02x06 - All I Ever Wanted

[bunniefuu]

What?

f*cking gold.

Really?

f*cking gold, Amy! Really?

Yeah. It's like the WikiLeaks of
Abaddonn. You're Julian Assange.

Shut up!

No. I won't shut up.

This is so awesome!
Are you serious?

You've made my year. I
could just f*cking kiss you.

It's just so freaking
exciting, man! Oh, my God.

Jeff, really? I thought there was
a lot there, but then I wasn't sure.

There's so much
stuff. Are you kidding?

How about those
e-mails with Munger?

I know. We pinned him. He's
literally buying a public official

right there in black and white.

This is like the Pentagon
Papers over here...

I thought I had a lot before, so I
started second guessing myself.

For corporate America.
That's an overstatement,

kind of exaggerating.
By the way, I can't pretend

that I understand at
all, but the e-mails...

How you got all this
stuff. I can't believe it.

It's everything you
said they were doing.

I know. It's amazing.
This guy's a scumbag.

You're amazing. I mean,
how brazen can you be?

Amy...

Good job.

Thanks.

Oh, really. I know you risked a lot,
and I know you worked really hard,

so I want you to know what
you did was really good, brave,

really important.

That's all I ever wanted.

My editor's gonna flip.

I mean, they don't
really deserve it

considering the f*cking
peanuts they pay me.

And you won them a
Pulitzer Prize, right?

Yeah, and there's that.

And I love what I do, and I
don't care that I don't have a life,

but pay me a living wage, you
know what I'm saying? I mean...

Whatever. I'll write a book.

You don't have a life?

Not really since I
divorced, I guess.

When was that?

Um, 2007, I think.

What happened, if you
don't mind me asking, just to...

No. I think we just
wanted different things.

She wanted kids and
dogs and Christmas trees.

I mean, what I want
is to live in this world.

I'm greedy. I want
meaning, I want experience,

I want, you know, to make a
difference and all that bullshit.

That's not bullshit.

I mean, there are tons of women
who don't want those things

or a few or whatever,
but I don't know.

Maybe she just didn't get
you or wasn't the one or...

Sometimes relationships will close
you off and make your world smaller.

That I definitely don't want.

I'd rather be single, frankly.

Totally get that.

Yeah, but, I mean, I don't know.

Maybe if you found somebody who
wanted the same things as you, or...

Yeah.

Sorry this is taking so long.

Eh, it's not a problem.

You bored?

Not at all.

You want to stay over?

Well, I guess it's
kind of late or...

Wait. What do you mean?

Well, I mean, uh...

I guess I mean, do
you want to stay over?

Oh, yeah. My head's
spinning, and I'm just...

Yeah. There's so much going on.

It's all good.

Um, it's been a
while since I, um...

I guess I just... It's
a little overwhelming.

It's okay. No worries.
It's just a thought.

Can it be?

Did I conjure you?

A man not afraid.

A mind that cannot be contained.

A life engaged.

A love not selfish or closed.

Someone to believe in.

Is it possible?

Can it be?

Can you make your
own heaven in this life?

Can you really get
all you ever wanted?

So how long you gonna
keep me in the dark?

About what?

About...

Where you've been for two days?

Well, I, uh, was in LA
with that reporter Jeff.

You met him.

And?

You know what? I don't want to talk
to you about this kind of stuff, Mom.

You're so nervous,
you don't trust me.

I mean, it'd be great if
you could be happy for me,

but it never works out that way.

Happy for you for what?

Things are gonna
change soon for the better,

so I'll tell you when
the time is right, okay?

I don't understand.

Do you have a new
boyfriend or what?

Mom, it's more than that.

The bigger life I dreamed about,

I actually think
I manifested it.

Be happy, Mom. Be happy, okay?

That's all I need from you.

Hey!

How was your weekend?

It was all right, I guess.

Yeah? Great!

You go to a game or something?

I took a really long
nap on Saturday.

Oh, cool! Hi.

Hey. Oh.

So, what's the good word?

Dougie, he said it's gold.

Really? We hit the jackpot.

f*cking t*ts.

This place can
kiss my black a*s.

Hey. Uh, everybody, everybody,

I just want everybody to know that
you guys are all doing a bang-up job,

and don't sweat the
small stuff, all right?

Easy goes it.

Uh, pat yourselves on the back,
and, in fact, take an early lunch.

This stuff will get done
when it gets done, all right?

Oh, hey. Hey.

Amy, I feel really bad about what
happened with Eileen's computer,

and I really don't want you to give
anything you found on there to anyone.

Oh, it's too late. I already
gave everything over to Jeff.

Yeah, but can't you just
tell him, you know, not...

Not to what? Her
boss is a crook, Tyler.

This company is involved in
bribing government officials

and breaking the law.

Yeah, I know, but...

I kind of like her, you know?

I mean...

We're sleeping together.

You're sleeping together? Tyler!

You know what? Then I don't
want you to feel compromised.

I'm not gonna tell you any
more. I'll just leave you out of it.

No. I want to know
what's going on.

Look. I don't think she's
ever gonna know what you did.

Even if she did know,
when all this comes to light,

I honestly believe that she'll
think what you did was courageous.

Everybody will.

Yeah? Hi! How are you?

Awesome. I'm like a pig in sh*t,

but my editor, I
can tell he's a little

nervous because of
all the political fallout,

but he's down, he's pumped.

He knows it's huge.
This is a big deal.

I'm so excited, I don't
know what to do with myself.

I want to see you. I miss you.

I want to see you, too.

Well, come over tonight.

Come to you?

Yeah. Come to Riverside.

Uh, well, I'm just really in over
my head with this, and, um...

Yeah, okay. I'll come out there.

Yeah. Well, you
don't have to. It's...

No. I want to. It's fine.

Okay. Yeah. I just
wanted to see you.

Yeah. Um, how about I
hit the road around 6:00?

Oh, okay. Perfect. Cool.

I'll make a reservation
somewhere, and we'll go have dinner.

Okay. Cool. See you tonight.

Okay. Bye.

Bye.

sh*t.

Oh, sh*t!

Oh.

Amy, who is that? It's Jeff.

He's coming to
take me to dinner.

He's, like, super early.

Okay. Um, how do I look?

Well, you could use a hair trim.

What? Mom, he's at the door.
I can't get a f*cking haircut!

Amy!

Coming!

Hey!

Look who's back.

Hi.

Can I come in?

Good to see you. Oh.

Um, hey. You look great. Gosh!

Why aren't you in Hawaii?

Uh, well, I'm fixed.

I'm serious! No. So am I.

I needed to get my head
back on straight, and look.

Wait a minute. When
did you get back?

Uh, about an hour ago,

and I just decided I'd come
here straight from the airport.

Why?

Because I wanted
to see you. Why?

Well, what do you mean "Why?"

I mean, why didn't you call?

Well, they just gave me
my phone back this morning,

and it was dead, so I...

Hello, Mother.

Oh.

What's going on here?

Can I just say that, ahem, I'm
extremely sorry about what happened,

what I did to the door, and I
intend to reimburse you for that.

I don't think you
should be here, Levi.

Mom, please.

I understand, but things
have changed, okay, Helen?

And my head's clear now.

Mom, can we have a
few minutes, please?

It's okay. Go.

Okay?

Uh, can we just... Um, let's get
out of here. Let's take a walk or...

Mom, I'll be back!

Levi, what the hell?

I mean, couldn't you
have given it a try?

Why didn't you
give it a f*cking try?

I did. I really got into it.

I did. I dug deep.

Shut up.

I'm serious.

Wrote in my journal
every single day,

read every book they gave me,

even cried

in front of the group
a couple times.

Please stop joking, Levi.

I'm not joking. I'm serious.

Why'd you leave?

Why? I had a f*cking epiphany.

Here.

What is it?

It's a letter I wrote you.

I didn't send it, so
I'm just giving it to you.

You want me to read it now?

Yeah, read it. It's not long.

Amy, car.

Heads up.

Sorry.

Did you think it was nice?

Levi.

Can I just say one thing?

Look. I want to live,

I want a life.

I'm done with all the bullshit,

and I can do it,

but I need you.

Don't, oh, do that to me.

No. Listen. I can be the person
that you've always wanted me to be.

I think I can.

Let's get out of the street.

This is sacred land, huh?

What do you mean?

This land knows us, you know?

This is where I first dreamed
of becoming a baseball player.

Got drunk for the first
time under those bleachers.

We used to come here and make
out, hide from my dad, your mom.

It's like people drive by here,
and they see a school, a field.

I see heaven.

And hell.

Oh, sh*t. Sorry.

I'm emotional as
f*ck these days.

It's sad when you realize that you failed
at everything you've ever tried to do.

You're the only one
that ever believed in me.

Why did you?

Because I loved you.

Hey. I know you.

You're my heaven and hell.

It's always just
been you and me.

Please stop, okay?
Just stop. Why?

Because 25 years of
this, of, like, waiting and...

What am I supposed to do now?

I can do it.

We can flip the
script together, Amy.

We can... I can... No.
Levi, I can't believe you.

We can... We can
save each other.

No, we can't.

I know that it's hard. I know.

f*ck you. Seriously.

I know, I know.

You don't know.

I begged you, you f*cking
as*h*le, over and over again.

I know this story,
I know this. Okay?

And I'm never gonna
be enough for you.

You are enough for me. You
are enough, I promise you.

Don't promise me. I do promise.

Look at me.

I don't want this same
old sad story. Me, too.

I want a new
story. It will be new.

It will be brand-new.

You know, that's
the beauty of it.

It can be like...

Grace.

Grace?

Yeah.

Life is beautiful.

Over here!

Good catch! BOY: Thanks!

Oh, sh*t!

Uh, hey. I got to go. I
got to be somewhere.

Where?

Um...

I got a dinner.

Well...

Levi, I don't know
what to tell you.

I just got to... I need
some time to think, okay?

Okay. I got to... I
don't know what I need.

I need to think.

It's okay.

Well, have a good dinner.

I'm gonna just hang
here, catch the sunset.

Yeah. Um...

Welcome back.

Thanks.

You know, we can try again, Amy.

For a baby.

It's not too late.

We can still try.

I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Okay.

But you grew up in Iowa?

Hey! Hi.

Um, I had to just...

I was just telling Jeff that you just
went out for a breath of fresh air.

And we were having a
wonderful conversation

about all the places
that Jeff's been to...

Sweden, Thailand... Mmm-hmm.

Africa!

Jeff, of all the places that you've
been, which is your favorite?

That's tough. You know,
going to a place for the first time

is something I really
love, new adventures.

Um, I'm just gonna be
one minute. I'm sorry.

Jeff, could you just
make yourself comfortable,

and I'll be right back, okay?

Okay. Excuse me.

Honey.

I don't know. I think
I'm just having...

I think I'm having
a panic attack.

I just need a
second. I can't, um...

I can't catch my
breath right now.

Honey, if you
could just sit down.

Honey, just sit down.

Yeah.

I don't know what I should do.

Oh, it's gonna be okay.

It's gonna be okay.
It's gonna be okay.

There you go.

Hey. Sorry. I had to...

No worries.

Should we go?

Yeah. Yeah.

You, uh, have a good time.

Thanks, Mom.

Nice to see you again.

Jeff, you, too. Bye.

So how'd the writing go today?

It's tricky.

It's all about how you frame it.

I think there's just a lot of issues to
unpack, but it's gonna be awesome.

Yeah. Sounds so exciting.

Oh, it's so exciting,
maybe too exciting.

It's hard to sit down and focus

when you know you
have something this good.

Right.

Well, whenever
you have something,

anything... Yeah.

I'd love to read
it. Oh, yeah. No.

Yeah. Definitely.

I'm happy to see you.

I'm happy to see you, too.