02x06 - Last Fred Standing/From Dust Till Dawn

[bunniefuu]

So why are we looking at this old stuff?

- Is the TV broken?
- Is it?

Calm down. Your beloved is TV is fine.

Hijos, today is very important.

It's the day I teach Kevin
how to clean la vajilla.

La vajilla are plates and silverware,

and other things that have been
in our family for generations.

- Cool. Can I touch them?
- No.

You never touch la vajilla.

These are important to our family legacy.

We cherish
and look after them, but never touch.

[speaking Spanish]

So we just have
these things to clean them?

Yes. Our family has passed down
powerful cleaning techniques

that fight dust and dirt,
and I will pass them to you, Kevin,

as you have reached
the age of responsibility.

Wow! I can't wait to learn how to clean.

Good. Because if you
don't take care of la vajilla,

you will bring doom to our family.

- Doom?
- Doom!

Hello?

Oh, yes, I am interested
in changing my cellular plan.

I have to take this. Don't touch anything.

Sorry. I was teaching
my grandson how to clean la vajilla.

Yes, I told him about the doom.

Well, I guess it's not going to be

a particularly interesting--

[gasps] Gretel! What are you doing?

Kevin, relax. I just want
to take a closer look.

- What if you drop it?
- I'm not gonna drop it.

I'm a superhero.

- My reflex--
- Gretel!

[♪ dramatic music playing]

- [all sighing in relief]
- [gasping]

What have you done!

- She did it.
- I'm sorry!

Our family is doomed!

I'm sure we're not doomed, abuelita.

You don't understand.

It's the sugar bowl all over again.

Sugar bowl?

I grew up on my family's farm.

My grandmother, abuelita Julita,

got a sugar bowl for her wedding.

It was one of her most prized possessions.

And one day when I was five years old,
abuelita was cleaning it.

She warned me not to touch anything.

And I thought, what could be the harm?

No!

We are doomed!

[abuelita] And she wasn't kidding.
The doom started right away.

The sugar bowl was ruined,
and the horses dragged my grandfather

into a rock-filled desert.

He was dragged to his death?

No, the many cactuses
protected him from the rocks.

Ow, ow, ow, ow...

[abuelita] But when the horse reached
the ravine, he was thrown off a cliff.

[gasps] To his death?

No, not to his death.

To a river filled
with giant pointed rocks!

And that's how he died?

No, he was a very strong swimmer.

Unfortunately, he didn't do so well
with the giant waterfall.

[screaming]

- Surely that was the end--
- No.

For his fall was broken
by a pond of piranhas.

So he was eaten by piranhas?

No, that is a made-up belief from movies.

He simply waded out and set out for home

across the treacherous jungle
without supplies.

Where he finally succumbed to thirst?

No, He was actually quite close to home.

Fifteen- minute walk, maybe.
He came back safe and sound.

Abuelita, I don't understand.

He was fine. Where was the doom?

Two days later, we lost the farm
because of a clerical accounting error.

That's very sad,
but I'm not seeing the connection.

My abuelita Julita never forgave me,

and I know it was my fault.

Well, you know what they say.

Sometimes when you can't do anything else,
you've just got to laugh.

[laughing]

[Gretel] Why are we outside now?

- Doom!
- I believe the word was "banished."

Ah. I feel terrible now.

How are we going to un-doom the family?

Look, I don't think
the doom was real, but her upset is real.

So we got to fix this teapot.

Hey, Grant-Gomez family. Got your mail.

Why the long faces?

I broke my grandma's teapot.

Ooh, 18th-century
South American terracotta.

Oh. That's a shame.

But you know, there's an antique fair
today at Cliffside Park.

They've probably got
someone who can fix it.

That's a great idea. Thanks, Rosie.

[drill whirring]

Is that your grandmother
changing the locks?

Yeah. We better get down to that fair.

Uh, hi. We desperately
need this teapot fixed.

Hmm. 18th-century
South American terracotta.

Not too bad. I'll have this like new.

Not like new. Like old.
[chuckles] You get it?

Awesome. See, I told you there's no doom.

Hey, maybe abuelita's over it by now.

Doom!

Here you go. Teapot perfectly fixed.

Just don't use it for a few days.

Oh, don't worry. It never gets used.

Doom averted.

Step away from the vintage teapot.

Ah, 18th-century
South American terracotta.

Don't see a lot of those.

- And I'll take that.
- Hey!

Who do you think you are?

I am the Dust Mite,
collector of antiquities, big and small.

And by collector, I mean I steal them.

Okay, but what do dust
or mites have to do with it?

[Dust Mite] So glad you asked.

♪ For me, collectible antiquities
are hard to resist ♪

♪ But my particular affinities
were always dismissed ♪

♪ It didn't matter
what was on my vintage shopping list ♪

♪ Because my parents were
postmodern minimalists ♪

♪ I wanted older stuff,
but my folks said no ♪

♪ I'm a bit anachronistic
and they told me so ♪

♪ I always want to fix it
if it ain't broke ♪

♪ Victorian or Renaissance
or Art Nouveau ♪

♪ So I did the only sensible thing to do ♪

♪ Developed nanodust and a power suit ♪

♪ And two giant dust mites
to do my bidding ♪

I mean,
look at that Chippendale. Are you kidding?

♪ Who on Earth would do such a thing? ♪

♪ Well, a dust mite might ♪

♪ A dust mite might ♪

♪ If I had my way, I'd take everything ♪

♪ I'd take every antique in sight ♪

♪ Like a dust mite might ♪

♪ A dust mite might ♪

♪ A dust mite might ♪

Oh, okay. That's pretty clear.
You use dust to take antiques.

Not on our watch.

I've never been so ready
to clean up a mess.

[Dust Mite] Well, I hope you
like cleaning up dust.

[groans] I can't see anything.

Dust is the worst!

[groaning and coughing]

[both groaning]

[Hamster] Second-worst.

[grunting]

Get your priceless antique--

- [screams]
- Ow!

Shards! Priceless antique shards.

Whoa! Is that...

[Dust Mite] Capoeira,
the Brazilian martial art.

It's mesmerizing-- [groans]

Ow! But also wow.

- Kevin? Hamster?
- No, no, no, no!

She got away with our teapot!

Doom!

So the dust field she creates makes
it almost impossible for us to fight her.

She also knows capoeira.

The Brazilian martial art?

Yes, she kicked me,

and it was the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen.

We've lost the teapot forever,
and now we're doomed.

Abuelita was right.

Wait, that's it! Abuelita.

She's expert at fighting dust.
We could ask her to help.

[abuelita screaming] Doom!

On second thought, maybe not.

The Dust Mite is attacking downtown.

Well, I started this mess.
It's on me to clean it up.

You go ahead. I'm gonna talk to abuelita.

- We've got to get those techniques.
- Let's go.

It'll be painful, but beautiful.

[Dust Mite] Another one bites the dust.

But now the dust fights back.

Stop right there, you filthy criminal.

We're here to retrieve a teapot

that means a lot to someone's grandma.

I mean, a lot, a lot.

Some would say too much.
But it doesn't matter.

Because when something
means something to someone you love--

- All right, pump the brakes.
- This teapot? You want it?

Come and get it!

The duster isn't working. [coughing]

Same with the window cleaner.

I told you she didn't have windows.

It says it's an all-purpose cleaner.

Are you okay?

It's poetry in motion.

Doom!

Abuelita... Um...

I know you're upset.

But do you think you could teach me

those cleaning techniques
you talked about?

Ay, I guess so.

It's not like we can get more doom.

Please, abuelita. It's really important.

Oh, no. Not the sugar bowl.

Abuelita, we need your help to--

"Carmen, I know you chipped my sugar bowl

and blamed yourself
for dooming our family.

But I want you to know
that there never was any doom.

No family that stick together
is ever doomed.

Love, Abuelita Julita."

Aw. That's sweet.

I mean, it would've been
better if she just told you,

instead of sticking it in your sugar bowl
for you to find 70 years later.

But the sentiment is there.

My abuelita wasn't that upset.

We were not doomed!

We interrupt Cosas Tristes y Terribles
with real cosas terribles.

I'm here downtown, where a dust villain

is really aggravating my spring allergies,

and also kicking
Hamster and Gretel's butts.

Hey, superhero Gretel.

It's looking pretty bad out there.

- Why don't you just give up?
- I can't give up.

I let someone down who I love very much,
and I have to make it right.

Is there nobody out there
who can dust this dust villain?

Take me to Gretel!

Get away from her.

Abuelita!

Looks like you need a steam clean.

Gretel! Ataque!

- [Dust Mite] Uh...
- She's all yours, raton.

- [Dust Mite] Capoeira.
- I learned from the best.

I've got just the mixture
to deal with dust mites, big or small.

Two parts vinegar, one part apple cider.

- Zero parts dust mites.
- [police siren wailing]

Rosie, our mail carrier?

Yeah, you got me. [chuckles]

Wait. What does being a mail carrier
have to do with all this?

Nothing. A person can have
a passion outside their job, you know.

Abuelita. I thought
you were still angry at me about the doom.

No, not anymore.

I realized that the only real doom
is if something happened to you.

[coughs] What about me?

You too, Kevin.

Hey, I found the teapot.

- [crashes]
- [gasps]

[all sighing]

[♪ theme music playing]

♪ Hamster and Gretel ♪

♪ It's Hamster ♪

♪ Hamster and Gretel ♪