01x05 - Jawaniyaan

[bunniefuu]

What happened, mister?

I got robbed, sir.

Where?

Home.

Where was the building
security guard at the time?

No, not at home.

It happened outside the building.

Don't cook up stories, you'll get caught.

Sir, I stepped out to buy medicines.

On my way back,

I got mugged.

In which area?

Under the Matunga flyover.

What time?

At night…

3:00 a.m.

Okay. We'll investigate this
and let you know tomorrow.

Okay, sir.

Take care.

This city has become so unsafe, right?

I mean, not just for women--

Why are you protecting him?

If he loved you, he wouldn't hurt you.

He won't be able to see you like this.

Can someone please
put some sense into him?!

This is abuse and we must report it.

Mel, Lavu is right.

The cops are also involved now.

I think you should tell them
what happened.

Preeto, where have you been?

You know how badly I need you.

Sorry, I've just--

Still on?

I don't know.

I'm really confused.

Pity f*ck?

Self-pity!

I have my lonely nights, Lav.

What's wrong?

We're fighting a lot.

-Do you think I'm doing the right thing?
-Of course, you are!

Both of you are perfect for each other
and always have been.

I think it's this whole wedding thing.

It's just getting to me and

now I just can't wait for it to get over.

Maybe you're so stressed

because you're trying to take
control of too many things.

Let go a little bit.

You don't have to bite
everyone's head off.

Spare someone at least.

Go on a date with Rishabh?

You guys were so cute in college.

Yeah.

-Hello?
-Should I say hello to your sister?

If you dare touch Melroy again,
I'll f*ck your happiness.

Who is this?

Your dad!

If your dad finds out
why you make frequent trips to Bombay,

he'll come here
and get you married, as*h*le!

Give my regards to Uncle.

m*therf*cker.

Hey! Let go!

Else I'll tickle you.

Come here.

Let me go!

Hey, what's this?

I WANT YOUR BODY

GO ON AND MASTURBATE

PLEASE

What are you doing here?

Why are you here?

I just…

I need a break.

From the relationship?

No, you fool!

From this whole wedding madness.

Are you okay?

Come with me.

-Fine, let me get the bike keys.
-Not the bike.

I want to go on a date
with my college lover.

Please.

-You mean the world to me
-Stop.

-You're the one I want
-Wait, just a minute.

-Stand here.
-The one I want to spend my nights with

You and I… are one

My love

-You're the right one for me
-Two half-glasses, please.

-My right, my wrong
-We'll fall sick if we have this.

This is where we'd fallen in love too.

What if he has beaten him up so badly,

that he's hiding him now?

I feel the same.

Hang on, Mr. Pitroda has a dog, right?

So what?

A dog-walker goes
to their house every day.

-So?
-We can ask him about Melroy, baby.

How's Melroy and what's going on?

-Baby?!
-Baby?!

I feel it, like it

I do want it, I so want it

This is worth it

I feel it, like it

Lavu, I'm sorry

about that night at the cafe

Baby, it's not about the money
or the f*cking app.

-It's about--
-It's about the house.

That's the bigger goal,

and in these three years,
we've actually made one-fourth of it.

Dude, a sea-facing house.

-Yeah.
-We should be able to afford

one in three years.

I think.

No man!

Promise.

I'm really sorry, Rishu.

I've been a first-class b*tch to you.

You know what,
I'm turned on by your temper.

And I… by your stupidity.

I feel it, like it

-I do want it, I so want it
-I love you.

This is worth it

I feel it, like it
I so want it, I don't want it

Kkrish Malhotra's Bandookbaaz 2
is this week's big release.

Say namaste.

Namaste.

Oh, f*ck!

Let's hear what the audience
has to say about the film.

This film is like Kkrish Malhotra taking
a dump from a skyscraper!

They think the audience
is foolish and drunk…

-Slow.
-Such long dialogues

that lead to nothing.

The cl*max is useless!

I feel like setting the theater on fire.

They should give us a refund.

I'll give him fewer stars than
the no. of Ks in his name!

Kkrish.

This isn't working.

What isn't?

I can't do this any longer.

Is it because my movie is going to flop?

What?!

No!

Who thinks like that? No!

You know what,
I was dealing with my anxiety first.

Then I found you… twice!

And now you're dumping me.

And I can't even come to you
for counseling.

What am I supposed to do?

I'll give you another counselor's number.

You know what,

my PR said, "If you want
to be liked by the masses,

date a common girl."

You were my PR, so f*ck you!

f*ck you!

f*ck.

Get out!

Good boy.

CHEETAHMAN TURNED OUT TO BE AN ANIMAL

TERRIBLE FILM, TERRIBLE PERSON

SUPER USELESS, NOT SUPERSTAR

HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU WANT?

Hi.

Isn't this Mr. Pitroda's doggy?

-Mufasa.
-Really?

Yes. I'm Mr. Pitroda's son,
Melroy's friend Chiraunjimal.

Hello.

Where is Melroy nowadays?

I took the dog for a walk at night,

and when I got back, Melroy wasn't there.

Mr. Pitroda said he has gone
to Pune for a week.

-What?
-To Pune? Why?

I don't know.

I should leave now, Chiraunjimal.

I'm getting late.

Okay.

If you use my father's name again I'll…

You'll what?

Aunt May,
don't you think green is his color?

I think, take these curtains,
we'll make more clothes for you.

Mister.

-Yes, sir?
-That boy, whose photo you recognized,

I beat him black and blue last night,

but the bugger refused to confess.

It's easy to get confessions
in such cases, normally.

But this boy…

I don't understand why.

Was there something
expensive in your wallet?

No, sir.

I see.

What do you want me to do?

Let him go, sir.

Have you lost your mind?

After all the work we've put in,
you want us to let him go?

What's the real story?

Sir,

my boyfriend hit me.

What are you doing, sir?

You are the ones holding
protest marches all the time.

-What's it called? LGBTQ-ABCD…
-Please stop it, sir.

What about the innocent guy
we've thrashed?

Who will hold a protest march for him?

The whole thing is over now.

This is a hospital and he is a patient.

You bloody rainbow freak threw
that poor guy under the bus!

Please leave now. He is a patient.

Give it back.

What are you doing?

What are you doing?!

It's okay.

No, it's not okay.

And you don't seem to understand that.

-Show us some more.
-This is…

this is now. Very recent.

And these are real.

-These are real?
-They are.

-Could you zoom in…
-Guys…

You're living the life, Arjun.

-Right.
-f*ck, wow!

I'm stuck with the same since 2010.
Summer, winter…

Aayat's here now so…

So your hand gets some rest?

He's been at it non-stop.

m*therf*cker!

Since childhood…

I'm playing the same
f*cking video game, f*ck.

Really?

And was it your dad who went to Bangkok?

Papa doesn't go to Bangkok.

Hello,

-my dad doesn't go to Bangkok.
-Really?

Papa goes to Russia.

Uncle is a dude, man! Uncle is having fun!

Uncle…

-Uncle…
-Yes, Lavender?

Listen, I'm going to Mom's.

-What happened?
-Nothing.

The usual.

She had a breakup.

sh*t!

I can be there in half an hour.

No, I'll handle it.

You sure?

Okay, love you.

So, Papa was saying…

Mom,

got you some chips and doughnuts.

Get in, everyone. Get close.

Yes, Lavu?

Listen, code red.

Anish is going to Italy for a year.

Mom doesn't want
to do long-distance anymore.

Okay. Should I come over?

No, don't worry. I'll handle it.

Think I'll just stay in tonight.

Cool.

Should I come over?

Shut up.

Bro.

Thank you, man.

Is this the first time
someone paid for your drinks?

Not about that,
you take so much care of Ma.

Hey! f*ck off.

f*ck off.

You would've done the same
if my mom was in Canada too, right?

So?

Okay fine.

Wait, hear me out.

Are you sleepy?

-No.
-Want to go for a ride?

Yes. Sit.

Not on a bike. I get chased, man.

Who chases you?

People.

I don't think I'm gonna
be falling in love again.

I'm so done!

Didn't the doctor say the same thing?

I'm nearing menopause.

How does it matter?

Just feels like the end of an era.

And so soon!

There's so much I wanted to do.

Knowing you, Mom.

You'll do it anyway.

There's nothing stopping you.

Do you want to watch something nice?

Yeah.

Slasher movie maybe.

Is he answering?

Shahid!

Shahid!

Shahid!

Come down!

The whole street will wake up.
What's wrong with you?

-You look so cute!
-Let's go!

-Youth will soon pass us by
-Let's make her drink all the wine.

This moment is all that we've got
To live our friendship

Youth will soon pass us by

Melroy!

-This moment is all that we've got
-He isn't here as well.

To live our friendship

'Cause all you need is real love
Real friends, real life

Now that I've loved and lost, I realize

The ones who're there
When you're low or high

Know their worth

'Cause all you need is real love
Real friends, real life

Now that I've loved and lost, I realize

The ones who're there
When you're low or high

Know their worth

Youth will soon pass us by

This moment is all that we've got
To live our friendship

You're my victory, you're my defeat

You're my love, my friend

You're my victory, you're my defeat

You're my love, my friend

If I don't have you, this life

With all its gifts it means nothing

Youth will soon pass us by…

It's very late, we'll
look for Melroy in the morning.

…that we've got To live our friendship

The doggy in our school, Socket…

-was…
-In a weird mood.

He ran out of the gate while
we were playing with him and…

He was hit by a bike coming at full speed.

We took some money from our teacher and…

We took him to the vet.

-He…
-Was seriously hurt.

Thank God he didn't propose
to me like this.

Whose idea is this?

Everything looks so pink.

I paid a lot of money for it.

You look so pretty.

Thank you.

Listen, I want this for my proposal.

-Hold up!
-Wow!

Is this a new tattoo?

You didn't see it on my story?

Of course, I did.

I posted it on my story.

Beautiful.

Guys, Shahid keeps disconnecting my call.

I think it's performance pressure.

He's doing all this to get laid.

-Good for him.
-But people marry just to get laid.

-There you go.
-No!

Even though I'm getting married,
I don't get laid!

What? Lavu?

-Ever?
-Neither do I.

-You get my pain, bro.
-I know.

-Sexless lot!
-You won't understand, bro.

-You, let it be!
-You, let it be!

Preet, is that psycho
on steroids suing you?

-Don't know. Don't care.
-Nice.

You and I just attract
all the psychos, don't we?

Listen, Shahid and his queen
are coming or not?

-Phone is switched off.
-The queen has run away.

So has the king.

-Oh sh*t!
-Oh no!

What happened, Shahid?

Nothing much,
Dad got drunk and hit me again.

So sorry, man.

Who will come to save me?

You're a strong guy.

Shahid, let's bunk school today.

-You, don't get him into trouble.
-Baby…

just trust me.

Since you called me "baby", fine.

What's so "fine" here?

I'm the one who gets beaten up at home.

-Come on.
-Let's go.

Baby?!

-Get back!
-Just a minute.

When you walk tick-tock-tick

All eyes are on you-you-you

-I swear-swear-swear on you
-Swear on you

When you walk tick-tock-tick…

-I have a husband.
-What?

I have a husband.

He just came back from the US,

we're trying to work things out.
I may go back.

Leave it at bay

Your swag, sweetheart

Don't go out looking like the way you do

-Leave it at bay--
-Stop. Stop!

Shut up, Ajju!

She's not feeling too well.

The f*ck!

Shahid, what's going on?

Shahid, this isn't…

We barely know each other.

And I told you what's happening.

Told you what?

Her husband is back.

She has a husband.

They're working it out.

I can't… I can't do this.

I'm so sorry, everyone.

I'm gonna go.

-I'll…
-I can drop you.

I'll get a cab.

Okay, sorry.

She has a husband.

She just told me.

What a bloody fool I am!

Here's your Maggi.

It's not your fault.

It's my sh*t luck.

I've been wanting to quit school,

I stayed back only because she joined,

f*cking hoping for love.

f*ck love! Why do you need love?

You have your friends,

you're not alone.

I am alone.

You're the only one who's there for me.

And you also call me when
no one else answers your call!

You know that's not true.

It's f*cking true.

No one has ever called me and asked,

"Hey, Shahid, how are you?

Are you okay?"

That's because everyone thinks you are.

I'm not!

I'm not.

I'm sorry.

You're a dear friend to us, Shahid.

You know that.

This "us" that you're referring to,

I'm not a part of it.

You're saying this because you're angry.

Nobody's ever made you feel this way.

Okay, man. f*ck it.

Fine.

I really f*cking thought she was the one.

Cutes, you are the one.

Everyone else is the other one.

Great line, but I can't afford
to pay you for it.

Want some more Maggi?

Sure.

Eat the yogurt.

Know what…

I had a great time in Mussoorie.

Why?

I've been lying to you.

I thought you'll feel bad.

Why now?

Because I don't want any secrets
between us.

Want to know a secret?

I really wanted to go to Mussoorie.

Better be okay, b*stard.

What do you mean?

If the girl tells you she has a husband
when you're proposing to her,

-how will you feel?
-Yeah, bro.

He has a hard life. It can't be helped.

Let's go.

-Let's go.
-f*ck.

f*ck!

-What's wrong?
-What's wrong?

I've lost my money.

-What money?
-The money I'd invested in the app.

Is this the one we'd spoken about,
Rishabh?

Give it.

Rishabh, is this the house fund?

Is this our house fund, Rishabh?

I'm figuring it out, Lavanya.

What the actual f*ck!

The app was to go live today,

but the investors have pulled out
at the last minute

and sent me a message right now, baby.

I'm figuring it out, okay?

-I'm figuring--
-I've been telling you for months… years,

not to invest in these stupid apps.

You have such a big ego
that you refuse to listen!

Thank you so much.

You're welcome…

for losing our future home.

Rishabh, you're so--

This plan of yours was f*ck all,
to begin with, Lavanya.

Calm down, Rishabh.

That we have to buy
a house in our thirties!

Can't live in a rented place.

What's the f*cking big deal?

If we can't afford it now,
we can buy a house in our forties.

Listen, guys. We'll figure something out.

I'm going to handle this, bro…

-Arjun, drop us both home.
-But why? My bike is parked right there.

Leave the bike here.

I'm getting married in a week.

-You're not driving that bike drunk!
-That's not happening, bro.

-Let's go.
-We're broke also now, let's go home.

Don't be f*ck all now, Lavanya.

Did you just call me f*ck all?

You lost our house money to a stupid app--

-Oh my, God. I am f*cking sorry!
-No, you're not! You're not.

-Take her home, Arjun.
-Please sit in the car.

Why won't you listen to me?

-Take her home.
-Sit in the car.

Arjun, I need a ride to clear my head.

-I'm going home.
-Fine. Go!

-I'll go in the car--
-Go!

You're drunk, what are you even doing?

I'm not f*cking drunk, okay!

-Come on, please…
-Shut up.

Rishabh.