01x16 - The Lemonade Wars

[bunniefuu]

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and in your life

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and especially you this is Alicia

Skinner

Alicia plays ball games what games do

you like to play you the best baseball

really what position do you play mostly

um first base really

what other ball game do you like to play

soccer no kidding I never played soccer

in my whole life um we have a game that

Alicia and I have been playing so much

fun it's called easy does it is it easy

yeah do you think so

well maybe you'll think it's easy and

maybe you want let's show come on

you put your hands out so that the palms

you know this is the palm of your hand

so it's facing down and so that the

hands are touching the sides of the

hands have to touch you put the ball on

one hand balance it there and the aim is

to get the ball on to the other hand

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and what do you get when you cross a

kangaroo with a sheep I don't know a

wool sweater with very big you know a

lot of the old tongue twisters developed

because in the olden days then you'll

already know before I was little I named

the olden days people used to have to do

jobs that they just don't have to do

much anymore for example once upon a

time when you wanted to keep warm

you had to have somebody who would get

out there with a sword

sadi son yes that's a sore and sore

would select and rest day is that of all

the saws I ever saw I never saw a store

saw like that sources say yeah

that's of all the swords I ever saw I

never saw a sauce saw like that sauce

sauce now make sure it says I ever saw I

never saw I saw so I like that soy sauce

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you know what you're looking at you're

looking at a two-headed snake yes her

name is Thelma and Louise and Thelma and

Louise both live in one body and that

one body lives at the San Diego Zoo now

only the right head and I don't really

know whether that's Thelma or Louise

only the right head eats and this is a

corn snake United States grows in the

cornfields and in the wild this you're

not gonna believe the two-headed snake

probably wouldn't survive because it

wouldn't know which direction to go in

do you believe everything I just told

you I hope so

I've thought about what it would be like

to be a two-headed snake and you know

they say two heads are better than one

and it occurred to me that the where are

you doing and it occurred to me that it

would be a lot of fun because you could

watch two TV shows at the same time and

you certainly could look both ways

before crossing but still I don't think

I'd want to be a snake would you

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his name is no snake is no you can hit

like this

like this

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what can you do to build

hours you go

can a snake watch a TV cartoon all

afternoon get your bowl that somebody

has thrown his very best friend on the

phone

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like this

but after that what can you do to fill

up the hours you're going

funny hey Cobra three times a day that

sort of thing isn't Donnie

and your ribs always ate from the

scraping they take yes sir being a snake

is no fun knock knock who's there

dawn dawn hold on that's all round I'm

closing the door

can I interrupt yes joy yours you're

nonetheless tweaked I asked you for a

new baseball glove and you've been a bit

early and you said that it was about

time I earned a little money for myself

I do remember that yes so that I could

become more independent and responsible

nice change

ha ha ha well I have taken your advice

you have yep you are looking at the

chairman of the charley horse lemonade

company lemonade lemonade I'm gonna make

a fortune

really that's wonderful and what are you

gonna use for capital what capital

capital a capital VI you fall out for

that no capital means money the money

that you need to buy the things required

to start any business even a lemonade

stand no no you don't understand I've

done it all

I built the stand yeah I painted the

sign yeah I borrow the glass is

wonderful so what if I have to buy

lemons

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it's picture time it's picture time

though I've never met you I know

something you can't do I bet you bet you

betcha

I'll teach you how to do what I propose

ready

here goes so you say to your friend I

bet you that I can draw a thousand in

numbers without lifting my pen or

connecting the numbers in other words a

thousand one thousand and your friend

will say how could you do that without

lifting your pen or connecting the

numbers and then you show how here's how

you do it you fold up a flap from the

bottom there's a flap now starting on

the paper you draw a 1 you come down on

to the flap with your one without

lifting your pen you circle around and

make the 0 connecting it right at the

flap you make another 0 without lifting

your pen you make it third 0 without

lifting your pen and when you lift the

clap you will have drawn 1,000 in

numbers without lifting your pen or

connecting the numbers

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I betcha if you'll only try it because

he's older you're always saying that

because he always is and if you keep

saying that he always will be

I know apartment yes somebody was nice

Oh somebody I trust trust yes somebody

with money money now look the thing I'm

so proud about is that charley horse is

running this business all by himself

oh yeah but he's gonna pay me back and

it's five cents a glass it's gonna take

a little while

hi sherry oh hey you want an ice cold

lemonade I'd love one

you got any ice on you know you want a

long lemonade not right now oh man shop

wants to run a lemonade stand - that's

ridiculous

what's so deckle is about it you can't

handle money I can't sell no you can't

yes no you can't add I can't sell really

yes oh well then how much is one plus

one one what one plus one one how much

is one lemon plus one lemon what

happened to the other lemon I squeezed

it

hey wait a second I know how to teach it

really do it all right Lance yep

how many teeth do I have - how did you

get - I didn't get Joe you got to see

one Hey you just added sure you said one

to two teeth that's adding so if you can

add one tooth and one tooth and get two

teeth and one lemon and one lemon

lemon and one lemon it will k*ll teeth

no sweetie no no to1 lemon plus one

lemon equals no teeth I got it you don't

have it match up if you can add teeth

why can't you add lemons I'm a

specialist in tea I'm gonna show you how

to make a crazy critter that'll scare

all over your table in a very peculiar

fashion you need almost nothing borrow a

lemon you'll be able to return it you

work with a napkin a paper napkin and

you don't unfold it you just leave it

folded in for the way it comes in the

box generally and a big fat pen or

crayon start with your napkin and twist

a good leg at each corner of the napkin

there's one leg there's two legs we're

gonna make four legs because we got four

corners three legs and four legs and

then poke the body so it's nice and

round and stick it right over the lemon

now you have to draw face I'm gonna draw

two eyes one eye two eyes one nose and a

mouth and if you want you can make

horrible teeth this horrible teeth

that's it

doesn't look like much does it but when

you poke it with your finger look it

goes skittering around in a most

peculiar fashion it just skitters around

and if you have lots of people at the

table you will find that you can skitter

it and poke it and have a lot of fun

with your crazy critter and dust you

can't tell whether it's attacking or

retreating and eventually oh it stopped

it didn't go off the table isn't that

nice

laminae get your ice-cold lemonade I

think you'll be eliminated

Johnny Hall yeah you got a dime a dime

yeah it's ten cents a glass sorry the

last time I'll let you decide it's dead

five cents yeah well my rates went up

it's a dying now well I don't got it

done but that's okay you want credit

ready yeah you give me a nickel now and

a nickel only for the next six weeks I

had no credit before that's me

toss on the outside but on the inside

I'm mush well since I got you ready I'll

take two glasses of lemonade and charge

it okay fella tall glasses just take

them away how did the grass eliminate

charley horse coming out me too okay

hey Charlie what I see you've raised

your rates from five cents to ten cents

a glass oh that old signs still there

old sign yeah those are my morning rates

what do you mean

well the hotter it gets the thirstier

you get my prices go up with the

temperature but that's not fair and it's

getting hotter every minute pretty soon

you'll pay a quarter for a glass of

lemonade but Charlie we're your friends

sorry friends business is business

that's means not really mean you know I

mean whatever people are willing to pay

it Charlie can charge well I'm not

willing to pay that much come on sherry

let's get over in the Nate someplace

else

Oh lamb chop you do that to a friend

Charlie

I'm gonna teach you a magic trick and

it's such a good trick

your parents will go oh they won't

understand how it's done I promise you

do it we can bare hands and with a deck

of cards you probably have a deck of

cards around the house you take it out

of the pack and you shuffle the cards

because it's very difficult to shuffle

cards when they're in the pack and then

you need friend Brian come be my friend

this is my friend Brian Brian pick a

card any card

I truly don't care what card you pick

I'm teasing

okay now you might remember it show it

to everybody don't let me see it

okay and put it down on top of the deck

and don't let me see it

all right now I'm going to put the cards

back into the pack which is the hardest

part of this there we go and now Brian I

want you to think hard of your card and

say my card rise my card rise and

Brian's copy Brian is that your card

yeah

was that Brian's card well there you go

isn't that a wonderful trick would you

like to know how to do this wonderful

trick shake your head so I can hear the

rattle you would good here's how you do

it

you take the deck of cards and you

shuffle them then somebody picks a card

pick a card any card I don't care which

one it is

remember it show it to everybody okay

okay okay

now put it on top of the deck and don't

let me see it now here's where the trick

comes Brian put it on top but when I put

it into the package I put it in back and

the reason that I did that was at home

before I came here when I was alone I

cut a hole in the back of the package

why did I do that so that when I wanted

Brian's card to rise all I had to do is

push with my thumb and the back card

rose and that card was Brian's car

lemonade get your ice-cold lemonade a

jelly look how long do I have to go on

squeezing lemons until you pay me back

the money you owe me lemonade yeah but

Chelios and 25 cents appliance it's

gonna take me forever and ever and ever

and ever to pay you diet lemonade keep

squeezing kid jelly I got a cut on my

finger and the lemon juice is stinging

it lemonade get your ice-cold lemonade I

don't need a lemonade I'll need a

band-aid 35 cents a glass come & get it

ice-cold lemonade step right up Oh

lemonade only 20 cents of glass hey you

guys get your fresh lemonade fifteen

cents a glass fifteen cents only fifteen

cents a glass ice-cold lemonade

step right up folks

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Oh dawn I'm Nicola glass so Nicola glass

for the best lemonade in town oh these

guys hold it let's see hers is better

than this lemonade penny uh glass lowest

prices jump get your lemonade free come

and get it in extra large how are you

going to make any money selling lemonade

for nothing

Oh shada lemonade is free but these big

extra-large cups is ten cents apiece

you're kidding business is business

do you love me or do you not you told me

once but I thought I'm gonna sing a song

for you now no way Jose why because I

like you mr. you want me to tell you

were still I mean alright I'll tell you

still a long long ago

happily is it a fairy tale no it's a

scary tale oh I'm sorry darling darling

I'm sorry

don't you worry if you want me to stop

you just say stop

once upon a time

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scared since I can remember when you

didn't hear any sounds no I didn't well

you want sounds you make sounds okay no

sound all the sounds that I mentioned in

the story and the fader if they make

sounds like that of scare myself oh you

make the sounds and everybody will make

the sounds with you I heard the wind

began to blow someone booming down below

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began to howl there were footsteps on

the stairs under ripping through the air

I heard the dog began to bark

oh what a night I have never been so

scared I can't remember when what a

night what a night

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never ever ever

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I'm glad that's over

oh that was hair-raising it's a game

it's called cheek seize oh that's what I

call it you call whatever you want to

call it you need two cups paper cups

plastic cups styrofoam cups doesn't

matter and inside one of the cups you

put an ice cube can you see the ice cube

there it is and the aim of this game is

to put the rims of the cups together

keep the sides together at all times and

to toss the ice cube from one cup and

catch it into the other and then you try

to toss it back and if you can do it a

couple of times that's awfully good

I wish you were here so I could play it

with you this is fun well it was fun

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sherry sherry sherry what what why you

making fun of me no it's only teasing

you you did the same thing oh maybe

sherry oh yeah what do you want to say

well sherry how come you're still stars

without the other animals what you mean

Oh line in two miles oh well you captain

to fiddle what wouldn't make your point

my point is at the end of my nose come

on

make your point how come you never tell

me a story about a dog about a dog

well I um you're right what do you mean

I've never told you a story but about a

dog oh well look why don't you start now

but I've told you jokes about a dog

they're good like the joke about the

rich dog from Texas who went out and

bought himself a boy sherry sherry

sherry thank you find time in your busy

schedule just a minute to tell me a

story about a dog I'm going to take a

minute just one minute and I'm going to

tell you I'm gonna tell you the story of

the dog and the bone once there was a

little dog whose master had given him a

bone a big soup bone that silly old dog

was very proud to own proud that is

until gee whiz he came upon a stream and

there an Zhuhai rockledge his eyes got

an angry gleam for he happened to look

down into a brook in there what do you

think no he saw another dog with a bone

in his mouth and so as quick as a wink

he barked at the dog he saw in the water

and opened his mouth which he hadn't

order cuz the bone that he'd held as

tight as you please

still from his mouth with the greatest

of ease into the stream to disappear and

that is the end of the tale I fear for

the dog in the water to which she'd

objected that dog was only himself

reflected huh and that's the story of

the dog in the bone your daddy's a very

sad story

why Oh dog loses bone oh it's real sad

story but I promised your doggy story I

didn't promise your happy ending oh yeah

that's true well uh next time

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this is the song that does it and yes it

goes on and on my friend some people

started singing it's not knowing what it

was and they'll continue singing

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this is Charlie no no stop stop stop

Charlie stop I want you to go away go

away and don't slam the door

time for tea