-[chaotic chatter]
-[phone notifications]
[♪ tense music playing]
[reporter 1] Schools across the
country have beefed up security
following a series
of viral TikTok posts.
[reporter 2] The threat labeled
"National sh**t Up Your School Day"
reportedly calls on students
to commit acts of violence.
[reporter 3] Concern over
what can start on social media
can then turn out to be real.
[Jonathan] There's always that
thing in the back of your mind, like,
"What if this is true?"
"What if it happens at Pali?"
And the amount of mass shootings
that happen per year, I think,
this past year alone
was, like, 400-something.
It's like, "Oh, here's
another school sh**ting."
It's become so normal.
I was driving to school
with my dad and I
decided to check my Snapchat
while we were at a red light,
and I see someone posted
something about, like,
how there's gonna be a
sh**ting at my school today.
And I said, "What the f*ck?"
I remember seeing a photo
of, like, a g*n in a pizza box.
[Ivy] It was kinda crazy
because everyone was posting,
and they're saying like,
"I heard there's gonna
be a sh**ting, like,
don't go to school."
There was supposedly someone
who had seen a picture
of a student with a g*n
in their backpack.
And I was like,
"Well, oh, my God,
I do not want to get shot."
[chaotic chatter]
[Jonathan] There was
screaming, there was running,
people didn't know
what was going on.
-[sirens wailing]
-[police chatter]
-Everyone's leaving.
-I think school's out.
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
That's really, really f*cked up.
Yeah.
[Vito] [exhales] Well, you ain't
goin' back to school. [chuckles]
[Ivy] There's been a
lot of stuff that's, like,
flying around on social media.
[Vito] That's what's confusing
and that's why
[stammers] you wonder
how much of it is a rumor.
[Ivy] Yeah.
'Cause-- Have they
identified somebody,
-you know, that there was some?
-Yeah, um, here.
This is from the group chat
of, like, the Pali High moms.
"Saw a group text this
morning with a bunch of kids
"talking about a rumor
that a kid in their math class
is supposedly bringing a g*n."
And then-- "Yeah,
some kid named Blake."
"I think he's a sophomore."
"Jesus." "LAPD is on campus."
"Hopefully, they
went to his house--"
[Ivy] There's so
many Blakes, though.
Yeah, right? "Apparently,
he's a super weird,
quiet, white kid."
They blamed this one
person because I'm pretty sure
they thought he
was just "weird."
When I heard that name, I
was shocked, to say the least.
I think someone just
pulled it out of their a*s,
and was like, "It's this kid."
I've known their family
since elementary school,
they live in the neighborhood.
People were just bullying him.
They were just saying
all this stuff about him,
saying he's g*y, he likes it
this way, and just weird stuff.
"He's really awkward, he looks
like he might be a school sh**ter."
[Jordan] And these people
were posting it on their story,
and saying like, "Oh, this
person, he did this and this,
this is why I think he's probably
gonna sh**t up the school."
There was no school sh**ting.
The photo of the student
sitting down with two cops
in front of him with g*ns,
that was being spread all
around Pali on social media.
That was not at Pali, uh,
and I'm not even sure if that
was at a Los Angeles school.
I saw on someone's story
like, "Lol, when Pali, like,
has a school sh**ting threat
so we can all leave early."
I did leave because
I was scared
No one was scared.
Everyone just wanted to leave.
but, I mean, it also was
a great excuse to leave.
[Jonathan] There is
an account called--
I believe it's called
@paliconfessions.
The point of the account
is students can DM
whatever they want
and they'll post it,
um, regardless of if
it's true or it's false.
But Blake, I can't imagine
how much stress and, and
pain he might be in right now,
just based upon, you know,
one or two people's actions
and sort of spreading
misinformation about him
and the type of
person that he is.
And then, here's the photo
where they walk back
which, after the
fact, is something,
sure, you can say I'm sorry,
but I don't know if that
takes back all of the harm
that could've been
done in the meantime.
[♪ "jealousy, jealousy"
by Olivia Rodrigo playing]
♪ Co-co-comparison
is k*lling me slowly ♪ ♪
♪ I think, I think too much ♪ ♪
♪ 'Bout kids who
don't know me ♪ ♪
♪ I'm so sick of myself ♪ ♪
♪ I'd rather be, rather be ♪ ♪
♪ Anyone, anyone else ♪ ♪
♪ Jealousy, jealousy ♪ ♪
♪ Started followin' me ♪ ♪
[♪ vocalizing]
♪ Started followin' me ♪ ♪
[♪ song fades out]
[♪ light music playing]
[Sydney] After everything I
went through in high school,
I feel like I was
kind of in a cage.
College is a completely
different world
than high school.
It's so much better.
[laughs] It's so much better.
[professor] and we're
comin' down to the end here.
Who we got? Sydney.
So, Sydney, yours
was soldier returns
-from World w*r 3, right?
-[Sydney] Yeah.
[professor] Comes home
[Sydney] At U of A,
I'm double majoring
in film and television,
and journalism.
My dream now is to become
a successful filmmaker.
I wanna be well-known
for, like, my work
and things I create.
Yeah, I like this.
Like, not social media famous.
Okay, so, I need you to be,
like, a badass, you're, like, a rebel.
Nice.
One of the things that
I love about college
was a fresh start,
not having people
that already had this
preconception of me.
I feel like I've definitely
become, like, already,
so much of a better
version of myself.
This is, like, my first
friend group-friend group
and I love them so much.
On social media now,
I'm kinda focusing on
posting pictures of my friends,
just all the fun things we do.
I'm trying to post less
about kind of how I look.
[Cooper] I feel like I always
had college on my mind.
You put the bumper
sticker on the car,
and you have your college
sweatshirt, and you put it in your bio.
-Yeah.
-[Cooper] And adding on social media,
you kinda go down
in this rabbit hole
of comparing yourself.
And you wanna be at, you
know, somewhere very prestigious
so that what you're
putting out into the world,
it's kind of showing,
like, your worth.
And I think that's why
it's really big, like, pres--
getting into a
prestigious school
is such a big thing because
it's, like, very validating.
And when you don't know
how to validate yourself,
it's, like, you have
college to do it for you.
[student speaking in video]
[video continues on laptop]
[Ivy] College is just such a
prominent thing on social media.
And it kind of helps
you, like, romanticize
a life that you don't have.
[student] So, you
wanna know what it's like
to be a Harvard student?
[in video] Alright, hold on.
[Ivy] It's like a name brand.
If you get a degree
from a good school,
you're kinda set.
[student] [in video] Today,
I'm gonna be filming a tour
of my Yale college dorm
as a sophomore student
living in
[Ivy] Yale is my
number-one school
and it has been since
I was 11 years old.
-[Sherry] [over phone] Hello.
-[Ivy] Hi.
Oh, hey!
How's it goin'?
-We have a lot to talk about.
-I'm good.
What's up?
Let's discuss
this college tour thing
that we're going on.
So, first off, we're
gonna go tour Harvard,
which is in Cambridge,
Massachusetts.
After that, we're gonna go
down to Connecticut
and visit Yale.
Uh-huh.
And then Princeton.
[sighs]
What?
Yeah, Mom, it's okay.
It's like a rite of--
Sherry, Sherry,
I know and I will.
Thanks.
If you don't wanna
do it, you can say that.
But if it's something else,
please keep it to yourself.
Thank you.
[Sherry] I also want
you to visit c-colleges--
Oh, we can't go to Yale
'cause you're not vaccinated.
Don't make a face.
We just can't do it.
So, we're gonna have to
go on our own on the 21st
My mom and I have
very different views
on the world and politics.
Welcome to A Right to Know.
I'm your host and
producer, Sherry B.
And today, we're gonna be
talking about America is reopening.
The CDC is actually
calling for you and I
to go to concentration camps
to stop the spread of COVID-19.
And the crazy thing is, Clay,
we're paying these
people to be fascists
and tell us how to
live and what to do.
And that we have
to walk around with
a dirty diaper on our face
She does not believe
in wearing masks
and is very, very
passionate about it.
And I believe
that COVID is real.
Mom, don't-- Please,
don't get mad about this.
You know how I feel.
Thanks.
Let's just wrap this up.
Alright, then that is it.
It's been so great
talking to you.
I have so much
studying to do, so
Okay, I love you, bye. Bye!
[♪ melancholy music playing]
[phone notifications]
-[Nadine] Now that Ellie's 18
-Mm-hm.
-how do you feel like she's been
-Acting?
[Nadine] She wasn't as
wild as I was when I was 18.
I want her to be really, like,
like, focused on-on her own thing.
Not all about boys.
-You know what I mean?
-[Nadine] Yeah.
[Lourdes] She totally
gives herself, all 100%,
to the other person.
-She does.
-And that's not, um, healthy.
I've had talks with her,
and I've, and I've, um,
kind of initiated
conversations where I'm like,
"I know you're not
going to school."
She was absent a lot.
I can't, I can't make her
go to school because--
Honestly, I feel like Ellie
hears it, but she doesn't care.
Like, Ellie's whole
mentality is like,
"I'm living this experience
"and if you guys wanna be
there when I get back, cool,
and if you guys
aren't, that's cool too."
-[waves lapping]
-[seagulls cawing]
[Marley] My name is Marley,
and I started thinking about
college, like, ever since I was--
I don't know, ever
since I was a baby
because my grandma went to Brown
and my dad went to Harvard.
It's, like, really hard
when you grow up
feeling that pressure of, like,
"You need to go to a good
school," "You need to go to an Ivy,"
because, like, that is
what is gonna equate,
like, love and happiness.
My dad is an
entrepreneur. He's a CEO.
He always tells us,
like, because we're Black
we have to work 10 times
harder than anyone else.
We have to show out
the most, work the hardest,
and we have to make
sure that we're heard
and we're seen in the
workplace and things like that
because he had to--
he had to deal with
a lot growing up, so
[birds chirping]
My dad grew up in Palos Verdes.
Him and his family,
I think, they were the second
Black family to move into PV.
They were in the newspaper.
It was, like, a big deal.
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
It was just, like, a nice area
for them to raise a kid, I think.
That's where me and Ava
went to elementary school.
Rolling Hills
Country Day School.
Everyone thought
that we're related.
Because, you know, we're
the only Black people in PV
-and they're like, "Oh, they must be related."
-Yeah.
[Marley] Where I
grew up is very white.
Basically, if you weren't,
like, really skinny, blonde,
you had no social life.
And then you add social
media on that and it's like,
"Damn, like, this is worse
than it should've ever been."
[Ava] On social media,
you just stand out a lot.
[laughs] Honestly, like,
ya take a group picture,
"Who's the Black girl?"
Yeah, that's me, the only one.
Let's go, like, right
before that park bench
'cause, like, the
trees meet at the top.
I hated myself when I
went to school in PV.
[both giggle]
I got told, like, "What's
a bunch of Black people,
like, running down a
hill? Like, a mudslide."
Like, a bunch of kids ran
away from me one time
'cause they said I
had Ebola Yeah.
It was just really bad.
So, I decided to leave for a really
good private school in Los Angeles.
So, now, I go to the
Archer School for Girls.
I moved in with my cousin in LA
to go to school at
Archer during the week
and just go home
on the weekends.
Archer is, academically,
very rigorous,
everyone is
constantly competing.
Archer is still
predominantly white,
but I had my first, like,
Black really close
friend other than Ava.
I also tried to immerse myself
in the Black community,
like, a lot more.
And Archer is also, like,
it teaches about racism,
it teaches about sexism.
I think going to Archer,
I like to call it
my saving grace
'cause I don't
think I would've--
I think I would've either
k*lled myself or been,
like, severely depressed.
[dog barking outside]
[Ivy] I've been on the
verge of breaking down.
I need to get fresh air and I
need to get away from people.
I am gonna go visit
my mom in Virginia.
Also touring colleges
and just giving myself
a break from life,
and social media, mostly.
I had this group of friends
that could be
really cruel at times.
[♪ light, tense music playing]
A couple of my friends
played a prank on me
that I did not think
was funny at all
and I was extremely upset.
I get a call from one of my
friends pretending they OD'd.
[friend] [on recording]
Ivy, I'm throwing up.
I need your help. Please, Ivy!
I really thought
he was, like, hurt
and that's what,
like, scared me.
And the fact that he was--
They were like,
"Oh, this is so funny
that she's crying or
she's freaking out."
Like, that, "We really got
her," "We really got her good."
And I think the more time
I spend on social media,
and the more anxious
I feel, thinking like,
"Oh, maybe they have
group chats that I'm not in
and they're, like,
making fun of me."
Right now, what I need
most is just to be away from it.
I'm gonna delete
all my social media.
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
[camera clicks]
[Vito] You wanna
jump out, sweetie?
-It's tight.
-Wait, lemme, lemme finish this
-really quickly. Okay.
-Go ahead, yeah, sure.
[Ivy] Yeah, I'm gonna
say, "Leave me alone."
-[Vito] Oh, really?
-Yeah.
This is my favorite. I
don't know how I'm gonna
-[Vito] Delete TikTok.
-[Ivy gasps]
-[Ivy] It's gone.
-[Vito] Wow, you did it.
Yeah!
[Ivy] Yay.
[Ellie] [screams] Come
here, what the f*ck!
I missed you.
Dude, I have so much tea!
-I have so much tea too.
-We have a lotta tea.
Let's go, let's go,
let's go, let's go.
First off, let me show
you guys the pictures.
Bodhi took me to this
spot 'cause it's, like, his spot
'cause he used
to live in New York.
[Belem] Oh, sh*t.
[Ellie] And he's leaving to go
to university next fall,
so, like, I might
even move out there,
like, to the east coast with him,
like, you know what I'm saying?
[Belem] With him?
Yeah, he, like--
We, like, been talking
about sh*t like that,
like, we could literally,
like, get our own spot.
[Belem] Wait, isn't this--
This is, uh, the picture,
-right, where it happened?
-[Ellie] No,
this is the picture
where it happened.
-It was this one.
-[Belem] Yeah.
[Ellie] Yeah, and I hate the
fact that, like, I posted one thing,
and, like, everyone
like-- What the f*ck, bro?
I-- And it's so crazy because--
Okay, like, what
happened was-- Okay
When I saw that Julian
had, like, reposted
on his Instagram,
it just caused a lotta conflict.
And it really upset Bodhi,
especially 'cause it
was on Instagram,
you know, it's a
very public platform.
I seen it, but I was just
like, "Whose nail is that?"
-Like [laughs]
-Yeah.
that's, like,
the first thing that
-popped in my head.
-My whole thing is like,
"Bro, you're so
immature." And then,
just for you doing that just
made it even more clear
that, like, my decision
was, like, a good
decision, you know?
It's, like, like, I
get you're mad,
but it's, like, there's
no point in that.
Like, there was no point.
[Nadine] I feel it
though. He was pissed.
There's so much sh*t that,
like, you don't even know
that, like, Julian and I,
have, like, gone through,
where it's like,
"I'm sorry, but, like,
I-I don't wanna have to
deal with that forever."
But, like, my whole
thing is just, like,
I want you to just be
aware of what you're doing
and how you're doing it.
I-It's like, yes, you're in a
relationship with your boyfriend,
but your boyfriend pretty
much lived here with us.
I had a relationship
with him too.
I guess I just wasn't there
to see how it all went wrong
and that's why I feel like
there's this void in my heart.
[Ellie] I kept, like,
trying to break off
-with him for so long.
-So, that's when you
told me that, and then
I was like, I did see,
kind of him, like,
come, and, like,
sit down right there
and, like, linger,
so I was like, okay, I
think he's not letting her
-really break up with him.
-[Ellie] I would literally tell him, like, whatever,
and, literally, Julie was here,
and he pulled up to
the f*cking window.
She'd sleep over, you'd be
like, "Yeah, she's sleeping over,"
and, like, he'd
stay, like [laughs]
No, no. 'Cause f*ck that
because he did that for me--
to me our whole
f*cking relationship.
f*ck that. f*ck his feelings.
f*ck all that sh*t, f*ck
that, I really don't care.
Like, that really pissed me off.
Because he put me through
so much f*cking emotions
that I would sit there
and f*cking pray to God
to take that sh*t away
from me. Literally.
You have no clue.
You really don't know.
He cheated on me, I
found out, we broke up.
And he-he literally
did not hit me up at all.
Like, I was the one hitting
him up, looking for him, like,
messages weren't sending,
for days he didn't
f*cking hit me back.
Like, all this sh*t, bro.
Yeah, like, all this sh*t you
thought that I did was "bad,"
he did 10 times
more and even worse.
When me and Bodhi were
together, like, we're so tactical.
Like, we were so, like--
We got sh*t done, we did--
Like, we-- Yeah,
like, I don't know,
it just felt, like, like,
right, you know?
-It just felt like-- -Yeah,
yeah, yeah, just take your time,
because, obviously, when you
start messing with someone else,
or chilling with someone else,
it's always like that
in the beginning.
[indistinct chatter]
[Cooper] Okay, I do not
look good with this filter on,
and other people do.
We're gonna see if I
can look pretty with this.
See, look, I just look
scary. I look scary.
See, it's just creepy.
It is creepy. I don't like it.
But, okay, but look at her.
She looks good with it.
I think social media makes
a lot of teens feel like crap,
but they don't know
how to stop using it.
There's, like, a new
trend about, like,
what do you look like
from different angles,
like, this way,
three-quarters, half.
And I've always been very
insecure about my nose.
Like, I can't do the trend,
and I compare my nose
to other people when
they do this trend.
I remember in 7th
grade there was, like,
this anonymous website
where people could write stuff
about you and you could read it.
I don't know why we all
decided this was a good idea,
but we all went on this app
and, like, would put
it in our Instagram bio.
And I remember I got,
like, multiple comments
along the lines of, like, "You'd be
so pretty if it weren't for your nose."
[in video on computer]
Welcome to the Thrive Podcast
with Cooper Klein
and Lauren Fuchs.
We engage in
meaningful discussions
with psychologists,
neuroscientists
I hate listening
to my own voice.
we hope to erase the stigma
surrounding mental health.
It is Episode 24.
Thank you so much,
Gia, for joining us today.
-So nice to meet you.
-Hi Cooper, so nice to meet you.
[Cooper] I guess one thing I
wanted to discuss was how
social media can really play a
role in triggering mental illness,
like eating disorders,
restrictive eating,
or even providing,
I guess, the images
of an idealized body
type that aren't realistic
and how they're harming
people's perception.
Can I turn this
on you guys first
because you're living it, right?
Like, you're at the exact age
where all this is targeting you.
So, what is it like to be
in your lives right now?
[♪ light music playing]
[Cooper] There's,
like, this pressure.
Doing all that you
do without flaws.
I need a perfect resume,
I need perfect GPA,
perfect test scores,
perfect body.
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
I'm a recovering perfectionist.
I think that's the way I put it.
I think I have
perfectionist tendencies,
but I'm definitely
getting better at
being comfortable
with my imperfections.
[Lauren] We both
struggle with perfectionism
and, like, anxiety.
How can we kind of
avoid being, you know,
sent back into a spiral?
I would say anything that
leads to social comparison,
um, is, is toxic.
And so, those triggers
[Cooper] And it's hard
because perfectionism,
as I've seen it manifest
in my life, is everywhere.
I've just spent
the last four years
stressing my mind
out over college.
I took eight APs and
two classes at UCLA.
I tested really
well with the SAT.
I missed one question.
They formed the
Thrive Initiative.
[Cooper] I'm a yoga instructor.
I'm the president of the
Intersectional Feminism club.
I have the statistics. I
have the extracurriculars.
Hopefully, I'm going to be
okay and get a result I want.
[Jonathan] I've gotten
straight A's and I have a 4.0.
And I'm very lucky to
have been able to have
not only an ACT Tutor,
but also my own
private college counselor.
[Marley] The college
process has a lot of pressure,
certain people being like,
"Oh, do you know
where she's applying?"
"Do you know where she's
applying?" "What's her top choice?"
Wednesday, I will
hear whether or not
I am accepted
to Yale University.
So, fingers crossed.
[Ivy] I left for about a month
to go stay with my mom
and look at colleges.
[♪ light music playing]
We drove 1,300 miles.
Being away from social media
has been very
therapeutic for me.
I'm very glad that I
have taken this time
to, like, be away from
school. I definitely needed it.
[Ivy and tour guide chatting]
My mom can't go on the
Yale tour with me today
because you have
to be vaccinated.
-[Sherry] How'd it go?
-It was really nice.
It was a really good tour.
I had a lot of questions.
Well, I had a couple.
I do wanna stop by the bookstore
and get myself, like, a hoodie.
My mom and I, we've been,
like, working on our relationship
but, of course, we, like,
butt heads now and then.
[Sherry] There's a
sale rack back here.
-[Ivy shushing] -You can
save some money for tuition.
-[Ivy] You're so funny. You're so funny.
-Get somethin' half off.
Here are the hoodies behind you.
-[Ivy] I can do it myself.
-Okay, yeah.
You go right ahead. [laughs]
I haven't gone to a college tour
since my son graduated
from high school in 2015.
And now, of course, these days,
the first question is, um,
"W-What, what do you
wanna be referred to as?
What pronoun?"
And I'm kind of
comfortable myself
going into a restroom
with just ladies.
You know, for all of the
reasons one might imagine.
[Ivy] I have not told my
mom that I like women.
I really don't know
how she's gonna react.
She might have a
h*m* attitude.
We would probably
not talk if she did know.
People feel like they just have to
go along with it, with everything,
or you get labeled.
"Oh, you're a r*cist.
You're h*m*."
It's like, "Shut your
mouth. You can't talk."
Just like the masks.
-[cashier] How are you?
-Oh, good, how are you?
[Ivy] It's, like, we have
very different beliefs,
so sometimes we'll argue
'cause that's just
kind of unavoidable
-Okay, have a good one.
-[cashier] You as well, thank you.
[Ivy] but I'll just,
like, let her know,
"I'm not comfortable with this."
"Can we please
change the subject?"
There anything else you want?
[Ivy] Besides an
acceptance letter?
[Sherry] Yeah.
[Nadine] Have you ever guys
gone to, like, anything like that?
-Like, at Six Flags or anything?
-[friend] Like, anything scary?
No, never?
[Nadine] Oh, dude, you guys
are gonna get freakin' scared.
-[friend] Do you think so?
-[Julie] I'm a crybaby, dude.
[Nadine] Yeah! That sh*t is
scary. Like, those mazes, like,
there's a point where you
-[♪ spooky music playing]
-[person screams]
-[demon growls]
-[group screams]
[Ellie] Already screamin'.
I haven't even seen nothin'
-and I'm already screamin'.
-[people screaming]
Like, it's some real sh*t.
[shrieking]
[♪ spooky music continues]
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
[party chatter]
[Jack] We made 6k in
Venmo and 5k in cash,
so I'd say a good 10k.
[screaming]
-[Ellie] Babe, I'm scared.
-[actor growls]
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
[Jordan] Oh, my God.
[Maren] 'Cause imagine
waiting in 105 lines for one maze.
[friend] Well, I mean, I've
been here without Express.
[Maren] But it was awful.
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
[phone notifications]
[person screaming]
m, like,
all the Molly you take,
but I never said that.
If you spread a lie like that,
I will f*cking come for you.
[Sydney] For Halloween,
my roommate and I
dressed up as Maddy
and Cassie from Euphoria
for a frat party.
[Aimee] Ooh. There's sports bra.
-Sydney, look.
-[Sydney] Wait.
Is this too slutty?
-Um, it's kind of cute though.
-Wait, I wanna try it on.
-[Sydney] Aimee.
-[Aimee] No.
[Sydney] Greek life is
the most important thing,
it seems, at this school.
-No.
-No? 'Kay.
[Sydney] To be able to
get into the frat parties,
you have to wear
something revealing.
Crop tops, bikini tops
-These are cute.
-jean shorts.
The more skin you show,
the easier it is to get
in without a wristband.
[Aimee] Is this gonna
fit my t*tties? No.
-It's givin' Euphoria.
-A little slutty.
Sorry, I really like that
word. Should I stop saying it?
No.
[♪ "Do It To It" by
Acraze ft. Cherish playing]
♪ Bounce with
it, drop with it ♪ ♪
♪ Lean with it, rock
with it, snap with it ♪ ♪
♪ All my ladies, pop
your backs with it ♪ ♪
♪ Bounce with
it, drop with it ♪ ♪
♪ Lean with it, rock
with it, snap with it ♪ ♪
♪ All my ladies, pop
your backs with it ♪ ♪
[♪ song stops]
[♪ light music playing]
[Sydney] I always
wanted to join a sorority.
It's almost like you
don't have a social life
if you aren't in Greek life.
Most of the popular people
are fraternity boys
and sorority girls
and they're the people who
have plans on weekends,
who go to parties.
There is definitely a specific
look for the sorority girl.
It really doesn't matter
who you are as a person.
They are looking
for a lot of followers,
they're looking
for skinny girls
they're looking for
people who look like
they have perfect lives.
[birds chirping]
-[doorbell rings]
-[dogs barking]
[Cooper] Stop it! Can someone
please handle the dogs, please?
Sunshine! Sunshine!
-[barking]
-[Jonathan] Hello. Hi.
[Cooper] They're very
loud, sorry about that.
[chuckles] No worries.
Did you ED or EA anywhere?
[Cooper] I did early
decision at Stanford, um
Like, definitely a
big dream of mine
since I was really little.
-What about you?
-Yale.
-Yale.
-I so-- 'Cause I have an older brother,
so I saw him go through it.
-Yeah.
-But it's, like, so weird,
like, going through it yourself
'cause I was like, "Oh,
it's not that much work."
And then I'm writing,
like, three essays a week
-Mm-hm!
-and [chuckles] applying to 18 schools.
[Cooper] Oh, for sure.
-[Jonathan] All set?
-Yeah.
[Jonathan] So, I sort
of know your work
with eating disorders
and body image,
-from the podcast.
-Yeah.
Um, sort of go back
from the beginning,
um, your story, and then
we'll go into that a little bit.
So, how I got into this work was
very driven by my own
experiences with body image
and eating disorder struggles.
I remember going
to middle school,
starting to be on social media.
I started getting a lot of
messaging about body image
that sparked my
own inner criticism.
Being in LA, I remember seeing
moms going on juice cleanses,
surrounded by influencers,
and people talking
about their diets.
When you're posting your body,
when you're seeing
other people's bodies,
it just increases the
awareness of how you look.
And then, we all
learned about Facetune.
You edit your body to
be something it's not
and I'd be like, "Oh, I
wanna look like that.
I don't wanna look
like the real picture."
I became very obsessed
with watching my body shrink.
I would think about, like,
the number on the scale,
the number of calories
you're eating in a day.
With college, you can think
about, like, an SAT score,
that's a number, GPA, ranking.
Both kind of stoke
feelings of envy
or a lack of being enough.
It takes on this
competitive element.
[indistinct chatter]
Like, I won't be
able to eat this, so
Have a-- I have, like,
a actual jaw condition
called-- I think
it's called TMJ.
Yeah, TMJ.
Temporo-nanana
joint dysfunction.
So, I can't-- It-- No, it hurts
so bad and it'll get worse.
And, like, I could try,
but I don't wanna like
-[Ella] Eat the bread.
-Hurt yourself.
[Ella] Yeah, eat, like--
Just deconstruct it.
Hashtag bread-less. Keto!
[Ella] I feel like the
bread would work.
[Maren] No, that's too chewy.
I can't eat bread anymore.
[Lauren Greenfield] So, just
show of hands, who in this room
has had either eating
disorder or disordered eating?
[Ella] For me, it was more like
the eating disorder stuff found me.
Like, I wasn't
looking for it. I w--
But, all of a sudden,
it's, like, one video
of just, like, one skinny person
and then you like it and then
the algorithm starts changing.
And then you're,
like, you're stuck.
If I see someone
with, like, a six-pack,
like, I don't know why
that's the standard,
but, like, I want that
because then maybe, like,
people would treat me better,
or people would like me,
or I-I'd like myself more.
Um, over quarantine, I went
through a really bad period of time
for, like, multiple reasons.
I fell into a rabbit
hole of pro-ana sites.
It grew because of stuff
that I was s-seeing online.
[♪ solemn music playing]
Like, here. Oh, my
God, these are so bad,
but, like, hello?
Like, that. That's,
like, Tumblr.
Tumblr is a
cesspool for thinspo.
On my regular account,
it's, like, just normal videos.
Usually, they're, like,
funny or, like, animals.
But on my other account,
'cause I do have, like,
a pro-ana account
I specifically followed a
bunch of pro-ana accounts,
so then I would get a bunch of
pro-ana stuff on my For You Page.
Just, like, giving me, like,
tricks on, like,
here's what to do.
[TikToker] [voiceover] You
f*ck' drink this sh*t for three days,
your whole intestine
will come out too,
and you will have a flat
stomach and be pretty forever.
[lip-syncing to voiceover] I mean,
I'd rather die hot than live ugly,
so if this is gonna take 10
years off my life, I don't care.
[Maren] I'm like, yeah, TikTok
bans the hashtag, like, "pro-ana,"
but you can change the
letters or you say, like,
instead of an I,
you would use, like,
an exclamation point.
So, like, "th!nsp0" and
then maybe an, a zero.
Or if you look,
like, "proskinny."
It's like, "I want to
have an eating disorder,"
and you're proud of that.
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
Both of my parents work, so
they were, like, never home
and it was just easy to do.
Like, it's really not that hard
once you, like, get started.
There's something
really addictive
about looking at
what you desire, um
I like to look at
skinny people dance
and move their
little waists. [laughs]
I don't actually like it
'cause it's, like, self-harm,
but it is, it's addicting.
I think you can't log
into TikTok and be safe.
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
I go to Hamilton High
School and I'm a senior.
I've always been really
insecure about my body.
"February 17th,
2018. I feel ugly.
"My mom points to the
TV making remarks like,
"'Oh, she's stunning,
I wanna look like her,
"'I want her beautiful body,
she's so big, look at her.'
"Today she watched
the Golden Globes
"and pointed out 27
beautiful women to me.
"I counted for
emphasis on the point.
My mom never tells
me I am beautiful."
[inhales vape]
Sorry, it's stressful.
[weak chuckle] This is so sad.
This is me saying
all of the things
I will do to change my body.
"No snacking,
wear my Invisalign,
"eat less than the other
person, start drinking green tea,
"think about everything
that enters my mouth,
"look at pictures
of skinny girls,
meditate, breathe,
relax, and be happy."
I'm a child here. This
was a lot of time ago.
"I feel gross right now,
and I would just like
to go to sleep forever."
I was in, um, treatment
for an eating disorder.
My, like, struggle with it,
it started with wanting to get
attention from my parents, um
And then it became
easier because social media
was there to make it easier.
[Maren] I have this fasting app.
I haven't fasted in
a while, thank God.
I have had 27 fasts
My, like, um
my average is 30 hours.
Here, let me look at all my--
My longest one was
91 hours.
I didn't count a fast
unless it was over 24 hours
'cause anyone can not,
not eat for, like, 12 hours,
like, I don't really-- you know?
So, if it was, like, 23 hours
and then I ate over
a hundred calories,
I'd be like, "It's not a fast
anymore." And I would just delete it.
And then, that--
after that is usually when
a binge would happen.
Um yeah.
[Ivy] I was really set on Yale,
so I applied, like,
restrictive early action,
so I find out if I
get in or not today.
[dog softly whining]
[Jonathan] Today, I
will hear whether or not
I am accepted
to Yale University.
[♪ light, suspenseful
music playing]
Exciting, nervous.
[Ivy] It's very exciting.
[Marley] Oh,
goodness, here we go.
I'm stressed. [nervous
chuckle] Okay.
[Jonathan] Oh, here we go.
[Ivy] That's it, that's it, that's
it, that's it, it's here. Okay.
[exhales]
[FaceTime ringing]
Okay, so do we have
any idea what time or now?
Now.
Oh! Okay!
[Vito] [over phone] Okay.
-[exhales]
-[♪ music stops]
I did get rejected.
I got rejected, okay.
Yeah.
Denied.
Aww.
-[Vito] You are--
-You don't need
to make me feel better.
-[Vito] Okay. Oh, well, then in
that case-- -'Cause that's just
gonna make me feel awkward.
Their loss Their loss.
I'm very proud of
you and the process.
[crying] It's fine.
I'm sorry, Jonathan.
It's okay. I mean,
I expected it.
I know it's a reach school.
I also, like, anticipated this.
It was a r-- It was a really
long shot of me getting in.
[Marley's mom] Oh, it's
alright, baby. It's hard.
You did everything you could.
We are moving on to
bigger and better things.
[students screaming]
Moment of silence for my future.
[chuckles] No, I'm okay.
[♪ melancholy music playing]
"Big day Full-on,
flat-out rejected.
"I'm hurting. I feel deflated.
"In high school, I've watched my
biggest nightmare become a reality
"and my biggest
dream get squashed.
"A dream of 15
years, absolutely gone.
I'm clearly not meant
to be at Stanford."
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
[Alison] Oh, my goodness.
-Hello.
-[Alison] Hello?
What are you doin' in the dark?
Studying.
-[Alison] Hola.
-Hola.
-I'm sorry, bud.
-It's okay.
Well, you have a lot of
other great schools that are--
I'm sure will be interested in
you, and they're missing out.
[Jonathan] Okay
that's very nice, but
I know.
All will be well.
Exactly, all will be well.
You'll find a great place.
Yes, it is.
Oh, you're almost
done with finals?
-How did today go?
-Good.
Woo-hoo, done with your
last important semester
of high school.
-Yeah, so
-That's very exciting.
Yep.
[Ivy] Did you get me a
book for my birthday?
[Vito] Oh, uh, why,
why do you ask?
-Do you need help, Nina?
-[Nina] Okay, so we are--
-Nina!
-Yeah?
-Do you need help?
-Yeah, I feel-- I--
It feels wasteful
to not use this now.
[Vito] So, roughly, like there.
[Ivy] It's really nice to
have my older sibling
at home for my birthday.
How do we feel about a
Lord of the Rings marathon?
-[Nina] Um-- -[Vito] I really want
us to watch It's a Wonderful Life
'cause Ivy's never seen
it. Have you ever seen it?
[Ivy] Okay, but I'm
saying, for my birthday,
we were gonna have,
like, a Godfather marathon.
-[Vito] We are? Okay.
-We were, yeah--
[Nina] Is The Godfather
on the internet?
-[Vito] Oh, you betcha.
-[Ivy] Everything's on the internet.
[indistinct chatter]
I feel like my sister and I grew up
very differently around social media,
like the role it
played in our lives.
Like, I-I feel like I'm
a different generation
from her a lot of times.
I didn't get a smartphone
until the very end of my
senior year of high school.
Like, I had a Facebook,
but I really only used it
when I was able to have
access to a computer.
[group screaming]
[Greenfield] Are
you back on now?
[Ivy] Yeah, I have social media,
but I try not to
be on it as much,
but I'm totally on it
all the time. [chuckles]
I've always been a
very solitary person.
School is just really
overwhelming me.
So, ever since I got back,
I decided to switch
to online school.
[Nina] I don't know if
it's, like, the pandemic,
things being online more,
but Ivy really,
really struggled
um, whereas I think social
media, right, like, helped me.
I, like, was able to
receive a lot of support
from other trans people
even though I was
physically isolated from them.
Like, I was not willing to accept
myself as trans at that time,
but there was a
part of me that was
yearning to be who I really am
that saw trans women in
these online communities
and was like, "I can do
this, this is a possibility.
I can live a more honest life."
[♪ holiday music playing]
[Vito] Wow Beautiful
day in Santa Monica.
[Ivy] Right?
[phone notifications]
[raining]
[Nina] My mom was really offended
that she wasn't invited to Christmas
with my sister and my dad and I,
but I don't wanna
see my mom right now.
-[phone notification]
-[♪ melancholy music playing]
[Nina] My mom, she's, like,
an incredibly loving mother,
she would go to the
end of the world for me,
but she also is incapable of
supporting me through transition.
[phone notification]
I came out to her as trans
and she took it really poorly.
She started, like,
sobbing and yelling at me,
"Who is pressuring
me into doing this,"
"Why I would do this to her".
[phone notification]
I-I was so close with my ch--
with, with Giovanni.
Giovanni has been my heart
and now, I've been
very clearly told
I can't call my oldest
child "Giovanni".
I think, today, social media has
a role in everything doesn't it?
That's how you get
into people's heads,
very easily and very quickly.
It's-It's very easy
if somebody's trying to
pull through an agenda.
For example, just a
couple of years ago,
we had one clinic in
the whole entire country
that-that worked
with transgender.
Now we have 300. Bam, like that.
[Nina] Lot of the information that my
mom gets around trans people now
is from social media,
that I was probably abused
by someone as a child
and that's why I think this way,
or she thinks the COVID
vaccine is what made me trans.
is what is causing
the gender dysphoria.
There's this whole
thing of the-- of AI.
If y-- If you get rid of
whatever your gender is
You can be absolutely anything.
it's much easier to merge
human beings with artificial-- with AI.
Ever since I was a kid,
I could tell that my mom
had very different political
views than other parents.
Like, she didn't allow
me to get any vaccines,
she was, right, like,
really insistent on, um, like,
me following certain
dietary practices,
not using fluoride toothpaste
and once I got into high school,
my mom would spend, like,
entire work days on the computer
researching conspiracy theories.
Like, the world is
run by the cabal,
like, 9/11 was an inside job,
the British royal
family are lizards.
Once you start opening
yourself up to certain
what I believe
is misinformation,
then it's hard to,
it's hard to get back.
So, similar to our
marriage, it was a--
a point was reached
where [inhales]
there's no communication.
[Nina] I think it was
traumatic for Ivy.
Like, she was present
while they were fighting.
Her home was torn apart.
And so, like, when
my dad chose freedom,
like, that's what allowed us
all to, I think, do the same.
[raining]
[Ivy] Comin'
through with a knife.
[Nina] You ready to
start making the pasta?
-[Ivy] Yeah, I'm ready.
-Dope.
M'kay. So, you take 'em,
and then, I gotta
remember how to shape it.
It's with the, like, butt
of the knife or something.
Cybele! How are you?!
[Aunt Cybele] [over phone]
I'm great, how are you doing?
We're doin' great, so we're
celebrating Ivy's birthday
and, uh, we're in an Airbnb,
and, uh, Nina here, uh, and Ivy,
decided they wanted
to make orecchiette.
So, I'll let, uh, Nina
take over and ask you
-Hey, Cybele!
-[Cybele] Nina!
[Nina screams excitedly]
-[Vito] Can you hold that?
-[Nina speaking Italian]
Hi!
When you taught me it was, um,
like, one-to-one
semolina to water, right?
[Cybele] Usually one
to one until you cool it
and then you sprinkle in more
[Vito] Cybele, this is Nina's
lifeline, so, please, help out.
Okay, we'll talk again soon.
-[Cybele] Okay, okay. Bye.
-Alright. Mwah.
-[all saying goodbye]
-[Nina] Ciao!
[call ends]
When did you tell them about
I-I didn't. They knew
from the girls, I think.
-But, like, b-- have you ever called me "Nina" to them before?
-[Vito] No.
Yeah, that's why
I was surprised.
I've never, like, talked
openly at all about being
-Trans to them.
-Okay.
-But they also love you, everybody loves you.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey I bought a
billboard announcing your--
-No.
-Oh, got it. So, now everyone knows.
-[Vito] Yeah.
-[Nina] It's a girl!
Yeah!
[Nina] When I came
out to my dad as trans,
I was, like, trembling,
crying when I told him.
I knew he was,
like, busy with work
and I, I wanted to
come out to him,
but I didn't wanna, like,
burden him with something
that might be too much to
think about while he was working.
See, he's taking the knife
and pulling it towards him,
and then he flips it.
Look at this. Yeah.
See, it's cut and flip,
cut and flip, cut and flip.
I grew up in a somewhat
blue-collar suburb of Chicago
with, you know, a lot of
h*m* mentality.
So, it was difficult at first.
I'm having flashbacks
now. Watching my mom.
But I, literally, had to
look in the mirror and say,
"Do you love your child?"
And, of course, the answer
is, f*ck yeah! Unequivocally.
So, at that point, you go
ya know
you-- she is who she is.
And I, like, started f*cking
bawling in the moment.
[♪ light music playing]
I didn't expect it
to be that simple.
I didn't expect to
leave the conversation
not feeling like I
needed to explain myself
or that, um, I needed to convince
someone else of who I am.
So, we doin' that
Godfather movie?
-Yeah.
-Can we please?
[Vito] It's very
simple, actually.
It's-It's called loving
your children, ya know?
[Vito and Nina singing
"Happy Birthday" in Italian]
-[Ivy chuckles]
-[both] ♪ Tanti auguri a te ♪ ♪
-[blows]
-[Vito] Oh!
-Wow.
-Close.
-Brava!
-[cheering]
[indistinct chatter, yelling]
[♪ "How Deep Is Your Love" by
Calvin Harris & Disciples playing in dorm]
[all singing along]
[laughter]
♪ How deep is your love ♪ ♪
♪ How deep is your love ♪ ♪
[Sydney] Happy birthday, Jonah!
[Jonah] Should I open my eyes?
Open your eyes!
Shotgun it right now!
[cheering]
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ How deep is your love ♪ ♪
g*dd*mn, Jonah.
-[friends cheering]
-[friend] Let's go!
-Thanks for the birthday gift.
-[Sydney] You're welcome.
Boys are not
allowed at frat parties
unless you're
in that fraternity.
They want the ratio to be, like,
a hundred girls to
one guy, basically.
It's all about the frat rules.
They'll have, like, an open bar
with the frat boys
pouring the drinks.
-So, you want to get drunk before you go out.
-[camera clicking]
Bye, guys, love you!
[door closes]
Kind of rule number one
they tell you in a sorority
is to avoid sexual as*ault.
Definitely, you can never
go alone to a frat party.
Make sure you're
with trusted people.
Come together, leave together,
just stay with your friends.
And to avoid roofying,
never drink at frat parties.
[♪ upbeat party music playing]
[indistinct chatter]
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
[cheering]
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
[Sydney] Where's Aimee?
[ambient street noise]
[indistinct chatter, shouting]
-It's fine, we'll find another party.
-[phone notifications]
[♪ party music
playing in distance]
[banging]
[banging on door]
-[through door] This b*tch.
-[jiggling door handle]
[banging on door]
[jiggling door handle]
[banging]
There's no way
she doesn't hear me.
[laughing]
-I'm so sorry.
-Wait, I thought she went out with you.
She did and then she left me.
[♪ melancholy music playing]
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
[♪ music fades out]
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01x03 - Peer/Algorithm Pressure
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Over the course of a school year, the series explores Generation Z students in Los Angeles who deal with bullying, racism, beauty standards, and sexuality, specifically through the use of social media.
Over the course of a school year, the series explores Generation Z students in Los Angeles who deal with bullying, racism, beauty standards, and sexuality, specifically through the use of social media.