01x03 - Episode 3

[bunniefuu]

Hello.

We're the Kellys staying in cabin 3.

I'm the caretaker.

Did you eat our

treats last night?

It wasn't me. The Pooka escaped from

this video into the real world

and ate all our treats.

You can drop the act, Kevin.

Why does no one in this family

ever believe me?

The mountain where the shed is built

is said to be a magical portal

to the land of Faerie.

Together, we'll hunt down that

unnatural creature and send him

back to where he came from.

No, wait! Come back!

He doesn't mean any harm.

The Pooka escaped from the video.

And now he won't believe me unless

I show him the Pooka tape.

What secrets does this

dusty old shed hold?

(Theme music)

(Old-school TV theme music)

Katie.

What?

Katie! Come here.

What's wrong with you?

What the hell?

Is this some kind of joke?

What is this?

Did you do this?

Oh, yeah. I designed and printed

a fake video cover

of our entire family in old clothes.

Of course, I didn't do this.

But it can't be real.

(TV audience laughter and TV static)

(Soft music)

It's coming back to me.

(Laughter and TV static)

I remember now

We used to live in that house.

And every week we'd get

up to, like, hijinks.

Dad's boss came around and Mum had to

hide the stray dog I brought home.

Or I had to sneak out of the house

after I ripped your favourite sweater

to buy you a new one.

Don't you remember?

(Music continues)

Oh my God, you're right.

How could I have forgotten all that?

Our whole life was a sitcom.

You and your friends got into

trouble every week,

but you'd all learn a lesson, and

we'd all hug at the end of the day.

That's right.

I had friends, I was happy.

and I was

still a stroppy teenager,

obsessed with what everyone

thought of you.

Don't blame me.

I didn't write it.

But how did we get from an old video

of a sitcom to where we are now?

How could we've forgotten that?

It's the same for the Pooka

He didn't know he'd escaped a video.

He thought he was real!

My memories of childhood were

always a bit fuzzy.

Mine too.

Wait, do Mum and Dad know about this?

Have they been keeping this secret

the whole time?

That our whole life is a lie?

No, they couldn't have.

Could they?

We have to tell them.

We have to show them the video.

Hang on.

We cannot tell anyone about this.

If people find out, they'll stick us

in a lab and do experiments on us.

Please - we're not aliens!

Well, I don't know, do I?

Promise me you won't tell

anyone about this until we

work out what's going on.

Okay.

Not a word to Mum and Dad.

Okay!

We said we'd meet Mum and Dad to

play a board game

to make up for yesterday.

We better go.

But what do we do with this?

We can't leave it here.

And we can't bring it to the cabin -

Mum & Dad might find it.

I know a place I can hide it.

You go to the cabin, I'll catch up

with you.

(Soft music with a gentle rhythm)

(The bin lid clatters)

What you got there? Oh, um. Nothing.

I was just, uh, looking for my phone.

Have you seen it anywhere?

Afraid not dear.

Come on.

I have something to show you.

Look what I found.

Legend tells that if you catch a

fairy and make it look at its

reflection in the mirror it escaped

from,

it gets sucked back

into the land of Faerie.

So,

I was thinking,

if we catch the Pooka

and make it watch the video

it escaped from,

maybe it will get

sucked back into the video.

You mean we could send him home?

I think so.

This is how they used to vanquish

evil creatures back in the day.

I talked to the Pooka.

You did?

Yeah.

I mean, he didn't actually say

anything, but he didn't seem evil.

Sure, evil or not,

he doesn't belong here.

Don't you think he'd be happier

back in his own world?

Kevin?

Yeah, I suppose you're right.

You are right, love.

You seem a little

Yeah. I'm fine.

It's just

What would you do if you found out

someone was lying to you for years.

Well, if it was someone close to me,

I'd think they might have very

good reason for lying.

On the other hand, Dante said liars

would end up in the

eighth circle of hell and

burn forever in eternal flames.

(Strange music)

Oh, I'm feeling lucky, huh?

No. Right.

Six.

I just avoided paying you rent.

(Laughs) Your go Kevin!

Kevin! What?

It's your go!

(Dice roll on the board)

Community chest.

Get out of jail free.

That'll come in handy.

Huh?

Oh, I just mean, like, if you have

any dark secret that finally comes

to light after years of lying,

and you end up in jail Owww!

My go.

Anyone for a cup of tea?

No, thanks. I hate tea.

Can I have some red lemonade?

Since when have you ever been

allowed red lemonade?

Since when have I ever drank tea?

Do you even know me?

Oh, that's my square, isn't it?

And with three houses on it,

you owe me the grand total of 300.

Sorry, love.

Sometimes life just isn't fair.

No. Especially when people

spend years lying to y-- oww!

My turn, is it?

Excellent.

You passed go, collect 200--

Owwww!

What was wrong with that?

Sorry, force of habit.

What's going on with you two?

Nothing! Nothing. I don't know.

Okay, well, it's your

turn, Kevin.

Come on.

Did you and Dad know that we're not

actually real people, and we're just

made up characters that escaped

from an old 80s sitcom?

I have literally no response to

that.

Answer the question.

What is he talking about?

Have you and Mum been lying

to us our entire lives?

No, I have no idea what

you're talking about.

Oh, so you've never heard of an

old TV show called 'The Kellys'?

Kellys?

They don't know.

Don't know what?

What are you talking about?

Fine.

It's just the latest TikTok trend,

you tell your parents that you

escaped from a sitcom,

and you just see how they react.

Isn't that right, Kevin?

I will never understand your

generation sense of humour.

Oh, nice.

What was all that crap

with Mum and Dad?

Cabbage.

What?

You're supposed to say

cabbage, not crap.

We agreed we wouldn't tell anyone.

What difference does it make?

What difference does any of it make?

Would you just calm down?

I have no friends.

I'm bad at school.

I hate my life.

And yes, I did hit Oliver O’Hare in

class.

I knew it! Because he called me

stupid, but I'm only stupid because

that's the way my character

was written.

No wonder I hate it here.

Kevin!

I don't belong here.

None of us do.

Don't!

(Music starts)

I really think we should call in

to Priya and Robbie to apologise

for last night.

What do you think,

Tom?

Tom?

Will you apologise for me too?

I'm just gonna have a little nap and

I'll talk to you later, okay?

Okay, love.

(Music continues)

(Music comes to an end)

Hi.

Hi

Eh, these are for you.

I baked you some lemon pies.

Oh - thank you.

About last night -

I just wanted to say

No, there's no need.

But I shouldn't have left so

abruptly

No, you had to take your boy

But I didn't want you to think

No, not at all

Because I did, I really

was

Me, too - it was really

It really was

(They both sigh)

Well, I'm glad we cleared that up.

Thank you for the

Oh, no bother at all.

You don't seem real.

Excuse me?

I mean, you're just so impressive.

Everything you do with your career

and baking and your kids.

I think I just get intimidated,

and I feel like I have to make my

own life sound more impressive.

Are you kidding me?

I'm the one who feels intimidated.

Why do I feel like I'm in

competition with everyone?

Oh my God, yes - that's

exactly how I feel.

It's exhausting.

Yeah.

Would you like to come in

and have a lemon pie?

Oh, yeah.

We were cancelled after one season.

What?

There's not much on the internet

other than it wasn't very popular

and got cancelled

after one season.

It's not available to stream

anywhere either.

It's funny how Mum and Dad's

memories didn't come back

after we told them about it.

Maybe you need to watch the

video to remember it.

What do you think?

Should we show it to them?

We can't.

Dad's depressed enough

already due to me.

What will happen if he finds

out he's not even real?

Kevin.

Dad's depression is not your fault.

He only got bad after I started

doing bad in school.

That's not

That's just a coincidence.

Then what caused his depression?

I don't know.

But it wasn't you.

I don't understand any of this.

How did we get out of the video?

And can we get back in?

And what happens if someone

finds out we're not real?

We need more information before

we decide what to do next.

How are we gonna do that?

By catching the Pooka and sending

him home tonight.

Come with me.

There's someone you should meet.

(Footsteps as they walk off)

(Gentle music)

(Music continues, with birdsong)

What if we can do things

normal people can't?

Because we're not real?

Like what?

Maybe we have super powers, but we

just haven't discovered them yet.

Did your character have super

powers in the TV show? No, but

So you don't have them in the real

world. That doesn't prove anything.

Maybe just being a made-up character

means we can walk through

walls or turn invisible.

Or maybe we're invulnerable.

(Thump) Oww!

Well, you're not invulnerable.

(Birdsong)

Hi.

Uh, this is my sister, Katie.

She's seen the Pooka.

Another convert to the mighty cause.

Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of

w*r.

Don't mind her.

She's like that sometimes.

So are we ready to catch

this Pooka, then?

Yes, but do you mind

if I record this?

I need to get some sound bites

for my Insta reel intro.

Don't mind her.

She's like that sometimes.

Hey, guys! So we're just about to

embark on our Pooka hunt.

Stay tuned to see what happens.

Why is she talking like an American?

Um, so we need something to lure

the Pooka out into the open.

I've already thought of that.

(Tense music plays)

Are you sure this is gonna work?

He couldn't resist it last night.

I don't know about this.

It's gonna work.

I know it will.

Here. I'll go get into position.

You two stay here and keep an eye

out for him.

Remember, don't put it in your

pocket.

The button will get stuck: you won't

be able to hear me. Oh, right.

Can I hold it like this?

If you try to switch it off first.

Like this.

How long until the Pooka shows up?

Seriously! (Background chatter)

What are we waiting for?

Oh, no. There he is.

(Music continues)

What do we do now?

Sneak up on him and shut the door.

Wait, I think I can talk to him.

(Tense music and footsteps)

Hello?

(Music builds)

(Kevin coughs)

Hi.

Do you remember me from yesterday?

I told you I'd bring you proof

that you came from a video.

And here it is.

"I don't remember this."

Yeah, see, I think you'll only

remember once you watch the video.

So will you come with me and

I can play it for you?

We might even be able

to send you home.

"Can I bring the cake?"

(Music ends)

Can I tell you a secret?

Tom some days he doesn't

get out of bed at all.

I've tried to talk to him about

it a few times,

but he never wants to listen.

Sorry. I don't know why

I'm telling you all this.

No, it's okay, honestly. Do you

think some of Tom's problems

are due to the pressures of being an

architect?

Ehh, he's not actually an architect.

Oh (she laughs)

He's a chef.

Currently unemployed.

Oh, that must be so hard for you.

Thanks.

Sure, you just get through

it day to day?

Here's the name of Robby's

therapist.

Your husband's in therapy?

Oh, yeah.

Ever since his Dad died,

he needed some support.

My number's on there, too.

Promise me you'll call me sometime.

I will.

Thanks.

These lemon pies are delicious.

You're so talented.

Actually, I bought them

in the local shop.

Oh.

It's all lies!

My whole life is a lie!

(They laugh, manically)

(Nervous chuckle)

(Calm music)

What is it?

I want to go home.

This is our last day here,

you'll be home tomorrow.

That's not our home.

Not really.

I mean, our real home

Back in the TV show.

If we can send the Pooka back where

he came from,

then I want to go next.

(Footsteps)

(Music continues)

(VHS player slams shut)

(The Pooka TV theme tune plays)

(TV theme continues)

"I remember now."

(TV static noise, then wind)

Oh. What's happening?

(Dramatic music)

(TV static)

(Mysterious music continues)

(A whoosh noise,

then everything quiets down)

Oh! I - I think we did it.

I think we sent him home.

(Laughs) I can't believe that worked.

I can't believe I wasn't filming.

Well done, you!

You did it!

(Gentle music)

There's only one thing left to do

now.

(The VHS player pops open)

(The music builds in intensity.)

Nooooooooo! (Slowed down)

(Smash!)

(Bang!)

(Crunch!)

(The music fades out)

What did you do?! (Shouted)

That was the final part

of the legend.

Once you've sucked the fairy

back into the mirror,

you have to smash it, to k*ll it.

You k*lled the Pooka?!

It was unnatural, Kevin - you said

it yourself - it didn't belong here.

Okay, yeah, but you didn't have to

k*ll it! (Shouted)

Sometimes to do good

you have to be a bit bad.

We can't have unreal things running

around our world, can we?

It's up to us to keep our world

pure, by destroying them.

Now, we'll have to look and see

if there are any copies

of this videotape.

We don't want another Pooka

escaping, do we?

Actually, we have to go.

Remember? We said we'd

meet Mum and Dad.

(Footsteps)

(Music continues)

Okay.

Do you have your walkie talkie?

in case you want to contact me?

Nice friends you have, Kevin!

I didn't know she was a psycho!

She doesn't know about us -

that we escaped from a video too?

No!

Wait a minute

When the Pooka watched his tape, he

got sucked back in. Why didn't that

happen to us when we watched our

tape? I don't know.

Maybe because we all

came out together

so we all have to watch it

together to go back in?

Yeah, possibly.

No matter what happens, we can't let

the caretaker know our secret.

We have to get Mum and Dad and get

as far away from here as possible.

(Rhythmic, high energy music)

(The music fades on a sustained

note)

I'm just going to lie down for a

bit.

(The door crashes open; footsteps)

Mum, we have to go. We have to get

out of here

as soon as possible. That means now!

Come on, start packing.

Okay. Stop.

What are you talking about?

Why do we have to leave?

Do you trust me?

(She laughs) No.

Should I tell her?

We don't have a choice.

Okay, we can't tell Dad, but what I

said earlier about how we all

escaped from a video.

It's all true.

We're not real.

We only think we're real.

But we're actually made of characters

from an old 80s sitcom.

Is this because I took your phone

away? This isn't funny.

I'm not trying to be funny.

This is dead serious.

And if we don't get out of here right

now, we might actually end up dead.

Come on, back me up

Are you filming this?

What? This is really good drama.

He's telling the truth. We have to

go now.

I don't believe this. You two

finally agree on something,

and it's this nonsense?

You're not listening.

We could all do with a break,

I thought -

get away from it all with

a few days in the countryside.

What could be more relaxing?

Wait - we can prove it.

Where is the Kelly's videotape?

I'll go get it. Stay right here.

(Footsteps)

(Music)

(Bin lid clatters)

(Bin lid clatters)

(More clattering)

Looking for this?

And the liars shall be banished

to the eighth circle of hell.

And burn forever in eternal flames.

(Music builds to a crescendo)

(End credit music)