01x29 - Bigger is Better

[bunniefuu]

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if you're into fun and you love to play

if you like funny jokes they put you

away if you like to dance to a sound and

your little buddy you're about to see

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yeah it's lambchops play-along

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yeah and especially you do you have a

toothpick if you have a toothpick you

have a betcha

what kind of a betcha I'll show you you

break your toothpick and a half oh I

broke my toothpick in half there's half

a toothpick now you say to your friends

I bet you that I can balance this little

bit of a toothpick on my thumb without

ramming it under my nail or anything

like that and then your friends will try

to balance it on their thumb you know

like this and of course it won't balance

it'll just fall off and then you take

the other half of the toothpick and

here's how you balance it on your thumb

you bend your thumb so that the knuckle

is straightened out then you put the

little bit of a toothpick into the folds

of the knuckle and just straighten out

your thumb and there I am balancing the

toothpick on my thumb is that nothing

well it's a betcha and I did it you can

do it to try it

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jump up and down now anyway you please

don't forget to stop when I say freeze

and freeze like a statue like you made a

stone of course when I will say it

that's a big unknown just keep on

jumping

you please everybody stops when I say

huh say it I'm gonna say it soon but I'm

not saying when I freeze okay now we go

along with us

everybody wiggle any way you please

everybody stop when I say freeze and

freeze like a statue that you've made a

stone for swim I will say if that's the

big unknown now keep on wiggling any way

you please and everybody stop when I say

huh I didn't say that I'm gonna say it

but freeze everybody

please everybody stopped when I say

freeze it freeze like like you made the

stone of course sweet I will say it

that's the big uh no but now keep on

skipping any way you please and

everybody stop when I say I didn't say

it there

unfreeze everybody March now

everybody stop when I say free

and freeze like that statue made of

stone

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that's a big'un no but now keep marching

any way you please everybody stop when I

say freeze Lambchop you know I'm always

surprised when I see you still sucking

your thumb doesn't have a body

no I don't think I ever did it oh you

ought to try it why it's the perfect

happy I mean it's the perfect habit no

serious side effects oh do you know I

have heard people say that it affects

your nobody ever died from buck teeth

well you my darling have been sucking

your thumb since you were a little baby

you try this please I'm sucking my thumb

when I was a little baby

did you tell me tell me tell me tell me

tell me

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maybe take your thumb out of your mouth

oh oh come on take it out what you're

doing it's like my thumb is left it's

wet well you shouldn't be sucking it

it's good thank you

you know sweetheart maybe in a year or

two it'll be time for you to stop

sucking your thumb

crying well the truth is I don't think I

ever tried sucking my thumb in lessons

thumb sucking lessons yes all right what

do we do just you just consecrate how I

dance a consecrate yeah all right I'm

consecrating what do I do

yes make a fist

make a fist all right I made a fist Oh

with the other hand oh I'm sorry oh are

you all right

accept other migraine I'm very sorry

okay I made a fist now what now make

farid you are hitchhiking no hitchhike

toward yourself okay

and now stick it in your mouth oh I get

it

when you suck your thumb you have to put

your thumb in the hole now yes silly

don't stick it in your ear well how do

you suck that like this

yeah you better get that thing in honey

till you get it broken in Oh

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straighten your socks

why did the hippopotamus cross the road

like that it must cross the road because

it was the chickens day off it was the

chicken

[Laughter]

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lemme hey hey yeah yeah what's the

matter with you nothing

are you sick now you're tired now you

said mom you mad at me yeah you mad at

them

Wow just checking are you mad as anybody

no yes no did charley horse do something

now well then why aren't you playing

with him deep players tell you it

doesn't want to play with me papa -

puppy he doesn't want to play with me

neither nobody wants to play with me why

not because I'm too small everybody says

are no fun my darling I'll play with you

now thanks you're no fun either

oh thank you very much look I want you

to cheer up I am up this is up for me

I'm not gonna get any bigger I mean I am

NOT standing at all in the ground

I am NOT on my knees what are you

talking about I want to be bigger I'm

going to be taller than tall yes telling

us always says I'm Tilly I'm too small I

can't catch good I can't throw far I I

can't run fast no team on the last one

day thick and too short darling the boys

love you yeah yeah yeah they do how come

today they said to me hey lamb chappie

how's the weather down there they didn't

he did and you know it's all you said

what he said let's run to you grumpy

dopey or sneezy Oh lamb chop and you

know yeah I know how's Buffy oh he was

telling the joke to telling us and they

wouldn't tell it to me why not

they said I'm so short it would go right

my head oh hi Lambchop hi little any pie

by lambda

hey where you where are you guys going

well we're gonna go play basketball Oh

could I play I know how to play good all

right let's see you Lance your plot pull

in your knees to your chest good now put

your head down and now pull in your arms

sure you can play basketball with us you

can be the basketball Oh charlie oh come

on hush puppy we're out of here oh well

maybe you could play with us when you

get a little bigger darling

maybe oh yeah I don't want to play with

you yeah oh there's somebody who needs a

nap no I don't want to take a nap put

your head down now no no I assure you

when you I don't line up darling when

you wake up things are gonna look a

little different I doubt it I may be

rested but I won't be taller

I wish I was big I want to be big bigger

biggest I want to be enormous I really I

didn't mean to hit you on the head

darling you're very cold mother very

good you look like one of them very good

things in my storybook don't you cook it

mother in the mouth I am here to grant

you to me we should sing races

way to go awesome I think so

absolutely I wish it but to be careful I

know exactly where I wanna race for I

wish I want to be big oh oh

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repeat after me any food I want to be

bigger really talk I want to be bigger

really tall

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oh look at you how you've grown

Oh be careful fawning only pool wishes

left

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don't worry if you're very small and

your skills are few remember that the

mighty oak was once a nut like you no

offense meant

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come on come on lamb chop let me play

are you kidding

if you were taller you'd be sure please

lamb chop please I'm sorry I wouldn't

let you play basketball Shh sherry and I

have songs to sing and things to play

bye ouch it hurts when they won't let

you play hmm did it ever occur to you

that just because you don't feel like

walking some days maybe some party a

body wants to go for a walk maybe your

nose needs to walk maybe your

bellybutton needs to walk and how about

your chin be a sport

take the chin for a walk

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can we take today take your elbows for a

wall if your elbows

I'm so sure they would say

let's walk today

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take your cheeks for a walk get the

sheets they had a tongue so she

they would say can we take the walk

today

take your cheeks out for a walk this is

your Chi 2 how to talk I would bet you

they would say we would like

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[Applause]

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your body

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it's fun to be bigger now I want to be

bigger

if you insist Ollie you're going to be

bigger taller then maybe godmother

don't fail me now darling sweetheart

that was just a terrible dream it

certainly was I was all alone and I was

bumping into things and I was big big

sweetheart sweetheart I'm here now and I

think I've found a solution to your

problem Oh nobody can help me why not

darling because I'm simply smaller than

anybody and everybody picks on me and

they believe me and be push me around

and nobody wants to play with me and I

just don't look what I got for you

little catch see you it is and know

you'll have somebody to play with

yes and I can push it around and I can

bully it hmm and I can do all kinds of

things like that yeah yeah but then if

you if you bully it and push it around

you'll be doing to the Pussycat what

everybody does to you I know finally

I'll be wrong

come on he'll follow me kiss me

oh and I got this kitten train do the

buses run on time do the buses run on

time usually yes no they want on meals

this is a Christmas story but I can't

wait so I'm gonna tell it to you now and

it's the story in which you have not one

part not two parts you've got four or

five parts and they're all funny now of

course a Christmas story has a character

in it that everybody knows that his name

is and whenever I mentioned Santa Claus

you guys at home can go home and you can

do it so let's try it this is a story

about Santa Claus and it's also a story

about an evil emperor yeah he's so evil

you go boo whenever I mention his name

now of course Santa Claus has reindeer

now Santa Clauses toys are made by a

dopey elf and you can make a dopey Elsa

is there anything else I wonder if I

have forgotten any of them Superman okay

this is the story about somebody who

makes 1 million 6-inch wind up Superman

dolls that's what we decided we would

shout whenever I talked about the

Superman dolls up in the North Pole

there lived with his 8 right here and

his chief toymaker the dopey Oh

now deep in the earth lived the

mastermind of all criminals the evil

emperor one year not so long ago santa

claus was standing in the snow brushing

his reindeer winds blew all around him

at that very moment all of the criminals

on the whole earth were down in a deep

cave listening to the evil emperor there

was thousands and thousands and

thousands of criminals and the evil

emperor shouted and they all yelled you

are the evil emperor and of all of us

who is the meanest bellowed the evil

emperor boom

and they screamed you are the evil

emperor and who is going to lead you on

the greatest mass robbery in the history

of the earth hist

the evil emperor and they chanted you

are you are the evil emperor this

Christmas at exactly five minutes after

4:00 in the morning when everyone is

asleep and Santa Claus has already

returned to the North Pole with his

reindeer

we will creep into all the houses where

Santa Claus who has been and we will

steal every present in the world

a bad man was the evil emperor

meanwhile at the North Pole Santa Claus

Oh caught a terrible cold and so mrs.

Claus put Santa Claus that's right now

every Christmas the chief toymaker the

dopey L invented a new and wonderful toy

and this Christmas the dopey elf a

six-inch high wind up Superman doll

which by the way when wound up would fly

faster than a speeding b*llet

but with Santa Claus in bed the dopey

elf lazy he stopped making Superman

dolls and two nights before Christmas

when Santa Claus found his magic toy bag

was still empty he was furious

of course the dopey elf apologized and

immediately began to make 1 million

Superman doll however the night before

Christmas the Superman dolls still not

finished but the dopey elf

says he said Santa Claus Oh take your

reindeer deliver whatever presents

you've got my Superman dolls will

deliver themselves and that night the

dopey elf finished making all the windup

toys he took the maps outside and he

wound up 1 million Superman doll all

over earth the bad people waited for the

stroke of 4:00 a.m. in order to carry

out the evil plan oh the evil emperor

now the dopey elf

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do nothing of the terrible plans of the

evil emperor

it was very happy and one after another

the Superman doll took off from the

North Pole

they took off one after another and at

exactly five minutes after 4:00 in the

morning

the Superman dolls rived at the homes of

children that Santa Claus and the

reindeer had already visited now in his

secret cave the evil emperor was all

chuckling over the facts that he was

going to have all of the Christmas gifts

given to the children by Santa Claus

that moment there was a terrible shaking

of the whole earth it's an earthquake

yelled the evil emperor but it wasn't

you know it was merely the shockwave of

1 million tiny fists smashing against a

lot of terrible people who were sneaking

out of homes everywhere with stolen

Christmas presents pow smash of 1

million tiny little Superman doll it's

amazing that the sounds of fighting

everywhere didn't wake everybody up I

suppose the people were exhausted from

decorating their trees but it's

certainly true that all of the Christmas

presents

were saved and it's also true that

nobody was aware that at 4:05 while

everybody slept soundly one Christmas

morning not long ago the evil emperor

and thousands of criminals all over the

world were brought to justice by a g*ng

of powerful 6-inch high wind up this is

the song that does it and yes it goes on

and on my friend some people started

singing it not knowing what it was and

they'll continue singing it is forever

just because

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how do I turn you off

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some people

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this is the song that Charlie horse

no no stop stop stop Charlie stop I want

you to go away no way

I don't slam the door

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