01x06 - Exodus

[bunniefuu]

[commentator] I believe

that she is appreciated.

I believe that she is respected.

But I'll be very, very clear

and unapologetic for saying this.

If she were white,

it would be exponentially bigger.

[Serena Williams speaking]

[commentator 2] The big "R" word

comes in here, racism.

[Serena speaking]

[commentator 2] Serena Williams

was right, and they booed her anyway.

[Serena speaking]

[commentator 3]

Always some kind of comment

about her physique,

her wardrobe, et cetera.

[Serena speaking]

[dramatic music playing]

[theme music playing]

[crows cawing]

[wind blowing]

[dramatic music playing]

[reporter] A really important moment

in sports today.

[reporter 2] Serena Williams

returns to Indian Wells.

[reporter 3] She hasn't stepped foot

on the court there since 2001.

[reporter 4] Now the world's number one

tennis player will return to play again.

-[man] Serena

-[woman] Serena

[reporter] Serena, there were mistakes

made on both sides in 2001.

Just wondering, do you feel like

you have anything to apologize for?

That's not necessarily a true statement,

but [chuckles]

I guess you have to do

you do have to ask those questions.

[Serena] Ugh. 2001 Indian Wells.

Thank you.

I don't talk about that too much.

[reporter 2] Welcome back, Serena.

It was one of the lowest points

of my career, one.

If you didn't think

we had to deal with racism,

just watch that match.

I have never been able

to watch that match.

[commentator 1] I've never seen this

in a tennis match.

[commentator 2] Neither have I.

It's pretty amazing.

[dramatic music playing]

[crowd cheering]

[commentator] Live coverage.

Championship match. The Evert Cup.

This is Steffi Graf serving,

trailing 5-6 to Serena Williams.

[grunts]

[Serena] Indian Wells

was always my favorite spot to play at.

[audience gasps]

'Cause I'm from California, you know,

and that was, like,

the one tournament I loved to go to.

[continues grunting]

It was so iconic for me.

My big breakthrough was at Indian Wells.

Winning in 1999 was, like,

the biggest tournament I had won,

and it was huge for me.

[commentator] Serena Williams a winner

over 21-time Grand Slam winner

Steffi Graf.

[Serena] So, in 2001,

I was excited to go there

and [sighs] create more memories.

I loved being there.

[Mary Joe Fernández] Indian Wells became

one of the biggest tournaments

outside of the Grand Slams,

so when you talk about prestige

and winning an event after the majors,

you would want to win Indian Wells.

That was one of the biggest ones.

I'm gonna smile this time.

I looked too serious before.

I'd played professional tennis

for about 15 years, retired end of '99,

and I started doing commentating

for ESPN in 2000.

At the time, ESPN covered Indian Wells,

so I was doing the commentating

for the tournament.

2001, when Serena entered

to play Indian Wells,

she had already won it,

so expectations were super high.

[grunting]

[commentator] If she wins here,

she remains on a collision course

with Venus.

They would meet in the quarterfinals.

At this point,

Venus had been winning quite a bit.

[dramatic music playing]

Serena coming up short

at some of the Grand Slams,

but still winning.

So, there were definitely stakes there

at Indian Wells.

[Serena] I was winning.

Venus was winning.

And unfortunately,

we were due to meet in the semifinals

if we both continued to win.

Venus had had a really long match

against Elena Dementieva.

[commentator] Not her best tennis,

but she's hanging in there.

[Serena] She got really, really injured.

She was barely able to win the match.

[umpire] Game, set, match, Williams.

Two sets to love.

[Serena] I was actually surprised

that she won 'cause she was in pain.

[commentator]

Venus Williams to the semifinals,

where she will play a pretty

familiar opponent: Serena.

[Cliff Drysdale] Tonight they're on

opposite sides of the net,

each vying for a prize

they cannot share:

a berth in the championship final

at Indian Wells.

It's a special occasion,

this sixth meeting between the sisters.

They actually try to avoid

playing against each other,

but when they do,

it's a matchup

of the two most powerful hitters.

And for more on that, let's go to

Mary Joe Fernández and Pam Shriver.

Friendly hello back to you. Thanks.

We're looking forward to this match.

We saw a big upset

I remember being super excited,

um, with Pam Shriver,

who I was working with.

Mary Joe, usually in these rivalries

between sisters,

the older one has the edge.

When you throw in the sister thing,

it throws a curveball into the equation.

But based on how they're playing,

Serena is playing

the better of the two sisters.

We had rehearsed already,

we were getting ready to come on live

when our producer in our ear,

you know, starts cursing.

He's like, "Oh, my gosh.

"We're not gonna have a match.

Venus has to pull out."

-[Pam gasps]

-[Mary Joe] No way.

[Mary Joe] No way.

[Pam] What are we gonna do?

[Mary Joe] We still go with our open.

No, we don't.

-[Pam] We can't.

-[Mary Joe] We can't.

[Pam] Welcome to the live coverage

of the Tennis Masters Series,

Indian Wells.

Our matchup was supposed to be

Serena Williams against Venus Williams.

Literally about two minutes ago,

we just heard that Venus Williams

has had to pull out

with right knee tendonitis.

And we were, like, what?

What do you mean?

You know, we were all ready.

We're in a state of shock.

Do you remember anything like this

happening two minutes

before walking out?

It just happened a couple minutes ago.

Usually you know a couple hours before.

I remember being, like, oh, my goodness.

Disappointment.

[Pam] We can hear the noise behind us.

It's just sinking in with the crowd

as they booed.

[crowd booing]

Venus did play the last few matches

with a bandage on her knee.

Both Venus and Serena have had

a lot of injury problems the last

I came to California.

We were all excited

to see Serena and Venus play.

But Venus got injured.

[Isha] She had inflammation in her knee,

and per protocol,

she did what she was supposed to do.

She went to the doctor.

[Michelle Gebrian]

I took her into the training room,

did some functional testing.

She was experiencing quite a bit of pain

and we agreed

it wasn't prudent for her to play.

[Serena] I remember her trying to tell

the directors or whoever it was,

like, "Okay, I don't think

I'm gonna be able to play."

She kept trying to tell 'em.

It was way before

the tournament started.

It wasn't just, you know, randomly,

like, two hours before.

It wasn't like that.

[Bart McGuire]

Venus had pulled out very late.

We had no notice.

The fans had no notice.

They were very upset

because they'd expected to have a match.

And we learned a lesson from that.

[Mary Joe] I would assume

that the tournament had some knowledge

that there was a possibility.

I can't imagine Venus didn't say

anything until the very last second.

[Serena] They took so long to react

and to, I don't know,

maybe to hear her

or to take her seriously. I don't know.

But she was never able to play.

She couldn't physically play that match.

Give us some details about the injury.

When it happened,

how long you've had it,

and what it felt like today.

Um, tendonitis in my knee.

About four weeks ago,

I was playing in Nice

and started to have some symptoms.

And since then, it has improved,

but, you know,

with just playing on the hard courts

and really playing a lot of matches,

it just kind of regressed

as the week went on.

Yeah, I tried a different tape job

and warming my knee up,

but it just

it didn't work out for today.

[Isha] That instantly means

the person she would have been playing,

which in this case was Serena,

gets a walkover.

And so Serena's now in the final,

and she'll have to play Kim Clijsters.

[somber music playing]

[Serena] I was happy

I had the extra day off.

I'm just living my life,

train, watch film.

I remember swinging my racket

at my hotel,

and then just practicing in my mind

and getting ready.

And then I just remember

going into the grocery store

and being on the cover

of The National Enquirer.

I don't know. It was an "inside story"

talking about how my dad

sets up these matches.

[reporter] They allege that Richard

had predetermined which sister would win

their 2000 semifinal matchup

at Wimbledon.

They run with the story that is false,

in The National Enquirer at that.

[reporter 2] Elena Dementieva said

all Williams event results

are orchestrated by Richard Williams,

the father and the coach of the players.

[Mary Joe] You heard people speculate,

and I remember Venus

beat Dementieva in the round before,

and Dementieva afterwards said,

"Yeah, I'm sure the dad, you know,

tells them who should win"

or something like that.

No, I would never tell my daughter

to lose or to win.

[tense music playing]

[reporter]

Think there's any truth to it?

Don't you think that we think

there's some truth to that?

Or don't you care?

Would you like me to answer?

[mediator] That's five questions.

Let her answer the first one?

[camera shutter clicking]

I'll pass, since,

you know, you were pretty

I don't think

you were very polite to me.

Thank you.

[reporter] At least she's not arrogant.

[Malcolm Folley] Whether Richard said,

"You should win today."

We hope that doesn't happen.

We're not sure, are we?

[Mary Joe] This is sports,

this is tennis,

and injuries happen,

and these situations can occur.

But, of course,

everybody started to speak up.

The family has denied

similar allegations in the past,

and that only makes sense,

as otherwise it would appear

Richard favors his firstborn daughter

because Venus leads the series

with Serena four games to one.

Well, this is nuts

because that's just not true.

Also, if it was true,

boy, it's imbalanced, you know,

'cause I don't think

I could even beat Venus at the time.

So, I was, like, man,

that's rough to be me

if he's setting up these matches.

He sets me up to lose all the time.

And incidentally, it wasn't true.

Also, I think it's important

to understand

that my family's name

has been in the media

since I was seven years old.

[commentator] Venus Williams

and her sister Serena Holyfield?

-Come on.

-[laughter]

[Serena] "Oh, she's muscular,"

or "She looks like a man,"

or "She must be a man"

or "She's on drugs."

And I was able to take it

'cause I was there to play tennis,

to win, and to be the best.

It's like you become a little bit jaded.

It's like

you're used to hearing your name,

and you just shut it off

and you shut it down.

Seems like us Williams sisters

are always involved

in some type of preposterous

and just absolutely ridiculous

um, what's the word I'm looking for?

Controversy.

It was horrible at the end of the day,

what ended up happening the next day.

[reporter] There's still this buzz

about the Williams sisters.

Serena Williams given a bye

by her sister Venus Williams,

who pulled out of their semifinal match

just ten minutes before the start

of the match the other day.

[tense music playing]

[Serena] When the finals came around,

I was really excited to go out there

and win this title again.

That was really cool.

You take a golf cart down this tunnel

to the court.

I hear all this booing.

[crowd booing]

And I thought, ugh, I feel so sorry

for Kim Clijsters right now.

That's so rude of them. [laughs]

That's so rude of them to boo her.

How awful.

Like, she's from Belgium.

Like, this is crazy.

Like, this is so intense.

And that's what I thought.

It was literally what I thought.

It became more and more obvious

that the booing wasn't for her.

And I think it became super obvious

as I'm walking out from the tunnel.

They said,

"From Belgium, Kim Clijsters."

And the crowd, like

[imitates crowd roaring]

As if it was the U.S. Open finals,

and she'd just won.

Like, legit.

And then when they introduced me,

and it was, like, "Serena Williams!"

[crowd booing loudly]

[commentator] You hear them

voicing their opinions

in the most vociferous of fashions.

And I was just, like

What did I what happened?

Did I miss something?

'Cause I didn't even know

why they were booing me.

I remember looking at Pam,

like, what is happening?

Like, well it's not Serena's fault

that the match got canceled yesterday.

[Pam] Remember, a lot of this crowd

that's here watching this final,

they were here two nights ago.

They were waiting to see

the Williams sisters play.

They heard the announcement

right when the Williams sisters

were supposed to come out.

I was being blamed

for literally nothing,

something that was made up.

It was weird

because Venus is the one who withdrew,

so I didn't expect anything, really,

to be out of the ordinary for the final.

[Pam] Very tense. I've never seen

anything like this at a tennis match.

[Mary Joe] Neither have I.

It's pretty amazing.

[Serena] And I don't know how

the entire crowd was on the same page.

I never could understand that.

[crowd booing]

'Cause it wasn't like

it was this section

or this little box or these people.

It was the entire crowd.

[crowd booing]

[rattling]

Can you imagine someone being white

and booing a 19-year-old Black girl?

Like, that's the lowest of the low.

Like, seriously? Like

Ugh. I would never do that

to a teenager, and I was a teenager.

They took it out on her

and on the family,

which was really unfair.

[commentator] More drama

as Venus and Richard Williams walk down.

And here's the crowd again.

[crowd continues booing]

I wasn't present,

but I watching this thing on television.

I was watching it unfold.

[man] Go home, Richard!

[Isha] Venus and my dad

were walking down to the seats.

I was like, are they boo

like, I literally couldn't believe it.

[commentator] An American crowd

booing fellow Americans?

Well, I must admit,

that does appear rather r*cist.

Tons of boos, tons of jeers.

[Mary Joe] There was a heckler that,

we don't know what was said,

but it really got his attention.

[booing continues]

[Pam] Reminiscent a little bit

of the '68 Olympic scene.

[dramatic music playing]

[man shouting]

[man 2 shouting]

No one came out to say, like,

"This has gotta stop"

or made an announcement at that point,

because it was so ludicrous, you know?

And I understand that

that stuff doesn't happen,

but there are some special circumstances

when you see such blatant racism

that you have to be able to step in.

This is 2001.

This is not a lynching,

and that's what it felt like.

[commentator] He's clearly very unhappy,

and I can understand why.

In what world does this happen?

Like, this is so unsportsmanlike.

None of those people that were booing

should have been there.

Like, who does that?

That's so rude.

For the most part, day in and day out,

tennis has a very, you know,

quiet and respectful,

uh, presence for the fans.

So, you know, to see that at a big final

was really, really out of the ordinary.

I wasn't expecting it at all.

[Serena] So, we start playing the match.

[cheering]

And they're rooting against me.

I was so taken aback.

[commentator 1] Might think

she's in Belgium

-[commentator 2] Definitely.

-the crowd she has behind her.

It was pretty much

throughout the whole match.

It was just rough.

Like, every shot

[cheering]

[Lyndrea] every serve

[cheers and applause]

[Lyndrea] every point.

[cheers and applause]

They were determined to make me lose.

[crowd chanting] Kim! Kim! Kim!

Kim! Kim! Kim!

[Lyndrea] All the time,

I'm just praying.

"Oh, Jehovah God, please keep

Serena safe and let her do her best,

"even with these

difficult circumstances," you know.

[somber music playing]

[cheering]

[commentator] This will be

a test for Serena Williams.

We're gonna find out what she's made of,

how mentally tough she really is.

[Mary Joe] When you are out there alone,

and you know they're coming against you

and the crowd's cheering against you,

and you're thinking, "I'm from

this area. These are my fans"

-[crowd cheering]

-[rattling]

"and I'm not getting support,"

it has to really mess with you mentally.

[woman] Go, Kim! Go!

-Let's put her away!

-[umpire] Quiet, please!

And I don't think everybody can handle

what she went through there.

[crowd cheering]

[umpire] Game, Clijsters.

[somber music playing]

She did her part.

She showed up, and she was ready to go,

so there was really no reason

to take it out on her.

So, it was very unfair

because here's this young player

having to deal with

what was a hostile crowd.

[grunts]

[crowd cheering]

Horrible. It was a horrible,

horrible thing to have to go through.

[Serena] Every changeover, I prayed

just to let me get off the court.

And I cried and I prayed,

and I cried in my towel.

She's burying her face

in the towel on different changeovers,

and she's crying.

And, uh

that was really hard for me

because I felt like

I should have been there.

Not that there's anything

that you can do,

but I definitely felt like

that was a place that,

you know, I should have been

and to protect both of them.

Because they were both experiencing

this horrible injustice,

and it was really the crowd.

And to see your sister very publicly

lose her innocence

is tough.

It's really tough.

Because we had done so much

as a family, I think,

to, uh, to not allow that to happen.

And there was nothing we could do.

Can I take a Yeah.

[grunts]

[linesman] Out!

[commentator] Another wild forehand

from Serena Williams.

I was like, "God Jehovah,

I'm not trying to win this match.

"I don't care about this match.

"I just wanna get off this court

with pride and holding my head up.

"I don't wanna go stoop down

to these people's level."

[somber music playing]

Eventually, there was this one voice.

"Come on, Serena!

Come on! You can do this."

[woman in crowd] Come on, Serena!

You can do it!

[Serena] It was the way they said it.

I can't describe it

I don't know how I even heard it.

And you know me. I just need one.

[Serena grunts]

[commentator] Great serve from Williams.

[Serena] It was all I needed

'cause I was just, like,

if there's one person rooting

for me, like, I got this. I can do this.

And I said, okay.

I'm gonna try to do something here.

[commentator] A bit of momentum,

really, now for Williams.

Serena has really kept it together.

Maybe it was an answered prayer,

I don't know,

but it was exactly what I needed

not to win,

but just to get through the match.

[umpire] Game, and second set

[commentator] Serena Williams

with a winner.

We're going into a third set

of the finals from Indian Wells.

I just wanted to get off the court

with my head held high.

But you had to be focused,

and definitely against Kim Clijsters,

you really had to be focused.

[grunts]

[commentator]

Great tennis from Clijsters.

It showed at an early age

how very, very tough

Serena Williams was,

to be able to put your head down,

deal with it, really didn't complain.

I think a lot of players

would have said to the umpire,

"I'm not playing until they stop booing.

I'm gonna wait."

And she just handled it.

[grunts]

[Lyndrea] She was able to rally

and overcome a deficit.

[Serena yells]

[Serena] Through racism,

through jeering, they couldn't break me.

Come on!

They couldn't break

this little teenage Black girl.

They couldn't do it.

[grunts]

[yells]

[cheers and applause]

[dramatic music playing]

[Serena] I don't know how

I won that match.

But it was the worst win I've ever had.

I'm just here playing tennis.

I did that so well

that you hated me for it.

Like, it's one thing not to like,

but they hated me.

[commentator] You gotta hand it

to Serena Williams,

going over to hug her father

and her sister.

[crowd booing]

There's more boos from the crowd.

[somber music playing]

It was, like, the worst.

I just wanted to get out of there,

and I never wanted to go back again.

[Serena] I remember

in that trophy ceremony,

I was barely able to get through it.

They boo her the whole time

[crowd booing]

[Lyndrea] even till the end

of the ceremony.

Well, first and foremost,

I would like to thank my God Jehovah

for giving me the strength

to even compete out here,

'cause you guys

were a little tough today for me.

[laughs] Um,

I would like to thank my dad,

who's always supportive,

my family, my sisters,

and I would like to thank everyone

that supported me

and if you didn't,

I love you guys anyway.

Thank you.

[cheers and applause]

She thanked the crowd anyway.

I just wanted to be better

than these people who were so awful,

who were so mean and cruel.

I knew I could be better than that,

and that's what I did,

and I was like, okay, check.

God answered another prayer of mine.

'Cause that was very difficult for me

You talk about them going low

and me going high.

Now, I gotta tell you,

I don't think I would do that now,

which is just shameful.

But it was, um

it wasn't fun.

[rumbling]

When I was inside

and no one could see me anymore,

I was broken.

I was physically, mentally,

emotionally, completely, utterly broken.

I had all this on my shoulders

and on my back, just crying.

You don't cry if you win

such a big tournament, you know?

Usually you feel good about it.

Usually you're happy.

[Isha] I just remember calling,

and Tunde saying,

"She's okay, she's okay."

[somber music playing]

I remember Yetunde

driving Serena away from Indian Wells,

and she just said,

"I just wanna get outta here.

"I just wanna get outta here."

[Serena] The ride home was hard.

I remember my sister Tunde was there,

and she was comforting me,

but I just remember being

at the gas station with the trophy,

and I was crying,

and I still hadn't recovered.

I was still upset.

And then I just said,

"I don't think I can go back."

[somber music playing]

[reporter] Serena Williams

was aggressively booed

throughout her victory

in the finals at Indian Wells.

A week later,

Richard Williams said booing

was not the only thing he heard.

I don't think you can explain

the thunder of what went on there.

It was so unreal.

There was people,

and the thousands

and thousands of people

just yelling and booing.

-[crowd booing]

-Then you hear this guy, and he said,

"n*gg*r, if this was 1975 or '85,"

he said, "We'd skin you alive out here."

[dramatic music playing]

And I think their ways

and actions showed,

when he called me a n*gg*r,

that that's what they had been wanting

to say all along.

They just wanted to find

a perfect time to say it.

[Serena] For my dad, I mean, you know,

he grew up in the South in the '40s.

You know, like, how triggering

that must have been for him?

Like, he moved to California

to escape that.

It was really kinda tough

because you just never expected

anything like that to happen, um,

essentially in our backyard.

The CEO of the WTA Tour

said he was surprised

to hear Richard Williams

call the Indian Wells crowd r*cist

and define its boos directed

toward his daughters and family

as racially motivated.

[reporter] Do you have any comment

about that they claimed racism

and all that junk?

I don't think racism is junk at all.

[reporter] Did you think the booing

was, uh, racially motivated?

What do you think?

[dramatic music playing]

[Serena] It's always been like that:

me, myself, my sister

against the system.

Like, the system wasn't created for me.

Tennis was always a sport

made for people with white skin.

So, it was, uh

it's definitely something

that you notice, and I notice.

[somber music playing]

[Isha] The tournament

really wanted them to come back.

I mean, key to the city type stuff.

Like, "Oh, whatever it requires,

you know. Please come back."

And it was just, like,

"No, I'm not ready yet."

I understood it for sure.

Why go back to a place

where you got booed

and you were, you know,

made to feel terrible?

[somber music playing]

It affected both of them,

you know, very deeply.

And do I wish they'd come around sooner?

Yes, of course.

We all wanted to watch 'em play

at Indian Wells.

We all wanted to see 'em play

as much as possible.

So much time had passed

since she had been there,

since the incident,

that at that point, you could have

seen her not coming back ever.

[reporter] Serena Williams

has never again played at Indian Wells.

Gosh, I was just thinking

I wanna pick up a tournament,

but there's no tournaments

I might pick up unless I [laughs]

pick up Indian Wells,

and we all know

I'm not going there. [laughs]

[Isha] I don't know if we knew

that it would last as long as it did

in the very beginning.

I won't sit up here and say

that immediately it was like,

"We're never going back there again."

I don't think it was like that.

I think it was more a sense of,

"I have to be ready,"

and then it turned into,

"Yeah, I think I'm good."

[tense music playing]

[Serena] In 2014,

I read Nelson Mandela's book

A Long Walk To Freedom.

[reporter 1] Nelson Mandela

was put on trial

for plotting to overthrow

the South African government

and ultimately sentenced

to life in prison.

[reporter 2] Imprisoned

on Robben Island.

There he wrote

the bulk of his autobiography,

The Long Walk to Freedom.

[reporter 3] The 71-year-old leader

of the African National Congress

will walk free after 27 years in jail.

Mr. Mandela's release

was an hour and quarter

later than arranged.

It stalled because he took so long

saying goodbye to his jailers.

[Serena] He loved

and had a relationship with his captors.

He forgave his people that

put him in jail for 27 years, his prime.

Took away 27 years of his life.

He forgave them.

That was deep.

And you read in the Bible

that you have to be forgiving,

but this was a whole new level

meaning of that.

Ugh. I don't know

how he did what he did.

In prison, there have been men,

you know, who are very good

in the sense that, uh,

they understand our point of view,

and they do everything to try

and make you as happy as possible.

And that does wipe out any bitterness

which a man could have.

[Serena] But I didn't realize how much

I looked up to him until I met him,

and he was such a kind individual.

We just had some great conversations,

and, ugh, what he went through was

I went through nothing.

Like, that Are you I was

No matter how old I was,

it was nothing, you know?

And what he did,

what Nelson Mandela did

was so inspiring to me.

And that really got me thinking

about my legacy.

I didn't know how much longer

I was gonna play,

and ultimately, I didn't want

that to be the end of my story there.

[crowd booing]

It was, like,

am I willing to forgive, too?

And I felt like

if I had retired,

and I still had this story,

and it was, like, oh, I never went back,

it felt like they would win.

And I needed to just forgive and let go.

It was also time

to let that chapter of my life go, too,

just for myself and my sanity.

I remember getting

a phone call from her,

and I remember her saying,

"I think I'm gonna go back

to Indian Wells."

And I said, "What? Why?"

And she was, like,

"Well we're Christian,

"and at some point you have to forgive,

and you have to move on."

Another, um

time where, you know, you learn

something from your little sister.

[Serena] I was not gonna go back

if my family didn't agree with me

and did not want me to go back,

so I had to talk to everyone separately

and to see how they felt.

And I said,

"If this is what you want to do,

"I will be there, hands down,

to support you."

[Serena] Everyone else was onboard,

and I remember talking

finally and lastly to my dad.

It was a very difficult conversation.

And I said, "I just wanna let you know

I'm going to go back to Indian Wells."

And he said he understood,

and he said he would always support me.

He's, like,

"Obviously I'm gonna support you,

"but I just can't physically

go back there."

And I get it. It

I can't imagine

how triggering that was for him.

I knew it was time for me

to forgive and move on.

I didn't know how scary it was gonna be.

I didn't realize how traumatized

I had been from that whole experience

until it was time

for me to go to Indian Wells.

[dramatic music playing]

[reporter] It has been 14 years

since the best women's tennis player

in the world

last competed at Indian Wells.

[reporter 2] At a tournament she vowed

to stay away from for life.

[Serena] I remember

sitting in my bathroom,

and I was, like, I can't go.

I just I froze. I really froze.

And I was just, like,

there's no way that I can face that.

I thought I could do it.

Like, what was I thinking?

And even though it had been,

like, so many years,

I still remember the drive.

I used to enjoy that drive,

and now I was overly stressed.

[reporter] It is buzzing, I have to say.

Uh, fans are already braving

the hot desert sun.

waiting at the back gate

for a glimpse of Serena.

[Serena] I got there,

and I was regretting my decision.

[reporter] Do you think

there'll be added nerves

when you walk out for the first match?

I think there will be added nerves.

I would really not be telling the truth

if I said there wasn't,

and to be honest,

I was a little nervous to come out here.

In the beginning, I was, like,

"What was I thinking," you know?

[chuckles] But I kind of

had to overcome that hurdle.

So, I'm looking forward, actually,

to kind of stepping out on center court

and letting the whole world know

that it doesn't matter what you face,

whether it's something

that wasn't right,

something that hurt you,

hurt your family,

um, you can just come out and be strong

and say I'm still gonna be here,

I'm still gonna survive,

and I'm still gonna be

the best person that I can be.

[Isha] I was terrified for her,

because it's not necessarily

the tournament.

It's the people.

And you can't know

what the people are gonna do,

how the people are going to react.

You never know

if people are gonna be resentful.

Like, "You guys should have came back

and just took it."

You know what I'm saying?

Or if they're gonna feel

What is that community gonna feel like?

And I think that

that was one of the reasons

why it was so overwhelming

to go back finally.

It was almost like a weight,

you know, this heaviness,

because you just didn't know

what the reaction was gonna be.

[commentator] It's not easy

coming to this tournament

for the first time in 14 years

for Serena.

It's not an easy situation for her.

[Mary Joe] I was nervous for her.

I knew what a big step

this was for her to take,

and I just remember just saying,

"Please, like, make sure

she gets a good reception."

[dramatic music playing]

[Serena] Got down that tunnel,

and I just put on my noise-canceling

headphones at this point,

and I'm just, like,

"Zone out, Serena. Zone out."

And I am stressed. I'm sweating.

I'm thinking also, there's no way,

by the way, I'm gonna win this match.

But I'm just, like

[sighs] I'm regretting my decision.

I'm regretting the word "forgiveness."

I hadn't at that point in my life

had so many knots and butterflies

walking out onto a court ever.

But I had to walk out.

There was no other way for me to go.

[announcer] Please welcome

the number one player in the world,

Serena Williams!

[crowd cheering loudly]

[Serena] There's applause,

and I just started crying.

[cheers and applause]

It was an extremely emotional,

massive moment,

not only in my life,

but I think in my career.

[Mary Joe] The crowd

was really, really behind her.

It was, I think,

thankful that she came back.

And, you know, I think she

it was important for her.

That was a very important step for her

in her career, you know,

to be able to close that chapter.

[Serena] I didn't realize

how much it affected me,

'cause I always just, like,

put on this shield of, like,

I can get through it, you know?

The moment I stepped out on the court

was a huge win for me.

It was like so much weight

had been lifted off of me.

[Isha] I remember when we went,

it was Lyndrea and I and my mom,

and we were all there.

It was really overwhelming

to hear how she was received.

It was amazing

to be able to experience that with her,

but also to let go of some of the guilt

that I think that I had

for not being there.

[dramatic music playing]

[grunting]

[crowd cheering loudly]

[Serena] I just remember

hearing the crowd, so loud.

And I genuinely don't remember

anything after that.

[chuckles] Everything else was blank.

[umpire speaks indistinctly]

[yells]

[upbeat music playing]

[Isha] It definitely took

a great deal of courage

for her to go back to Indian Wells.

[umpire] Game, Williams.

[Isha] It took a lot of faith

that no matter what happened,

she did it on her terms.

There's never gonna be anything

hanging over her head

that has power or control over her

or how she feels about herself.

[grunting]

So, in that sense,

she was always gonna be the winner.

[grunts]

[umpire] Game, Williams.

Forgiveness in that way

is a huge thing.

Does it heal the pain? No.

But what is the use

of keeping it bottled up

or keeping it on you?

Does it add anything to your life?

Does it add any money in your pocket?

[grunts]

[Lyndrea] You gotta

just let it go at one point.

Like, that's just

for anything in life, right?

[umpire] Game, Williams.

[Mary Joe] Whether she won or lost

didn't really matter.

It was a statement.

"I've moved on.

You know, I've gotten past the pain."

It was nice to see her

be able to come to terms with everything

and get back there.

[upbeat music continues]

[crowd cheers]

From the Indian Wells experience

and the way that Serena handled it,

I learned real forgiveness

starts in the heart.

And it ends up being this weight

that you kind of put off yourself

so that you can move forward

and fly.

[grunting continues]

[umpire] Game, set, match, Williams.

[cheers and applause]

[umpire] Two sets to love. Seven

[Serena] For me,

that was a huge win just to show up,

and I think it was a massive,

one of the biggest wins of my career.

And I think that me having to go through

those scathing, nasty, awful things

just because of the color of my skin,

opened a lot of doors for other people.

I have been able to provide a platform

for Black girls and Black women

to be proud of who they are,

and they don't have to write

those scathing things about them.

These women are amazing athletes,

beautiful athletes,

and exciting to watch

and exciting for the game

and actually needed in the game.

Playing this match loosened up so much

that I didn't realize I had.

It makes sense to forgive

because your life becomes lighter.

I didn't know

I was carrying that weight.

I felt free.

At that moment, I felt truly free,

and I understood

the true meaning of forgiveness.

[dramatic music playing]

[theme music playing]