02x07 - The Heat Is On

[bunniefuu]

-Hold all my-- Whoa!
-[laughing]

♪ Boss Baby! ♪

♪ I'm the boss
Dial in to the meeting ♪

♪ Everybody here?
Please find your seating ♪

♪ While you teething
I'm sinking my teeth in ♪

♪ First one to show
So I can do all my greeting ♪

♪ Profits, payrolls, and pacifiers ♪

♪ I make friends!
I love you, you're hired! ♪

♪ So come on
And raise your juice boxes skyward! ♪

♪ Boss babies until we retire! ♪

-♪ Boss baby ♪
-♪ Tell 'em who this is ♪

-♪ Boss baby ♪
-♪ I'm a legend, mythic ♪

-♪ Boss baby ♪
-♪ Can a baby get a witness? ♪

♪ Grab a high chair ♪

♪ This the family business
Boss baby ♪

It is hot.

I'm Marsha Krinkle with this week's
Channel 8 weather report.

Meteorologist
Wayne "the Weathervane" McClain

took the week off. Coward.

Temperatures will be in triple digits
all week. Everyone's going insane.

The sun's fury is pounding down
like a mallet made of molten steel.

Run.
Shield yourselves from the searing rays.

I'm Marsha Krinkle.
And my shoes are melting to the pavement.

Help. The sun's coming for me. This is--

My jelly filling is starting to sizzle.

-It's Pip weather.
-Don't let the cool air out.

The last thing you wanna see
is me getting overheated.

Well, now that's the only thing
I wanna see.

It's a blast furnace
for Baby Love out there.

Babies are cranky.
Parents are hot and stressed.

And we have so many new clients-- Yay!
--that we can't cool them one by one. Boo.

What we need is one cool-down zone
for all our toasted crankies.

And I know just the place.

Clownee Carl's Crazee Castle.
Can't believe none of you thought of this.

What's Clownee Carl's Crazee Castle?

[gasps]
Tim never took you to Clownee Carl's?

Where every day
is Funday the Funteenth of Funuary?

It's a kid and baby wonderland. I'll admit
I was skeptical on my first visit,

but Tim's pure joy opened my eyes
to the wonder of it all.

The competitive thrill of mini golf.

The impish pleasure
of destroying your parents on bumper cars.

But most of all,

I can still feel the cool splish
of that glorious splash pad. Oh!

A whole little pool just for babies.

Mini golf and bumper cars?

And Dad never took us? Next Father's Day,
I'm giving that man a 50-pound necktie.

No, Daddy
would never deprive us of fun on purpose.

Maybe Clownee Carl's
got all cruddy and sad like a real clown.

Hmm. A dark, but not impossible scenario.

I should scout it
before we send any of our clients there.

Come on, you flesh-and-bones thunderbolt,
we have business.

Stay cool, everyone.
Back in a hot jiffy. Hyah!

[neighing]

[gasps] Blackout. The electric peekaboo.

No, no, no.

If the power is out, that means no a.c.

Inside temp already up 5 degrees.

[groaning]

I'm overheating.

You need to get everyone out of here
before Hot Pink shows up.

Who's Hot Pink?

I said too much.

-And yet I must know more.
-Fine.

Hot Pink is the thing I turn into
when I get too hot. Now, go.

You turn into a thing?
I would watch ten movies about this.

Everyone, relax. Power outages are common
when too many people are blasting a.c.

-Call Mom.
-Yes. Mommy can fix anything so fast.

I had an owie and she kissed it,

and let me tell you, wow.

And she's our landlord,
so she has a contractual obligation.

[dramatic music playing]

They turned Clownee Carl's
into a country club?

My favorite childhood place

has become my favorite
kind of adulthood place?

[gasps] There she is.
As splish-splashy as the day we met.

Feel that cool breeze blowing off her,
girl? Like a glacier breaking wind.

-[Junior] Hey. A baby.
-Get out of our country club.

[Tip] No babies allowed.

Looks like
we're gonna have to change that. Hyah!

[neighing]

Great day to learn the family business.

It's 110 degrees.
Let's just call a professional.

And hand our profits over
to a con artist in overalls? No.

A landlord's most important tool.

I know these keys
like I know my daughters.

Huh.

[grunting]

I'm Tabitha, by the way.

Twenty degrees hotter.

Bad news, guys.

I soaked it in cold water.

Don't try it.
It's warm and feels like possum guts.

Banker Baby Benny just called.
He's on his way.

He wasn't supposed to come
until next month.

He's coming to check on his investment,
so deal with it!

Sorry. It's the heat. But it's also
because he's bringing Yarnball!

-[gasps]
-Mister Yarnball, CPA?

The most ruthless accountant
in the Baby Love economy.

If Yarnball doesn't think
we're a good use of the bank's money,

-Benny will pull the plug on our funding.
-I'll pull the plug on your funding.

What was that for?

-What are you for?
-I'm for yelling at you!

-I'll give you a sandpaper haircut!
-Stop breathing hot breath on my neck.

How about on your face?

Everybody, get away. I'm too hot.

-Whoa. Hey. Calm down.
-We need to get ready for Benny

-and Yarnball.
-Thank you, Dez.

Someone in this office can keep cool.

I spent my baby life
in hot, swampy disguises.

-This heat is like a second mother to me.
-He's not the only one keeping his cool,

coworkacitas.

[humming]

That one has a misting fan!

Stop it.

I can share!

-One at a time!
-Here we go. Here we go.

[shouting]

Why?

Hot Pink must stay hot.

No more JJ!

JJ weak.

-Hot Pink strong!
-It's more awesome than I dreamed.

Smash the mister, I smash you!

No shoving.

-I'm too hot for rationality.
-HR violation.

-HR violation.
-The hotter it gets, the louder I scream!

-I serve no master but Hot Pink.
-[howling]

Air conditioning, we haven't spoken
since I dropped a penny in you,

but we could really use some help now.
Let Mommy fix you.

[Carol grunts] Ha!

Okay. See? Breaker's tripped. Easy fix.

We just reset it like so.

[Pip] Oh, yes.

Thank you.

And keep the change.

-Why isn't it blowing?
-Super landlady Carol saves the-- Crud.

-Can we call a repair tech?
-Never. To the HVAC unit.

All right!
More time to get to know Hot Pink.

-Let's keep you cooking.
-Pip, no.

[indistinct chatter]

[howling]

[gasps] Give me back my penny, you crook.

It's still Clownee Carl's on the inside?
I assumed they'd snubbed it up

when they made it a country club,
but this is great.

-What's with the mustache?
-Biff Biederman, tiny adult.

I need to become a member
and change the "no babies" rule.

-Do I get a fake mustache too?
-I only had one.

But the Bohemian add-on
that came with it is yours.

Rad, man. What's my incognito name?

Doesn't matter.
You're just here to get rejected.

As a professional writer, I've never felt
more qualified. What's the deal?

One thing rich people clubs love
is turning down members.

So if I want in, I need another applicant,
someone so lowbrow déclassé,

-they're guaranteed to get booted out.
-Welcome, Junior Fancy Jr.

Love the mustache. Iffy on the goatee.
You must be the ones who inquired.

Your presumption is apt. Biff Biederman.

-And this is Mr.--
-Dr. Francisco DellaGoulash.

At C.C. Country Club,
we believe every hardworking job creator

and wealth inheritor deserves a place
to escape the pressures of affluence

-and relive the fun of childhood.
-They don't look like they're having fun.

I apologize for my acquaintance.
You know how goatee people are.

What else does this establishment offer?

Bumper cars. Great
for beating the stress of negotiations.

Short sell the sheer shells,
shear off the short shells.

-I could not have been clearer.
-Got corn dogs or...?

I don't even know what that is.
And finally, our reflection pool.

Can I swim in this now?
I literally have trunks in my trunk.

I call them my "trunk trunks." Huh?

[chuckles] Funny stuff.
This pool is merely decorative.

Designed for babies,
but, of course, babies are not welcome.

Quite right.
We'd like to proceed with our application.

Why is this happening?

-Hey.
-It's the membership process.

Thank you, sir. If there's a second thing

rich people clubs love,
it's making you feel

-like doo-doo in a shoe.
-Why?

-So you really wanna join.
-That makes no sense whatsoever.

Thank you. Wonderful putt, ma'am.

-Can we go?
-Do not remove your clown wear.

It stays on
until you officially become a member.

Or we cut you.

From consideration, silly.

Look at your face.
One hour of obstacle duty, then go home

and study the club's rules.
There will be a test.

Thank you. How kind.

Very good.

-Tabitha, pay attention.
-Kids my age can pay attention

to two things at once
if one is a phone. It's evolution.

-Oh, it's a newer model.
-Variable refrigerant flow system.

Multiple evaporators are connected
to a condenser via the solenoid box.

Evolution.

No one leaves.

Warm bodies keep Hot Pink hot.

Pip, JJ.

No JJ!

Only Hot Pink.

Fine. Hot Pink.
We have to make this place professional.

-Benny is on--
-Storm the ramparts.

We must find cool air.

-[all shouting]
-Oh!

It's hot. Oh, wow, forts.

-A way out!
-[Tina] Chip, no.

Air conditioning!

I know.

That was seriously rude.

[Tina] Hey.

Benny, Mr. Yarnball. Welcome
to our humble but professional office.

[Boss Baby] So hot. Mm.

Oh, Timmy needs ice cream.

-[horns blowing]
-[shouts]

[doll] You're not worthy.

They want us to quit.
Don't take their bait.

Don't worry, I'll--

[doll laughs] You're not worthy.

-What the heck?
-It's in the rules. Look it up.

"Pranks will continue
until the rules test is passed."

In my business mogul days,

I had country club memberships
across the entire nation.

-Why?
-In case I needed a restroom

in another city. You're missing the point.
The rule book is always the same.

You wanna know what's coming?
Knock yourself out.

-"Why no children are allowed at C.C.--?"
-[horns blowing]

"Vehicles with stickers
illustrating size of one's family

-will be towed--" Come on!
-[horns blowing]

So many rules.
And why are half of them about brunch?

[horns blowing]

[doll laughs] You're not worthy.

Ooh! Time for the rules test.
You look awful.

That's perfect. Come on!

[shouting]

What time does the cafe
stop serving Sunday brunch? Go.

Challenge me. One p.m.

Wrong. Two p.m.

[Boss Baby shouting]

It's always 1 p.m. Every country club
follows the same rule book.

Which had its update months ago.
Where have you been?

Avoiding trouble with the government.

Been there.
No excuse for not studying. Next question.

Time limit for parking an electric car
in the charging spaces. Go.

-A billion minutes.
-Wrong.

This is unpleasant.
Wait, I know this one. Thirty minutes!

-Correct.
-Tee time sign-in location?

Uh, in the clubhouse? [shouting]

Sign up is only available
on the C.C. Country Club mobile app.

Next question.

-Membership card is lost or stolen.
-Um, fill out a form and pay a fee.

-Card will arrive in two to four weeks.
-Dr. DellaGoulash,

you might have what it takes
to become a member.

What? Really? Me?

Easy one. Club hours. Go.

-Eight a.m. to midnight?
-Six to 10!

[Boss Baby]
Although that is more reasonable!

Though our company is small,
we are inclusive and service more clients

than Baby Corp's 5-percenter system.

-And our love per baby ratio is--
-[cat yowls]

For the love of pasghetti, no!

Hot Pink has hostages!

If anyone cools off the room,
we take the whole company down.

-At least Hot Pink has a plan.
-Benny, I'm so sorry about this.

Thank you.
I'm not the one you gotta impress.

[grumbles, then hisses]

How does my head have a stomachache?

And then I met a hippo.

Biederman, come over here.
Meet my new friends.

An enormous pleasure to--

[retching]

Looks like somebody
didn't memorize his rule book very well.

A word, Dr. DellaGoulash?
Might I remind you

that your role
is corn dog-loving rejection magnet.

I know. They started pranking me
and treating me like doo-doo on a shoe,

and it's weird how that works,
but I really wanna join now.

-Maybe we'll both get in.
-We now enter the Test of Wills.

Biederman and DellaGoulash will compete
to see which one is worthy of membership.

And only one.

It's gonna be me, Biederman.
Let's go, baby!

[imitating horn]

[lively music playing]

We have made our decision.

Sorry, bud.
Turns out I wanted it more than you.

C.C. Country Club welcomes
our newest member, Biff Biederman.

What?

I did everything I was supposed to.

I memorized the rules.

I suppose. But we simply enjoy
Biederman's company more.

Pfft. Whatever.

Who wants
to join your snooty snob shack anyway?

-You.
-[groans] I wish that wasn't true.

Hilarious.

-[device ringing]
-My chandelier guy.

-Olezka. How's it hanging?
-Where are we with the splash pad?

More complicated than expected,
but I'm on it. Everything okay?

Not ideal. Broken a.c.,

JJ turned into some heat beast
and is holding everyone hostage.

Oh, and we got a pop in
from Benny and Yarnball.

[Boss Baby shouts]

I can deal. For now.

Just hurry up and get
that splash pad open. Uh-oh.

I caught these two out back
trying to fix the a.c.

-You guys called me to fix the a.c.
-Hot Pink must stay hot!

[shouting]

JJ, no. Dez, buddy, where's my backup?

I don't know.
This heat's turned everything upside down.

Sorry. Just lost my sanity.

-[groans]
-[JJ] Yes.

More hot breath.

-Splash pad, now.
-[laughs]

Say, good members,
I have a rule change to suggest.

-As is your member's right. Proceed.
-Great. How about we allow babies?

[all laughing]

How comical? If you were really proposing

we change our most cherished rule,
we'd have to kick you out.

Pleased to be amusing.

Excuse me.

[panting] They won't change the baby rule.

Of course they won't. They're snobs.
I'm over changing that baby rule anyway.

But we have to.

No. I wanna tear the whole thing down.

Ooh! Bitter Tim revenge plot.

Share.

You have to swear to secrecy,
the knowledge I am about to disclose.

-Heart-crossy promise with pinky addendum.
-Okay.

You know why parents
are so strict about dumb rules?

Because you have no idea
how flimsy these systems are.

Change one thing,
and the ripples can take everything down.

I discovered it entirely by accident
when we were kids.

After you turned into a regular baby,
Mom and Dad's work schedule changed

so they had to move our 5:30 dinner
to 6 p.m.

I was all,
"What about the no-sweets-after-6:30 rule?

So no more dessert?
What about after-dinner TV?

We're either getting less
or bedtime will get later.

What about--?" You get the idea.
And with that, it all fell apart.

We were up at midnight
screaming at the top of our lungs,

shoveling candy into our mouths
with the TV on full blast.

Through sugar madness,
I heard Dad cry out:

"We did this! We changed one rule
and the system collapsed!

This house has no rules!"

It was one
of the greatest days of my life.

The day I learned
every rule book has its weak spot.

And this rule change will bring
that whole chateau de stuck-up down.

It'll work, trust me.

For the record, Templeton,
I'd let you join my country club any day.

Because you made it so easy,
I wouldn't want to.

No more children's putters
on the mini golf course.

Putters must be the grown-up size
of 35 inches.

Your vote
will put that rule into immediate effect

and send a clear signal:

Babies not allowed.

[all] Aye.

Looks like it's our tee time.

Apologies. That putter fails
to reach regulation size.

Come now, that rule is in its infancy
and these are the putters

-lent by the clubhouse.
-Pardon. One minute until tee time.

Can you make it snappy?
It's against rules to deviate

-from one's tee time.
-Biederman forbids us.

Their putters fall short
of regulation size, as does yours.

The rules are creating a paradox.
My head is spinning.

You'd better figure something out
or, hmm, who knows what could happen.

No!

Burn the rules down.

Feel the true pleasure
of childlike joy. Anarchy!

The pool is-- Ugh.

[Pip] When you feel hot,
Hot Pink feels strong.

-Hot Pink strong.
-The power surge likely blew the solenoid.

Disrupted fluidics?

Probably.

-Identify the--
-Uh, Tabitha?

I'm sorry.
The heat is messing with my head.

Psst. I did what I could.

Hot Pink is too powerful.

Yarnball is so mad at us.

But I opened the pool.
All we have to do is get our clients there

and Baby Love will go up so high,
Benny's bound to keep funding us.

Ain't doing nothing
until we take down Hot Pink.

Hot Pink.

I got two more.

Hot Pink accepts the offer
of your body heat for all of eternity.

You no longer animals with souls,
only Hot Pink's heat makers.

Ugh. Rest in peace,
Untitled Templeton Project,

a Grinnygums Smileforce affiliate.

If it had to end,
I'm glad it was someone else's fault.

Thanks for trying
to save a few bucks, Carol.

What?

Cold air?

No!

All right.

Air condishy is fix-a-doodle-do'ed.

Why are you all hot pink?

I am so sorry.

-[Jessie] That do it, Miss Tabitha?
-Yep, we good. Thanks, Jessie.

Okay. I've been in contact
with a repair tech this whole time.

Video chat, texting. Oh,
and our rental lease says you're paying.

I'm very angry with you,
but also extremely proud.

Sounds like you're suffering
from subjective ambivalence.

Are you chatting
with a repair tech or your therapist?

Both.

Evolution.

You guys did really good.

[meowing]

Mister Yarnball has advised me
to pull all funding--

Oh, look at these Baby Love numbers.

[meows]

I respect your opinion,
Mister Yarnball, CPA,

but I'm riding this choo-choo
wherever it leads.

Congratulations,
I'm doubling my investment

in my new favorite Baby Love company,
Mayonnaise City!

Wonderful.
But that's not the name of our business.

There's a sign out front.
It's what I've been putting on paperwork.

-We hadn't actually settled on a name.
-Well, all my money's going

to Mayonnaise City. Congratulations.
No takebacks, made you business cards.

[cries]

We're here to help.

We're from Mayonnaise City.

[groans]

He did stop crying.

[theme music playing]

♪ Boss baby ♪

♪ Boss baby ♪

♪ Boss baby ♪

♪ Boss baby
Tell 'em who this is ♪

♪ Boss baby
I'm a legend, mythic ♪

♪ Y'all heard the story
But you know what the twist is? ♪

♪ Welcome to the family business
Boss baby ♪