02x05 - The More The Meteor/My Hammie Vice

[bunniefuu]

This is Veronica Hill,
Action News.

Standing outside
our city's beloved zoo,

where a daring
late-night robbery

has ruffled some feathers.

With me is zoo director
Dr. Katherine Hawthorne.

The thieves stole
only our rarest animals.

Ollie the ostrich,
Ignazio the ibex,

Antonio the anteater.

Mama's coming to find you,
my babies. [sobbing]

Thank you, Dr. Hawthorne.

Police are saying this theft
is the work of The Syndicate,

a shadowy
crime organization.

But one thing's
for certain,

the police
can't bear to watch

this kind of
criminal activity.

They're on the case
and won't be lion around.

Owl keep you informed
of any developments.

Zebra.

This Syndicate
is impossible to catch.

We've been
after them for weeks

and don't have
a single lead.

How about we stake out all the places
that have rare animals?

- [Kevin] Hm.
- I don't know.

- I think we can do better.
- I have a suggestion.

How about you not sh**t down
every idea of mine?

- [Kevin] Hm.
- I don't know.

I think we can do better.

Why don't you guys
take my ideas seriously?

Hamster, you're more
of the strong, silent type.

Which is exactly
what we need right now.

Word on the street is that
The Syndicate is looking

for some new tough guys
down at the docks.

That's perfect.

Hamster, you can
go undercover,

and you can help us
bring down The Syndicate.

What about my stakeout idea?

Who wants Hamster
to go undercover?

Fine. Can I at least
wear a mustache?

- [Kevin] Hm.
- I don't know.

I think we can do better.

I knew I should've
had a mustache.

Now, remember,
just say things a tough guy would say.

Hey, fellas.

Guess what, I had
cereal this morning without milk.

- [men gasping]
- Hey!

I'm the
cereal-without-milk guy in this g*ng.

Fight, fight, fight!

I was stacking those!

- [horn hoking]
- [Hamster] Hm?

- The Syndicate.
- They're scary.

My mommy told me
to stay away from them.

Get in. The boss
wants to see you.

And you don't want
to keep the boss waiting.

Because he's got
a chiropractor appointment.

And you don't want
to prolong his back pain.

Because he gets very grumpy.

Now we wait.

You got any other
cop movie cliches you wanna say?

I'm taking you off the case!

[bleats]

Mr. Large, this is the troublemaker
I was telling you about.

So you think
you're a tough guy, huh?

I don't think I'm a tough guy,
I know I'm a tough guy.

You've got a lot of nerve
talking to me like that, and I love that!

- [Hamster] Nice operation you've got here.
- [Mr. Large] Thanks.

Well, we've got to round up
a few more animals by the end of the week.

That's when
the boss is coming in to make the sale.

Aren't you the boss
of The Syndicate?

Your name is Mr. Large.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You're asking a lot of questions, Mr...

Johnny. Johnny "The Hamster."

Why do they call you
The Hamster?

I guess it's because
I look like one.

I love it
when a nickname makes sense.

- [man screaming]
- [bear growling]

Mr. Large,
the animals are acting up.

We can't get them
in their cages.

I got an idea, but...

Uh, never mind.
You probably wouldn't like it.

No. Go on.

Well, a lot of animals
are calmed down

when they hear
Eastern European folk music.

Luckily, I brought
my balalaika.

[♪ playing melancholic music
on balalaika]

All right, Johnny,
I'll take a chance on you.

But I gotta tell you,
the thing I hate the most is a rat.

You're not a rat,
are you, Johnny?

I'm pretty sure we agreed
I look like a hamster.

[laughing]

I love it
when someone answers

an ominous question
with a joke. [chuckles]

I think you're gonna
fit right in, Johnny.

♪ When I step in
Through the door ♪

♪ Everybody better
Fall in line ♪

♪ I don't care
What you came here for ♪

♪ But it was all
By my design ♪

♪ Maybe you think
You've got it down ♪

♪ But you're about
To learn your lesson ♪

♪ If you think
That you've got confidence ♪

♪ You better check out
My expression ♪

♪ I got my game face on ♪

♪ That means everything's
Going bad for you ♪

♪ That means everything's
Gonna go, gonna go ♪

♪ Bad for you ♪

♪ I got my game face on ♪

♪ And when you see that
You better step aside ♪

♪ And let me pass on through ♪

♪ Better let him
Pass on through ♪

♪ When I got my game face ♪

I'm getting worried
about Hamster.

It's been days,
and he hasn't even called us.

I know. Sometimes I start
to worry that he--

Might not be
up to the task?

Might be doing a bad job
because he has bad ideas?

What? No.
None of those things.

Then why don't you
have any faith in me?

We do!

We just got worried
when we didn't hear from you.

You know who does
trust me? The boys.

And Mr. Large thinks
I have good ideas.

You remember that Mr. Large
is the bad guy, right?

Don't worry.
You made it very clear

that I was just the muscle
in our operation,

and I'll be the muscle.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I gotta get back.

Do you know
if they validate here?

You don't have a car.

Great. I guess
that's my fault, too.

Whatever.

Oh, good, Johnny,
you're back.

All right, people,
listen up.

Our last shipment
comes in at 8:00,

and then
we're making the sale.

Now, let's go sell
some endangered animals.

[men cheering]

Wait, Johnny,
I want to talk to you.

I, uh, just wanted to say
that you're like the son I never had.

I mean, I do have an actual son,
but he's, he's terrible.

In fact, I had a little something
made for the two of us.

[Hamster gasps]

Wow. I don't know
what to say.

I'm really touched.

All right.
Well, uh, enjoy it.

- Hello.
- They're shipping out the animals at 8:00.

Now's our chance.

I knew you'd
come through, Hamster.

I can't wait to see the looks
on those crooks' faces

when they find out
you totally betrayed them.

I mean,
they're gonna feel so bad

that someone
they really trusted

was actually working
against them.

- Uh, yeah, right. I gotta go.
- [line disconnects]

- Um, Mr. Large?
- Hey, Johnny, what's wrong?

There's something
I have to tell you.

Okay. They just brought in
the last shipment of animals.

Well, then it's time to put
those animal nappers out of business.

And put them
in some striped pajamas.

Where are you getting these?

Big Book
of Police Movie Cliches.

[sighs] Just go, Gretel.

Your days of trapping
helpless animals are over, Large.

I'm not sure about that,
Gretel, the superhero.

We've been expecting you.

What? How did you know
I was coming?

A good friend gave us a tip.

You turned on me?
Why would you do that?

Very good.
But I'll take things from here.

Johnny, I'd like you
to meet the real head of The Syndicate.

[gasps] Dr. Hawthorne.

You've been stealing
your own animals? But why?

I inherited that lousy zoo
from my parents,

but I hate animals.

Then I realized
I could steal those smelly creatures

and sell them for a fortune
to eccentric villains as pets.

And with you out of the way, Gretel,
no one can stop us.

Unless they were
recording your confession.

[Dr. Hawthorne on recorder]
Then sell them for a fortune.

Johnny "The Hamster,"
you're Hamster "The Hamster"?

And I bought us
matching sweaters!

I knew you'd never
betray me, Hamster. Let's get 'em.

I think you're
forgetting something.

You're trapped
in a force field.

I think you're
forgetting something.

I know where
the force-field controls are.

Very clever.

Except we knew
you were an impostor from day one.

- [Hamster] Hm.
- You were a little too perfect, too loyal.

And your skydiving technique
just a little too graceful.

Curse my natural athleticism.

We knew
you'd double-cross us.

That's why we installed
this fake force field where we're standing

and a real force field
where you're standing.

- [Gretel gasps]
- Well, I knew you'd know

that I'd double-cross you.

That's why when Mr. Large
called the force-field man,

I called my own
fake force-field man,

who replaced
the real force field that you installed

with this fake force field
that we installed.

Well, I did not know that.

Get them!

[lasers firing]

- We're outnumbered!
- Wait, I have an idea.

Folk music may calm
animals down...

but rock music
will do the opposite.

[♪ playing electric rock music]

[growling]

[crowing]

[Mr. Large whimpering]

[man shrieking]

[man grunts]

[trumpeting]

This is why I hate animals.

This doesn't hurt as much
as Johnny's betrayal,

but I should probably go
to the hospital.

Mr. Large, I just
wanted you to know

I appreciate how nice
you were to me.

Well, I meant every word.

Say, maybe we could
write to each other while I'm in jail.

Yeah, I'm not really
the pen pal type.

But good luck with that.

Fair enough. I'm more
of an emojis guy anyway.

Prayer hands, peace sign,
upside down smiley face, Johnny.

Hamster, I'm really sorry
we didn't trust you more.

But why didn't you just
tell us about your plan?

I knew the only way
to prove my loyalty to Mr. Large

was to pretend
to be disloyal to you.

- Also I knew you'd vote down my idea.
- Ouch.

Well, we were wrong.
It was a great idea.

And next time, we'll all
take you more seriously.

- Thanks, Kevin.
- But if you ever pull another stunt

like that again, I'll have
your badge, rookie.

Wait, wait.
What about this?

"Break rank again, and you'll be on
desk duty for the rest of your career."

Oh, give me that.

[Kevin sighs] What a shame.

That book was one day away
from retirement.

[♪ theme music playing]

♪ Hamster and Gretel ♪

♪ It's Hamster ♪

♪ Hamster and Gretel ♪