01x05 - Star-Tel-Lite

[bunniefuu]

I'm actually looking to buy

a very specific property.

Jimmer Jarvis.

Nice to meet you.

- Mom.

- My little girl.

Someone sent me a postcard.

- Frances?

- I came to help.

- Yaaaaah!

- [ Grunts ]

Frances, run! [ expl*si*n ]

Sick.

What the f*ck?!

What the f*ck?!

I think this f*cking

dude is still alive!

He's still He's

still f*cking twitching!

Knock it off, Rusty.

What?

Alright, now, you, who are you?

Turtleman's girlfriend?

- It's okay. Okay.

- No, she's

she's not my girlfriend.

I mean

- Okay, who was this guy?

I think he was

trying to k*ll me.

Or take my

Look, it's a long story.

I like stories.

You like stories, Rusty?

Rusty likes stories.

Seems like you got a real

interesting story here, guy.

So why not you come inside

right now and tell us a story?

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Alright, who's after you?

Uh, the DEA, definitely.

But I don't think that was

them. [ Cellphone buzzes ]

Um, Big Pharma, probably.

I have a half brother

who seems kind of obsessed

with what's going on.

Oh, maybe a crazy mycologist,

uh, and her disciples.

A mycologist is a

specialist or expert in

I know the f*ck a mycologist is!

Sorry. Sorry. Yeah. So

Okay, you guys, this night has

been really scary and crazy.

But this man, Marshall,

I'm telling you,

he can change the world if he

can just grow his mushroom.

This mushroom heals anything?

Tommy's got some

stuff wrong with him.

Real wrong. Hehe.

You don't have to

hug him or anything.

He's got sludge spots.

Unless you're a sludgie

chaser, they're out there.

Lotta kids around

here are Sludgies.

Th-They don't like

that term. Come on.

I don't mind it.

We're reclaiming it.

[ Coughing ]

My lungs is like

toast. Barely work.

There's no hope for him.

One night he'll

just choke and die.

Gurgling, probably,

like [Gurgling]

This is because

of the waste site?

Yep. There's no

hospital for 60 miles.

Tommy's got no insurance

anyway. What're you waiting for?

Give him your magic

shroom medicine.

Come on.

- I want to, but right now,

I only have two mushrooms left.

You're gonna give it to him.

Okay, Tommy, there's a side

effect that you might feel.

Your mind is gonna just

kinda go to a place.

Try and just take

it in, okay, bud?

Go ahead. You got it.

Just chew and swallow.

Does it taste disgusting?

♪♪

[ Breathes deeply ]

♪♪

[ Strained breathing ]

♪♪

[ Breathing deeply ]

♪♪

Listen to him breathing!

He's like normal.

[ Exhales deeply ]

sh*t, I've seen a miracle today.

[ Grunting ]

Okay. Well, I think we

can forget about that, uh,

wild hog that blew up.

Right. Yes.

It was just an accident.

Your typical hog accident.

You're talking about the guy?

And you think you can

grow this thing here?

Okay, a few hours ago there

was some kind of expl*si*n.

Now it's all handshakes?

What is that? A barbecue?

Cooking up ribs or something.

He took her back to his trailer.

Is he about to m*rder her?

Look, maybe headquarters

doesn't need to know exactly

where we are, but we

gotta stay on this.

Okay, we can keep

eyes on him. For now.

But I'm not loving our

sight-lines on the trailer.

Could use some

kind of elevation.

Hi! We're with Star-Tel-Lite.

It's a new satellite TV company.

Your roof has the

proper exposure

to the Southern Hemisphere,

and we're offering a new

program to rural subscribers

that could land you

one year of free TV.

Are you messing

with me right now?

No, sir.

Get the hell out of

here! That is so cool!

Damn, we're lucky.

- Really lucky.

We're offering this to less

than one in 17,000 homes.

Wow, that's like

less than

Southern exposure. Wow.

Everything sterilized,

all different soil combos.

But nothing grew.

I tried agar, I tried syringing

out spores, I tried

Okay, is it possible you're

too smart for your own good?

When you found the mushroom

in Peru, it was just growing?

Yeah, on the valley floor.

Have you tried that?

What? Like just grow

it on the ground?

I mean, that is

where stuff grows.

[ Cellphone buzzing ] Oh.

Uh

Oh, it's my mom.

Oh, sorry, yeah. Yeah.

Frances, what the hell

am I looking at here?

I mean in the video you

sent, not on the TV.

I think it's a

German reality show?

"Housewives of"

But they're married to

their dogs, I don't know.

Okay, wow, really captivating,

Rick, but please listen?

It's 100% real, and it works.

Okay? I just need some time.

This will be huge for us.

- Could it save my job?

- M-Maybe.

Well, where are you? We can

send help if you need it.

No. Rick, no. I

don't need help.

You just Look, I'm gonna

be gone for awhile, okay?

I'm trying to figuring out

- Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Do you not get what kind of

predicament we're in right now?

My job is hanging by a thread.

Our earnings report

comes out Thursday,

and spoiler alert, it sucks!

[ Sighs ] I mean,

really, Frances.

Do you know how bad

my life is right now?!

[ Knock on door ]

Oh, great, now my

room service is here.

Rick!

Rick, can you just

We could be onto

something huge here.

Alright, alright.

You know, funny story,

when I was on my high

school baseball team

Bye, Rick. [ Cellphone beeps ]

I found some yaupon

and made some tea.

It's North America's only

native caffeinated plant.

Well, dahoon, but you're

not gonna find that in

You picked Star-Tel-Lite.

And it was your idea.

[ Indistinct conversation ]

♪♪

Okay, dude. Amazing news.

Who is that on our roof?

That's what I was

about to tell you.

We might be eligible, man!

Oh, God damn it, Rusty.

Does it seem like a good time

to have strangers poking around?

Hey, guys.

- Oh, h-hey, there.

So, uh, you're with the

satellite company, are ya?

Uh, mm-hmm. Yeah,

Star-Tel-Lite.

Wow. Well, lucky us, huh?

Very lucky, actually.

Great access to

the southern sky.

Yeah, so the problem here

is, we don't take solicitors.

Rusty here forgot about that.

Yeah, plus I'm not supposed

to have too much screen time.

No worries. Ha! That's fine.

Sounds like the best

thing for us to do

is, uh, probably just

leave you folks alone.

Yeah.

Probably damn right.

We cool?

We cool.

Okay!

♪♪

[ Chuckles softly ]

[ Country music

playing, door dings ]

Frances, I'm just gonna

grab some trash bags,

but check the place out.

There's all kinds of

interesting livestock feeds.

♪♪

♪♪

Growing anything interesting

by the waste site?

[ Scoffs ] You

look city to me.

Of course he'd pick you,

little city cinnamon

roll all to himself.

Okay! [ Chuckles nervously ]

[ Chuckles ]

[ Door dings ]

Ohh.

Okay, ready to go?

Yeah, yeah!

[ Camera whirs ]

[ Engine shuts off ]

Hey, brought you some barbecue!

Aw, thanks! Wow,

smells delicious.

Wait. This isn't

Just to make sure, this

isn't meat from the, uh,

"hog" we discussed earlier.

Ha, come on, man. We

ain't sickos like that.

We did smoke the guy.

Then we fed that to a hog.

Then we smoked the hog.

Huh.

I'll, um, save it

for a midnight snack.

Listen, there's a van about a

quarter mile down that road.

They say they're from the cable

company but they might be lying.

Uncle JJ thinks they

might be government.

Gah. Alright.

Thanks for the heads-up.

[ Camera whirring ]

Hmm.

He's coming towards us.

What?

What do we do?

We do nothing. You do nothing.

I'll do something if

we have to do some

Hello? Look, I know

you're in there

and I know you can hear me.

Are you here to k*ll me?

No. No. I-I think

you're government.

Now, if you're gonna arrest

me, here's your chance!

You won't find anything ill*gal.

I can prove that in court.

No, huh? So you're

just spying on me?

Well, what do you see?

I mean, really, do you think I'm

the real criminal in this world?

Just give me one more day, okay?

Please.

And by the way, if

you've read this thing

about me being a

Peruvian serial k*ller,

that's ridiculous.

I'm not El Chacal.

I'm non-violent.

Oh, uh, if the biker guys offer

you any barbecue, do not eat it.

We're just gonna drop it?

This just doesn't

seem scientific.

Well, what did science

ever do for us?

Nuclear bombs?

Steam power,

bioweapons, aspartame,

thalidomide, the Internet,

OxyContin, Ozempic,

microwaves,

penicillin, rocketry.

It's a mixed bag.

Okay.

Marshall, Socrates was there

when you found it, right?

Uh, nearby.

Why don't you put him down?

Maybe he's smarter than us.

About this, anyway.

Go for it, bud.

It's so beautiful here.

Yeah, it kind of reminds me

of this place in Joshua Tree,

Upside Down Elephant Rock?

Similar tranquility. And

there's this special rock.

It looks like an

upside-down elephant.

[ Chuckling ] Oh, got it.

I'll know it when I see it.

So, is this the spot?

Is this the spot, Socrates?

Hm. Guess he picked it.

Okay. I guess it's time.

This has to work.

Whoa.

What's our backup plan

if we never grow more?

Human race continues to

be miserable forever?

Oh! But we'll have tried.

♪♪

Look, I acknowledge I'm on

a bit of a hot seat here.

We both know that.

But if this comes

through, it could change

the pharmaceutical

game as we know it.

Revenue possibilities?

I mean, infinite.

Infinite. Infinite revenue?

You amuse me, Rick.

You're a classic type

the American bullshitter.

Um

Okay, I'm gonna

show you something

that one of my top research

people is working on, okay?

Listen to him breathing.

He's like normal.

So? Right?

Richard. My dear friend.

You can't trust

videos these days.

Deepfakes and so on.

My son, he's 7 years old,

and he showed me a video

where Coco Melon, is in

conference with the Pope!

It looked quite real!

But it's just a bit

of clever fakery.

Rick. Forget videos.

Um

You look like you

could use some air.

We on the Board think it's time

to begin discussing your

transition elsewhere.

♪♪

[ Sighs ]

♪♪

Cecily, our people

are reporting a very

troubling thing.

There's a video of a man

using the poison mushroom

that we discussed.

Okay, I thought you were

taking care of that.

Ah. Yes.

We had someone on it,

but it seems we lost him.

Okay, so what is your plan?

We have the location,

North Carolina.

I'll send it to you.

Okay, okay.

He's wanted in New York.

We can bring him in.

Good, keep me posted.

Ciao. [ Cellphone beeps ]

[ Snoring ]

[ Birds chirping ]

Oh, my God!

Marshall! Marshall!

[ Door bangs ]

- Ah.

[ Panting ]

Wait.

We We did it?

♪♪

- Oh, my God.

- Oh, my God!

- Marshall, it worked.

- Yes!

It's everywhere. Frances, look.

- Socrates found the spot.

And it worked. It worked!

We did it! Yeah!

Yes!

Uhh. Sorry, what's happening?

They grew their mushrooms maybe?

So what's our move here?

Maybe he was right.

Maybe he's not doing

anything ill*gal.

Still, this is a lot of weird

sh*t to not be ill*gal somehow.

Ah. They're so beautiful.

It's so cool.

I was thinking

maybe I'd take some,

make a quick trip

up to see to my Mom,

and then I could come back

and m and just get

Hey. You okay?

I-I-I am. I just

It's just so enormous,

the range of

possibilities, you know?

I'm I don't know.

Like Hildy said, this

kind of power is

And we have no idea what other

side effects there might be.

And how many will grow?

How do we get it out?

What's gonna be the overhead?

- Hey, hey.

- I mean, there's just

Let's not think

about that right now.

Well, who gets the

mushroom first, right?

That's important. Oldest

people? The sickest?

And, like, what if

someone's super sick

but they're also super r*cist?

Does that guy still get it?

- Marshall. Marshall.

- I know, I know. Just

- Take Take a breath.

- Okay.

Okay? Look.

You're gonna have

this great product.

You'll You'll

be able to relax.

Wait. Product?

Frances, we have a chance

here to change the world!

This isn't a product.

It should be free!

It could grow everywhere!

No more insurance, no

more prescriptions,

no more evil companies.

You don't have to stay sick

just because you

don't have money.

What happened to your mom, that

should happen for everyone.

That would be so wonderful.

I-I want that. I

want that world.

Good, good.

- You can make that world?

- I can try.

The only people who'd lose

would be pharma execs,

but, hey, maybe they can

work in urban planning.

Right. Okay.

Marshall, I think

I can help you.

We can do this the right way.

I don't know. You think so?

Do we even know if this works?

Should we I dunno, try it?

I've never taken it

when I'm healthy.

So many crazy things

have happened.

Why not add shrooms to the mix?

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

You saved my life.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Frances? This better

be worth my time.

Frances, how could you?

♪♪

Whoa. Where was that?

No, that that

that's the Portal.

Okay. Marshall, I

I think I have to

tell you something.

I

[ Vehicle approaches ]

- What's that?

Marshall, I

[ Siren chirps ]

Marshall Cuso?

♪♪

Yes.

Marshall Cuso, you

are under arrest

for the arson of

private property

in the State of New York.

You have the right

to remain silent.

Okay! I'm Jimmer Jarvis,

sheriff of this township.

What's going on here.

- Yeah? And we're state.

Take a back seat.

- The f*ck you just say?

Look, he's just cargo to us.

He's getting sent to New

York. Let us do our jobs.

You've been traded to

the Yankees, buddy!

Oh, my Oh, my God, Marshall,

what what do

you want me to do?

Pack everything

up. Everything.

And just go home.

I'll be out soon.

Marshall, please, I-I

really need to talk to you.

I

♪♪

I'm sorry.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

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