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01x01 - The Great Painting Job

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Bertha". Aired: 1 April 1985 – 18 June 1986.*
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Series is set in an industrial estate occupied by the Spottiswood & Company factory, a small manufacturing plant producing a wide range of goods ranging from cuckoo clocks to windmill money boxes.

01x01 - The Great Painting Job

Post by bunniefuu »

[Music]

you

are a lovely machine and anyone who

works with you

[Music]

always

[Music]

[Music]

and i think that's very

[Music]

you can always turn the goods out always

turn the goods out

we can depend upon you

[Music]

this week at spotty's wooden company

bertha is making jigsaw puzzles

ted puts the picture in one end

and bertha cuts out the shapes that's

roy checking the puzzles

their nail packs

and flow stacks

it seems a shame to break up such a

lovely picture

but the fun of jigsaw puzzles is to put

them back together again

isn't it what do you do with it when

you've put it back together

you break it out and begin all over

again

that seems daft to me hey

there's a hole in this one that means

that there's a piece missing

you're right hey ted

stop there

see there is a piece missing right in

the middle there

sorry now we'll never find the missing

piece and

why not because we don't know what it

looks like

it was a piece missing from the tree i

remember

ah but what piece it was a very large

tree

a piece with leaves and branches on it

look here if there's a piece of the

puzzle missing it must still be in

bertha

now come on bertha where's the missy

piece of puzzle

i can't see it ted why don't you put

another picture through

it might dislodge the missing piece and

bring it out what a good idea roy

that the piece we're looking for comes

from about there

so watch out for it

a cow or birther

[Music]

there's a piece missing from this one

too what a piece of the sky

where just there

sorry hmm first a piece of the tree is

missing and now piece of the sky

oh wonder what bertha is up to very

mysterious

very puzzling that's it float you've got

the answer

oh i am glad now how many cheeks all

puzzles as bertha made this morning

float

ten to a big box that's forty

four in this box that's 44

and two here that's uh 46

46 roy where their pieces missing from

other puzzles

i'm not sure i didn't look at all of

them

it's your job too i'd like to bet

there's a piece missing from most of

those puzzles

now come on brother how many pieces have

you got in there

that's amazing all odd bits making a

different picture

i didn't know bertha like doing jigsaw

puzzles you know what we have to do now

don't you

what we have to open all those boxes and

make up all those jigsaw puzzles to find

out which pieces are missing

oh no it'll take us ages we can't let

him be sold in the shops with a piece

machine

come along let's get started it's better

than packing

it's better than stacking

[Music]

bertha how could you

upstairs in the offices miss mcclackety

and mr will make

are getting ready for the decorators

they're covering all the furniture with

a sheet

so it won't get splashed with paint

well done that's everything covered

where those decorators got to

they should be here by now

that's the telephone ringing sir yes i

can hear it mr clackety

where is your telephone still on your

desk no

it's on the floor somewhere

but where on the floor miss mclacatey i

can't remember sir

we must find the telephone and answer it

the call may be important oh dear i'm

sorry

it's under the cheat somewhere right

don't

panic miss mclacatey this is what we'll

do i'll go under this end of the sheet

you go under that end whoever finds the

telephone first answered it

off you go

i've got it mr clickety hello

yes yes this is the manager oh i see

well that's too bad well thank you for

letting me know

goodbye where are you miss mclacatey

over here sir oh who was it sir

the decorators what did they want mr

wilmick

they're going to say they're not coming

today

oh dear would anyone here like a nice

cup of tea

yes please mrs tap but downstairs

everyone is too busy to stop for tea i

think

most of this puzzle must be missing no

i'm sure there's only one piece with you

for each picture

you're just not very good at doing

jigsaw puzzles flow

look i've nearly finished mine have you

found the missing piece nell

how could i if it's not there mr duncan

the foreman

thinks they're just playing well will

what's all this

playtime hello mr duncan we're looking

for missing pieces of jigsaw puzzles

we have to check all those boxes and

those there

and those there as well it's going to

take us ages

why are there pieces missing from the

puzzles hmm

well bertha's been keeping one piece

back from each box

if i get a picture of her own hmm see

bertha has been misbehaving again has

she been

misbehaving haven't you i think she just

likes doing jigsaw puzzles that's all

this is no good it'll take you all week

if bether is so fond of puzzles

why don't you let her do them that's a

jolly good idea mr duncan

now why didn't i think of that that's

what fordmen

are for

another office mr sprott and his

assistant tracy

have been asked by the manager to design

a machine that can paint the factory in

double quick time

well it worked mr sprott hmm undoubtedly

i will take it down to the roller and

grinder machine and have it made

do you mind if i have a go at designing

a different machine mr sprott

no no no of course not but this is the

one that'll work

what can we have that will do the job

nicely easy to control

and we'll do what we say precisely

[Music]

talk operative machine is what we need

here there's something i can think of

that will run for a year

a talk

[Music]

robot that can feel like a friend a talk

operated machine i'll call it tone

teeth

[Music]

i can go and work with first to set the

program through

and i am sure that she can work out what

i'm trying to do

i'll have to work it out as quickly as i

can to get it done

i know that when i get it finished it

could really be fun

talk operated machine is what i'll make

them a

super little robot that can feel like a

friend

talk operative machine i'll call it tom

then t

o m oh it's gonna be lovely t

o m i can't wait to get it finished team

[Music]

[Music]

this is the last puzzle roy

all right ted we're ready

is it all there roy it's all there ted

do you want to do the last one flow oh

yes

please right

put that into the box now and we're

finished well done

hello ted hello tracy what gonna do for

you

do you think you could get bertha to

make this

wow it's a robot what do you want a

robot for

tracy mr sprotta designed a painting

machine

but i thought if we had a robot it could

do all sorts of useful jobs around the

factory

could it help me pack could it help me

stack

yes it could even help you sweep up roy

good i could do with some help

very well let's see what bertha makes of

this

mr sprott's machine seems to be working

well

a splendid invention mr sprott we could

paint the whole factory in double quick

time

that's what i thought

[Music]

stop the machine when it gets to the

door panted would you that's a good

fella

i am unhappy to say that i cannot do so

sir

dear something has gone wrong

you will have to have a green door miss

mcluckie but i don't want a green door

i will quickly open the door sir then

the machine will have nothing to paint

oh dude and turn off the machine pantied

turn it off i'm uh i'm happy to say that

i can't do so sir

push the lever down hard this i have

been trying to do

i will now push the lever up no

no don't do that

does it work mr sprott oh

downstairs bertha has just finished

making tracy's robot

ah there you are tracy you're just in

time

is this what you wanted

exactly how i designed it ted

what will you call it tracy well as you

will be able to tell it what to do

i'll call it tom t-o-m

talk operated machine off you go

tom

wow

well done tracy now do you think tom

could do a spot of painting

i think so mr will make tom

will you please paint the walls in miss

mcclacket's office

[Music]

what a useful little chap good old

bertha

she's done it again

[Music]

have to do you can always turn the goods

out always turn the goods out

we can depend upon you

[Music]

you