03x12 - Temporary Mom/Tee Fore Two

[bunniefuu]

♪ Watch out, 'cause here we come ♪

♪ It's been a while,
but we're back with style ♪

♪ So get set to have some fun ♪

♪ We'll bring you action
and satisfaction ♪

♪ We're the Chipmunks ♪

♪ Alvin, Simon, Theodore ♪

♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

[Dave] Guys, please get in the car!

I'm gonna miss my flight!

Sorry, I keep forgetting,

how long are you gone for again?

Oh, you know,
just the weekend, Theodore,

and Miss Miller will be there
the whole time.

Dave! Dave, no! She's so boring!

Miss Miller just wants to watch
her old shows, on repeat!

Oh, that's not fair, Alvin.
Miss Miller is great!

Oh! Wanna bet?

Oh! Guys, I don't know what to say.

I have to go out of town to work
on this album and, you know,

you need someone there
in case of emergencies.

OK, I love you.
Now, get out of the car.

[Alvin and Simon] Bye, Dave.

You keep going out of town, Dave.

Oh, I know, Theodore,

but I'm already late for my plane,

so can we talk about this later?

-But...
-Theodore, I love you, but...

I know, get out of the car.

[Bruce] Ha! Guys, listen to this joke
my mom left me.

[Kevin] Ugh! I wish my mom wrote jokes.
She just writes sappy poems.

Wait. You get poems and... and jokes?

Yeah, but my mom just types in
"sweet poems for son"

and takes 'em from the Internet.

Why?
What do you get in your lunch?

Um...

I've got a pack of basil leaves
and baking soda!

I have a sponge.

Yeah, Dave was in a hurry.

I got a sock and... tweezers.

Oh, man! This is so pathetic!

Just... just take my cookies,
OK?

[gasps] Really?

Yeah, this is like
the saddest thing I've ever seen.

[school bell rings]

[Kevin] Hey, Mom!

I wish Dave made us warm cookies

and wrote notes in our lunches.

He's just been really busy
these past few months.

[Miss Miller] Boys!

Yoo-hoo!

Oh! And in the meantime
we have Miss Miller.

Excuse me, ladies, have you seen
three small Chipmunks,

cute as a baby's bottom,
about yay high?

[gasps] Oh, no!
Why is she talking to Amber?

She's going to humiliate us!

Do you know who I'm talking about?

They sing that song,
that funny little song.

♪ Ooh, eeh, ooh, ah-ah ♪

[Alvin] All right,

here we are.
You can stop now... Please.

Please!

[Miss Miller singing]

Oh! Who put those there?

♪ I told the witch doctor
I was in love with you ♪

Ugh! How nice would it be

to have someone other
than Miss Miller watch us?

Are you guys thinking
what I'm thinking?

Oh! A portable pancake machine?

-A what?
-You know,

like a little pancake machine.

And it lets you take
little pancakes on the go

if you get hungry.

No, no, Theodore.

This is much better!
Imagine this... a temporary mom!

♪ When I'm with you
the fun is always giving ♪

♪ No cares at all,
do just what we're feeling ♪

♪ Never bored ♪

♪ What an exciting time ♪

♪ Life is better
when it's with you ♪

♪ Nothing can bring us down ♪

♪ I'm never alone
when I have friends like you ♪

♪ What a perfect day ♪

♪ What a perfect, perfect day ♪

♪ Let's celebrate ♪

♪ 'Cause it feels so true,
everything we do ♪

♪ Whenever I'm with you ♪

♪ What a perfect day ♪

Now all we have to do is find
the perfect temporary mom.

Yeah, but also,

I still think a portable pancake maker
is a good idea.

Like, when you need
just a little food on the go.

You know, you could have
a little thing of syrup and...

Yes, yes, Theodore.
But, uh, more importantly,

you can't just find a mom online!

Simon, come on! A temporary mom.

Yeah, Simon, a temporary mom.

Hmm.
What kind of mom should we pick?

Booya! I just picked one!

What? I... I wanted to help pick!

Theodore, you're gonna love her!

She's an aspiring actress
who loves sports!

I mean, if that doesn't say
"Mom," I don't know what does!

Yeah, that doesn't say "Mom" at all.

What do we with Miss Miller?

Miss Miller? You mean the one

who's so wrapped up in her lame TV shows

she doesn't know we're here?

[TV]
She's not your mother. I am.

-[TV] No, you're lying.
-See?

Oh, Miss Miller,
we hired a temporary mom online

to take us to the park, OK?

OK, that sounds good!

[door bell rings]

Hi! So nice to meet you guys!

Oh! You made us food?

Yeah, I thought we could eat
at the park.

[together] Yeah!

So, I hear you love sports?

Uh... not so much for me.

Oh, you're so silly.
Everybody loves sports.

Oh, well, you know, not every...

-[temporary mom] Catch!
-Oof!

-Better run!
-Aaah!

[Simon] Alvin! Take the ball!

Theodore!

I... I don't want it!

[growls]

Aaah!

Ow!

You are out! Loser!

Oh, you... you play rough!

Hey! Don't be a poor sport!

And those better not be tears, bud!

-They're not.
-Better not be!

-And they're not!
-OK, well, better not be!

Walk it off. Just walk it off.

Ow...

OK, let's try this again!

[temporary mom] Oh, man!

I am tired!

Well, you made us play sports
for... for six hours.

I know!
That's cause I'm awesome!

Now I'm gonna read you
a bed-time story.

"Once upon a time
there was a sweet bumblebee."

Oh, this sounds good!

"Then, one night,

just as the bee
was about to close his eyes,

a giant claw grabbed him!"

Aaah!

I... I think you should leave.

-Are you crying?
-No!

Better not be!
I mean, what's the problem?

Alvin said you guys liked pranks.

No, I don't!

And you do not prank people
during story time, lady!

[Simon] He's tired.
I think we'd better call it a night.

And... and, yes, I am crying!

We tried your lady, Alvin.

My choice, Darlene,
is coming in the morning.

[Darlene] OK, boys, wake up.
I made you some pancakes.

Rise and shine, boys!

[Theodore] Oh, look!

She... she brought portable pancakes!

Oh! Thank you!

[Darlene] No, no, no! Wait, wait!

Let me put on your bibs.

No, no, thank you.
No bib for me.

I'm heading to the skate park.

Can't really do great flips
on a full stomach.

No, you are not going to skate park!

I'm not going to let
my precious, fragile darling

go out to such a dangerous place.

What does that mean?
What does that mean?

You have got to be kidding me!

Well, you said
you wanted to be outside.

This isn't so bad.

It's just her way
of showing that she cares.

And the leashes?
That's too much caring!

It's so we don't get lost.

Uh, I'm with Alvin
on this one, Theodore.

I think this woman might be,
you know, a little nuts.

Babies? Hello!

Well, well, I like her!

Babies! Where are you?

Oh, my babies! My babies
have been taken from me!

Here! We're here, Darlene!

What? Where?

We're right where you left us, Darlene!

Oh, my heavens, I thought
I had tied you up to that tree,

so when I didn't see you at all,
I got so terrified.

Don't you ever scare me
like that again!

When I call for you,
you must answer immediately, OK?

Well, Darlene, it has been
a pleasure getting to know you,

but we won't be needing
your services any longer.

I thought we were
getting along so well.

Well, OK, best of luck. Bye!

We probably should have
asked her to untie us first.

[Theodore] Yeah, so,
it hasn't been going that well.

You know, we just wanted
a fun temporary mom

to take care of us
while Dave's gone, but...

[door bell rings]

Oh, that must be Simon's choice.
OK, talk to you later.

Oh, hello,
you must be the Chipmunks.

I'm so pleased to meet you!

Oh, yes, yes, please, come in!

Guys, meet Laura Foster,

Chemistry Magazine's
"Scientist of the Year!"

-Uh, cool.
-Hi! I'm Theodore!

I'm honoured. I was told
there was a place to set up my lab?

Boy, is there!

Right down the stairs.

Please, make yourself at home.

Fantastic!

Guys, do I know how to pick 'em or what?

Yeah, 'cause nothing says
"cool mom" like a mobile lab.

Oh, you're just jealous
that your fun mom

ended up being crazy.

Come on, let's check it out.

[door slams shut]

[Theodore] What? What... what is this?

Hello, boys.
Ready for a little testing?

[together] Aaah!

-Get in the vent!
-[Laura] Wait!

I just want to see
the inside of your heads!

What do we do now?

Miss Miller! Miss Miller! Help!

Come on, guys, let's wake her.

-Aaah!
-It's OK. You won't feel a thing!

[Miss Miller] Excuse me!

May I help you?

[Chipmunks] Miss Miller!

I think there's been
a misunderstanding here.

I just wanted to observe
their brains, with a scan.

A non-harmful scan.

Oh... Well, that makes more sense.

Well, thank you for...
for clearing that up,

but we will not be needing
your services.

[sighs]
All right, then. Goodbye.

Hey, guys! I'm home!

[Miss Miller] In here, David.

[Dave] How were they?

[Miss Miller]
Oh, they were little angels.

Miss Miller, thanks again
so much. I really appreciate it.

[Miss Miller] Any time, David.

-[Dave] Guys?
-[together] Dave!

Hey, guys!
You know, I was thinking,

if you want someone besides
Miss Miller to look after you

while I'm away, maybe we...

[together] No!

[commotion]

|Theodore] What's going on?

Oh, guys, guys, listen to this.

"Faculty fundraiser.
Nine holes for charity.

First prize, $1,000 donation
to needy children.

The winning team
will also receive season tickets

to a sporting event
of their choice."

Season tickets!

Here, come on, let me see that!

"The position of caddy
is open to any student

who wants to volunteer.

If you qualify, you'll be paired
with one of the teachers."

-What's a caddy?
-Oh, oh!

A "catty" is the opposite of a "doggy".

You know, they have
cute pointy ears, fluffy tails, an...

Yeah, that's not what they are.

Caddies carry around the clubs
for the person that's playing.

And they know everything
about the game.

Well, I'm gonna find out
what all this caddy business is about,

'cause I am gonna
win those tickets!

♪ There's no way
I'll get over you, no way ♪

♪ No way,
there's nothing I can do ♪

♪ I am totally obsessed ♪

♪ I can't even think of rest ♪

♪ I just can't get enough,
it's true, yeah ♪

♪ I can't even
close my eyes at night ♪

♪ I'm just thinking
about the next time I might ♪

♪ Satisfy my one desire for you ♪

♪ No distractions,
just the one thing I most want to do ♪

♪ Satisfy my one desire for you ♪

♪ No distractions,
just the one thing I most want to do ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh,
ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ I most want to do ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh,
ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Come on, got to do ♪

Oh! It's time for the Junior Master's!

[TV] Welcome to the Magical World
of Moss. Today...

Hello! I was watching that!

-[Alvin] Simon!
-[Simon] I was here first!

OK, OK! What's going on?

Alvin's stupid obsession about golf!

But, Dave, the tournament is tomorrow.

And... and this is important!

[sighs] Oh, all right!

[TV] Taylor Bank approaching the green...

[Simon] And golf rule 17B says...

[gasps] We're here!

[Alvin] There it is!

The grand prize!

[Alvin] Wait, wait! Miss Smith?

Oh, what is she doing here?

And now for the completely
random drawing

to see which student caddies
will be paired

with which faculty member.

For Coach Dobkins...

Oh! My son, Bocarter!

Yeah, right. Completely random.

And for Principal Meadows...
Cheesy.

Yes!

And for Miss Smith...

Alvin Seville!

No!

You've got to be kidding me!

[man] Golfers and caddies to the tee.

First up, Miss Smith and Alvin Seville.

Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to the first annual
faculty fundraiser event for charity.

Question!
What's the object of the game?

My co-host today is...

[clears throat]
...community leader Officer Dangus!

Hi!

You don't need to talk that loud.
The microphone is right here.

Let me ask you another question.
How come the ball's so small?

Hey, Smithy, put the driver away.

That's for really great players.
So, for you,

may I suggest the hybrid off
the tee? It's more forgiving...

No, Alvin! I have the club that I want!

[chuckles] Well, as your caddy,

I'm telling you, this club is better!

Alvin! So help me...

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
What's going on there?

It looks like one of our...

-Do you have ChapStick?
-No, I don't.

Miss Smith is having
some difficulty with her caddy...

I don't know.
This looks more fun than golfing!

-Maybe in your world.
-This sport is just so slow!

What if there were three holes?

Do I really need a co-host?

-Will you just listen?
-Let go, Alvin! I promise you,

I will swing this club whether
you're hanging onto it or not!

-Hey, do you have water?
-No.

[cheering]

Close your mouth, Alvin.
You look like a catfish.

[cheering]

Loser!

-[Officer Dangus] Do you have sunscreen?
-No, I don't.

[whispering]

[crash and car alarm goes off]

Hmm. Where did my ball go?

Well, it went 15 yards
left of the sand trap.

But that's no problem for you,
Miss Smith,

you take the old lob wedge,
you know, and you use that.

And then, because the greens are fast,

the ball will skip forward, bam!
Right by the cup!

I'm very impressed, Alvin.

Ugh! Ah! Aaah!

Hey, mind if I show you
some quick tips really quickly?

Just so we're not so far behind.

So, a lot of pros are gonna say
"Don't move your feet".

I disagree. I think we need
as much momentum as possible.

I won't hit it.
I'll go right above it so you'll see.

About three steps back,
and charge forward,

and so one, two, swing!

[Cheesy] Whoa! Whoa!

Far, watch out!

Hey, quick question...

[Cheesy] Sorry!
Trying to teach her how to swing

and she's not very good!

-Well, ladies and gentlemen...
-Oh, whoa!

OK, I did not see that coming!

Be honest with me, how bad is it?

It looks fine.

Miss Smith leads by one as they approach
their final hole, which...

-Wait! Goodness! This is the last hole?
-Yes. Anyway,

it looks like the team in last place is...

Here's a question for ya.

Why are there 18 holes?

Can you please
pay attention for one minute?

We're almost done!
Just watch the game!

-Sorry, sorry. Um, yup. OK.
-Ahem.

[Coach Dobkins]
Well, Bernice, this is a surprise.

Yeah, using a chipmunk
for your caddy.

Oh, I'm very happy
with Alvin as my caddy.

I think he's exceptional.

There's no one I'd trust more
to help me beat you.

Well, good luck. You'll need it.
Come on, Bo.

[thunder]

What do you think? Should I use
my driver or the three wood?

All right, this, I know,
is gonna sound unconventional,

Miss Smith, but, with your power,

I'd say take your two iron
and just crush it!

Alvin, whether we win or lose,

it's been a pleasure playing with you.

I've actually enjoyed our time together.

Never thought I'd say that.

[cheering]

Wait a minute!
This is a three iron!

I thought we'd try something different.

Are you saying I'm not strong enough

to hit onto the green with a five?

Forget about it.

You've something that works.
I think we stick with that.

This'll work.

h*, h*, h*, h*!
Look at that baby fly!

[Officer Dangus] Ooh! What happened?

If they sink their putt,
then our only chance

is for you to make yours.

The ball is an inch from the hole.

I mean, I've gotta believe
he's got this one.

OK, I don't want to hear
any negative Nancy here, OK?

You can do this, Miss Smith!

Oh, I don't know.
It's a 30-foot putt.

OK, OK, hold on!

Miss Smith, how many times
have you told me

that if I'd just focus,
I could accomplish anything?

Hmm, yeah.
More than I can remember.

Exactly! So, just focus!

You can do this!

Boom!

h*, h*! Here we go!

All right, so the wind is against us,

so you'll have to hit it really hard!

Also, you know,
there's a slight play...

eight, ten, no, no, no,
12 feet of brake.

OK? That's all you need to know.
Now just go do it.

Hmm. OK.

Miss Smith!
That's the wrong club!

No! No!

[all] Oh!

-Ha! I won! I won!
-It's a tie, you moron!

[Bocarter] Hey! No, come on!
Let we just hold it for a minute!

Hand over the trophy!

[cheering]

-OK, that does not count!
-[chuckles]

Well, you'd better
brush up on the rules,

because if the ball falls
within ten seconds

after a player gets to the hole,
it counts.

[Mr Humphrey] You blew it.

You imbecile! Come back!

[Simon] So, uh, guys,
ready for the English test?

There's an English test today?

Oh, well, maybe now Miss Smith
and I are golf buddies,

she might let it slide.

Yeah, somehow I don't think
that's gonna happen.

I hope you're all prepared
for today's test.

But before we begin, one lucky student

will be allowed
to take the test tomorrow.

And the completely
random-drawn student is...

Alvin Seville!

Yes!

Yup! Completely random.

♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪