01x01 - The Legendary Hit Man

[bunniefuu]

There he is! Get the g*ns ready!

k*ll him!

Die, as*h*le!

Damn it!

sh*t! Where is he?

Where'd he go?

Show yourself!

You son of a b*tch!

There once was a legendary hit man.

His name was

Taro Sakamoto.

He was feared by every gangster,

admired by every hit man.

Until, one day

Hi! May I help you?

He fell in love.

He retired,

got married,

had a child,

and

Sakamoto got fat.

THE LEGENDARY HIT MAN

SAKAMOTO'S

This has to be it.

I looked all over for you,

Mr. Sakamoto.

SAKAMOTO

Hey Mister, watch this!

If I can hit this target,

you have to give me a free juice box!

Oh my, what are you doing?

He's been coming a lot recently, huh?

Yep.

Oh, darn it!

One more try!

Mister, watch me get it this time!

Oops!

CALLIGRAPHY INK

Uh-oh.

What the hell! You little brat!

Look at my white pants!

- Oh, no! Honey, what should we do?

- How dare you!

Let me go!

You're dead!

Creepy fat-a*s!

Thank you, Mister

There, there, don't cry.

There, there!

Brilliant move.

A pen into the lower jaw,

straight through the carotid artery.

I could see it.

It's been too long, Mr. Sakamoto.

It's me, Shin the Psychic.

HIT MAN / PSYCHIC

SHIN

Stop k*lling people in your mind!

It's me, Shin!

I used to work under you!

So it was true, huh?

You went straight

- and started a mom-and-pop shop.

- Come on, let's go!

SAKAMOTO'S

Please come back, Mr. Sakamoto.

You're too good.

I mean, look at you now. That body!

My days as a hit man are over.

You used to be feared by every gangster.

They called you "the legendary hit man."

Why would you throw that all away?

Delicious!

You used to only eat field rations.

Honestly, I can barely recognize you now.

That that speed!

"Fat or not, I can k*ll you any day."

Is that what he's telling me?

Hi there, Mr. Sakamoto!

Sorry to tear you away from your meal,

but I've got a favor to ask.

A favor from Mr. Sakamoto?

Is he disguising as a civilian

to ask for a hit?

This tree's gotten so tall,

I can't cut those branches.

Can you get 'em, Mr. Sakamoto?

Oh, looks great! You're amazing!

Mr. Sakamoto,

my daughter won't eat her veggies.

Yummy!

We only have one ball to play with!

Thank you!

Are you the handyman for the whole town?!

I get it now.

You've done a good job

hiding your true identity.

But I gotta say, Mr. Sakamoto,

from where I'm standing,

you just look ridiculous.

I'll be back.

You brat!

It's been five years since I last saw him.

He's let himself go in more ways than one.

But

Damn, Mr. Sakamoto is awesome!

Even with the extra weight,

he's still got that aura!

If only! We could work! Together! Again!

Don't look!

BOSS

Hello?

Did you convince him?

Well, no, but--

So, you k*lled him, then?

Boss.

Come on, do we have to?

Mr. Sakamoto's really fat now.

I don't think he'd cause any issues if--

Shin.

If someone disappears from the g*ng,

we make 'em disappear from the earth.

That's the rule and Sakamoto broke it.

We can't let him go.

You know, Shin,

if you can't get it done,

I can always send someone else!

Stop complaining

or you'll be joining him in--

Oh, shut up.

Guess I have no choice

TWO DAYS' WORTH OF VITAMINS

If I don't do it, someone else will.

So if he's gonna die either way

I should be the one to do it.

Hey, what kind of poop

do you think this is?

Ew! That's gross!

Oh! You're the boy from yesterday.

Shin, right?

You're back already?

Look what I found!

I think it's alien poop!

Sorry, kiddos.

It's time for w*r.

ROBBERY SUSPECTS STILL AT LARGE!

Hi again, Mr. Sakamoto.

I'm probably going to leave town today,

so I thought I'd come by to say

goodbye!

A cough drop?

Damn it, I can't read his mind.

Where is he?

SOOTHING COUGH DROPS

CUSTARD CREAM PUFF

Damn it! I gotta fix my stance and--

Damn

What was I thinking

Dinner's almost ready!

Help me set the table.

Okay!

Hey, he's awake!

Oh!

Thank goodness.

Where am I?

The second floor above the shop.

Why don't you join us for dinner?

Huh?

- Um

- Do you want extra rice?

Extra extra? Mega extra?

A normal amount, please.

- Let's eat!

- Let's eat!

How did this happen?

I tried to k*ll him

Wait, maybe this is poisoned!

I've trained to withstand poison.

I'll be fine.

So good

So warm!

He's reacting just like you did back then.

Same as Daddy!

What is it?

What is this feeling?

I've never felt this way in

any of the jobs I've done.

I get it now.

Mr. Sakamoto

wants to protect these little moments

of everyday life.

That's why he quit

SAKAMOTO'S

Mr. Sakamoto,

I

Thank you for dinner.

THANK YOU! PLEASE COME AGAIN.

- SAKAMOTO'S

I'm still no match

for Mr. Sakamoto.

What is it, Shin?

What an embarrassment.

You couldn't k*ll him, could you?

Boss

What?

Don't give me any excuses.

Please let Mr. Sakamoto live!

- How pathetic!

- What's wrong with you, Shin?

Why?

Why are you defending Sakamoto?

He has people to go home to now.

Sakamoto broke the rules of our world.

He abandoned his responsibilities.

So, we must k*ll him.

Then hold me responsible.

I'll die instead.

So please, let Mr. Sakamoto go.

Why are you doing this for him?

I pointed my g*n at someone I admired.

This is my way of owning up.

Fine.

You die and I'll let Sakamoto live.

Dumbass.

As if I'd ever let that happen.

Just die, you idiot.

I heard that.

I knew I couldn't expect much from you.

Did he read my mind?

k*ll him!

Bring it on.

SAKAMOTO'S

I'll blow his brains out!

I can see everything from up here.

Damn it!

What are you doing? It's just one guy!

It's like he knows what we're about to do.

He's a psychic!

If you get too close,

he'll read your mind.

Keep your distance, surround him!

This is my last mag.

I gotta force my way out somehow.

Damn it!

I guess this is it

Mr. Sakamoto

Sakamoto?

k*ll him!

Die!

Son of a--

Go to hell!

sh*t!

Screw you!

WASTE

What just happened?

You're dead!

Don't try to take him on alone.

We'll sh**t together.

Now!

You piece of sh*t!

This is insane.

It's him.

The legendary hit man,

Taro Sakamoto!

Mr. Sakamoto, how'd you know I was here?

What? A bug?

Did you plant this last night?

Nothing gets past you, does it?

Mr. Sakamoto,

I actually meant what I said.

No matter the outcome,

I was gonna leave town toda--

SHIN

An apron?

Eight hundred yen an hour.

For overtime

I'll pay extra.

What?

SAKAMOTO'S

Mr. Sakamoto,

could you not eat ramen right next to me?

This is a brand-new shirt.

Plus, we're running out of ramen

We're home!

Oh, my!

Shin, the apron looks great on you.

Oh, does it?

Lookin' dapper!

Here you go, ma'am.

Oh, how'd you know?

This is just what I was looking for!

Thank you, sweetie.

He really is psychic!

Hey! Come play with me!

After my shift's over.

Come on!

Is that even fun?

Well, I don't really know yet,

but it beats my last job for sure.

What'd you do at your last job?

Tell him and I'll k*ll you.

Well, you could say I was a cleaner!

In a sense.

Hurry up!

Welcome in!