01x06 - Your Success is Not my Failure

[bunniefuu]

- People, like,
downplay social media sometimes

when it's really my livelihood.
- Yeah.

- That's how I pay
my mortgage, my car note.

All my OGs told me that,
"All you do is be on your phone."

I said, "Yeah, because I make

anywhere from $75,000 to $100,000"...
- Talk your sh*t, girl.

- Per post.
"...per, per post."

- Blac Chyna got a Lambo
off of pinky toes.

- The way has changed so much.
Yeah.

- You know, y'all should come to TikTok.

- Oop, oop!

- But I can't do a TikTok
with a 70-year-old.

Get outta here.
- Get outta here!

- Stop lyin'!

Let's raise a glass.

All right, y'all,
we gon' get into the juicy stuff.

- When you step into the ring,
man, what is your mind?

- What I try to do
is just get into someone's mind.

- Yeah.

- Before I even enter the ring,

my, uh, walkout song,
anytime I have a chance,

the national anthem.

- Why was that?
- It's the worse song to walk out to.

Think about it.

My opponent, he's walkin' to the ring,

his music's poppin', it's, like, a song,

he's in a zone.

And then my song comes out,
and it's the national anthem.

Now there's an awkward silence,

and everyone has
to stop what they're doing,

stand up, and pay attention to me.

It's a, it's a troll move.
- Ooh.

- So, I own a beauty brand.

I started off as a hairstylist.
Amazing.

- And I started sellin' hair
out the trunk of my car.

And usin' social media allowed me
to show my craft and my products

to millions of people for free.

I would-- could literally post
a picture on my website,

and make hundreds
of thousands of dollars in minutes.

- I'm gonna start you off
with a little rosé.

Y-You drink a lotta wine?

- I do. I'm usually a sauvignon blanc
type of person.

- Oh! You do drink wine.
You know your wines.

- I drink wine.

Oh, we have a guest comin' up.
What's up, Chef?

- What's up? What's up?
- Would you like some as well?

- Chef, thank you, man.
Hey, welcome.

I appreciate it, man.
Wow.

- How old is this kid?
Is he old enough to drink?

Get outta here with that.

This is a rosé.

It's J. Moss Winery in Napa.

And it's owned by James Moss,
who's African American.

- Love that for me.

- And, uh, he's had his winery
down there since the early 2000s.

It's like a cult wine.

If you can find it, grab it, hold it.
Right.

- Dope.

- I understand you both had
a little bit of a culinary background.

And as a chef, I-I wanna
delve into that 'cause I-I--

So, what famous kitchens did you work in?

- Uh, you might've heard of it,

it's very elite kitchen
called The Cheesecake Factory.

- Wow.
Wow.

- That is elite, though.

- That is elite.
- Top-Top tier. I got, I got fired.

- How did you get fired
from The Cheesecake Factory?

- I was writing jokes
downstairs in the inventory room.

- Instead of taking my order...

- Instead of taking your order...
- ...you were downstairs writin' jokes.

- ...I was down writin' bits.

My supervisor, he says, uh,
"What were you doin' downstairs?"

I was like, "I was just writin' jokes."
- Yeah.

- He said, "Well, you should do that then
'cause I gotta let you go."

Whoa.
- So, that was, that was the end of my--

But, in turn, I went to the comedy club

and just started kinda
really pursuin' it, so.

- Well, joke's on him.
Yeah, yeah.

- Right?!
- Oh, wow.

- I actually have culinary experience...

- Yeah.
- ...and I actually--

- You cooked?
Yeah, I did.

- Where did you cook at?
- McDonald's.

- See.

- Told-- It's even more elite.

- I go there just for the fries
and only the fries.

- Anything you say to 'em before the fight
when you're standin' nose to nose?

- I'm just very kind.

All right, look.

- Oh, face-off?
Yeah.

- Hey, man.
- I'ma whoop your a*s, boy.

- Good luck tonight.

You don't mean that.
- I'ma whoop your a*s.

- I love you too.
- I'm ready for you.

- Now, as we're walkin' to the ring,

I will stop you and hug you and say,
"Good luck tonight for the fight."

But because you've been training so hard,
you don't wanna hug me.

But the judges, they know that

sportsmanship is a part
of the scoring system.

So, you do have to hug me.

But you know it's not genuine.

I know it's not genuine.

The crowd doesn't know that.

And I'm already in your head.

Hug it out, man. Hug it out. Hug it out.

Yeah.

It's all a mental game.

- This is really beautiful,
whatever's going on here.

- Sharin' a moment.

- These, like, hugs, like, it's very rare
that you get to see male affection,

so I'm just really lovin'
what's happening over here.

What about you?

- Um, I have a very interesting
relationship to social media.

Like, I started in theater,

so it was not goals
or aspirations necessarily

to even get onto-- on TV, in a film.

Like, I was really a theater-driven
young actor when I started.

So, I don't really know
how to represent myself on social media.

- I don't wanna cut you off,

but dinner--
- But I'ma cut you off.

- I'm gonna cut you off.
Exactly. In my way.

Dinner is ready.

Are you ready to eat?

Yes.
- Let's go.

I came ready to eat.
- Okay.

- That's why we're here.

- You got your inner Sade today.
- I do.

- Or you called it--
What'd you say, "Zendaya?"

- Little Sade meets Zendaya.
But enough about us.

- No, you're, you're a sweet operator.

- Oh, thank you.
It's "smooth," but thanks.

- In, in Britain, it's "sweet."
Yeah.

- But she's from Britain.

For those of you that have the crayfish,

it's a crayfish bisque.

And, uh, for those
who don't have the, uh, crayfish,

you have a tomato bisque.

And I hope you're enjoyin' it.

- This is really good.

I'm not normally a bisque person.

Me either.
No?

So, you put the rice in to thicken it,
and then you take it out,

and the flavor is a lot clearer with rice

than it is with potatoes.

- I-I didn't wanna get my hands dirty,

but I will, usually,
with the Louisiana meat,

you know, suck the head.

She know. She know.
This is my Louisiana sister.

- I'm not stopping you. Go ahead.

- I'm obsessed with New Orleans.
It's a lotta work, though.

- I spent, like, six months in New Orleans
and fell in love with crawfish.

- Is there a place you haven't lived?

You guys, he spent the entire lockdown
in Korea not locked down.

- Yeah, no.
Why?
Really?

- What were you doin' there?
I was filming a show,

and I was in Korea
for, like, eight months.

So, when we wrapped and I came home,
lockdown was over.

It was already, like, June or July.

So, all my friends were like, "Oh, my God,
we were here. We got stimulus checks."

- That sound like
some Black spy work to me.

I don't know if I trust this narrative.

- I learned durin' the pandemic,
I didn't wanna be a person,

I wanted to be a business.

- Right.
'Cause they gave everybody--

Everybody was happy
about their $1,200 checks,

but y'all know what they gave
business owners with a LLC?

- And you didn't have to pay it back.

And forgivable. Yeah.
You didn't have to pay it back.

So, it's, like, then I realized,
no, you should be a LLC.

We should be teachin' our people
how everything should be written off

and how business actually works.
- Yeah.

- 'Cause if you were happy
about the $1,200,

you didn't know about
what else you coulda been gettin'.

- That's a word.

- And they made some
OnlyFans millionaires out there too.

Blac Chyna got a Lambo
off of pinky toes.

So, it's a, it's a whole new world now.

- For every Blac Chyna,

there's two million pairs
of t*tties out there

only makin' $10 a month.
Yeah.

And OnlyFans
opened up a market for that.

So, yeah, it's work now.

- Coming from England,

seeing what was possible
in this country with entrepreneurship,

and it's-- for me, I felt that was the way
to get on in life and take control.

Black entrepreneurship has grown
significantly in the last few years

with, uh, entrepreneurs such as yourself.

And you feel it's all about social media?

- It's, like, mind-blowin'.

Unless you see it, it sounds fake.

Social media,
you can be nobody with no business,

and then the next day, you can be--

- The business.

- The business. Right.

- While you say that,

you still have to be able
to differentiate yourself

from everybody else
to be successful, right?

- I like that you said that.

Like, differentiating yourself
from everybody else

to become successful.

Just like, I guess not being afraid
to piss some people off.

Because if you pissin' some people off,

some people love what you're doin',

which I think our generation is, like--

We have less restriction

in terms of who we can be.
- And what do you call your--

What's "our generation?"
So, for the people in the back.
- I mean, like, you guys are--

- What do you mean, "You guys?"

- You guys, you two, specifically,

like, in my mind, you guys have
to be a certain way, you know?

Or may have had other, uh, ways

that you had to compensate
for how people see you.

Like, you can--
- As Black men?

As Black men.
- As-As older Black men?
Is that what you mean?

- Like, I've had older Black men tell me,
like, "You gon' wear that?" You know?

'Cause they're afraid to sparkle.

You know? And so,

I feel like just now, you know--
- That's metaphoric.

- I don't have to feel that way.

- But did you thank those OGs
for, uh, buildin' the path

that allowed you to be yourself?
- I didn't thank them because,

to be honest,
some of them are really cruel.

It's like, "You-- What?"

- Yeah, 'cause all my OGs told me that,
"You-You not goin' to college?"

- Right!

- "Uh, you finna-- You sellin' hair
out the trunk of your car?"

"You finna start a website?"
"All you do is be on your phone."

I said, "Yeah, because I make

anywhere from $75,000 to $100,000--"
- Talk your sh*t, girl.

- Per post.
"...per, per post."

Yes, I'm finna take my picture.

- It sometimes feels like
we are the enemy of y'all.

- Not at all.
- And we understand that
y'all came before us,

but it's, like,

we dealin' with the same thing--
- We-- You know what,
you know what our problem is?

- you're dealin' with
with different circumstances, you know?

That's all it is.
We got, we got PTSD.

We're tryin' to help y'all.
- And togeth-- And together--

Yeah.
- we could overcome all of that.

- How receptive were you to your OGs

back when you were his age?
Wow.

- We sat there at their foot
and listened to them.

- Is that what they said?

- No, that's what we, we--
No, no, no. You--

That's your side of the story.

But they're probably saying, "We try--"
No, they wouldn't say that.

- They wouldn't say-- They'll say,
"We try to tell these young, dumb kids.

They ain't tryna listen.
They tryna do hippity-hip-hop-hop."

- I didn't hear--
I did not hear that.

I-I gravitated to older people.
- Me too.

I wanted to hear their experiences.

I wanted to make sure that
I didn't make the mistakes that they made.

- A lotta times,
guys from our generation, like,

we're trying to talk
to the younger generation, right?

Y'all don't know about, like,
the fires that we've been through.

- Yeah.
- The racism that we dealt with.

And perhaps, we need to do a better job
of tellin' you guys what we went through.

So, a lotta times, uh, probably,
maybe our message is too--

Like, we-we come from an era

where the coaches, like,
yelled at us and screamed at us.

- Aggressive. Aggressive, yeah.
Aggressive.

I think a lotta
the younger people, like, fight us,

but we're only tellin' you

because we love you.
- Of course.

- And we--
If we didn't give a sh*t about you,

we wouldn't tell you sh*t, right?
Of course.

Being yourself,
wearing what you wanna wear,

believing in what you wanna believe in,

being who you wanna be
in front of everybody, you know,

which, I think, the way
you've learned that things have to be,

if you put that on other people,
can, sometimes, for us feel like,

"Whoa, you're-you're-you're
telling me to go against myself."

- A-And we're comin' from a place of love.
- Of course.

- It's always been like that.
You know what I'm saying?

That doesn't, that doesn't change.

People just kinda look
at a new generation as different.

- I love that you said the word "change"

because I feel like our generation
embraces that change is the constant.

- But I think having everything recorded
for posterity, right?

Like, via social media is v--
is-- makes it different.

So, when you even said,

"I'm gonna be who I'm--
who I wanna be in front of everybody,"

some of us, especially our elders,
were not in front of everybody.

They were in front of their community.

They were in front of their city,

their neighborhood,
their, their job, you know?

You're in a different environment.

So, being exposed to everybody
is a very new experience, I think,

especially, for people of color feelin'--
But I disagree completely because

their social media was church.

They cared about what
people thought about them,

who people were talking about them dating,

who people--
the-the opinions of their neighbors--

- But it's also community-based, though.
It's not--

The difference is we are exposed
for the entire world to see,

to judge, to view, to, you know--

I mean, I think that there's
a different level of exposure.

- Yeah, social media,
you're exposed to the world,

but your people find you on social media.
That's true.

- If I don't like you
or what you're doin',

I don't follow you.

And if I don't follow you,
you genuinely don't exist.

- In a previous generation,
they didn't have that tool

that allowed them to connect
with that broader community

that could con-- that could respect them
and see them for who they are--

- Very much so.

- so what a privilege it is
to be in a generation

where we have this platform

to be able to perform whatever parts
of ourselves make us feel free,

and find a community
out there that embraces that.

- I think the most important thing
is just your skill set, your talent.

You gotta be the best actor there.

You had to be the best chef in that room.

You had to be better than the average chef

'cause you were a Black chef.
- Yeah.

Stand-up is the same way.

'Cause at the end of the day,
the crowd dictates.

- But it's also, like, we're--

We still work
in a white-dominated industry as actors.

We st-- Th-Those are
the people behind the camera;

those are the people
who are holding the purse strings.

Like, that's-that's it.

I mean, I know I benefit--

Well, I'm sure we'll get into a lot of
other conversations about this late-later,

but, like, I-- there is safety in me.

I'm really light-skinned.
I have a, you know, I have a white mom.

I'm really-- Like, I'm e-e--
I'm easily palatable.

You're safe.
- I'm safe.

And I think that I have had
a very different experience

than a lot of other Black actors.

However, I'm still a Black actor,
and I still have to fight for my spot.

And that's a struggle sometimes

because I think we are isolated.

- In my field, I walked into a room,
I was the only Black person there.

And so, I have a whole... kitchen
that is lookin' at me as "other."

And I have to fit in.

- And they work for you.

- Now they do, but at that--

At that time,
I had to be better than everybody there.

I knew that goin' in,

and I fought that battle,
and I was-- And I won, and I did it.

And I opened the door
for younger people of color

to come in behind me.

- That's not a "OG/young G"
thing, that's a--

- No, that's a Black person thing.
Yeah.

- I think we're tougher on each other,

but I think that gives us
more energy to be better.

You know?
I don't, I don't mind that

because there's a level of, uh, awareness
that, um, the new generation has

that millennials
and older generations didn't have.

- Yeah.
- Whereas they acknowledge a lot

of the stuff that we just kind of
had to brush off or walk it off.

And they go,
"No, I wanna talk about it."

- They have a voice.

- They have a voice.
They acknowledge their awareness.

And so, that's gonna affect everything.

- So, what we're about to eat
is Muscovy duck breast

that's been pan roasted

and seared skin-side down,
so it's nice and crispy.

I incorporated a nice chocolate
gastrique and raspberry sauce

to go with it.

I like the raspberry inside

'cause it-it's the fruit that cuts
the fat of the skin of the duck.

- How do you say "raspberry?"

- Rahz-burry.

Rahz-burry.

Rahz-burry.

- Like, like, like,
we speak English over here.

- The real one.
- I speak English.

Doesn't everybody else?

I don't know what you talkin' about.

- I know you guys are really big time
on Instagram and TikTok,

but for me, as a sports journalist,
like, Twitter is a really big deal.

And Black Twitter.
Mm-hm.

- And, like, y'all are familiar
with Deion Sanders

even if you're not a sports fan, and--

- Oh, yeah.

- He was coachin' at Jackson State HBCU.

There's people across the country
furious that he's leavin' the HBCU

to go to a predominantly white school.
Mm-hm.

- Just so happened,
in the Black college championship game,

a white tight end for a Black school,

wide open, the ball hits him in his chest,

and they lose
'cause he didn't catch the ball.

- Cookout invite revoked.

Yeah.
For life!

- I go on to search,
"Jackson State, white dude."

- Eatin' him up.
"White dude."

- Oh, my goodness.

Like, I thought I was gonna
get to the beginnin' of it.

- Yeah.

- They were roastin' this cat.

- The great thing about Black Twitter is
it's not curated by any one person.

The community dictates what's funny,
what's gonna work, you know?

Uh, I know Black comedians
who couldn't get a show,

who have jobs on television shows now

'cause they shined on Black Twitter.

When the queen died,
Black British Twitter went off.

Yeah.
- Wow. There's a Black British Twitter?

There's a Black British Twitter.
They went hard.

- They went off, you know, they went off.
- They went so hard.

- They didn't care about their queen.

- So, Black Twitter
sets the trends for anything.

We call out all foolishness.

It's-It's hilarious.

I think it's a place that
we can all check ourselves, you know?

And anybody can get it.

That's the thing about it.

It humbles everybody.
- Nobody's safe.

- Nobody's safe on Black Twitter.
- And they forget nothing.

- I don't care if Chris Brown
do a hundred million,

they gon' bring up Rihanna.
You know what I'm sayin'?

- Has anybody ever been
canceled by Black Twitter?

- Well, cancellations now are--

they're, uh-- it's levels to this sh*t.

- And, and it's subject to timeframes.

- So, you canceled for a week, two weeks,

you say somethin' crazy.
- Yeah.

- Kevin Hart got canceled
kind of for the Oscar thing,

and then he comes back.

- It's like detention.
It's detention.

It's, like, you gotta
sit out for a little bit.

- They are a culture.

Like, anything that you see go viral
on Instagram or TikTok--

- Started on Twitter.
- it happened on Twitter first

weeks before.

Like, if you see, like,
a meme page on Instagram,

they got that meme from somebody's tweet.

- Everybody in this generation has more
influence than they've ever had

as it relates to social media.

But... what is the difference between
having influence and being a leader?

I would say,
it's viewed on whoever's looking at it

and what they agree with.

So, my man here,
a lot of followers, right?

An older person
might not call him a leader

because they don't see
what he's doing as valuable.

But I see him as a leader because
he's actually influencin' those people.

And actually, to devalue someone,
and kind of throw shade,

they call someone an "influencer."

- A lotta influencers
didn't sign up to be leaders.

They end up havin' the mass of people.

And people, especially OGs,

expect them to step
into the role of leadership

when they just wanna tell jokes,

or they just wanna rap about...
sex and-and they boyfriend.

Like, they don't wanna
talk about the presidential election.

'Cause, sometimes,
believe it or not, they don't care.

Like-- And so, like,
I think, like, a lotta influencers

are bein' forced to be leaders
because their tribe is so big.

- And I think when you gain
influence sometimes,

it's expected of you that you polish it up
and get it together,

and, like, learn how to become--
A leader.

- a leader and politically correct.

But it's like, "Whoa!
I got a million followers in three days.

So, I don't know what's goin' on."

Did you actually, though?
- Yeah, I did. In three days.

How did that happen? What went viral?

- I did a TV show,
and the TV show came out,

and in literally, like, days,
millions of people.

- My knowledge is how to lay lace properly
and make it look flawless on camera,

or how to blend makeup.

My, you know, expertise
is not on Congress

or the w*r.

- I have a question, though.
Mm-hm.

- Is there-- I don't know right or wrong.
Is there a responsibility?

I remember, uh, Jay-Z
wasn't using his platform.

I remember Harry Belafonte
came at him about,

"You got this platform, you gotta use it."

And Jay-Z was like,
"I ain't gotta do it. I'm a rapper."
Blah, blah, blah, blah.

And then as you see
what happened with George Floyd,

as you see what happens with,

you know, all the brothers
who's been shot, you know,

Jay-Z slowly became this person.

So, my question is,
is there responsibility

when you see your people suffering,

when you have
that platform as you get older?

I don't know. Yes or no? I don't know.

- A lotta influencers-- Like he said,
he grew a million followers overnight.

They're not properly
media trained to even--

- You're right. I don't want Chief K--
I don't want Chief Keef leadin' a protest.

- I think they're the same thing.

I think somebody getting you to vote

for specifically a way
that maybe they think you should

is also an influencer just for a ballot.

I remember getting an email,

like, for someone telling me
to, like, talk about the vaccine.

They framed it as, "You would be a leader
if you tell people to get the vaccine."

And I'm not an anti-vax person.

You know,
I had to get the vaccine for work.

And, you know,
I don't know what's goin' on.

I've never been in a pandemic before.

And my main thing is, like, I don't wann--
- Nobody has.

No, seriously, nobody has.

- Last one was 1915 or some sh*t.
- Nobody has, and--

1918.
1918, I'm sorry.

- I heard both sides of, like,
the people in my life tellin' me

like, "You don't know
what's in that thing. Be careful."

And I also heard the people like,
"Get-- Come on, dude.

Like, we need to get out of this situation
and make everybody safe."

I don't know which one is right.

I'm, I'm not
in the pharmaceutical industry.

I just have a platform.
- Yeah.

- And I didn't do the thing because
I don't know enough about medicine

to advise my audience on a vaccine.

- You're saying you
understood the responsibility.

You actually understood
the assignment of being an influencer

and the responsibility that comes with it.
- But here's the crazy part.

They offered me $10,000 to do it.
- It's not about the money.

So, the fact that you didn't do it,

"No, I don't know enough
to be this leader."

So, you did--
You-You were a leader in that sense.

You understand what I'm sayin'?
Mm.

- That demonstrates
that you have an understanding

of the responsibility that you have

because of the platform
that you've been given,

and you are not gonna be
irresponsible enough to take $10,000 to--

- Post something about something.
- spew information that
could be inaccurate.

And I'm glad that you're saying that,

because to me,
it felt like I didn't do the right thing.

- Playboy, I would've took the bag.
You understand?

- Yeah. It felt to me, like,
I should have told people to go be saved,

and to go protect their loved ones,

and to go make sure that around people

that they are not gonna
be spreading something

that could potentially k*ll people.

It made me feel like
I did not do the right thing.

- Playboy,
I'm at Lowry's Crab Shack next week.

I'd have took the bag.

Joyce Anne need a roof.
You know what I'm sayin'?

- But, like, who are
our leaders of this generation,

of this moment, of this era?
- LeBron James.

- Honestly, LeBron James,
who was just a basketball player,

but he saw how much power he had.

He could've stayed quiet
durin' George Floyd.

- I remember Fox said to him,
"Just go-- Just shut up and dribble."

And he didn't.
- Right. He could've stayed quiet.

LeBron got a billion dollars.
He ain't have to say sh*t.

Yeah.
Mm.

- But he chose, he chose
to put himself in the firing line

'cause he saw Black boys
gettin' m*rder*d by the police.

- There was a time
when LeBron didn't speak,

but I think it was
more because of his age.

He needed to be more
educated about the situation.

I think he realized
that he was so powerful.

Like you are. You're powerful. Right?

What I mean by that is
you push that button,

there's a lotta people
that are gonna listen

to what you have to say.

- I envy that a little bit,
but at the same time, I have privacy.

I have my character I play

who people see and then they expect to see
when they meet me. That's not me.

- Six seasons.
- But then-- Six seasons, that's right.

Mm-hm.

But then, there is, like, you know,

the person who they
would know from social media

if I did more of it, but I don't.

So, yeah, they know who my boyfriend is.

They know a little bit about
my personal life, who I hang out with,

but really, they don't know me.
Yeah.

- And I'm kind of okay with that.

I feel very comfortable in my anonymity

because I wanna have a career
past the job that I have right now,

past this moment.

- But she can still
make money and a livin'

without usin' social media versus me.

That's the only way
that I can sell my products.

She could actually
get a social media manager--

- 100%. Yeah. Thought about it.
and launch a product.

- Me, I don't have
the national syndication of a show to--

I have to use social media.

It's not even-- It's a job.

- The dessert we have to finish off today

is a banana cream pie.

On the bottom,
there's a nice little puff pastry

with a little banana inside of it.

And on top, crème Chantilly

and a caramelized slice
of banana on top of that

with a shaving of chocolate.

And the sauce you see there
is a lime caramel sauce.

Mm.

- I would like you to photo this.

Oh, yes.

- And I would like you
to put it out there.

- I've not taken my phone out one time.
- And make sure you tell 'em

Chef David Lawrence curated this for you.

- So, are you usin'
my influence or my leadership?

I'm using,

I'm using both, okay?

- No, I have a question for you

because you've been a beauty editor
at all these m-magazines,

and I'm in the beauty industry.

And I just wanna know,
like, how you feel,

like, how they don't really show up
for the Black women in this space.

Because I feel like major magazines
pick one token Black girl.

And so, then that
puts us against each other

because we know they're
only gonna pick one of us.

One token--
- You got three brunettes, three blondes,

one Black girl, one Asian girl, one--

- Why do five blondes get to go,
but one Black girl get to go?

- What does that one
Black girl typically look like?

- Typically, it's two.
They pick one mixed girl,

and then they pick
one extremely dark girl.

Because then, then they feel, like--
- "We've checked both boxes."

- The-The CEO feels comfortable.

"Okay, I got the chocolatest girl,

which is beauti--"
- Chocolatest.

- I love chocolate.
Like, you know what I mean?

Melanin is gold to me.

- This is s-- like, Pandora's box for me.

It's part of why I wrote my book

because I do feel
that I was that token Black girl.

I was that token Black editor
who was palatable enough

to be placed
in any room full of white people

and, uh, not come off
as threatening, you know?

I'm half Black, half white.

And while I identify strongly
with being a Black woman,

I also recognize
that I walk into every room

with a measure of light-skinned privilege.

- Mm-hm.
- And my responsibility in that room

is to create more space for more women

and more people of color
who don't look like me,

to be able to not
only get into these spaces,

but to feel legitimized
in these spaces and in these roles,

and to hold that door open.

I think we only ever get
those headlines and those highlight reels

that make us all feel like,
"Yay, we're making progress!"

And we're s--
The culture loves to celebrate it first.

But we don't, we don't have the safe space

to talk about what comes with being first.

- It's responsibility.
- And, and, and the cuts and the bruises

that come with breaking
through those glass ceilings.

- You are older than me.

So, like, I, I wanted to say thank you

because now you opened up the door
for... us to come through.

You went through what you went through,

and you let them know
that we can do this sh*t,

and we can do it correctly,

and we can do it gracefully--
- And you a OG.

- and we can do it amazingly.
- Thank you.

- I feel like this is amazin'
to bring it full circle.

- Yes.
- Because it's, like, now we can see

how the cycle actually goes.

None of us are prepared.

Mm.
- And the people who do it first

don't necessarily have
all the tools necessary,

or get the deal that you want,

or that is right, necessarily,
when you do get in.

- And I think it's about understanding
that there's synergy in our success.

- Totally.

- That my success
is tied up in your success.
- Totally!

And it's not my failure.
- E-Exactly.

Totally!
- That's what I had to tell people that,

"Your success is not my failure."

A lot of people feel like,
"'Cause she succeeded, that mean I can't."

No. She succeeded,
meanin' that it's possible.

- I think we have to communally agree

that we're gonna support people
who are going to bring other people up.

There's a lot of people
from upstairs, white people,

who are gonna say that,

"We did it. We did it already."
- Yeah.

- "We don't--
We-We had a Black editor-in-chief.

We don't need another one."

- Have you learned how to navigate
your light-skinned privilege in Hollywood?

- Um, I-I-- I don't know if I have.

I think I'm still figuring it out.

I think that it-- i--

I occupy space as a Black person,

but I also know that I carry privilege.

I carry white--
- Okay, that was gon' be my question.

Do you realize
that light skin is a privilege?
- Oh, no, no, no. Absolutely!

- I think colorism,
it does play a role in my success story.

And I would be naïve
to say that it didn't.

If anything, I'm only here

because I've been
embraced by my Black community

that forced my company
to see my value outside of those walls.

- I gotta say somethin' on this.

And, and, you know, as--
Cam, you and I are dark skinned.

I see successful dark-skinned men

have a light-skinned woman as their wives.

Hm.

Am I seeing something
that I'm not supposed to be seeing,

or am I imagining this--
- I-I-- No, that's actually--

- or is this the truth?

- Mm... I actually don't have
an answer to that question.

- For me, like, when people are like,
"Oh, you're so beautiful.

What are you mixed with?" Right?

That's been my whole,
my whole entire life.

Like, I'm Black. My mama Black.
It's Black as far as I can see it, okay?

- Isn't your name Ming, Ming?

Exac-- This is where I'm gettin' to it.

- So, you changed your name?

- It was a marketin' tool.
It was a conversation piece.

Like, "Is she Black?
Is she Asian? Is she mixed?"

I've been trained
to think that as a young girl,

"Oh, that was better for people
to assume that you wasn't all Black."

But why isn't Black exotic?

Why do we have to be mixed with--
- Because we're not the minority.

We're not the minority in our areas.

- I think it's all, honesty,
in relation to where you live.

You grew up in-in-in London.

You know, brothers in Atlanta
are gonna date mostly Black women.

Brothers in LA
are gon' date Mexican women.

I think it's, you know--
A, A Black dude in Al---
- Product of your environment.

- A Black dude in Alaska,
he gon' date a white girl.

- What about the successful Black men
that grew up in the south side of Chicago,

and then they go marry
a light-skinned or a white woman?

- Well, Michael Jordan's
wife was Black first.

- Yeah.
You know what I mean?

- But then what'd he do?
- Full white girl.

- Mm-hm.

- You have
a beautiful light-skinned wife, right?

- I've done the same thing.
- But did you--

Did-- But you didn't marry--
- And your career is,
your career is poppin'.

You didn't marry her 'cause she's white.

- Wait. No. I wanna talk about--
- How many restaurants?

- But-But can you talk
about the conditioning?

- That-- Yes.
- 'Cause I think a, a lotta Black men go,

"Man, it's just my preference.

"I-It's just a, it's just a, a coincidence

that I end up dating
all these light-skinned girls."

They don't actually
acknowledge the conditioning...

- Yeah. Do they realize
that it's conditioning?

- ...that tells you that
that's more beautiful

than a dark-skinned woman.

Can you-- Ca--
What level of consciousness are you at?

- I don't know what
level of consciousness,

but I picked someone
who was lighter than me.

I don't know if it was
because they were lighter--

- She bad, though.
- She-- Yeah.

- She a bad woman now.
- Absolutely.

- This ain't no regular chick now.
Yeah.

- You got lucky, bruh.
You out-kicked your coverage on her.

- Yeah, I know.
I-I punched up, and it's work.

- That was a life's,
a life's worth of decision making

that went into choosing
your wife, wasn't it?
- Yes. Yes.

- First of all,
I knew you were a Virgo.

You're a perfectionist.

- I-- It's so bad.
What's your sign?

- Yes. I'm a Sag,
and I drive Virgos crazy.

- No, no, no.
But, you know, my moon is a Sag.

And I love Sagittarius
'cause they are so wild.

You guys are unhinged.

- Did you just call me unhinged?
- Yes.

- 'Cause I'm not even mad at that.

- I-It's like, "This is what I'm doin'.

So, either you like it...
or you don't."

- W-We move with the spirit,

and if the spirit is saying that's not it,

even if that thing is sexy
and everybody says go that way,

it's like, I'm not going that way.
- I'm like, "I'm over here."

My favorite sign as a Virgo
is the Sagittarius.

- Really?
- I just, I just love--

- I knew we were gon' get along.
- Right.

- I was like, "That's my boo.
I'm kind of obsessed with her."

- My dad, I'll never forget,

he told me that
anytime you're amongst an elder--

- Yeah.
- it's best to not say anything.

It's best to listen.

But sometimes I think we need to shut up,

so we can learn somethin'
from the younger generation.

- Very true.

- Yeah. You guys have
a lot to learn from me.

What can I say?
- I know.

No, but you got called a OG.
Yeah.

- Tonight, I got inducted
into the OG hall of fame.

- Yeah, how did that feel?

Did that feel good
or did it hurt your feelings?

- No, it didn't hurt my feelings.
- No?

- I feel like I'm just getting started.
- I'm not, I'm not sayin' you done,

but you've done enough now
where you're gettin' flowers,

and, and you deserve it.

- I just wanna say, like,
watching that conversation

between you and Brett--
- Yeah.

was so--
- It's dope, right?

- nourishing for me.

I felt like I was watching
a father and son

kinda work out some stuff
that doesn't often get talked about,

or when it does, it's left unresolved.
- Yeah.

- But there was so much
mutual respect between you two.

- The thing I needed to learn was,
he needs to know that I'm hearing him.

Yeah.
- And I think that's,
like, half our battle.

- It's everything.

- We still have the same battles,
but we will get there in the end.

- But you know what the best part
of the whole night was?

That dessert, dawg.
You put your foot in that dessert.

- Oh, do you like that?

The reconstructed, uh, banana cream pie.
- Whew! Whew!

- This face and this sound
that he's making, "Whew!"

- As everybody's talkin' and I'm eatin',

and I kinda look over at Marc's plate--

And it's just cleaned out.
It was just clean.

I was like, "Mm. I'm good."
Isn't that the best compliment

for a chef?
For me, personally as a chef,

I see that clean like that,
"All right, I did my, I did my job."