01x05 - Episode 5

[bunniefuu]

- I'm engaged.

- To who?

- Ranesh.

- Neens.

- Nina.

- I'd hate for there to be

a chasm between us.

- Will you be my maid of honor?

- Yeah!

- You could be

digging these up

on the Isle of Wight.

You should apply.

NINA: I know that I say

I need Evie,

but I need you too.

I can see your testicles.

- [Gasps]

- Let's get f*cked up!

- Could you bring me drugs

so I can make

something fun happen?

- Drugs? Yeah!

- I'm in a place called

- Rothesay?

This is my old friend Euan.

- Hello, boy.

NINA: There's this lady called

Dr. Katherine Dunne,

and she's looking

for people to go

to the Isle of Wight

and work with her,

and I applied.

[Upbeat music]

- Right.

- Do you want to be

my plus-one?

- Yeah.

- Evie!

LEE: Oh, sh*t.

[Upbeat rock music]

[Scrubbing]

- Have you seen my ammonite?

- Mm-mm.

- Are you still feeling rough?

- Me?

Literally never better.

- Do you wanna talk

about Rothesay?

- [Chuckles]

Rothesay was amazing.

You outdid yourself.

So fun.

Just me and my girls.

- I mean about the

The Euan thing.

- What Euan thing?

You know, once the grease

gets stuck in the grout,

you're toast.

- Evie.

Have you got cold feet?

- No.

I don't have cold feet.

Nina, my feet are warm.

They're hot.

Hot, hot, hot.

Like the fiery pits of hell.

- I think it's clean.

Why don't we just tell him?

- Nothing happened,

and nobody needs to know,

so don't say anything.

- Mm.

[Whispering] But I'm bad

at keeping secrets.

I don't know what to do

with my face.

- Nothing.

Do nothing with your face.

No, don't smile.

No emotion.

Just change the subject.

- Do you remember

when you got a D in food tech,

and you said,

"Nina, don't tell anybody

that I got a D in food tech,"

and then Mum asked me outright

what your grade was

in food tech,

and then I panicked,

and I just started

talking about the history

of the spatula

in a weird old posh-man voice?

I'm scared that that's

gonna happen again, Evie.

- This isn't food tech.

It's my future.

- Yes, I know.

That's what makes it harder.

EVIE:

Nina.

I'm getting married

in three days.

Promise me, please,

not a word to anyone.

- [Groaning]

- Was that a yes[groans]

Or a no[groans]

- I'll try my best.

[Groaning]

RANESH:

Come on now, Bo.

Shoes off, please.

The girls are

a socks-only household.

Oof.

What did Rothesay do to you?

- What's with all the milk?

- Deal on at the shops,

so Ranesh bought the lot.

- Evie, baby, make a sound ♪

Your boy got almond milk

for a pound ♪

One-pound milk,

smooth as silk ♪

Yeah, one-pound milk,

smooth as silk ♪

One pound ♪

EVIE: Yeah, babe!

- Oh!

[Whispering] Did you do this?

- What? No. I had one bowl.

I definitely left some.

- "Some"?

There's not a single puff

in there!

Nary a puff.

It's just dust!

[Groaning]

Grow a pair of testicles

and move back in

with your witchy girlfriend!

- Ouch.

- So, Neen-meister,

what's crack-a-lacking

in the world of my fave sis?

- I don't know if you've heard.

The bees are back.

RANESH: Nice. Nice.

Oh, Evie said that she had

the best time in Rothesay.

Top grades to you.

- Mm. Yes.

Indubitably.

Jolly, fantastic time

was had by all.

- Who invited Shakespeare?

- You know what they say.

What happeneth in Rothesay

stayeth in Rothesay.

- [Laughs]

- [laughing] Why?

What happened?

Here are my beans. Spill.

- Golf. Golf. Golf.

Hunners of golf.

- Amber got a hole in one.

- Amber got a hole in one.

- Amazing. Amazing.

Straight in that hole.

- Ball, hole.

[Popping sound]

[laughter]

- I don't get the joke.

- Well, I love to hear

about a female triumph.

Hmm.

- On that note,

I better go to work.

- Oh, and what is this

I hear about

your new fancy fella

turning up?

- Only there at the end.

We barely even saw him.

NINA: Mm-mm.

Like a ghost.

[Whooshing]

- Anyway, Ranesh,

you should get going.

- Right you are, right you are.

Gonna squeeze in some

transcendental meditation

before Dad arrives.

- I'll see you both at dinner.

- Can I give you

a lift to work?

BOTH: No!

- She has new shoes

that she's got to break in.

- Ranesh, I have new shoes

that I have to break in.

Because I've got fat feet,

and it rubs

against the leather,

so I have to break them in.

[Door opens, closes]

- Oi, Yoda,

what was that about?

- What?

BO: Evie was being strange.

- Evie's always strange.

Have you seen my ammonite?

Evie had it made into

a necklace for me

for my 18th birthday.

I had it around here somewhere.

It looks like a shell.

- Pretty sure I've never

seen that in my life.

- Yes, you have.

I have a job interview,

and I need it.

- Why?

- Because it is cold,

and it's smooth,

and it makes me feel safe.

- Right,

'cause that won't look strange

when you're

fiddling with a seashell

in your interview.

- Bo, if you're not gonna help,

go away!

- [Scoffs]

I'll go away if you tell me

why you two are being so weird.

Evie was like

a guinea pig on speed,

and you were a solid 9.5

on the weird-Nina scale.

- Yes, Bo, and you were

a solid ten billion

on the Bo's-a-d*ck scale.

- Good one.

Go on, then!

Did something happen

in Rothesay?

- Nothing occurred in Rothesay.

Everything is absolutely

compos mentis.

- So something did happen.

You go full House of Lords

when you lie.

- I emphatically do not.

Now please get out of my way,

good sir,

and I shall bid you adieu.

Why are you following me?

- Coming with you.

I have to know,

did mad Amber steal a baby?

- Well done, Sherlock!

You've solved it!

You're a genius.

[Upbeat music]

BO: No, if Amber stole a baby,

it'd have its own

Instagram by now.

Did Amber pull a stripper?

- There are no strippers

in Rothesay.

- Did you strip?

- Go home, Bo!

- No, that wouldn't explain

the weird vibe with Ranesh.

Oh, f*ck.

Evie pulled some random,

didn't she?

- Please stop talking.

- sh*t!

- You can't tell anyone

about this.

If you do, I'm gonna invite

Hilda to the wedding.

- Don't threaten me.

That's the sort of sh*t

you take to the grave.

I mean, I've had

ingrown hairs that have

been around longer than Ranesh,

but still, this is dark.

Jesus, Nina,

why'd you have to tell me?

- I didn't!

[Bell ringing]

- Your paper on the integument

of Coelurosauria

was very impressive.

- Thank you.

Um, I cited you in my work.

- I saw.

- With the Ankylosaurus

and its armor,

well, we know that the spines

[Phone buzzing]

We know that the spines

helped the dinosaurs survive,

but perhaps they served

another function.

- Well, that's what

we're hoping to find out.

[Phone buzzing]

- Yes.

Um, I read your paper.

It's not why I brought it up.

It's just that

II really like textures,

and I have been looking into

a new species

with iridescent feathers.

And they're interesting,

because[clears throat]

That's interesting,

because you live

your whole life in this

In this spectrum of color.

And then these humans

come along,

and they just simplify you down

to not more than a lizard-like

creature with scales.

And I think that's

I think that's narrow-minded.

[Phone buzzing]

II think it's rude.

[Notification chiming]

- I completely agree.

Yeah.

Thank you for your time,

Dr. MacArthur.

I think that's all.

We are meeting a few more

people, but we'll be in touch.

- Thank you.

And on a personal note,

can I just say

how brilliant it is

to get to talk to you?

And I really look

Forward to hearing from you.

- [Inhaling sharply]

- How was it?

- I've seen a lot worse,

to be fair.

[Phone ringing]

I've also seen a lot better.

- sh*t.

- It wasit was more

awkward than anything.

But they've got myself

and Declan's recommendation,

so that's a big plus.

Oh, would you like

a strawberry lace?

I keep them in my bag

for emergencies.

- No, thank you.

- I mean, look, it wasn't

a complete car crash.

Not at all.

- Shane, which one was it?

Was it good or was it bad?

- It was groundbreaking.

- You are lying.

You said it was awkward.

- No, honestly,

I have no criticisms

Development areas.

Smashed it.

Considering.

Are you sure I can't treat you

to a strawberry lace?

♪

NINA: [quietly]

Why has he not replied?

[Sighs]

What a weirdo.

I don't get it.

I don't get it.

- I don't think

she gets it, man.

- I hope you break another leg!

- Ooh.

Harsh.

- Sorry.

♪

- Hey, how'd it go?

NINA: Bad.

It doesn't help that you

text me every two minutes!

- Why did you have

your phone out?

That's not very professional.

- Shut up!

BO: All right, here's the plan.

It's just family dinner,

no Ranesh.

Should be chill.

Burying stuff's my speciality.

Let's avoid all things

Rothesay.

We get through this together,

and then tomorrow,

we Bill Murray it.

- Put on backpacks

and fight ghosts?

- I was thinking more

that we wake up

and pretend this day

never happened.

- That's not the plot

of Groundhog Day.

The plot of Groundhog Day

is that he lives the same day

over and over and over again,

and then uses that

- Why do you nitpick

everything?

[Phone buzzing]

[cat yowling ring tone]

Speak of it being haunted.

- The usual table,

Madame and Monsieur?

- Christ.

Fawlty Towers again, Dad?

DIANE: Oh, hi, loves.

- Hiya.

- What is this?

I didn't realize Jason's son

was allergic to gherkins.

ADE: I hope you're hungry.

- Jason?

ADE: Added a cheeky surprise

- I don't know.

- To the lasagna.

- Oh, it's bad enough

with a top hat.

Hope he doesn't wear it

to the wedding.

- Ready-salted crisps

on top for added crunch.

I saw it in

the Reader's Digest.

Did a non-crisper one

too, though,

in case I hump that one.

And a veggie one for Evie,

and a lactose-free one,

because your mother's been

getting a dicky tummy again

when she has white sauce.

- This lasagna

actually looks banging.

ADE: I just need

another 45 minutes.

- Oh, look!

Amber's just

WhatsApped pics of us

at the hen do.

Oh, it's lovely, innit?

Oh, we had such

a great time at Rothesay.

- Mum, when's Evie

getting here?

ADE: She's already here.

- She's upstairs with Ranesh.

- Ranesh is here?

I thought he had

transcendental meditation.

- No, well, his dad's

flight was delayed.

- I think he just wants

to try my crisp lasagna.

- So Evie and Ranesh are

sorting the bunting, I think.

Ed, are they

sorting the bunting?

Yes, they're

sorting the bunting.

Cross that off the list.

The bunting. Mm.

[Indistinct chatter

in distance]

Oh, here they come.

- [Choking, coughing]

Sorry, I need a slash.

Um, just suddenly desperate.

You know what it's like.

- Right, what's next?

God, I've got to sort

the drinks table

and the wedding decorations

for the garden.

- I can help with that.

I like drinks and tables.

- Anything labeled D needs

to go to the drinks table.

Anything with a W is

wedding decorations.

Let's stack these by the door,

ready for setting up.

- This?

ADE: No, that's M for macramé.

That's one of your mother's

new hobbies.

You're looking for

a W in a circle.

- Circle, got it.

- This is nice, eh?

Just like old times,

all of us mucking in together?

- Oh, you know me and boxes.

Can't get enough of them.

[Rhythmic knocking]

RANESH:

Hey, hey. Neens,

do you have a mo'

for a word about something?

- No, I'm busy.

- Oh.

Can I help?

NINA: No, thank you!

We've got it covered!

- Of course you can, son.

Many hands make light work.

- Oh, we should do a chain.

Bo gets a box, passes it to me,

and I pass it to Neens,

and so on.

One team, one dream.

- That's a brilliant idea.

Hey, hey, they don't call him

a strategy creator for nothing.

- [Chuckles]

Well, actually, I'm a

Never mind.

ADE: Let me know if you see my

cassette collection, will ya?

It's labeled CC.

I was sure I left it

on the safekeeping shelf,

but it seems to have gone

walkabout.

- Well, Dad,

that's a very important thing.

I shall go and ask Mother

if she's seen them immediately.

- No, wait! Listen.

Um, you've been

rushing around all day.

I'll go.

- Oh, no, Bo.

You stay here and stack boxes.

You're so good at it.

- Will you take that

to your mum, Nina Bean?

I don't know what

she wants to do with it.

- I'd be delighted. Ha!

- Chain me, Bobo.

Chain me!

- These are your

great-aunt's doilies.

I haven't seen these

since your grandpa's funeral.

NINA: They're interesting.

- Oh, she sent them

for the wedding,

but they're totally hideous.

I'll tell you what.

Why don't we just put them

under the table for now, eh?

[Grunts]

Now, I've got you down

as "Nina plus one."

But you won't need that,

will you?

- I do need that.

I invited Lee.

- What? No.

[Chuckles]

He can't come to the wedding.

- Why not?

- Well, you've only known him

for about two minutes.

NINA: Oh, and how long

have you known your fiancé?

- Oh, that's

Has he confirmed?

- No, not yet.

Um, I've sent him the details,

but he's very busy

with his coffee and whatnot.

- Well, he better reply soon,

because I need to know

if he's allergic

to gherkins or not.

[Door closes]

Oh, Bo, darling.

Have you seen your daddy?

- Bonding with Ranesh.

DIANE: Mm.

Hey, did the girls tell you

about the, uh,

hen do shenanigans?

Don't tell your dad.

We really let our hair down.

ADE: It's the same technique

that I use for my ravioli.

Nigella taught me.

- So you roll it yourself?

ADE: Oh, Ranesh,

what do you take me for?

I don't do shop-bought

when it comes to pasta sheets.

Never!

It's all about

the wrist action.

You gotta be firm and fast.

- Firm and fast.

Huh.

Oh, hey!

Neens, have you got a minute?

- No.

Um, I don't have any minutes.

I have to set the table

for Dad's four lasagnas.

- I've got many minutes, babe.

- No. No, no.

I need your sister.

It's just, I'd really like

your opinion on something.

It's important.

Please?

- OK.

- Yeah?

Great.

Follow me.

So, the thing is, Evie and I

Did she tell you about

the stuff with

Our vows?

You know,

we're writing our own.

So I was sort of hoping

that maybe I could

run my vows over with you.

I just know that

you'd be really honest.

So, uh, is that OK?

- Sure. OK.

- Great! [laughs]

- What's that?

- Caught red-handed.

My kebab wrapper.

"Here We Gyros" is

a great indulgence of mine.

But, uh, shh.

[Chuckles]

Let's keep that between us.

Shall we continue?

- That writing is tiny.

- It's more

eco-friendly this way.

- Oh.

- All right.

Here I go then.

Sorry, just

- OK.

You've got this.

Inhale your power.

[Inhales deeply]

[sighs]

"Evie MacArthur,

the day we met, my life began.

"After only a brief few weeks,

our souls reached out

"to one another,

and I knew our lives

"were to be entangled forever.

"Because when you know,

you know.

Whatever our souls are

made of"

Oh, no, sorry. No, cut that.

Bit codependent. Ick.

[Chuckles]

Uh, where are we?

Ah.

"Most people find me

a bit intense.

"I've never been able

to trust my decisions

"when I fall in love.

"I always worry

that I'm too much

"or trying too hard.

"But with you,

I don't have to overthink.

"I can just be.

"And I can't wait to share

each messy moment

"of our lives together.

"And with you,

I know I'll never be

left in the dark again."

"I love you, Evie.

"For as long as I'm here,

"I will love everything

that you are.

Thank you for loving me."

Is it too much?

It's too much, isn't it?

I can always cut it.

It's not

- No.

No, it'sit'sit's great.

It'sit's good.

It'sit's lovely.

- Oh. Right.

Thank you.

- After you.

- [Chuckling] Oh.

You're too kind.

- Evie.

We need to talk.

About Ranesh.

I think you need to tell him

about what happened.

Evie, he's all in.

Like, I mean all in.

I know you're all in

for the wedding,

but he'she's not caring

about the party

oror the photographs.

Hehe cares about

forever and ever

andand growing old together.

Is thatis that what you

care about, Evie?

- What I want to know

is why my sister,

the person who I'm meant

to trust most in the world,

went behind my back

and blabbed.

- I didn't tell anybody.

- Then why does Bo know?

- What?

EVIE: You heard me.

Bo knows something.

He's been off with everyone,

and he's stress-eating crisps.

- No, he was just asking me

lots of questions,

and then he guessed.

- I don't believe you.

You told him on purpose,

'cause you're trying

to sabotage my wedding.

- Sabotage your wedding?

Evie, this isn't some

noughties romcom.

You kissed a man

less than 48 hours ago.

[Door shuts]

You can't just pretend

it didn't happen,

like all the other bad things

you've done.

You have to deal with it.

- There is nothing

to deal with.

- You're in denial.

That's what this is.

- You literally have no idea

what you're talking about.

What Ranesh and I have

is mature, and it's deep,

and it's complex,

and you just can't

comprehend that,

because you've never

been in a real relationship.

- Oh, poor autistic Nina.

She doesn't understand

how humans work.

What I understand is that

you kissed another man,

andand you wrote

that note in Rothesay

because you don't want

to get married

and you're too scared

to say anything!

- All my life, I have bent over

backwards to accommodate you.

We go to the zoo,

but we can't see

the penguins,

'cause Nina's having a moment.

- It's a meltdown.

EVIE: For 45 minutes!

And then when you're

finally done kicking off,

the penguin feeding

experience is done!

I didn't get to feed

the baby penguins fish, Nina,

and they don't let people

do that anymore!

Anytime you do

something annoying,

I'm not allowed

to say anything.

I can't react.

And now I get my one big moment

where it's all about me

for the first time in my life,

and you won't let me have it!

- It's not supposed

to just be about you.

It's supposed to be

about you and Ranesh.

- It is!

It's about both of us starting

a new life together

without you clinging on!

- What?

- You always have.

You get to be blunt

and interesting,

and I get to stand back,

smiling

and apologizing for you.

- I'm sorry I'm such a burden.

- I stayed here

to look after you,

and now I'm trapped,

and I'm suffocating,

because you don't

let me breathe.

[Sighs]

I'm done.

So just don't talk to me.

Just leave me alone, OK?

- [Crying]

[somber music]

ADE:

Look at it, Ranesh. Look at it.

RANESH:

Mmm, the aromas.

It's incredible.

ADE:

That's what I'm talking about.

Yeah.

RANESH: It's amazing.

ADE: Oh, where are you going?

NINA: Going out.

♪

- What about my lasagnas?

[Door slams]

[somber music]

- [Breathing heavily]

[sniffs]

Does Lee live here?

- Yeah.

- Aye.

PERSON: No!

No one should be that naked

at that time

in front of that many people!

[Indistinct chatter]

[upbeat dance music playing]

- Nina!

Hi!

What are you doing here?

- I came to see you.

- Oh, sh*t.

I owe

- I owe you a text!

Oh, I'm so bad at texting,

and I'm like an old man,

and I'd lose my head

if it wasn't

[Chuckles] But, ah!

You're here!

That's great.

How did you know where I lived?

- You told me that

you lived in the flat

opposite the chippy

on Clover Street.

- Wow, that's great memory.

[Chuckles]

Can I get you a drink?

- You asked me to give you

the details of the wedding,

and I did.

You didn't reply.

And Evie and I had a fight,

and Shane said "eesh,"

after my interview,

and everything feels

really bad,

and I just wanted

to talk to you, but

You're having a party.

- It's not my party.

II don't know

half the people here.

But look, look, I

I can start

to, like, overthink,

and I get quite,

um, overwhelmed.

Butbut I'm so glad

that you're here.

NINA:

You're confusing me.

You're so confusing,

and everything is

so confusing all the time,

and I just needed something

to be straightforward.

I shouldn't have come.

- No, no, Nina,

Nina, wait, wait

- No. Please don't touch me.

Please.

[SHHE's "Eyes Shut"]

SINGER:

You should know ♪

I'm just like you ♪

♪

Tryin' to cover up ♪

- [Crying]

[breathing heavily] OK. OK.

[Line ringing]

Pick up. Pick up.

♪

Hello.

Hi.

I'm sorry that I was a sh*t.

I need you to please

come and get me.

I don't wanna be by myself.

Please.

♪

[sobbing]

BO: Oi, get in, Lurch.

[Soft music playing on radio]

- Thank you.

- Shut it.

Here.

[Singer singing indistinctly]

I found this by the TV.

[Engine starts]

So you had a good time then?

[Cloth's "Never Know"]

SINGER:

I could only ever be down ♪

Knowing that I love you ♪

So much that it hurts ♪

You'd never know ♪