01x13 - Maurice

[bunniefuu]

if you're into fun and you love to play

if you like funny jokes they put you

away if you like to dance do a slamming

sound and you're like having lots of

friends right Nikki wanted us to live by

the rule that little buddy you're about

to see you're at the very best place you

could make a muscle

squeeze really squeeze with all your

might know the other arm let me see how

strong

[Music]

yeah and especially you it's really

rotten sometimes you don't have anybody

to play with right at times like this

may I make a suggestion

make a puppet oh sure you got stuff to

make a puppet out of pump it out of

anything if you have an old envelope you

can make an envelope bird if you have a

new envelope you can make an envelope

bird I've got an envelope guess what I'm

gonna make an envelope bird here's my

envelope see that's the opening here's

my bird they look at it talking well I'm

gonna put my top fingers in the top

corner my thumb in the bottom corner

there I go

and now I'm going to poke in the middle

pokey pokey and I have to make my

puppets

stick to my hand so I'm licking my

finger and I'm putting it on the sticky

stuff you know make it stick there it is

and now I have to give my envelope bird

and I so he can see that he has won the

stamp of approval I gave him a stamp you

could draw one too mister envelope bird

what do you think of yourself

[Music]

I'll bet you that you can't name four

members of the cat family in a like lion

tiger

I can Lancer please I'm talking to them

can you know I can I can I can't let me

Blanche oh all right all right what can

I do

name four members of the cat family

mommy cat daddy cat and two kittens the

word hopeless comes to mind

[Music]

I call it asleep on the job

wanna know why in the middle of my paper

I drew a square box and I'm gonna write

fort f o R T and then I wrote numbers

all over the paper in every which way I

didn't think about where I was writing

them I just wrote them now each one of

these numbers is a soldier guarding the

fort and what you have to do is visit

each soldier in order you go from 1 to 2

to 3 heavens knows where 4 is there's 4

in order you visit each one of the

soldiers and you see if there are wait

in order to visit them you draw a line

from one soldier to the second soldier

to the third soldier now wait a minute

where's the fourth soldier well there's

the fourth soldier and the only rule is

that you must not cross over any line in

order to get to the next number

so from fourth soldier I go visit the

fifth soldier everybody's awake yes

number six okay I'm gonna take it down

there's the six soldier where's number

seven I know how to get to number seven

sevens up there I'm gonna go down and

then wrap around and then in seven

where's eight oh goodness

there's eight how can I get there you

see if I can retrace my steps cross

align and mustn't cross a line how am I

gonna get to eight I don't think I can

do it well let's see I go all around I

didn't do it I didn't do it I only got

up to seven that's not a very good score

but this game is a lot of fun to play

now you can play it by yourself the way

I just played frustrate yourself but if

you prefer you can play it with friends

here's how everybody makes their own

game board everybody draws a fort and

then you write numbers 1 through 15 all

over the paper and then you switch

papers

so nobody makes the game easy for

themselves that they'll make it hard for

you you write the numbers all over you

switch papers and then you see which of

your friends gets to the highest number

without having to stop

[Music]

you know give me your knock-knock joke

please knock knock who's there Andy

green Andy green who and the green grass

grows all around all around the green

grass grows all around the green grass

you get it this is not a puppet this is

my dog

she's so beautiful I love her she has a

big tail

wish I had one she can swat flies with

it and she's got ears that you can

practically tie into a book

you have ears like that come on well

then tell me can you throw the movie a

shot do you be able to when you're older

do you

yes my ears hang low and they wobble to

it so I can tie them in a knot I can tie

them in a bow I can throw them over my

shoulder I'll be able to win a holder

yes my ears

do your ears hang high they stand up to

the sky till they drop down when they're

wet do they stand up when they're dry do

you waive them to your neighbor with a

minimum of labour do your ears

[Music]

and they stand up when they're dry and I

leave them to my neighbor with a minute

later yes my ears

[Music]

right over there and I'm gonna beat me

you're gonna beat you you playing

yourself playing checkers by yourself

why did you play with Lambchop now she

doesn't how to place a teacher nah

she'd love to learn nah nah nah you

never paid any attention to Lambchop

well she doesn't need me sure she does

sometimes she's so lonely not anymore

what have you let him him y'all haven't

met him who well if you have to ask oh

you'll have an idea not that you could

meet him even if you could meet him who

what are you talking about his name is

Maurice Maurice yes Maurice is a friend

of lambchops well any friend of

lambchops is a friend of mine you wanna

hear it must and forty-nine dollars and

22 cents one thing you gotta say about

blanche oh she knows an expensive toy

when she doesn't see one sherry sherry

please hello Maurice yes can you

remember Charlie oh yeah yeah you met

him before uh about five minutes ago

what's that no Marie says he can't place

you ah I see what's that movies oh he

says you have an unremember of all kind

of face thanks a lot what's that movies

oh you said you have a kind of horse

race horse face boys face what comment

is that a horse face well you are a

horse charlie that's right I am the

horse Charlie I thought you were a

charley horse yes I am the charlie what

that's what I am I would think that at

your age you would know whether you were

jealous or a horse Charlie well at least

whatever I am I got two names

well so does movies by yourself yeah

yeah and what is maurices last name his

birth name its what oh yes its course

course yes course what's the matter with

you is that such an unusual name that's

my name oh well isn't that a coincidence

Maurice horse yes I think it's Stilton

cool I don't think he looks like a horse

in fact I don't think he looks like much

of anything

really yes how could you tell he doesn't

make any noise what does he eat jolly

well oh oh isn't that a coincidence

we're having broccoli

tonight she knows that she doesn't like

broccoli well it's very lucky that you

followed me home tonight because he

could have my properly what else does he

eat not just tackling I like everything

else

it's picture Tanya's it's under

though I've never met you I know

something you can't do I bet your bet

you betcha I'll teach you how to do what

I propose

[Music]

here goes sherry oh yes hi Brian

I got affection oh good what's the

betcha I bet you I could make you over

your eye

you bet you you can make me open my eyes

Brian my eyes are open I try it on a

friend oh I just had the most wonderful

conversation with whom with Lambchop

friend Maurice you know him you saw him

did you

yes I understand what did you talk about

he just left me rambling on and on and

on I see you did most of the talking

yeah well he's there at the light you

know yes I know

yeah I'm here nobody ever lets me get

two words said together so this was

their nice the name but did you see him

cuz I didn't see him he's invisible then

if you didn't see him

how did you know he was there cuz

Lambchop he told me he was there I see

yeah I mean if you ever got to see an

invisible man who knows what you'd see

give me a lamb chop hi sherry

hi lamb Joffe hi hi poppy are you doing

in my room

well lamb chop I was having the most

wonderful conversation with Maurice he

didn't hear it

oh he's not only unreasonable he's deaf

oh he's a death

well then how come he didn't hear it

because he wasn't there yeah but you

said he was there oh no she was there

but when you came in he went out that's

the story of my life

[Music]

you solve the riddle we'll say what is

it that everybody has seen but will

never see again again yesterday the guy

is a genius

slam sup hey be quiet charley horse be

quiet she's just beaten by an invisible

checker genius and you want me to be

quiet ha ha ha I want to tell the world

oh look look I didn't even get to take

one of his men o player lamp shop and

you know the first time that I asked

movies nice would you please let me play

with you Marie said huh boys lamb chop

lamb chop and you know I said then

Maurice I don't know how to play my

friend Charlie Rose never taught me how

to play and then Marie said that's okay

lamb chop it would be my pleasure my

lamb chop to teach you how to play

checkers

oh I'll get it it's Calabrese charley

horse you know you might play with lamb

chop once in a while it wouldn't hurt

you ah yes you yes you know when you do

something nice for other people life as

a way of repaying you tenfold are you

saying that if I play that lamb chop

something great will happen to me well

you know I might I mean I might get a

new football or a bicycle on my own

phone well anything's possible

think about it rift mama okay you want

to play checkers with me No thank you

telling us it's too late to make up

oh come on lamb chop yeah you'd rather

play with an imaginary friend than me

yes that's stupid no it's not I'm real

Maurice isn't real you may be real but

you're not my friend he may not be real

but he's my friend

ah but I want to be your friend Lance uh

please

okay let's play good now the first thing

you have to do it lamb chop

lolly Pincus is at the door she wants

you to go to the playground with her oh

boy

see you around charlie hmm uh uh come on

lamb chop come on I'm doing something

nice for somebody and life is gonna pay

me back tenfold you can't leave me here

to play by myself tell you what why

don't you call Maurice

[Music]

so what do you really think of the

laptop TV series it's one of my top

three comedy shows General Hospital in

the evening news jerk all right this is

a Vietnamese pot-bellied pig and come on

that's more Zachary yeah I'm gonna turn

around so you can see my Vietnamese

potbelly people not exactly mine um the

other day I was in the mall and there

was a lady with a pig in her arms and

I'd you know first thing I thought was

this little piggy goes to market and

then I loved because I always laugh at

my own jokes and um the lady was very

nice and she stopped and talked to me

and she told me that these Vietnamese

pot-bellied pigs do not shed they do not

bark they're great pets they can be

trained to do everything that a doggie

can be trained to do sit walk on a leash

lie down you know come on command the

only thing that they chew is the little

plastic at the end those shoelaces I

thought it was absolutely adorable the

funniest part was at one point this nice

lady was standing there talking to me

and her very oldest friend suddenly

discovered her in the market and the two

of them came together and hugged with

the pig in between you should have heard

the noise if I tried to separate him

from his food now you would hear the

noise I love animal sounds I love them

so much so I thought that I would write

a song all about animals song sounds and

you listen very carefully because I know

that you can help me hey hit it hush

puppy

I must be an idiot children song

when they asked you to make every

well-known animal town if you own

Philippi in your move but the cow and of

course you're me out for the cat well

another song like that

[Music]

Richard summon the queue

[Music]

janab amazed I hope me about this light

help direct me

[Music]

[Music]

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everybody knows everybody knows roseboom

yeah

no everybody knows

[Music]

oh no everybody knows

so if someone should ask today what

sound does a pig make you can say

everybody knows

well that's the finish of my little song

and I hope you remember

[Music]

[Music]

sherry says this is a funny poem tale of

a young girl from Lynn who was old so

terribly thin that when she was made to

drink lemonade she slipped through the

straw and fell in that's not funny

that's tragic it's time for you to take

a nap darling yeah I like you say I said

it's time for you to take a nap no naps

can be very good good you can compete

good yes well I couldn't not be good

Shannon you have lots of energy energy

energy laptop laptop please an app can

be good for other reasons can you think

of any reason an app could be good okay

tired turn in school you won't get tired

during school and I can think of another

reason that you take a nap you might

have a great dream a dream sure actually

you never know what's gonna be good and

what's not going to be good you know I

know no you don't know in life you have

to just take things as they come and not

worry about it buddy and me well I'm

gonna tell you a Buddhist tale now and

you know what I'm gonna tell you the

Buddhist tale too and this is the story

in which you can tell me if you think

what has happened is good or if you

think what has happened is bad now you

make up your own mind you will make up

your own mind at the end of every

sentence of - I'll turn to you and then

you need to say that's good that's good

yes like that or you say that's

that's okay we'll make up our mind okay

and now here's the story and that's good

right

a father had a horse that's good oh yeah

that's great and the son oh he loves to

ride on that horse

that's good yeah that's great I think

yes the son wants a horse of his own but

the family cannot afford two horses

can't afford and the father's horse runs

away that's but later the father's horse

returns and when it comes back it brings

with it another horse a wild one that

has become attached to the father's

horse but the wild horse is very wild

and it kicks down the barn door well

that night there is a fire in the barn

that's bad did you say that was bad - I

think so but because the barn door was

kicked down both horses can escape from

the fire that's a thing is good the Sun

climbs on the wild horses back to train

him but this wild horse throws the boy

to the ground and breaks his leg but the

next day the King's soldiers come to

town they seize all of the able-bodied

young men and take them to be soldiers

to fight and perhaps to die in a distant

land but they don't take the boy with

the broken leg because nobody nobody can

call you able-bodied if you have a

broken leg so the boy doesn't have to go

to w*r what do you think that's good

that's great is that the end of the

story well notice there's no more say

that's a happy

anything well it's not really a happy

ending cuz it's not an ending at all

what do you mean well in life you don't

know what's going to turn out to be good

or what's going to turn out to be bad

you just have to keep on riding and

enjoy the trip what is it darling

the BA really is you never know

coz things will turn out like you never

thought they would and sure is good

things turn out there there things can

turn out this is the song that does it

and yes it goes on and on my friend

some people continue

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this is the song that Charlie no no stop

stop stop

Charlie stop I want you to go away go

away and don't slam the door

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