01x17 - Summer of Segundos/Summer of Breaking Bud

[bunniefuu]

[♪ opening theme music playing]

-[cat snarling]
-[dogs barking]

[singing] ♪ Hey! Another day
in my old hood ♪

♪ Summer's starting
and it's gonna be so good ♪

♪ Hey, oh, hey!
I was gonna be so cool ♪

♪ Then you all moved in
and got me looking like a fool, again ♪

[chorus] ♪ Oye, Primos ♪

♪ Why you all up in my face ♪

[chorus] ♪ Oye, Primos ♪

♪ Get up out my space ♪

[chorus] ♪ Oye, Primos ♪

♪ You're wearing out
my brain ♪

♪ You're driving me insane ♪

♪ Not the roll call again ♪

♪ Cousin Bud, Nacho and Lita ♪

♪ Tere, Tabi and Tonita ♪

♪ Scooter, Lot Lot and Gordita ♪

♪ Nachito, ChaCha and Lucita ♪

-[chorus] ♪ Yay ♪
-[Tater] ♪ No, come on ♪

[chorus] ♪ Oye, Primos ♪

[grunts in frustration]

[Serena reading]

[dogs barking]

[mumbling]

Um... you okay?

Flow state!

Ooh. Aggressive.

[mumbling continues]

[gasps] My final form.

No, wait.

You dropped something.
What is it?

Oh, it's the key to my future self.

[bell ringing]

Primo pizza time.

I... I lost it.

It's all gone.

Primo pizza time!

Primo pizza time--
[grunts]

Did you have to
interrupt me right now?

Primo Pizza Hour's family time.

You can't ditch your family, Small Fry.

But there are tons
of other primo-y things

we do together every day,

and they all interrupt
my Tater time.

-[chuckles]
-[Big Nacho] Primo TV time.

Mm.

Primo paleta time!

-Hm.
-There you are.

Come on, Small Fry.

[groans] I was about to
find the key to my final form.

I don't have time for pizza.

[stomach growling]

[chuckles]

I could go for some pizza.

I wish you could go for me.

It's not like I'm Bibi who can
just call a substitute teacher.

Idea! You want pizza,

and you need a Tater.

Serena's a highly qualified sub.

She keeps a diary like moi,

and she can look like moi.

Ha-ha! What do you say, pal?

Well, I do love some hot za.

Mm. Good.

But something's missing.

[exclaims] How about this?

[in French accent] Genius.

Eh? Huh? Huh?

Hmm. I don't know.

Hey, Big Nacho,
are we going or what?

-ChaCha is getting bite-y.
-[ChaCha growls]

Aah! Okay, fine.

Throw in the crusts, and for today only,
Serena can be your Segundo.

Oh! Segundo.
Wait. What does that mean?

What he means is doble,

which means...

-like a stand-in.
-[ChaCha growls]

Oh, yeah, bad Spanish.

-Sorry.
-Mm.

But segundos...

has such a nice ring to it.

Eh, we're going with segundos.

Go forth, Segundo Tater.

Bon voyage.

Now, back into the flow state.

[blabbering]

[gasps] There you are again.

Uh, wait up. Don't go.

[gasps]

Aha!

The key to unlocking
my final form is...

a coat of arms?

A personal branding of yore!

And of mine.

I'll create my own

to show the world
what I care about the most.

[lights buzzing]

[all] Hmm.

So, today Serena is Tater?

She's definitely not Tater.

Hey, what'll it be, fam?

The usual free waters
and pizza rejects?

Well, hey, can I use
my Quakey's card?

It's been racking up
a lot of points lately.

Hey, looks like
you got enough points

for a non-reject pizza.

-[all cheering]
-Thanks.

[Lita] Buen provecho, primos.

[all exclaiming]

Thanks for the nachos,
Segundo Tater. Oh!

Hey, Segundo Tater, put up a goal post.

Got it.

Goal!

All right, primo pals,

how about a round
of root beers on me, huh?

[all exclaiming]

[all] Salud!

[sighs] Time alone
is time well spent.

Hey, Segundo. How'd it go?

[laughs] We had a blast.

Yeah. Pretty good idea, Small Fry.

Yay! Project Segundo is a success.

Wonder if it could work a segundo time.

[laughs]

And then, Citizen Crane said...

-"Rosebird."
-"Rosebird."

Ooh, maybe this is inspiration
for my coat of arms.

-It should have--
-[Big Nacho] Cake Island time!

Cake Island time!

Assume viewing positions!

[all exclaiming]

I invoke my Segundo!

Again?

Yeah, and I already
covered for you, Tater.

I seem to remember someone
splattering crème brûlée

all over my copy of Jurassic Spark.

-Hmm?
-Fine.

Yay! Thanks. Bye!

[woman on TV] Looks like the island
is made of cake.

Who knew?

[laughs] This show is silly.

Hmm.

Ahem. I have my own research
to attend to,

hence I too recuse myself.

Oh, what, Gordita too?

See what you did, Tater!

Now, everyone's ditching family time.

Uh... booba ya bam.

That's not what she says.

Calm yourself, Big Nacho.

My Segundo is a more
than capable substitute.

Hello, primos, I am Gor-3-ta.

There is an 83% chance
that contestant is cake.

[all exclaim]

Hm, okay. But just this one time.

Huh?

[Big Nacho] Egg gathering time!

Everyone gets an egg,
everyone gets out.

Not trying to lose anyone today.

-[air horns sound]
-Boo-boo-boo-boo!

Hey, primos, Blaine's gonna be
my Segundo today.

Don't worry, the Blaine Train
is great with chicks.

I hate this guy, but trust me,
he's got great attention to detail.

Huh? Now this is getting out of control.

Just do whatever the big kid
with the tiny mustache tells you.

[growls] Okay.

This has gone too far.

And my mustache is luscious.

Oh, come on, Big Nacho,
everyone's doing it.

We can't hang out all the time.

Yeah, we have lives.

Oh! This family's falling apart!

We're still family, hermanote.

We just need some
T-Sister time,

no te preocupes.

-[bell ringing]
-[Big Nacho] Primo paleta time!

Are you seeing this, Hector?

This is just sad.

-[shivers]
-[remote beeps]

-Nature Fam. Nature Fam.
-Primo, you too?

Eh, sorry, Big Nacho.

It's not like the rest
of the primo fam is here.

[groans] I'm glad I didn't get
the flake-out gene.

[bicycle bell rings]

-[thuds]
-[squawking]

¡Espérame, hermanote!

[Tater] Unicorns always
look good on coats of arms.

But is this part of
my final form?

Hey, Lucita, what do you think about-- Oh.

Hm. They're probably all at
Primo Pizza Hour.

[gasps] Maybe I can channel
their primo energy.

Unicorns are my favorite, primo!

Unicorns are incredible.

I want something spookier.

[groans]

Nothing can beat the real thing.

I need the real deal primo power,

and I know
just where to find it.

Oh, primos!

Who missed me? Booyah buh--

What now?

What is this monstrosity?

Where are the primos?

Don't worry,
we're all licensed Segundos.

Oh, wait. I mean, uh, ChaCha.

[growling]

Uh-huh. I see.

Hey, Serena,
where are the real primos?

But, Tater,

we're all primos now.

[Tater chuckling]

Let's start over.

So, primos, I was working on
my final form and...

-[air horn sounding]
-Boo-boo-boo-boo!

What's that got to do
with the Blaine Train?

Oh, chicken wings.

ChaCha. [groans]

-ChaCha!
-Baw-caw!

[segundo ChaCha] ChaCha!

Fam fight! Fam fight!

-[air horn sounding]
-Boo-boo--

Operator error.

[growls]

[thuds]

Come back when you're the primos
I know and love.

[growls]

Did I just get
Primo Pizza Hour canceled?

No, not me.

Them.

The real primos can fix this.

Time for Primo Pizza Hour!

It's time to get the band
back together.

Ah. Greetings, Tater.

Long time, no sample.

Gordita, the Segundos are
not working out.

They're not any of you.

Will you come back...

for Primo Pizza Hour?

Hmm. I suppose.

[Cousin Bud] There you go, little buddy.

You're with your plant primos now.

Huh? Kind of reminds me of...

-We miss you, primos.
-Where ya been?

Why did you leave us?

[sighs] Memories.

-[Tater] Hey, Cousin Bud.
-Whoa.

I can even hear them calling.

'Cause we are.

Leave the hydration to H2Bro.

We're grabbing pizza.

Hmm.

We sure are low on chisme these days.
Got any news?

No, hermanita.

The tea is dried up.

[Tater] Sounds like you need a refill.

You know what goes great with chisme?
Cheese pizza!

Primos! [chuckles]

[crows cawing]

[♪ romantic music playing]

Huh?

Is this it?

Is she gonna hold my...

my...

my hand?

It's time for Primo Pizza Hour!

-[all cheering]
-Oh, yeah!

What? Right now?

But... I...

Carmela, just hold that thought.

I'll be right back.

I promise. I'll bring you back
a slice of pizza.

I gotta do family time.

Que milagro!

Now, those are the primos
I know and love.

-[all speaking indistinctly]
-Hey. Welcome back.

Who needs Segundos

when you've got the original primos?

Exactly, Lucita.

And I made something to honor
us all being here together.

I am pleased to present
our own primo coat of arms.

-This is the best!
-Great job, Tater!

Wait.

If we're all here,

what happened to the Segundos?

Ay, Qué linda sorpresa
to be visited by mis nietos!

And right as I finish
making mi sopa favorita.

What kind of soup is this, Buela?

Es de pollo. Chicken.

-[♪ dramatic music playing]
-[screams]

[Cousin Bud reading]

Please be the Giant Kangaroo
Rat Sticky Paw.

Please be the Giant Kangaroo
Rat Sticky Paw.

Ah! Oh.

Oh, yay. Another Zebra
Sticky Paw. [groans]

Out of the 151 Sticky Paws
available to collect,

I've managed to get 150.

But, alas, the Giant Kangaroo
Rat Sticky Paw still eludes me.

[groans] Must keep trying. [grunts]

Ya no más, Tater,

these toys are a waste
of time and money.

[all agreeing indistinctly]

-[muttering]
-[Cousin Bud] Tater Gator,

maybe it's time you gave up
trying to collect them all.

Never! The machine is ready to pay out.

I can feel it in my bones.

I just need one more quarter.
One more crank!

Hey!

That's my college savings!

Sorry, prima,

but I can't let you fall
for this scam.

I know that look in your eye.

The greed, the power,

the hunger of wanting
all the Sticky Paws.

Trust me, I've been there before.

I used to own all the Sticky Paws

and more.

It was one of my business ventures
back when I was known not as Cousin Bud,

but as Cousin Buck.

[computer beeps]

Oh, yeah!

-I was at the top of my game...
-All right!

...and hooked on the rush of the trade,

and Sticky Paws.

-Until eventually...
-[exclaims]

...I started caring more

about the green in my back pocket

than the green in my backyard.

I hung up my man bun when I realized

I was neglecting my Nature Fam.

I wasn't myself back then.

I learned even if you collect them all,

it will not bring you true happiness.

That's a great story.

Four out of five stars.

But I can't give up now.

Not when I'm so close.

Zebra! [groans]

That was just a practice one.

One more. One more quarter!

Tater, if I get you the Giant Kangaroo
Rat Sticky Paw,

will you stop wasting
your college savings?

Yes! Yes!
One bazillion times, yes!

Okay, but you gotta promise me, Tater.

Primo Promise you'll stop me...

if I go too far.

Yeah, yeah. Primo Promise.

Avert your eyes.

-[thunder rumbles]
-[growls]

[growls]

Ah!

Not the sock, man!

[thunder rumbles]

[Cousin Bud groaning]

Crypto!

Roth! Roth!

-401K!
-[thunder rumbles]

The buck starts here, baby.

That was incredible.

Can I come with you guys?

[chuckles] Sure, kid.

Just try not to get in my way.

Alex the trade rex,

-a trade?
-[groans]

How do I know I can trust you?

This should do.

Welcome back to the grind,
Cousin Buck.

We need info.

Who's your Sticky Paws supplier?

-We're hunting for--
-The Giant Kangaroo Rat?

-Forget it.
-Come on.

Everything has its price.

Hmm.

Okay. Quakey's gets its Sticky Paws
from Hector El Paletero.

He'll be waiting for you.

Pleasure doing business with ya.

The buck starts here, baby.

Hehe. [chuckles]

Hector the Paw collector,

a trade?

Who's your supplier?

[exclaims, screams]

Blaine the debt bane, a trade?

[exclaims] Psst. Supplier?

Here you go, man.

Sticky Paws going to...

Garage Possum, the-- um...

Uh...

A trade?

[Tater gasps] There it is.

The Giant Kangaroo Rat Sticky Paw!

Oh, beautiful!

Well, possum, what will it be?

The marsupial drives a hard bargain,

but can you resist my fresh compost?

[exclaims in excitement]

[gasps, laughs]

We did it! We finally did it!

With this last Sticky Paw,

now I have the whole complete collection.

-[both groan]
-[both] Huh?

[Tater] There's 100
new Sticky Paws? [gasps]

Your collection is not complete

until you buy all 251. [sighs]

There's even a new
limited edition Capybara Paw!

[growls]

-Oh, no!
-[Tater] No!

Cousin Bud was right. [sighs]

Collecting them all won't make me happy.

College savings safe again.

-[Cousin Bud] Hey, Tater.
-[gasps]

Ready to collect them all,

-T-Money?
-[thunder rumbles]

But I thought you said
Sticky Paws are a scam.

-To a regular Nachito, they're a scam.
-[groans]

But together, we can game the system.

We'll be like Robin Hood,

taking from the Sticky Paw rich

and giving them to the poor primos.

Besides,

don't you want that Capybara Sticky Paw?

Hmm?

Mm.

[mumbles] Yes!

One bazillion times, yes!

Then, the buck starts here, baby!

A, B, T, S, P.

Always Be Trading Sticky Paws.

Trade with your friends,
your mom, your possums,

and here's what you say.

My name is Tater
Ramirez Humphrey,

and I plan on being
the top Sticky Paw trader

in my firm.

You can trust me.

I'll trade you ten zebras
for your capybara.

Five wolves for your giant kangaroo rat.

I... Uh... Please trade with me.

I really need a trade.

ChaCha.

D, C, A, A, B, Y.

Don't Care About Anyone
But Yourself.

[chuckles]

Hector, the Paw collector. Trade?

-Yay!
-[laughs]

Roth! Roth! 401K!

[howls]

T, W, P, I, A, R, E.

The Worst Performer Is A Rotten Egg.

[blabbering, blows raspberry]

How does he do it?

Yes. Hello? Are you still there?

I don't want to be a rotten egg.

[Cousin Bud laughs evilly]

[continues laughing]

[grunts, groans]

Huh?

I told you not to get in my way.

Oh, no. Nachito, are you okay?

I don't think he likes me anymore.

[indistinct chatter]

[Tater] W, H, P, H.

Work Hard, Play Hard.

-Yay!
-[laughs]

Whoo-hoo!

-Yay!
-[exclaims]

ChaCha! ChaCha! [laughs]

-Chug, chug, chug, chug...
-[laughs]

...chug, chug, chug!

[all exclaiming]

[all exclaiming]

[Cousin Bud laughs]

All right, Money Fam, settle down.

We're here to celebrate T-Money,

my right hand,

my right Sticky Paw,

who today joins
the man bun siblinghood.

[all] Man bun! Man bun! Man bun!

-[laughs]
-[Cousin Bud] Here.

Your very own fuzzy vest, socks,

and a Sticky Paw to tie
your hair into a man bun.

My own man bun? I don't know if--

Raise your paletas to Tater,

the Sticky Paw Player!

[all] To Tater! Hurrah!

[boy] Yeah!

[exclaiming]

Hm? Put that paleta down!

[exclaiming in fear]

Paletas are for closers only.

[groans]

That's not fair.
You're being mean to Nachito.

-Here, Nachito, you can have my paleta.
-[Cousin Bud] No!

[all exclaim]

Nachito can't have any!

That's not nice.

-Nachito, you can have ours.
-[all speaking indistinctly]

You can have as many
as you want.

[grunting, bones cracking]

[Cousin Bud groans]

It's not very cash money of you

to work together like this.

[all groaning]

[♪ dramatic music playing]

-[Cousin Bud grunts]
-[all groan]

I don't like this game anymore.

[Cousin Bud] That's the difference
between you and I.

Sticky Paws are not a game for me.

[screams]

They're my life!

-I am Sticky Paws!
-[all gasp]

-Cousin Bud?
-Cousin Bud?

No, that's not Cousin Bud,
that's a monster!

-[Cousin Bud growls]
-[Tater] The man bun is in control.

You may have corrupted Cousin Bud,

but you haven't corrupted me.

I know what I must do.

Oh, boy, me!

I have so much money!

$17 and a few pesos,

and I don't know what to do with it.

I was saving it for college,

but maybe I should invest in Sticky Paws.

[evil laugh]

[groans, growls]

[roars]

-Aah! Aah!
-[screams]

[Nachito] Cousin Bud,

your favorite cactus is struggling.

-Huh?
-It needs your care.

Huh? My Nature Fam?

[man bun growling]

No! The only green I care about is money.

Aah! [growls]

I'm bringing these plantas inside.

No!

They're outdoor plants, man.

Should I donate my money
to a charitable cause?

[Cousin Bud growls]

[growling]

Tater, now! Go for it!

[groans] No! No!

[Tater screams]

[grunting]

[Cousin Bud screaming]

[Cousin Bud groaning]

Cousin Bud, we missed you!

And your Nature Fam missed you, too.

Li'l cactus fam.

Oh, what have I done?

Ouch.

Tater, Nature Fam,

Nachito.

I'm so sorry, everyone.

No, I'm sorry, Cousin Bud.

If I had listened to you
in the first place

and stopped caring about
the Sticky Paws scam,

this would've never happened.

Primo hug?

Primo hug.

-[all exclaim]
-Yeah.

I Primo Promise

to never wear a man bun again, man.

Cousin Buck is gone.

Forever.

Oigan, chamacos.

A Fresadena prince
is going to make us rich

if I send him all our life savings.

[laughs]

-[all gasp]
-Oh, no!

Buela's about to fall for a scam.

[straining]

[narrator] Will Cousin Bud
become Cousin Buck again?

Stay tuned!

[♪ closing theme music playing]