01x03 - Brunch DJ/Career Day

[bunniefuu]

ANNOUNCER: Brought to you by Dolphin Cars.

Water you waiting for?

- (clock beeps)
- It's time.

Oh, morning already?

Yeah, and now we get to be first in line,

ahead of all of these...

people?

Nobody's here?

(chuckles) Well, we're gonna have
first pick of the job fair.

REGGIE: The best summer jobs fill up fast.

Oh, no.

Career day is now op--

(all yelling)

Nobody get in my way!

Let's go!

Nail polish namer.

Indie wrestling journalist.

Professional mannequin.

Come on, Barry!

(snores, gasps)

I'm not too late, am I?

Are there still slots open
for the city hall summer job?

No one's signed up yet?

Hey, Reggie, you in?

Yo, uh, Renée. You, me, city hall.

What do you say?

Oh, nope. I got, uh...

an appointment.

KIFF: Barry!

Can no one see the awesome potential
of civic employment?

As an official Table Town employee,

you can help so many fellow Tabletonians.

What's more fun than that, I ask you?

Doing it with your best bud, that's what!

Who needs dreams, right?

That's the spirit.

City hall, here we come.

Now, where do I put this? Is there...

Is there a place to put things
you don't need anymore?

What would that be called colloquially?

GLARBIN: Prepare yourselves, children,

for a world of wonder and merriment.

Welcome to...

city hall.

Wow. This is just, uh... Wow.

Yeah, I know. You'd think the magic
would eventually wear off,

but it never does.

And if you need my help,
my door is always open.

We're a family here at city ha--

Hey, what are you doing here?

We just came back for our stuff.

A likely story.

I bet you're both here
to beg for your old jobs back.

- Are you?
- No.

Well, I don't care.

I've found a new work family

to replace my old one.

Good luck. You're gonna need it.

(chuckles nervously)

- What was that all about?
- They quit.

They said I wasn't fun.

It didn't hurt my feelings at all.

No more questions!

(truck horn blares)

Ha! I'm loving this!

(sighs)

Okay, not exactly how I pictured things,

but still promising.

Just wait until the townspeople
start flowing in,

needing us to be heroes.

I need help.

Oh, yes. There it is.

How can we help you, sir?

A traffic light has been out
for nine years.

There are people stalled at this light

who haven't seen their families
for almost a decade.

Yes! I mean, uh,
I will help you with that, sir.

One new bulb, coming up.

GLARBIN: Oh, Kiff.

Oh, sweet Kiff.

You can't just snatch a bulb.

You have to fill out Form 43a.

Oh. Of course. Sorry.

GLARBIN: Oh, silly-billy Kiff.

Would that the rest of us
were so innocent.

Form 43a triggers 9G7.

How many forms does it take
to change a light bulb?

(laughs)

Humorous.

But in all seriousness, 30 more.

And done.

Finally. Now we can--

One more thing.

You have to use black ink only.

Sorry, I don't make the rules.

(laughs)

Oh, wait. I do.

So we have to start all over?

(whirring)

Ah, finished all the paperwork?

Good job.

You can have all the light bulbs you want.

- Um...
- Okay.

- (angry shouting)
- (car horns honking)

(cheering)

We really helped those people,
shredder. I mean, Barry.

That's okay, shredder. I mean, Kiff.

(dolphins barking)

- Hello. We're in love.
- That's great.

And we want to get married.

Even better.

Okay, so there's 36 forms to fill out,

and processing will take...

eight years?

Eight years?

There's no way our love
can last that long.

(both sobbing)

I now pronounce you two
dolphin and dolphin.

You may now kiss the dolphin.

(dolphins barking)

(upbeat music playing)

(all cheer)

(buzzing)

- Yeah! Woo-hoo!
- Shh!

(whispering) Yeah, woo-hoo.

(crowd cheering)

Is there any better feeling than this?

(laughs) When you're right, you're right.

I have a bone to pick with you two.

You never told me
you were so fantastic at paperwork.

(cackles)

(both laugh)

You two are just the best.

Worth more than my last crew.

Bunch of ingrates who I don't miss at all.

Whoa, time flies.

Okay, we'll archive everything
first thing tomorrow morning.

Archive?

Oh, Kiff. Follow me.

This here is the archive.

Beautiful, isn't it?

Tomorrow, I'll show you how to file

every form you've filled out.

Good night.

What are we gonna do?

If we get caught, we won't be able
to help Tabletonians ever again.

Wait, I have a plan.

Oh, thank goodness.

Oh, will it work, though?

There's no time to think.

(upbeat music playing)

(exhales)

Darn, that hits the spot.

- Now what?
- Huh?

Well, what's the rest of your plan?

Oh, this was it. To shred everything.

This is way worse!

Why did we think this was gonna help?

Oh, jeez. I think
I'm addicted to shredding.

This is a cry for help!

Okay, don't panic.

I have another idea. A good idea.

Does it involve shredding?

No, Barry!

This will fix everything.

Now listen.

(shredder humming)

Already open?

What happened here?

BOTH: We were robbed!

They took all the paperwork
we did yesterday!

That definitely existed!

Oh, that's my cue.

Why?

(gasps) Who jacked our paperwork?

Good thing we have security cameras.

Hmm.

Well... I'm glad nobody got hurt.

(sighs)

Whoo, that was an ordeal.

Let's each have a piece
of flavorless gum for comfort.

No? You're missing out.

Hey, did you guys know
there's a shredder down here?

It can't handle too much,

but feel free to use it for little trash.

Like so.

What?

Too bad the burglars didn't steal
the shredder too, am I right?

(laughs nervously)

(sniffs)

(screams)

I'd know this form anywhere!

A17-34B!

(sobs)

What's happened to you?

There wasn't any big-nosed burglar.

It was you two.

You shredded all the paperwork.

You're fired!

Oh, and look.

The townspeople are so miffed,
they formed an angry mob.

What? (laughs)

We're not an angry mob.

We're here to give our thanks.

Your... thanks?

If it wasn't for these two,
I'd still be trapped.

Thank you for bringing Daddy home

from the broken traffic light.

And I'd still be swimming
in a waterless pool.

And if it wasn't for Kiff and Barry,

we never could have gotten married.

I mean, our marriage only lasted a day,

but we're still grateful
to Kiff and Barry.

KIFF: You see, Mr. Glarbin,

this is what city hall is really about.

It's not about filling out
this form or that form.

It's about helping fellow Tabletonians.

It's about spreading cheer

and spending time
with the people you love most,

your work family.

My former employees.

What are you doing here?

We want to un-quit.

But you said you hated it here.

We did, but this is all we really wanted.

A little fun once in a while.

I mean, a confetti party?

Well, in light
of these heartwarming events,

I vow you can use any color pen you want.

Ooh! I'm gonna use blue.

Whoa, let's not get too wild.

It's a Career Day miracle.

Job bless us, everyone.

(all cheer)

I wish I could un-fire you two,

but now that the old staff is back,
there's no room.

I actually never wanted
to work here in the first place, so...

Do you two have backup jobs
for the rest of the summer?

I believe we do.