01x05 - Not Good Enough Mothers

[bunniefuu]

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(ROCK MUSIC BLASTS ON RADIO)

You don't have to worry about
me working at a homeless shelter

'cause I'd be homeless
if I took that job.

It's Abaddonn all the way, baby.

Even though nobody wants
to talk to me there, I mean...

I don't know why I'm trying so hard. It's
like I've got bubonic plague or something.

Actually, a lot of
people are getting sick.

I think a lot of people down
there have Asperger's, or

whatever that thing is. But, I
just gotta go, "You know what?"

"Give in, you know,
maybe this is where

you're supposed to be,
you know what I mean?"

Are you hungry? Mmm-mmm.

Well, this your first weekend
back, since your treatment, so...

Are you gonna go out, or...

♪ Soakin' wet ALL:
(REPEATEDLY) Shots!

♪ She leakin' soakin' wet

♪ Shake it like a salt shaker
Shake it like a salt shaker

♪ Shake it like a salt shaker
Shake it like a salt shaker

(YELLING) (CHEERING)

(RAP MUSIC CONTINUES)

♪ Make it work
with your wet t-shirt

♪ b*tch you gotta shake
it till your calf muscle hurt

♪ Say the heels on your feet
or the strap around your ankle

ALL: Ugh! Ew!

♪ Call that b*tch Bojangles ♪
Oh!

I'm not going out.

Well, you could help
me in the garden.

This stuff is
fabulous! It's magic.

Yeah, I think I'm
just gonna meditate.

All weekend?

Well, when I was at the center, sometimes,
like, three times a day, we'd do it.

Why? I mean, what for?

Just to stop the
storytelling, Mom.

You know, the compulsive thinking
about yourself and your life, just...

(SIGHS)

Well, good luck.

Thanks.

(MEDITATION MUSIC PLAYS)

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

AMY: Shh.

Slow down. Breathe.

Relax into my body.

Totally present.

Focusing on one spot.

I see my hand.
I see... wrinkles.

My skin. I'm 40.

I'm 40. I'm severely dehydrated.

I need to drink more water.

Relax. Breathe.

Picturing yourself
somewhere calming.

Picture... Picture
the ocean... water...

Oh. I see a river.

I'm walking along a river. It's the,
it's the canyons of the Kern. I'm hiking.

I remember this.

Levi's there. Frankie's there.

I'm pregnant. It
was so beautiful.

I was so happy that day.

God, it all felt so... so right.

But then, oh...

Then the baby miscarried.

(CRYING)

(DOG WHINING)

Then the dog died.

AMY: Get the f*ck away!

Levi started partying.

LEVI: Oh, my day was good,
thanks for asking. And cheating.

Yeah? Since, it ends at four
o'clock in the f*cking morning!

Then we started
hating each other.

Oh, the divorce.

And I fell apart.

♪ Shake it like a salt shaker
Shake it like a salt shaker

♪ Shake it like a salt shaker
Shake it like a salt shaker ♪ Woo!

(SIGHS)

(PHONE RINGS CONTINUALLY)

(SIGHS)

(PHONE BEEPS ON) Yeah.

You know what I was thinking
would be fun sometime?

No.

I was thinking we should
go back to the Kern.

AMY OVER PHONE: You know, just like hiking
and camping and like, being by the river,

or like river-rafting
or just like, you know?

Don't you think that'd be fun?

Okay, well, bye.

AMY: What? I'm sleeping, okay?

Yeah. Okay.

(PHONE BEEPS OFF) (SIGHS)

(PHONE RINGING TONE)

RICK ON PHONE:
Reservations, this is Rick.

AMY: Hey! You're there! I was calling
about the kayak camping weekend.

What kind of
availability is there?

RICK: Mmm, we actually
have an availability

for this weekend, we
just had a cancellation.

Wh... Okay, well,
that's really interesting!

(PHONE RINGS)

(PHONE BEEPS ON) Yeah?

AMY ON PHONE: Hey, I made a reservation!
It's this kayaking, camping expedition.

They had a cancellation.

And so they said that,
like, if we filled this slot...

That we'd get half-price, so
I just made a quick decision.

The thing is that
it's for this weekend.

Hey, Amy, what... I...

I can't f*cking go all the way up to the
Kern to go kayaking at this short a notice.

I can't do it. AMY:
The only thing is

we have to get there kind
of early and it's a long drive,

so, I'll pick you up about
7:00. In the morning?

Yeah. Okay, so I'm
gonna see you at 7:00.

(PHONES BEEP OFF)

Levi?

Hello.

What?

Hey. (SCREAMS)

(LEVI CLEARS THROAT)

What are you doing up?

What do you mean, you
told me 7:00, right? It's 7:00.

Oh, yeah, I didn't
think you'd be...

You told me to be ready at
7:00, I'm ready at 7:00. Let's hit it.

And I'm gonna drive, okay?

Oh, I can drive.

No thanks, I'll drive.

Okay.

(UPBEAT FOLK SONG PLAYS)

Okay, decaf.

I got us some healthy
snacks, too. Great.

Woo! I'm so excited!

Hi, I'm Amy. Hey. Halle,
nice to meet you. Halle.

How are you, I'm Will.
Will, hey. Awesome.

Hey, what's up
man? I'm Will. Levi.

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

Well, all right. Now that
you've all become old friends,

let's see what we got here.

You two aren't married, are you?

No.

I didn't think so, the way
you're hugging each other.

You two are married,
yeah? Thirty-one years.

Three kids, one grand baby.

Two mortgages,
five credit cards.

What about you two, you married?

Um, well we, uh...
Yeah... yeah, no.

Well, all right.

I've introduced myself to some
of you, for the rest of you, I'm Rick.

I used to write for
television. Wow.

RICK: Uh, Rockford Files, Mr. James
Garner. Oh, you love Rockford Files.

RICK: Kojak. BUNNY: Oh, great!

Yeah, they took all my ideas. "Who
loves you, baby?" That was my line.

I did the whole Hollywood thing. But,
that's a special layer of hell down there.

I mean, really sick sh*t.

So, uh, I'm a poet
of the river now.

AMY: Cool.

What we're gonna do is, today we're
gonna be kayaking down for a few hours.

Mostly level two,
level three rapids.

And, tomorrow we're gonna hit
a level four called "The Pinball."

BUNNY: Oh, my God, George.
RICK: A little bit hairy but...

Hell, you'll all be
experts by then.

If we flip and you can only
save one of us, save Bunny.

Yeah, 'cause this was his idea.

I'll save you, Bunny. I
promise you, I won't save him.

All right, let's do it!

Should we do it?

I'll get you uh... Yeah. Okay.

Got it? AMY: Yeah.

Oh, look how beautiful.

LEVI: Ah. HALLE: Nice.

AMY: Woo!

AMY: Rock! Woo-hoo!

LEVI: They're ahead of us.

AMY: Levi, it's not a race.

LEVI: Nope. Let's pass 'em.

LEVI: Excuse us!

GEORGE: Are we racing?

AMY: Woo! GEORGE:
No one said it was a race.

AMY: He is, he is.
GEORGE: Oh, you guys.

You two look like Olympians!

Thank you. You look great, too!

Well, take a picture, 'cause soon
she's gonna look like a drowned rat.

You promised my
hair wouldn't get wet!

GEORGE: I lied.

(YELLS) RICK: Nose
down straight! There you go.

LEVI: Left, left. Oh, my God!

AMY: Oh, my God! This is
insane. LEVI: Okay. Whoa!

LEVI: All right,
okay. Oh, my God.

Insane. Good job! Great job!

I was kinda scared. Yeah.

That was really fun.

AMY: My first love, my husband.

My heartbreak, my pain.

It feels so easy now, here.

You're not the
cheat and the liar.

I'm not the nag and the shrew.

We're not old, or young.

There's no
bitterness or illusions.

No need for fear, or hope.

We're just spirits, drifting
through this perfect earth together.

We can be free
of our sad stories.

They float away, until they're like
memories of a dream from the night before,

shadows under the water.

And what's left is pure life.

Life is the gift.

(INDISTINCT TALKING)

Amy, Amy! C'mon,
we're gonna eat.

We're gonna eat. Okay.

AMY: Good, worked
up an appetite. Good.

Oh, hey, was it cold?

Freezing. I heard
dinner's ready.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'll be right
there. You're going the wrong way.

(HALLE LAUGHING)

HALLE: Hey! Stop it! Hey! Hey!

HALLE: No flashing,
now seriously.

Wow, the current's
stronger than I thought it was.

(WHISPERING) as*h*le.

LEVI: So, you're from
Fresno, huh? HALLE: Yeah.

That's a good town.
Yeah, not too bad.

I like it. Yeah, it's nice.

You ever go down to San
Franci... I'll talk to you later.

Okay.

How are ya? Hey.

Good. I'm gonna
go grab a sweatshirt.

Oh, um, I think
dinner's ready. Okay.

I'll head down there.
Do... Okay, well here's a...

Thank you. Mmm-hmm.

(LEVI UNZIPS BAG)

Amy! Amy!

Yeah?

Hey, um... I'm just
missing some stuff.

What stuff?

Uh, I dunno. Just...

I'm just missing a
couple things outta here.

You mean, your
drugs? I dumped 'em.

Amy. Amy.

Are you joking? Huh? No.

Are you kidding me? No. I
dumped them in the river.

They're gone. What
the f*ck? In the river

Or near the river? Well, you
shouldn't have brought that sh*t

here, anyway. Listen. You got...

It's not a disco,
gross. Hey, what...

You got no f*cking right to
be going in my bag like that.

What the f*ck are you thinking?

Can you calm down? 'Cause...

Calm down? How the f*ck am I gonna
calm down, when you threw the sh*t

that keeps me calm
into the f*cking river?

Okay. Hey! What the
f*ck is your problem?

What the f*ck is your
problem? Hey, watch it!

Hey, you watch it! Listen, I did
this trip as a f*cking favor to you.

You know that? Yeah! A favor?

You're gonna do me a f*cking
favor by spending time with me?

Oh! f*ck you! God
f*cking damn you!

BUNNY: Is everything okay?

What? Yeah. Totally
fine, we're just...

(WHISPERING) f*ck it.

Ow.

RICK: Ready for some grub,
there? f*cking drug addict.

Listen, Rick, where's
the, uh, the highway at?

It's about a half a mile
over that little hill right there.

You all right? Oh, I'm great.

Good to meet all of you, I've
gotta move on. You're leaving?

Yeah. What's wrong, man?

Uh, what's wrong
is, uh, my ex-wife

Just threw my stash,
my drugs, into the river.

So I'm f*cking
leaving. AMY: God!

Oh, my God, I'm sorry. Levi...

AMY: Uh, please? Amy...

Amy, leave me alone and I'm
serious, okay? Leave me alone.

I'm sorry, okay?
Jesus Christ, all right!

I thought this was gonna be
a weekend without all that...

What about what I want, Amy?

Do you ever think about that,
what I want? What about that?

Well, what do you
want, to just get high?

Yeah. I do! That's
exactly what I want to do.

And the great news is, I got a guy
in town that's gonna hook me up.

Well, that's just sad. What
are you gonna do, huh?

Hike a mile to the car?

I'm gonna call a cab.

Well, I'm coming with
you. Yes. No, you're not.

I'm coming with you. No, all right,
you know what I'm gonna do in town?

I'm gonna score, and
then I'm gonna get lit.

So if you're okay
with that, come along.

I don't care. Yes,
okay, I did this.

Just gi... Can you just let me
get our stuff, a couple seconds?

Go!

Hurry!

AMY: Gonna go get
some drugs for him.

LEVI: It's a good motel? TAXI
DRIVER: Yeah, it's a good motel.

LEVI: Okay, man. Gotcha. See ya.

AMY: Thanks.

AMY: Can you... Thank you.

AMY: I got it.
LEVI: I'll get it.

(ELECTRICITY ZAPS)

(CAR DOOR OPENS)

LEVI: Right on time. How's
it going? Good to see you.

LEVI: So, uh... Hundred, right?

Thanks a ton for coming
up here, I really appreciate it.

Been on the
f*cking river all day.

(SNORTING)

(CLEARS THROAT)

Ahh. Ugh.

Feel better?

Yeah. Yeah.

You want some?

Sorry, I'm just trying to be polite,
that's all. Just trying to be polite.

LEVI: That was
fun, though, up there.

I had a good time up there. That
was fun. You know? It was nice.

It was fun to, like,
be out there and like,

be in the river, and be in the water,
and kinda be out in nature. It's like...

I don't do that, I get
stuck back in town, and...

I mean, 'cause remember
we had, we had...

You know, taken that trip
back up around there, right?

(WHISPERS) Yeah. Remember that?
And that's the same trip remember like,

Frankie had like gotten that bee
caught up in his ear, remember that?

Like that bug and he kept kinda
like walking around doing that.

And we were laughing, 'cause we felt,
like, he knew that we were laughing at him.

And we had that jump off that little cliff
into the water, remember that? Like...

And it was like, we were scared doing
it, but then we got down in the water

and we were like
looking up at Frankie, and

I started trying to
talk him into doing it.

And then he came, like, sh**ting
out over the cliff, remember that?

And we were, like, laughing so
hard, 'cause when he was in the air...

It was, like, he had his
front paws, like, down low

and his hind legs, like, up in the air
and then his ears were like flying up...

And we started laughing so hard,
we thought we were gonna sink.

That was really funny.
He was a great dog.

LEVI: Such a good
dog. (WHISPERS) Yeah.

Pound dog, you know, of course.

How old would we
have been back then?

You remember?

Twenty-seven?

Twenty-seven, wow, 27?

Twenty-seven. Twenty-seven?

Yeah? Man, that was fun.

(SNORTS)

Hey.

(SWALLOWS) Wanna f*ck?

(AMY SIGHS)

You're lucky. You barely
have any wrinkles on your hand.

(LAUGHS) Yeah.

I'm very, very lucky.

(INDIE ROCK PLAYING)

Well, I got you
here in one piece.

So, Amy, I need
you to do me a favor.

Don't try to save me, okay?

Why?

Amy, I can see the
way you see me.

And it... f*ck.

And it makes me feel like sh*t.

It's just... It's just
the drugs, Levi.

No, it's not.

'Cause when I'm sober,

it's all so much worse.

And when I'm
high, there are times

when I... I
actually don't think.

About any of it.

(SIGHS)

And I need those times.

Okay?

(CAR DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)

(WHISPERS) sh*t.

(CAR STARTS)

AMY: You can try to
escape the story of your life.

But you can't.

It happened.

The baby died. The dog died.

A heart broke.

I knew you when you were young.

I know your heart broke, too.

I will know you
when we are both old.

And maybe wise.

I hope wise.

I know you now. Your story.

Mine isn't the one I would
have chosen in the beginning.

But I'll take it.

It is my story.

It's only mine.

And it's not over.

There's time.

There is time.

There's so much time.

(UPBEAT FOLK SONG PLAYS)