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01x05 - The Boat Race

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Adventures of Captain Pugwash". Aired: October 1, 1998.*
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Pompous but likable pirate Captain Pugwash leads a crew of misfits on the Black Pig ship, including Tom the Cabin Boy and carpenter Jonah.

01x05 - The Boat Race

Post by bunniefuu »

[Music]

it was time again for the governor's

annual boat race around cutlass island

this year the portobello cup carried a

prize of 100 gold doubloons

100 gold doubloons tottering turtles

with my tip-top captaincy we're bound to

win don't we have to enter first captain

nonsense i'll have to enter first at the

governor's castle don't forget to turn

left at the top of the stairs yes i

think i know my way tom

these the only entrants yes sir

oh

oh well

now gentlemen i have set up the

governor's cup to encourage the virtues

of seamanship and good sportsmanship

the rules of the race are simple

i shall start it by firing a cannon here

at compass boom your ships must sail all

the way around uh cutlass island and uh

past the finishing line uh

here

the winner will be greeted by me firing

another canon

sorry all clear okay good uh may the

best man

women there's only gonna be one winner

me i don't think so i'm going to win

this race you wouldn't bet on it though

would you

tell you what

you win you take the flying dustman if i

win i catch the black pig

you don't think you'll win captain don't

i accept your bet and look forward to

winning fair and

nobody said anything about being fair

right oh well we'll uh we'll hmm tom

think of something

no good will come of this sailing

practice

maybe anchor hauling wasn't a good idea

i know

sail changing

um

captain jake and his crew aren't doing

any practicing well they'll regret it

right we'll have a short break for lunch

i told you

no good would come of all this racing

tom my lad test of your navigation

skills what's this here it's a map

captain

and those are mud yes of course these

lines here

are the mud flats yes captain

all around this side of cutlass island

yes are they a problem they could be

captain if you pulled out of the race

now cutthroat jake couldn't take the

shipping turtles if you're going to keep

on with this defeatist talk go to your

cabin and stay away until we've won the

race

go on

lucky i spotted those mud flats

gambling fever swept into portobello

would the flying dustman win would the

black pig finish

would the black pig start

evening fell over the bay as the two

ships made their way to the starting

line

[Music]

careful

it's got this steel in it it's where

you're going

drop the anchor quick jonah yes sir

with respect kevin

would it not be possible to let him tom

do the steering like what he usually

does yeah does he no no no no we could

win this race without him oh dear

the captain's never going to win the

race without some help i'll have to do

something

but what

we all know that pugwash doesn't stand a

chance in the race tomorrow but tonight

we're gonna make sure that

how how we're going to cheat

[Music]

now his steering wheel won't work that's

done it and by the time that old food

pug wash finds out we'll have won the

race

if jake's cheating then there's only one

way to save the black pig

as a new day dawned the two ships were

ready for the off at least one of them

was

careful

the race is about to start they thought

we were gonna erase without young talk

but he's still supposed to wake us up

and make our breakfast

it's the governor tuttering turtles he's

starting the race

captain james captain jake born and

governor captain pogba captain pugwash

yes keeping you up are we pavos

on

[Music]

not quite ready

right lads raise the ankles

[Music]

i'll be waiting for you at the finishing

line for bush you can hand over your

ship then you haven't had it yet

and fill the main anchor whisper thingy

stretch the lava

[Music]

[Laughter]

flats

oh captain

what now jenna starboard with a

starburst is starboard it's not we're

still getting straight ahead something

funny we're this way it's not the wheel

that's the problem tattering turtles

give it to me there's no rush now

shivering sharks of course there's a

rush we're in a race no we're stuck in

the mud that is what i was trying to

tell you

i said no good would come of this racing

he'll be there for hours and hours and

boy then we'll have won the race

[Music]

[Applause]

as the hours passed the flying dustman

sailed on towards the finish line once

the black pig remained stickily stuck

for jake and his crew it was celebration

time

[Music]

[Laughter]

we've won

just one more job to do before i go back

okay i can't wait to see the look of

that old fool bug washer's face when he

hands the black pig over to me

where have you been on cutlass island

captain well why won't you here so i

could throw you off the ship

only i won't have a ship to throw you

off for much longer what's that we've

lost the race no captain not yet we

heard the camel that wasn't the

finishing g*n that was me what and the

tides coming in so we'll soon float off

the mud flat you mean

we can still win yes captain i never

doubted it of course

mr mate jonah really look lively

i must have caught a cold tom you do it

aye aye

[Music]

we finished hours ago

what are you waving at come back that's

my ship now flying dustbins getting a

bit close to those rocks wouldn't you

say jonah

do you think we should tell them i think

they might find out soon enough

we're coming up to the finish now

i always knew we'd win how about three

chairs for your captain merhans

[Music]

hey

what's happening we won we won

[Music]

[Applause]

well congratulations pug washer first

class effort and top earl captaincy i'd

say well

give me that

i won

no you didn't the black pig was the

first ship to pass the finishing flag

and well you stopped half a mile short

i won't hold you to your bet jake i

don't want your ship

not in the condition it's in bound

t governor

of course we'd have finished hours ago

if it wasn't for my cabin by a jumping

ship during the race

fortunately for captain pugwash jake

never realized that tom's new finishing

post had been placed half a mile back up

the coast from the real one but of

course the best man won

[Music]