01x23 - Obedience School

[bunniefuu]

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if you're into fun and you love to play

if you like funny jokes what's your way

if you like to dance to a slamming sound

and you like having lots of friends Ryan

if you're one of those it slips by the

rule that said is cool little buddy

you're about to see you're at the very

best place

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in your chair everywhere

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and especially you I'm going to teach

you a trick that my Papa taught me when

I was a little girl and it's a really

good trick you start with a penny and a

quarter you put the penny on top of the

quarter and you say now I'm going to

remove the penny and put it in my pocket

and you close your hand real tight and

then you say to your friends where's the

penny and they say it's in your pocket

and you say no it's back in my hand and

they'll be shocked because they won't

know how it's done only I'm gonna tell

you here's how it's done into your hand

you put a penny on top of it you put a

quarter the secret to the trick is that

you got two pennies so you put the other

penny

on top you understand you have a penny

underneath a quarter in the middle of

the sandwich and a penny on top it's a

penny sandwich then when you take this

penny away you close your hand and what

are you really doing you're turning the

coins upside down so the bottom penny is

now on top of the quarter so when you

say to your friends where's the penny

they'll say it's in your pocket you say

no it's back in my hand and it doesn't

make any sense to tell them ah just say

it's magic from my master because he's

very rich but don't give any world to me

because what makes me itch

we're going to play a game and it's

called my hat it has three corners you

got a corner like mine sure you do let

me see your corner good now it's about a

three-cornered hat what is a

three-cornered hat that is a

three-cornered hat and at the time of

the American Revolution of 200 and some

years ago people wore one two three

sided hats the soldiers did specially

Brian you want to put on the

three-cornered hat and now you look like

a revolutionary soldier and they wore

three-cornered hats way before that this

is called a Holman Taschen and it's

named after a rotten guy named Haman and

he used to wear three-cornered hats or

so it is said and when he and when he

died this is back in the time of the

Bible and when they k*lled him boy they

were so happy they made a pastry in the

shape of his hat and the may ate his hat

dip the girls wear a three-cornered hot

sauce oh I don't think so I don't think

so I don't think the girls would okay if

the girls didn't do it then now there's

nothing girls can't do you can wear a

three-cornered hat and we want you to

sing and play along with us

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okay now here's the game part we're not

gonna say the word hat we're gonna say

my it has three corners all right

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three corners

and has it not me

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now we're going to leave out the words

three and save my it has corners okay

yes corners now we're going to leave out

the word corners we're gonna say my it

has come on let's do it

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has my

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was that good

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you know when you do a groaner I mean

something that's so silly

people will go oh and then they'll turn

around and do it to the next person they

need always this is a groaner you say I

betcha that I can stick out my tongue

and touch my ear and that everybody will

make funny faces and go mmm try to touch

that tongue with their and touch their

ear with their tongue and when they're

all finished making those funny faces

you do what you said you were going to

you stick out your tongue and you touch

your ear doggone dog eye candy I want

you to be proud of me my darling I'm

proud of you you're a wonderful dog I

know I'm just a Murshid push it push it

come on you're very smart oh come on you

still sherry remember yesterday you sent

me to fetch the newspaper and I brung

back your slippers well I can happen to

anybody

yeah but you was wearing under the time

well I forgive you yeah like I don't I

want to be better I want to be obedient

okay I give up hush puppy what are you

driving at well you know Sidney

schnauzer and Donnie Doberman yes but

nowadays all DeeDee and they are Oh

obedient and would you like to know why

I have a feeling I'm gonna find out yeah

there is obedient because they go to

obedience school I understand and you

want to go to oh ma didn't aunt wants to

go to a picnic yeah but darling you

don't need obedience school you are

obedient yeah but everybody else that's

different you want to go to obedience

school because everybody else goes yeah

is dad and also because if you ezel

didn't take its you or cookie the next

time that you are playing a game with a

friend and it's a game where you have to

keep score and oh you don't have a

pencil and paper don't worry

keeping score can be as much fun as

playing the game here's one way to keep

score you give your friend and yourself

equal amounts of a favorite drink I like

orange juice because it looks so pretty

against my purple yeah that's yours

that's yours because you're playing with

me and then each player gets a big spoon

and when any player scores a point that

player gets to remove and mmm drink

one spoonful of the favorite drink and

whichever player empties the glass first

is the winner and this is one way that

you can play with your food and your

mother will not object

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oh I know

hushpuppy yeah I shrieked what is that

other what was that it wasn't there nice

pillow and what happened what did you do

to it I ate it I like all the much

better than feathers how you know what

I've been eating oh you got a piece of

foam rubber on your chin lamb chop I'm

handling this that's hush puppies look

is no doubt about it

I know I thought these were can I see it

and that's it lamb chop I'm handling it

okay hush puppy how could you do a thing

like this

whoa is easy it's just knit to this

little pillow I remember the time I ate

your big red sofa I was really

disappeared in that day oh you're gonna

get it no doubt about it you're gonna

get it isn't a girl lamb chop I'm

handling it okay you can

Thank You lamb chop I'm handling it I

know I know

they couldn't Ike isn't just one smack

no no hush puppy you are going to

obedience school ah don't tell me

Fido breath is gonna get his wish Oh

Cherie that's so exciting

Sidney schnauzer Donny doesn't in here

no wrong

you're gonna go to obedience school here

with me I am going to be your teacher

oh no oh yes oh no Donny no Sidney I'm

gonna give you a cookie every time

you're obedient

no kid no kidding oh well later goat

when do we start

give me your knock-knock joke oh he's

done

tell me how come

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give me your knock-knock joke please

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who's there so Soho surprise it's me

well they can't all be good this is it

this is what this is obedience school

yeah where are the others what others

well good night lineup who do i lineup

behind

Oh No lamb chop I am the other lamb chop

a you are not a dog yeah better lamb

chop I'm sorry you have to go

this is obedience school no disobedience

maybe if we don't pay any attention

though she'll go away nobody ever pays

attention to me and I'm still here

but I ain't gonna pay her no mind you

Cherie I'm not even gonna look at her no

me neither

all right now hush puppy the first

command that a dog has to learn is no no

yes yes no yes which one is it now

it's no you lunkhead you hear anything

Cherie I didn't hear a thing neither did

i okay now have you got it and I got a

lot no yes are you sure

no oh well now you've got it no I got a

lot no no no this dog lamb chop sticks

and stones will break my bones but names

will hurt my feelings

Oh lamb chop look what you did you hurt

his feelings

I'm sorry hush puppy that was so mean

I'm sorry i stuffy I was just running

around telling you you're not a dumb dog

you're so smart you're the smartest dog

I well thank you land shelter that's

very nicely I feel much better now

yes I feel like a million bucks that was

nice of your lamb chop making hush puppy

feel better

yeah but I certainly didn't tell the

truth well you know sometimes when

you're trying to make somebody feel

better you bend the truth just a little

bit

I didn't bend the truth I broke it into

pieces we've got two jokes for you yeah

I got it Chuck and I've got a joke me

first your first okay

joke is how do you get nuts from a

squirrel I give up

how do you get nuts then this glove you

say stick them up I think that's

hilarious barely funny all right you

tell your joke okay my joke is what

animal can jump higher than a tree

alright give up what animal can jump

higher than a tree any animal trees

can't jump thought you weren't supposed

to laugh at your own joke he sent me a

bad example

and with the power vested in me as the

head of Sherry's obedience school I

hereby grant this diploma to hushpuppy

congratulations oh thank you sherry

thank you everybody one and all I'm very

grateful this is the happiest day of my

entire life

well no it's one of the happiest days do

you oughta happiest day was today we

went to the bakery and I fell into that

wedding cake oh yes I remember that that

was the best ice and I love the tasting

I can't wait to get married yes yes I

mean I never tasted whipped cream and

fudge together right I think that's

enough that's what I thought till I hit

the strawberries are you finished

no I'm just getting to the coconut dream

Radha Jake okay it's a riddle

now I have a dream where I'm climbing a

mountain and it suddenly you know in my

dream a great big grizzly bear is

chasing me and in my dream I get to the

end of a cliff and I have to either face

that bear or jump No

can you guess what two words will solve

my problem immediately wake up you know

I've always been bewildered when I read

the story of The Tortoise and the hare

as to what a tortoise really was and

what a hare really was I got you a

tortoise to look at this is a galapagos

tortoise it's the kind that's on the

Galapagos Islands which is a group of

islands 600 miles off the coast of South

America and I was in the Galapagos on

the Galapagos Islands and I just

realized they like to eat fallen or

puntilla leaves which are yellow he may

very well eat my pants do you know what

is the difference between a tortoise and

a turtle a tortoise is a land turtle now

let's move on to the hair this is not a

hair this is a rabbit it's a floppy

eared rabbit and so darling rabbit the

difference between a rabbit and a hair

is hares are wild hares a wild and they

are generally of a family that's bigger

than rabbits and they're not floppier

their ears go up in the air so that's

the difference between a hare and a

rabbit and I want to thank the San Diego

Zoo for giving me this thrilling

variance of handling a Galapagos turtle

and a floppy earth bunny

we're gonna do a story and it's not just

Patrick and uracil 'im and the kids who

are here are gonna do the story y'all

gonna do the story with us - we're gonna

do the story of The Tortoise and the

hare and the tortoise is very slow isn't

he Patrick and when he plods along how

do you think he plugs ok that's right

they're having a race but the tortoise

is slow and so every time I mention the

tortoise you guys can go and remember

he's very slow and the hare what's a

hare big rabbit okay let me see your

hair okay let me see all right no okay

whenever I talk about it here whenever I

talk about it here you can either go

like this or like this whichever you

want okay

this is the story of The Tortoise and

the hare here we go Once Upon a Time The

Tortoise and the hare raced Once Upon a

Time everybody was there the dog and the

bull and the bear they all had come to

see The Tortoise race the boastful hare

the tortoise looked around and he saw

friendly faces and then the bugle

sounded and they all took their places

went the starter's g*n shrimp the hare

he was off in the wink of an eye he ran

around the tree and jumped the rock was

also cross the field and as he ran he

cry for speed there is no other to

compare follow me if you dare on my hair

and while he raised the tortoise where

oh where was he why he had hardly left

the starting line as far as anyone could

see

1 foot 2 foot 3 foot 12 foot

oh how that tortoise would creep and so

while he crept the hare who thought he'd

won the race lay down and went to sleep

and while he slept the tortoise who

never ceased to try waddled on and very

soon he passed the hare why he went one

foot to foot for foot hey I'm doing fine

one foot foot foot finish line you see

the hare was fast but the hare lost face

he turned away he was in disgrace the

story's old but it proves the case that

slow and steady wins the race

v hey did you do it

give yourselves a great big hand

[Applause]

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there was a young lady named Steele who

when asked if her hair was quite real

replied with a shrug just give it a tug

and judge by the way that I squealed I

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don't have a brother or sisters but I'm

going to have one I really yeah you can

have a brother or a sister we don't know

yet

oh they're both nice you know yeah I

know

brothers and sisters are nicely yes yeah

when they globe a hydro beard what

wouldn't they dope it out a little bit

what finagle bit odd go Big O when they

go big you go baby

yeah I got it sorry sorry I needed to

think about that a little bit you have

any dog ezel but CK no because my dad is

allergic to allergic oh I'm so glad that

Shelly isn't allergic to sheep this is a

miniature horse and the truth is this

horse used to belong to Elvis Presley

listen carrots and when Elvis Presley

died the horse was given to the San

Diego Zoo and he's come to visit today

and we're going to do a song story game

all three in his honor and you can play

too that's my foot

want to play one see rain made a flood

turn the hard ground tum mud all the

earth became a sea of course that was

long before you and me

they say that Noah's sent a call to all

of the animals and said you all must

join me on a boat that's called an ark

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the sky grows dark are you here setting

our looking for the goat

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build an ark that's gonna

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49 so more

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set the goat I'll go get my coat

what did the coach say man says the coat

I'll go get my coat

what did the goat say I'll come at a boy

are you here said I was looking for the

troll

it's getting old

don't you know

and it's gonna rain

night

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said the crow I go with the flow

what did the crow say says the crow I'd

go with Sloane what did the crow say

what difficult say I'm coming aboard

are you here setting our

for the fee

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but it's gonna rain 40 days 40 nights

and more and we don't

sure said to be his

three what did the B says

as long as it's free but the piece

what did the crow say what did the goat

say I'm coming aboard

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you better not be slow the winds of love

with s'mores and it's gonna rain for 40

days and 40 nights more and be dumped

hey said the horse I'm packin of course

what did the horse say hey said the

horse I'm packin of course what did the

w*r say what is the B says what

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what did the goat say

I'm coming aboard

are you here setting up looking for the

lion

look slight a spell that Sun in Ghana

Shire

then it's gonna rain 40 days and 40

nights and more and we don't want the

along the shore

Mars if the lion I don't feel like dying

what did the lion say I said the lion I

don't feel like dying

look at the lion saying rah what did the

horse say

what did the bee sing

what did the crows say the coat say I'm

coming aboard

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all the animals call to Noah said we're

come and get ready to go on we're

calling a bull

we're carnival we're coming

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we're coming

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this is the song that does it and yes it

goes on and on my friend some people

started singing it not knowing what it

was and they'll continue singing

it

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this is the song that Charlie no no stop

stop stop

Charlie stop I want you to go away go

away and don't slam door funding for

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