04x19 - Chimpmania/Dad Jokes

[bunniefuu]

♪ Watch out, 'cause here we come ♪

♪ It's been a while,
but we're back with style ♪

♪ So get set to have some fun ♪

♪ We'll bring you action
and satisfaction ♪

♪ We're the Chipmunks ♪

♪ Alvin, Simon, Theodore ♪

♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

{\an8}♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

[rings bell]
Good morning, Miss Croner!

For you, maybe.

-Hi, Miss Miller!
-Hello, dear!

Hi, Neville!

What?

-Hey, Bocarter?
-What?

Uh... Wasn't that
a baby chimp in a cage

I just saw in your front window?

Yes!
And he cost a pretty penny, too.

You can't keep that adorable animal
in a cage like that!

It's... it's cruel!

Who do you think you are
telling me what to do with my pet?

Why am I even talking to you?

So, we have to break him out of there.

Oh! That poor little guy!
I'm in!

Me too!

Guys, I got this, all right?

Now, first, we borrow a helicopter.

Simon, you'll do the driving.

Alvin, please don't do this!

[Alvin] And while you hover
above Bo's house,

I lower myself
down the rope ladder

and use one of those
circular glass-cutter things

to cut a hole
in the front window.

Then, bam! We grab the chimp
and take him to...

we take him to...

An animal sanctuary.
And this is how we'll do it.

So, first, Brittany,
you go to the Humphrey's

and create a distraction.

When the butler cleans the cage,
he puts the chimp in the pantry.

Then, while Theodore and Eleanor
distract Bocarter,

Simon, Alvin and I
will sneak in the back way.

Now,
time for Brittany's distraction.

[smashes pottery]

With the butler outside,
checking on the noise,

we have our chance
to free the chimpanzee!

And that's that!

A helicopter mission
would have been more fun.

Let's get him out of the bag!

That was fun!
Can we do it again?

Neville?

What were you doing
in the pantry?

Nothing! I definitely
was not stealing treats!

So where's the chimp?

Maybe he's back in his stupid cage.

I'm so sick
of talking about this monkey!

Oh! This is terrible!

I mean,
how do we rescue him now?

[Neville] I can help.

May I ask
why you would do that?

He gets all the attention

and no one wants
to play with me any more.

Works for me.

Um, Bo?

-What, Neville?
-Would you play pirates with me?

No.

-Can I play doubles with you?
-No.

-Are you smart?
-No.

-Are you handsome?
-No.

Hmm. Let's see,
what should I ask next?

Do you like the colour red?
Green? Blue?

Pink poop colour?

No! No! No!

Neville?

OK. Let's get him out!

Aw!

Here, little guy.

Aw!

Oh...

[sniffs]

[sniffs]

I was, uh,
saving those for, uh...

well, you know, in case I ever
had a baby monkey in my room.

-[door bell rings]
-Who's that?

Well, well, well.
If it isn't my old friend Dave Seville.

Funny running into you here.

-I live here.
-Uh-huh.

Well, I just came by to...

-Why did you do that?
-Do what?

You stepped in front of me
like you were hiding something.

-[gasps] You are, aren't you?
-I'm not hiding anything!

-Then why'd you do that?
-Do what?

-You stepped in front of me!
-I don't know. Instinct?

[gasps]

It's Officer Dangus!

Quick, guys!
We have to hide him! Fast!

[shrieks]

Can you please tell me
what this is about?

Kidnapping.
Chimp-nabbing, technically.

I don't know the technical term,

but the Humphrey's
chimpanzee's gone missing,

and they suspect foul play.

The perpetrators can't be far,
so we're checking nearby houses.

Oh, OK! Well, we certainly don't have
any chimpanzees around here.

[shrieking]

I got him! Oh!

We have to get him to our place!

[gasps] Quick! The zip line.

You know, Seville,
I think the sound came from...

What the...?
What was that?

Aaah! Oh!
Oh, it's you, Officer Dangus. Sorry.

I thought you were a burglar.
Are you OK?

Ugh! Is this... Is this poo?
Uh-huh. OK.

Well, it's a good tactic for burglars,
I will give you that.

Please excuse me.

[vomiting]

Get out. Get out. Get out of me.

And was that you
screaming just now?

Oh, that? Yeah. I always scream like that
when I get startled.

[imitates chimp's scream]

OK! I've seen enough! Good day!

Oh, thank you!

Good news!

The Save Our Wildlife association
can take him!

[all] Yeah!

Yeah, but, uh, well,
they can't be here for two days.

[gasps] What are we gonna
do with him for two days?

Give me my brush!

Well, can we leave him here?

What? No!

This place is too small.
You've gotta take him back.

We can't hide him from Dave
for two days!

h*, h*, h*! Yes.
I might have an idea.

[Chipmunk song playing]

-[Theodore] He's acting crazy!
-What do you expect?

He's meant to be in the wild.

What are you gonna do,
teach him the ukulele?

No, I'm going to calm him down.

Good luck with that!

♪ Stars, like diamonds
Show off their lustre ♪

♪ Maybe they're proud
Of their place in the sky ♪

♪ We can shine too ♪

♪ Help me, I'll help you ♪

♪ And when things get rough
I will say this to you ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ It's OK ♪

♪ We're friends
And we're in this together ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ It's OK ♪

♪ We're friends
And we're in this together ♪

♪ And that's how
It always must stay ♪

Show's over! You should know
Neville can't keep a secret.

-Give me back my monkey!
-[shrieks]

No!

[Jeanette] Oh, please!

[Jeanette] Wait!

Bo, stop!

Well, I can't believe it!

You're right, Bo!
Our neighbours are thieves!

Uh-uh! We are not!

He's my property
and you took him.

All right! Anyone explain
what the heck is going on?

Officer,
perhaps you can help us solve

the definition of "property"
to these young, uneducated minds?

What did you say?

I didn't understand
half of what you just said.

I'm here to hand over
a list of citations and fines

on behalf of this furry ball
of frustration over here.

Kidnapping a baby,
disturbing the peace, littering,

throwing diapers
in the faces of innocent people.

Yeah, that happened!

Now, wait a minute,
our chimp was taken from us

during the time
of these infractions.

We can't be held responsible.

But I helped!

I said, "Please take this monkey
away from me and my brother!"

I don't want him, Daddy!
I don't like him!

Quiet, Neville.

Oh! So you are responsible then!

-No!
-Not my monkey, not my problem?

Guess what? It is!
Boom! Busted, sucker!

Go on! Take him!

-But, Daddy...
-Quiet!

Fine,
but I'm not happy about this!

Come on,
let's get you outta here!

Hi, little one.
Would you like to come with me?

Wait!

I want you to have this.

[Theodore] Oh, I...

-I miss him.
-[Eleanor] Me too.

[all] Yeah.

Guys, look! The wildlife
sanctuary has video cameras!

[music playing]

[gasps] Is... is that him
playing the ukulele?

Yep!

Well, that sounds great!

I'm so flattered
you thought of me.

Between you and me,
I've always wanted to try standup!

-Who... who's he talking to?
-I don't know.

-[whispering] Dave! Dave!
-Go away!

Oh! Not you, Miss Smith!

He's talking to Miss Smith!

-Stop it!
-Dave! Dave! Dave!

OK. Well, I'll see you
next Tuesday night, then.

And I will be there
with bells on!

[laughs]

No? All right. Bye!

Bells on...

Well, you are looking at the next MC

for the parent charity auction!

Wow! That's amazing!

What's an MC?

I'll be hosting the show,
Theodore.

And Miss Smith asked me
to do a little comedy routine.

What? No! No! Dave, you have
to be funny to do a comedy routine!

No joke!

[laughter]

-No joke...
-Dave, this is serious!

You got to be good and this stuff
doesn't come naturally to people.

Look, Alvin, I'm nervous enough, OK?

I don't need you
making me more uptight.

Dave. Dave. Dave.
You see, that nervous feeling,

you know,
that nervous feeling is your instinct

telling you not to do this!

You know how you always tell me
to listen to my instincts?

No! No, Alvin. I tell you
not to listen to your instincts!

OK, I guess I wasn't listening.

But, Dave, the point is...

No, the point is

I'm going to do this
whether you like it or not.

Dave, Dave, I say this
from the bottom of my heart.

You're just not funny!

Oh, really?
Well, tell me this...

What do you call cheese
that's not yours?

I don't know! Someone else's?

Nacho cheese!

Ha! Ha! Nacho cheese!

[laughter]

That's good.
That's... that's really funny.

Who's cheese is this? Nachos!

[laughs] That's... that's funny.

Dave, Dave,
you're gonna be good!

Simon, Simon,
I'll give it to you straight.

Dave is about to make a huge,
colossal mistake!

Well, I'm all for it.
He'll make a great MC.

Wait a minute.
You really think that?

-Yes, I do.
-OK. All right.

Let's try this then, OK?
Both of you now just close your eyes.

It's the night
of the performance,

the place is packed
and they really want to laugh.

But then, Dave tells them
his first joke...

So, what do you call
fake spaghetti?

An impasta!

[someone coughs]

Hey, did you hear about
the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, but no atmosphere.

[man] You're not funny!

I am too!

Hey, stop it!

But... but where
did they get the tomatoes?

And... and how did they even know
to bring tomatoes?

Will you just forget
about the tomatoes?

He won't be bad,
he just needs some help.

-And we can help him.
-I'm with Theodore on this one.

Don't you guys understand?

I'm just trying to do
what's best for Dave!

What do you get
when you cross a...?

Oh! Hey, Theodore.
I'm just practising.

Well, I brought you some things.
You know, in case you choke.

-Choke?
-Yeah, you know,

get so nervous
that you forget everything

or... or if no one laughs
at your jokes

and then you're in front
of all those people

-and you start sweating...
-Thank you, Theodore. I get it.

-What is it?
-Funny props!

Put these on, Dave.

Ha, ha, ha! Oh, Dave!

That's... that's hilarious!

OK. OK.
Now... now move like this.

Oh! No. Thank you.

No, no, no.
Come on, Dave. Just try it.

Oh, all right.

Ha! That's...

[laughing] that's gonna be
a crowd pleaser. I promise you!

Ha, ha, ha!

-What's so funny?
-Look! Dave! Dave, do it!

-Do it again!
-[groans]

Ha, ha, ha, ha!

It doesn't...
it doesn't get old! Ha, ha!

OK, no. Uh-uh.
That's not happening.

Yeah. Give me the box, Dave.

Um, Dave,

why don't you just
practise the jokes you have?

Guys, come on,
it's not that big a deal!

OK, then do it.

OK, OK, fine.

Uh-uh. Uh-uh.

-Out ya go.
-What?

We only want positive energy.

Is that what you'll say
to the audience?

It'll be a lot better for Dave
without your negative comments.

Wait! Wait! Wait! I'm trying
to save him from himself!

[Chipmunk song playing]

No!

Hello! Hello!
Police Department?

Yes! Yes! I'd like to report
a stolen car!

What? What?
What's the licence plate?

Oh, hold on, hold on.

A34 AWK.

And please hurry!

I think he's going towards the school,
like, now!

Alvin? Alvin? Are you in here?

Come on! We have to leave now!

Guys, there's still time.

We can't let Dave
get up on that stage!

He's gonna be so hurt
when he bombs!

Alvin, he's doing this for us.

What? No, he's not!

He... he told us he was really afraid
and very nervous,

but if he didn't get on stage
and, you know, face his fear,

then he couldn't expect us to.

He said,
"Failing is just a... a..."

-Step.
-Right. "...to, um..."

-Success.
-Yeah! Yeah!

If you don't let it stop you.

Oh! Never thought of that.

Guys, come on.
We've got to get going.

Dave! It's gonna be great!

Oh, thank you, Alvin.
I hope so.

It will! It will! And no matter what
anyone says, you're the best! OK?

So, come on!

Well... Thanks.

Alvin, you shouldn't text and drive.

Theodore, come on.
That's for the driver.

I need to check
on a homework assignment here.

Ha, ha, ha! Homework, right.
So, who's the unlucky girl?

"Disregard earlier call."

-Give it back!
-Ooh! Ha, ha! It must be love!

-[arguing]
-[police sirens]

Guys! Knock it off!

[policeman] Stay in the vehicle!
Do not move!

Well, well, well.

If you'd have told me
that Dave Seville

would be stealing cars
and teaching his kids to be thieves,

I'd be like, "No way, José!"
But it's right in front of my eyes!

Actually, Officer,
there's been a terrible mistake.

You! Shush!

-This is a rental car!
-Uh-huh. The old "rental car" excuse.

Like I never heard that before.

Officer Dangus,
ignore the alert.

We received a text
from the car rental.

OK, well, sometimes the rental car excuse
is a good excuse.

That was the text
you were writing? "Disregard call"?

You called the police on Dave?

[everyone shouts at Alvin]

Guys! I know it's wrong.
I should be grounded!

But I was just worried Dave would
get hurt when he bombed on stage!

Stage? What stage?

I'm MC'ing
a talent show tonight.

-In fact, I'm gonna be late!
-Follow me! I'm on it!

[siren blares out]

OK. OK, everyone,
settle down.

Settle down... Quiet!

[silence falls]

And please give a warm welcome
to our new host, David Seville.

[applause]

Um... OK, um... Here it goes.

Oh! Oh! Oops!

-Tell us a joke!
-Getting... getting to that.

Just... just gimme
a second here.

Officer Dangus,
can you check everyone

and make sure
they didn't bring in tomatoes?

OK. OK.

So, Theodore asked me
the other day,

"Um, can I have a book mark?"

I mean, you can imagine
I was, you know, really hurt,

because after
all these years together,

you know,
he still doesn't know my name!

-Ha!
-[someone coughs]

You know, like... as if he was
confusing my name with Mark.

-Yeah, no, we got it!
-Hey! Hey! Be nice!

Yeah, yeah, you know,
uh, funny... funny story,

you know, uh...
my drummer friend and his wife

had twin girls

and, uh, well, you know...

So, their names are,
Anna One, Anna two...

-[chuckles nervously]
-Ha!

[yawns]

Um, OK... uh,

hey, so...
I gotta tell you guys, um...

I'm a little frazzled already,
and my son Alvin

was so embarrassed
by the fact that I was gonna do this,

that he... well,
he called the cops to arrest me.

[eruption of laughter]

-Ha, ha, ha!
-Yes! Yes! But I can explain.

-Sit down.
-And then there was this time

he was hiding a dog in the house
and when I stepped in its poo,

he blamed it on Theodore.

[laughter]

Theodore was so afraid
I'd b*mb tonight

that he wanted me to have
something to fall back on.

Let me show you
what he gave me.

[laughter]

And he told me
to walk like this.

[laughter]

Ha! See? See? They're laughing!

This is rich!
I've waited a long time for this.

Tell everyone about that time
Alvin borrowed your credit card

-and bought that boat!
-Wait. Hold on. What?

He doesn't know about that,
Cheesy!

Uh... never mind!

OK, guys.
Everyone, say it with me now...

[all] Alvin!

♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪