01x04 - Joy to the Effing World

[bunniefuu]

("ave maria" sung by piqsiq)

♪

(helicopter whirring)

-(man) there they are!

-(all cheering)

(all) hooray!

(all cheering)

Oh! Oh!

(all exclaiming)

(all groaning)

(crowd shouting encouragement)

(man) whoa, whoa.

(woman) this is it!

Hey, don't beat yourself

up about it.

We all have bad days

at the office, right?

(all) whoa!

(crowd exclaiming worriedly)

(all) whoa!

(helen) we've been married

20 years.

You know how important

this is to me.

Oh! Right there.

Oh, yeah.

So, I scraped the gum

off 70 chairs,

I brewed coffee

for the whole office,

And this is your tea,

perfectly steeped.

Uh, not now,

I'm in a situation.

She just found out

her zoom wine club

Changed to Wednesday nights.

And that's a problem?

Wednesday night

is elders' night.

Do you know how hard it is

to get a quality malbec up here?

It's hard, really hard.

First simon had to apply

for a liquor permit,

Then he had to submit it,

I had to approve it,

Then he had to order the wine,

Find somebody in ottawa

To take the wine

to the airport,

Have it flown here,

And now, I have to drink it

all by myself.

This is bullshit.

What if I ran elders' night?

Oh! Like I could trust you

with that responsibility,

Given your track record?

Helen, I can do this, I swear.

-(sighs) I

-(siaja) come on, helen.

(helen) I, uh

(groaning)

Honey, you always said

that elders' night

Pretty much runs itself.

Yeah.

I did design it well.

Okay.

-Oh my god, really?

-Yes.

But I run a tight ship.

I love tight ships.

You have to open up,

man the coffee station,

Make sure no one

forgets their teeth.

-Easy peasy.

-Clean up, lock up, and, siaja?

No surprises,

and no open flames.

Mm-hmm.

(keys jingle)

(helen) put that thumb down.

She doesn't need encouragement.

I told you,

she needs tough love.

Yeah, get back in there.

(fast, upbeat music)

(dog barking distantly)

(traffic rumbling)

(alistair whistling)

(neevee sighs)

(low hum of chatter)

I maybe was a little mean

to you the other day.

And I might take

some of it back.

Wow.

You're really bad

at apologies.

Oh, I'm not apologizing.

Case in point.

Just stay away from me, and we

won't have any problems, okay?

Okay, but it's a pretty

small town.

Yeah, it's my small town.

Look, I know this

whole situation is

Pretty weird,

But we're gonna keep

running into each other,

So maybe we could just try

and be a little bit more civil.

What, like, pretend

we don't know each other?

If that's what you need

to be civil, sure.

Just a couple of strangers,

you and me, huh,

Who apparently happen to have

a 27-year-old kid together.

She's 26.

You're a terrible father.

Yeah, well, maybe because

I never got the chance.

(woman) next!

Hmm.

(jazzy music)

(sizzling)

Oh, hey, mom?

Can you watch bun tonight?

I have a work thing,

and I just--

Nope.

It's just, ting's

on an overnight,

So I'd really

appreciate it if I--

Welcome to being

a single mother.

Wait, why are you

mad at me?

I'm-- I'm mad at you.

-Nah.

-(bun) ulaakut.

-Good morning, love.

-Hi, sweet tuktu.

(bun laughs)

Is it because I hung out

with alistair?

I have every right

to get to know my father.

Oh, don't be such

a drama queen.

You're not the only

half-breed without a dad.

Can you not say that?

It's dehumanizing.

God, your generation

is so sensitive.

You're a half-breed eskimo.

Get over it.

(bun) you guys sound like fluffy

and charlie when you fight.

(mocking tone)

"you're a half-breed eskimo."

Blah, blah, blah.

"gosh, get over it."

(tablet beeping)

Hey, bun.

You want to be

my assistant tonight?

(gasps) yeah!

I'll go get my glasses.

Okay!

(bun) woo-hoo!

See? Expert-level parenting.

Bannock's burning.

(scoffs)

(gasps) oh, no, no, no, no!

(laughing)

(mellow guitar music)

(yawning)

Hi, bun.

(snoring softly)

(sighs)

Kuuk?

What are you doing here?

Well, I'm here

for elders' night.

My auntie crystal, right there,

she said it would, uh,

"help wash off my city boy

stink," you know?

Yeah.

Ah, I think that's your cologne.

Hmm, I'm not wearing any.

Hmm.

You want a--

you want a grand tour?

Yeah, I'm supposed to be

doing the coffee.

-Ah.

-So, yeah,

-I do want a tour, please.

-Okay.

(both laugh)

All right, well, um,

this is where we play cards.

This is martha, josefina.

What's up, ladies?

Careful, they're sharks,

all right?

-This is where we play chess.

-Oh, I love chess.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

-We should play sometime.

-Yeah, if you like losing.

Oh, trash talk.

I like.

And this is my number one

homie, kuuk.

-Did you just say homie?

-(kuuk) mm-hmm.

This is o.G. Kuuk.

You call me your atikulu.

-Atikuluk.

-Atikulu.

Atikulu.

This is my, uh, my namesake.

-Mm-hmm.

-And this is my atikulu's, uh,

Best friend, lazarus.

He's, uh, elisapee's brother.

I know everyone in here.

-Oh.

-Yeah.

(speaking in inuktitut)

Oh, he doesn't know you.

Um, uh

(speaking inuktitut)

Hmm.

(speaking in inuktitut)

Uh, I can't speak

inuktitut very well.

(speaking in inuktitut)

I'm-- I'm sorry.

(elder kuuk) it's okay.

Your mother. Anaana.

It was hard at times

when you were a little girl.

But now she's sober,

Doing better,

Got a store going,

and helping everyone.

(speaking in inuktitut)

-Too much baking powder.

-Yuck!

And hard,

and a little bit burnt.

Yeah. (gasps)

-(gags)

-(siaja) sorry.

Next time, I know you

can make a better one.

(speaking in inuktitut)

-Keep trying.

-Yeah. Yeah.

(bell on door chiming)

(low hum of chatter)

(suspenseful music)

(alistair) whoa.

-(sighs)

-well, excuse me, miss.

My sincere apologies.

What the hell are you

talking about?

We're strangers, remember?

Well, watch where

you're going, stranger.

(cash register beeping)

(both sighing)

(whistles)

(siaja) so, is elders' night

always this

Depressing?

(kuuk) uh, yeah,

it kinda is.

("pump up the jam" by

technotronic playing on walkman)

Bun, you're going

to knock over an elder.

I can't hear you.

(bun singing along)

da-da-da-da.

-(clapping rhythmically)

-(speaking in inuktitut)

(bun) da-da-da-da-da-da.

She knows how to party.

This is good.

-She's getting the people going.

-(speaking in inuktitut)

(others joining in)

da-da-da-da-da-da.

-Can you braid my hair?

-(speaking in inuktitut)

Don't worry,

I don't got lice.

(speaking in inuktitut)

-Kuuk?

-Yeah?

I have an idea.

shake that body for me ♪

(colin over radio) aingai,

Welcome to the only

radio show in town.

(siaja over radio)

hey, good kids of ice cove,

The sun isn't the only thing

staying up late

This time of year.

Um, uh, yeah, you know

what else is cool?

Uh, elders' night

is on Wednesday.

Ba-ba-ba-bow!

Uh, do you feel me?

Be there, or be square.

(song playing over radio)

(laughs) what the heck

was that?

Why do you sound like

a white lady?

I don't know, I panicked.

I still don't fully get

what we're doing here.

I just, I want elders' night

to be less basic.

So you want it to be less helen,

without asking helen.

Helen is up to her

eyeballs right now in malbec,

And this is a perfect

opportunity to show

That I have initiative.

Do kids even listen

to the radio, though? I mean

Ouch.

-I'm sorry, I just--

-he makes a good point.

(kuuk) you know what?

We gotta hit the streets.

(energetic music)

(kids laughing and shouting)

(metal clanging)

♪

Whoa.

What's up, kids?

Nice throws.

What you kids

up to on Wednesday?

Are you a drug dealer?

(kids giggling)

No.

Do I-- do I look like one?

I don't know.

Um, well, me and this guy

over here,

Uh, we're trying to get some

youth out for elders' night,

And it's gonna be so much fun.

Are we getting paid?

You get the sweet gift of

spending time with your elders.

-20 bucks each.

-(siaja) what?

(boy) yeah, 20 bucks.

Well, what about, uh

Free slushies?

Kuuk, you can't just bribe her.

Okay, we'll do it.

See? All right.

But you gotta bring

your friends.

Maybe.

Two slushies?

(energetic music)

Home, please.

Ah! (sighs)

Oh, good evening, miss.

Evening, sir.

You're gonna have to take

the next cab,

Because this one's taken.

Uh, as we both know, miss,

This is the only

cab in town,

So I sure as hell

am not gettin' out.

Hotel, driver.

(intriguing music)

♪

(siaja) can I get anybody

some tea, some coffee,

Some bannock?

I made fresh stuff.

Um, cards?

I don't get it.

We brought them kids.

Why aren't they reacting

like they did with bun?

I don't know. Maybe I can

bust out the chessboard,

-And they could, like

-Oh, yeah, great,

Because that'll keep

two whole people busy.

I don't know, I'm just trying

to, you know, trying to get

Yo, this party sucks.

It's so dead. We are so out.

Wait, hold on.

(siaja)

new plan. Colin,

Tell nella to bring

her accordion.

And millie, just get

every speaker you can find.

Yes, your majesty.

Please. Thank you.

And kuuk, we need way more

sugar in those slushies.

-Oh, done.

-Okay.

Let's get this party started!

Well, I'm sorry, I didn't quite

catch what it is that you do.

I'm a forensic scientist.

I investigate mysterious

and unusual deaths

In the city of new york.

Wow, now, now, now,

that is very glamorous to me.

And you?

Me? Well, I'm a high-powered

defence lawyer, miss.

Just a cold-hearted

shark of a man.

-(chuckles)

-what?

You're too f*ck' soft

to be a shark.

I like your earrings.

(intense music building)

♪

(both breathing heavily)

So many layers.

♪

Seriously?

(cheering)

(accordion playing)

Everything. Everything.

All right, you're good?

Yep, good.

Lazarus!

Come on.

Never mind.

Who wants to play some

dice games? I got prizes!

(all cheering)

-(man 1) uh-oh.

-(man 2) here we go, here we go.

(man 1) oh, no!

(all cheering)

Take a slushie,

talk to an elder.

Take a slushie,

go talk to an elder.

Take a slushie,

go talk to an elder.

Everybody having fun?

♪

(woman speaking in inuktitut)

♪

This is gonna be

an elders' night to remember.

-(laughing)

-ahh.

-We make a good team.

-Yeah, we do.

♪

(laughter)

♪

(all) chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!

Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!

Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!

Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!

(cheering)

What on earth is going on here?

Siaja, I can hear you

all the way from wine club.

Isn't it amazing, though?

This is so much better, right?

What are all these kids

doing here?

I brought them in

for the elders.

-Elder kuuk is having a blast.

-(thudding)

-(gasping)

-oh, my god!

(hushed murmuring)

I'm sure he's just kidding.

He's such a jokester.

He's dead!

-(scattered gasps)

-(woman) like, dead-dead?

(solemn music)

(helen) oh, siaja

♪

Oh!

Why is the casket being

brought over by helicopter?

Okay, so, 23 years ago,

Helen came here as

the new town planner

And picked this site as the

new graveyard her first winter.

Little did she know,

It's surrounded

by a frozen river.

And now she hates it every time

someone dies after ice melt.

Speaking of which,

how pissed is she at you?

She says she needs time

to process her emotions.

♪

Hey.

You threw one hell of a party.

♪

(helen) siaja

I don't know what to say.

In a matter of weeks,

you have managed to

Flip off the entire town,

Set the dump on fire,

And k*ll a beloved elder.

-I was just trying to

-All you had to do

Was set up the coffee

and clean up the chairs.

Which I technically did.

(helen) well

I don't know if you know

what comes next,

But some people call it

"the helen hammer."

Not me.

I didn't make up that name.

(knocking at door)

My brother's coming in.

He's probably gonna curse you.

(exhales)

(tense music)

Lazarus, I-- I'm so sorry.

I should've known siaja

wasn't ready to

(lazarus speaking in inuktitut)

(speaking in inuktitut)

"do you know how

we inuit survived for

Thousands of years

in the arctic?"

No, I'd probably freeze to death

In two hours

out there by myself.

(speaking in inuktitut)

(millie translating quietly)

He said, "every community

needs a special person like you

To bring

the generations together."

I'll see you next week.

(gentle music)

Yes, you will.

Maybe no more slushies, okay?

(siaja) okay, fair enough.

(millie) yeah,

I think he's right.

(neevee sighs) this

Was the last time.

Neevee

Oh, I'm serious.

(alistair) yeah,

you said that yesterday.

(sighs) I don't want

siaja to find out.

Find out what?

That adults have sex?

(sighs)

we're back to strangers.

Okay?

Yeah.

This

Has been a fun week.

Have a good life.

(inquisitive music)

Anyone up for a drink?

I wanna celebrate

still having a job.

Hey, I'm down. Yeah.

Sure. It's not like I have

anything better going on.

(colin) yeah, me neither.

Well, I got a bottle. I mean,

we could go back to my hotel.

-What about alistair?

-No, he's chill. Yeah.

But only if you're--

only if you're okay with that,

If you're chill with it too?

-Yeah, I'm chill.

-All right.

Perfect. Afterparty at kuuk's.

-All right.

-(siaja) okay.

(kuuk) wait until

you try this bourbon.

It's a small batch

with prevalent notes

Of vanilla and tobacco.

-"prevalent notes"?

-Shh! He's elevating us.

Here we are. Okay.

Welcome to the chill zone.

-Oh!

-(gasps)

(alistair stammering)

-Siaja?

-Hi, guys.

(intense music)

(singing in inuktitut)