02x11 - I Write The Songs

[bunniefuu]

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if you're into fun and you love to play

if you're like funny jokes they put you

away if you like to dance to a slamming

sound and you're like having lots of

friends Ryan if you wanna those it slips

by the rule that sad is bad little buddy

you're about to see you're at the very

best place that you could be

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join the kids and make a muscle squeeze

really squeeze with all you might know

the other arm

let me see just how strong two missiles

left and come on pump it up strong

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yeah and especially you it's a game and

in order to play this game you need a

spoon and lid lid this is a lid of a box

you can use a little bit doesn't have to

be this big the lid of any box it's like

a tray and so what are you put into the

tray Jared the Cup okay you lie it down

in the aim of the game will let me try

let me try

oh you want to try no he wants to try I

would like to play games what can I do

you hit with the spoon under the lid and

you try to get the cup to stand okay

hold it straight hold it straight and

you go it's about as much fun as you can

have with a cup full of cups

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and tell yourself a joke

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can shop did you call me yes oh why did

you call me I have a joke

oh good tell me a joke what room has no

walls ceiling windows what room has no

walls ceiling or windows I give up a

mushroom that's a good job man Chuck

lazy sorry do you have a favorite song I

have lots o I've only got one I sing one

of my favorites

alright and I'll sing my one great and

you kids at home or wherever you are

when you sing my song with me oh you

don't know what it is well listen and

then you'll know what my favorite songs

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but given a derby oh dear what can the

matter be Johnny so long at the fair and

now you know it it is so you could sing

it with me okay come on

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oh dear what can the matter be

so long at the thing

announcer ready oh okay now won't you

please sing your favorite song

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right now oh that's very good now let's

put our songs together uh-huh and I need

all the help I can get so you see my

song with me okay

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Shelly has a lit what are you doing I'm

singing Shelly has already why because I

like to sing alone

hey listen sherry she doesn't want to

sing with the I will yeah but Charlie

was do you have a song that goes with my

soul listen lazy Mary great let's put it

together okay

um yes

but your

please

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what do you think lambchops

yeah I like my son Charlie has at least

now got a little song to sing so sing a

little song

and she did London Bridge is falling

down falling down falling down London

Bridge is falling down

will you join me why

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oh you know what your song hush but

because with charlie horse a song or I

using lazy Mary and I'll sing London

bridges Shelley

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[Applause]

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[Applause]

the joke the joke I need a joke who's

got a joke are you okay with jungle

animals are the least trustworthy which

jungle animals are the least trustworthy

you mean some of the jungle animals are

dishonest yeah which one she is of

course

cheetahs oh that's the cat's meow

number nine and this is a number six a

six is a nine but standing on its head

why don't you ever try to see things my

way

cuz I'm older the broken hearted okay I

love all the children I've known and the

nicest of all are my own and when they

have to part it I'll be brokenhearted

it's not bad now if I can do the last

line oh hi charley horse

oh sorry I'm glad I caught you when

you're not doing something important I

am doing something important I'm writing

a song I heard it from the outside and

believe me it's not input come here

charley horse are you telling me that

you don't like my song oh no sorry it's

not that I don't like it it's not that I

don't like it

it's just that when I listen to it it

makes my teeth hurt

oh come on sharp stop that is it too

loud is it too soft is it - discordant

yeah that about covers it Charlie Rose

what do you want well um yeah all right

I'm trying to figure out next year how

much I'm gonna earn with my allowance

for too much yeah and to figure that out

what I have to do is multiply 52 weeks a

year yes there are 52 weeks a year yes I

have to multiply that by the nasally 85

cents I get each week so so who can do

that I can do that yeah look 52 that's

the week's times 85 that's how much you

get 85 cents so you say 2 times 5 is 10

you carry the 1 you say Jerry it would

be a lot easier for you if you gave me a

raise to $1 a week be a lot cheaper for

me if you live next door what's that got

to do with it Charlie would you leave me

alone I really am trying to write oh ok

uh would you play it for me what I

really would like to hear you but you

said that's okay I'll hold my teeth okay

I love all the children I've known I'll

be brokenhearted Oh Joe you're right you

are having trouble I'll see you later

where was I okay and when they've

departed I'll be brokenhearted

sweetheart what's the emergency

I'm having a bad hair day a bad hair day

all come sit down no it doesn't look so

bad yeah compared to yours oh thank you

nice is there you need a horse's tail

what is the horses down it's like a

bunny tail except it's more grown-up

well you know I have found that there's

nothing like a pretty hairband to turn a

bad hair day into a good hair day maybe

is there anything else it may be a

little less makeup with a nice sign you

know I mean is there anything else that

you would like from me yeah and now that

you doing I'm writing a song that's the

song what's wrong with my song you

brought me up that good manners I can't

see it

oh come on if you heard the whole song

I'll bet you'd like it I love all the

children I've known are my own and when

they've departed I'll be brokenhearted

your singing is making me grown a little

privacy

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I know that you're working yes and I

know that we shouldn't be disturbing you

that's true so I just thought I'd let

you know that I ain't going to disturb

you

thank you ever good again good never

fine what are you doing I'm trying to

find an ending for the song Oh would you

like to hear it well it won't take too

long

no I don't wanna miss this in this tweet

okay I love all the children I've known

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be brokenhearted it is wonderful it is

the finest thing that these floppy ears

are the hood yeah but I don't have the

ending don't mess with perfection

would it be okay for you if I left now

yes it would be perfectly okay with me

I'll see you later okay I got it all the

children I've known when they have

departed I'm not broken hearted

cause now I can finally

right my song oh it's pictured Tanya's

it's under though I've never met

you I know something you can't do I bet

your bet you betcha

I'll teach you how to do what I propose

here goes I'll bet you I can take this

plain ordinary paper napkin and this is

indeed Ramon a plain ordinary paper

napkin and I can turn it into a napkin

that is so strong you probably won't be

able to rip it in half would you like to

see that yeah okay here I go what you do

is you roll the napkin from one corner

as tightly as you can just roll and roll

and roll - you roll the whole thing up

there and now holding this napkin to the

center see if you can rip it in half

it's very hard Oh hard to rip right and

now I bet you I can rip it in half would

you like to see that yeah here's how you

do it you wet your fingers you touch the

center of the napkin and that weakens it

you just go

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Rockabye Baby in the treetop when the

wind blows the cradle will rock when the

bough breaks the cradle will fall and if

I were a baby this is not the sort of

stuff I would want to hear at all I used

to live in a place where it was cold in

the middle of the winter you do now

uh-huh I moved and I used to feel so

sorry for the birds especially the

little birds who really needed a little

help in finding food and so I've found a

funny way to feed them you take a cookie

cutter do you have a cookie cutter most

houses have a cookie cutter even if you

don't make cookies they just seem to

come with the house I don't know why

take your cookie cutter and don't cut a

cookie cut some bread just press your

cookie cutter into the bread so that you

make shapes out of the bread and then

you can eat the rest of the bread

yourself ha ha ha ha ha because bread is

delicious

all right let me get there we go and I

should now have I do I have a piece of

bread in the shape of a star

now with the point of a pencil make a

hole hokey-pokey see the point of the

pencil coming through okay and now I'm

going to thread a thread right through

that hole and then you make a loop be

nice if I cut it off the spool first you

make a loop so that you can hang your

piece of bread from a tree the next

thing that you do there

I made a loop so I can hang it from a

tree the next thing that you do is you

spread peanut butter oh that's too much

peanut butter you spread some peanut

butter onto your store there we go and

then you take

no you don't do it on both sides

goodness then you take your star and you

roll it in birdseed I have a dish of

birdseed here and when you hang that up

it is a wonderful treat for the birds

and it's a little decorative to giving

the birds star and this means that they

won't be the song called

the ants go marching one by one now did

you start with one end yeah with five oh

well you got a lot of bugs there that

was very good how do you say aunt bee

bit in French bit me he's it bit me hear

you say it let me hear you saying it

good now we all speak French oh how do

you say one end oh well we don't know if

these are curl bugs or boy bugs oh you

driving me buggy come on let's just do

this song in English we're gonna end up

with ten ants but we're going to start

with one come on and you can sing and

play along with us we'll go the ants go

marching one by one and then we'll go

the ants go marching two by two then

we'll go the ants go marching three by

three and then four by four and

by five and ten by ten and we'll go ha

ha so sing and play along with us okay

come on get your hands ready

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the ants go marching one by one the

little and stops to suck his words

marching ants go marching two by two the

ants go marching two by two the ants go

marching two by two the ants go marching

three by three the ants go marching

three by three the ants go marching

three by three the video on Lascaux home

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we're marching down in the the ants go

marching four by four by fours called

marching five by five hurrah the ants go

marching five by five the little one

said let the drive they always march

the ants go marching ten by ten the ants

go marching ten by ten hurrah hurrah the

ants go marching ten by ten

[Applause]

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knock knock who's there granny knock

knock who's there granny knock knock

who's there granny

knock knock who's there aunt aunt Oh

aunt you glad granny's gone you mad at

me

winners are not not enough when it

disappears would you like to make a not

disappear well the first thing you must

do if you want to make a knock disappear

is make a knot that's a knot is it not

I'm gonna put it down on the table now

I'm going to pick up my paper cup and

lower my knot into the paper cup lower

it right down into the paper cup now I'm

going to say the magic words

Remy Sammy Ishkabibble and when I pull

up the string the knot has completely

disappeared you want to see why it

disappeared say yes say yes I yes that's

why you see my thumb was sticking

through a hole that I made in the back

of the cup and so when I made it not and

I will now make another knot this is

another knot is it not when I made

another knot and I lowered it into the

cup

I had my thumb sticking there right

through the knot and as I pulled the

knot unraveled against my thumb and

that's how the trick is done as you can

see this is a very difficult trick nah

and now the something

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[Applause]

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okay I'll tell you another story and

I'll tell you another teddy bear story

to Mister barely this one is for you

this is a story about the treasure

what's the treasure who can tell me very

good a treasure a treasure is something

that is really valuable well a man who

owned a toy store he owned a toy store

but he had once been a thief he had gone

to jail many times tired of so much of

his life being spent behind bars he

decided at last he wasn't going to be a

thief anymore and that's how he happened

to go into the business of selling toys

well he been in the toy business for

some years when one day our robber who

had been his friend in the days when he

too had been a thief rushed into a store

and begged him for a favor this fellow

had stolen a necklace and he pleaded

with the man behind the toy counter to

hide his treasure for him at any moment

he expected to be arrested by the police

the toy seller wanted no part of this

stolen stuff and yet he and the robber

had been friends and had spent a year

and a tiny jail cell together and so it

was that this seller of toys tore open a

teddy bear and what do you think he did

when he tore open the teddy bear

you're absolutely right he put the

treasure inside the teddy bear and then

he sewed the bear up and he placed the

teddy beside 14 other teddy bears on the

shelf

well the thief who stole the jewelry was

indeed arrested and he went to jail

where he stayed for ten years and then

one day the robber came back to the toy

store and asked for his jewels the

seller of toys went to his shelf took a

teddy bear from it and cut the teddy

bear open and in five minutes he had

ripped open 13 teddy bears without

finding the precious necklace and he

realized that mistakenly he had sold the

wrong teddy bear but to whom and when

after all 10 years it passed there's

nothing really more to tell about this

story except that somewhere in this

world somebody has a teddy bear that's

worth quite a lot of money

so if you have a teddy bear shake it and

if you hear a tiny clink or a tinkle

inside that somebody could be you let's

see you shake your teddy bears hmm

silence how about you this is the song

that does it

and yes it goes on and on my friend

some people started singing it not

knowing what it was and they'll continue

singing it is for real

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how do I turn you off it goes

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I can't

okay

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this is the song

Charlie stop I want you to go away go

away and don't slam the door

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and by viewers like you

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