01x12 - Christmas with Randy

[bunniefuu]

people

across the world consume liquor

a small percentage of those

fall into that category of excess

but whether you drink

a little or you drink a lot every

drop of liquor tells a different story

flan

welcome to my liquor store reset

this

is Nicole

perfect you

didn't have to get me a Christmas present this

is your Christmas present that you're going to love

it yeah you're

going to love every single bit of navicent

just

relax

candies

I've never drink all day

why is God

damn drink all day cuz I wanted to be

sober so I can tell you

how much I really love you

can you hear what I said

would you say I love you Andy

that's it just thanks

mr. Lahey drinks

and maybe have some banana bread

and what do you think I

even got a nice warm fireplace this

is wicked

it's kind of anticlimactic to be perfectly

honest yeah

but what I don't know what I was

expecting but you

know I haven't had too many good Christmases

but you know what they say Randy

that if you give stuff to people makes

you feel better he doesn't know you look

nice today what would that be

I don't share piece of liquor bottle

or something because I think

it looks like a bit of that label

frigate

Randy will you see this all

your hopes for Christmas or going to be answered

well I

just want to tell you one thing

it's been really hard

going without liquor today

I don't have any liquor Randy up

I decided that I was going to like

every time I do liquor stores

I get really pissed and

embarrassing really but

look at this what is

Mandy

what is this

it's your very own liquor tree mr.

Lahey you

can have some for breakfast and for

lunch some for supper

Dear Annie

cuz you've been such a great friend once

you have the first step

Sporting Goods

I'd like to take better without the candy

this Christmas is

going to be great

don't be great Randy

did I ever tell you that I am

I used to play Santa Claus way

back when before I join the 4th I

did a

lot of interesting things I

went to Santa school you know they only talk

really the only thing I've learned it's Anna School

is that thanks

Randy you have

to have your hands visible at all times

like it's supposed to wear white gloves and keep

your hands visible that's fresh you

don't want to smell it Randy it's fresh

Randy

I was going to stay sober

so I just have to tell you

things going off the rails that cuz I'm expecting

a lot of sh*t to come down here Christmas Eve

as you know every year we have f*cked over

I wanted to be compus

Mentis it's called

this mentis mean

Compass mentis means compose

mentally complex blades

French or German or no

thanks Latin compos mentis vegetables

and peels what

shouldn't you put in a compost

compost

and don't put it in your steak bones

and stuff you

supposed to put

vaginal muscle a veggie

peelings like corn

husks and stuff

like that or

else it won't work properly but

that makes that makes really good compost

regrarians could you do I

saved it I do that you

know you could make

a little be

cool radiators

actually you could probably take a couple hours and just hook

it in your pocket I've been

good idea but some weird one

you never said that before I thought you had that one

before you go very far just a

little bit of bottle you know what this

special thing the most

remember I'm always telling you about about

Cosmic irony Randy coincidences

happen all the time if you if your notice

them like if that

you can make with instances happen

Randy but you and

I when we met

yeah it was a coincidence

no I was when I was working and I know

I wasn't even supposed to be on that night Randy

yeah but you saw me like the

two nights before the first night you

met me we

didn't meet you I waved

you and you just drove by

remember that

you know when they say the liquor doesn't

the thinking I think they should say sometimes

and liquor makes you know not to think

this is incredible this

is unbelievable

couple days

drink it all it's a Christmas

tree it's Christmas Eve Randy but

I have to appreciate your present. You

know what I could actually do this

is an incredible thing I

brought some really wonderful special

Christmas cake we're

going to have or going to have his special

electric egg sandwich Randy

hey I'm first you tell me

if it tastes good person is delayed

I

need a little bit more salt

salt-of-the-earth I was giving this

is the Salt of Life any liquor

like here

my thang

such a pretty good maybe

we'll

catch up and mustard and cheese burgers

ketchup mustard and

I

like green is okay catch

up and relishes f*ck tr*nny

grilled onions

nothing better than an onion ring or Randy's

c*ck tomorrow

morning for breakfast if you want to

about to cry about coincidences

guess what the coincidences

is here today Randy I'll give you A5 yesterday

it's Christmas presents

there's liquor

and cake

was that

a coincidence this

is going to be one of our special Christmas is

Randy you know why why

because it's supposed to

be funny pictures

it's windy it's

alright but thanks turn

to that did it did it

keep

up with the same idea cheeseburgers

at least February

are you home or out valuable

to me than anything in

my old job is fleece person

and the only thing

I think I miss you more than you Randy

it's respect I used to get respect I

respect you as I know that I used

to be

hey sweetie Officer Jim Lahey and I

have certain amount of power certain

amount of respect and responsibility.

Yeah but everybody respects you as who

you are now mr. lady

you're like the smartest guy in the

in the trailer play just saying many

years of wisdom I

learned from you every single day

where do you live

how do I learn

things like like why you

know it doesn't take long to fill

the recycle bags with liquor bottles

say no

every time I've learned that I need

to buy more because

you drink a lot of liquor

and next thing you know and that

is passive

aggressive that's when

you f*cking make it a compliment to somebody

you shouldn't be

I learned how to clean skid marks

in tighty whities that's

what I'm talking about that's talking about

the

cleaning of the underwear cuz

your tighty whities or

white you

don't want to be walk around with poo poo on you

I think it's very important to have a clean

smelling bum bum

you know you may not think so

I mean it's true pissed it with do

dry but if they smell

like piss

you know maybe maybe carry

a balance sheet or something I was fabric

softener Junior shut

the fuk but

I love I

love this really

what you forgot to tell you I love

this tree I know you are you're talking

about me and screaming

and and why is excrement

you were this

was supposed to be a festive

occasion where we just talked

about positive things I was telling you

stuff did

you know people

are people

that are generous rain

generous of spirit and

they give that's what I

was talking about you is that you are

there's not one person

in the world Randy that

doesn't like you cool.

You guys been friends since you were this big

paprika peanut butter my

dinky girl don't do the peanut butter

did that to get back at me the Puma

shoes the peanut

butter in the dinky toys

not when the sun takes it in the guitar

so he's the only one I think everyone

else likes me though remember you clean

up my desk that time

to call your cards

hockey cards and baseball cards

a Burnham

it was a f*cking Mickey Mantle card in

that Randy $500,000

worth of how

come you do this how come you go from

being nice to all of a sudden being

a cranky old prick

I bet you are

I have an idea

we could change the NBA finals

okay BMV

Holmes the zeitgeist

you know what those words mean the

Sterling the atmosphere

you know what that means between

planet earth in outer space atmosphere

fine

I got a little Christmas

music and that'll just change your app

for Android

too late but it's okay why

were you talking about atmosphere atmosphere

cuz atmosphere

is that's

nice nicer make you

want to just sit back

lateral

doing a dance

bipolar

app that's

better you

know the center thing is

fermo Sarah happy

juices you

put on wish

you a Happy New Year

that's

a good chicken supposed to lay variety

van variety is

a spice of life that's

why I'm so happy with your present

or maybe he's

just f*cking

believable don't

get to 202 Chisholm

Avenue shipping pool of each one

do you

want a chocolate

X chocolate

The Secret of drinking alcohol

or nurse gets

to Dubuque water at the same time cuz

if you drink water

what you doing ugly woman

Oceanaire

meanest Aries

no those are spelled

liquor liquor

liquor

lab melt-in-your-mouth swing

Jake's liquor liquor lips chicken specials

I'm glad you like it dimmer

switch with Timothy

Eaton was made in a

night he was knighted sir Timothy Eaton

stupid f*ck music

that's not sucking Christmas no Christmas

he's a good life

Planet take you 2 days

many different liquor stores

in order to get all the liquor

he gave like $100,000

and a million dollars

during the first world w*r he

even Commission of Destroyer Rani

Old Navy ship

it was a benefactor and people

like Zac Mockingbird those

kind of Rich guys now they're coming up

there walking up to the plate renew

their being benevolence Christmas they're

giving most people could

snatch that's

what I want to do if I had a lot of

money Randy I would

make the world a better place that's

my I

know you wouldn't

I have lots of money that have different types

of burgers

in the freezer lady so he could

have ones like the thick ones

and then the thin ones or anything

sometimes the

different ones come on sale even even if I

had a lot of money I still try to get things on

sale have you

never know that's the value

of money and

thing is to get really if

you have all the burgers you always need buns

cuz if you keep the buns in the freezer for

too long if it ends up that they get freezer

bit and then I'm

going to throw them and Brad

doesn't taste the same

so you can even freeze cheese

if the cheese cheese

in the freezer you

know people stomachs communicate with

other people stomach train make

it Christmas bird cheeseburger this year it's

got sausage and gelatin 1992

somewhere thereabouts some

French doctors postulated that

there was bacteria in your stomach cause

cranberry sauce does

he said the acid in your stomach was so hostile

and then

get your turkey since then they've

discovered over 35 different bacterium's

that lives in your stomach

onion rings are good idea thanks so

many people so

many people have personalities

are predicated on the different kinds

of digestive tracts that they have

what tracks digestive

tract human go back to Loris

as what I had it's a little

f*cking bacteria that cause of duodenal ulcers

and I just took penicillin for two

weeks and no

more Tagamet no more no

more f*cking I couldn't even drink

for about a year and yours

Fearless 1992

I was one of the first people to take that he would

go back corianders

time

change