02x11 - Breaking the Bank

[bunniefuu]

Hold all my-- Whoa!

[laughing]

♪ Boss Baby ♪

♪ I'm the boss
Dial in to the meeting ♪

♪ Everybody here
Please, find your seating ♪

♪ While you're teething
I'm sinking my teeth in ♪

♪ First one to show
So I can do all my greeting ♪

♪ Profits, payrolls, and pacifiers ♪

♪ I make friends
I love you, you're hired ♪

♪ So come on and raise
Your juice boxes skyward ♪

♪ Boss babies until we retire ♪

-♪ Boss Baby ♪
-♪ Tell them who this is ♪

-♪ Boss Baby ♪
-♪ I'm a legend, mythic ♪

-♪ Boss Baby ♪
-♪ Can a baby get a witness? ♪

♪ Grab a high chair
This the family business ♪

♪ Boss Baby ♪

[Boss Baby] This is it!

He might never be this vulnerable again.

This is the moment!

And to meet the moment,
we need more money.

So, you're not here to play
Fleet Admiral Squidzee's Bubble Bash?

-No.
-We can do both.

You have money in your account.
I could run a kitten to the vault.

Bring up what you got
in your piggy deposit box.

[blows loudly] Appreciate that.
But our savings aren't enough.

Not for an operation this size.

Not if we wanna finally take down--

[train whistle blows]

-[girl] Can I just deposit this check?
-[boy] No, I don't need...

[Benny] Crispin Biscuits?

Terrible idea!

On our own? Sure.
That's why we need the loan.

I spent all his money at Floaties.

-We know he's broke.
-Now's our chance

to shut him down. But we gotta go big.

Baby stealth helicopters!

Blocks that teach you the alphabet
then explode!

And we have to find him.

With funding, Simmons can build a radar
to locate a British accent

-within a six-block radius!
-[Benny] Stop.

You think you can take down
the shadiest baby in the biz

when you can't beat me
in a pre-game pop-off?

-I go first!
-We know we can beat him!

But we can't give Biscuits time
to get more dough.

Hello. I'm here to steal things.

Shouldn't you ring security?

[meows]

[meowing and growling]

Crisp--

[cats hissing]

-Crisp--
-Say it...

Crispin Biscuits!

I am.

-Crispin Biscuits?!
-[baby] Get me out of here!

[growling and hissing]

I'd like to thank you all for coming
in one convenient group.

Now to the business of this playdate.

[Benny] Keelhauled to the bubble brig!

-That's a lot of money to settle a grudge.
-[Boss Baby] It's good for business.

Biscuits keeps sabotaging our company.
Imagine what we can do

with that crumpet off our backs!

Our Baby Love numbers will skyrocket!

We'd pay you back times infinity!

Things would be great!

I could retire altogether!

[chuckles] Weird measure of success, but--

What? No, I didn't say
I was for sure gonna.

Wait, you actually want to retire?

Cancel my midday orange slice,
because this just got juicy.

[alarm wailing]

Is that because I said things
I was only supposed to think?

-No, that's from the lobby. Why is it--?
-[train whistle blows]

Benny.

I'd like to play with your eyeballs.

Ew.

Tuck in your arms and legs!

This bank is not liable
if you lose a limb!

-What was that about my limbs?
-[all yell]

Hey, all your parts made it!

Good for you! Always a toss-up.

We found him! Half the job done!

-The chance we needed!
-JJ!

Get a submarine and meet us outside.

We got the loan?! Yes!

Yeah-- No. You'll have to get that sub
for little to no money.

-We believe in you!
-Not a problem,

bosses.

Uh, why is Benny blindfolding himself?

The heck you doing?

Biscuits can't open the vault

without a security scan
of my peepers, so...

bye-bye to my eye, guys.

[all shouting]

[Boss Baby] This is insane!

[Benny] I took an oath!
Every bank employee does.

Protect the money!

And bless you,
but I meant you shouldn't drive!

[Benny grunting]

I get carsick if I'm not driving.

-No reason to put us all in--
-Juicily carsick.

-Ugh.
-Oh.

I'm sorry, I know you wanna
go after Crispin Biscuits,

but for the safety of every dollar
in that vault,

I gotta get as far away from the bank
as possible!

How long you think it's gonna take
to get a submarine?

I'm more worried one won't be enough.

Biscuits has the advantage.
We need overwhelming firepower!

With no loan to get it.

[groans] The money's all right there!

Everybody's money...

[phone buzzes]

[Tina] Luxes!

I don't like you, you don't like us.
That's okay.

There's someone we both dislike more,
a gross reason to team up,

but gross things can be good.

Butternut squash, non-gummy vitamins,

-thermometers that go--
-We need help.

Wow, you have the worst timing.
We're having lunch with our CEO.

[doll] We scan the rooftops
looking for evil.

All we see is a city ready to explode.

Oh, you fixed his voice. Sort of.

Yes, our toy surgeons were able
to perform a voice box transplant.

The donor was a Danny Vigilante
action figure that got left outside.

Went through the neighbor's lawnmower.
Very sad.

[doll] The human body has 206 bones.

Every one of them breakable.

But we already put the report
on your desk, sir!

Hold on. He's so fussy now.

No, don't put us on hold!

[jingle playing over speakers]

[grumbles]

Ow! I will pull this pod over!

Sorry, Benny. I know how much
I hate unexpected surprises.

I was only thinking about retiring!

You went on vacation
to get that out of your system!

I went on vacation to figure stuff out,
and did that not work.

Honestly,

I could use someone to talk to.

[sighs]

Of course, I want you to be happy.

-Aw, thank you.
-But...

Don't tell me you want me to be happy
then give me a "but"!

Oh! Hello. We came back at a weird time.

Later. We got a cross-company emergency!

You need to pack whatever
underwater arsenal Baby Corp's got

and get down here!

-Crispin Biscuits broke into the bank!
-Yeah, okay.

Alert us when it concerns Baby Corp.

All of it. The bank's being robbed!

You've got more money there than we do!

Have you been terrorized
by Crispin Biscuits this long

-without understanding him?
-He's not a common thief.

He's a force of nature.

You hire him to do something,
he never stops,

never naps, never takes a time-out
until the job is done.

And what job
was Crispin Biscuits hired to do?

Ruin the lives of Boss Baby
and Tina Templeton!

I'm uncomfortable with silence.

[mimicking vehicle sounds]

He's only going
after our piggy deposit box!

Which is not Baby Corp's problem.

But Pull-String CEO Baby
sends his condolences

on your upcoming bankruptcy.

[doll] My favorite food
is the taste of your fear.

[grunts]

He's only going
after our piggy deposit box.

So, what if there is no
"our piggy deposit box" left to take,

because we beat him to it?

[mimics buzzer] I told you, can't get
in the vault without my eyeball scan.

Exactly!

So if your eyeballs got us in,
Crispin couldn't-- [yells]

No. No. No, no, no.

Have I made myself clear? No!
I protect the money,

which is why I piloted this escape pod
halfway across the ocean--

[thudding]

What was that?

Sounds like it's from inside the bank.

Kind of loud for being half an ocean away.

-Uh... Hm...
-Oh...

Hey, that looks like my bank.

Oh, come on!

[Tina] What is that thing?!

JJ? Gonna need that sub ASAP.

Minutes away, boss.

How do we get it past the guard?

Distraction.

Ugh! Sir, I have reason to believe
this machine is rigged!

It's a claw game.

You wear the uniform of justice.

You're just gonna watch this
burglarize my buck-50?!

[sighs] I'll take a look.

Dez, with me on sub retrieval.

Pip, find someplace to pay for it.

h*, h*. You can buy submarines
for this much?

Why are we wasting money
on food and shelter?

We're just renting.

And get a receipt for tax purposes!

I don't see anything wrong.

How can you if you don't watch me play?

It's sloppy investigative work

that lets arcade fraud
run wild in this country!

[sighs] Go ahead.

Excuse me, Swiss villagers
transformed into wood

for stealing a witch's gold.

Can you direct me
to the submarine rental counter?

Thanks! And may that kindly deed

be enough to reverse
your magical petrification.

Nope?!

Wow, you must've really ticked
that witch off. Good luck!

I assume the weak grip strength
is by design--

I don't know what you're
complaining about, you got a bear.

Oh, my gosh! I got one!

Then, uh, you're good?

Oh, we'll find out how good I am.

No mistakes now, Tabitha.

[yells] No, no, no.

This is for submarine payment only.

I don't want your magical coins
with a hidden catch! [whimpers]

Steady, bear.

This claw is your chariot.
We ride to Valhalla!

So, uh, I can just turn around
and go about my security business--?

Hey!

What are you babies doing there?
Where are your parents? Ow!

I renounce your accursed treasure,
mini-golf witch!

Hey, stop! Young sir!

You are using arcade property
inappropriately!

Was it worth it?

Wanna answer, Mr. Bear?
"You bet it was, slick."

How's it going, Dez?

Submarine is sealed up

with the strongest waterproof glue,
and Dez is famished.

I'll grab a bite, then it's mission time.

[JJ] So the sub is ready,

and we all elected Dez to be the captain!

Tell him to focus
on slowing down Crispin's ram.

He'll know it when he sees it.

-Is there another entrance to the vault?
-Sure.

Most designers include alternate doors
to make the metal one

entirely useless.

No, there's not another entrance!

We have to get our money out!

Crispin Biscuits is standing inches away--

Uh, no, he's not.

Where'd he go?

How come his looks cooler
and more dangerous?

He's got a security pod!

Don't let him near my green beauties!

Whoa! Whoa!

[all] Whoa!

Benny, would you please
let us take the stick!

I got this.

Wearing this has heightened
my other senses.

I taste a coral reef ahead!

-[Tina] Whoa!
-How did he get in a security pod?!

-I thought you were watching him!
-I got distracted!

There's a lot on my mind-- Squid torpedo!

[Tina] Steer left!

Hard right!

-We're driving blind!
-Yeah, where have you been?

[Boss Baby] Eyes peeled for Biscuits.

-Found him.
-Back! Back! Back!

[Boss Baby] He's got
another torpedo loaded!

Backwards for some reason.

[Benny] It's a harpooner!
Trying to reel me in!

Up! Up! Up!

JJ! Send Dez. We need backup!

Uh, you sure?

He's really close to disabling
that jackhammer machine.

-[Tabitha] You can do this, Dez!
-[Dez] Call me Renaldo, ma'am.

You're inside a submarine by yourself.

Why the disguise?

Because Dez is far too hungry
to aim a laser pointer.

[meowing]

Just a few kitty-thwacks away, sir!

I love that sentence,
but we've got bigger problems!

Carry on, JJ, we got this.
Benny, steer left.

-We can lose him in the rocks!
-Dodge rocks with a blindfolded pilot?!

-Trust me!
-Why?

You admitted you're distracted.

You're bailing from the company,
and it's impaired your judgment!

My blindfold-heightened sensitivity

is picking up on crazy tension
in this pod right now.

Benny, swerve right!

I am not bailing. I'm weighing my options.

"I'm not bailing.
I'm weighing 'my options.'"

All sounds pretty selfish.

Selfish?!

You know, working with kittens,

I take conflict resolution training.

First thing, we retract our claws

-and sit on our tails.
-Benny, left!

I'm still here. We all wearing blindfolds?

Turn left!

You retired once already.

You're double selfish with some hypocrite
for calling me selfish!

I never said you were selfish.
I said your decision is.

-I haven't decided yet!
-This is good.

Sometimes, we need to let out snarls
to get to the purrs.

-Right, Benny!
-Thank you. I can't take credit.

It's from Doctor Mittenshake's
Alley Cat to Ally Cat:

-Conflict Resolution for a New Me--
-[thud]

[Benny] My heightened sensitivity
tells me we've been harpooned.

-You got any weapons?
-No.

But it's me he wants.

No! Your peepers!

It's okay. I'll buy as much time as I can.

For what? You're the key.
Once he has you, it's over!

Not if you find another way in
and snatch your money.

I asked you that question.

-You said there was no other way in!
-Shh!

Then I guess
you'll have to prove me wrong.

I surrender!

-[Tina] No!
-Benny!

[Tabitha] One more kitten should do it!
Glad we've got you in that sub.

And I'm glad that I, Renaldo,
am not starving,

and "sub" doesn't make me think
of tasty oblong meat sandwiches.

[cheering]

Sub to mission control,
vault door has been secured.

Renaldo, out.

And Dez's belly
is about to cave in on itself.

Prep me a feast of mashed everything!
Hold up.

Excuse me. Beg pardon.

-Excuse me.
-Now my favorite game...

Peek-a-boo!

I forfeit.

Oh. What is that on the ground?

A penny? What a delight!

Is it... shiny?

Well, I'm hardly one to judge.

You're the expert.

[groaning]

Maybe just a peek. [gasps]

And there's not even a penny!

You're just as evil as they said!

[Crispin] You let the kittens
design the vault?

[Benny] They had great ideas.

Renaldo, back in.
What happened to the bosses?

[Tina] Looking for another way in.
Hold your position.

We'll call when we have something.

[clears throat]

Think we get radio down here?

[cats meowing over speakers]

-Ugh. Cat politics.
-No, thank you.

-I don't like how--
-About what I said--

-You first.
-Oh, I was just gonna...

Never mind.

[Tina] If the lobby's in the head,

the vault must be around
its big old piggy-butt.

See anything?

Just the backside of your average
underwater baby bank.

Plus, the anchor of course.

[gasps]

Too small for the pod, but maybe,

if we suck in our tummies
and take our chances...?

[laughs] The other way in
was there the whole time!

And Biscuits doesn't even know!

[anchor rumbling]

Let's assume he does.

-Together?
-For one last time.

For the love of animal crackers,
I was only considering it!

Let's just go!

[alarm sounds]

What is this place?

[Boss Baby] Either a cat's dream
or my nightmare.

Show some respect.

This is classic of
scratching-post-modern architecture.

So you did find the anchor chain.

I thought you might.
So I found something too...

Mayonnaise City's execu-piggy deposit box!

All your company's money
right here in this piggy-wig.

-[coins jangling]
-Oh! That's a very sad noise.

Sounds like my play-friends' stock
is dropping.

Ha! Joke's on you.

We're not a publicly traded company,
so there is no stock to drop.

-What?
-Nothing.

I'm asking you to be supportive
of my decisions,

so I will stand by
your questionable comebacks.

It was great!

Turned his taunt back on itself

while exposing his ignorance
of how a private business--

Protect the money!

-[Boss baby] No!
-Grab it!

Sorry, stummy, I know you're hungry.

Whoa!

Renaldo to base,
the bank is unanchored and floating!

Our money's everywhere!

-How do know if we miss some?
-Believe me, I'll know.

[Tina] Hey!

Thanks ever so--

Nobody drives but Benny!

[meows]

[Boss Baby & Crispin grunting]

Here at the First and Only Baby Bank,

nothing matters more
than the security of your savings.

[meowing mimicking siren]

Yes! Get him!

Uh, remember that oath?

Bank employees protect the money.

And all they see is babies holding money.

[meowing and screeching]

I think I need to call my lawyer.

Mister Tigglesnooks, no!

I was returning it!

Whoa! Incoming!

-[alarm beeping]
-"Add more quarters to continue"?

So you get to eat and I don't?!

[panel beeps]

This isn't a game, Biscuits!

Then why am I having so much fun, silly?

No!

I think that's the last of it!

We need an extraction!

[Dez] On my way.

If we make it out,

somebody owes me $1.75.

Just hurry! We gotta bail!

Wow. That's your solution to everything.

You really wanna discuss this right now?

Yes, please keep fighting.

The friction between you is mesmerizing!

I guess playing company savings account
keep-away from a toddler psychopath

and kitten security
inside a giant piggy bank on spin cycle

is highlighting the mess
I'll have to handle on my own

after you run!

You know what I think?!

You're arguing to cover for the fact

that you can't wait
to be the only one in charge!

Go on! Say more things
you'll never be able to take back.

Maybe you shouldn't wait
to throw that piggy back to Benny!

-[Crispin] What?!
-He's open! Go!

Whoo-hoo!

Yeah!

No!

[growling]

Do we look like we're holding cash?

[growling and meowing]

So...

how much of that stuff
was to distract Crispin,

and how much was, you know?

Honestly, I'm not sure.

More than anyone,

I understand why you're thinking
of retiring, but...

Now we got a hanging "but"?

Come on, you've been through this.

-I wanna know what you think.
-I think...

as hard as it is to admit,

there are flaws in my personality.
But working with you,

I see those turning around,

I see me growing as a boss--

Co-boss.

And I don't want you to retire

because the truth is, you make me better.

No! You can't put that on me!

What? I just bared my soul!

-I thought it was a compliment!
-How?

You just tried to make it my job
to fix your shortcomings!

Wow, really?

I do have flaws to work on.

I'm glad to be appreciated,
but anything you admire in me,

you gotta do the work
to find it in yourself,

-whether I leave or not.
-[Crispin] Was leaving an option?

I'll take it.

-No!
-Don't let him get away!

[alarm sounds]

On your behalf.

[Boss Baby & Tina yelling]

[Tina] He robbed the bank.

I thought this was about ruining us!

It is!

He controls the entire Baby Love market.

He can do anything he wants
to our company.

-Now you gotta stick around.
-I know!

-♪ Boss Baby ♪
-♪ Baby ♪

-♪ Boss Baby ♪
-♪ Baby ♪

-♪ Boss Baby ♪
-♪ Baby ♪

-♪ Boss Baby ♪
-♪ Tell 'em who this is ♪

-♪ Boss Baby ♪
-♪ I'm a legend mythic ♪

♪ Y'all heard the story
But you know what the twist is? ♪

♪ Welcome to the family business
Boss Baby ♪