01x02 - Welcome to Mother India

[bunniefuu]

[opening theme tune plays]

[birds calling]

[upbeat music playing]

[indistinct]

[theme music continues]

[theme music fades out]

[driver] Sir.

[engine roaring]

[in Pidgin] What's wrong?

No my friend, this address.

[in Hindi] This is the

location you mentioned.

Hello?

Ah, Mr. Yemi.

Right on time, huh?

[sighs]

I'm not sure

I'm in the right I think I'm lost.

[in Hindi] Oh! Is it?

[in English] Do you see a building

right opposite the big green compound?

Green compound? Oh!

Oh, green com Yes, green compound.

Er, the building, is it like yellow?

[in Yoruba] Or is this brown?

[in English] Brown? Yellow? Brown?

Ha-ah, fantastic!

See, you're not lost, Mr. Yemi.

Wait, I'll just come out and greet you.

[birds chirping]

[toilet flushing]

[sighs] Mr. Yemi.

Finally.

[agent chuckles]

Welcome to Mother India.

Come, I'll take you.

Come in Mr. Yemi.

- This is your new home.

- [Yemi sighs]

Your palace.

Like it?

[dramatic music plays]

[chuckles] I knew you would like it.

See, I've got everything ready for you.

The living room, the bedroom, the kitchen.

All sorted.

And [exhales]

this is your lock and your key.

Guard the key and keep it safe,

because others keep losing theirs.

Which others?

Your neighbors?

The neighbors! [chuckles]

Never mind.

Let's do the paperwork first.

[wistful music plays]

[phone ringing]

[chuckles]

[in Yoruba] Manager of life!

Guy.

[in Pidgin] How are you?

Have you arrived?

How is it there? What's happening?

Have you gone to the set?

What does it look like?

Why don't you just set me exam questions?

Ah! Everything is okay.

I'll go to the set on Monday. [sighs]

Everything is okay. [hisses]

I've almost used up all the money I have.

What do you mean by that?

[in English] Bro,

they gave you like two weeks per diem

and then the money for accommodation

because you said you were

going to be staying with family. So

[in Pidgin] Forget about that. I had to

do some shopping. Shouldn't I look good?

I have to look good.

I bought some clothes,

a phone and some other things.

Guy! [scoffs, tuts]

Forget about that.

I used the remaining

money to rent an apartment.

You know I still have

to remain here after I finish the job.

- [birds calling]

- But [huffs]

this apartment is not worth

the amount I paid for it.

Guy see,

Yemi this your plan won't work.

Just calm down and get this job done.

And please, call your mum.

I know you don't

want her to know you are in India

- but at least answer her calls.

- Okay boss.

Bye-bye.

[hisses]

[exhales]

Let me rest a bit.

[wistful music continues]

[grunts]

[phone ringing]

Thank God! Thank God for a safe trip.

Listen, I hear they say

everywhere in India smells like curry.

Ah! Who told you that?

This place is beautiful.

The hotel I'm in, is like a palace.

Hotel?

But I thought you were

supposed to stay with your brother?

[chuckles] He put me in a hotel.

He doesn't want to catch my fibroid.

Ah! That's serious.

He takes things too seriously.

[in Yoruba] He's just too intense. Ah-ah.

Don't I always tell you?

You all tell me I'm always exaggerating.

Look, if not for this condition,

why else would I have called him?

Ah-ah no, my friend, wait,

what about the money he sends to you?

Why are you talking like this?

It's my brother I'm fighting,

I'm not fighting the money.

I'm not fighting the money at all.

- [Aunty Bunmi laughing]

- [wistful music plays]

[wistful music fades out]

[footsteps receding]

Good morning sir.

Good morning sir.

- [wistful music continues]

- [water tinkling]

[cutlery clinking]

[sighs]

Well, your day seems pretty much open.

You have an interview

with Independent at 10 a.m.

Then you have a phone meeting

with Honorable Hakeeb at noon.

[huffs] Honorable.

Sir?

Go on.

There's this renovation inspection,

but Mr. Kabir

hasn't called in yet to confirm.

Is that all?

Well there are two events.

I have already declined the first one.

Uh, your neighbors,

their daughter is getting

engaged and it's customary to

No.

Uh, shall I send an envelope

along with apologies?

You do know what frivolous means, right?

- Yes sir.

- Then I'm curious,

do you just put these things in

my itinerary for your personal amusement?

Or I was unclear when I said

I have no stomach for these things?

[Indian music playing at the neighbors]

Uh, the procession for the engagement,

must have started now.

So first you have

- the procession and then

- You will file a noise complaint,

and have coffee delivered to my study.

Okay?

Sir

- What?

- [tense music playing]

[tense music fades out]

[snoring]

[lively Indian music plays]

[laughing]

[snores]

- Hey!

- [in Hindi] The African bobo is awake.

- [laughing]

- [Yemi panting]

- Hold it.

- Please.

- I don't have any money.

- Relax.

- No.

- Take

- phone.

- We're not going to hurt you.

- It's okay.

- I'm Yemi.

This is my room.

It's alright man, we all speak English.

We have the same colonizer,

you should know that.

[Yemi sighs]

[lively Indian music plays]

What is this, your passport?

You should not leave your bags unattended.

And by the way, this is not your room,

this is our room.

We thought you were an intruder

until we saw your standard agreement.

You should call your agent.

- Call.

- [phone pad clicking]

[phone dialing]

[in Hindi] I think he has been fooled.

- [man laughing]

- [phone continues ringing]

It's ringing.

It's ringing but he's not picking up.

He fooled you.

- [dramatic music plays]

- [Yemi exhales]

See,

it could have been worse.

- [in Hindi] Have you eaten?

- [in English] What?

Food?

Have you eaten anything?

No, I'll eat.

You want to eat something?

I will eat food. I'll eat.

Let's come

Go out and eat food.

Come.

Let's go out and eat food.

- [in Pidgin] I've been scammed in India.

- [man1 in English] Come.

[upbeat music plays]

Uh, let's try Mumbai's patty bun.

- Patty bun?

- Yeah.

It's very famous in Mumbai.

[in Hindi] Give me two patty buns.

- Chili?

- With chili?

[in English] You want chili or no chili?

Yes, small chili.

[in Hindi] Put a small chili.

Your patty bun. Enjoy the roll.

[sighs]

[tuts] See, I did not come here to

to be living like a sardine.

- Ah.

- So, your vacation is over?

Which vacation?

I came here for Bollywood movie.

- It's rich men who have vacations.

- [car hooting]

Cool. See, the guys are not so bad,

once you get used to them.

See,

I did not leave the trenches

to come and be living in another trench.

- [Yemi tuts]

- What were you hoping for then? Paradise?

- [somber tune plays]

- [vehicles hooting]

To think I have friends who would

give up anything just to move abroad.

[scoffs, hisses]

[scoffs, chuckles]

- [car hooting]

- You're not joking?

My friend,

paradise comes to all

with wisdom or death.

- [birds chirping]

- [traffic noises]

[Aunty Bunmi rubbing hands]

[muttering prayers]

[comical music plays]

[sighs]

Good morning.

Good morning.

Sorry to have kept you waiting.

I am Dr. Siddarth Kapoor,

your lead consultant on the case.

Oh, good.

How are you?

Fine, thank you.

Great.

So I see, you're Nigerian.

[lively guitar plays]

Yes, I'm a Nigerian.

Is there any problem about that?

[chuckles] No, not at all.

In fact, I love Nigeria.

My wife is Nigerian.

- No!

- Yeah.

[both laugh]

- That means I'm your mother-in-law.

- [Siddarth laughs]

Okay.

[lively guitar fades out]

So ma'am, I've gone

through your case and your files.

I feel we should do a few more tests.

- More tests?

- Just to reconfirm.

Alright.

So, how many weeks

do you want me to come back?

Weeks?

If you're ready for it,

we can do it right now.

- [sighs] Right now?

- Yeah.

Okay. Why am I here?

Perfect.

[in Hindi] Seema,

please prepare for the ultrasound. Yes.

[lively music plays]

[mouths] Thank you.

So [chuckles] how is our Naija wife doing?

- She's good. [chuckles]

- [Aunty Bunmi chuckles]

How many years of marriage?

Five years now.

Five years!

- Yeah. [chuckles]

- Mmm. [chuckles]

And how many kids?

No kids.

[somber music plays]

Hm, no, don't worry,

[laughs] before you know it now,

your house will be full of children.

Twins.

- [giggles] Back to back. Wait and see.

- [Siddarth laughs]

- That'll be quite something.

- Mm-hmm.

Okay. So ma'am,

coming back to your diagnosis.

Oh, yeah, okay.

I've gone through it,

everything remains pretty much the same.

- [tuts] Good.

- But, I would like to have you admitted.

[tense music plays]

- Why?

- It's not bad news,

I just want to do a few more

tests over the next couple of days.

Without your stress levels

going up of course.

So you don't have

to travel back and forth.

- [mutters] Okay then. Alright.

- Mmh.

Is there someone you can call?

[sighs] Oh, ye

No.

- It's just me.

- [sighs softly]

Okay.

Well

Aunty If I can call you Aunty.

Why not? [chuckles]

Um Aunty, you're not alone.

I'm here for you.

All our doctors are here for you.

So don't worry.

Thank you. [chuckles]

[in Pidgin] Do you

know why I will trust you?

[chuckles]

I will trust you

because you are a Naija bobo

- by marriage.

- [Dr. Siddarth laughs]

- Right?

- Yeah, I'm your Naija bobo.

[both laughing]

- So, we're good to go, right?

- Yes, we are good to go.

- Great, perfect.

- Thank you.

- [birds chirpping]

- [traffic noises]

[soft music plays]

[both chuckle]

[phone ringing]

Hi dear.

Uncle! I had two scoops of ice cream,

and a double chocolate chip cookie.

- [laughs]

- And I even did a hula hoop.

[Siddarth laughing] Wow,

and a good afternoon to you too.

Good afternoon! Are you still at work?

Well yes, I am.

And I'm enjoying talking to you.

But can you do one thing?

Can you give the phone to your aunty?

You know, I wanna talk to her.

Because when

I don't talk to her for too long,

- my heart aches.

- Yeah, sure.

His heart is aching him.

Please talk to him.

[both laugh]

Hey you.

Hey, dear.

My shift is ending soon

barring any emergencies.

How's it going?

Aanya is growing up so fast

- and

- Doctor Siddharth Kapoor

please report to the ICU.

Doctor Siddharth Kapoor

please report to the ICU.

Yeah, why are you still on the phone?

- [in Hindi] Go, hurry up and go.

- Okay, bye. I love you.

[in English] I love you too.

- [water splashing]

- [birds calling]

- Hi!

- Mama!

Hi baby.

- Hi Jai. Come here.

- I missed you.

- I missed you too.

- How was your day? Did you have fun?

Hi.

- How are you?

- Good.

Did you have fun, baby?

- Yes. I had jellybeans, cakes,

- Okay.

and ice cream, too.

Sounds like a sugar rush

is waiting to happen, huh?

Sorry, it's so hard

to say no to this face.

- [Zainab smooches]

- Mama?

Can Aunty sleep in my room tonight?

- I want to show her my new doll also.

- [chuckles]

Maybe another night baby,

your uncle will miss her.

And his heart will ache, no?

[laughing]

At this point if you want her,

you can have her, okay?

No, thank you. Thank you.

The best part of being

an aunt is you get to give them back.

I know. Well I can't wait

to start giving you your kids back,

after a full day of sugar and candy.

[tense music plays]

Hey, chin up.

It's just been five years, okay?

Don't worry, you'll have a house full

of kids sooner than you think.

Trust me.

- Bye!

- Bye.

[distant traffic]

[dancers chattering]

[dancers laughing]

Did someone order

a mascot for the Fashion Police?

[dancers woo]

Welcome everyone.

I will jump straight in.

We start with the dance sequences.

Leads in the center

and extras on the outside.

Okay. In center, Asher,

Ronny, Rajesh,

Ati, ̂Savita.

[sighs]

[chuckles] That was awkward.

- Ronny,

- [scoffs] Yeah?

- be kind.

- Sure.

Extras, Andy, Sweetu, Yemi,

Lata.

[bird whistling]

Guys, please welcome

all the way from Nigeria,

Mr. Yemi Ajakaiye.

- Did I get that right?

- Ajakaiye.

Ajakaiye, right.

We look forward for all

the excitement you're gonna bring.

- [Ronny whispers]

- [woman 1 laughing]

[upbeat music plays]

Ah-ah. Are these not akara?

[upbeat music continues]

[Ronny exclaims]

Third-world problems.

What?

Grow up Ronny.

You're from the third-world too.

[soft music plays]

- [footsteps receding]

- [cuttleries clinking]

[indistinct chattering]

Don't let Ronny get to you.

[Yemi in Pidgin] What is [hisses]

[in English] What's his problem now?

He gets that way

when there's fresh blood around.

So, how's our first day going?

[exclaims]

My waist.

You know um, back in Nigeria,

when we dance we use

the legs, the hands, you know, shaku.

But this one, my waist,

it's as if I did exercise.

You'll get used to it.

By the time daily dance rehearsals

are over it will feel like breathing.

If you need help commuting

from a relative's place

Relatives?

Yeah, your manager

said you'd be staying with

Oh yeah! They are good. [tuts]

I mean um

they've helped me

to arrange transportation.

Mmh.

Well, good luck, man.

I'm sure you'll do great.

See you on set in five?

Yeah?

Her charts look good.

- Mmh.

- Stable.

- That's good news.

- Mmh.

[in Hindi] And Kareena,

isn't your shift over?

[sighs] Actually,

I saw you have a night shift

so I just thought of keeping you company.

So yeah, I'll be pulling

a double shift tonight.

[sighs] Thank you,

but I think you should rest.

Maybe I'll rest uh when you do?

[upbeat music plays]

Um, actually, I need to go

to Nurse Sunita, I need some info.

- Sure.

- Have a good day, doc.

- Yeah.

- I'll see you soon.

- Yeah.

- Mm?

Doctor Siddharth!

Aunty I'm sorry, did I wake you up?

No, there's no problem,

you didn't wake me up.

What's

[exhales deeply]

I didn't know

your wife was working with you.

My

I know you said your wife was Nigerian.

Yes, my wife is Nigerian,

but she's not in the medical field.

She's not.

What about the

doctor that just stepped out?

Kareena?

The one with goo-goo eyes.

[chuckles]

Kareena is just a co-worker, that's it.

[upbeat music crescendos]

Co-worker?

Yeah.

[sighs]

Doctor

I want you to know something.

Yeah.

I want you to be very careful.

[sighs] You see every smile you see

is not innocent.

Oh my God. [inhales deeply]

Aunty, Kareena is just a co-worker.

There's nothing between me and her.

Nothing.

Okay.

[laughing]

You're a very good man.

- Yeah, this part you got right. [laughs]

- [laughs]

[sighs] Okay.

And it's because you have time

- that's why you take more shifts.

- [wistful music plays]

Yeah, so?

If you had twins

in the house

you will be looking

for who to dash your shifts to.

- Twins huh?

- Mmh.

You're really talking about twins?

Aunty, do you have twins?

And did they not give you enough time to,

you know, move around?

No, I don't have twins.

I have just one.

But that one,

[chuckles, sighs]

is more than five of them.

- [chuckles]

- Wow.

Actually, he is in school.

And I've been trying hard

to get through to him.

The moment he finds out I'm here,

he'll be right here with me.

That is the beauty of love.

We receive and give.

You see that my beautiful boy Ife,

he's my biggest headache

and at the same time,

my greatest blessing.

Kids

Kids.

are such a such a contradiction, right?

Always.

It's best of both worlds.

And that love,

is bigger than

any other thing in the world.

True.

[male voice on TV]

Yes, he's our last defender.

- Onto his right foot. Hey! It's a goal!

- [door opens]

- [sighs]

- Hey.

Hi.

Missed you.

I know.

Missed you too.

How was your day?

I'm so hungry.

Yeah?

I ordered Chinese food.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

Yes.[chuckles]

Come, let's go.

[both chuckle]

Aanya looked that kid in the eye

and insisted he apologize to her.

- [chuckles] And I'm sure he did.

- [chuckles]

- Right? [laughs]

- Of course. [laughs]

She wasn't going to back down, at all.

- Mmmh?

- [Zainab] Mmh.

You know it reminds me of someone I know.

Someone I know very well.

[laughs]

And I will never apologize for it.

You know, but I think it's

80% of your sister that's in Aanya.

Well I guess,

an African mother is also

as deadly as an Indian mother.

Our kids will be lucky

to have a mother like you.

Mmh?

[wistful music plays]

Mr. Kapoor?

Mmh?

[in Hindi] What are you doing?

I'm having noodles.

Are you fishing?

What do you mean?

[in English] For what?

I just called you a great mother.

Right?

[tense music playing]

That reminds me of a conversation

I had with Rispa today.

For some reason,

she was comforting me for not having kids.

So? That's not a crime.

- Is it?

- [scoffs]

- [sighs]

- Siddharth,

does your family think

we're trying to have kids?

Every family hopes for the same thing.

It's not a bad thing.

[in Hindi] Not for them.

[in English] But we have decided

never to have kids, right?

Yeah but, never is a long time.

[both sigh]

We already agreed, no kids.

We're the cool

aunt and uncle and that's it.

- It's enough. [inhales deeply]

- Okay Zainab,

you're being very very selfish.

We both are involved in this.

Right? We both must have a say in this.

We were on the same page

and now you're bailing on me.

And I am allowed to change.

Am I not?

[tense music playing]

You don't get

to call me selfish for keeping my word.

Well

I'm done with this. I'm going for a walk.

[tense music crescendos]

[cutlery clinking]

- [door closes]

- [sighs]

[wistful music plays]

[wistful music continues]

[cries]

[wistful music fades out]

[upbeat music plays]