01x02 - Valacor

[bunniefuu]

- [Christina Aguilera: "Vanity"]
- ♪ b*tch ♪

♪ Mirror, mirror, on the wall ♪

♪ Who's the flyest
b*tch of them all? ♪

♪ Never mind, I am ♪

♪ That b*tch is so
f*cking pretty ♪

♪ Yeah, I am ♪

♪ If I were her,
I would kiss me ♪

- ♪ Mwah ♪
- ♪ Hey! ♪

- Hallelujah.
- ♪ Mirror, mirror on the wall ♪

[slow, distorted] ♪ Hit up Prince
Charming, tell him give me a call... ♪

[lights crackling]

Aw, come on.

[whooshing]

- [crackling]
- [glass pops]

[eerie voice whispering]

[rustling, crackling]

[hissing, popping]

[eerie voice whispering]

[eerie growl]

The Lord is my shepherd.
I shall not want.

He maketh me lie down
in green pastures

and leadeth me beside
the still waters.

[eerie screaming]

Yea, though I walk through the
valley of the shadow of death,

I shall fear no
evil, for thou art...

- [high-pitched whirring]
- [grunts]

[screaming]

[spooky organ music playing]

So, are you officially
refusing the position?

- Hub...
- It's B.S., Mom.

She's about to ask for your credit
card and Social Security number.

[chuckles] If you
really think so,

then I'll just need to
get verbal confirmation

for corporate so I can
start your paperwork.

They'll want to send
someone else right away

and, of course, um,
process your return.

[suspenseful music playing]

Oh, where are my manners?

Forgive me. I can see
you've had quite a night.

Let us get you
something for the road.

Just give us a couple
of minutes to...

Mr. Halloran?

How do you take your coffee?

[recorder clicks off]

Hot.

I just don't understand

why my boy would
get sent to Hell.

That part you'd have to

ask your son about. Though

a lot of people have
trouble admitting it,

in my experience.

I just know what's
on the intake form.

What I can tell you is we
haven't had a jailbreak

in the Southeast region since...

...since I started
working for the company,

which is... longer
than I'd care to admit.

A jailbreak?

Imagine Hell is
a sort of prison.

Right? And sometimes
inmates bust out.

This time, one of
'em busted out here.

- In Landry?
- Last time was in Pascagoula.

The point is, if one got
out, more might be coming.

Warden wants 'em
found and sent back.

Find 'em how?

Oh. Um... [mutters]

The basics are in
this manual here,

though, frankly, the company
hasn't updated it since '73,

so I'd go online if I were you.

But I'm guessing you may have
already had an encounter.

So, you get the gist.

Demons can possess people and
pass as human in our world.

Since you came back from Hell,
you'll be able to see demons

and they'll know
you're a threat.

Watch yourself.

[Kitty] What do you
mean, "Send 'em back"?

k*ll 'em. Oh, no.

Technically, they're
already dead.

Well, at least the person
that they used to be is.

Demons nowadays first
k*ll their victim,

then possess them.

Helps 'em work around any
kind of exorcism wrinkles.

You just put one in the
brain, and... [chuckles]

You'll see, hopefully,
for all of us.

I mean, I'm willing to concede that
Hub is nobody's idea of perfect.

Anybody can see he has flaws.

But... Hell?

Exactly. Thank you.

Everybody has flaws. Christ.

- Hub.
- Look, he was dead,

the boss tapped him to come back,
and now that is the only reason

that he is standing here now

and not wailing and gnashing his
teeth next to the lake of fire.

I don't know what
else to tell you.

[Kitty] Well, is there some
way out? There must be.

At the end of his assignment?

[Midge] Like a "get
out of jail free" card?

- [Kitty] Mm-hmm.
- This is his "get out of jail free" card.

But it doesn't last forever,
okay? When it's over, you...

How long do I have?

[Midge] Well, it depends
how many demons get loose.

But I'd plan to be busy. Now,

the real issue is how good
you are at sending 'em back.

How's that?

Because if you fail to process
any demons assigned to you,

you will be terminated.

Immediately.

I know.

So, my advice is just
make the most of it.

You know, I have found

that it is the employees that
can find the silver lining

in all of this that have
the best experience.

What silver lining?

Well, it's up to you.

Anyway, thank you
for the coffee.

It was delicious. [chuckles]

[quietly] I like your mom.

- [door opens]
[i]- [vehicle engine starts]

[Kitty] [i]How do we get

in touch with you?

You don't.

- What a crock.
- Right?

I was sure she was gonna whip
out the Mary Kay at first.

I'll be out back.

- [organ music playing on radio]
- [man on radio] [i]In the shadow of David,

[i]when harm bears
down on our kin...

[engine chugging loudly]

[i]We're stewards of God's love.

[i]- Yet, in his wisdom...
- Hey.

- ...He knows our mortal coil is bound
- Hey.

- In sinew and blood.
- Hey.

Breaking our deal,
fellas? Where I'm from?

Charged with safeguarding His gifts...
our families.

But praise the Lord.

I'm a changed man now.

Praise the Lo... Praise...

Praise the Lord, I'm
a changed man now.

Should you face that
harrowing juncture...

[laughing] Praise the Lord,
I'm a changed man now.

[i]...act with a heart

[i]- seeking righteousness.
- Praise the Lord,

I'm a changed man now.

The Lord, in his
boundless grace...

Inbred hillbilly f*ck!

[i]Cling to Him,

[i]- for His mercy flows...
- One, two...

- ...even through our most troubled waters.
- ...three, four,

five.

[eerie music playing]

[flies buzzing]

Oh, f*ck.

Oh... f*ck.

Oh, f*ck me.

♪ ♪

- [thumping]
- [muffled shouts]

Mm-mmm.

[groans]

It was Hub Halloran.

[panting]

- [engine growling]
- [wood crunching, snapping]

[muffled] Hub!

- Hub!
- What?

We need to talk.

About what?

- [engine shuts off]
- Hey.

I was using that.

Stump's been here a dang
decade. It can wait.

Tell me the truth and
don't lie, or I'll know it.

Did you die?

Yeah, I think maybe I did.

- How?
- Lucky Callahan.

Well, then how come he's not
the one got tapped for Hell?

I expect it's 'cause
nobody's sent him there yet,

but I sure as sh*t plan to.

Oh, Lord, I was afraid it
was something like that.

Well, we're gonna deal
with that man later.

Hey. Hey.

Hub, did you or did you not

- see a demon?
- Well, I don't know about a demon, but...

Yeah, I did.

Well, then what are you out here
being a stick in the mud for?

Mama, if I squint, sure, I can see
the first part of what she's selling.

Dying and coming back... fine.

But it's the whole "bounty
hunter for the Devil" bit

that I don't like.

Well, nobody asked
if you like it.

The question is what are
you fixin' to do about it?

'Cause I heard
"terminated immediately."

So the consequences of
dillydallying here are steep.

And you sure as sh*t ain't
gonna find no answers

digging up my backyard.

Or demons, if it
does come to that.

[eerie music playing]

[door opens]

"Val-a-cor." Well, that's
got an ominous ring to it.

Type of demon. Plus, a
location. Longitude, latitude.

I'm guessing that that's
where it made its jailbreak.

[Kitty gasps]

Oh, no.

Hub, that's my church.

Now, Mama, don't
have kittens yet,

but you're right about the stakes,
so I'm-I'm gonna check this out.

I'm not signing up for the whole
lifetime supply of Mary Kay yet,

but I'm gonna find
out what's going on,

make sure that nobody gets hurt.

Well, that's more
like it. Let's go.

I really think you
should stay here.

Absolutely not.

If this Valacor demon
could in any way

endanger Pastor Ron

or the congregation...

This is our town, Hub.

We need to let them know, now.

Okay. First of all,

if you're coming, you
have to wait in the car.

Say it. Come on.

- I promise.
- And second,

before we do anything,

I need to tell you
something about your pastor.

[eerie music playing]

[engine shuts off]

- Are you sure?
- Yep.

- Like, 1,000% sure?
- Yep, I'm sure.

'Cause I did hear rumors
about a drinking problem.

He wasn't drunk, Ma.

Made a guy levitate
right in front of me.

[groans softly] Well...

I hope he's feeling
better this morning.

Wait in the car.

[whimpers softly]

[ominous music playing]

[door squeaks]

[door closes]

[gasps]

[whispering] Mom!

You... you promised.

[normal volume] I know, but then I
thought, "This is hallowed ground."

We're safe.

Ron?

R-Ron, it's Kitty Halloran.

Ooh, Lord, what is that smell?

[groans]

[gasps]

Is that his face?

[Hub] Well...

it ain't pizza.

Oh...

You know this means that
it's all true, right?

Starting to look that way.

I mean all of it.

You, Lucky, Hell...
the whole deal.

- Yep.
- And God.

Maybe.

Oh, Hub...

Does add a point to your
argument, I'll give you that.

Oh, please.

You know it now.

What I do know

is if I'm gonna go hunt
down a demon pastor

that kicked my
mama out of church,

I want Maryanne and
Cade out of here.

♪ It leaves nothing
but darkness behind... ♪

Hey, can I talk to
you for a minute?

Mm-hmm. But I'm kind of busy.

Been short-staffed around here
since Cheryl went missing.

You think those lazy-a*s cops
are really looking for her?

Yeah, they said they would.

Hand me that Allen
wrench, would you?

[Hub] I changed my mind.

I want you to go to Nashville with
Cade. You could even go early,

show him around a bit.

Wow.

- What?
- Nothing, just... this is a first.

Well, come on, I
know I got my flaws,

but I'm not the
absolute worst, right?

I'm just surprised is
all, but thank you.

This means a lot.

Maybe you could
take him by Rosie's

for a slice of the key lime.

Old times' sake.

You have cancer, don't you?

What? No.

- Prostate?
- Hey, I'm just

trying to do something
nice here. sh*t.

- Right.
- [Lucky] You done with that

pool table yet, babe? I...

[dramatic music playing]

Hub signed the form.
We're good for Nashville.

Yeah, y'all have a great trip.

And I'll catch you later.

♪ ♪

[Hub] Hey, Mom?

Does Berta McKee still
work down at Georgia Power?

Mama. Berta McKee.

Last I spoke to her.

Last night at Earle's,
when the demon came near,

lights started going crazy.

And-and that fuse box
down at the church...

Son, why did you
get sent to Hell?

I've been too afraid to ask,
but now I've got to know.

- Absolutely no idea.
- Hub.

It was a mistake, Mom,

but I think there may
be a way to fix it.

A loophole, maybe.
There's always a loophole.

Was I a bad mother?

What? No.

Because... I was supposed
to keep you on the path.

That was my job.

And I failed.

[Kitty sobbing]

[knocking at door]

[Hub] Hey, Mama, Berta says
they've been getting calls

about power surges up at the
Jessup Pines recycling center.

Okay.

[Hub] Yeah, so I'm
thinking that...

maybe wherever this thing
goes, it spikes the power.

Mama?

We can't k*ll him, Hub.

Ron's still a man of God,

no matter what happened to him.

I won't do it.

Promise me.

[Garrison Star & The Gospel Truth:
"Ain't No Grave"]

[i]♪ There ain't no grave ♪

[i]♪ Can hold my body down ♪

[i]♪ No, there ain't no grave ♪

[i]♪ Can hold my body down ♪

[i]♪ And when I hear
that trumpet sound ♪

[i]♪ Gonna rise right
out of the ground ♪

[i]♪ There ain't no grave ♪

[i]♪ Can hold my body down ♪

[Hub] Hey, why don't
you sit this one out?

Aren't you supposed to be
retired from this part?

I will not sit at home
wondering if my boy's

run off and got
himself k*lled again.

I won't do it.

Yeah, it's not like we're
running down a drunk.

This is dangerous. No.

He was my pastor.

And now he's
possessed by a demon.

I will not fail him
like I failed you.

And if you're right,

and I get to help save
your immortal soul

by ridding my hometown of...

well, whatever he
is... well, I can think

of worse ways to meet my maker.

[i]♪ Meet me, Mother and Father ♪

[i]♪ Meet me down the river run ♪

[i]♪ And, Mama, you know that I'll
be there when I check in my loan ♪

[i]♪ 'Cause there ain't no
grave can hold my body down ♪

[electricity crackling]

[Hub] She says that I'm the
only one that can see demons.

So... this is my problem, Mom.

You stay in the car.

Don't be a fool.

It was your pride.

- Mom...
- The thing that got you

sent down. Your cardinal sin.

I told you it was a mistake.

And we're gonna find
a way out of it.

That's pride.

Thinking you're smarter
than Him upstairs

who don't exactly have a reputation
for making mistakes like that.

It was pride that got
between you and Maryanne

when you refused to
compromise with your music.

And it was pride when you
turned down that perfectly good

studio job to come work for me.

And damn if it ain't
still pride now.

They wanted me to pay
me like an intern, Mom.

Oh, and here you are
with no career at all.

Haven't touched a
guitar in a decade.

Living in my garage, basically.

I guess you showed them.

I have my principles.

Please.

Your wife ran off with a man

from Boston.

Jiminy Christmas, boy.

If that ain't a sign that you've lost
your way, well, I don't know what is.

Are you done?

No.

I was doing this job before you knew
your a*s from a hole in the ground,

so the only fool here is you
if you don't let me help.

[sighs]

Fine.

How you want to play it?

Remember that skip we caught
up on Springer Mountain?

[electricity crackling]

[Kitty] Glad I'm not
paying their power bill.

[Hub] Ma, just set the
darn trap, would you?

[crows cawing]

[bats screeching]

[footfalls echo]

[liquid dripping]

[tense music playing]

♪ ♪

[clanking, creaking]

[Hub] What the f*ck?

No. Whoa, whoa, whoa. No,
no, no, no, no, no. Oh, sh*t.

[grunts]

[groans]

[radio stations changing]

What in the heavens?

[♪ The Consolers: "My
Soul's Salvation"]

Watch the bear trap.

[i]♪ I got to work on my
soul's salvation... ♪

[Hub] Mom, get back in the car.

[i]♪ Because I may not have
this chance anymore ♪

[i]♪ Whoa, whoa... ♪

[Kitty] Now tranq him.

[i]♪ While I have the chance ♪

[i]♪ Yeah, I got to work
on my soul's salvation ♪

[i]♪ While I have the chance ♪

By the power of God and
our Lord Jesus Christ.

[i]♪ While I have the chance... ♪

[roars]

No!

Ooh!

[grunting]

[gasps]

[groans]

[straining]

[i]♪ Anymore ♪

[i]♪ Yes, I got to tell ♪

[i]♪ The world about Jesus
while I have the chance ♪

[i]♪ I got to tell the
world about Jesus ♪

[i]♪ While I have the chance... ♪

[i]- ♪ I got to tell the world about Jesus ♪
- [whooshing]

- ♪ Oh, yeah ♪
- Gonna need a new bear trap.

And I got to find a new church.

You okay?

No. You?

Nope.

Okay. Let's go.

♪ Yeah, took my feet
out the miry clay ♪

[i]♪ Set 'em on a rock this day... ♪

[engine revs loudly]

[i]♪ Oh, yeah, thinking
about testifying... ♪

[Kitty] [i]No denying it now.

So you gonna take the
job with Mary Kay?

Feels like I just did.

[dramatic music playing]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪