01x03 - A Midknight Run

[bunniefuu]

- A farmer did venture

to market one day ♪

Hoping to sell

his prize pig ♪

Its tail, it was curly ♪

Its nose, it was pink ♪

And its talent ♪

[gasps]

[goblet clatters]

Bleh. No!

I've tired

of your terrible singing.

If that's all you're good for

then I'll just have

to have you ex*cuted.

Now that would be entertaining.

- Oh, but Your Majesty,

there are so many ways

I can entertain you!

- Oh, but there are so many

ways I can have you ex*cuted.

- I could make balloon animals.

- I could have you beheaded.

Interpretive dancing?

- Uh, public hanging!

- Sword swallowing!

- Bury you alive.

- Fire breathing.

- Disemboweling!

- Impersonations.

- Drowning.

- Beat-boxing.

- Impaling.

both: Slam poetry.

- Poisoning.

- Making origami.

- Crushed by a boar.

- A one-man kick line.

- Launched out of a cannon.

- Enough!

You are going

to keep me entertained

with something other than

singing, and that is final!

- Fine, but if I can't keep you

entertained,

you'll just have to execute me.

- [sighs] Well, fine.

If I have to.

- [gasps]

Wait, my bad--

[upbeat music]

- Lotta people tellin' me

what I should be ♪

But I wanna make

my own destiny ♪

- [growls]

- Got a feelin' ♪

That it might be time

for me ♪

- To find my own way ♪

- [grunts]

- 'Cause I can feel it

in my heart ♪

It takes a lot to be brave,

but just a little to start ♪

Let's go take

a million chances ♪

Let's go change

our circumstances ♪

I'm gonna write

my own story ♪

And the hero is me ♪

[gentle medieval music]

♪

Midknights, I present

King Gastley's castle.

- - [bleats]

- An imposing edifice that,

in all of its history,

has never once been breached.

Until now.

Rescuing Uncle Budrick

isn't going to be easy.

The bad news is, this place

is a fortress.

Not only is it manned

by armed guards,

we've got the moat,

a drawbridge,

and the main gate to deal with.

Waiting for the good news.

We have a wizard.

Yeah! With Mumblin by our side,

there's nothing we can't do.

We could just walk right up

to the castle,

and once we're in position,

Mumblin will freeze time!

Then, with a single flick

of his wand,

he'll smash open the gate,

fly us across the moat.

and then we'll find

Uncle Budrick,

rescue him,

and blow the place sky-high!

Ka-boom!

Magic expl*si*n!

Oh, I'm melting! No, I'm melt--

- Uhh.

- What?

- Wow.

- Absolutely gruesome.

- Just painting word pictures.

- Yeah.

Well, as much as I'd like

to blow up Gastley's castle,

I think our first step

should be reconnaissance.

We need to know everything

there is to know

about the castle,

the rotation of the guards,

everyone who goes in and out,

how the drawbridge

and gate work.

There's a system of levers

that control the drawbridge

and the gate.

But the entire contraption

is inside the castle and thus,

beyond our reach.

- We need to know

if the castle has a weakness,

a time when

it's least defended.

Simon?

- The fewest guards

are on duty at midnight,

two in the parapet

and one on the ground, here.

Then that's when we strike.

But we'll need

to distract the guards,

get them

to abandon their posts.

Leave that to me.

I'm cooking up

something special.

Yum! Rat jerky, my favorite!

- Ah-ah, I believe these ones

are just for the guards?

Exactly.

I'll make sure

the night-shift guards

have a belly full of this.

Just don't expect

their bellies to stay full

[stomach gurgles]

If you catch my drift.

all: Oh!

- Wait, no, I-I don't get it.

We're gonna make them sick.

- Ohh!

[laughs]

- Okay, so Alice will

take care of the guards.

Mumblin, can you get us

inside the castle?

- [snoring]

Who ate my special pudding?

Mumblin! Hello?

We're planning

a jailbreak here!

- Baa!

- [blubbers] What now?

- Do you think

you can use magic

to lower the bridge

and open the gate?

- Well, I can

probably manage that.

- And what about finding

Uncle Budrick

once we're inside?

- Good point.

We know he's being kept

in the dungeon,

but we don't exactly know

how to get there.

Don't suppose you have a map

of the inside

of the castle too?

Just this one, I'm afraid.

- Hey!

- [gasps] Wait a minute!

Mumblin, you were

the Royal Magician!

You must know your way

around the castle, right?

- I was, yes,

but for some reason,

my memory is fuzzier

than a bunny's backside.

It's okay, Mumblin.

We just need

to find someone else

who's been in the dungeon,

someone who isn't,

you know, dead.

[gasps] I know just the chap!

- And at the bottom

of the stairwell--

- exactly--round the corner

- Mm-hmm.

- You'll find the entrance

to the dungeon.

- All right,

so something like this?

That's it!

Say, what exactly do you kids

need a map

to the dungeon for anyhow?

- Oh, we're gonna break in

and rescue my Uncle Budrick.

Thanks to you,

getting to the dungeon

will be easy.

- Getting to the dungeon

isn't the hard part.

It's getting your hands on

the key that should worry you.

There's only one key

to the dungeon,

and it's held at all times

by the Royal Executioner.

[dark rock music]

[gulps]

♪

Keep that thing sharpened.

I think you're going

to need it again rather soon.

- There's one more problem,

that thing in the moat.

[wails]

[screaming]

I fervently hope it doesn't try

to eat me again.

- That's it, Kevyn!

The creature is hungry, so all

we have to do is feed it.

Great idea.

But feed it what?

- Baa!

- Huh.

- [gasps]

- Hmm.

- Huh.

- [whines]

Oh, right. The sheep.

Yeah, I was totally looking

at the sheep too.

- Think about it.

We use the sheep as bait.

And when the moat monster goes

for it, we can sneak on by.

- Hold on!

We cannot sacrifice Doris!

friends: Doris?

I may have named her.

[bleats sweetly]

I'm sorry, Simon,

but Uncle Budrick doesn't

have much time

and this might be

the only chance we've got.

I have to get him out of there.

- Wait a minute.

You're all okay with this?

Feeding an innocent sheep

to a-a monster?

Circle of life, my friend!

- We'll do whatever we have to.

[grunts]

- Okay, g*ng,

then it's settled.

We strike at midnight.

What? You're telling me

you've never had lamb chops?

[bleats sadly]

[light jovial music]

- [grunts]

Ah?

- Aha!

- Hmm.

- Ha ha!

- Seen it before!

- Ta-da.

[chuckles]

Sock puppets?

Sock puppets!

[all gulp]

I love sock puppets.

[sighs]

- Nanny would do sock puppets

for me

when I was but a little prince

in royal diapers.

Oh, Nanny!

Whatever happened to her?

Oh, right, I had her beheaded.

Well, what are you waiting for?

[soft orchestral music]

Henrietta was a simple sock

from a simple town.

[high-pitched voice]

I'm just a simple sock

from a simple town.

[normal voice]

Edmund was a noble prince.

[low voice]

I'm a princely sort,

too good for a town like this.

But wait, who is

that beautiful milkmaid I see?

Hmm.

- [high-pitched voice]

Who is that devilishly handsome

yet troubled prince?

I can fix him!

[both crunching]

Oi, Barley.

You ever wonder what

those little lights are

up in the sky?

[chewing] Hmm.

- No, Bean.

- Yeah, me neither.

[burps]

Oh, well, excuse you.

[chewing]

- Okay, any idea

on the timeline

for Operation Make-'Em-Sick?

- [stomach rumbling]

- Should be any minute now.

[groans, farts]

[gasps] Wait, look!

[vomiting violently]

[farts]

[both gag]

[vomiting]

[gags, spits]

- Oh, no, don't,

'cause if you go,

then I'm gonna--

[vomits]

[groaning]

What is happen--

- Your mom is

seriously awesome.

[whispers] I know.

Psst!

[suspenseful music]

♪

- Is the bait in place?

- Um. Sort of.

Simon, what is that?

- I'm sorry, Max,

I just couldn't

let something happen to Doris.

- And you thought

that bloodthirsty tentacle

would be hungry

for cauliflower?

Not just cauliflower, okay.

It's a vegetable medley.

I added potatoes, asparagus,

broccoli, brussels sprouts,

- a little bit of--

- Shh! It's working.

[rumbling]

[roars]

♪

[sniffing]

- Ah, knew I should have added

more salt.

Seasoning, Simon. Seasonings.

Everyone get down.

[upbeat rock music]

- Phew, feeling

much better now.

Huh? How did that get there?

- [roars]

- Oh, no!

[vomiting]

- Well, look at that.

It worked.

Let's move, Midknights.

[all panting]

Ready, Mumblin? You're up.

- Oh. I've got this.

I've got this.

Wing of bat and hair of witch,

pull the lever

to lower this bridge!

- "Witch" and "bridge" make

for a rather clunky rhyme.

Yah! Ha ha!

- Keep going, Mumblin!

You got this!

[gasping]

[groans]

Whew. There.

Oh, right, the gate.

[adventurous music]

[groans]

This castle we must infiltrate,

now pull the lever

that opens the gate.

[grunting]

[squeals, laughs]

- Aww. Pff.

- Hurry, Mumblin!

The guards

could come back any second.

[guards vomiting]

- Barley, if I don't make it

[farts]

I just want you to know, I--

[stomach gurgles]

[moans]

- What did you say--

- [retches furiously]

[straining]

Come on, Mumblin!

We didn't pluck you out

of retirement

for you to get punked

by a hunk of metal.

- [shivers] Anyone have

a weird tingly feeling?

Mm. How curious.

Those gargoyles aren't

on this map.

What gargoyles?

- [roars]

- Aah!

[all panting]

[dramatic music]

♪

[all scream]

[bellows]

- Oh, my.

- [gasps]

- Enchanted gargoyles.

This--this is dark magic.

Dark magic?

- Warthog's tooth

and dragon's flame,

send them back

from whence they came!

Uh-oh.

- Dad!

- Uh, nobody panic.

[gargoyles growling]

♪

[Midknights whimpering]

Okay, maybe we panic.

- [screeches]

- Aah!

[screams]

Aah, aah, aah! Aah!

Boop.

Aah!

♪

Aah!

- [high-pitched voice]

Oh, Edmund.

Yes, I will marry you.

[low voice] Wonderful,

but there's something

I haven't told you, Henrietta.

I'm not really a prince.

I'm merely a lookalike

who traded places

with the true prince.

- Ugh. So obvious.

Saw it coming.

- [high-pitched voice]

Edmund, I know.

I've always known because I'm

not really a lowly milkmaid--

- Aah!

- [gasps] Max?

Max? Who's Max?

I thought Henrietta was in love

with Edmund!

This third act

is falling apart.

- [high-pitched voice] My love,

there's something else.

- Whoa!

- What was that?

Ooh, I'm a ghost.

I've been a ghost

the whole time.

[gasps] Whoa! Plot twist!

Aah!

[grunting]

[dramatic music]

Aah!

I think I got the hang of this.

[roars]

♪

[Midknights scream]

Are they gone?

Yep. Stone dead.

- [screeches]

- Aah!

Millie!

[all grunting]

- all: No!

- [screaming]

Millie!

[yelping]

- [normal voice] And they lived

happily ever after.

Boo!

Happily ever after?

What kind of soppy drivel

is this?

Yuckity, yuck, yuck, yuck!

It was a love story.

Preposterous!

That was a story

of betrayal and deceit

and the mid-life heartbreak

of settling

for less than you deserve.

Why would you spoil it

with a happy ending?

- Oh, well, if it's heartbreak

you're after,

then just wait for the sequel!

Spoiler alert: everyone dies.

Ugh, forget sequels.

They're artistically bankrupt

cash grabs

and always pale in comparison

to the original.

Executioner, off with his head

and all that.

Aah!

[suspenseful music]

- No. No, no, no,

not right now, you idiot.

It's late. If I don't get

eight hours of beauty sleep,

my mustache droops.

Do you want me

to have a droopy mustache?

Of course not, sire.

- Then take him to his cell,

and we'll off him at sunrise.

Oh, I do love an execution

before breakfast.

[laughing]

See you in the morning.

Spoiler alert: you'll be

the one missing a head.

Millie.

- I daresay no one

could survive a fall

from that height.

- She was only here because

of me.

[clanking]

[all gasp]

More gargoyles?

- No it's--

- Millie!

- Hey.

You're okay.

- Thank goodness.

- Mm!

- Now don't you ever do

that again.

How ever did you survive?

- I landed on a big bale

of hay.

I'm just lucky like that. Oh.

[sweet uplifting music]

Guys, look.

We're inside the castle.

It didn't go exactly

as planned, but hey, we did it.

- Teamwork. Aw, yeah!

- [gasps]

[chain clinking]

Egad!

- It's okay, Kevyn,

we're already in.

Baa!

[chewing]

all: Doris?

[roars]

[bleats]

- Oh, no!

She must have followed me.

We can't leave her.

But what about Uncle Budrick?

We'll save 'em both.

[upbeat music]

♪

[grunts]

Aah!

[grunting]

Oh! Oh, no.

Aah!

- We've gotta stop it!

Did you try these two?

Of course I tried those two.

[growls]

[bleats worriedly]

- [growls]

- I got it.

[wincing] Huh?

[wails]

[whimpers]

[sighs]

- It stopped.

- Well, unstop it, Kevyn!

I'm trying. I'm trying!

♪

[exclaims]

[all moaning]

- Aah!

That's the wrong direction!

I hate this bridge.

No! No!

Whoa!

Simon! Doris! Where's Max?

♪

[screeches]

Aah!

Whew.

Max, thank you.

[bleats happily]

- Aww, Doris.

- [laughs]

[peaceful music]

♪

- [gasps]

- [pants]

- Nolan? Mumblin?

What happened?

- Where are the kids?

They need help!

Fruit, man!

Hand me a pear,

a kumquat, anything!

Show me the Midknights.

- Oh, my.

- [gasps]

I don't believe it.

As I live and breathe.

- They made it.

- Yes, they're in the castle,

which means

they're on their own now.

[tense music]

♪

Oh, quickly, Bean,

we gotta get back

to our posts

before Gastley knows

we've been gone.

- Ugh.

- Yeah, righto, righto.

Ugh. Oh, do you know what?

Apparently he's gonna execute

that fool come sunrise, heh.

- Maybe they mean

some other fool?

- You mean the new one

that can't sing?

Yeah, that's the one.

Can't be mistaken

for any other fool.

[gasps]

Hang on, Uncle Budrick.

We're almost there.

[upbeat music]

[heavy rock music]

♪