01x01 - The Wife

[bunniefuu]

I didn't want
to wake up this morning.

I would say that's true
of every morning, really.

I just always feel like...

being asleep.

Like, life is a dream.

Not like one
where I'm flying or whatever.

Like a super banal dream,
where nothing really happens.

You're just sort of witnessing
a version of your life.

An assembly of gestures

that feel vaguely familiar.

Details that just seem
sort of unbearably frivolous.

But part of you,
that part of you

that is bearing witness
to all this...

...is taking note...

...as though the sum
of these details...

will somehow add up...

to a meaningful whole.

You just need to wake up.

But then you realize
there's nothing to wake up from.

Because the dream is occurring
while you're awake.

Sleeping to find meaning...
and waking to lose it.

And all you want to do

is sleep to dream
of something more...

...more.

Just...

...more.

Yeah, um...
I was just asking

how you were doing
as like more of a courtesy.

Oh, right. Yeah.

I mean, you do genuinely
sound f*cked up.

Thank you. Thanks.

But I'm literally 24.

Wow, that's a whole life ahead.

Exciting.
Uh, I'll just tip with cash.

sh*t.

Remove your card.

I'm so sorry.
I don't have any cash--

Next!

You see that new
Timothée Chalamet sh*t

on the internet?

He's wearing like a cape
over a kimono.

So f*cking hot.

Lol.

No, I'm serious
as a heart attack.

He's all I've got
going right now.

The guys I'm going on dates with

are wearing straight-up
open-toed sandals.

Two separate dudes showed toe.
Night time toe, Mae.

Not even a daytime toe.

- Wow, that's bleak.
- Bleak.

To be honest,
I don't even love a man

in a sandal poolside.

Just go barefoot.
- Just go barefoot.

That's it.

You know Chalamet
is gonna show up in a Teva

and then all this
is gonna change.

Oh, 100 percent.
Hey, Timothée Swiss Chalet?

He can do no wrong.

Swiss Chalet
could show all the toes.

As if.

I just want to marry somebody,
you know, hella rich.

Oh.
- You know? Timothée rich.

Also, respected.

- Sure. That'd be nice.
- Honestly, I don't know.

I feel like it would be
much easier to date a woman.

You know, I've never even
kissed a girl?

- Shut your psychotic mouth.
- I know.

I mean, I had like crushes
on girls when I was younger,

but I was always too shy.

Also back then,
I just feel like

there wasn't as much
like fluidity or whatever.

You know what I mean?

Like, nowadays, I feel like
all the kids are q*eer.

Oh yeah, for sure.

They're all sucking and f*cking
on literally whomever.

- I just don't know

if I could go there.
I mean, maybe.

I thought blue cheese
was literally disgusting

until somebody
heated that sh*t up

and stuck a wing in it,
you know?

Just consider yourself blessed.

I would literally do
anything to be married.

- No, you wouldn't.
- Oh, I sure would.

I'd walk on broken glass
or f*ck an animal or...

I don't know. m*rder.

Wow. That took a turn

when you started talking
about f*cking animals.

Being single
is just such a true bummer.

But it's also kind of amazing.
I mean, right?

Just doing exactly what
you want, when you want.

You have so much
to look forward to.

Like, you get to
fall in love, man.

I would give anything to be like
transported to that, you know,

where all that you want to do
is have...

sex.

Mae, do you know what
having sex is like right now?

Sadly, not really.

Falling in love
is a death cycle, dude.

It's a little bit of gain
and just a whole lot of pain.

I promise you it's way better
to be settled.

Do you think I settled?

No, I said, "be settled."

Oh. Sorry,
what's the difference?

Oh my god, you really
don't know how good you have it.

You found your person.

You really think
there's just one person

for every other person?

Jay Z. Beyoncé.

Jay Z cheated on Beyoncé.

And there was a billion dollars
in that elevator.

Guess the question is,

how do you know
you found your person?

You think
I have the answer?

I should be asking you
that question...

Well?

Huh?

Oh, sorry. I thought
that was rhetorical.

Anthony,
that one goes upstairs.

Anthony's fine
but he's stupid.

Oh, hi. Thank you.

Listen,
whatever you're doing,

you're doing something right.
It's goals, man.

To be with a person
as long as you've been?

Yeah, I guess.

What do you mean, you guess?

I just... Thank you.

I just mean that
after a certain amount of time,

you know, it's kind of
the same thing as being single.

You're just single together.

Mm-hm.

Oh, can I have
some more too?

You can't pour me some?

Why can't you pour it yourself?

Isn't that feminism?

Oh my god.

Yeah, that's feminism.
We fought for wine.

Hey, what's our snack
situation?

Let me check it out.

Got some good stuff in here.

We do?
Mm.

We got freeze-dried chickpeas.

Oh. Yum.

We got rice cakes.

Of course.
- That's your go-to.

Looking to mix it up
a little tonight.

How's about chips?

Yeah.

Ooh.

And these are made
out of coconut flour.

Oh. Those are
actually pretty good.

Let's see.

- These are not good.
- No.

Uh-uh.

- Well, don't finish them.
- You don't!

Oh, and that's what you do,
you leave the crumbs in the bag

and then you put the bag
back in.

Hm.

That's what it looks like.

Like you're like
pulling one over on me.

What do you want to
sprinkle them on something?

Check this out. Listen to this.
This is a song.

Come on. Cut loose.
Give it to me.

What you got?

Ah.

Come on.
That's nothing. Come on.

No. That's me dancing.

Come on.

That's the extent of my--
my exertions.

I know you can do
more than that,

I've seen it.

I'm tired.

Okay. Just watch me then.

No.

Imagine we don't know
each other.

Gladly.

You're at the other end
of the bar.

Okay.

- Song is on.
- Sure.

You see me.
Oh.

I'm in a leather jacket.

D'oh.
- Cool one.

Right.

Like chains on it
and stuff.

And I'm doing this.

Can I ask you
a serious question?

Yeah.

Can we put a TV in our room?

Oh, god.

It's boring in there.

sh*t. Elijah?

Yeah?

Can you grab me that Tupperware

out of the fridge?
My shoes are on.

Thank you.

Thanks, babe.

Oh, and will you grab
more oat milk?

Sure.

Hey.

I'll walk with you.

How's the latest
chapter coming?

It's good.

You want to talk
through anything, or?

Nah.
I just hate my writing.

What if you tried your hand
at like a different hobby

just to mix things up?

You think
what I do is a hobby?

What? No.
You're misunderstanding me.

I was just saying you could like
try a different creative outlet

just to give yourself
some breathing room so you could

- go back to the novel fresh.
- I'm not doin' that.

Just to take the pressure off.

What do you want to do
for dinner tonight?

Um... we could...

Do Thai?
Yeah.

Or... we did that last night.

- What am I thinking?
- Right?

Tacos?

- Yeah.
- Oh, wait, no.

That place messed me up
last time.

Too spicy. Sushi?

Right. Yeah,
I was gonna say sushi.

Actually, maybe
let's figure it out later.

Okay. That sounds good.

Love you.
Love you.

Hi, Vanessa.

Big day tomorrow.

Yes. Yes, ma'am.

I'm very excited to
finally share

this show with the world.

As are we.

And we as well.
I mean, it's Mae's baby.

Her only baby.
She ain't got no babies.

That's a fact.

See you at
the press conference.

Yes, we will
see you there, Vanessa.

We'll see you--
Thank you...

--there.
--and thank you.

Wow, she is like a supermodel.

Director of a museum,
and she has time for filler.

Goals.

You know,
she does not get filler.

Okay. Yeah.
Her cheekbones are God-given?

Hey, what do you think
I should wear to the opening?

I have that Zara dress
that looks expensive

or that expensive dress
that looks like Zara.

Hm. I thought you were
wearing that jumpsuit.

Rides my cootie too tight.
What are you gonna wear?

I don't know.

I just have to get through
this press conference.

I can't believe
she's making me speak.

Do you want to speak instead?
I wasn't born to speak.

I think I was born
to sit mostly.

You're gonna be great.

Anthony! My man.

That goes here.
It has always gone here.

God. It's just like,
what is cosmology?

It's so complex, you know?

And I have to give
all this context,

like that time isn't linear,

and there's all
these different realms

and universes

that reflect one another
but are also

like entirely unrecognizable--

When's the last time you f*cked?

Hm?

You just seem
really high-strung,

like more than usual,

and it might be good
to get a d*ck in you.

Is that good?

Yep, that's good.

Or maybe just have him
go down on you real slow.

Yeah, we don't
really do foreplay.

You don't what now?

Okay. I--

Okay.

We can stop talking about p*ssy
but like honestly,

when's the last time
you just said, "f*ck it?"

Wait, didn't you
want to watch that?

We saw that.

We did?

This looks good.

No. Mm-mm.

I can't deal with
the Holocaust right now.

It's not a Holocaust
kind of night.

Go to romantic comedies.

What? Ugh.

Fine, I don't care.
You can choose.

I've chosen like four things.

You don't want to
watch any of them.

What if we went out?

Do you see that?

Savage.

I mean, he's gotta be what?

Like...?

Couldn't be more than seven.

He's looking back here.

Do you think he knows
we're talking about him?

Yeah. Just be cool.

I was gonna say three.

Yeah, but I just always
have a hard time

guessing children's ages,
you know.

It could be anywhere
between two and seven.

Yeah.

But even so, who would
take a seven-year-old

to a Bergman film?

It's incredibly heavy.

Incredibly heavy.

You want one?

You mean...?

Hm?

Oh, no. I'm good.

Pft. Savage.

Hey.

Do you think you'll ever
want to have a kid?

What?

Nothing.

Why are you asking me
that right now?

- What do you mean?
- It's just like

such a heavy question
right before bed.

And you know I have
such a big day tomorrow.

It doesn't have
to be heavy, Mae.

Why would you ask me that,
right now?

It's a normal thing to
want after being

with somebody for 13 years.

At some point, you kind of
gotta make a choice--

Yes, but just the fact
that you're asking it is heavy.

I don't make things heavy, Mae.

That's what you do.

Uh-huh.
So, this is my fault.

No, it's not anybody's fault.

- I remember you being--
You're such a child.

What? Oh, yeah.

And this is the part
where you call me names.

Mm-hm.

I'm not doing this.

Doing what?
Feeling sorry for yourself?

How am I feeling
sorry for myself?

Like you're the victim
who's just asking a question,

even though you know
there's so many factors--

Yeah. And the fact that
you were raised in foster care

is not new information.

It's something that
we've worked through.

Oh. We've worked through it?

Yeah. I mean,
you know what I mean.

Okay. And what? And now,
just the word family isn't--

isn't so loaded and-- and--

Family shouldn't be
loaded at this point.

I'm here, okay?
It's scary for me too.

Foster care or not, it's scary.

...trauma like,
not to mention my career

and the fact that I--
I am carrying us financially

which I'm sorry,
but there's like no--

Ugh, you're disgusting.

Are you seriously
calling me a name again?

Like that was--
it's like pathological.

I don't mean it.
You know I don't mean it.

Just stop doing it.
It's so f*cking hurtful.

Mae, okay. Okay.
I'm sorry, I don't mean it.

I just say sh*t when I get upset
and then you use it as points.

- As points?
- Yeah, as points, Mae.

You're keeping score.
You're always keeping score.

You've been keeping score
for the last 13 years.

Today we proudly unveil

our latest exhibition,
The Hungry Ghost.

And here to speak
a little bit more

about the significance
of this mythic

and endearing figure,

Associate Curator Mae Cannon.

Thank you, Vanessa.
Hello, everyone.

Um, this is a
very exciting exhibit

for us,

with its focus on this iconic
and terrifying figure.

Um, in Buddhist cosmology,

there are believed to be
six realms of existence,

one of which is inhabited
by the hungry ghosts,

beings who are in a state

of chronic deprivation
and longing.

As you can see in some
of the depictions behind me,

these beings are both literally
and figuratively hungry,

but the act of swallowing
is incredibly painful,

and so they are always
searching for a nourishment

that they are not
equipped to digest.

Ah, another success, baby!

You was up there with your hair
all slicked, standing up.

I was like, that's my friend.

Madam Associate Curator.

What,
Madame Other Associate Curator

doesn't get a drink?

If you haven't noticed,
babe, I'm parched.

Sorry, I'll go grab you one.

I'm just playing
with you, Elijah.

I mean, I am thirsty as hell

and there was one
fine-a*s monk over there

I think I could turn.

You laugh now but
he dead-a*s said

he's coming to the afterparty.

Oh, listen.

I was wondering if it's okay
if I didn't go to the bar.

I've been on kind of
a writing jag lately.

I thought maybe I could get home
and jot some things down.

Yeah, of course.

Cool.

Okay, I'm going in.

Godspeed.

Buddha speed.

Hi.

So, what did you think?

Careful.

I got a splinter
doing that once.

You know, I never understood
how Frank got away with it.

He just whips out a knife
and goes ham on the bar.

Like where was the bartender?
That's a deep cut, you know?

Mm.

Unless--

and this took me a few
sleepless nights to get...

Frank was the bartender.

Mm.

Yeah.

Well, except...

what if it was Lisa
who was holding the knife?

Stop.

- It's an impressive entourage.
- Oh, yeah.

We, uh, we opened this exhibit
tonight, The Hungry Ghost.

It's a Buddhist--

Oh, yeah. I know
about the hungry ghosts.

No way.

Eric.

Mae.

Guy drinks alone
at bar,

that's a red flag.

Oh, yeah, for sure.

I actually live
across the street.

Been cooped up
writing songs all day.

I was getting antsy.

Bet that's what you say
to all the girls.

Fewer than
you'd think actually.

Oh, really?

No, uh...

Honestly, I just got out
of a big relationship, so...

taking it slow.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear, or...

No, it's okay.
It was amicable. Yeah.

We both just
sort of got stuck

playing roles that weren't
making either of us happy.

Just going through the motions

until we were
rendered sort of...

I don't know... immobile.

That monk's a d*ck.
Um, okay.

Oh... uh, Gina,
this is Eric.

Yeah, yeah, no,
I know who you are.

- Wait, are you like famous?
- No.

Yes.

He was on Obama's
frickin' summer playlist

like three years in a row.

Wait, let me get a photo of you
for my Instagram.

- Hold on.

That one's for me.
I'll tag you.

- I got like 377 followers.
- Okay, great. That's good.

Come here.
Mm-hm. Tilts?

Okay, stick your tongue out.
Aaahhh.

- Now say baby mama.
- I'm not gonna say that.

Okay.
Okay.

- I take what I can get, honey.
- Cool. Good for you.

Okay.
I'm going to go.

Okay.

Okay. Okay.

Hm.
Oh-kay.

Don't do that.

I see you Shawn Carter.

No, Gina.

Okay. Bye...

Leave space
for Jesus, yeah?

Shut up. My God.

I think the monk is
going to come around, actually.

Definitely.

All good?

Yeah.

Do you wanna dance?

f*ck.

Oh sh*t...

Is this okay?

Yes.

Oh sh*t...

I've never come.
I've never come. I've never...

Never what?

I've never--never come from--
you know... this...

That doesn't
seem fair at all.

No, I guess not.

Yes, right...

Oh no...

Oh, no.
No, no, no, no.

Oh, sh*t...

Oh, god.

Eric?

Oh, god.

Eric, I'm gonna head out.

Babe?

Hey, I grabbed
some more oat milk.

We were out.