01x04 - Topping Is a Sacred Skill

[bunniefuu]

[person] Just hold still, Molly.

Sorry if I'm being dramatic.

Mmm. Yeah, I'm not

feeling anything.

Really? 'Cause I thought

I felt something.

[doctor] You know, the chances are so

small that it would be cancer at your age.

Don't worry.

Get some sleep. Are you

drinking enough water?

[nurse 1 scoffs] The gloves

down here are always too small.

[nurse 2 chuckles] Maybe your hands

are too big. You know what that means.

[Molly] Oh, my God.

Are they flirting?

[nurse 2, muffled]

You're blushing.

[Molly] It's like I'm not here.

It's like I'm part of this table.

[nurse 1 continues, muffled]

[Molly] I'm so sick

of being a patient.

[nurse 2] Hold on.

Okay, Molly. I'm gonna

put on some music.

["Live Your Life"

plays through speakers]

[mechanical whining continues]

Leaning out the window ♪

Touching stars ♪

[Molly] I don't want music.

I don't want music!

Got to live your life ♪

Stop. Stop the music!

[nurse 2] Please,

please don't move.

Stop!

Hi. Okay Um

Sorry, listen. Uh, w-what exactly, uh,

is the issue wi-with the radiation?

I just I wa Is it okay if I

just take a break just for a few days?

- I'm I'm sorry.

- We really

No, no. Don't say sorry.

- [Molly] I need a break. I need a break.

- [Dr. Pankowitz] Sorry. Listen.

- Don't say you're sorry, Molly. Get angry.

- Wait. Laura,

- I need you to help me out here.

- What? I'm sorry.

Dr. P, it's Nikki.

- My name is Nikki.

- Nikki.

Nikki. Of course, I'm sorry.

Thank you, Sonya, for piping up.

And, look No, I know.

I-I understand. I-I get it.

What with the hip surgery, you have

both had, huh, a rough time this month.

What did you say? A rough time?

- Well

- Okay.

[Nikki] I just want you to remember that

pieces of her bone have been removed.

She's got a metal

rod in her leg.

And now she has a

tumor in her eye.

So I'm pretty sure you didn't

just say, "A rough time,"

because if you did, then

you're gonna have to go ahead

and kiss Laura's a*s.

- [Nikki] Oh, f*ck.

- [Dr. Pankowitz] What

- I'm sorry.

- Um

Well, I can't unsee that, can I?

No, obviously you can.

He's been an oncologist

for 40 years.

They're talking about

banning you from procedures.

- [Nikki] That makes sense.

- [Molly] Is she okay?

She looks so tired.

I think we're both losing it.

[Sonya] losing

control like that.

[Molly] "Blindfold sex. Cuckolding.

Tickle t*rture. Lactation fetish?"

I don't think I have that one.

- Okay. That sounds right.

- No, no, no.

[Molly] " Wall Street wolf by

day, your little b*tch by night."

- Huh, that's promising.

- [Nikki] No, no. It's fine.

I won't grab my butt at

any more doctors. Okay?

You have been so angry.

I I'm great. I'm fine.

And I'm doing all

this, and I'm smiling.

Well, it's a very weird smile.

- Is it?

- Mm-hmm.

Molly.

[chuckles]

- [Nikki chuckles]

- Molly.

Radiation is gonna make you

feel better in the long run.

- I don't think you should stop.

- I don't wanna talk about being sick.

I joined a kinky

dating app yesterday.

Do you think I'm a spanko

painslut cuckquean?

Yes. Oh, yes.

[Sonya] I hear you.

You both need a break

from the hospital.

- Okay. Come here. Come here.

- [Nikki] What's this?

Shh. What're you

doing tomorrow night?

And do you have any clothes that

you would describe as pop princess

who is secretly f*cking

all the Spice Girls?

I, like, have been preparing for

whatever this is for my entire life.

Do I look like I have cancer?

- No, you look like you have chlamydia.

- Okay.

Really? That's what

I was going for.

- [Sonya] Hi, hi, hi.

- Hey.

You look perfect.

- Thank you.

- Is that food?

Ah, it's lasagna.

It's for the potluck.

["Mama Got Game" plays]

[Molly] This is a sex party

potluck? This is a f*ck potluck?

That's my ex. It's their party.

[Molly] Whoa, there's some really

interesting smells in here.

Like vag*na and oregano.

Is that a butthole?

No, it's a lamp.

- Sonya.

- G.

And Sonya's friends.

Let me take your coats.

- Welcome, welcome.

- Hey.

[G] Okay, well, obviously

you guys signed the waiver,

so you understand

the rules, right?

There's no touching

without consent,

and if anyone makes

you uncomfortable

[Molly] Oh, my God.

This is too much.

I'm staying for ten minutes,

and then I'm leaving.

Here are your drink tickets.

- I want that. Yeah.

- Yeah. And, uh

- Sorry, but we're out of ice.

- It's 10:15.

- How are you already out of ice?

- You wanna get ice?

- Get ice. A lot of people came.

- You are so chaotic.

- They had ice.

- Okay, okay, okay.

- I drink my sh*t neat.

- All right.

So

In this room, no phones.

["BET" plays]

[Molly] Oh, my God.

[Sonya] We have dancing!

We have some cuddling happening.

Vulva studying. Shibari ropes.

Hey, Sasha. Are you

getting tied tonight?

You do, I know you do, baby ♪

Bet, bet on that ♪

You do, bet you

do, S-Say you do ♪

Bet, bet on that ♪

You, you, you do ♪

[music stops]

[person shushes]

[moaning]

[moans]

- [moans]

- Do you like that?

- You're mine now.

- Yes.

Oh, yes.

[G] You're incredible.

Touch yourself.

Yeah. Just like that.

[G's partner moaning]

[G] Don't come until I say so.

[G's partner] Please.

[whispering] Please.

[G] Now.

[G's partner moaning]

[G] Perfect.

- [crowd cheering]

- [G's partner panting]

[panting continues]

What's going on

for you right now?

You okay?

[stammers] That's-That's

what I want.

[sighs]

What did Sonya

tell you about us?

Uh, nothing. Just

that you dated and

Uh, we didn't date. We f*cked.

d*kes can be disgusting people.

It was profane.

Almost sacrilegious.

God. I just I just loved

watching you at the party.

[whispering] Tell me

how to do what you do.

[whispering] Why

are you whispering?

[normal] You think this is

something to be ashamed about?

[whispering] No.

[scoffs]

Look, topping's a

sacred skill, okay?

All right? It's just

learning what terrifies you,

and working with

that until you come.

It's about facing down the shadow self

that lives inside all of us, right?

Who are you inside?

What type of animal are you?

Yeah, I don't know.

I mean, I'm not a top.

Or Or [stammers]

I-I don't know what you call it.

Like, a Like a dominatrix.

[groans] It's-It's not

about the terminology,

it's about the

subconscious, right?

Don't even think.

What do you fantasize

about? Tying someone up?

Total control? Anything.

I kicked my neighbor

in the f*cking d*ck.

f*ck, yeah. f*ck,

yeah. Yes, you did.

See, that's hot.

That's some sh*t.

See, now-now we're

talking, right?

So you get off on having a

certain type of power, right?

- Yes.

- Hmm.

So the first step then is to put

yourself in a more submissive role.

No, I wanna be in control.

Right, right.

Well, in order to be

good at being in control,

you need to understand what

it's like to submit sexually.

- So, look. I'd be willing to show you.

- No.

You don't wanna submit to me?

No. I-I need to be in charge.

[scoffs] Submission

scares you, I get it.

I was just looking

for some pointers.

[groans]

When you're ready to meet

your shadow self, come back.

The whale's in my section again.

Thank you for-for your time.

- [Nikki] What?

- Thank you.

Your sister wants to know

why you quit the play.

- Oh, those jeans are so cute.

- Thank you.

[gags] Why do you

smell so bad? [gags]

Oh, my God.

- Ugh.

- She went to a sex party last night.

No. It was a It was a

kink-forward play party potluck.

I need you to stay as far

away from me as possible.

I'm too pregnant for that sh*t.

[grunts] Okay, and I

didn't quit the play.

I would not ever quit

the play. I got fired.

Why? Because you're taking

Molly to doctor's appointments?

Don't do that.

[Noah] She's at the hospital

every day. She's being amazing.

[Nikki's sister] So what, you're just

gonna let Molly ruin your entire life?

I'm sorry, but I'm concerned.

This is new for you. The

taking care of someone.

Can you just shut up? Like,

just stop f*cking talking.

Hey, Nikki. You okay?

[whispering] I'm sorry.

Sorry.

[chuckles] So my buddy started

calling me Hoops as a goof,

because I sucked at basketball.

And then they started

calling me Hooper.

[Molly] How do we start

talking about it? I don't know.

- I think I'm the one that has to initiate.

- Actually, I changed it legally.

So when did you figure out

that you liked orgasm t*rture?

Uh, probably when I was

canvassing for Obama. Like '06.

Oh.

So do you wanna go

over boundaries?

Oh, right. Yes. Um

No bruises. I work in finance.

But I do want you to step on me.

And I'm into p*nis humiliation.

- Is that when I yell at your p*nis?

- Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I want you to talk about

how small and sad my p*nis is.

And are-are you into c*ck cages?

Excuse me. Sorry. Is it possible to

get some whole milk with this, please?

- [waiter] Sure.

- [Hooper] Like, the good stuff from a cow.

[Molly] Let's go to

the World Wide Web.

Oh.

Oh. Yeah, I can do that.

Yay.

What about you?

What're your limits?

Oh. Um

I keep my underwear on.

I don't talk about

my personal life.

No penetrative sex.

And you don't come

unless I say so.

Totally cool. I can

respect a hard limit.

I like your, uh, cane.

[Molly] Oh, sh*t. The cane.

Is that part of the kink?

Oh, yeah.

It's my thing.

[both chuckle]

[knocks on door]

[Molly] Can he tell the belt

is actually a back brace?

Stop it. You have all the

power. You're in control.

He shouldn't be standing in front

of you. He should be kneeling.

Kneel down.

Where everyone could see

you, you dirty little boy.

[elevator dings, opens]

- [Hooper] Can I smell you please?

- [Molly] Yes.

[sniffs]

[exhales slowly]

[Nikki] No, your neighbor

saw you? Did you talk to him?

No, I couldn't, 'cause I was in

the middle of getting smelled.

- Oh, but of course.

- Besides,

he doesn't even

look at me anymore.

So So I had c*ck cage guy walk

on his knees into my apartment.

And then I tried to insult his p*nis,

but when I took off his clothes

Oh, my God. I'm so scared.

What was it? Was it awful?

[Molly] It was beautiful.

Like, this was the most

beautiful d*ck I have ever seen.

You hate it, don't you?

[Molly] It was like finding a beautiful

secret waterfall made of p*nis.

Yeah.

- It was like a p*nis waterfall.

- [Nikki laughs]

Is it the worst one

you've ever seen?

What a terrible d*ck.

[sighs]

What a stupid, stupid p*nis.

Now stand up.

[metal clinks]

It goes through the

Yeah, that goes

Just thread that through

the The little metal part.

- It's-It's like a bike lock.

- [grunts]

You're doing great.

I'll just Here. I'll get it.

- Okay.

- Yeah. It's This is tough.

This part is actually

the hardest part.

It's just, like

Kinda tying a shoe.

- Just over the loop, and boop.

- Okay, got it.

And once it's on,

just clip that.

Okay. Sorry.

- I practiced. I just

- It's okay. That's okay. That's okay.

So then what're

you supposed to do?

You put it in the thing.

In the Did you cage it?

No. I mean, I couldn't

do it. It was too big.

- Shut up.

- [chuckling] Yes.

I had to, like, cram it in

- like I was balling up a sweat sock.

- [screams]

You did it. You just go for it.

He's coming back tomorrow

so that I can step on him.

- [laughs]

- Oh, my God.

[both laugh]

Yeah. Hold on.

But, well, let me just figure it out,

'cause I gotta check my schedule.

That's him.

Well, let me just

see. Hold on a second.

[Molly] That's my old doctor.

Oh, have you been

coming here a lot?

[Molly] Yes.

I No. I-I don't know.

I just like to watch him.

Well, either's good.

Come on.

How How do you not just, like,

wanna f*cking k*ll this guy?

Look at this f*cking as*h*le.

That's [laughs]

This is f*cking

bullshit right here.

He couldn't be bothered to order

a mammogram, and now you're dying,

and he's like, "Oh, I'll just do,

like, normal f*cking sh*t right now."

Just normal f*cking life

for this f*cking as*h*le.

Stop, stop. I don't

want him to see me.

[grunts]

[Molly] When did we

both get so angry?

- Are you okay?

- [Nikki laughs]

Yeah, I am fine.

[groans]

Well, actually, whatever. I didn't

really know how to tell you this,

but I got fired from

the play a month ago.

[Molly] No.

Actually, I quit. Or it

was a quit-fire situation.

It's not a big deal.

I missed a bunch of

rehearsals, which is whatever,

but I didn't wanna tell you

because I did not want you to think

that it was, like,

because of you,

or it happened because

I'm taking care of you.

- It is. It is because of me.

- No, it's not.

Wait, but then why have we been

running your lines together?

[chuckles] That's a good

question. I actually don't know.

I guess I just like

reading Shakespeare to you.

[doctor laughs]

Okay. That's hilarious.

Okay, that's great. Well,

yeah. Well, you better.

Hmm.

[Hooper breathing heavily]

[gasps]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[both grunt]

[Hooper moaning]

[Hooper exhales]

[Molly] I'm gonna

cover your face.

[moans]

[high-pitched sound continues]

[grunts]

[Hooper pants]

[Molly] You're weak.

You're pathetic.

- I hate you. I hate you.

- [Hooper] Red.

I hate you.

[Hooper] Red. Red.

- I hate you!

- Red!

- [high-pitched sound stops]

- What?

What?

Sorry, why did you say Why

did you call the safe word?

You were great. You were great.

It's just, uh

It-It kinda felt like you were

thinking about something else there.

And you gotta be careful.

Like, top drop is really scary.

Let's get some Let's

get some snacks, and

Uh

Zesty jalapeño chips?

[Molly] sh*t.

I would like to

I am here to submit

sexually to you.

- [G] Jesus.

- [Molly] What?

You said not to whisper

or to be ashamed.

Okay, but can you keep

it chill a little bit?

Come on.

I'm going on break.

Nobody touch my napkins.

[sighs]

You're right. I'm scared.

I'm scared

I'm scared of not

being in control.

I'm scared of not being

able to feel or move.

I'm scared of losing my body.

Something happened

to you, right?

Yeah.

I get it.

Look, vanilla sex

you can disappear, right?

You can fake it. Who cares?

This sh*t, you can't disappear.

Especially if you're in control.

Right? That's like driving a car

and taking your hands off the wheel.

It's f*cking dangerous, right?

[chuckles]

You need to just

learn to stay present.

Stay right here.

Can you show me?

Do you want to submit to me?

Yes.

Good.

Remember, you have the power

to stop this at any time.

I wanna touch you now.

Is that okay?

Yes.

[Molly] Anyone could walk in here

at any second and just see us and

Shh.

Quiet.

Just be here.

[G] Just breathe.

Do you like that?

Do you want more?

Yes.

What do you want me to do next?

Don't go anywhere.

Stay right here.

Stay right here.

I want

you to tie my hands together, but

I don't want them over my head.

Good. Good.

[gasps]

[Molly exhales]

[blowing]

[G blows]

Was that too much?

No.

Okay, I wanna stop now.

[G] Okay.

Good.

That was beautiful.

You're so powerful.

Okay, so, uh, you've

I want you to sit next to me.

Oh, I'm sorry, I

have a very busy

Sit.

[clears throat]

I'm going to hold

your hand now, okay?

Okay.

I'd like to know

your first name.

Oh.

It's Jerry.

- Jerry, hi.

- Hi.

Where are you from, Jerry?

Ooh. Well, um, just

outside Toledo.

Um, near the zoo.

Jerry, going forward,

I need you to walk me through

ahead of time, step by step,

what will happen

during a procedure.

I need you to answer all

my questions, and Nikki's.

I need you to listen to

me when I say what I feel,

and hear me when I

say I need a break.

Now breathe with me.

Breathe with you? That's

[chuckles] That's not

That's not my cup of tea.

- I don't I don't think I can

- You can do it, Jerry.

[sniffles, coughs]

[both breathing deeply]

Okay. You can go now.

[door opens, closes]

We're gonna figure out a

way to not be so angry.

["Cool and Bendable" plays]

[stammers] I forgive you!

Look at me!

Yeah! f*ck you!

I forgive you. I forgive you!

Yeah! Me! I forgive you!

I forgive you!

[grunts]

I forgive you.

I would like

something special ♪

I would like to hold

it, Touch it, it be real ♪

[doorbell buzzes]

Something cool and bendable ♪

Hey. Um

Molly told me how you helped her,

and I wanted to say thank you.

[sighs]

Why don't you come inside,

take off all your clothes,

and put on the movie Minions?

Yes, my king.

Can it watch out And

tell me when I'm crazy ♪

[Molly sighs] This f*cking guy.

could be vulnerable ♪

I would like that too ♪

I don't know if you're

embarrassed about what happened

or if you think about it at all,

but we're gonna keep bumping into each

other, so get over it and look at me.

Something cool and bendable ♪

I think about it all the time.

I would like

Something special ♪

I said look at me.

I want something

cool And bendable ♪

[elevator dings]

I would like

Something unusual ♪

I would like it To

know how to party ♪

Something unflappable ♪

Can it have moves

And platform shoes ♪

And know how to dance ♪

I would like

Something special ♪

I want something

cool And bendable ♪

I would like

Something special ♪

I want something

cool And bendable ♪