If I believed in depression...
- Mama.

Relax, please. And just...

enjoy being treated
like the queen you are.

- I ain't no queen! No!
- Yes, you are. Well,

then you better stop looking like one.
Come on, you got on a diamond boot.

- Your hair is very regal.
- Is it?

I love the earrings.
I mean, the whole thing.

You couldn't tell that this was a wig?

That's a wig?

- See what I'm sayin'?
- That's not no wig.

You better stop playin' with me!
Talkin' about a wig!

Talkin' about a wig!
Y'all want some coffee?

- Yes, please.
- Put somethin' else in mine.

- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, I love that boy.

- A little brown liquor in mine.
- Mm-mm.

[♪ upbeat music playing]

[lid clangs]

[phone buzzes]

[phone buzzes]

[♪ soulful music playing]

[Melissa Jackson]
Thank you.

[phone buzzes]

[exhales]

[phone buzzes]

[♪ music stops]

[scoffs]

Melissa! Wow. You look great.

[weak laugh]

Uh, is everything okay?

Yeah, I just thought I left
the whipped cream in the car. [laughs]

Happy Turkey Day!

- Happy Turkey Day! Come on in. [laughs]
- Okay.

Brian! Kids! Auntie Mel's here.

- Hey, Auntie Mel.
- [gasps] Hi! Look who it is!

Hi, guys! Oh, you're getting so big.
Let me see you.

- What's that?
- We made this in class.

It's for the person
we're most grateful for.

Oh, a little plant.

"The world's best auntie." Thank you!

Well, you know what?
I got you a little something, too.

Gifts not from the airport?

Yep. They're not from the airport.

- Okay!
- [Brian] Oh, it's for me? Okay.

Alright, take those up, guys.
Ah, so good to see you, sis.

It's been too long!
Come on, make yourself at home. [laughs]

[Beverly] [sing-songy]
♪ Melissa! ♪

- [sighs]
- ♪ Come in here and see your mother ♪

[Melissa] [sing-songy]
♪ Coming! ♪

Do you smell anything
that smells like food cooking?

- Mm-mm.
- I got two words. Boston Market.

Mom, hey!

- Sit right here, baby. Tuchus right here.
- Here!

- [Melissa] Okay, alright.
- You look brand new in that blazer.

Oh, thank you. You know,
I'm just trying to switch it up,

- now that I'm advancing in my career.
- Oh!

I didn't even know that
Rainbow sold blazers.

Did you go down to the Dominicans?

Yeah, I-I did actually.
I-I did, last night.

- Pretty.
- Yeah, you always had a tough scalp.

- Yep. [awkward laugh] Right...
- Like a cast iron pan.

What, they making you dress up
and drive them little carts now?

Actually, I'm happy to report

- that I got into a management program.
- Oh!

Girl, I almost thought you said
you got into a man. [laughs]

- Hilarious.
- Everybody, my baby's gonna be

- the CEO of JFK!
- Yeah!

It's a... It's a program,
a-and I'm actually feel really...

Where are your earrings?

Forgot... Uh, must've forgot them. Um...

I'm going to Hawaii next month. [laughs]

- Hawaii? Good for you!
- Yep. That's right.

Oh. Is your friend Rorand taking you?

- That's her rich g*y friend.
- Uh, Rory, no, he's not.

- I saved up, and I'm taking myself, so...
- [Vanessa] Oh.

- Ain't you fancy?
- Um...

[Beverly]
Good thing you going in December.

Why?

[Beverly] 'Cause then this way,
you ain't gotta have your arms out.

I'ma go see if Brian
needs some help. Brian!

Your mother is on one.

- A luxury vacay to Hawaii.
- [Melissa scoffs]

- Mm.
- [container flopping]

Where'd that money come from?

How about you don't question
how I spend my money,

and I don't question
how you spend your time?

What's that supposed to mean?

[deep inhale, clicks tongue]

[deep exhale]

Okay, Chakra Khan,
you a meditation girly now?

No, no, just... [deep inhale]

Sarah taught me an exercise
to keep me from going off.

[deep exhale]

[Melissa]
Well, that's cool.

My friend Terrance was in the military
and said that they did that sh*t, too.

[loudly]
What's that? You got a boyfriend?

[Beverly]
Melissa got a boyfriend?

- [mouthing]
- [quietly] Hahaha, don't f*ck with me.

♪

[loudly]
Oh, but wait, he's not a Christian?

Why he don't love Jesus?

♪

[Junebug]
Go easy now, easy now.

This bird ain't gonna save
your family from a grease fire now.

- [Brian] I think it is.
- [Junebug] Alright, we'll see.

We will see.
I think I did a great job on this.

I'm saying, then why you
call me over here, bro?

Ah, you know I ain't wanna
keep you from your family, man.

- What time y'all eating?
- Oh, we've been ate.

See, we did that overnight turkey.
Oh, man, you bugging.

Woke up, turkey brunch.

- Yeah?
- [laughs]

- sh*t, man, that sounds like paradise.
- [laughs]

[laughs] Yeah.

Come on, man. You know,
how's, uh, divorced life treating you?

Oh, n*gga, I'm living that
shared custody life, boy.

- Okay.
- Two weeks with my girls...

- Right, right, right.
- And two weeks for the streets, n*gga!

- There it is. Get it.
- Bah! Uh!

- [rhythmic grunting]
- Get it. Get it. Get it. Oh, my God.

- [laughs]
- Sounds like you having a good time

with them high-maintenance
aspiring sugar babies.

Yo, that's a stereotype, bruh.

All these girls wanna do is f*ck,

go to brunch, and take pics of food,
and that's it.

- Hmm.
- [sighs]

You know, I still do miss
the married life, though.

Yeah.

- Double income.
- Okay.

Chillin' on the couch watching Bar Rescue.

n*gga, farting freely.

- Huh? Bread that don't go old? You know?
- Well... Hmm.

Definitely beats having a standing
appointment at the STD clinic, huh?

[both laugh]

Gotta take care of that now.

[phone buzzes]

Mm...

Okay, good.

So, what we thinking?
About three, four hours on this bad boy?

- No, no, about 30, 40 minutes.
- What?

It's only a 10-pound bird.
You don't need that long.

[♪ upbeat music playing]

[Sarah]
Forks, knives... Oh, we need napkins.

[Brian]
There we go.

- I don't know.
- [Vanessa] I don't get it.

- Lord, look at them sweet potatoes.
- Are they sweet potatoes?

They might be giant carrots.
You never know what these people do.

[indistinct chatter]

Everybody!

[Sarah]
Nathan, time for dinner, baby.

[Beverly]
I don't know nothing about no pilgrims,

but I do know about Jesus.

- [sings] ♪ Jesus! ♪
- [sings] ♪ Jesus is... ♪

And Jesus teaches us to be thankful,

so who wants to start
the gratitude circle?

You know what? I will.

I wanna thank God for...

being alive.

- [coughs]
- Yes. Mm.

And for the miracle of flight.

You know, for my flight to Hawaii.

I'm thankful for, uh,
my fiscal responsibility,

which allowed me to be
a source of stability...

for my wife,

um, for my kids,

for my entire family.

Mm. That was beautiful.
Are you a poet?

[Vanessa] I am.

And I am grateful for...

every little thing.

Sun in the sky,

Toni Morrison,

- brown liquor.
- [mouthing]

- Hey! Yes. Come on.
- Come on now.

[clears throat]
U-Uh, w-well, I am grateful,

uh, for matriarchs.

Huh? Matriarchs with blonde or black hair

that like to teach young men
a little somethin' somethin'.

Lord have mercy.

[both laugh, chatter]

- Who's next? Who's next?
- I'm... Yeah.

I'm grateful for our children

- and for my wonderful husband.
- [Brian] Mm.

I'm grateful for any and all video games
I get for Christmas.

- [laughter]
- For m-my wonderful family

and TikTok.

Oh. Come on now. What?

- Family.
- [whispers] Family.

- Family is everything.
- [whispers] Everything.

- Amen.
- [Beverly] More than anything,

I am grateful for my son.

Alright. [laughs] I got carried away.

Alright, everybody,
we just gon' bow our heads

and bless this... this... this food.

Dear Heavenly Father!

Yes, we come before
your altar today, Lord,

thanking you for this food.

Bless all the hands that prepared it,

everyone at the Boston Market.

And, yes, I know it's a franchise,

but you are able, Father.
You can do all things.

You turned water into wine!
Yes, you did, Father.

- May the strength go to our soul...
- [softly] Jesus.

[Beverly]
...and Thy name shall have the praise.

Yes, and Father, please,
you told us to ask

and it shall be given unto You.

Seek and ye shall find.

Knock and the door shall be opened.

- And the walls came tumbling down...
- [♪ church organ playing]

And, Jesus, you are the King of Kings

- and the Lords of Lords.
- Lord of Lords!

[sings]
♪ You are the Alpha and Omega ♪

♪ You are the beginning and the end ♪

♪ You are from everlasting
to everlasting ♪

♪ I believe in the resurrection ♪

♪ And I just say we pray ♪

♪ In Your precious name ♪

- Let the church say amen.
- [Vanessa] Amen.

- Amen! Let's eat.
- Amen! Yay!

- [scattered amens]
- Amen.

- [football game on TV]
- [Sarah] Shayna!

Let's go find a calm activity.

- Aw...
- [indistinct chatter]

What's wrong, buddy?

Shayna made fun of me
because I was laughing,

- and then I farted.
- [snorts]

Then I got angry,
then I started screaming,

then I farted again.

- [snorts]
- [Melissa] You know what?

When I get angry, I fart, too, sometimes.

Did I ever tell you the story
about your dad and his baptism?

Mm-mm.

Well, when he got baptized,

every time they dunked him,
he farted under the water.

[laughter]

- Ooh, nasty.
- [Melissa] "Bloop, bloop."

Son, just so you know, it wasn't a fart.

And I don't know why you
the one telling the story

- 'cause you weren't born yet.
- [Melissa] Oh, why don't you chill?

Your days of carbonating
Jesus' Jacuzzi are over.

- Oh, is that what we doing? Okay.
- [laughter]

- You ain't gotta do that no more!
- Okay. Mama?

- [Beverly] Yes, baby?
- Do you remember when Mel thought

you had to eat baby corn
like it was regular corn?

- [laughs] I remember!
- [Brian] Church picnic, remember that?

Your daddy loves this story.

She had that little-bitty cob,

she put that up to her face,
and went to town.

- [imitating munching]
- [all laughing]

I was thinking, what is wrong with her?

What was wrong with me
was I was a child, Ma.

Nope! You were 14!

[Brian and Beverly imitating munching]

Brian, you should tell them
the story of Lion King.

Did your daddy ever tell you that story?

- [Beverly] Lion King?
- [Melissa] Oh, Junebug was there.

- [Vanessa] Were you there, Junebug?
- [Melissa] When we were in high school,

we got snowed in, and they took all
the students and moved us into the gym,

and they put on a movie. Lion King.

But you know, all of the teenagers
were doing what teenagers do.

But, not Brian.

Oh, no. He was watching...

and weeping.

Weeping is a strong word.
It's a strong word to use.

- [Melissa] Real alligator tears!
- I-I was affected a little bit.

He couldn't catch his breath! [gasping]

Alright, you need another coffee?
You good? You good? You good?

- Yeah, you were weeping though, brother.
- By the way, that's not how it happened.

[wailing]

You entitled to your own memories.
You entitled to 'em.

n*gga, you were weeping!

- Because that scene is moving as f*ck!
- [Nathan] Dad.

[Brian]
Sorry. Son, cover your ears!

Simba watching his father get m*rder*d
by his de facto uncle!

Come on! Mufasa trampled to death

by wildebeest in front of his son! I mean,

it's the single most emotionally
affecting death in cinematic history!

The Lion King is the crown jewel
of American animation!

- [panting]
- Is that why you never wanted to watch it?

You think it would be
too upsetting for the kids?

- [Brian] Sarah-bear...
- Mm, only kids with daddy issues.

You know what? [scoffs]

Hey, B, don't be like that.
We was just playin'.

[sighs] Now, you see what you did?
Y-You always go a step above.

- [laughing]
- Hm...

[♪ R&B music playing]

- Thank you.
- [Sarah] You're welcome.

[sighs] We survived.

- That we did. Barely.
- [glasses clink]

[Sarah chuckles]

- Go easy on him.
- Oh God...

- He's had a lot of stress at work and...
- You know,

if you wanna leave him, leave him.

[weak laugh]

Look, your issues with Brian
are your issues.

Not saying that I don't care
about how he talks to you.

The way he treats me,

that's who he is.

He is a good man. Come on.

- Your brother has a big heart.
- Hmm.

If you can't see it,
look at him with your niece and nephew.

So, he can treat them nice
and treat me like sh*t?

Okay. Let's just put a pin in this.

- It's not worth it.
- No.

Oh.

No, no, no. I'm good.

I'm not pregnant.

Thank f*ck.

[both laugh]

We are trying, though.

- What?
- Brian convinced me.

It's... It's exciting.

It's nerve-racking.

- [Shayna yells]
- [phone buzzes]

Hey, guys! Keep it down!

Anyway, we both know
he's such a family man, and...

- I'm losing you.
- [kids scream]

I gotta get that. I'll be right back.

Shayna! Nathan! No running inside!

[Brian] Somebody better take
all these greens home.

[Sarah]
Guys, that is enough.

- [puts down glass]
- [sighs]

[Sarah]
Come on, dinner's done, it's calm time.

[phone buzzes]

So, now you in here
fighting with the countertops?

You know, I just needed some space.

I couldn't stay in there
without breaking down.

But you did break down.

You broke down, you stormed off,
you kicked some stuff,

but all because of some
silly little stories?

She mocked me for crying
about Dad's death.

What was I supposed to do?

Be a man. This your house.

You gotta keep it tight.
You gotta be a leader.

- You gotta be a father...
- Gotta be a leader, gotta be a father,

a f*ck' bank, a f*ck' perfect husband,
of course, a good g*dd*mn son.

I know you not talking to me.
You must be confused.

Ma...

No, no, no. No.
It wasn't what you planned,

but this is the role
that you stepped into.

I am not Dad.

I know that.

But you did inherit his sensitivity.

[opening box, clinking]

The only difference is...

he was no good.

A no-good man with the nerve
to be sensitive.

- What do you want me to do?
- [weak laugh]

Want you to take this pie
in to your sister

and fix it.

[♪ gentle R&B music playing]

[football game on TV continues]

[Brian]
There you go, big head.

- Thank you, dummy.
- Uh-huh. [laughs]

[sighs]

- Who's winning?
- [Melissa] No one.

- Here, baby.
- Oh, thank you, thank you,

- thank you, thank you.
- Oh, thank you, Mama.

[phone buzzes]

[Beverly and Vanessa chattering]

- [Melissa laughs]
- [Beverly sighs]

♪

Hey, uh, Junebug left his vape.

So, I'ma go on ahead
and run it over to him.

I'll probably hang out for a little bit.

- Hey, babe, I gotta go see Junebug.
- [Beverly] Bye, baby.

Have fun!

[♪ "Life as We Know It" by Aldous Finch
& Gunnar Hakkinen playing]

♪ We're kicking and screaming while
we stand against the wall... ♪

[bar chatter]

[Melissa]
Brian Jackson.

[laughs] What a coincidence.

- I got drinks with Junebug. He just left.
- [Melissa] Mm. Wow.

Did you follow me here?

No, no, no, no, no. I have a date.

And you do, too, right?

With Tia?

I swear to f*cking God...

Oh, I love couples who
get drinks on Thanksgiving.

- It's so chill. [laughs]
- Right? [laughs]

I'll have what he's having,
but make it a double.

- You bet.
- [laughs]

- Does anybody know I'm here?
- Just...

me and Tia. By the way,

who cheats on their wife on Thanksgiving?

Who f*ck' catfishes their own brother?

- How'd you even think of this?
- Now, that is a good question.

Thank you! See,
I was swiping on the apps, like you do,

when I found my cheatin'-a*s brother,

and I thought, I'ma f*ck with him.

So, I changed my profile to Tia,
used a stock photo as bait, and we match.

I mean, it was disturbingly easy.

No, what's disturbing is you running
the risk of seeing my f*ck' nudes.

Oh, lucky for me,
my brother cheats like a gentleman.

If you tell my wife
what you think you know...

I mean, I'll be real it depends on how
this conversation goes.

Oh, you're blackmailing me.

- Are you for real?
- Mm, not really.

- Well, what the f*ck do you want?
- You know, having the tangible evidence

that you're a hypocritical
piece of sh*t...

- Mm-hmm. Mm.
- ...you know, that feels good.

The catfishing,
that was just me having fun. [giggles]

I can't believe
you're sittin' in my motherfuckin' house,

eatin' my food...

- Boston Market. Mm.
- ...in my house that I paid for.

You were talking to my wife and my kids
in my house.

You were messaging another woman.

In your own home. In front of your wife.

Your kids. That's on you.

You know what it is?
You just wish you had something to lose.

- The pressure that I am under.
- [grunts]

The responsibility
that's on my f*ck' back.

Will you stop? You are not the only man
in the world with responsibilities, okay?

Y-You gotta come back down to earth

instead of letting Mom gas you up.

Ah! That's it. Yep. You just trying to get
me back for Mom putting me on a pedestal.

- Uh-uh.
- That's some petty bullshit.

- You know what?
- I'm not the one that did the sh*t.

No, she never put you on a pedestal.

She just made sure I was low enough,

so you had someone to look down on.

But the truth is,
you're just a regular n*gga

who thinks he's extraordinary
for existing.

So, that's how you feel?

Oh, it's not just how I feel.
Those are facts.

- Perfect. I love facts.
- Mm!

- I got a few of my own.
- Oh, can't wait.

- My sister...
- Mm-hmm.

...is a 35-year-old woman...

- Here we go. Mm.
- ...with a dead-end job

and no friends to pick her up
from the hospital.

- Mm.
- She is so broke

and so dishonest
that she stole my identity.

I... I needed a guarantor
to pay my hospital bill.

- Mm.
- I mean, it's not identity theft.

- I'm making payments...
- How are you paying for Hawaii?

That's none of your business.

How in the f*ck are you paying for it?

Why are you so pressed?
I didn't take your money.

So, you did take someone else's?

[sighs] For f*ck's sake.

The hospital switched my belongings up
with the woman who died in my room.

I used her card.

g*dd*mn!

No one got harmed!

- You are f*cked up!
- After all that I had been through,

I felt like I deserved
to do something for me!

No, yeah, you're right. You know, stealing
a dead lady's credit card is self-care.

[laughing]

Jesus. You, you really...

don't have empathy for me, do you?

- None at all.
- [Melissa] Wow.

It is always the f*ck'
same thing with you.

- [scoffs]
- Working shitty jobs,

asking for money,
complaining about your life,

and it just goes on and on and f*ck' on,

and it's been going on like that
for way too f*ck' long, Melissa.

Look me in my eyes and you ask me

to have empathy for you scamming.

This is a new low for you.

You love my lows, Brian!

You f*cking love my lows.
That's the only sh*t you show up for.

- Never my highs. Never. You...
- Mel...

[wheezes]

- You don't even know me.
- [♪ gentle R&B music playing]

I'm different now, Brian.
I am k*lling it at my job.

I have friends th-that are...

lovely and supportive.

I'm a morning person.

I get up, a-and I take the dog out.

I know it's not a big deal to you,
but that's huge for me.

H-Hold on.
Thought you were scared of dogs.

No, you're scared of dogs.

If there's a dog in my house,
I am scared it's gonna take a sh*t.

[both laugh]

[customer 1] How Am I Supposed
to Live Without You. No contest!

[customer 2] Hands down,
When a Man Loves a Woman.

[customer 1]
No. What? [laughs]

- Do you remember that song?
- Come on. Do I?

Infomercials were my favorite show.

Oh, my God, I didn't even know
they were disparate songs.

- Stop it. [laughs]
- I thought it was one long song!

One long song

- with a lot of different singers on it.
- Oh, we used to tear that sh*t up!

[sings]
♪ Tell me how am I supposed ♪

- ♪ To live without you? ♪
- [laughs]

[sings]
♪ Somewhere out there ♪

- ♪ Here and now ♪
- [laughs]

- Hoo!
- Hoo!

♪ Have I told you lately that I love you ♪

[grunts]

- ♪ It must've been love ♪ Come on!
- Hey! Yeah!

[both]
♪ But it's over now ♪

Oh, gosh. That is not
the correct note, uh, Brian.

Yeah, I don't think those are them.

- I don't think...
- I'm telling you.

- Maybe I... I'ma look into that...
- Yeah.

[♪ soft R&B music playing]

♪

Brian, you have everything.

And I-I'm just trying to understand

- why are you doing this.
- If I knew that, I wouldn't be doing it.

I love her. I've never stopped loving her,
but, you know, marriage is weird.

Every few years, a different dynamic.

Right now, we're co-workers,

and I'm not gonna sit here and pretend
that cheating's gon' fix that.

Neither is a baby.

Yeah, Sarah told me.
A baby, Brian. Come on.

Well, you know, we are at our best
when we're pregnant.

We get to be in our own world.

- Oh my God, we're kinder.
- So you're gonna be wrapped up

in having this baby
and magically stop cheating?

- I...
- [scoffs] I mean,

- have you tried... talking to her?
- [Brian] No, not really.

I mean, Sarah's dealing with it
by reading Brené Brown

or whatever bullshit white women read.

- [giggles] A Becky Book Club.
- I knew you were gonna say that.

You know I love her.
Mom, on the other hand.

She's mad you didn't
marry somebody like her.

[♪ R&B continues playing]

What's going on over there?

I forgot this thing.

You know, Sarah and I went to this,
uh, gala thingy

for, like, Black History Month.
We had a real good time.

- [chuckles]
- And then, the DJ got on the microphone.

He was like,
"Yo, I want all my Black couples

to come on down to the dance floor,

so we can celebrate Black love!"

And like...
And I was sitting at my table...

and I was watching it,
and I was like, "Damn.

I'm never gonna have that again."

So...

the women you cheat with...

- Oh, they're all Black.
- [Melissa scoffs]

I mean, you know, sometimes I just like
to talk to somebody who looks like me.

That's icky, Brian.
You're using these women.

That's f*cked up.

- Why not talk to Mom or me?
- Oh, I can't.

- Why not? Why not?
- Because you're my dependents.

- I miss Dad.
- Hmm.

And I really need to talk to him.

I wish he did better by us on the way out.

Nah.

Becoming a father is the only thing

that allowed me to...

open a little bit of room in my heart,

see Dad and forgive him.

You know, I wish
we experienced the same dad.

You got his good years, and,

to me, he's just the first man
to not want me.

- The first of many.
- Okay, which is it?

See, you real good
and picking and choosing

when you're changed
and when you're hopeless.

I am different.

There's a lot of sh*t
I don't have control over.

Some of us don't get to have the house...

or the family...

- [crying] or the love of their lives.
- Bullshit! You do! You get that.

You get to have all of that.

Baby, you gon' have all of that.

You know what your problem is?

Your dumb a*s is not
paying attention, okay?

Because I promise you,

if you would just look up,

you would be surprised
at how many people love you.

♪

- You gonna cry?
- [sniffles] I'm already crying!

Okay. Alright.

[exhales] f*ck me.

- Can I get another one of these, please?
- [server] Be right there.

[mouthing] Don't do that.

♪

So, after all this...

[baby voice]
you think we can be friends?

- [laughs] Nope!
- [laughs]

To my face, my whole face.
You said it with your chest.

I wanted to make sure
I had your attention.

- Yeah, you did. [laughs]
- You know what?

Let's get outta here before I get my a*s
in more trouble.

After you. Mm-hmm.

♪ And the whole world will be saying ♪

- Oh, sh*t, come on now.
- God! [laughs] sh*t.

Look at me.
See, I saved your baby corn a*s again.

[Melissa]
Oh, but you couldn't save Mufasa.

- [laughs]
- [Brian] Bruh, you know what?

♪ When you moan, you don't know what
you be moaning about now ♪

[♪ vocalizing]

[♪ vocalizing]

♪

[♪ vocalizing]

[♪ vocalizing]

♪ I, I can hear the
whole world sing, yeah ♪

[♪ vocalizing]

♪ Start livin' it up, livin' it up... ♪

[♪ fanfare playing]