01x02 - The Lush

[bunniefuu]

You all right, babe?

You look like
you've seen a ghost.

- You're shaking.

Um, listen...

about last night.

I know. Tom Hanks is really
going through it.

He gets like that around
awards season.

He loves you, you know that.

Look, if you don't want to come
tonight, honestly, it's fine.

Totally.
It's a schlep, I get it.

T-Tonight?

To London. It's a long way to go

to watch me
spin records for an hour,

and I know how nervous you get
on the private plane, so...

I...

I mean I...
I want you to come. I do.

Especially since I'm going
to be leaving on tour

in like a month, so...

Hey, don't go there.

Look, this time
it will be different.

I won't tap out like last time,
I promise.

Hey, Mae.

I love you.

I'm with you. I choose you.

Listen, um...
I'm gonna step outside.

Yeah, okay. Yeah. Forget it.

For a minute,
just to get some... some air.

- Okay.
- Okay.

- Mm-hmm. Okay, yeah.
- Sorry, I just...

No. I... I get it.

It's... it's triggering for you.

Right.

Babe.

We're gonna be okay, babe.
I promise.

Yeah. Yup.

My purse...

Oh, and, babe?

Don't forget we have our fitting
for the Met Ball today,

so you might want to...
I don't know,

go get a blowout or something?

Gina.

- Hello?
- Gina, I need to talk to you.

Oh, hey, girl, hey.

Listen, are you at the museum?

The museum? I mean,

if by museum you mean
have I been ba*ls deep

in gardenias
for the last six hours,

then, yeah, I'm at the museum.

What?

I don't know how
I went from grad school

to being every bride's b*tch,
but, you know, pays the bills.

Just count your lucky stars
you married rich.

Listen, this is what I need
to talk to you about it.

- Where is Elijah?
- Elijah?

Like the Jewish prophet?

I think you open the door
for him during Seders and sh*t.

I once had a foster family
that did that

and a homeless dude came in.

- No.
- Oops. Sorry.

Unhoused.
Matzah was bussin', though.

No, no. Elijah, my husband.

Do you mean Eric?

What kind of drugs did you do
at that party last night?

Also... I read in the Daily Mail
that you body-checked Tom Hanks?

- Girl, what was that about?

Oh. Um, hi.

Is... is... is Elijah here?

He's, um, he's about this tall,
with, like, hair,

dresses kind of like if, um,
Kurt Cobain was a l*sbian.

Mom?

Who is it, sweetie?

If you eat salad,
we need your support.

- What're you doing?
- What the f*ck, man.

Sorry.

Elijah?

Excuse me?

Sorry.

Uh, I thought...
I thought you were...

Sorry, never mind.

- Hi.
- Uh, ma'am,

do you have a ticket?

Uh, no. I'm... I'm Mae Cannon,
uh, associate curator.

Oh, unless you got your job
about five minutes ago,

the curator of this museum
is a man named Ted Hong.

Sorry. No, I can...
I can show you my badge.

It's, uh...

Uh.

- Hmm?
- Hold on, it's, uh,

it's in here somewhere.

What did you say
your name was again?

Mae Cannon.
Can you just look me up?

- Sure.
- Thank you.

Well, you don't seem
to be listed here anywhere.

Hey. Hey!

- Hey, ma'am. Ma'am.
- Ma'am.

- What?
- That is a holy man.

I'm gonna need to ask you
to stand down.

Oh. Mm-hmm. You're one of those.

What?

Monk chasers.
We get them every now and again.

Lonely ladies looking
to bang a man in a robe.

I seen Fleabag Season Two.

No, no, you don't understand.

He'll remember me.
I... I curated that exhibit.

He was our consultant.

Yeah, and I helped build
the Great Wall of China.

What? No, no, please.

No, no. I don't... okay,
I don't need to be handled.

- Have a good day, ma'am.
- I'm a grown woman.

- Thank you. You, too.
- Okay.

- Lady!
- Whoa! Whoo!

- Catch her, catch her.
- Lady, lady.

You satisfied?

- I got it. I got it.
- You monk chasers are--

I got it for real this time.
I got it.

She's so fast.

- Wa... wait. Hey. Get her.
- Lady! Hey.

Elijah. Come on.

Come on.

Oh.

Come on.

Excuse me. Hi.

Line starts down there.
Pick your base and your protein.

If you want avocado,
it's seven dollars extra.

No. Hey, do you remember me?
I was in here three days ago.

I, uh, morbidly depressed,
stiffed you on a tip.

Ma'am, you're describing
every White woman

that comes in here.

Uh, no, no,
you asked me how I was,

and I went on a sort of diatribe
about every day--

Listen, lady,
I'm in here working

while all these
other branches are protesting

all over the city
because I can't afford not to.

So, what, did you come back
to give me a tip?

Uh, yeah, sure. Sure.

Um, do you actually have change?

Bobby, we need more lemon juice.

Eleven stews?

Lemon juice, not eleven stews.

Oh? You like my shoes?

Oh, my God. Bobby, were you
dropped as a baby?

Are you stealing my tips?

Mm-mm. No.

I... I... I just wanted you
to see that I was, it was...

Oh, b*tch. I will take you down
with my bare hands.

No, no, no.
Please, I need your help.

Bobby, watch the register!

Come on, Elijah. Please.

Where are you?

You were supposed to be here
20 minutes ago.

Yes, darling. I'll be there.

Hi. I was worried
you weren't coming.

Oh, yeah. No, I, uh, I came.

- Hmm.
- Oh. What?

Wow. Okay.

Oh, there's so many.

What happened to your hair?

It's flat,
like there's no body to it.

Oh.

Let's get you
to your clothing. Okay?

Okay.

Just finishing
tightening the bodice.

Okay, mm-hmm.

Be careful, huh,
because it's glass.

- It's...
- Oh, that's cool.

- Mm-hmm.
- It feels, um, unsafe.

It's the theme. It's perfection.

- Trash.
- What?

The theme. It's trash.

Now, when you sit for dinner,

we remove the glass because
it can cut your organs...

...but we'll replace it...
gracias... with...

a cape.

Sorry, is this, uh...

It's garbage, amor. Mm-hm.

Oh!

And now the final touch.

It's pigeon feather.
New York pigeon. I love.

No, I can't. I'm sorry.

No. That's... get it out,
get it out of my hair.

Oh, it's a pigeon. Oh.

Oh!

- Okay, yeah.
- Mae!

That is dangerous.

- What? Mae?
- Oh!

Honey, be...
be careful with your organs.

Mae. Hey!

What the hell
is going on with you?

First of all, you're late,
which by the way is humiliating.

You are a reflection of me.

I needed to get out of there.

You know, a lot of people
would k*ll

to get to go to the Met Gala
dressed in--

Garbage?
Dressed in legitimate garbage?

It's the theme, Mae. Okay.
It's all part of the...

the thing. It's a spectacle.

Also, who was that?

- Who was who?
- The girl.

- Libby?
- Talking to you on the couch.

Yeah.

My... my assistant.

Honestly, Mae,
what is going on with you?

I know that you say
MDMA helps you

escape your depression
or whatever,

you know, like...
like it numbs the pain,

it makes you feel like
there's an escape.

There have been studies, okay,
it impacts memory loss and...

God, Libby? You're not even
recognizing Libby anymore?

Oh.

I was literally telling her
what time your...

your present could be picked up

so I could surprise you with it
when we got home.

- But--
- And just the fact

that you said nothing to me
this morning.

No "happy anniversary",
no "I love you."

Oh, my God, it's him.

Oh, my God.

Can I take a picture with you?

- Hi. All right. Bring it in.
- Oh, my God! Me too, me too.

Sure, yeah. Bring it in.

- Individual, so like, solo.
- And then a group one.

Sure.

Oh, my God!

You're so hot, I'm dead.

- Oh, my God!

Do you need a minute,
or are you good?

- Just take it!
- Okay.

Okay, sure.
And a group shot I guess.

What is this? These are...

- Can you go higher?
- Huh?

Like a higher angle, just like--

I heard you. I just, I can't...

my physical person just doesn't
get higher than this.

Okay, great. Thank you so much.
Take care. Lovely to meet you.

Can I get your number?
I'll be 18 in June.

Eric?

I'm, uh,
I'm gonna go for a walk.

I'll see you at home.

Oh, my God!
I can't believe it!

- Mae, how you feeling?
- What?

It couldn't have been easy
to see those pics of Eric

with that c*ck waitress
last year.

- Um...
- And that lady from France,

or that other c*ck waitress.

I... I, uh...

I assume you haven't taken
a picture together in a while.

Is it true
you're going to rehab?

Please leave me alone.

Because that footage of you
at Burning Man is iconic.

Go away!

When you dropped LSD after
dropping out of that plane,

naked and weeping,
it was so sad and so hot.

It kinda reminded me of the time

when Fergie pissed herself
on stage.

And now that I think about it,

that lady in France
that Eric had sexted

was a c*ck waitress.

Go away!

f*ck, go away!

Go away!

You're as crazy
as everybody says you are.

What the f*ck
are you all looking at?

- Gina?
- Are you okay?

That video of you assaulting
the paparazzi

is kind of everywhere right now.

- What?
- I mean, it's cool,

'cause f*ck those guys,
but in such close proximity

to what US Weekly
is deeming your

castaway catastrophe,

it's kind of an all-around
violent look for you, babe.

- Listen, Gina, I need your help.
- No.

I am not getting you drugs.

Besides, you have enough MDMA
at your home

to throw your own raves,
don't you?

No, okay, can you come meet me?

Babe, you know
I have a wedding tonight.

The full-blown nightmare.

But I will meet you
first thing tomorrow.

- Um--
- Oh, sh*t, wait.

I got a brunch date with
the podiatrist I met on Twitter.

He is super political.

- Um--
- But you know what? It's okay.

It's okay. I can reschedule it.

This at the very least
seems like a code yellow.

No, Gina.

I'll bring you bagels and vodka,

and you could cry
on my lap, okay?

I love you Mae Day, my Mae Bae.
Gotta bounce.

No!

Hey.

Hey.

You opened it.

Yeah. Thanks.

Uh, I think we need to talk.

- You wanna sit?
- Yeah.

Um, I just...

I don't know what's going on
with you,

but I'm feeling pretty flooded.

- Um...
- You just feel so distant.

And...

I know me going on tour
brings up a lot of sh*t for you.

I, uh--

I promise you
I've learned from my mistakes.

- Uh--
- Listen, I know...

that I'm not perfect,
but I'm trying.

- Eric.
- Mae, please.

- Just let me finish.
- Yeah.

I work really hard
at trying to be

a good partner for you.

I make the time and the effort.
And you just...

I just don't see you
doing the same.

And it's like,
you are so unhappy

no matter how hard I try.

I just don't know
what I need to do anymore

to earn your trust again.

Eric.

I need to be totally honest
with you.

I don't know where I am.

- I know.

I don't know
where you are either.

You're just so far away.

No, no, no. Like, uh...

this isn't my life.

Oh, my God.

Honestly, Mae,
this is the problem.

You can never be satisfied.

- No, please.
- Look, I'm sorry

I don't have
a f*cking nine-to-five...

That's not what I'm saying.

...and we can't just sit
on the couch all night,

but this is what
you signed up for.

- You don't like me?
- No!

- You don't like who I am?
- That's not--

That's fine.
But the fact is really,

you don't like who you are.

And you know
what's even scarier?

I don't think
you even know who you are.

No, please.
You don't understand.

No, I just don't think
I can convince you

to want to be here anymore.

Eric.

What is happening to me?

For thousands of years,

scientists and laymen alike

have been decoding the mystery
behind dreams.

Thousands of years ago,
mystics believed that dreams...

Oh, my God, what the f*ck?

...were a reflection
of a parallel universe,

a universe resided
by ghosts and spirits.

What is that, a ferret?

...ghosts and spirits theory,

they have in fact agreed

on the existence
of many more universes

other than our own,
are all but...

Who are you?

Oh, God!

- Oh! Oh, God!

Oh, yes.

Mm.

Jesus!

Hmm.

Guess this is who I am.

Looking for an escape.

Guess this is who I always was.

You need to leave me
the f*ck alone.

You treat me
like a piece of sh*t!

Yes, because you are
a piece of sh*t!

Vanessa.

I married you despite you

f*cking other people
for a living.

Oh, my God, it isn't f*cking--

- Vanessa.
- Who is this?

- I have no idea.
- This is her?

No, I've never seen
this f*cking b*tch in my life.

We work together.

Is this the b*tch
from the scene?

No, no, no, the museum.

Does she look like
she's in f*cking porn to you?

Porn? No.

- Vanessa.
- You're lying to me!

Oh, my God,
you are f*cking mental.

I haven't come with you
in seven months.

- Six!
- She gets me. She gets me off.

I'm gonna k*ll her!

- Oh, my.

This is not her.
I don't know who this woman is.

How dare you?

Stop lying to me
it was the best thing

I ever f*cking did.

I f*cking loved you,
you f*cking c**t.

Vanessa!

- Hey!

Hey, I'm Mae Cannon
and this is not my life!