Sx02 - Lore Of The Ring Light

[bunniefuu]

-[♪ theme song playing]
-♪ Kiff! ♪

-♪ Kiff! ♪
-♪ Kiff! ♪

♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪

♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪

-♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪
-[school bell ringing]

-♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪
-[engine revving]

♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪

-♪ Yeah! Kiff! ♪
-[♪ song concludes]

[both laugh]

[narrator] Brought to you
by Charlie's Fake Beard Glue.

When the beard is fake,
but the performance is real,

reach for the Charlie's.

[♪ whimsical music playing]

[indistinct whispering]

[Miss Moufflé] Many years ago...

a ring light was manufactured...

[indistinct whispering]

Is that a real ancient language?

Did someone invent a whole
new language for this?

Wow, that's a lot of work.
[slurps] Anyway.

A ring light that hits so different,

-it had to be destroyed.
-[kisses]

But like many things, it was misplaced,

left in the bottom of a box,
which ended up in the back

of a storage closet
in Table Town School.

Forgotten until today.

Okay, everyone, the annual
Talent Show is tomorrow night.

Now, who's up next?
"Kiff Chatterley and friends."

[laughs]

[laughs] Come on, Barry. Come on, Trevor.

And your routine is called "Furry Foot"?

-Furry Feet. [chuckles]
-I don't get it.

Miss Deer Teacher?
There's a delivery outside.

Oh, BRB.

Hey, Kiff, should we livestream
our rehearsal?

Maybe put it up on TableToob?

Ah, we don't need to do that.
Let's just live in the moment.

You're late.

A principal is never late.

What is happening?

Oh, they're smiling now.

[both laugh]

It's just a funny bit they do.

So, are you hosting
the Talent Show normally this year,

or are you dressing up as...

I'm dressing up as the founder
of Table Town, of course.

There we go.

Oh, no, was that the real glue?

The cast and crew hoodies are here.

[clamoring]

The zippers are broken.

Are these a little big?

And they forgot to print
"Cast & Crew" on them.

♪ The talent show's only for students ♪

♪ Teachers aren't meant to be seen ♪

♪ But that's okay for Helen ♪

♪ 'Cause she can play eight to thirteen ♪

[gasps]

[grunts]

[gasps, yells]

-What's this?
-[indistinct whispering]

[gasps]

[grunts]

-[Helen murmuring]
-[groans] Hm?

The way Helen is coveting
that ring light is pretty weird,

even for Helen.

I must go to my office
and do some research. P.S., away.

Next up, "Little Boopsie"?

Here I am!

Helen, for the last time,
it's students only.

Wait. Where is it? Where is it? [groans]

[yells]

[sniffs]

Next up, Michaela Oats.

[♪ piano music playing]

Hey, what's this?

It looks like an electric donut.

[both chuckle]

Kiff, be careful, for that
is no ordinary ring light.

Look, a too powerful artifact
that should never fall

into the wrong influencer's hands.

What's a ring light?

You use it to light yourself when you...
you take a selfie.

And selfies are...

[indistinct whispering]

May I?

[snarls]

[gasps]

Okay, we get it.

For now, it is safe in your hands,
Kiff Chatterley.

Your indifference to social media

gives you a resilience to its power.

So, not a donut.

[laughs, yelps]

[indistinct whispering]

[all gasp]

-[indistinct whispering]
-[both gasp]

[phones chime]

-[♪ dramatic music playing]
-[all exclaim]

Sorry about that. Hey, P.S., that stuff

about this being evil,
you don't think turning it on

sent out some sort of signal or something?

No, no, that wouldn't
make any sense at all.

[coos]

But yes, yep,
that's precisely what's happened.

Kiff, I need you to go to the library
and wait for me

while I return this tome
to its protective case

in my office. [whistles]

You whistled.

You're the fastest one here.
Get them to the library.

Don't you leave her side,
Barrington Augustus.

Well, I wasn't going to...
Why are you using my full name?

[all clamor]

-[all yelling]
-[pigeon laughs]

[yells]

-[shouts angrily]
-[yelps]

[screams]

[growls lightly]

[whimpers]

-[all shriek]
-[yells]

Ah! Confound it! [grunts]

Oh, I can use this giant novelty pencil
as a walking stick.

[pants]

It is safe for now,
but should it fall into the hands

of an influencer who were
to livestream in its glow,

they would receive millions
of new followers,

enough to legally take over Table Town.

[male voice] It's true.

-Glarbin!
-Glarbin!

Miss Moufflé is right.

The founder of Table Town clearly stated,

"any master of influence
whose acolytes number

that of ten million shall be
the new town manager."

-Oh, no.
-[groans] Let's just hide it.

Bury it in another box.

Hiding it won't work.

The Ring Light has awakened
and is calling out to be used.

And before someone suggests it,
it can't be destroyed either.

It's indestructible.

Not even if it's thrown
in hot lava?

No, hot lava will destroy it.

So, not indestructible.

[stammers] You can't break it
with, like, a hammer,

but if you toss it in hot lava,
that will do the trick.

Also, wearing it on a string
around your neck is obviously

the only way you could possibly carry it.

Stop questioning me about this!

[Principal Secretary] Kiff, who seems
unaffected by the Ring Light's thrall,

and Barry, who is a friend of hers,

shall journey to the Big Hole
at the top of Mount Table,

which, according to my beard-stroking,

is the only place in Table Town
that has hot lava.

One does not simply walk
into the Big Hole!

What? No, that's not...
No one's gonna walk in.

They'll go to the edge
and then toss it in.

Never mind. One does simply do that.

-And we're going with them.
-Yeah!

[all laugh]

You have my permits.

And my selfie stick.

And my axe... cess to the internet.

And I promise not to betray anyone.

-[indistinct whispering]
-[slurps, groans]

And I'll chaperone.

[♪ triumphant music playing]

Across this bridge is passage
to the Wall of Goat,

which will lead us to the top
of Mount Table.

[groans] We're going to have
to listen to them sing

about what they do, even though
we already know what they do.

[Terri] Hey, guys.

Oh, hey, it's my sister.

Hey, little bro. Tell your friend
to give me her Ring Light.

I... I just need to do a quick post.

Uh, no.

Hey, guys, it's your girl, Terri2Bowls.

Sorry for this dark video.

Who here thinks I need
that Ring Light? [cackles]

Get Kiff to the other side
and I'll deal with Terri2Bowls.

You shall not...

Cross until you answer a riddle.

They have a bridge troll.

Technically,
Trollie isn't aligned with anyone.

He's true neutral, I believe.

Speak, friend, and cross.

[yells]

Scamper, you sillies.

-What did he say?
-I'm not sure.

Gallop, you goofballs.

He keeps whispering.

Hurry, you half-wits!

He's definitely using alliteration.

I think he wants us to leave quickly.

[yells]

No, hey! What gives? I... Oh.

Wow, you're holding me so gently, I...

-[whispers indistinctly]
-Mm-hmm. Who? Oh.

Uh-huh. Okay, bye.

[♪ suspenseful music playing]

The bug janitor said you needed a ride.

Thank you, Ghost Wolf.
We must find my friends.

[yelps gleefully]

[groans] Confound it!

You fool of a principal.
It was my last can of white paint.

Mm. Sorry.

[goats] ♪ Clippity-clop, clippity-clop! ♪

♪ Clippity-clippity clippity-clop! ♪

♪ Clippity-clop, clippity-clop!
Clippity-clippity clippity-clop! ♪

♪ We are Goat, the Wall of Goat ♪

-We know!
-We've been here before.

You know us.

-[Terri] Hey, guys...
-[all] Hey, guys. Hey, guys.

Hey, guys!

We gotta get to the top!

[laughs]

-[♪ triumphant music playing]
-Look!

Oh, his beard and his hat are so white!

His new look has serious drip!

Everybody, grab on!

[all scream]

[yells] That Ring Light will be mine!

[all chanting]
Hey, guys. Hey, guys. Hey, guys.

Thank you, Ghost Wolf.

Wait! Before you go, could you
fly us to the Big Hole...

Okay, he's gone. We'll walk.

Gee... [exhales]
...we're still pretty far away.

I can always carry you.

[chuckles] That's okay, pal.

That'd be, uh, bad for my brand.

[gasps] Bad for your brand?

I don't know why I said that.

This Ring Light, it feels
so heavy all of a sudden.

[indistinct whispering]

Probably weighs less than a pound.

I'm gonna go grab you a snack.

[indistinct whispering]

Hey, guys!

♪ I can see it all ♪

♪ I can see so clear ♪

♪ I found my purpose ♪

♪ The reason why I'm here ♪

♪ I could end all sorrow ♪

♪ I could lead and they would follow ♪

♪ I could show them the light
For me, they would fight ♪

♪ From coast to coast
they'll see my posts ♪

♪ I will inspire ♪

♪ Every day is a gift you unwrap ♪

-♪ Like! ♪
-♪ Feeling blessed, woke up like this ♪

-♪ Follow! ♪
-♪ Felt cute, might delete, I don't know ♪

-♪ Share! ♪
-♪ Threw together this meal real quick ♪

♪ Don't you see, I inspire thee ♪

♪ Not all those who wander are lost ♪

-♪ Like! ♪
-♪ Sponsored post, this glue's the GOAT ♪

♪ Follow me, yes, follow me ♪

♪ I can see it all ♪

♪ I can see so clear ♪

♪ I've found my purpose ♪

♪ The reason why I'm here ♪

♪ I could end all sorrow ♪

♪ I could lead and they would follow ♪

♪ I could show them the light
For me, they would fight ♪

♪ From coast to coast,
they'll see my posts ♪

♪ I will inspire ♪

Kiff, what are you doing?

I... I don't know.

Okay, everybody, we better keep moving.

Hey, P.S., there's someone following us.

Yes, that's Helen.

[grunting, muttering]

[Barry] Really? She's crawling
on all fours like a monster.

[gasps] She wants the Ring Light.

[Barry] Well, she's really good
at climbing.

Uh, how about this one?

-Oh, yeah, that's a nice one, Bar.
-[branch snaps]

Hi, Kiff.

-Hi, Harry.
-I was wondering if I could

borrow that Ring Light for a little bit.

No, Harry, it's evil.

I just want to use it to light
my DJ setup for... [stammers]

...a couple gigs, to get
a little exposure, you know?

Some more eyes on my DJ page,

then I'll... I'll give it back...

[snarls]

It's okay, Harry. It's not you.

It's the Ring Light. See you at dinner.

Do you think we'll make it, Bar?
I'm so tired.

Sure we will, Kiff.
It's just like in all them

great Chubbles Wubbington stories we love.

Thank you for being such a loyal pal.

[♪ tense music playing]

[breathes heavily, cackles]

[yells]

[gasps] Where is it?
Where is it? Helen, no!

[grunting]

[sobs] Take it! Just take my phone!

Delete all my apps! [wails]

You got it, Helen.

-Barry, no, wait. I feel bad for her.
-[Helen whimpers]

-You do?
-You do?

You don't know what she's been through.

Thirsting for likes,
clapping back at haters.

It changes a person.

I swear my loyalty to you, Kiff.

And I shall guide you to the Big Hole.

-Great.
-Wow, that sure was

a super quick change of heart
by Helen there.

And now, we're following her.

Oh, well, makes for a compelling story.

I'll give it that much.

Terri's follower count is in the millions.

[sighs] It won't be long now.

No. We can distract Terri,
and give Kiff and Barry time

-to get to the Big Hole!
-Yeah!

Who are you?

-We're ghosts.
-We're ghosts.

[Terri] Can you get out of my shot?
It's a little distracting.

Oh, it's working. Those ghosts
are totally distracting her.

How did you get these ghosts,
Glarbin?

-I promised them free...
-Freedom?

No, free sandwiches. They love them.

-Oh.
-Oh. They... They do. Ghosts do.

All right, let's get
a little assembly line going.

Who wants to be on mayonnaise duty?

[♪ dramatic music playing]

Hmm, is that enough?
Better safe than sorry.

-Hey! What are you up to?
-[screams]

[yawns, groans] I'm hungry.

[gasps] The Cakie Bonuts Donuts,
they're all gone.

She took them.

What? I don't even like donuts.

It's true. She doesn't.
She famously prefers crullers.

I can't trust you anymore.
I need you to go home, Barry.

[gasps]

-Hey, what was that?
-Huh?

You just smiled at Barry. And winked.

Oh, you... You saw that?

Helen. [scoffs] I can't believe you.

Barry, you're not going anywhere.

Helen, you are the one who's leaving.

[grunts] I hope you fall in a hole.

-Both of you! [whimpers]
-Get out of here, Helen!

[groans]

Kiff, you've been carrying
this burden for so long.

And now, it's my turn.

[grunts, pants]

Barry... [exhales] ...so strong...

[groans] Oh, yeah, no, I'm gonna
feel it in the morning.

But you're the strong one.
Resisting the Ring Light and all.

Woof, that's... that's a burn.

[lava bubbling]

[indistinct whispering]

What are you waiting for?
Throw it in, Kiff! Let it go!

I... I can't. I don't know why,
but I... I feel like I should...

start a social media account.

No!

I... I could use my platform to do good.

I do find it odd that you had
the Ring Light all this time,

and now, right when you're
about to toss it in,

you decide to keep it?

But I've seen it, Barry.
I will be liked by so many.

[Barry] But, Kiff, none of that is real.

I like you in real life. I love you!

It's mine! [yells, grunts]

Me! Helen! It's mine! [grunts]

Give it!

Give it back to me!

-It's mine! [grunts, screams]
-[grunts, yells]

Oh, my gosh.

Dang.

-Hooray!
-Hooray! Ow!

Couldn't have done it without you, Barry.

I love you, Kiff.

[both gasp] Helen!

What, you think that's the first hole
I've been thrown into?

I'm not a very well-liked
member of society.

[Barry groans] I wish we didn't have
to walk all the way home.

Like, I'm fine with the "there" of it all.

Just not so much with
the "back again," so to speak.

Hey, look.

-Aw, yay!
-Yay!

Hey!

I guess we can take off
these big slippers now.

Oh, yeah.

My friends, you bow to no one.

No one?

[Kiff] Oh, now, they're all bowing.

Should we bow back?

He specifically said we bow to no one.

-Maybe they'll make this a hobbit.
-A what?

Oh, sorry. [clears throat] A... A habit.

Maybe they'll make this a habit.
[chuckles]

[Renee] What's a hobbit?

[Barry] I have no idea!

[♪ soothing music playing]

[♪ music concludes]