01x03 - The Sweaty Ogre and the Turquoise Scales

[bunniefuu]

SPA

Evening Discount

Apparently, there's an ogre who

appears in the sauna at night

An ogre?

It'd be a shame to let these go to waste,

but I'm not sure what to think

First things first, human.

What is a "sauna"?

It's a steam bath!

Easy to loose weight!

Lots of sweat → Metabolism boost!

The idea is that sweating

boosts your metabolism,

which puts your body in a state

where it's easier to lose weight.

Well if it means losing weight,

then I'll give it a shot.

Besides, French fries taste better

after a nice, hot bath.

Doesn't that defeat the purpose?

Plus-Sized Elf

The Sweaty Ogre and

the Turquoise Scales

Wow, seems I've got the place all to myself again.

Now where's this "sauna" thingy?

Oh no Is that the mythical

a*s-dumpling monster?!

What are you doing here?

I was just trying to relax

after a hard day's work!

You're the one who should be ashamed

of showing up at a public bathhouse

with that big blubbery belly of yours!

Blubbery bellies have as much of

a right to be here as anyone else!

Then so do dumplings!

I came here to try out the sauna.

I don't have time for your nonsense.

Hey, wait a minute!

I'm here for the sauna, too!

If that's true, then what are you

loafing around out here for?

I-I was enjoying a bath first, that's all

Oh?

Is it the ogre?

Hah, I knew it.

You're scared of the rumors,

aren't you? Chicken.

I'm not scared!

There's the sauna.

C'mon, let's go see

what all the fuss is about.

HOT!

MY FACE IS ON FIRE!

Th-there's no way!

120°?!

It's a literal inferno

This can't be good for the body, can it?

I trust the human's judgment!

Let's do this!

I'M MELTING!

Jeez, shuddup already.

Those horns

You're the ogre!

And you talk too much.

Hurry up and close the door.

You're gonna let the heat out.

It's unbearable with the door closed

Every breath makes my lungs burn

Of all the places to run into elves

What's so funny?!

Nah, it's nothin'.

Just figured it'd be too hot in here

for you wimpy little elves.

For your own safety,

I suggest pacin' yourselves.

Excuse me?!

Do not underestimate us elves!

We can handle a little heat!

Yeah, what she said!

That so?

Then pick a spot and have a seat.

Already way ahead of-

My poor, tender a*s!

That was horrible. You tricked us!

Wasn't a trick.

Either wrap a towel 'round

your waist or sit on one

So hot

It's funny, an elf traveling all the way to

an alternate dimension to sit in a sauna?

That's not somethin' you see every day.

You could say the same thing about an ogre.

Sounds like you visit pretty often.

You're the talk of the town.

What?! Now I get it

No wonder I haven't seen

any other customers here lately.

So are your people big fans

of saunas or something?

Eh, we could take 'em or leave 'em.

What us ogres really like is alcohol.

Booze!

Then why spend so much time

hanging out here?

Huh?! I mean it's a free country

Wh-what?

Well, your stomach

Shuddup, shuddup!

I didn't mean for this to happen!

I just keep drinking too much!

Yummy

It's not my fault!

The human world's booze

is too damn delicious!

I see. You've got a point.

No, she doesn't! Have some self-control!

You're letting your vices

take over your lives!

I think now is the perfect time

to practice exercising patience.

A battle of wills? Sounds like fun!

But we might as well sweeten the pot!

How 'bout the winner gets to eat or drink

as much as they want on the loser's dime?

All you can eat

All you can drink

All-you-can-drink

All-you-can-eat

Are you sure? 'Cause I'm going to win!

So it's a deal.

Why would you wager food

if you're coming here to lose weight?

Ugh, I can't deal with this.

Then let the battle begin.

Ready

GO!

Nothin' beats an ice-cold beer after a bath!

What did I do to deserve this?

GIMME MY MONEY BACK!

Oh, quit being a sore loser!

Have you no pride?!

Shut up! Fries over pride forever!

What's with all the ruckus?

You won't believe it!

She turned my precious

French fries into alcohol!

What? Wait, who even is she?

The name's Oga. Pleasure.

Human! Fries

Need fries!

E-Elfuda!

Just one!

I'll settle for one! Please!

It's way too late to be eating fried food!

I promise I'll start my diet tomorrow!

Welp, so much for losing weight

I guess she needs more coaching

Plus-Sized Elf

Plus-Sized Elf!

Fishmonger

We got some tasty mackerel today, y'all!

I already told you that I'm a vegetarian

Our fresh mackerel is a steal!

But not because of a medical condition

or anything, right?

Watch the shop for me, Mero.

You can't subsist on French fries.

Yessir!

Fish is a great option when you're on a diet.

Sardines ¥70

They're rich in protein and

omega-3 fatty acids.

How crass!

Lining up their carcasses like that

This place is a crass station.

What's a "crass station"?

Where you fill up-

Hey, don'tcha mean a GAS station?!

You scared me

Sorry, mister!

I'm a fishmonger, so I couldn't

stop myself from takin' the bait!

Now if yer hankerin' for some fish,

I reckon yer mega-serious about

them omega-3s!

Fish is delicious and nutritious!

Beauty, weight loss,

it's got all kinds of benefits!

I eat fish three times a day myself!

See how supple it makes my skin?

Uh, don't you mean "flabby"?

STAB

MY SELF-ESTEEM!

Elfuda, that was very rude!

It's alright, she's preachin' to the choir

Ever since I rolled into town,

I ain't had much time to exercise

or go swimmin'.

Then I stuff my face with fish

'cause they're so tasty.

It's a vicious cycle

Is something the matter?

What the-?!

My gills was gettin' dry.

"Gills"? D-does that mean?

Correct. She is what's known as a "merrow."

In other words, a fish person.

How'd ya know?!

Wait just a darn minute Yer an elf!

And I much prefer the term "mermaid"!

"Fish person" sounds like

a waist up situation.

I'm a fish from the waist down.

My secret potion lets me transform-

Speak of the devil!

Feels like the effects are about to wear off

Get ready!

Y'see?!

She's a real mermaid.

This is what happens when

the potion wears off.

Potion?

You used merrow tears?

But I've heard it takes ten years

to distill one teardrop.

Well, lucky for me, I discovered a substitute.

ORGANIC

MACA EXTRAC

Check it out!

Y-you used that?!

Not sure what it's for, but the ingredients

are mostly the same as merrow tears.

Plus, a single sip gives me

human legs for five hours!

That doesn't maca any sense

Whaddya think? Ain't it neat?

Could you PLEASE put on some clothes?!

Ya know I can't go 'round

swimming in public as a mermaid!

Them news cameras would swarm me!

So that's why my biceps

turned into a flab fest!

Well, sure, but can't you just swim

while you're transformed?

Or find a seaside area

where there are no people around?

I can't stand saltwater and I sink

like a rock when I'm in human form.

Human bodies are so grueling!

I'm like a fatty fish that's

prime for the market.

The flab on your arms

is bothering you, I take it.

Would you like some advice?

Huh?

Muscle loss is the leading cause

of flabby skin.

Thankfully, you can get rid of it by

doing sets of bicep and tricep exercises.

Dumbbells would provide you

with a efficient workout.

But if you don't have any,

then you can use plastic bottles

that are full of water instead.

Even just a little weight

will make a difference.

There are other exercises like

wall push ups that can help, too.

I think I could handle doing those!

I also recommend a lymphatic massage

after you finish bathing,

as a way to help filter out

the waste from your body.

But bathin' turns me into soup broth!

Uh-huh, sure.

I can show you how to do it.

The human already taught me.

For starters, rub your armpits

over and over in a circular motion.

Like this?

Then go from wrist to elbow,

and elbow to armpit,

while massaging each area with

a squeezing motion to make it flow.

I'm gettin' the hang of it.

You don't have to squeeze

super hard, okay?

It's good to make this a daily habit!

Right, human?

Exactly.

Have you been keeping up with it, Elfuda?

Totally

Ain't nobody believin' that!

Pardon me for asking, but why do you

speak with that accent, Mero?

Cause it helps gussy up my character!

Have you ever been down south before?

Nope!

Well, that's definitely gonna upset the locals!

Fishmonger

Shucks, that lesson of yers was

useful as all get out! Thanks much!

Oh, hey. Let me return the favor

with some top-o-the-line roe!

It's all yers!

I couldn't accept something so expensive.

Phooey! Don't give me that!

It's gonna expire soon anyways.

Oh really?

Then I'll happily accept it.

What are those weird red ba*ls?

They're eggs from a fish we call "salmon".

Are you sure they're safe to eat?

Don't fuss and find out

for yourself by tryin' 'em!

Ya can't judge foods by their looks!

Well?

Holy shrimp!

Oops, those were MY eggs!

ELFUDA!

Just messin'! I hope I didn't

krill ya with my little joke!

I need to wash my mouth out

with hot French fries.

Hurry and gimme some!

I'll go buy some right away!

Wait why French fries?

Oh my! What an adorable doggo!

Are you hungry?