01x02 - Pack Your Tail, Sweetie

[bunniefuu]

When I first saw
a mermaid Barbie on TV, I was like…

Oh! That's it!

Okay, girls.

Alrighty.

Okay, Christie.
Let me fix your hair.

My Mermaid Fantasy Christie, Miss Purple,
she's all about her hair.

Her hair has to be fixed

before a camera's in front of her,
or even when she go into the pool.

I know you don't like
your hair being all crazy, Miss Girl.

And then I have my
Fairytopia Mermaid Christie.

I love your tail color.

I love yours
too. It's so pretty.

I know, right?
We have, like, the best tails.

With Toy Story being a thing,

and, you know,
finally having dolls and stuff,

I was like, "These b*tches
come alive when I'm not in here."

Fishies! I'm here!

Hey, girl! Hey! Hi!

I am over it, Chanelle!
Okay? I am over it.

That's why I have so many.
That's why I love them.

That's why I talk to them.
That's why I play with them.

And I have no shame in my game.

Those are my babies. And even as an adult,
Imma have my dolls with me.

The number
of professional mermaids

currently living
100% on performing,

I would say is less
than 50 in the world.

And I can count on one hand

the number of places
where you can be a full-time mermaid.

And Mertailor is one of the very few
unique opportunities

to be a professional
mermaid/merman.

Whenever you're ready.

Point those toes
and flip backwards.

And she's a show-off.

Okay, Tristan, let's go ahead
and see your front leap.

So that was a bird arabesque.

Great job.
Watch your head.

Sort of looks like the god Enki.

Give the man a
trident and he's done.

She wants this so bad.

I just want to see
your personalities underwater. All right?

So smile and blow
us a big kiss, okay?

All right, thank you, you two.

She was nervous.

Super nervous.

She probably has
some experience.

Sometimes too much experience
can be not good.

Might be harder to train.

That's what you have to look at,
is how much work you have to invest in it.

We're really happy
that you all came out.

We've got some decisions
that we've got to make.

We're not necessarily
gonna make 'em today or tomorrow.

There's a couple of you that we're gonna…
talk to in the near future.

We will be giving everybody an email
in a week or two with our final decisions.

I think I did good.
Like, it felt good.

Now we wait.

Mermaiding really found me,
not the other way around.

I was working as a circus performer.
My primary discipline was as an aerialist.

And I just started to sort of pick up
other skills to add to my repertoire,

make me more bookable.

I became a stilt-walker,
a fire-breather,

and at one point I was like,
"Okay. Let's add mermaiding."

And almost instantly,
I had more bookings for mermaiding

than I did for any
of my other skills combined.

So the need was
very obviously there.

The industry was obviously looking
for more performers.

And that's how it developed.

Eventually I had more work mermaiding
than I could personally physically do,

so I started hiring other mermaids
that I would book out.

And thus was born
the Circus Siren Pod.

It happened very organically,
very naturally.

And now I'm in charge
of 35 live performance artists.

I am so tired of saying
"professional mermaid"

and hearing, "Oh,
like Weeki Wachee?"

No. No. No.

Not like Weeki Wachee.

Morning, guys.

It is eight o'clock.

Wakey, wakey!

Big girl mermaid time.

Good morning.

- Good morning.
- Schedule's on the board.

Becky, you're in first.

Chores, chores,
chores, chores…

Jesus Christ!

Hey, guys?

Can we not leave
animal fur on the ground

and give Morgana
a heart attack in the morning?

Yes!

I grew up with a father
who was a Green Beret.

He taught survival
skills from day one.

I was 100% Daddy's little girl.

And him leaving broke my heart.

I think that was my first

real experience with loss.

But I have always had
a survivalist's mentality.

In the house,
there's a bo staff,

two English longbows,

crossbow,

two muskets, a r*fle,

several swords,

two Lochaber axes,

a fixed mace,

two combat
walking sticks…

I'm not gonna begin
to count the knives.

It's the sense that you have
the chance to control your fate.

It's such a big deal
to go and travel to these auditions.

It costs a lot of money and time

for something I
may or may not get.

"Sparkles, I know
getting to be a part

of an underwater show
was and is a dream for you."

"Unfortunately, at this time,
we do not have a position for you

in our underwater
performance department to offer you."

"However, your positive energy, efforts,
and courage is much appreciated."

"Myself and the rest of our crew
wishes you nothing but the best."

"I hope to see you again
in the near future."

"Best wishes, Eric."

"Dear Tristan,

I am pleased to offer you
a full-time job at Mertailor."

"Your first
day is May 6th."

Oh my gosh.

- Hey, T. What's up?
- Hey, Mom.

They hired me. My
first day is May 6th.

- Are you serious?
- Yes!

And we're gonna figure
what my role is at Mertailor,

but basically like,
"Welcome to the family."

You got something wonderful going,
and I'm proud of you.

- Love you.
- I love you too.

Bye, Mom!

I want Mertailor
to be my career.

I think I'm worthy.

I know…
I'm probably a liability, but…

Goals. Dreams.

When I was 19 years old,
I started at Walt Disney World

as a parade and show performer.

Tristan, four steps.
You're just twisting and that's why…

And I was selected
by a documentary crew

to show what it was like
to be a Disney performer.

And the night before
the first day of filming

was my first time doing drugs.

Today was my first day.
I didn't know what to expect.

I showed up,

cameras in my face,

thinking, "I'm
about to die."

Tristan looked very nervous.

I see him and eyes are this big
and he's like, "What?"

"I have to take these swords
and move 'em which way and do what?"

It's 'cause I was cracked out.

I was out of my mind.

I developed an
amphetamine addiction.

And it just grabbed a hold of me

in a way that I was
completely unprepared for.

I got fired from Disney.

I never thought I
would perform again.

Life got harder.

Life got really hard.

Someone sent me a mermaid tail.

And I noticed that
days that I swam

were days that I
either didn't use

or didn't even have a craving.

I'm sober now.

There are days
that are harder than others.

But…

Being a performer
in the tank for Eric…

That goal, I can see that light.

There's something that's drawn humanity
to the concept of mermaids

since before the written word.

And now with
the invention of social media,

we're starting to change
what it means to be a mermaid

and what a
mermaid can look like.

There are mermaids out there who have
absolutely excelled in social media

and in bringing mermaiding
to the world through that form.

Mermaid Hannah is the OG,
the original mermaid

that's been out
there since 2000.

She specializes in these incredible
underwater photo shoots with sharks

and other marine animals.

And then there's Merman Andy
out in California.

He's been revolutionizing
short form video format.

The Blixunami is this incredible force
of nature coming out of South Carolina.

He's become an inspiration
in the community.

I am The Blixunami,

and I am a non-binary merm.

I'm all about
entertaining people.

I'm the first merperson
with music out.

- Okay, rolling.
- Action.

People can call me crazy,
but I do not care.

I'm living my best life.

Stop there.

- Yes!
- It's right behind me, isn't it?

Yeah.

Oh God!

I'm working on a song
called "Splish-Splash on 'Em."

And I'm working on
the music video for it.

- Ooh…
- Wow. That's a beautiful shot.

- Yes!
- Holy sh*t.

Cut!

There's so many things I want to do,
but then when it comes to music videos,

you need a budget, you need money,
and I don't have a lot,

so I have to be super creative.

So I'm working with Merma Naja.

- Like this too.
- Yeah. Like, yeah…

I need you
for my music video, beautiful.

- Stick your hand out.
- Good boy. Good boy.

I think Blix
is going to be huge.

A huge star.

When I first met him I said,
"You know what?"

"You're gonna be famous."

Should we move Blix or…

Yeah, I don't…

'Cause you keep petting him.

I can't do
what I need to with a horse here.

- That's why I'm like step…
- I'm saying…

Naja gives me, as a mer-mom,

an encouragement
that I didn't get from my real mother.

- Do your thing. Yes.
- Yeah.

Blix is my mer-son.

He's my muse.

He's my inspiration.

After this, I still want to film
even bigger scenes.

I want to go all out
for the underwater scenes.

I'm trying to lip-synch
the whole song underwater too.

- The whole thing?
- The whole thing.

Next level.

- Just beyond.
- The sky is not the limit.

Come on in, guys.
You can come closer.

I know it's a nine-foot apex predator
with opposable thumbs,

but the glass is two inches thick.
You're probably fine.

If you're just joining us,

Kira here is our Atlantic Ocean
Bermuda Triangle mermaid.

She is a princess,
or at least she claims.

I haven't seen
a real mermaid in a long time.

In the US, it's very difficult
to be a full-time professional mermaid.

You pretty much need to be
a travelling performer

in the style of the old circus
in order to make this your full-time job.

In the bottom of her tank
are her sunken treasures.

She has one trick and one trick
only. It is fetch.

If you'd like her to swim
to the bottom of her tank

and fetch a treasure for you,
you can see our pirates.

Their one trick is
taking your money.

I'm on the road 48
weeks out of 52 a year.

It's an amazing, magical life.
You get to see a lot of the world.

But it is exhausting
on the travel side.

Whew! I'll just
live here now.

Okay.

The business of being
a sexy, graceful mermaid is so great.

It's when I come up, and there's snot
dripping down my face, and I just think,

"Are you not
entertained?"

Years ago this article ran,
and it said, "Professional mermaid,"

and the entire listing
was two sentences. It said,

"Professional mermaiding
is just like modelling,

only you sit on
a rock in a tail."

"Average salary,
60,000 a year."

Where is this rock?

Mermaid gigs fall
into two categories

that tend to be
family-friendly kid-focused,

or high glam, Vegas, corporate party,
rooftop pool kind of vibe.

In a kids' show
you might get weird questions,

and you need to have good improv
to deal with whatever that four-year-old

might throw at you,
trying to prove you're not real.

But at adult events,

your improv skills become
less about answering questions

and more about deflecting
without ruining the mood.

Men will ask us all the time,
"How does the mermaid have sex?"

And generally my answer is,
"Well, not with you, sir."

Yes!

Sexual harassment
is so common in the mermaid industry,

we actually have a term for it.

We call them "merverts."

The number of
guys that are like,

"A real mermaid
wouldn't wear a top."

Again, sir, how
many do you know?

How many mermaids?

I've had plenty of people tell me
my boobs are too small to be a mermaid.

"The things I'd
do to your tail."

"I could spank
you with that tail."

I'm just on "spanking the tail."
I'm like, "Do you know what that costs?"

"Are you funding my next tail?
No, take your hands off it."

"It's tailored." We start laughing.

Let's look at your buoyancy
this morning.

Exhale.

Dump it. Dump all the air
and take a breath.

Dump all the air
and take a breath.

It takes a lot of energy

and time to put into making
somebody an underwater performer.

Training them how to breathe
on the air hose,

working on facial expressions
and movements,

working on body
language underwater.

All right, stand up.
Just stand up straight.

And point your
toes, bend your knee.

You know, my dad took me to the audition,
and that was the first mermaiding thing.

So I've never done anything mermaiding.
But I love it now.

If you take a wrong breath
or if your body, you know,

decides that was not
a good enough breath,

it can be very easy to think,
"Oh my gosh, I'm drowning."

"There's water in my nose,
there's water in my sinuses,"

and everything starts
getting a little shaky-feeling.

Hey.

That was a hard one.

It's hard for me
to explain to people who aren't mers

how big of a deal it is
to work at Mertailor.

I hired Tristan because I knew
he wanted to grow with Mertailor.

He wanted to be part of Mertailor
and its future growth.

He wanted to be an
underwater performer,

but he was willing to do other things
at Mertailor to get there.

My goal at the top of the list
is being a performer in the tank for Eric.

And being sober and being ready

is gonna make…

make all my dreams come true.

I definitely believe, 1,000%,

that I am a descendant of a mermaid
because of my great-great-grandfather.

And let me tell you why.

Back in his day,

he was chilling at Edisto Beach,
where my family is mostly from.

He heard someone crying
and screaming really loudly,

and he searched the beach.

And he, all of a sudden,

found a mermaid washed up.

And he picked her up
and rescued her, nursed her.

And took her back to the beach
where he found her.

And she blessed him
for taking care of her, she swam off.

And that's why
I feel like I am…

I don't "feel like." I know
I am the blessing from her.

And that's why
I feel like I'm a descendant.

And now I'm the family mermaid.

- Hello!
- Happy birthday!

Happy birthday, Mama!

Hello!

- Hi!
- How you doing?

- I love you!
- Love you too.

What's up! What's up!
What's up! What's up!

What's up!

Daddy! Good seeing you.
Good seeing you.

I don't need no candles
setting my house on fire.

- All right, y'all.
- Hey!

One, two, three…

- Oh no! Uh-uh!
- We can't do that one.

I am…

Thank you. Thank
you. Thank you.

My mom was
definitely the average, Black,

churchgoing Christian mom.

I grew up around church, family,
gospel music playing every Sunday.

Being down south in Charleston,
it's very conservative.

The first time I remember
hearing a preacher

be very loud
and upset about h*m*,

it struck a chord in me,
'cause I knew then I was different.

I just didn't know what it was.

But then to hear such anger

and such rage
about someone being who they are

and not causing any harm

really put a bad
taste in my mouth.

So this is my childhood room.

I had dolls all over four walls,

I had mermaids everywhere,

I had seaweed dangling.

I had mermaid dolls
on the dresser everywhere.

My parents,

they were hard on me.

They were hard,
and it was because I was g*y,

and it was because
of the mermaids and the dolls.

One day, my mom
and dad were mad at me,

and my mom knocked
all my dolls off the dresser,

my dad was helping her.

I cried. I cried
like a baby.

When I had those rough times as a kid,
I would go in my room,

watching mermaid videos,
drawing mermaids.

But anything mermaid-related
kept me going.

All the negative built me up
for all the good mermaid stuff

that the universe had for me.

And I realized the universe
put me through all that

'cause it knew… I
was strong enough to go through it.

- We've a line of people out front.
- Yeah.

Good morning, fish friends!
How are we doing? Come on in!

Good morning.
Hey, little mermaids.

How we doing?
I love your shirt.

That is awesome.

Hey, little mermaid.

How are we?

Good morning.
Good morning.

I'm gonna swim past ya.

From the minute people come in
and then trying to move them through,

it's kind of like full ballet.

Hey, friends, can we all pretend
like we're cuttlefish and get close

to our friends and family so we can make
more room on the benches for people?

Oh, what's that?
What's that up there?

Good morning and welcome
to Mertailor's Mermaid Aquarium Encounter.

We are so happy
to have you here.

It's a magical place to visit.

But there is nothing easy
about the business that we operate.

He has basically leveraged
everything that he owns.

Remortgaging and additional
mortgages on his home

were absolutely necessary.

He's willing to take that risk
to make this dream come true.

She's probably my favorite,
which is Sapphire.

Yeah, she's from the West Coast.
Um, she's got blue spots.

Hey, buddy, how's it going?

The owner, Mertailor?

He's looking at growing
and getting bigger tanks.

We have two new tanks in back
we haven't brought up yet.

Next time y'all come, this place
is going to be bigger and better.

Every time. I
promise you that.

Last week, boss told me…
He comes up to me, and he goes,

"I know you want
to be a performer."

And he goes, "I'm finding ways
to make that happen."

So, I have stated more than once
you have great breath control.

Yeah.

Your ballet, you're a mermaid,
you wear a tail…

We just got to connect the dots.

Barbara has trained
so many people in her life.

You know, she's got a sense on
whether or not somebody has the ability

to be a mermaid or
underwater performer.

What you really have
to remember to do,

far beyond anybody
else's training,

'cause you're coming from the back door,
you have to remember to breathe.

I can't think about
my insecurities, how I'm not good enough.

All of that goes away,
and I have to focus on just breathing.

And that's what I'm trying to bring
into the rest of my life.

The air hose is my metaphor.

I'm on a journey
to find my mermaid family.

I've been saving up my tips

to go to a huge
mermaid convention.

It's an opportunity for me
to actually meet new mermaids,

connect with new mermaids.

There's mermaids
all over the place.

There's pods all
over the place as well.

There's the Midwest pod,
there's Texas pod, Cali pod,

Sacramento pod, Florida
pod, New York pod.

A lot of these pods gather together
and go to these mermaid conventions.

Glimmer, take one, mark.

I am Meera, Queen of Atlantis.

And for this particular event,

I have assembled a pirate crew.

I'm Marlayna Sereya.

I'm a 700-year-old siren
of the seven seas,

and I am the
Dexter of the ocean.

I finished this a
week or two ago,

and then this is
what I call an aqua-dron.

Echo is charismatic,
she's funny, she's a little bit ditsy,

she's innocent, and
she is this part of myself that I am

maybe leaving behind.

And I look to be an ambassador

that can easily go
between land and sea.

Because I can speak human
and I can speak fish,

and I can go back and forth,
then we can all live in harmony.

So that's my bigger goal.

I can't afford to go
to every mermaid audition.

But I have been desperately saving up
to go to Morgana's MerMagic Con,

which is the mermaid convention
that she organizes every year.

And this year there's actually a showcase
to showcase our talents.

I've got a two-minute
slot to perform.

Morgana is going to be watching,

and other huge people
that I just look up to so much.

I want them to see
how far I've come.

Because I auditioned for Morgana
a few years ago and blew it.

Bombed it.

And Morgana said to me…

Eh, she said,
"You're not ready."

And, um…

Hoo!

Ooh, it got me.

You know, I… I
took it really hard.

I was very… very
disappointed in myself.

So I cannot let
that happen again.

And I won't let
that happen again.

MerMagic Con,
I'm coming for you.

Hey, everybody, it's Abby,
your everyday mermaid,

and I'm with the
queen of MerMagic Con…

- Morgana!
- Hi!

I think it's probably
the densest concentration

of mermaid industry knowledge
probably ever assembled.

We want it to be a place where mermaids
can safely come and feel supported.

We have people
from all walks of life.

We have mermaids showing up that are
stay-at-home moms, that are CEOs.

And they're all coming together.

And it's gonna be an incredible event
for people from all backgrounds.

So, in the mermaid world,
we have our own vocabulary.

There's mermazing.

Fintastic.

Splashy.

Turtley.

Dolphinately.

For shore.

Um…

Sea you later.

All whale.

Shello!

And they be like, "Huh?"

I be like, "Shello.
Call me on my shell phone."

Go, seaster!
Go, seaster, go!

Now I'm having a hard time
getting out of character.

- Right.
- Because I went in too deep.

- Do you make these? Who makes these?
- Yeah. I made this one.

- My little Mini Me.
- Oh!

That is perfection.

All right, we have a
really exciting announcement for you.

This year we invited
more mermaids than ever before,

and it is the biggest
MerMagic Con on record.

You guys know
we love to bring you surprises.

We have a brand-new
product from Mertailor.

Yeah!

Who could not be here 'cause he's got
his big aquarium he's working with.

And finally, for those of you
who are in the showcase later today,

you have two minutes
for your performance time.

You have two minutes
to show us what you've got.

Ready?

Three,

two,

one…

Drop! Go!

All right, guys, we're about to start
the afternoon showcase.

You're gonna have two minutes
to show us what you got. All right?

You can tell a
lot in two minutes.

I'm always looking for mermaids
who can turn my head without even trying.

I have hired Circus Siren Pod members
from scoping new talent at MerMagic Con.

But I'm a little
difficult to please.

Her fin could be
higher on the duck dive.

You need to have clean lines,

you need to swim beautifully, gracefully,
like you're made for that water.

And above all else,

can you make me believe
you really are this magical creature?

Oh, she gives great underwater face.
That was straight into the camera.

Breathing out through the nose
we gotta work on,

'cause it's a rush of bubbles
when she surfaces.

All right, Chè's up.

All right, here we
go. Here we go.

She doesn't get
stiff in the water.

A lot of people do because
that very mammalian fear sinks in.

My
Biggest fear…

is disappointing Morgana.

Sparkles?

Are you ready?

Sparkles!

Oh my God!

Look at how slow she is.

Yes. Beautiful, slow…

Oh, it's like she's in slow motion.
It's fantastic.

Oh my God.

I'm honestly blown away.

Like, this is not the same performer
I saw four years ago.

I am shocked.

She's dead-on.
Look at that.

She's had the best
connection with her audience

of anyone I've seen today.

Oh, her arms are
so nice and smooth.

Absolutely
fantastic. That was…

Will you come here for me?

Will you come here?

Sweetie, you are unrecognizable.

You are not the same performer
I saw four years ago. I was…

I literally did not
have a critique.

That was incredible.

Incredible. The skill was there.
The talent was there.

You looked so at ease, so comfortable.
Like you were home, like a real mermaid.

That was incredible.

- Oh, sweetie.
- I practiced.

What I am most impressed by
is that you had such a hard time in 2019,

and you came back,
and you kicked a*s.

Not a lot of people do that.

Some people have one rough audition,
and it kills it for them.

And the fact that you improved
and came back takes so much bravery

and so much strength.

Your performance was
incredible, but that…

That's what tells me
you're gonna make it in the industry.

This is, like, the most
incredible moment of my entire life.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- No dead mermaids.
- No dead mermaids.

- Thank you, Morgana.
- Thank you. That was incredible to watch.

So you can hear me.

Breathe, my love, breathe.

Buskie?

Hey, Sparkles.
How are you doing?

I'm doing well.
How are you?

I'm so excited
to be calling you.

How would you like to be
a guest performer with us in Las Vegas?

What?

Pack your tail, sweetie.