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01x05 - White Boy

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Vince Staples Show". Aired: February 15, 2024 – present.*
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Comedy series.

01x05 - White Boy

Post by bunniefuu »

[mellow piano music playing]

[gentle music playing]

Vincent. Come on, sweetie.

Good morning.

Let's get up.

Time to get ready for school.

It's gonna be a great day today.

All right, let's see what we got here.

- [Vincent] I need help. I can't tie this.

- Okay, you know what?

After you brush your teeth,

your daddy will help you, okay?

Come on, let's go.

Come on, let's go.

Hurry up.

Hey, uh, sweetie.

I am going to need you to

- Thank you.

- [man] Mm-hmm.

Pick him up today, okay?

- Okay.

- All right.

- More overtime?

- [Anita] Yeah.

Maxine, she gave me her shift.

You know we need it.

Yeah.

Kurt's got some business

he wants to run by me.

So I'mma go over there today

and see what he talkin' about.

- Kurt ain't sh*t.

- [man] It's your brother-in-law.

I don't care if he's Jesus.

I don't trust that n*gga.

[sips]

Don't be late, okay?

- [man] Okay.

- [Anita] All right.

It's time to eat!

[urine trickling]

[toilet flushes]

[door shuts]

- Good morning, Vincent.

- Good morning, Mom.

So, you excited

for the first day of school?

Yeah, I guess.

Your daddy wrote us,

said he got the pictures that we sent.

Said you gettin' real big.

You gonna sh**t right by us. [chuckles]

Hey, he really wishes he could be here.

I know.

[microwave beeps]

[gentle music playing]

[exhales]

[loud banging on door]

[indistinct chatter]

- [banging continues]

- [school bell rings]

[woman] Here are

your morning announcements.

This year's homecoming disco dance

is this Friday from

[indistinct chatter]

Vince, we're ready for you.

[door shuts]

My Young Black Scholars.

We're here to combat erasure,

combat prejudice.

And the only way we can do that

is with an open dialogue,

sharing our stories.

This month, we have exceptional speakers,

all alumni.

Most importantly, all strong Black voices.

[student coughs]

First up, we have one of our very own,

Vince Staples.

[clears throat]

How you all doing? Hmm.

My name is Vince, um, Staples.

Can I go to the bathroom?

Yeah, go ahead.

[shoes squeaking]

[Vince clears throat]

[suspenseful music playing]

My bad, what was I sayin'?

You know, I went to this school

when I was a kid, like you.

[suspenseful music continues]

[door hinge creaks]

[lock clicks]

[door hinge creaks]

[lock clicks]

[student 1] How much you want?

[student 2] Like an eighth?

Good-looking.

Trying to match?

I'm not trying to sh*t.

[student 2 chuckles] All right.

[door hinge creaks]

[lock clicks]

[toilets flushing]

Oh, this some k*ll.

I know. I'm El Chapo, n*gga.

- What class you got right now?

- YBS.

Vince Staples in there

giving a speech or something.

Vince Staples? Who's that?

I don't know.

I gotta get back

before Miss Hathaway start tripping.

[Vince] I had my fair share of mistakes,

ups and downs,

but all in all,

- it was worth it.

- [student coughs]

[Miss Hathaway clapping]

Wow, that was so captivating.

We needed your story, your voice.

[whispers] Great job.

- Next week

- [bell rings]

we will be having

a discussion with tennis icon,

our very own Billie Jean King.

Come on.

[indistinct chatter]

What's up?

[student] My dad knows you.

Yeah? Who's your dad?

His name's Vincent too.

[door shuts]

[sighs]

He said when he was little,

you guys were in the same class.

- They gave you both nicknames.

- What was his?

White Boy.

[chuckles] Your dad's white?

No.

I don't remember him.

Tell him his friend

You're not friends.

[pensive music playing]

[door opens]

[The Homie] Wait, wait. He had a afro?

[Vince] Yeah,

like a young Michael Jackson.

Same voice too.

So let me get this straight.

You just ran into a little n*gga

with a Huey Freeman afro,

who say his dad,

who's a n*gga named White Boy,

got some type of childhood animosity?

sh*t, take this from a n*gga in jail, bro.

You in danger.

I don't know. Maybe he walked to school

with us or something.

n*gga, I ain't walked to school

with you a day in our life.

- Hey, gotta go.

- [line ends]

[pensive music continues]

[car engine turns over]

[sirens wailing in the distance]

[horn honks]

[student] Hey, Dad.

Your friend's here.

[upbeat music playing]

[music turns dramatic]

- [g*nsh*t]

- [Vincent] f*ck! [panting]

f*ck! Get in the car.

Put your seatbelt on.

Your seatbelt. Seatbelt. Seatbelt.

[dramatic music continues]

[Vince continues panting]

sh*t!

[tires screech]

f*ck!

[tires screech]

- [continues panting]

- [sirens wailing]

[shoes squeak]

[continues panting]

- [dramatic music continues]

- [TV chattering]

- [music halts abruptly]

- Hello.

[man on TV] as his funeral dirge.

But the Lord had

something better for Elijah.

[Vince] Is, uh, the open house today?

swooped down

and carried him into glory without his

Top drawer on the right.

God has something better

for you as well.

Salvation, if he can get you to see it.

Maybe you're a drunkard, an adulterer,

a prost*tute, a liar

[man] Problem?

It's only six shots.

Our lord Jesus Christ fed 5,000

with five loaves and two fish.

Jesus said, "Come to me."

Not to the church, to me.

Not to a creed, to me.

Not to a preacher, to me.

Not to evangelists

Thank you.

Not to a priest, to me. Not to a pope.

"Come to me, and I will give you rest."

Faith in Jesus Christ

[White Boy] Damn!

Dad? What's wrong?

- Remember your cousin Quinn?

- Yeah.

Remember that one time we all went

and played laser tag for his birthday?

We had fun, didn't we?

Yeah, so right now,

Dad is playing laser tag.

Grown-up laser tag.

Can I play?

When you get older.

Here. Um, why don't you play a game

and put those headphones on?

[engine accelerates]

[video game music playing]

[Vince panting]

- [engine accelerates]

- [tires screech]

[dramatic music playing]

[g*nsh*t]

[tires screech]

[White Boy] f*ck!

- [car horn blaring]

- [son] Dad!

Dad!

- [music halts]

- Dad!

Yes, Junior?

I'm hungry. Could we go to Happy Boy?

[distant sirens wailing]

[oldie music playing faintly]

[doorbell chimes]

[door shuts]

[oldie music continues]

[DJ 1] And yet another great oldie.

Now, before we get to the traffic report,

we wanna send a special prayer out

to all those in the Beach.

There's been a series

of shootings reported since this morning.

[DJ 2] Oh no. You really hate to see it.

When will the violence stop?

[DJ 1] I don't know. But while we wait,

here's another little ditty.

This is "Shotgun"

by Junior Walker & the All Stars.

["Shotgun" playing]

I said shotgun ♪

sh**t 'em for he run now ♪

Do the jerk, baby ♪

My bad.

Do the jerk now, hey! ♪

Put on your red dress ♪

[employee] Welcome to Happy Boy Grill,

where every burger come with cheese.

What you want?

How you doing? Uh, can I get

a Junior Bacon Burger with fries?

[Junior] Dad? I want a milkshake.

Son, didn't you have

a dessert at school today already?

Look, I told you

we're not doing no extra sweets.

And a small chocolate shake, please.

Shake machine broke.

Thank you.

- [brakes squeak]

- [window opens]

Keep it.

[dramatic music playing]

- [engine accelerates]

- [tires screech]

[Vince panting]

- Ah, sh*t!

- [music crescendos]

[Latin music playing faintly]

[shoes squeaking]

[continues panting]

[dramatic swell]

[tires screech]

Hey, Dad's gotta take care of something

real fast. All right?

I need you to wait here for a few minutes.

Then guess what?

- We're gonna go get some ice cream.

- Ice cream?

- Yeah, some ice cream.

- [g*n c*ck]

Hey, put your headphones on.

[White Boy clears throat]

["Ofrenda" by Lila Downs playing]

Remember me?

Yeah.

It's different when it's real, ain't it?

I know you in here, n*gga!

Come on, Vince.

Come on, Vince.

I just wanna say hello.

What happened to all that gangsta sh*t

in the videos? You're not like that!

I'm like that.

Yeah, I'm like that.

["Ofrenda" continues]

Vinnie

[loud bang]

- [g*nsh*t]

- [shell casing clanks]

[g*nsh*t]

Why you running?

[horn honks]

[video game music playing]

["Ofrenda" continues]

[item falls, clatters]

[White Boy] Come on, Vince.

Vince

["Ofrenda" intensifies]

[g*n c*ck]

[g*nsh*t echoes]

[video game music continues]

Fine day ♪

- [sirens wailing in the distance]

- [dogs barking]

[TV news playing faintly]

[reporter] If you're looking

for something fun to do this weekend,

we have the arts fair

[Vince] I'm home.

Don't know if you remember, but last year,

we had our whole crew down there.

We were able

to participate in many of the workshops,

and, uh, it's really fun

for the whole family.

They'll have food carts,

as well as some of your favorites

[sighs]

I heard there's gonna be

some surprise guests this year.

So we're looking forward to that.

[man] And of course, this live shot now,

from the Queen Mary,

where the wind is

blowing in off the coast.

The marine layer has burned off,

and things are going to be beautiful

for the rest of the day

[Deja] Hey, babe.

going into tomorrow.

Highs in the mid-seventies,

lows down in the upper-sixties,

and it's gonna not change much

You hungry?

Low-key.

How was your day?

- It was cool.

- [reporter 2] We have some breaking news

Anything interesting happen?

a fatal sh**ting in Long Beach.

Joining our reporter live

Not really.

[dramatic music playing]

[reporter] A series of shootings

reported in the Beach today

with one known fatality.

There are no suspects at this time.

[dramatic music continues, fades]

[mellow music playing]

[indistinct chatter on TV]

- [channel switches]

- [man 1 speaking Spanish]

- [channel switches]

- [man 2 speaking English]

- [channel switches]

- [man 3 yelling]

- [channel switches]

- [enchanting music playing]

[TV announcer] Don't move!

[chuckles] Reach for the skies!

Grab a box of Vince Staples' new

signature breakfast cereal, Kapow! Pops!

A part of a balanced breakfast.

Available at all

Feast for Least locations.

My name is Vince Staples,

and I approve this message. Kapow!

[mellow music playing]

[vocalizing]

[music fades]