01x02 - t*rture

[bunniefuu]

This programme contains some
scenes of a sexual nature

and some strong language from
the start, some violent scenes

and scenes which some
viewers may find upsetting.

We're finally here. Oliver.
This was clearly meant to look

exactly like the Donkey
Pitch. I'm calling the police.

I found spots. Are you
sure it's not blood?

Our phone line's been cut.

DOORBELL RINGS

Hello.

I'm Detective Inspector Honey.

This is Detective
Sergeant Molina.

There's been a
m*rder in the area.

Mr and Mrs Anchor-Ferrers, go
and gather your things, please.

We should get you away from here

until we have a better
understanding of the situation.

Your neighbour, did
he take your brother?

Yes, ma'am. And
no-one ever found him?

Quite a little game the
two of you like to play.

They weren't human
bones. They're fake.

What do you want, Jack?

While in Long Lartin,
Penderecki was beaten.

It was you, wasn't it? I
didn't beat Penderecki.

But want YOUR help
with something.

I found her in the woods,
near the Donkey Pitch.

Isn't the anniversary of
those murders coming up?

Why do you care
about a dog? I don't.

I care about this.

It was in her collar.

Where's my daughter?
Where is she?

Where's my husband?

THEY LAUGH

LAUGHTER TURNS MANIACAL

LAUGHTER

You're going to drop me!

Me man! Me carry!

THEY LAUGH

I'm too heavy!

You're going to hurt yourself!

Then you'll have
to carry ME out.

I'll leave you to the animals.

Hurry up!

THEY LAUGH

What is this place?

It's called the Donkey Pitch.

Why do they call it
the Donkey Pitch, Hugo?

Could you explain it to me?

Well, Sophie, it's because,

back in the something-hundreds,

a man used to keep
his donkeys here.

Oh, thank you! I never
would've guessed!

THEY LAUGH

Oh, c'mon, put me down!

Ow!

There's walls all around.

No-one's going to see us.

What's in there?

Oh!

No, wait, wait! Close your eyes.

You came here already?

Set this up?

It gets cold at night.

THEY LAUGH

HUGO GASPS

SOPHIE SCREAMS

Gah! Run, Sophie!

Run!

SOPHIE PANTS

Help!

No. Sophie!

No!

Ah!

SOPHIE CRIES OUT

BREATHING CALMS

BIRDSONG

HEAVY BREATHING

SOPHIE SCREAMS

LOUD THUD

Now, Mrs Anchor-Ferrers,

please sit on the
floor, by the table.

Ooh!

Don't bother trying
to move the table.

We've nailed it to the floor.

CHUCKLES

CLATTERING

TILLY GRUNTS

OK...

Oh. Oh, Ollie.

Ollie?

What's happening?

WHISTLING: Four
Seasons by Vivaldi

Boo!

Ollie, for heaven's
sake, what's happening?

W-What are they doing?

I don't know. They
can't be police.

No. Cos the police would
never do something like this.

No, they're no police.

Well, then, who are they?

I don't know.

Did you see Lucia? No.

But she's OK, isn't she?

S-S-She's... I just
said, I don't know.

LOUD SCRAPING

Tilly,

just do what the
men tell you to do.

Are you all right?
Are you feeling...?

Hey, I'm fine.

Just do as they say and then this
will all be... all over quickly.

WHISPERS: Will it?

No! No! No...

No!

LUCIA PANTS

Don't...

You sick f*cking...! Don't
even think about hurting her!

Who are you?

What the hell do you
think you're doing?

No. No, no, no, no, no.

That's not the question.

The question is, what the
hell do YOU think we're doing?

You're not the police.

You lied to us.

Y-You won't get away with this.

Do you know who my husband is?

Hmm?

WHISPERS: God, I just love
it when people say that.

Mm!

THEY LAUGH

No! No!

No! Lucia, don't fight.

Don't hurt her, you f*ck!

No!

SOBS: No...

BARKING

Well, there's no
chip. Course not.

Which is strange, because her
coat and teeth are in great shape.

This isn't a stray. Someone
loves this dog very much.

But no-one's
reported her missing?

Not that's in our system, no.

- As for her foot...
- DOG WHINES

..she may have broken a toe.

She'll be sore for a
while but it will heal.

Any idea how she got it?

It's on the underside.

Most likely, she fell.

If you want to find her home,

you could always
have a drive around,

see if anyone recognises her.

Take a picture on your
phone, ask people.

It'll be easier to
just take her with me.

Oh, no, sorry, we need to keep
her until we can get her X-rayed.

She's swallowed something.

It doesn't appear to causing
an obstruction, though.

Wait, wait, so there's something
stuck inside her stomach?

Mm. In her large intestine.

I've got papers for you to sign.

All right.

Smile.

Put your head forward.

No! What are you
going to d-do?

LUCIA PANTS

Your turn.

Right.

That'll be us, then.

Thank you for your time.

I mean...

..you were rewarding.

We enjoyed ourselves, didn't we,

DS Molina?

We certainly enjoyed
ourselves, DI Honey.

DOOR BANGS

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God!

How are you both?
Are you all right?

I'm fine, Dad.

They can't just leave
us here. We need...

T-They've left the
front door unlocked.

He could just come in
and do anything. He...

Minnet Kable!

He's... He's out there!

Darling, I don't think Minnet
Kable is anywhere out there.

At all. I think they've
done this just to scare us.

W-What about those
things, in the tree?

I think they were
probably from a deer.

But... why?

Some people are
just sick by nature.

But they're as bad as he
is. They're copying him.

It's OK, Mum.

We're lucky all
they did was rob us.

My wedding ring.

They've taken the
ring you gave me.

We can replace that.

If they just wanted to rob
us, why go to such trouble?

They're worse than Kable.

They're worse!

But they're gone now.

They're gone.

It's over.

It's over?

Is it over?

Oh!

What?

Well, we're all tied up.

We've got no phone.

No signal.

No way of getting help.

Beca will come by. Beca...

She usually drops in to say
hi, even if she's not cleaning.

But when?

You need your medication.

KEYS JINGLE

Hello. I'm Detective Caffery.

Erm, this is going to
sound a bit odd, but...

..I'm actually in the area trying
to find the home of a lost dog.

I don't want a dog. No, that's
not what I'm trying to say.

Is this what the police are
spending my tax money on?

Ugh!

Does this happen to be your dog?

Would you like some
tea? No. Thank you.

I'm all right. It's
the least I can do.

Really, if you could just
have a look at her picture.

My granddaughter had a dog.

Kelly was its name.
A small thing,

a mix of this and that.

They were inseparable,
those two.

Kelly used to sleep in
my granddaughter's bed.

- LAUGHS - We used
to tell her...

Could you just look at
the picture, please? Uh...

Yes, I-I've been
told I do that -

go on a bit.

Yes.

I-I'll need my glasses.

But, please, do come in.

JACK SIGHS

JACK MUTTERS

FOOTSTEPS AND MUTTERING UPSTAIRS

ON RADIO: Forensics is
five minutes out, Sergeant.

SIO's en route.

Are you the SIO?

No?

Then what the f*ck are you
doing on my crime scene?

Oh! Ah! Here they are!

CHUCKLES

Spend whole days looking
for these sometimes. Mm.

Oh!

No, I'm sorry. I-I
don't recognise her.

But it's a wonderful thing you're
doing for that family, young man.

Look, I... I didn't mean
to be so rude earlier.

I appreciate your help, sir.

Minnet Kable didn't just take
my granddaughter that day.

He took my daughter, too.

Sophie's mum, she moved away.

We barely speak.

She says everything reminds her.

People kept telling me that
things would get better with time

but it's not really true.

You don't stop
hurting. It just...

Stops being a surprise
every morning.

Yes.

You'll have to forgive me
if I've forgotten your face.

Were you involved with her case?

I haven't been a
detective that long.

Thank you... for
doing the job you do.

It means the world to me that
the right man is behind bars

and that he'll never
hurt anyone ever again.

Because he IS the one, right?

g*dd*mn it!

You have to stop, Tilly.

But you need your medication.

Beca will come.

She cleans on Saturdays.

Today's Saturday. Yes, but
we've only just got here!

The house isn't dirty so she
won't come until next Saturday!

It'll be all right.

I'm OK.

Honestly.

He's not.

Look at him.

Honestly, I'm fine.

Let's not panic.

Panic is the worst thing that
we can do right now. Wait!

GRAVEL CRUNCHES

WHISPERS: Listen!

What?

A car!

Parked out back!

It must be Beca! She
always parks out the back!

CAR DOOR CLOSES

You see? We're all right!

We're going to be all right!

Oh, God! Thank you!

Thank you!

Beca!

Beca! We're in here!

Beca! Beca!

Beca!

Hello.

I just want to start by saying
the produce here is amazing.

Top marks.

It's usually so hard to
eat well on the road,

isn't it, DS Molina?

But with farm shops like
that making salads to order -

oh, there's no excuse!

None at all.

Oh, no. Did you all want lunch?

We'd figured you'd eaten.

W-We didn't even ask!

Come on.

You didn't really think
that was it, did you?

You know what, I think they did.

They definitely did. Urgh!

That is an irritation to me.

That these people could
mistake us for the sort of scum

that would do a house raid.

But we're not here for a house
raid! Of course we're not.

That's... That's the problem -
people assume things too easily.

What's all this about?

Are you friends with Kable?

Are you working for him?

Ooh, someone's
playing detective.

Got his thinking cap on.

MOLINA WHISTLES

I like it. I do.

But as far as I'm aware,
Kable's still in prison.

Best place for him, considering
what he did to those kids.

Don't you think, DS Molina?

Best place.

Then why are you doing all
this? What's your agenda?

What's YOUR agenda?

If... If we don't
know what you want,

how can we help you?

Fair enough.

I'll tell you what we want.

We want you to be scared.

But when I say scared,
I mean really scared.

Let's say your current rating
on the scared scale is, erm,

I don't know, four?

What me and DS Molina
are aiming for is...

..is ten.

But what is the point
of simply scaring us?!

You're very right, Mrs A.

Simply scaring you would
be f*cking pointless.

Of course it's more than that.

Of course we want something.

Tell us. No.

No, no, no.

The first stage is to scare you.

And when you're so scared
you'll do anything,

anything at all...

..then we'll tell
you what we want.

MOLINA WHISTLES

So many pretty things.

Mix it.

OK.

Ahem.

Mm!

SMACKS LIPS

Ruff! Ruff!

MOLINA LAUGHS

Pick her up.

Pick her up.

Don't touch her! Don't!

Don't hurt the dog.

There's no need to hurt the dog!

Shut up.

DOG WHINES

At least learn that
- when to shut up.

Feed it.

Don't! Please, don't!

LUCIA SOBS

Oh, you stupid, stupid animal.

That, ladies and gentleman,

is what we think of
your pretty things.

Right!

Let's get a move on, shall we?

We're already behind schedule.

MANIACAL LAUGHTER

LAUGHTER CONTINUES

Because he IS the one, right?

CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS

I've seen a lot of a things...

Jesus.

Forensics are going
to need a dozen bags.

Not to mention a soup spoon.

Lincoln.

What?

They're kids. Yes, I'm aware.

SHUTTER CLICKS CONTINUE

What can you tell us?

The, erm, leg was
the first injury.

Maybe 14, 15 hours ago.

The cuts to the
abdomen are fresher.

Maybe two hours.

This went on for half a day?

Christ.

If nothing comes back on
those f*gs, I'm claiming them.

What?

WINGS FLUTTER

SOPHIE WHIMPERS

What do you need? Which ones?

The bottom-right section.

Open your mouth.

Get up.

DOG YELPS

DOG WHINES

It's going to puke.

I don't do dog puke.

Deal with it.

Give me my dog.

I want my dog! I want...!

No! You do... You
do not touch her!

"I want, I want."

Didn't Mummy tell
you not to whine?

Or has Mummy been slack
in her parenting skills?

Please.

Just let me have my dog.

I give the orders, not you.

Take Mummy upstairs.

Then put the dog anywhere.

But not with her.

HEAVY BREATHING

TILLY SIGHS

DOOR UNLATCHES

Dinner.

Suit yourself.

Were you in prison
with Minnet Kable?

Or have you just read about him?

Get up.

Why?

I'm taking you to the toilet.

You don't want to
wet yourself, do you?

DOG GROWLS

Two minutes.

I'm timing you.

MUFFLED: There isn't anything.

Don't waste your time.

CLEARS THROAT

TOILET FLUSHES

KNOCKING

Hey!

Try that again and I'll
be in there with you.

ONE minute.

Coming.

KNOCKING

Be right with you.

The initial injury
comes from the right,

and is to the male victim.

A stab wound on his thigh.

HUGO GASPS

The male victim is then
pinned to the ground,

unable to move without
excruciating pain.

Ah!

The female victim escapes.

As she is in socks,

the cuts on her feet, which have
congealed at different rates,

indicate that she ran for hours.

It's dark.

She becomes disoriented.

The k*ller allows her
to exhaust herself.

The k*ller finds the female victim
on the far corner of the pitch.

And he drags her to the tree...

SOPHIE SCREAMS

..where both teenagers
are later found.

Her head strikes an object,

most likely a rock...

LOUD THUD

..knocking her unconscious.

He leaves her by the tree,

retrieves the male victim,

bringing him to
the tree as well.

The male victim has lost

considerable blood by now.

He's weak.

The k*ller
disembowels them both.

This time, knife
coming from the left.

He starts with the female.

She doesn't fight back.

She's still unconscious.

This explains the clean
cut on her abdomen.

Good girl, good girl.

Good girl. We're
just going to tuck...

Good girl. You're
such a good girl.

DOG SNARLS

No, no, no, no.

Oh, sh*t.

This place stinks.

There's dog food everywhere.

I didn't know you were going
to do that. No, no, no.

It stunk before. It's dirty.
This is a dirty house.

What was that on
the floor out there?

Was that blood?

Well, I had to bring
everything through the house.

It must have
sloshed about a bit.

Y-You brought intestines
through the house?

Well, I had to get
it... What? No.

Why would you do that? I
had to get it to the garden.

You could've gone round
the house. Outside.

It was quicker to go through.

I had a lot to do, all right?

What if I hadn't
finished on time?

What would we have done then?

You had plenty of time to
finish your assignments.

A professional would've
finished in plenty of time.

I had to cut the phone line,

take care of the housekeeper,

do all that... stuff
with the intestines.

What did you tell her?

What did you tell her?

I told her that I was
Oliver's research assistant.

That we were going to
be working, undisturbed.

I paid her for the week.

She won't stop by.

Trust me.

Erm, excuse me.

In your opinion,
is this now clean?

Ugh! No, I want to
hear the answer.

Do you believe
this is now clean?

I also had to sh**t the
deer, which is a big deal.

I-I'm not a hunter.

Then I had to take
everything out

and hang it all up
there in the tree.

Took me ages to find a ladder.

Their basement is a disgrace.

Why didn't you bring one? What if
they didn't have a ladder here?

What would've happened then?

I feel like you're
being really critical.

SMASHING, THUD DOG YELPS

DOG BARKS FURIOUSLY

It came from the mum's room.

She must've thrown
it out the window.

You think?

Find some dog food. Put it
outside. It'll come back.

We don't have any... dog food.

You used it all
on the jewellery.

But there was no
address on the collar.

I saw. What if it's
got a microchip?

Oh. Yeah.

"Oh."

Wait, what's that?

HONEY SCOFFS

Aw, bless her.

Hey! Mrs A!

You're not as
stupid as you look!

One good thing has
come out of this.

At least we don't have to draw
straws for who goes first.

No?

No, dickhead.

Mrs Anchor-Ferrers just
volunteered herself.

SCREAMING

FROM ELSEWHERE: Lucia! Lucia!

Lucia! Lucia, are
you all right?

Lucia, what's all
this noise about?

What have you done with my dog?!

Oh, that.

I'm so sorry the
way that worked out.

I heard her outside
- she was in pain!

The dog fell out the window.

Ran off.

Looked injured.

She doesn't know
her way around here.

She's scared and
she'll get lost.

She's only ever been
in our London flat.

She's not microchipped!

Is she not? No.

Then no-one will ever
bring her back here.

Shame.

LINE RINGS

Caffery.

Mr Caffery, we've done
an X-ray on your dog.

What she's swallowed
appears to be jewellery.

Jewellery?

How'd that happen?

Dogs will eat a
variety of things.

But I admit, this
is a first for me.

Nah, but it's metal. It wouldn't
have tasted good. Why would she?

I don't know. But we
need to keep her here,

wait for her to
pass it naturally.

And how long's
that going to take?

You're asking me to predict
when a dog might sh*t?

I'm sorry.

I would very much like to
have a look at the jewellery.

It could be helpful
in finding her home.

I'll call you once it's out.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Sorry I couldn't meet you out.

Missus has a late shift tonight.

No worries. I'm back in
Wales for a bit, so...

Manners, girls! Manners!

Sorry, Dad!

When you left
Cardiff for London,

we all took bets on the reason
why, cos you wouldn't say.

My money was on a woman.

Was I right?

Not quite. Never going
to have kids, no?

I'm only 32, Robbie.

You'd better not hang about -

your back won't put up with it.

Mine's on fire round the clock.

Noted.

GIRLS GIGGLE

No, no! Wait, wait, wait!

Plus, it's fun.

Really.

Sure I can't get you one?

I don't really drink,
mate. Thanks. Ah.

Right. I forgot.

A sober copper.

You'd think I'd remember,
seeing as you're the only one.

I wanted to talk to
you about something.

An old case.

The Donkey Pitch murders.

Oh.

That was awful, yeah.

Look, Lincoln's theories on
how the crimes played out -

the kids, their injuries, what
she's saying Minnet Kable did -

do you believe it?

SCOFFS

What?

No, I know you
mean nothing by it,

but you have no idea how
often her work is questioned.

All detectives have
their work questioned.

Not the same. It's not the same.

You ever taken a look
around our CID floor?

It's almost all blokes.

Lincoln's the best
detective there,

and she's second-guessed
constantly.

I didn't use to
notice that stuff.

Then you have daughters and
you can't not notice it.

Do you know the Chief Inspector
didn't used to let her answer

press questions
on her own cases?

Didn't even speak
on camera. Why not?

He said the face of the force
should be someone more reassuring.

Now that's the kind of shite
she's been dealing with.

What about Matthews?

What, her partner?

Nah, they're tight.
Always have been.

And he was behind her
theory on the crime?

What she's saying Minnet Kable
did on the Donkey Pitch, yeah?

Yeah.

And I'm guessing you were, too.

Well, you know how these
things work, Jack -

there are always elements
that are... inconclusive.

EXHALES

DOG WHINES

It's all been sterilised.

"To Matilda, love Jimmy."

Found what you need?

Maybe.

Well, then, I'll
meet you outside.

For the bill.

See, "Jimmy" can be a nickname
for all sorts of things.

A joint.

Your d*ck.

But this is a wedding band so
I'm going to go ahead and assume

that Jimmy is short for James.

Safe bet, yeah?

The problem is, I
don't have a surname.

And if you look for all the
Jameses in the area, there's...

..a few.

And there's quite a
few Matildas as well,

but none of them have been married
to, or divorced from, a James.

You know what that
means, don't you?

That means that this couple probably
doesn't live in Monmouth full-time.

They're registered
to vote elsewhere.

So we...

..will go about this
a different way...

ENGINE STARTS

DOOR OPENS

DRAGGING

Uh!

Oh...

TILLY GROANS

BED SPRINGS SQUEAK

TILLY CLEARS THROAT

Is there something
you want to tell me?

Oh...

Something about
your little lapdog?

Let's not make a fuss of this,

but it does feel appropriate
for you to apologise.

I apologise.

You don't sound sincere, Mrs A.

RASPS: I'm sorry.

I am.

I forgive you.

You're obsessed with
him, aren't you?

You're copying him.

Copying who, darling?

- HONEY GASPS - Oh!

Minnet Kable?

Oh, gosh!

HONEY LAUGHS

That's a theory!

I love that you're
being constructive

with your time, by the way.

LAUGHTER CONTINUES

Are you going to
r*pe my daughter?

r*pe your daughter?

Mm-hm.

HONEY SCOFFS

God!

Well, I wasn't planning on it.

Mainly because I just don't
think we'll have the time.

Mrs Anchor-Ferrers...

..I'm going to tell you something
important. Are you listening? Mm-hm.

We are not here to
r*pe your daughter.

Or you.

Or your husband.

Doesn't interest us.
Doesn't interest us.

What does interest you?

WHISPERS: I want you
to come downstairs.

I'll show you.

You said you found this
dog on the Donkey Pitch.

And then you reminded
me that the anniversary

of those killings is coming up.

You think there's a connection

between this dog
and those murders?

You found something, didn't you?

Something with the dog.

Something IS wrong, isn't it?

I told you.

Why do you think
there's a connection?

I don't know that there is.

But you do, don't you?

You sense it.

That there's something evil.

And you can almost reach it.

I'll find the dog's owner.

But you'll get information
about my brother in return.

We have a deal.

And I brought the dog back.

Go on.

I don't want a dog!

Well, aren't you a
sweet little one?

It would only be for a few days,

but if it's too much bother...

Nonsense! No bother at all.

Well, we'd better find
you something to eat.

Oh, she's got a sore back foot.

But the vet says it should heal
on its own in a day or two.

Then we'll make a right pair.

Y-You go and do what
you need to do, son.

Whatever it is, I'm
sure it needs doing.

Yeah, it does.

Sergeant Caffery.

I'm not a sergeant any more.

Sacked?

Promoted.

No more uniform.

Pity.

Mm.

We said noon. You said noon.

What are you doing here, Jack?

Did you miss me?

Well, work wasn't quite the
same without you. Less fun?

Less... a lot of things.

Ooh, is this what this is?

Are you having a Me Too moment?

Is this where I sit and listen

and you get it all off
your chest? Not exactly.

You sure? Listen...

..I wasn't complaining then,

and I am not complaining now.

When it comes to me, you...

..can do whatever you want.

Can I get you anything?

Two gin and tonics.
ONE gin and tonic.

But it's after noon.

I'm fine. No probs.

So, I've been poking
around an old case.

The Donkey Pitch.

Yeah, that was an ugly one.

Coming up to five years.

Mm. You mentioned
in your case notes

that Minnet Kable
wasn't all that bright.

One fry short of a Happy Meal.

That's a legal term.

Mm. It's just... when you
look at that crime scene,

how there was so little
evidence left behind, it...

..it feels like a smart
criminal would be behind it.

Oh, God, Jack, I hadn't
even considered that.

Thank God you're here.

What else do you think?

He put on plastic coveralls
- any idiot can do that.

And then the rain washed away
whatever evidence was left behind.

So, really, how smart do
you think he needed to be

to k*ll those two kids?

Plus, the cuts on those
bodies were both left-handed

and right-handed in origin.

Minnet Kable is ambidextrous.

What if that's just a
coincidence, not an explanation?

Jack, he confessed!

I get it.

You were there. You saw
their innards strung around

like tinsel and
it f*cked you up.

I might joke, Jack, but
it f*cked me up, too.

But I give a sh*t about my cases

and I work my a*s
off to clear them.

I'm not questioning
your work ethic.

But your theory
on those murders,

it's full of holes.

DOOR OPENS

Time for some fun, old man.

See, one k*ller couldn't
possibly have kept track

of both of those kids,

not in an area that big.

It would've been too much of a risk
to leave either one of them behind.

Hugo was strong.

If the k*ller had left him
behind to track Sophie's moves,

he would've tried to escape.

And the cut on Sophie's head?

It was minor.

She was never
knocked unconscious.

She was awake, for
the whole thing.

See, it's not just that Minnet
Kable wasn't smart enough

to carry out the murders
in the first place.

It's that you tried to
cram a single-k*ller theory

into a crime scene that
just doesn't fit it.

It never was one stupid man.

It was two very smart ones.

And I knew it. Five years ago,

I knew that something was
off with that case. But...

..I was a bit... distracted.

And deep down inside,
you know I'm right.

You know that's how the Donkey
Pitch murders went down.

Wait, wait, wait!

THEY LAUGH

SOPHIE GASPS AND SOBS

So the K*llers
were never caught.

They're still out there.

I didn't throw the
Donkey Pitch case.

And yet, it was
botched so badly...

I didn't throw the
Donkey Pitch case.

Well...

..then that really only leaves
one alternative, doesn't it?

What if...

..you just aren't cut
out for this kind of job?

Maybe you were only promoted

cos someone had to
tick a few boxes.

You coming?

Oh, no!

Oh, Tilly.

Tilly, I'm so sorry.

LOCK CLICKS

I'm so sorry.

TILLY WHEEZES

Tilly...

Sh! WHISPERS:
She's in character.

MUSIC: Largo al factotum
by Gioachino Rossini

Ah!

HONEY MIMES: Largo
al factotum della citta

Largo!

La, la, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la La-a-a-a

Presto a bottega
che l'alba e gia

Presto!

La, la, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la La-a-a-a

Ah, che bel vivere,
che bel piacere

Che bel piacere

Per un barbiere

Di qualita! Di qualita!

Ah, bravo, Figaro!

Bravo, bravissimo! Bravo!

La, la, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la La-a-a-a

Fortunatissimo per verita!

Bravo!

La, la, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la La-a-a-a

Fortunatissimo per verita!

Fortunatissimo per verita!

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

Figaro!

Figaro!

Figaro, Figaro, Figaro

Figaro, Figaro,
Figaro, Figaro!

Ahime! Ahime! Che furia!

Ahime! Che folla!

Uno alla volta

Per carita!

Per carita!

Per carita...

TILLY WHEEZES Uno alla
volta, uno alla volta

Uno alla volta

Per carita!

Figaro! Son qua

Figaro! Son qua

Figaro qua, Figaro la
Figaro qua, Figaro la

Figaro su, Figaro giu
Figaro su, Figaro giu

Pronto prontissimo
son come il fumine

Sono il factotum della citta

Della citta, della citta,
della citta, della citta

Sono il factotum della citta

Sono il factotum della citta

Della citta, della citta

Della citta...!

HONEY ROARS