01x07 - Quarantine

[bunniefuu]

Previously on SurrealEstate

- We stole her from Livingston-Kent.

- Bob Livingston fired me.

I pushed him back into

the arms of his wife.

You should have pushed

him into a woodchipper.

She spent eight years straight

in the Platinum Ring of Esteem.

- What's the Platinum Ring of Esteem?

- It's just this club

for people who do ten million dollars

in volume over a 12-month period.

The world always assumes that

people who investigate heresies

must be heretics.

I would remind you of the Travis house.

Those things, they can hurt you.

They are dangerous.

[SCREAMING]

[GENTLE MUSIC]

[ELEVATOR ARRIVING CHIME]

[AUGUST SIGHS]

Post-mortem in five, kids.

[BAG DOWN]

What exactly was that thing?

[SIGH] We call it a Roadie.

We're going to cover

it all in the wrap-up.

Those poor people.

Nearly k*lled each other.

Speaking of near-death experiences,

tomorrow night is the big night.

Platinum Ring of Esteem annual banquet.

Prom with business cards.

We mock what we do not understand.

Seriously, though.

Lifetime Achievement

Award at your tender age.

Some of us choose to measure our

lives in closings rather than years.

Look, sorry, Anthony. Um

[SIGHS]

No, that's great.

Yes, no, thank you

for cleaning the house.

I'm sure the adoption agency people

are going to be very impressed.

Ah, just one more quick

meeting and then I'll be home.

I'll heat it up.

God, Anthony, it's a meatloaf,

not a donor organ. It'll keep.

Yes, okay.

I love you. I gotta go. Bye.

[HANG UP BEEP]

All right, how long is

this thing going to take?

It shouldn't be too long.

Remarkable resilience for a Roadie.

I've never seen one with such

- Violent tendencies.

- Okay

Let's wrap this up;

get into the weekend.

Oh! You've got two new

calls from that reporter

Maria something?

- Uh, channel seven.

- Yeah,

she's been bugging the

cops, too. Where is Susan?

God, can we please start without

her? I've got places to be.

Sorry, I was just packing up a

little homework for the weekend.

Martyr.

Can we do this please? Phil?

Okay

We worked the Jackson

house for two weeks.

Mid-level engagement

associated with an old fella

who died in the upstairs

bedroom 20 years ago

but never got the memo.

Luke helped him move on

but, in doing so, revealed

our next contestant.

Basically a class-three

shapeshifting demon

that bounces from person to

person looking for a home.

They are attracted

to our type of houses.

They feed on the spiritual turbulence.

Heavier the engagement,

tastier the meal.

Basically, it looks for bad places

to live and makes them worse.

What do they look like?

See, that's the thing about Roadies

they have no corporeal

mass of their own

only the host they occupy

at any given moment.

- So, you've seen these things before?

- Only twice.

Fortunately, that was

enough for our man, August,

to figure out how modify the

M.E.D. to take it apart nicely.

And that is what saved

our bacon tonight.

PHIL: Yeah!

[WHOOPING]

To be prepared is half the victory.

Cervantes.

Man, those Roadies played rough.

You saw what those Jackson

kids did to their parents.

Yeah. But that's not the worst of it.

Mm-mm. If they manage to

stay in the host long enough,

they can take over.

Take over how?

You know those stories you

hear about the nice, responsible

insurance guy with a nice

yard who goes crazy one day

and kills his entire family with an axe?

My God.

Doesn't always go that way,

but often enough to, you know

[ALARM RINGS]

Ooh. That's not a happy sound.

AUGUST: That is the breach alarm.

Zooey, lock down the elevators

and the stairwell, please.

Talk to me, Augie.

Checking now.

- What? Is there a fire?

- I wish.

I think something followed us home.

[OPENING SCORE]

[MAN SCREAMS]

AUGUST: Bear in mind that this

merely indicates presence, not location.

Now, how did it survive

that blast from the M.E.D.?

It didn't. It was gone.

Ontologically disassembled.

- And yet here it is.

- I k*lled it.

It's dead.

So, I talked to the building sup.

He's shutting down the

elevators at the ninth floor

and securing the stairwell.

We have to walk down ten

flights of stairs to get out?

Do you want to tell her or can I?

Until we manage to wipe

this thing out properly,

we can't take a chance

on letting it out.

Lockdown, baby.

[SCOFFS]

You're kidding?

He's kidding, right?

ZOOEY: Nope.

So, we're stuck here?

- For how long?

- Well, hopefully

not for long but you saw how that thing

hopped from person to person.

We can't risk it getting out of here.

Can it pass through walls and doors?

Were you not paying attention?

It doesn't have a body

except for the host.

It's a Roadie; never travels alone,

only with the band.

So, how did it get up here?

It found a host.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

[DEEP SIGH]

Oh, come on!

The truth is we don't know.

This thing can sit

dormant in a person for

Phil, help me out here.

Latency seems to be

uncomfortable for Roadies. They

They like to move around, like a virus.

It infects different

people and takes control

after varying periods of dormancy

and the host never knows until

- he wakes up holding the axe.

- [STABBING SOUNDS]

It was around eight P.M.

when we last saw this thing

when August thought that he k*lled it.

Oh, August k*lled it, all right.

Your tech says otherwise.

Then there was more than one.

A Mary-Kate and Ashley?

Uh

I guess it's possible.

Okay.

We stay here for now.

We keep an eye on each other

and we see what pops up.

For how long?

Until we find it and

August smokes it for real.

Phil, do your thing. See

what else you can find out

And you might want to

look at your own device.

We are on the buddy system.

Susan, you and I can talk about

the Menendez proposal in my office.

You guys stick together.

Eyes on each other all the time.

You've got somebody to feed Schrodinger?

Yes, I I'll call my neighbor.

I gotta call Anthony.

He's gonna freak out.

Yeah, I got people I gotta call, too.

Why don't you go ahead and get

us some food while you're at it.

Okay, what sounds good?

Mm a morphine drip?

How's Chinese food?

Is that okay with everybody?

Chinese.

Great. And get the

usual. In the meantime

Let's all keep our eyes on each other.

Susan?

[SIGH]

[THREE PHONE LINES TRILLING]

ALL THREE: Hello?

No, it's just one of those work

things, Megan. It could be late.

Certainly no longer than

absolutely necessary.

Okay, bye.

[PHONE DROPS ON DESK]

- Just how long are we going to be stuck here?

- It's hard to say.

I don't have to tell you that

I am accepting a major award

in less than 24 hours

and there are certain acts

of personal maintenance

that need to take place

between now and then.

You look great. You always look great.

To the untrained eye.

In my own mind, I'm the

chick in the tub in room 237

of the Overlook Hotel.

Look, you are just being

too hard on yourself.

But it is my night, Luke.

It's my one night!

I'll never win an

Oscar, or a Stanley Cup

and the Nobel Prize committee has

an obvious anti-real estate bias.

Are you really going

to deny me exfoliation

on my very special day?

Are you that cruel?

I am not denying you anything.

But if this thing is inside of you,

you don't want it popping out in

the middle of your acceptance speech

and do some kind of Roadie Rumspringa.

It's going to do nothing

for your personal brand.

Now, do you want to

talk Menendez or not?

[DEEP SIGH]

[GENTLE MUSIC]

Yes.

I don't know, Jeffrey!

It's part of my job.

Well, maybe if you ever

had a job, you'd understand.

I thought you'd

understand, but I guess not.

You're stressed out? Anthony,

how do you think I feel?

Quite honestly, the longer

I stand here talking to you,

- the longer

- The longer cat food soaks in the warm water,

the better she likes it.

No, I'm all out of the

canned food she prefers.

- I didn't get to the, uh

- [DEEP RUMBLE]

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

[SQUELCHING]

To the, uh

store.

I'm afraid we'll all have to

struggle through this together.

[GENTLE MUSIC]

PHIL: Boy, it's a crowded field.

Okay

The Slavs call it a Leshy.

The Japanese have a shape-shifting

trickster fox called a Kitsune.

For the Algonquins, a Wendigo.

When it possessed somebody,

it developed a violent compulsion

to feast on human flesh.

- [PHONE REMINDER CHIME]

- Hn! Who's hungry?

I had no idea you could

break them down by income.

Used to be you couldn't.

But I developed this algorithm

that scrapes the property tax database

and extrapolates household

income on a separate tab.

Whew. It's fantastic.

- Mm-hm.

- Is it legal?

Susan Ireland: real estate renegade.

Dinner's downstairs.

Why is it downstairs? He

usually brings it upstairs.

Ah, 'cause he can

usually use the elevator.

So where is our dinner?

Down at the security desk.

Larry is probably sniffing

your Crab Rangoon as we speak.

Larry the, uh

Larry the security guard.

You know the one who

looks at Susan the way

Kanye looks at Kanye.

[MISCHIEVOUS MUSIC]

Yeah. Just do the voice.

Larry!

Hey, you!

[FLUORESCENT TUBES BUZZ]

[PAPERS RUSTLE]

What are these?

The Jacksons had 'em up on the fridge.

Think the youngest kid drew 'em

when he was chock full o' demon.

What do they mean?

Swirls, chaos

Two parents, one sibling

Who knows?

We should probably take

turns getting some sleep.

Two of us need to be awake at all times.

Well, I need a tool from my workshop.

Who would like to

accompany me to witness

any horrid transformations

that might take place?

Oh, I'd buy a ticket for that.

[LIGHT SWITCH CLICKS]

[GENTLE MUSIC]

[ELECTRONIC HUMS AND WHOOSHES]

It's like

Marie Curie/ Edgar Allen Poe

gave birth to Steve Jobs and we're

looking inside of its brain.

I've been meaning to tidy up

but there always seems to

be some more compelling need.

Ooh! Sweet Virgin

Airlines! What is that?

It was living in the furnace of a

mid-century bungalow some years ago.

It, uh, obstructed the ventilation.

Made it impossible to pass the

buyers' pre-closing inspection.

- Can't have that.

- Plus

it ate their cat.

Uh, I don't even understand

most of this sh*t.

It must be difficult to

focus when you're always

busy trying to formulate

your next ironic remark.

Rather lazy intellectually, though.

- Excuse me?

- [PHONE BUZZES]

Uh, I need to take this.

[DEMONIC VOICE CREEPS IN]

Oh, I know you do.

- What is your problem?

- You're strong.

Makes me sad to see you act so needy.

[SCOFFS] Needy?

You think I'm needy?

- [PHONE BUZZES]

- [EXASPERATED SIGH]

I-I'm gonna take this and

when I get back, you and me,

we're going to have a little chat.

What is it, Jeffrey?

Why, what did she say?

[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC]

[DEEP RUMBLING]

[SQUELCHING]

[SQUELCHING]

[DOOR RUMBLES CLOSED]

So, this one version of the Roadie

supposedly manifests in a

large red, bird-shaped rash

on the infected person's left buttock.

What exactly am I supposed

to do with that information?

- [PHONE DINGS]

- Hm.

- [TEXT WHOOSH]

- Oh, God.

[BUTTON CLICKS]

[TEXT SENT SWOOP]

[TEXT WHOOSHES, CLICKS AND SWOOPS]

[GENTLE MUSIC]

[PHONE DOWN ON TABLE]

Trouble at home?

I told you Anthony and

I are trying to adopt?

Well, the people are coming

over tomorrow morning.

Anthony's freaking out.

They're gonna love you.

I hope so.

You can trust me on two subjects

adjustable-rate mortgages

and screwed-up families.

You and Anthony will

be the best dads ever.

[CHUCKLES]

I wish you would adopt me!

We could never afford the wardrobe.

I cannot believe you

are breaking up with me

over the phone right now!

At least it's not a text.

Can you hold that whiny

rationalization for a hot second?

Augie?

We're su-supposed to be

- [LOUD WHOOSH]

- [GROWL]

[PULSING MUSIC]

[MUSIC CRESCENDOS, FADES OUT QUICKLY]

[DEEP BREATHS]

You okay?

Oh, it was just that stupid

dream where you're doing a closing

and Justin Timberlake's the buyer

and just as he's about to

sign the HUD-One statement,

he looks straight into

your eyes and starts singing

"I'm Lovin' It" and then his

pen turns into this big snake.

[INHALES]

Oh, come on. You've

never had that dream?

[GENTLE MUSIC]

Where's Zooey and, uh

August?

Luke

I'm

afraid we have a problem.

[MUSIC CRESCENDOS]

[GLASS DOWN]

I was certain I'd blasted

that thing to smithereens.

I still believe

Where's Zooey?

I don't know.

I sat down at my workbench,

trying to figure out

how to integrate the

chopping mechanism into an M.E.D.

The next thing I knew, my

My arms felt like they

were out of joint and

Zooey was nowhere to be found.

We are on lockdown.

She is in this office.

We'll find Zooey.

And we somehow need

to find the blades to a

Karnaj model number

6800 FYB food processor.

- There's plenty of time for that.

- No!

The demon focused on

those particular blades.

It took a file and dulled them.

Destroyed them!

If it made that effort,

there is something there.

Okay.

You guys look for Zooey.

And you keep an eye on each other.

[FOOTSTEPS AWAY]

Luke,

what if I did to her what those

- boys did to ?

- I can't.

Hey. It's me.

You know that 24-hour

Sav-Mor on Brighton?

Yeah, the one across from the park.

Do you know if they have any

high-end small appliances?

Elevators are still locked down.

Stairway door shows locked.

- Zooey!

- I mean, it's a small office.

Come on, Zooey, quit screwing around!

[OMINOUS MUSIC SWELL]

- PHIL: Anything?

- Let's check his workshop.

[THUD]

[EERIE MUSIC]

[SQUELCHING]

[ANIMALISTIC GROWLS]

Augie.

[FINGERS SNAPPING]

- Any luck?

- No.

I've been texting her. Nothing.

Not Zooey's style to run away.

Maybe Zooey wasn't driving.

- I need to find her.

- You stay where you are.

Luke, we need to talk to you.

Outside.

You can speak in front of me.

We looked in your workshop.

The M.E.D is dismantled.

I told you, the Roadie

- filed down the blades.

- And what did you do to Zooey?

Mm, guys, chill out.

- Zooey!

- PHIL: Where the hell were you?

- I was in the hallway.

- And before that?

Um

I was

Ooh.

I was, um

Talking on the phone with Jeffrey and

I think he broke up with me.

On the phone?

Classy.

Um, I think you're

automatically disqualified

from commenting on awkward breakups.

Anyway, I was talking on the phone

with Jeffrey and then I was

outside the conference room.

- [PHONE DINGS AND BUZZES]

- Let me see your eyes.

- It's too bright in here.

- I know.

It's a text from my mom.

"Turn on the TV, local

news, channel seven."

REPORTER: where

an unidentified couple

are in critical condition tonight,

their two pre-teen sons in

the care of social services

following a confrontation that

occurred earlier this evening.

Details are sketchy, but

early reports say that

one or both sons are responsible

for their parents' injuries.

However, Spotlight Seven

has discovered a strange link

between tonight's incident and a tragedy

that occurred under a year ago.

Questions still linger

about the expl*si*n

that caused the death

of the Travis family

Oh, dear.

REPORTER: but we've

discovered that both the Travises

and the unidentified

victims of tonight's incident

were clients of the same

shadowy real estate firm.

Um, we are so not shadowy.

We're a little shadowy.

and the police will not comment

on the details of tonight's incident

or the Travis expl*si*n.

But does this seeming coincidence

raise some troubling questions

for other clients of

the mysterious firm?

Reporting live, I'm Mari

[REMOTE CLATTERS ON TABLE]

We're so screwed.

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

[STRUGGLING FOR BREATH]

ALL: No!

Nice to see you, too.

- How'd you get in here?

- The security guy brought me up.

- He has a key.

- The security guy has a key?

Yeah, I think they gave it to

him roughly around the same time

they started calling

him "the security guy."

- What's going on here?

- It's a long story.

The punch line is you're gonna be

stuck in here with us for a while.

I'll explain in a minute.

Is that the food processor?

Uh, the last one in stock!

Plus I had a coupon for ten percent off.

Model number 6800-FYB. Brilliant.

Thank you.

- I, uh, hope the color's okay.

- Lovely.

Are you going to give it to somebody?

I'm certainly going to try.

[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC]

So, if that machine

didn't work the first time,

what makes you think

it's going to work now?

First, I maintain that it did work.

Second, on the remote

possibility that I am wrong,

I am significantly increasing the speed,

efficiency and lethality of the device.

So

we never did deconstruct

that "needy" remark.

Well, perhaps I was commenting

on your apparent need

to be with a certain

type.

[SCOFFS] Okay, I do not have a type.

I Jeffrey was nothing

like A.J. who was nothing

nothing like Chris.

I stand corrected.

[AUGUST WHISTLES HAPPILY]

I mean, none of them had,

like, careers to speak of but,

once again, that's not a type.

A.J. was studying to become a bartender.

Took the exam, like, three times.

Always tripped up on the mojito.

So, I came up with this secret phrase,

it's like a memory aid for him

to remember the ingredients

rum, lime, mint, club

soda, sugar, ice

Real Life Murders, Crime

Scene Investigators.

That's so simple, right?

Mmm Not for A.J.

And Chris?

Chris wrote poetry.

Used to go on these huge rants

about how social media was

commoditizing free verse.

"If everything's a

poem, nothing's a poem."

So, I suggested that maybe

she was better suited for

something like construction.

And let's just say that ended badly.

And Jeffrey

Jeffrey does stand-up.

Not very funny.

Not intentionally, at least.

Would you, uh, mind handing

me that small Allen wrench?

All I'm saying is that

you seem to need

projects rather than people.

[CONTEMPLATIVE MUSIC]

That's a terrible thing to say.

You should be with someone

wonderful.

But such people are

available fully assembled.

You needn't keep

acquiring them in kit form.

I'm not needy.

You're needy.

[CHUCKLES QUIETLY]

[MUSIC FADES OUT]

- MEGAN: I can't believe it.

- LUKE: What?

That I believe it.

More things than heaven

and earth, Horatio.

[GENTLE MUSIC]

I'm a science girl, Luke.

This haunted house demon

stuff is really a leap for me.

The Travis thing, that

really bothers you.

So, what really happened?

I got sloppy.

Complacent.

Naive.

I was so eager to believe that

everything would be all right

that I ignored that voice in my ear.

It's just, I'm

You already know this

I have this kind of connection

to these things all my life.

I don't just see them, I can feel them.

And I can talk to them.

And I can hear them

talk to me, if I listen.

Sometimes people around me,

they can see them.

They can talk to them

just because I'm there.

So, then, what happened

at the Travis house?

I didn't listen close enough.

SUSAN: What a waste.

Excuse me?

God, look at you.

You're so smart.

Fairly well-adjusted,

all things considered.

Objectively attractive.

But you are just like these

houses we're trying to sell.

Damaged.

Horribly damaged.

Susan!

Oh, come on!

You go from that Brock guy to Luke here?

You are the luckiest

woman on the planet.

You should be buying lotto tickets.

What?

You guys okay?

Well, Roadies seldom occupy

the same individual twice.

August, Zooey, is the

Roadie inside either of you?

- What?

- Just answer the question.

BOTH: No.

- How about you?

- No.

- Megan?

- Of course not.

Susan?

Come on, it's not

going to just tell you.

It's this old Nordic legend I found

a demon called a Tregastar.

When this thing takes you over,

you say

what you feel

and you cannot lie.

Were you always this dorky?

Or was that something that happened

when you and God broke up?

Susan, is it inside you?!

[DEMONIC GROWL]

PHIL: Ah! Oh!

[EDGY MUSIC]

The house! You live in the house!

- Screw this.

- The wonderful house.

Ah!

[GROWLING]

Get off!

Get her off of me!

[GROWLING]

- [GROWLING STOPS]

- [SUSAN THUDS TO FLOOR]

[DEVICE POWERS UP]

[DEVICE POWERS DOWN]

[EXCITING MUSIC ENDS]

SUSAN: Oh, my God!

Where is it, Augie? Did we get it?

- It rests in pieces.

- [PANTING]

[GENTLE MUSIC]

Put it up on the scope and make sure.

[BEEP]

We got five green. We're all good.

Nice work.

Ow!

Yeah, there's gonna be

some residual stiffness.

After having that thing bounce

around inside you a while.

No kidding. This must be

what it feels like to be 30.

- [SILENCE]

- Ohh.

I seriously need to

sleep for, like, two days.

Okay, I gotta get outta here.

Zooey, call down and have

them unlock the elevator.

Oh, yeah. Um

One thing.

So, just before we all

group hug and go home,

can we just acknowledge that

some of us

[EMOTIONAL MUSIC]

said some really hurtful

sh*t tonight and meant it?

We've been in each other's

faces all night and you

probably had enough of me.

Last thing you all need to do is

go to some stupid banquet tomorrow.

It's tonight.

Sorry.

[THUMPING PARTY MUSIC]

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

RITA WEISS: Is that her mother?

It's got to be her mother.

None of the others had the

guts to show their faces.

- BOB LIVINGSTON: I think that's best.

- But, Bob, seriously,

who brings their mother

to one of these things?

Leo DiCaprio brought

his mom to the Oscars.

Leonardo DiCaprio was king of the world.

Susan Ireland is, basically,

Daphne in Scooby Doo.

Well, they did give our

industry a huge slap in the face.

Can we just not hand out the award?

STACEY: Not an option.

Well, perhaps I can talk to her.

We used to be, uh

- Colleagues.

- Mmm.

STACEY: And what are you going to say?

I'll ask her to keep

it brief and tasteful.

She'll listen to me.

I'm a bit of a mentor.

Mm.

BOTH: Mentor.

Oh, go easy, honey. Remember,

you're speaking soon.

I'm targeting that fine line

that separates relaxed and witty

from actually opening with a d*ck joke.

I hope you hit it.

Susan, you look radiant.

A vision.

- How are you, Bob?

- Fantastic!

And this must be your sister?

My mom, Constance.

Mom, Bob Livingston.

He's the guy who stepped

out of the left-hand tub

in that b*ner pill commercial.

So much for that fine line.

What a magical evening.

Susan, could I borrow

you for half a shake?

Yep.

Great.

A pleasure to meet you, Constance.

Die in a fire, Bob.

BOB: How you doin'?

[GENTLE MUSIC]

You know, we were all very surprised

when you took the job with Roman.

It's so

Off-brand.

Running around with

that bunch of misfits.

- You're too good for this.

- You fired me, Bob.

I obviously wasn't too good for that.

Yeah, well that was because

of my wife and she insisted.

Oh, yeah, how is Twyla?

I saw her in here earlier,

checking that big fur coat

made from Dalmatian puppies.

I was hoping we could keep this civil.

Look, I'm just here as a friend

to ask you to keep your comments

brief and tasteful.

And not to reference your

current employer or his,

you know, band of weirdos.

It's my agency.

- And those are my friends.

- Oh.

Yeah?

Why aren't they here?

To support you.

I'm here, as a friend,

asking you to please,

please don't embarrass yourself.

And the rest of us.

And Susan

Congrats!

[DANCE MUSIC]

- Are you okay?

- STACEY: Good evening!

Everyone, please return to your seats.

[LIGHT CONVERSATIONS]

Good evening and welcome to the

awards portion of our program.

[APPLAUSE]

Ladies and gentlemen,

- please join me in

- [DOOR OPENS LOUDLY]

[FUNKY MUSIC]

God.

Sorry we're late.

You were right about

the personal maintenance.

Yeah.

As I was saying, please join me

- Hey.

- Hey.

in welcoming the

new eight-time laureate

of the Platinum Ring of Esteem

and the recipient of our special award

for lifetime achievement in the

real estate arts and sciences

- Susan Ireland!

- [UPLIFTING MUSIC]

[WHOOPS AND CHEERS]

[APPLAUSE AND CHEERS CONTINUE]

Have none of these people

seen the movie "Carrie"?

[MUSIC AND APPLAUSE FADE OUT]

Thank you.

There are many people

I want to acknowledge.

My mom, who is here.

My dad, who isn't,

although I kinda feel like he is.

I hope he'd have made time for it.

My current colleagues:

Luke, Phil, August and Zooey,

who gave me a work-home.

My former colleagues,

who made me realize I deserved one.

[SNORTS]

Hope they're wearing

their asbestos underwear.

But I want to thank all of you, too,

for believing in

something.

Anything.

Some of you believe in

me, and for that I am

more grateful than you could know.

[EMOTIONAL MUSIC]

Some of you believe in other things.

Odd things,

amazing things, beyond imagination.

You've opened my mind

and that's never a bad thing.

But, most of all, I want to thank you

all of you, everyone in this room,

for believing in this business.

Our business.

The good we do,

helping people move on

and find their way home.

Thank you.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[WHOOSH]

- Oh!

- Ah!

[CROWD REACTION]

The adoption police loved

us. They weren't mean at all.

They just wanted to check us out.

You know, get our views

on education and nutrition.

Running with scissors.

So, what's next?

Well, there's still a lot of

flaming hoops to jump through,

but so far so good.

What's wrong?

There's just something about last night.

Can't put my finger on it.

Hm.

You were great.

Hey. Thank you for coming.

That was a fine speech.

What you said about belief, believing

- Very true.

- Mm-hm.

But the truth isn't

always welcome, is it?

- [THUMPING MUSIC FROM ZOOEY'S CAR]

- It often comes with a cost.

Get in, Mister Needy.

I think I shall be

paying for it for a while.

Hm.

Hey, Susan!

You were pretty badass tonight.

[CHUCKLES]

[GENTLE MUSIC]

You really didn't have to come.

Yeah, we really did.

What are we gonna do?

That news story's gonna k*ll us.

We'll figure it out.

I just

I always try so hard to be positive.

To make people feel good and like me.

But I don't always say

everything I'm thinking.

I mean, who does?

But, Susan,

on your worst day,

I like you a lot.

[LAUGHS]

Still think she's lucky.

[QUIET CHUCKLES]

Thank you.

Hey! So, where to now?

Wanna grab a bite?

I want to go home.

You want to go to my place?

Mine.

My place.

I don't

Why do you want to go

there? I mean, we agreed

I didn't

[UBER CAR ARRIVED CHIME]

Did you call an Uber?

Megan?

[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC]

Megan, what's going on?

How are we tonight?

We are wonderful.

[ANIMALISTIC GROWL]

[SQUELCHING]

[DEMONIC VOICE) Now take us home.

[CAR ENGINE REVVING]

[CLOSING CREDIT THEME]