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01x02 - It's Easier to Catch a Liar Than a Thief

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Baby Bandito". Aired: January 31, 2024.*
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His name is Kevin Tapia. But in Europe he's known as "Il Baby Bandito". This is the story of the skater that pulled off the heist of the century in Chile.

01x02 - It's Easier to Catch a Liar Than a Thief

Post by bunniefuu »

["Soy yo" by Bomba Estéreo playing]

IT'S EASIER TO CATCH A LIAR THAN A THIEF

Hey, babe.

[music ends]

Do you know this guy, man?

[boy] No way, man.

So yeah, it's like an entire campsite.

- Have you seen this guy?

- No, I haven't.

- What is it?

- [ominous music playing]

Pass me your backpack.

Huh?

What's wrong?

[grunts] Go to the car, okay?

- What?

- I'll explain it to you there.

[Génesis] Kevin, what's going on?

That's the kid. You're f*cking dead.

[Génesis] Kevin!

[action music playing]

[panting]

[breathing heavily]

[echoing] m*therf*cker!

48 HOURS UNTIL THE HEIST OF THE CENTURY

[exhales]

You gonna tell me what happened?

I got into a fight the other day

with that guy.

He's still mad.

Kevin, I'm not stupid.

What are you doing?

[pensive music playing]

Géne

just trust me.

Get out.

BASED ON REAL EVENTS

MODIFIED FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE AND OURS

[machine trilling]

[beeping]

Hey, ma'am,

please don't hit the machines, okay?

This stupid machine is worthless!

What do you expect?

You're the one smacking it the entire day.

Come on, man. Just relax.

What the f*ck do you mean, "relax"?

This isn't even your place.

These old ladies flip the machine

upside down to get coins out of 'em.

THE TINY PEARL CYBER-SHOP

- [woman] Hide that, chubby.

- [slot machine chiming melodically]

[machine beeping]

- [Kevin] Who's that?

- [chiming]

[Panda] That's Mística.

- [rock music playing]

- [man 1 grunts]

Gimme the cash from the register,

everybody's wallet,

all of your cell phones too.

Now!

And strawberry gum

and a pack of cigarettes. All together.

[man 2 grunts]

- [tires screech]

- [sirens wail]

[siren wailing]

[music fades out]

[slot machines chiming melodically]

You see anything weird?

- No.

- [Panda] Mm-mm.

- [chiming continues]

- [coin clinks]

- [coin clinks]

- [machine trilling]

[scrambles, trills]

[officer] Let us know if you see anything.

I'll be back later.

Look after that for me. And no peeking!

[eerie music playing]

What's all this sh*t here?

[Kevin inhales]

Ooh.

Check it out, man.

THE WHEEL OF FORTUNE

- [Panda] What the hell is that?

- [Kevin] The wheel of fortune.

[door opens]

Your order's ready.

[man grunts]

I used the plates you gave me.

With the logos printed on both sides.

Everything in order. Impossible to detect.

[exhales]

Good.

Looks good.

I'd say it looks a little too good.

[chuckling]

What do you mean, it looks too good?

This thing looks like

it just came off the factory floor.

Take it for a drive.

Maybe scratch it up a bit, huh?

You have all the documents?

Documents?

[ominous music playing]

Registration.

[man sighs]

License, insurance.

[smacks lips, sighs]

- What happens if the cops stop me?

- [grumbles]

- This is not what we talked about when

- Okay, here's what's gonna happen.

I'm gonna get outta here,

and when I come back tonight,

everything's gonna be ready.

Don't make me waste time on this, as*h*le.

[music fades out]

Yeah? Will you do it?

Kevin, get the f*ck outta here.

I'm retired.

Was this Pedro's idea?

Yeah. He told me to come find you.

Damn loco, always dreaming big, man.

Thinking he's gonna end up

in the history books.

But where'd he end up?

In jail, just like everyone else.

Not like everyone else.

- I know how it went down.

- [keys jangling]

He could have turned you in,

got off scot-free, but what did he do?

He sacrificed himself for you.

And left his wife alone when he did,

and his young son too.

Leave me the f*ck alone. Don't you get it?

I'm not asking you for a favor, bro.

I'm offering you a job.

[Panther] Hmm.

My mom'd rather pay those narcos.

[poignant piano music playing]

Ana?

Why is she owing narcos money?

She's gotta put food on the table somehow,

doesn't she?

Hmm.

Enough.

[Kevin] Panther.

- Stop.

- [Kevin] We need help to get that money.

And you're it.

[distant siren wailing]

["Adrenalina" by Guerrero playing]

- [Panda] How'd it go?

- [Kevin] The Panther is in.

I think we need more people, dude.

- And pieces.

- [Panda sighs]

I got it.

You remember this chick, don't you?

The wheel of fortune.

I found out where she lives.

[both chuckling]

- Let's do this, bro.

- Hell yeah.

[both chuckling]

[Kevin] Let's call Panther.

[Kevin] You sure this is the place?

Why are you here?

[suspenseful ambient music playing]

[pigeon wings fluttering]

[Mística] You're the Panther, aren't you?

You two know each other?

This man is famous.

Great Avenida Mall.

Migrik Jewelers.

The National Treasury.

Stealth. Like they don't make 'em anymore.

Come on.

[pigeon wings fluttering]

- [Panther clears throat]

- Why all the mystery? What do you want?

We need weapons, major weapons.

[Mística] How much do you have?

[Panther sighs]

We don't have anything.

You're joking, aren't you?

We wanna work with you on our team.

I don't wanna be on your team.

I don't trust people,

and least of all men. Nothing personal.

We're offering the best you've ever done.

What do you know about what I've done,

you sh*t-eating kid?

- Is there a cat here?

- [Mística] Why?

- Because I'm allergic.

- [Mística] That's your problem.

[Panda] Come on, Mística.

Don't overthink it.

[Mística] There's nothing to think about.

Get out of here.

Well, Kevin, it looks like

we're wasting our time here.

Come on. Thanks.

Come on. Let's go.

Kevin.

[tense music playing]

What happened?

Why do you care what happened?

[Kevin] I don't wanna get into

your business.

And I don't know what the biggest heist is

that you've done.

But I know

that this one's gonna be better.

Perfect.

Exactly how much are we talking?

A billion.

[Kevin] Ask your cards.

And if they say no

we'll leave.

But if they say yes

at least give it some thought.

Hmm.

[Panda] What does that mean?

[tense music fades out]

- Get up.

- [Panda] What's wrong?

Get up, idiot.

Here, hold that.

[suspenseful music playing]

See anything you like?

It's everything I've got.

Just take it easy, kid.

They are loaded by the Devil.

And shot by idiots. Gimme that.

- [cell phone vibrates]

- [Panther scoffs]

INCOMING CALL

- [Panther] Hmm.

- [Kevin] Hello?

Where you at?

[Kevin] I'm busy.

I'll call you later, okay?

When are you gonna tell me

what you're up to?

[Kevin] I can't talk now.

- I'll explain everything later, okay?

- Who are you with then?

[Kevin] Some friends from high school.

[Mística] From crime school.

Actually, I got a master's degree in that.

[Kevin] I'll call you later.

[sighs]

We need to make sure

we've got all the details right.

And the last thing we want

is to draw attention to ourselves.

No fights, commotion, nothing.

If we need to buy something,

never in large amounts.

It's better to split large purchases up

into smaller ones.

The tattoos have to be covered.

And any piercings, out.

You can't just do what you want.

You have to listen to me.

- Is that clear?

- Mm-hmm.

[Panther] Okay, Kevin, tell us the plan.

[Kevin] This is the money truck.

It'll be loaded with a billion pesos

from the Central Bank.

At 5:40 a.m.,

it will arrive at Santiago Airport.

Three and a half minutes later,

it'll pull in to hangar 19 for 20 minutes

while they fuel the plane

that'll take the money north.

At 5:45 a.m., we arrive.

After entering

through the same entry gate,

we'll go into hangar 18,

directly next door.

- [keypad beeps]

- We put in the access code, go in.

Neutralize the guards,

grab the money, and leave.

We'll take this route out.

To the east exit.

It's less direct, but it's the safest.

How much time do we have?

- From the moment we enter, three minutes.

- And why so little?

[Kevin] It's the time it takes

for the police to get to the hangar.

[Panther] Okay.

Difficult, but not impossible.

The most important thing,

do not speak a word of this

to anyone, no one.

You got that, Kevin?

Now this van, how do we get it?

Chill. I got it all covered.

["Sí, Señor" by Control Machete playing]

Always point it down.

That's it. And then you can load it.

Try this one.

Target practice, Kevin.

Yeah, you point first, and then you go.

[chuckles]

[automated voice] Leave your message

after the tone.

[music continues]

[music fades out]

[crackling]

[music resumes]

- [chuckles] Perfect disguise for Panda.

- [all chuckle]

Here. You put this on like this.

[chuckles]

That's right.

I get down.

- Now, back on your knees.

- Careful where you're pointing that.

That's enough, man.

That's enough. That's it.

[music continues]

[busy signal]

- [music ends]

- [dog barking in distance]

- [chuckles] Hey, man.

- [chuckles] Hello.

- How are you doing?

- Good, and you?

- [girl] You like how the mural turned out?

- Yeah, it's awesome. But I gotta go.

See you.

See you.

Are you doing some exercise, idiot?

Huh?

[slot machine chiming melodically]

Get back to work, you lazy piece of sh*t.

That's the van, man, the one we gotta get.

That van.

- It's good?

- Yes.

Here. Take it.

[car horn honking]

[mother] Hello.

[dryly] Hello there.

Guess who I brought home for you.

What did I tell you, Mom?

[footsteps approach]

Hey, Géne.

[Génesis] What are you doing here?

The thing is,

Nachito wants to tell you something.

Yeah, what is it?

[paper shuffles]

AUCKLAND, NEW ZEALAND

SANTIAGO, CHILE

You remember, right?

Our vacations.

[ominous music playing]

[Russian] Greyhound, listen to me.

I checked around.

The kid you're looking for

lives in El Pantano.

- I just sent you the location.

- Yeah.

[ominous music continues]

THE TINY PEARL CYBER-SHOP

[engine stops]

[slot machines chiming melodically]

[car door shuts]

[printer whirring]

[tense music playing]

Uh. How can I help you?

Do you have cigarettes?

[printer whirring]

No.

[chuckles softly]

Those decorations?

What kind?

The orange ones. Gimme two packs.

[tense music continues]

You know this kid?

No.

Take a good look.

[Panda gasps]

You know him or not?

- [music intensifies]

- [Panda breathing shakily]

[whispers] No.

[Greyhound exhales]

[gasps]

[breathing heavily]

[phone dialing]

[car door shuts]

- [sighs]

- [line ringing]

[car engine starts]

- Answer, man. Come on, answer.

- [line ringing]

- Answer, man.

- [line ringing]

We've been planning this

for a long time, Géne.

I thought we were drunk on the beach.

- We obviously weren't serious.

- I was being super serious.

- It was so set when we talked about it.

- It wasn't set.

What makes you think

I'm gonna quit my degree

in the middle of the year

and take a work holiday in Australia?

- New Zealand.

- [Génesis] Same thing.

Not interested.

But you can take a year off.

Look.

We can get a place.

Have a good time, like tourists.

Your parents are already fine with it.

- You talked to my parents?

- Yeah.

Since when do they decide my life for me?

[cell phone chiming, vibrating]

[beeps]

Hello?

Uh, it's Panda.

Yeah? What's up?

[Panda] No, nothing. It's just that, um

Have you seen Kevin?

No, I've been calling him,

but he doesn't answer.

[Panda] Just, there's a guy

looking for him.

- The one from the skate park?

- [Panda] Ah, sh*t!

- This guy's f*cking dangerous.

- What happened to Kevin?

[Panda] Génesis,

if they get to Kevin, they'll k*ll him.

Help me find him, please.

Bye.

[metal creaking]

Yes?

[Kevin] Hi.

I'm here to pick up the order

that my boss arranged from you.

Nobody told me you were coming.

My uncle didn't tell you?

He's got so much on his mind,

he forgets this kind of stuff.

[suspenseful music playing]

Yep.

I could tell him

you didn't wanna give it to me.

[clock ticking]

You said it's who?

My uncle.

I work for him.

The family business.

Yeah, so I've heard.

[music building]

[music fades out]

7 HOURS UNTIL THE HEIST OF THE CENTURY

[grunts]

[indistinct chatter on TV]

[tense ambient music playing]

What do you want?

[Greyhound sighs deeply]

I'm here for something that's mine.

[sighs]

[Ana] I need a couple more days.

I couldn't get the money together.

[inhales deeply]

Do you think I'm a f*cking moron?

[gasps]

Do you want your son to walk in

and find your head smashed like a piñata?

What do you say?

And you?

Cat got your tongue?

[tense music continues]

- [music ends]

- [cigarette hisses]

[breathes shakily]

- [g*n c*ck]

- [whimpers]

Where is that f*cking as*h*le c*cksucker?

What do you think?

It's fantastic.

A little bit dirty, I'd say.

You're earlier than expected.

I don't have the paperwork.

Paperwork?

[tense ambient music playing]

For the van, like we said.

Ah.

Don't worry about it.

I'll sort it out with my uncle.

I'll go get the keys.

[breathes deeply]

Shame you don't wanna cooperate.

[Ana murmuring anxiously]

- [whimpers softly]

- [Greyhound sighs]

[tense music building]

[music swells]

- [cell phone rings, vibrates]

- [murmurs]

[cell phone rings, vibrates]

Hello?

[mechanic] There's a young kid here

who says he's your nephew,

and that you sent him to pick up the van.

[chuckles softly]

[chuckles softly]

[sighs]

[ominous music playing]

[tense music playing]

[clattering]

[engine starts]

[muffled murmuring]

- [Panda pants]

- [sighs]

[Ana murmuring]

- [gasps] Where's Kevin?

- [Panda] I dunno. I'm looking for him too.

[sinister music playing]

[Greyhound] Lock it up,

and don't come back until tomorrow.

- You sure, Greyhound?

- What did I just say?

[gate clanks shut]

[van door opens]

I was with your mom and grandma just now.

Really nice ladies, aren't they?

What did you do, as*h*le?

Nothing.

But I can always go back another day.

[Kevin grunting]

- [Greyhound grunting]

- [Kevin gasping, screaming]

[Kevin gasping]

[spluttering]

- [Kevin] Here.

- Ah, you know what?

[Kevin] I'm not gonna tell anybody, man.

Take it.

[both breathing heavily]

I almost admire you, man.

Almost.

[Kevin gasping]

[screaming]

[Greyhound grunting]

[tense music playing]

[music building]

[grunts]

[panting]

[shovel clatters]

[Panther] Here.

Come on. Let's go, kid.

[both grunt]

Come on. Come on! Let's go.

[Kevin grunts]

[panting]

So the plan didn't come from Pedro?

You stole it from the Butchers,

didn't you?

What were we gonna do, huh?

Find ourselves face to face

They wouldn't have gotten there.

We had their rig.

They could take another car, you idiot!

What were we gonna do with the money?

Split it 50-50?

Make those f*ck rich?

Was that your idea, dumbass?

[Kevin] Look out!

- [Panther pants]

- [g*n c*ck]

[shuddering]

You all right, man? You okay, man?

- Are you okay? Answer me!

- Yes.

Yeah? [panting]

[both breathing heavily]

[somber ambient music playing]

Do you have any idea the sh*t we're in?

Yeah.

This never should have happened.

That's the first smart thing

you've said, Kevin.

- This never should have happened.

- [cell phone ringing]

[vibrating, ringing]

[vibrating, ringing]

[vibrating, ringing]

Do you know who that guy was?

[cell phone vibrating, ringing]

He wasn't just any Butcher.

- He's the boss's son.

- [vibrating, ringing]

DAD CALLING

[breathing anxiously]

Uh, take the the van.

I'm gonna take care of this sh*t.

Now get outta here.

[breathes heavily]

[somber music playing]

This is between us.

I did this. It wasn't you, it was me.

Is that clear?

[Kevin] It's clear.

Hey, Géne! Géne, where are you going?

- Why do you care?

- [Ignacio] Listen to me, please.

I'd love to not care

what you do with your life

who you see.

But I'm asking you

to give me another chance.

We could have fun.

Go to the beach, like we used to.

Ignacio

can you not make this even harder for me?

The last thing I want is to hurt you.

[inaudible chatter]

- [engine idling]

- [reggaeton music playing on stereo]

[volume increasing]

[music fades in distance]

Let me go!

- Stay with me

- Ignacio.

- Géne, we can do this. Sh.

- f*ck. I said stop.

- Just let me be your boyfriend.

- Let go of me!

- Come on. Génesis, don't be crazy.

- I mean it.

- That lowlife is no good for you.

- What's the matter? Ow! You're hurting me.

- Géne.

- Let me go, dude! My dad's here!

[music growing louder]

- She's running off with that scumbag!

- [Génesis] Wait!

- [Ignacio] With that scum!

- [van tires screech]

[Génesis] Stop!

[music continues]

[both panting]

[Génesis] Hurry up!

Génesis! No!

- Wait, Génesis! Génesis, no!

- Let go!

[clatters]

[music continues]

- Génesis!

- Génesis!

Génesis!

[music drowns out background]

[music fades]

[Kevin groans, inhales sharply]

Don't move.

[groans softly]

[sighs]

For being dumb, that's what you get.

[breathes deeply]

Last thing I wanted was to lie to you.

I find it really hard to believe you.

Were you really gonna rob the airport?

It's fine if you wanna leave.

[sighs]

[Kevin] I understand.

Why would I leave

when I wanna be with you?

[tender ambient music playing]

- [dog barking]

- [footsteps rustling]

- [tense music playing]

- [breathing heavily]

[grunts]

[cell phone keypad beeping]

[cell phone ringing, vibrating]

You better tell me where the f*ck you are.

We have Greyhound.

If you wanna see him again,

then you better do exactly what I say

and when I say it.

- Huh?

- [Panther] Did you hear me?

Wait for instructions,

and don't even think about

doing anything stupid.

Is that clear?

[boss] Hide if you want to, m*therf*cker,

but I will find you.

[cell phone beeps]

They got Greyhound.

The plan is a no-go.

- [tense music continues]

- [sniffs]

[engine revs]

[ominous music playing]

[weapon clacking]

- What's she doing here?

- We're together.

Now she's part of the team.

- Is this a joke?

- [Kevin] We all need that money.

And we all know

what it's like to not feel welcome.

You,

you,

you,

and her too.

We're all welcome here.

And we're gonna do this together.

And it's gonna be perfect.

[dramatic music playing]

[music building]

[tires screech]

[music intensifies]

[music swells, fades out]

CHILE INTERNATIONAL AIRPOR

CARGO TERMINAL

- Good morning.

- Good morning.

- [guard] Where you headed?

- Going to bay seven.

Hangar 19.

[guard] Bay seven, hangar 19.

[comm device beeps]

[suspenseful music playing]

[phone ringing]

[indistinct chatter over security comms]

[comm device beeps]

You're good.

Pull in.

Thanks.

[music continues]

There it is.

[Mística] Hurry up.

[keypad beeping]

BAY 7

[keys clacking]

[keypad beeping]

[Panther breathes anxiously]

[breath trembles]

Remember, Kevin. Remember, Kevin.

Remember, Kevin. Remember, Kevin.

[beeping]

Three minutes, brother.

[timers beep]

[ticking]

[dramatic music playing]

[comm device beeps]

Hangar 19, do you read me?

[Panther] You stay here with Panda.

Motherfuckin' sh*t.

Hangar 19? Over.

[comm device beeping]

[guard, over comms] Alert in hangar 19.

Do you copy?

In proximity, Cavoso.

What's the situation?

[guard] Unknown armed individuals

have entered the hangar.

- I need backup.

- [engine revs]

- [siren wails]

- [tires screech]

[dramatic music continues]

[ticking continues]

[sirens wailing]

POLICE

CENTRAL ZONE

So I saw it happen, and suddenly, I was

- [Panther] Everybody freeze!

- [guards gasp]

[Kevin] Hands up.

[Panther] Down on the ground.

[Mística] Get on the ground.

- Move it. Walk!

- [Panther] Let's go. Hurry up.

[Kevin] Walk, dude.

[dispatcher] Attention.

All units en route to the airport.

Robbery in progress.

[Mística] Move and I'll k*ll you.

[Kevin] That's our money, Panther.

- Is that a billion?

- [Panther] It's more.

- [Kevin chuckles]

- We can't take it all. We don't have time.

Excuse me.

What are you waiting for? Hurry up!

Let's go. We have two minutes.

[sirens wailing]

[suspenseful music playing]

[guard] Stop there!

- Freeze!

- Drop the g*n.

Drop yours.

[suspenseful music continues]

[Panda] Nobody move!

[Panda grunts]

[Kevin] Panda!

[reggaeton music playing]

[music intensifies]

[music fades]