01x08 - The Trail of the Dead

[bunniefuu]

[caws]

[honks]

This place is so spooky,

I could pee my pants.

- Uh, I hate to

break this to you,

but you're not wearing pants.

- Oh!

Why didn't anyone tell me?

- Are we certain this

unearthly trail of the dead

is the right way, Max?

Sorry, Kev.

The dagger's leading us

straight into Spookyville.

- Very well.

But I do hope we emerge soon.

These woods are

terribly unnerving.

I kind of like it.

- [both gasp]

- What? It's atmospheric.

Anything could be

lurking in the darkness,

watching us, waiting to strike!

- Ooh!

- Egad!

Not helping!

- Let's think positive,

Midknights.

I'm sure there's nothing

out there.

[snarls]

[upbeat music]

- Lotta people tellin' me

what I should be ♪

But I wanna make

my own destiny ♪

- [growls]

- Got a feelin' ♪

That it might be time

for me ♪

- To find my own way ♪

- [grunts]

- 'Cause I can feel it

in my heart ♪

It takes a lot to be brave,

but just a little to start ♪

Let's go take

a million chances ♪

Let's go change

our circumstances ♪

I'm gonna write

my own story ♪

And the hero is me ♪

- Huh?

- What is it?

- It's--

Kevyn, do you recognize

this symbol?

- Ah!

Great lands of Byjovia!

I believe this to be

the very pin

once worn by the leader of

King Conrad's Royal Guard,

- Sir Gadabout.

- Cool name.

Who's Sir Gadabout?

- Only the bravest knight

to ever serve Byjovia!

He was loyal to the king

and beloved by the people.

- Ahem, allow me to expand

on that, musically!

- Oh, we're stopping

for a song.

- There once was a knight

so brave, you won't believe ♪

As fearless and peerless

as a human man can be ♪

As you can see,

he's as kind as he is strong ♪

He's righting

all the wrongs ♪

That's why we sing

this song ♪

all: Sir Gadabout ♪

Sir Gadabout ♪

Don't be afraid,

just make way ♪

See what the fuss is about ♪

Sir Gadabout,

S-s-sir Gadabout ♪

He's got a hold of ya,

Byjovia ♪

Don't ya ever doubt

he's got it ♪

Only a knight

so noble and so true ♪

could wow us

with his prowess ♪

He's got rave reviews ♪

You know it's true,

he's valorous and brave ♪

- Don't forget good looking ♪

- Oh, now you behave ♪

all: S-s-sir Gadabout,

Sir Gadabout ♪

- So heroic ♪

- Strong and stoic ♪

all: Nothing bad about

Sir Gadabout ♪

S-s-sir Gadabout ♪

Whatever's burning,

he's yearning to help you out ♪

He's got it ♪

together: Poise, grace,

courage untold ♪

- Don't forget

that heart of gold ♪

all: Sir Gadabout,

so much we're glad about ♪

With him around,

we never frown ♪

We just want to shout ♪

Sir Gadabout,

S-s-sir Gadabout ♪

Nothing to be sad about ♪

with this hero

we're glad about ♪

Oh, we're just mad about ♪

The one and only ♪

- Sir Gadabout ♪

Good song.

- When I slay that dragon,

rescue King Conrad,

and fulfill the prophecy,

Sir Gadabout is exactly

the kind of knight

I want to be.

- Well, that was

a nice distraction

from our cursed surroundings.

- Yeah.

Let's find a place to camp.

- It's too dark to

keep walking the trail.

It'll be safer come morning.

- Took the words

right out of my mouth.

[phone ringing]

[magical crackling]

Hmph.

So this is Shady Acres.

[toilet flushes]

Hmm?

- [pants zip]

- [farts]

What a dump.

Ah, Doris. I give up.

I will never figure out

who this Fendra is

or what chicanery

she's plotting.

I'm a washed-up wizard.

- Oh, I'm yesterday's cheese!

- [bleats]

- But there is nothing

to go on.

I've got more questions

than answers.

Who is Fendra? Where is Fendra?

What is her favorite

flavor gelato? Ah!

What does she even look like?

[door crashes open]

[bleats questioningly]

- Ah, yes. She probably looks

exactly like that and--

[gasps]

Well, well, well, Mumbling.

Here you are, at last.

- Um--

[clears throat]

Fendra, I presume?

- [scoffs]

You presume?

- Run, Doris!

- [bleats]

Run! [grunts]

[cackles]

[bleats]

[bleating grunt]

- No!

- [cackles]

Quiet, you fool.

Now, answer me this.

Where is he?

Uh, where is who?

[frustrated groan]

[Midknights snoring]

[earth rumbling]

[muffled exclamations]

[sleepy mumbling]

[muffled shouts]

[rumbling]

- Huh?

- [snarling]

Creepy.

[loud rumbling]

[yelps]

[snarling]

Ah! Everyone, wake up!

Zombies!

- Ah!

- [shouts]

[squawks]

[dramatic spooky music]

♪

[Midknights screaming]

- [snarls]

[screaming]

♪

[panting]

What do we do?

- I know!

What if I turn us invisible?

Yah!

[all gasp]

♪

Oops.

Run!

[zombies grunting]

Up there. There's a cave!

[snarling]

Quick!

Rah! Ah!

♪

[grunting]

[snarling]

[thud]

Ah!

[zombies snarling]

- Oh! I think

we're safe up here.

[raspy moaning]

[Midknights scream]

Get back!

[sobs]

You have to help me!

Egad!

This seems impossible but

I believe this is Sir Gadabout!

Wait, him? This guy?

- This one, right here?

- It can't be!

- The lad is right.

I am Sir Gadabout.

Or at least I used to be.

[sobs]

That's Sir Gadabout?

Yeesh!

What happened to him?

[zombies growling]

You sure we're safe up here?

We should be.

Every night, they roam.

But they return to their graves

come dawn's first light.

Oh, well, that's great.

So we just have to

wait out the night

so we don't get eaten

by zombies!

- Or b-b-become one.

- Become one?

- Sir Gadabout,

I have so much to ask you.

First, what happened

that fateful day

when you rode out to slay

the dragon with King Conrad?

- Yeah, and why are you

an empty shell

of the man you used to be?

- Mm!

- Ah!

Uh

- What?

You were all thinking it.

[breathes deeply]

It's true.

My men and I set out that day

led by King Conrad.

When we arrived, there was

no dragon to be found.

It was a trap

laid by a sorceress

who lives deep within

these woods.

[magic crackles]

[cackles]

King Conrad. King Conrad!

[cackles]

You don't scare me!

We'll soon see about that.

Pull the courage

from this knight,

leave a man who cannot fight.

Seize from him his very might.

Bottle up this hero's light!

[screams]

[cackles]

- I should have slain her

to protect King Conrad.

But without my courage,

I couldn't.

And then suddenly, there was

this great flash of light.

[high-pitched ringing]

[muffled heartbeat]

[grunts]

When we awoke,

night had fallen.

The sorceress was gone.

The king was gone.

And then

they came!

[zombies snarling]

[screams]

- [chomps]

- It bit me!

One of those nasty things

bit me!

Sir Rowan!

- [bones cracking]

- [pained grunting]

[growls]

[terrified scream]

Help! Help!

[earth rumbling]

And II did nothing.

I hid in the shadows

as my men fell and

joined the army of the undead.

[dramatic music]

♪

Egad!

- Wow, that is, uh--

So sad.

It wasn't your fault.

That sorceress stole

your courage.

Um, excuse me?

If the zombies

only come at night,

why haven't you made

your escape during the day?

I'm too afraid.

And even if I could leave,

I-I can't ever show my face

in Byjovia again.

Because of me,

King Conrad is dead.

No! King Conrad's alive!

[gasps] What?

- Yep.

We're on a quest to find him.

- And this enchanted dagger

is leading the way.

- [gasps]

The king's royal blade!

How did you get this?

That's kind of a long story.

Well, we do have all night.

- This is your last chance,

you fool.

Where is Conrad?

- I really have no idea

what you're talking about.

Lies! You're up to something.

I have felt it in the air ever

since I sensed your return.

- Well, I sensed you, too,

you know.

- I know.

I sensed you sensing me.

- Well, I sensed you sensing me

sensing you--

- Enough!

- [cries out]

- If you refuse to tell me

what is on your mind,

I'll just go inside

and see for myself!

[grunting]

- This man is meek,

his mind is weak.

Show me the memories

that I seek!

- Who said that?

What? No, not this!

- Oh, pidgies, eat up.

- [bleats]

- Oh, Doris!

[grunts]

- Hello, Lenny.

Yay, more pudding!

[frustrated shout]

- Go fish!

- Oh!

- [bleating laughter]

- Ugh, no!

No, no, no!

- Your fly is down.

- Oh, this is going to be

a long night.

[zombies groaning and snarling]

Oh, what a lamentable sight.

Byjovia's most noble men

reduced to hunting for people

on whom to feast.

- I wonder what human flesh

tastes like.

[sniffs]

Mmm, probably like chicken.

- [whimpers]

- [chuckles]

- What was it like,

being a knight,

leading the King's Guard?

Was it awesome?

I bet it was awesome.

It was an honor.

Serving the people,

fighting for what's right.

The songs weren't so bad,

either.

- Oh, that reminds me,

we found this.

[gasps]

Keep it. I'm no longer fit

to wear that pin.

Look what became of my men

because of me.

A knight should not lead

his friends into danger.

- I say, that chap is getting

a bit too close for comfort.

- [growls]

- [screams]

Don't worry, I got this.

One giant wall of spikes

coming up.

Millie, what did you do?

- Agh!

Wanda, what did you do?

Max, help!

[both gasp]

- [snarling]

- Rah!

[groaning]

We have to get out of here.

It's not safe now.

Come on!

Sir Gadabout, let's go!

I can't!

- Just close your eyes

and take my hand.

[adventurous music]

[whimpering scream]

♪

- [zombies snarling]

- Ah!

[rapid breathing] Ah!

[screams]

[zombies growling]

- Wait!

Where are Simon and Millie?

Whoa! Ah!

- OK, I know my magic's been

a little hit-or-miss, but--

- What? No.

It's been basically all miss.

Until now!

No. No more magic.

There's got to be another way.

[zombies groaning]

Correction,

there isn't another way!

[both whimpering]

[screams]

- We have to find

Millie and Simon.

- I can't.

The mere sight of the zombies

leaves me paralyzed with fear.

- Any idea?

- I have a novel suggestion.

- Big step.

Good.

Oh, little to the left.

OK.

Oh, careful!

[skull crunches] - [gasps] What

was that?

- [hushed] Nothing, nothing!

Just apine cone.

- A p-p-p-pine cone?

- OK, forward!

[skulls crunching]

Careful.

There's anotherpine cone.

And another. And another.

Ah! Abrupt stop. Abrupt stop!

[grunts, panting]

[zombies groaning]

- We're too late.

- Millie and Simon are zombies.

No! Ugh, this is all my fault!

I led you all into danger.

Max, look closer.

They're faking it.

- That's not blood.

It's berry juice.

[imitates bird calls]

- [zombies grunting]

- Hoo-hoo!

Oh, Simon, Millie!

How did you do that?

- Yeah, well,

we learned a trick or two

living on the streets

in Byjovia.

- Yeah. We used to play a game

to blend in called--

both: "One of us."

[suspenseful music]

♪

[snorting]

both:

[quietly] One of us!

♪

both: One of us.

[both snicker]

[zombies grumbling]

both: One of us.

[both grunting]

[high-five]

- It's a Simon-Millie classic.

- Wait!

- [gasps]

[zombie groaning]

[whimpering]

[screams]

[roars]

[zombies roar loudly]

Not again!

[honking]

Pud, pud, pud, pudding ♪

- Oh, I love this commercial!

[shrieks]

Where are your memories

of Byjovia? Of Conrad?

- This blade shall point to

King Conrad.

- Finally.

[cackles]

You weren't so useless

after all.

Now all I need to do

is slaughter those brats,

steal that dagger,

and Conrad will be mine!

No. You can't.

Uh, yes, actually, I can.

But first, I'm going to get you

out of my way

once and for all!

[growls]

[screams]

- [gasps]

- [bleats passively]

- [honking]

- [rapid panting]

[zombies snarling]

[honks]

[honks] Stay away from

my giblets, you maniacs!

- We can't hold them off

like this all night!

Maybe we don't have to.

You said these things sleep

during the day, right?

What if we make them think

that the sun is rising?

- H-h-how?

- Millie's sign,

that was super bright.

- That could do it.

There! Come on!

[dramatic music]

♪

We've got to turn it around.

♪

[all grunting]

[earth rumbling]

[zombies yawning]

Oh, that was extraordinary!

You kids certainly have guts.

- [snarls]

- [whimpers]

Sir Rowan!

I beg you, please forgive me.

I couldn't save you

from this fate.

Hey, look at the light.

Look at the light!

[snarls, yawns]

[rumbling]

It worked.

- Simon, your plan was both

brilliant and successful.

Yeah, they're all gone!

[magical pulsing]

[whimpers]

[grunts]

- You thinking

what I'm thinking?

Yeah.

Listen up, Midknights,

change of plans.

We're going to rescue

King Conrad,

but first, we've got to find

that sorceress

and get Sir Gadabout's

courage back.

You said the sorceress lives

somewhere in these woods,

right?

- Yes, but it's too dangerous.

I-I-I can't.

- You're coming with us

and that's final.

Uncle Budrick,

could you do the honors?

- On it!

[honks]

- Good. Then let's move out,

Midknights.

Huh. Whoa! Oh!

Left. No, left!

Your other left!

[yelps]

You're going the wrong way.

Don't make me stop this human.

- Oh, the portal

is completely broken!

How can I warn Max

and the others

that Fendra is

coming after them?

Oh, my.

Doris, they're doomed.

[bleats sadly]

♪

all: S-s-sir Gadabout ♪

So much we're glad about ♪

With him around,

we never frown ♪

We just want to shout ♪

Sir Gadabout,

S-s-sir Gadabout ♪

Nothing to be sad about ♪

with this hero

we're glad about ♪

Oh, we're just mad about ♪

The one and only ♪

- Sir Gadabout ♪

[slime slurping]

[exciting beat]