01x05 - Father Mil Gaye

[bunniefuu]

Once upon a time,

your mother wasn't this

plain-looking Satwant Kaur.

She was a very sexy

and seductive girl in Goa.

Marvellous.

Grandpa, please act your age.

You are only a couple of days
younger than God.

And, Mom, you.

Stop making it sound like
a midnight X-rated movie

and come to the point.

Tell us your story.
Come on.

As you wish, son.

Watch.

Help! Help!

Anybody there? Help! Help!

Old people, young people,
children, anybody!

Help me!

Help me!

♪ Who is my pop? ♪

♪ Who is my daddy? ♪

♪ Who is my pop? ♪

♪ Who is my daddy? ♪

♪ Who is my pop? ♪

♪ Who is my daddy? ♪

♪ Who is my pop? ♪

♪ Who is my daddy? ♪

I met Anthony Comesalves
on a beach in Goa.

He was drowning in the sea.

And I saved his life.

But as he came around,
he drowned again.

This time in my eyes.

We met every day
on the same beach.

I love you, man.

Really?

I swear.

Swear on my neighbour Mrs. Braganza.

We decided to get married
in a church.

I waited for him all day,

dressed in a wedding gown.

To k*ll time, I played tip-cat.

Munched on nuts.

Yawned.

But the fool never showed up.

He never showed up.

Hols.

There are people around.
Don't cuss.

Hols.

I mean holidays, Mr. Kartar.
Holidays.

As soon as my holidays ended,
I left Goa and went to Delhi.

When I reached Delhi,
I realised

Anthony had moved on

and put a bun in my oven.

I was pregnant, son.

Do you know what happened next?

No. What?

Watch.

I went to my family doctor,
Kartar Singh,

for an ab*rtion.

Doctor, I want to let go
of this child.

Ms. Satwant Kaur,
you don't need to worry.

Dr. Kartar is a specialist
in letting children go.

And it's not a tough job at all.

It's pretty easy.

Look... you must raise the child

slowly like this.

And let him go.

You let him go.

Remember to keep a 6-inch
thick mattress below.

To protect the child
from any injury.

The child is inside me.

I want to get rid of it.

I want to get an ab*rtion.

Ms. Satwant Kaur,

children are a manifestation of God.

And God is meant for devotion,

not ab*rtion.

But how can I raise this child
without his father?

Fine.

I am prescribing some...

medications for you.

You must take it
for the rest of your life.

"Will you marry me?"

Ms. Satwant Kaur,

I want to adopt this baby.

Please don't k*ll it.

Thank you.

That's the story, Sandy.

Sandy?

Oh, sorry.

I forgot to tell you.

Anthony said,
if we had a son together,

then we'd call him Sandy.

-Sandy.
-Sandy?

First Sahil,

then Sadiq, then Sukhi,

and now Sandy.

Sandy!

At this rate,

I will lose my mind.

Listen, Sandy.

Your fourth father

turned out to be a deserter.

Here's what you do.

Say "pee".

Pee.

Forget this wedding.

Wait a minute, "pee" and "wedding"...

Listen, everything need not rhyme.

This is not a joke.

Goodbye.

Let's go.

Popsi.
Wait a minute, Popsi.

You haven't met Sandy's
new father yet.

Sandy.

Popsi, maybe he had
a genuine reason. Right?

Maybe his father Anthony
is a great man.

Well, he is a human after all.

Maybe he erred,
but we should find out.

No. No.

Don't say no, Popsi.

Come on, Popsi, for my sake.

Please.

-Sah "aah".
-Aah.

To find your father,
off we go to Goa.

Okay.
Off we go?

He said yes!

Hello, friends.

A boy has set out
with his clueless girlfriend,

brainless friend,
hopeless mother,

and harmless father
for Goa

to find his fourth father, Anthony.

♪ We are the guys in disguise ♪

♪ We are the guys in disguise ♪

What is this, Balwan?

I can't see a thing.

Do you see how clever I am, Malik?

No one will know

we are going to Goa
to k*ll Sahil's father.

Idiot!

And Chaupala had to show up

to see what kind of father
Sandy had cooked up.

Brij Kishor set out for Goa as well.

After Balwan.

Because Balwan
was after Sandy's life.

Driver, stop wasting time.

Start driving.
We've to head to Goa.

DELHI-MUMBAI-GOA

In the name of God!

♪ We are off to Goa ♪

♪ And we will eat quinoa ♪

♪ Goa-Goa-Goa-Goa ♪

Let's check every nook
and corner of Goa to find Anthony.

Let's ring the bell
of every house and ask.

Shut up.
Ring every doorbell.

Wait.

"Anthony!"

Yes?

Yes?

Yes?

Yes?

Yes?

Wait a minute.

That rascal Anthony
always said one thing.

Swear on my neighbour Braganza.

So it's very simple.

Look for an Anthony
whose neighbour is Braganza.

Mom, we found Anthony.

Where?

No. Look here.

D'Cunha.

Kartar.

I am tired.

We can't seem to find
that idiot Anthony

or his neighbour Braganza.

Satwant, I guess we have to send
an application to God.

Let's pray.

-Lord--
-Hey, man.

Are you looking
for Anthony-Braganza together?

Anthony.
Braganza.

Get lost!

Bro, we found Braganza.

Thank you, Jesus.

Oh, yes check his neighbour.

Gomez.

I'll end up in a coffin trying
to find my fourth father.

Mother Mary, please help me.

Look, I had a word with God,

spoke to Allah and

and shared my feeling with the Guru.

Now I am here to chit-chat with You.

Please, Mother Mary.

Help me find my father.

Please tell me.

Say something.

Anything.

-Sandy.
-Hallelujah.

Mother Mary.
My mother.

Mom. What are you doing here?

-Your papa and I--
-Let me tell him.

-Let me tell him.
-What's wrong, Papa?

Congratulations, son.

-Congratulations.
-What happened?

Your mother and I worked very hard.

-Very good.
-And finally,

Mother Mary has blessed us.

Son, it's good news.

I am trying to find my father.

And you two are busy
trying to give me a sibling.

Hey...
The good news is

we found Braganza
and your father Anthony.

-You found father Anthony?
-Yes.

-You found my father Anthony!
-Yes.

Thank you, Mother Mary.

Father Anthony has been found!
Father Anthony has been found!

Where do you think you are going?

I will WhatsApp you the address.

♪ Trucks have horns ♪

♪ Movies have John ♪

♪ Even Go Goa has Gone ♪

♪ Kidney has stones ♪

♪ Trucks have horns
Movies have John ♪

♪ Even Go Goa has Gone
Kidney has stones ♪

♪ Dogs have bones
Sarees have chiffon ♪

♪ Karachi has a don ♪

♪ But who...who...who is my pop? ♪

♪ Who is my pop? ♪

♪ Who is my daddy? ♪

♪ Who is my pop? ♪

♪ Who is my daddy? ♪

Anthony?

Dear God, what are you up to?

Even I am a human being,
and not some animal.

One surprise after another.
So many surprises.

First my pop,

then father dearest,

then the Sardar,

my papa.

And finally,

I found my fourth father
after so many hardships,

but did we have to meet like this?
Dead.

"Father?"

Bro, he is my father.

And who are you?

Bro, he's my real father.

And you are my brother,

just from another mother.

My mother was your father's lover,

but she was undercover.

But now that we are all together,
look at him.

He is in a Christian bier.

Bravo.

Nice rhyming.

Within the metre.

Thank you.

Father. Father.

Yes, my son.

Thank God.

Sandy's father has
finally been found.

Marvellous.

Why will Father be found?

I was never lost.

Yes. He can be found in a church.

He's a church father.

That's not it.

I am a Father outside
the church too.

The market, temple, mall.

I know. I know.

This guy...
He is my real father.

My late father.

Exactly.
Sorry for being late.

I am a late Father.

You...

Excuse me, man.

-Is Anthony your father?
-Yes, he is my late father.

Then you have to give me
my money.

-Mine too.
-And me.

-And me.
-Me too.

And traditionally,

the son has to repay
his father's debts.

Your father borrowed money
from us all his life.

And his son Bobby
is broke like him.

So you must pay all his debts.

Okay, how much?

-My Rs.50,000
-Mine Rs.10,000

-My Rs.15,000
-Mine Rs.10,000

-My Rs.5,000
-Mine Rs.100,000...

Which I have to collect
from someone else.

Wait just a minute.

Look, I can pay your money.

But how do I know
you are telling the truth?

And there are no inconsistencies
in your numbers.

If only my father was alive

and confirmed that
he owed you money,

then I would have thrown
the money in your face.

I am alive, man.

-Hallelujah!
-What hallelujah?

This idiot almost gave me
a heart attack.

Shameless, worthless, illiterate.

Grandpa,
talk to my father with respect.

-Father...
-Yes?

-You are alive.
-Always.

Why were you lying in the coffin?

You see, son.

I didn't have money
to pay them back.

So I had to pretend I was dead.

I swear on my neighbour
Mrs. Braganza.

-I swear.
-I see.

Don't worry about it.

-4G, come here.
-We have Wi-Fi, not 4G.

-Be quiet.
-Here I am.

Come here.
This is my ATM card.

Get the money from the ATM,

and pay every penny back.
Go on.

Be it Papa's or Grandpa's,
I will pay every penny back.

You are such a sweet boy.

Now that's what you call a son.

Sukhi.
Sukhi.

I sent Kartar to get Pihu
and her father.

They should know
that your real father...

has been found.

Anthony.

Satwant dear.

Oh, Satty.

-Satty?
-Yes.

During daytime, he used to call me
Satwant Kaur.

And on romantic nights,

he would call me Satty.

Sat...

Rascal!

This bird brain deserted me
on our wedding day!

Curse you!

Forget all that, Mom.

Let go of the past.

Let's settle down,
so I can settle down.

Shut up!

You want to settle this idiot?

He is a traitor.

He is a pain in the--

I was waiting for him in the church,

but this rascal never showed up!

Wait.

Wait. Wait. Wait.

Bro, don't make it spicy.

Add potatoes, onions,

the sweet chutney
and a sprinkle of lemon juice,

and prepare an awesome snack.

-What is wrong with him?
-Nothing is wrong.

He must have switched to pause mode

while eating snacks outside.

Brij, why did you come to Goa?

Balwan is coming to k*ll Sahil.

The father has to show up

to break up the fight
between the two brothers.

Bro.

Malik-Balwan are coming this way
with their g*ns,

looking for Father.

Who is looking for me?

Here I am.

Allah, I've heard that you
summon good guys early.

Is he not a good guy, Lord?

Are you guys done?

Papa Anthony

now you must really
pretend to be dead.

-Play dead.
-But why will I pretend

to be dead again?

Otherwise, Malik-Balwan
will really k*ll you.

-Play dead.
-Come on, guys.

He has to pretend he's dead,

and we must pretend to cry.

Okay.
Cry!

Wow!

The snack was awesome!

Loved it, dude.

Malik and Balwan are coming.

Start crying.
Quickly.

It was a combination of discernment
and concern.

He discerned that Malik
and Balwan are coming.

And concern for this woman

who has lost her old lover.

She is unable to cry.

She can fall sick
if she doesn't cry.

Cry, my love.

Cry, my lovely sister.
Cry your heart out.

Cry.

Quiet!

Absolutely quiet.

Is this a drama?

Uncle, do you think we are stupid?

Mr. Brij Kishore Trivedi,

you have been exposed.

He is my father, Mr. Malik.

I know him very well.

He reacts 10 seconds
late to everything.

Am I reacting late?

Am I reacting late?

Am I reacting late?

No, no, no, don't cry.

Don't be so harsh with the dead.

Look, let's just pray for the dead
and leave.

Yes.

Mr. Malik.

-His eyes were closed.
-Exactly.

-How is it open now?
-How?

His eyes were always open.

Were your eyes closed, mister?

His final wish

was to see the world as he perishes.

So we had it opened.

Basically, he was a very
eye-opener type of guy.

Huh?

Wait a minute.

-He wasn't smiling before.
-Yes!

He would always keep humming.

Everyone arrives crying,

but the one who exits laughing
will be Anthony.

Poor guy is no more.
You should leave too.

We all have to die one day.

What are you doing?

-Rat.
-Where is the rat?

Rat! Rat! Rat!

He is alive.

Out of my way.
Out of my way.

Hey!

We won't spare this father.

But no one has caught me yet, son.

How will you let me go then?

-Out of my way, boys.
-Balwan.

Stop, son.
Or you will regret it.

I will count to three.

One...

He's stuck. Statue.

Father, statue.

Father, statue.

Father...

How will I wear bracelets?

That reminds me,

if Sandy's father Anthony
isn't found,

then Rani will get a chance.

And even if he's found,
Malik-Balwan will k*ll him.

How can you eat with so much stress?

Can we eat stress
instead of food?

Point.

-Get lost.
-Let me eat.

Go back down.
Do you want to die?

"Kriti Sanon's sister joins films?"

Anthony's son.

Caught you.

Leave me.

Anthony.

Anthony, come out.

If you want to see your son alive,
then come out.

-Oh, Jesus, he's my adopted son.
-Don't let him go.

Hold on.
I am coming out.

Don't sh**t him.

What the hell, man!

What have you got against me?

I don't even know you.

We have nothing against you.

It's against your son.

What have I done?

Not you, your other son.

We know him as Sahil,
and you know him as Sandy.

And his father will pay
for his deeds.

Yes.

Then go k*ll his father.

Why are you after my life?

I claimed to be his father
to escape my creditors.

I swear to God,

the truth is I am not his father.

I am not Sandy's father.

Not his father!

Not his father!

You are not his son.

Sultan is not your father!

Because I am not Sukhi's father.

I am not Sandy's father.

Not his father!