[strange music]
[electronic music]
Hey, congratulations on
filling out your start paperwork
and joining NEFARICORP.
Today, you'll begin
your training
as a replicant
technician.
You might be worried that
you're not educated enough,
but I assure you it's
not gonna be a problem.
Just look around the room,
and I bet you'll feel
a lot better.
Just about any job can
be filled with replicants
except replicant
technicians actually.
We tried it,
but having clones make
clones, it got weird.
So how do we do it?
Well, every replicant is
made from a slurry of DNA
we call the sauce.
[announcer] Do not
contaminate the sauce!
We pump sauce
into a replication pod,
which turns it into a fully
formed adult body in minutes.
How does it work?
It's not your job, so don't
worry about it, all right.
Your main responsibility is
to get the sauce into the pod.
[announcer]
The sauce is pure.
Do not contaminate the sauce.
Seriously, do not screw up
the sauce thing, all right?
It makes defective replicants,
and we dock your pay for those.
Okay, you can come on out now.
Hi, there.
-Ready to work?
-Oh.
[chuckles]
You told me they'd be defective,
but that-- that-- that--
that's like-- that's haunting.
Let's get rid of you.
Oh, hey there.
Okay, you got me.
I surrender.
Hands up, right?
-Cute.
-[laser g*n zaps]
[Announcer]
You are unclean.
Do not contaminate the sauce.
Did somebody say benefits?
Once a year, you're entitled
to a free soft serve ice
cream cone on your hire date.
-So you got that
to look forward to.
-[man scoffs]
And in five short years...
They didn't really zap that guy.
That's just special effects.
Okay.
They probably just
bonked him on the head
and tossed him
in a reclamation unit.
Yeah.
Man, you look familiar.
You're One Tank Frank.
[chuckles]
Guilty as charged.
You a fan?
Yeah, I mean, it's the whole
reason why I'm here,
to make clone cops.
Oh, no.
Not supposed to use the C word.
Oh, clone security officers.
No, the C word is clone.
Never mind.
So is this everyone?
-I guess.
-Let's have a look.
[laughs]
How's it going guys?
Hello?
Kind of a celebrity
situation going on here.
No, yeah, you guys take five.
Looks like it's your lucky day.
I came down here to select
my newest assistant,
and I think
you've got the right stuff.
Seriously?
Oh, man, that's great.
That's--
should I finish the video?
No need.
No, time is the best teacher.
Welcome to the future.
[upbeat music]
When--
when I point at you like this,
I'm waiting for you
to tell me your name.
Oh, right, I'm Freddy.
Welcome to the future, Freddy!
[laughs]
[electronic music]
[man] Hey, kid.
Wake up kid.
[groans]
-It started.
-Rub that sleep
outta your eyes.
Porter wants to see ya.
That's not gonna work.
We can't use the skywalk.
There's too many shops.
It's covered in
retinal scanners.
That I can disable.
Not from here, right?
I might have to go out
on a heist, Mom.
The new guy's
been out more times than me.
No, out of the question.
It's too dangerous.
It is the best possible option.
Okay, this place was designed
to keep people like us out.
It's a rigged system.
It's only rigged
if you play by the rules.
How long am I supposed to
wait for you to trust me?
-I trust you. I just--
-[woman] You're not ready.
Thank you, Fera.
You're better off hiding
behind your keyboard.
I am not hiding.
Not as helpful.
Hey, it's Cipher.
-How's-- how--
-Unbelievable.
Hey, boss.
Found the new kid
in the back passed out.
Well, I hope
you got some sleep,
because it's gonna
be a long night.
Need your route
to the drop site.
My-- oh, yeah.
My-- my route,
I-- I can-- I can do that.
What are you smiling at?
Hey, kid, might not
wanna make eye contact.
She takes it as a threat.
-Sorry.
-Yeah.
Uh, where's--
where's the drop site?
It's a little red X right there.
Cool, yeah.
Um, [clears throat]
my route--
-route to the drop site is--
-[electronic beeping]
Cipher, what's going on?
I don't know.
Why don't you ask Kinder?
He sounds pretty clued in.
Knock it off.
What's the alarm?
[scoffs]
It's just a perimeter alert.
It's probably one
of those mega rats.
Those things
are size of toddlers.
Let me just--
Wait, it's a vehicle and...
whatever it is, it has
a government transponder.
What does that mean?
It means it's probably police.
-I got it.
-No, no, hold on, Fera.
-How many?
-Looks like just one.
Here, kid.
Take this.
You know, just in case.
[tense music]
It's probably a patrol.
Let's wake Granny up.
Granny.
That never works.
What do you know about it?
Oh, nothing.
[chuckles]
I was just thinking--
Why are you smiling?
Eye contact, kid.
-Eye contact.
-Right.
Kinder, go stand
by the door and wait for
my signal to open it.
We're gonna have
to time this just right.
[tense music continues]
[motor chugging]
This is RSO 421.
Checking out
suspicious activity.
If you need anywhere else.
[dispatcher] Copy that.
[humming]
[humming continues]
[RSO 421]
Oh, somebody dropped a dime.
Looks like my lucky day.
-Yes?
-Hello ma'am.
How are you today?
Oh, my elbow is acting up again,
but I suppose I'll survive.
Are you a police officer?
No, ma'am.
I'm in a NEFARICORP
Replicant security officer.
Isn't that neat?
We've received reports of
unlawful activity in the area.
Could you take
that helmet off, dearie?
I can't understand you.
Of course.
No, no, no, no, don't
take the helmet off.
You won't be able to hear me.
Is that better?
Oh, much better.
Thank you, dear.
Idiot. Why would
a little old lady be living
in an abandoned warehouse?
Ma'am, we've received
reports of criminal activity
in this warehouse.
Have you seen
anything suspicious?
Oh, my.
Criminals, you say?
Well, let me think.
No, I haven't seen
any criminals,
but there is a squirrel who
keeps stealing my bird seed.
Do you think that's who
you could be looking for?
[can clatters]
What was that?
[stammers]
Nothing,
it's probably just my kettle.
Ma'am, do I have permission
to enter your domicile?
Oh, my,
it's such a mess in here
and I-- I can't really
clean the way I used to.
If only there was a better way.
For 12 low monthly payments,
you could have
your own robosan.
What's she doing?
I don't know.
Not only does it
keep carpets spotless,
but it mops hardwoods,
tile and laminate, too.
Something's wrong.
I-- I lifted her AI
off of one of those
interactive infomercials.
She must be defaulting
to her sales pitch.
She's crashing.
Something keeps trying
to connect to my device.
It's k*lling my bandwidth.
-Can you squash it?
-I'm trying.
It's more than just
a robotic floor cleaner.
It's a companion-panion.
Ma'am, I'm gonna have
to ask you to step aside.
Uh, yes.
Are you a police officer?
[tense music]
[woman grunts]
sh**t him kid, sh**t him.
[tense music continues]
-[g*nsh*t]
-[woman gasping]
Boss!
Huh?
Would you look at that?
Oh, how does it look?
It's fine.
We're gonna get you patched up.
Hey, help me move her.
Oh, that is a lot of blood.
Hey, get it together.
Come on.
Yeah, yeah, sorry.
[both grunt]
All right.
That's what I'm talking about.
One clone, one k*ll.
Oh, Jesus.
Bring me some paper towels,
would you?
I feel it today, Freddy.
Oh!
I think today's
gonna be a record breaker.
You might be witnessing history.
So what's next?
Well, we've established contact,
kicked the hornet's nest,
so to speak.
And now we're gonna
dial it up a notch.
But first we kick out the jams.
[upbeat music]
Yeah.
Ooh!
[computer beeping]
Yo, you gonna get that?
Oh, don't worry,
I'm getting it.
No, no, I mean, the call.
-Are you gonna answer that?
-Oh crap.
[music stops]
-Hello?
-Frank.
My guys in the garage are
ready to brief your replicants.
-Where are they?
-They're coming.
I'm just showing
my new assistant around.
Another assistant?
Yep, he's a keeper, I think
Well just make sure
you gets some beauty shots
of the new vehicle, okay?
I'll see what I can do.
Frank, that wasn't
a suggestion.
That's coming from
the VP of merchandising.
[clicks tongue]
You got it buddy.
[exhales]
-Marketing, am I right?
-[laughs]
Okay, enough goofing around.
Let's get serious.
I'm ready.
I'll tell you when you're ready.
You're ready.
[laughs]
All right,
let's make some replicants.
[tense music]
-[man] Boss?
-[Cipher] Mom?
Oh, man,
she's really bleeding a lot.
[Cipher]
Mom, what happened?
[Fera] She's fine.
Brick, go get the med kit.
-What happened to her, Fera?
-Kinder froze up.
-What?
-What?
You let her get shot,
I saw you.
It happened so fast,
I was trying, I--
[Cipher] Shh.
Mom, hey.
You're gonna be
all right, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm okay, babe.
Are you serious?
You wanna give her sepsis?
It-- it's the only thing
I could find.
-Look harder.
-I'm trying the best I can.
If you know where it is,
tell me and I'll go find it.
[Fera] Okay, fine,
I'll just go find it.
Okay, okay,
everybody calm down.
We're about to have
a lot of company.
Cipher, we need to know what's
going on with your system.
Okay.
I'm sorry, I-- I didn't--
I'm--
Hey, hey, hey.
You didn't do this.
Go fix the glitch.
We're gonna need
your defense now.
Right.
Right.
Brick.
Take the kid to the armory.
Get what you need
for an as*ault.
On it.
Come on, kid.
-Brick.
-Yeah?
Load for bear.
Can I get an M250?
-I trust your instincts.
-Yes.
Let's go, come on.
That rag's not gonna cut it.
Just keep pressure
on the wound here
and I'm gonna go look
for the med kit.
Hey, hey, hey.
-If this goes south--
-It won't.
Fera, listen to me.
No, I know
what you're gonna say.
Hello, ladies,
did you miss me?
Oh, Evelyn, baby.
Sarah, oh, you look
so beautiful today.
But, Trin,
my heart, my girl.
Hey, kid, don't be rude,
introduce yourself.
These are my ladies.
[soft music]
Hello, I'm Kinder.
I don't actually feel
comfortable talking
to your g*ns.
Not gonna bite.
Get to know 'em a little.
Listen, choosing a firearm
is not like a grab
and go situation.
You gotta make love to 'em.
You don't just pull
the trigger on the first g*n
that gives you a chub.
You romance it a bit.
Take it to Arby's.
You spend a lot
of alone time in here, huh?
Yeah.
Listen...
kid, you can tell me
if you haven't...
you know.
I've had sex.
[laughs] No, not that, man.
I don't care about that.
I just think it seems like
you've never shot a g*n before.
Well, of, of course I have.
Just not, you know,
in-- in real life.
I mean, I've--
I've played lots of VR sims.
They're pretty realistic.
So you've never k*lled
anyone before?
No, no.
Well, that explains why
you froze up back there, Kid.
k*lling someone's
not like a video game.
It has emotions.
It won't happen again.
I'm ready.
Listen, hold on.
Don't be in such a rush.
You can't come back from this.
It sticks with you.
Being here, this is
all I've ever wanted.
I won't let you guys down again.
Okay, when--
when that next wave comes in...
[imitates expl*si*n]
Oh, oh, my God,
I've been blown up.
My legs! My legs!
Ah!
You know, that's a shield
emitter and not a grenade?
Doesn't matter.
We're gonna get into
expl*sives later,
but for now, I'm pumped.
Let's get you a g*n.
How about that one?
Oh, her?
No, you wouldn't be
interested in that.
-Oh, come on.
-Hey,
it's for your own good.
She'd eat you for lunch.
I'm sorry, admittedly
that was too intense.
I didn't-- it was--
I'm-- I'm sorry.
Um, I just--
I have her saved
for a special occasion.
She's--
she's my prom date.
You a weird guy, Brick.
Yeah.
Let's get a g*n.
Okay.
Yeah.
What's her name?
Uh...
I like-- I like Brenda.
-Brenda. Brenda.
-Brenda, yeah?
Brenda.
She's a stick-- it's-- yes.
-That's a stock.
I like it, it's a good name.
-Yeah.
[keys clacking]
[Cipher] What the?
Come on.
-[computer beeps]
-[Cipher exhales]
You going for coffee?
I'll take one.
I am working.
Easy.
Just kidding.
I know you're working.
How is she?
[soft music]
In and out.
Lots of pain.
Thank you.
You know,
for taking care of her.
-I owe her.
-I know.
But still.
Thank you.
[soft music continues]
[computer beeping]
So what's up
with your computer?
So frustrating.
There's something in
the building that keeps
pinging to my network,
trying to connect to it.
It's cycling through
all my ports,
running everything offline.
I don't know
what to do to fix it.
I thought you knew
everything about the system.
I do, but whatever it is,
it's not mine.
It's something
called DENTA track.
-I never--
-DENTA track?
Those are great.
I love mine.
[Cipher]
What do you know about it?
Yeah, it's--
it's my smart retainer.
Your what?
Smart retainer.
Top of the line.
[Cipher] Give it to me.
I didn't bring my case.
I don't care.
I'm only required
to wear it at night.
My orthodontist, Dr. Swindoll,
he says I could wear it
during the day.
So I like using the pedometer
function to track my steps.
That is pretty cool actually.
[Fera]
No, do not encourage him.
This has a satellite
network uplink.
Why?
Oh, so Dr. Swindoll could
track my alignment in real time.
Wow.
Yeah, it's--
it's pretty cool.
He-- he can make
adjustments on the fly.
-He could--
-Shut up. I'm--
I'm sorry.
Please stop talking.
I am working.
That's your "I just
found something" posture.
What's up?
Look, I-- I piggybacked
off of the uplink
and it is
a whole other network.
It's huge.
It's like a completely
different Internet.
It's-- it's probably not
a-- a great idea, right?
Jumping on some--
some random Internet source.
-The viruses.
-Shh.
Look, this is
the closest node to us,
and it is full of video feeds.
I wonder if I can just...
Yup, password was admin123.
God, people are predictable.
-[soft music]
-[computer beeps]
-Ow.
-It's--
it's coming
from inside the hideout.
When did you
install those cameras?
[Cipher] I didn't.
Somebody's been watching us.
Mom, you're awake.
Can you shut it down?
[Cipher] I mean,
I'd have to find a back
door somewhere and--
-Do it.
-[Cipher] Okay.
I guess we know
how the cops found us.
This isn't the cops.
This is a corporate
server, not government.
[Brick]
But who would wanna watch us?
[upbeat electronic music]
[g*nshots firing]
Hey, guys,
welcome back to the stream.
I'm Persephone and with me,
as always is Thongdaddy420.
Thong, big surprise.
The computer hacker Cipher has
discovered our camera feeds.
We gotta wonder what's
going through her head.
Seph, I think the bigger
question will be,
will she like and subscribe?
We're only just 20 minutes
into this episode
and already we've had
some major firsts.
That's right. Let's all
give it up for the winner
of our Be the Baddy Contest,
Cameron "Kinder" Pace,
who bested over
10,000 entrants
for his chance to rub elbows
with our favorite villains.
-[air horn blares]
-Now, Cameron, or
rather Kinder,
is not just some schlub
off the street.
He is a verified
CrimeTime360 mega fan.
I had the chance
to chat with him
before he went under station.
Let's take a look.
So, Cameron, how does it feel
to be the first fan ever
to actually step foot
inside the game?
Are you nervous?
Yeah.
But, you know, I--
I feel like I've been preparing
for this my whole life.
I've been watching CT360
since I was a kid.
I know all the arenas.
I played every VR sim.
Wait, every sim?
Including Persephone's
dance party?
100 percented it.
Twice. [chuckles]
Wow.
Aren't you scared though?
I mean, this isn't a sim.
I know it's dangerous, but...
I have maxed out my rankings
in the virtual world.
I'm ready to take it
to the next level.
Also, it doesn't hurt
that the replicants
are programmed
not to sh**t at you.
Yeah, yeah, that too.
[chuckles]
You can catch my full
interview with Kinder
on Nefari Plus.
Link in the chat.
Now we've only
just begun this matchup,
and with only
a single replicant down,
there's much more
action to come.
Hey, looks like we can
check in with One Tank Frank.
Let's see what's going
on in the Clone Dome.
Hi Frank, how are
things at Replicant HQ?
Hello, hello, Persephone,
I swear you get prettier
every time I see you.
Always a charmer.
So what can you tell us
about today's episode?
Well, as you saw, we already
scored a hit on Porter,
which is a pretty big win
for us, but we're not resting.
We've got something pretty
special brewing over here.
Frank, you gotta be jazzed
at the scoreboard right now.
One clone down,
one criminal down.
Thong, you can't ask for
better results than that.
So, Frank, are we gonna see
a bruiser today, do you think?
I can't reveal too much.
Oh, come on, bro.
You gotta give us something.
All right, I can reveal that
our next group of replicants
should be a big hit
with your squad.
The Hit Squad.
Now that's
what I'm talking about.
We haven't seen the Hit Squad
at all this season.
Why bring them back now?
Well, we gave them
a new set of wheels
and I think you guys are
really gonna love it.
A little busy here, Freddy.
Oh, who's that you got
there with you, Frank?
Oh, nobody.
Freddy, he's my new assistant.
Another new assistant?
Welcome to CrimeTime360 Freddy.
Hey. [chuckles]
I'm-- I'm a big fan
of the show.
-Can I help you?
-Oh, yeah.
You told me to let you know
when the Battle Buggy--
Up-up-up-up!
Let's not spoil
the big surprise.
I better get back to it.
You guys stay tuned.
[Persephone] You know we will.
Thanks, Frank.
Well guys, you heard the man.
The Hit Squad making
their season nine debut.
I'm getting
a little chubby over here.
[horn blares]
Let's take a look at
just who The Hit Squad are.
[announcer]
In the annals of history.
Ha, annals.
[announcer]
There are great warriors,
but four names
stand above the rest.
Each a specialist
in their field.
Axel, a master of
stealth and infiltration.
They'll never see me coming.
[announcer] Bullit,
a deadly small arms expert.
Don't nobody draw down
on Bullit.
[announcer] Riggs,
expl*sives are his game.
Better cover your ears.
[laughs]
[announcer] And Walker,
with black belts in seven
forms of martial arts.
Together,
they are The Hit Squad,
an elite force designed to
eliminate criminal threats.
Heads up.
[expl*si*n]
[upbeat music]
I am gonna call it,
total g*ng wiping under 15
minutes for a new record.
The Hit Squad coming back
with a new mystery vehicle.
I hope it's a jet.
[computer beeping]
[soft music]
It's cold.
I'm guessing that's just me.
You lost a lot of blood.
You aren't losing
anymore, so you can rest.
I'm fading, Fera.
You're gonna have
to take over for me.
That's not me, boss.
I'm not cut out for it.
It has to be.
You're the only choice.
[soft music continues]
I'm not.
-She's not ready.
-[computer beeps]
Perimeter alert.
It's moving fast,
some kind of vehicle.
[tense music]
-I'll check it out.
-I'll go with you.
He doesn't need any help.
Oh, come on, Fera,
he's just trying to learn.
[Fera]
He'll just get in the way.
Stay hidden,
numbers and loadouts,
report back on radio.
Yeah, I know how to do recon.
Sorry, kid.
Maybe next time.
[chair rolling]
How's it going?
Slow.
Managed to find out where
the camera feed is going.
But I can't access the data,
so I'm having
to clone the drive.
It's taking a while.
Yeah, yeah, I--
I didn't realize
how much waiting around
there would be.
Do you need something?
I was--
I was just checking on you.
I know you and your--
Porter,
I know you guys are close.
[scoffs]
Not really.
Sometimes.
I lost my mom
when I was a kid.
It was rough.
My dad
wasn't really around much.
Kind of stopped
living my life after that.
Spent all my time playing games.
My mom isn't dead, so...
I know, I'm--
I'm sorry.
Ugh, I am not good at this.
You're really not.
I meant talking to pretty girls.
[soft music]
[whispers]
I'm gonna stop talking now.
[engine rumbling]
[Fera on radio]
Brick, report, see anything?
[Brick]
Is that a dune buggy?
[engine rumbling]
Yeah, yeah. I see 'em.
They're in a vehicle.
Kinda.
What are they doing?
It's called
a beauty shot, Freddy.
Merchandising
is the name of the game.
And by tomorrow morning,
every kid in America
will want a Battle Buggy.
Are these guys serious?
Hey, dingle berries!
[g*nshots firing]
-Whoa!
-Ooh!
[upbeat music]
[announcer] Criminals
don't stand a chance
against The Hit Squad.
They'll never see me coming.
[announcer] An elite
replicant security force,
the Hit Squad are designed
for maximum impact.
[child]
Better cup your ears.
[announcer] And introducing
the Battle Buggy,
an indestructible
weapon of w*r.
Whoa, criminals beware.
[announcer] It's The Hit Squad
and the Battle Buggy
from Chadbro.
A subsidiary of NEFARICORP.
Stupid Battle Buggy.
Those marketing guys,
you know, they--
they think can just slap the
Hit Squad logo on anything
and it'll sell.
Wow.
-You've had a lot of assistants.
-What?
I'm just saying, like, I know
there's a high standard with
you being
One Tank Frank and all,
and I just want you to
know that I'm a team player
and I'm gonna do
whatever it takes
to make sure
your streak stays alive.
-Is that so?
-[computer beeping]
Hold that thought.
Frank, what the hell was that?
You said you wanted
a beauty shot.
What about that was beautiful?
Well, the logo looked great.
It's covered in blood.
I'm trying
to sell toys here, Frank.
You remember how well our
Crazy for Gacy playset did?
Yeah, not great.
Hey, I'm just following orders.
Your orders actually.
Huh?
You might think
your little fan cult
gives you some type of power,
but as much as people
love a winner,
they love to see
them fall so much more.
Okay, I'll keep that in mind.
[exhales]
What were we talking about?
Oh, I was just saying
that I'm--
I'm not gonna let you down.
I know you won't, Freddy.
I know you won't.
How are we looking on sauce?
Uh...
Hold on.
About, probably like,
about this much.
There's a gauge
on the side of the tank.
Right.
You can thank me now
or you can thank me later,
but the problem is solved.
I told you to radio back,
not fire indiscriminately.
I was discriminate.
They all
got in a line basically.
I couldn't have been
any more discriminate.
I wanted intel.
Were they police, military?
I don't know, it was
four guys in a go-kart.
-Describe them.
-Okay.
There was a ninja,
a construction worker.
-I think it was an HVAC person.
-All right, Brick,
Brick, we got it.
Look, I say
we make a run for it.
We are already
on surveillance
and now they're sending
in special forces.
Mm, they weren't that special.
-We can't leave.
-Oh, my God, Fera,
you do not have to
fight everyone on Earth.
Oh, my God,
I'm literally not trying to.
It's Porter.
She's in a really
bad state right now,
and I think if we move her,
she's not gonna make it,
so we have to buy more time.
[tense music]
So we make a stand.
I'm ready to fight.
-Great, Kinder's ready to fight.
-All right.
We hold out long enough
for Mom to stabilize.
How are we looking on weapons?
Gassed up like Talladega.
I don't know what that
means, but I trust you.
Look, now that I've sorted
out the network issue,
I can get our defense grid
back online.
But I'm gonna need
to do a full system reboot.
Okay, that means we will
all be totally vulnerable.
No sensors, nothing.
Do it.
Kinder, go secure all the doors
except for the atrium.
They'll have no other way
to enter the building.
We'll make our stand there.
Oh, k*ll box.
A what?
Classic video game tactic.
Funnel all your enemy
through one entrance
and then set up all your
defenses right there.
[upbeat music]
k*ll box.
I like it.
Stop smiling.
-Brick, set it up.
-On it.
Let's go.
[upbeat music continues]
Is this gonna work?
-It has to.
-Yeah.
All right, looking good.
Parameters all within
nominal range.
Stand by for release.
-All right, Freddy,
pop that top.
-[dings]
[hisses]
How's he look?
Like a wet hot dog.
Ha! That's just
his amniotic layer.
Doesn't always wash off
in the last cycle.
Just grab some paper towels.
Hello, friend.
I'm activated and ready
to serve.
[Frank] Diagnostic?
Buddy, I am 100% operational.
How are you today?
Hey, stand still.
Okey-dokey, artichokey.
Wait a second.
Freddy, hold up.
[tense music]
What, am I--
am I doing it wrong?
[Frank] Replicant,
what did you just say?
I said I am 100% operational
and isn't it a lovely day?
No, after that.
He said, "Okie-dokey
artichokey."
-[sighs] Juice him.
-Why?
Because anachronisms aren't
part of this behavior program.
Must be a buffer overflow from
a taxi driver or something.
-Juice him.
-I thought these things
were like fully autonomous
or whatever.
They are, but we bake
in their personality
and behavior programs
during replication.
Do you want
to watch a training video?
I mean, if you want to.
Oh, my God.
Watch this
while I clear the buffer.
[electronic music]
All right, so let's see,
we've covered
genomics and stabilizing DNA.
We talked about
inner office dating.
Do not do it.
Oh, oh.
Behavioral programming.
So Replicants come out as
a fully developed adult,
but their mind
is a blank slate.
We call it baby brain.
The cloning pod
zaps tons of information
into a brain
in just a few seconds.
Now don't get in there
and try it on yourself.
It only works on replicants.
We load them up with all
the stuff they need to know
how to do their job.
But we also give them memories
that make them love it too.
So they're happy to work.
That's how you know
you're not a replicant.
Be careful though.
Giving the wrong behavior
profile to a replicant
will make them hate their job.
Like really hate it.
Like murderously hate it.
And you.
Let's get you juiced.
[upbeat music]
Go this way.
Yeah.
[clears throat]
[mutters]
I'm gonna k*ll you.
Okay, thank you.
[electronic zapping]
[slurping]
[bubbling]
[soft music]
We're doing that well, huh?
Hey.
How do you feel?
Good.
I'm feeling better.
What are you still doing here?
Cipher's right.
You should make a run for it.
Thought you had passed out.
Hmm.
Must have heard it in a dream.
Fera, I'm not gonna lay here
and watch you all
die around me.
Get my daughter out of here.
She won't leave you
and neither will I.
Well, you're both
too damn stubborn.
Well, I wonder where
we learned that from.
[Porter] Please.
Just this once.
Stop fighting everyone.
I don't think
I ever thanked you...
for getting me out, for buying
my leash off the MTK King.
Sometimes it feels
like a different life,
like I watched it
on the holo.
What they turned me into off
the people that I hurt.
I can't undo that.
But you made me feel
human again.
You were never anything less.
[Brick]
You're so beautiful.
You like fondue?
Ever been to--
you ever been to--
we should go for fondue.
[Fera on radio]
Brick, do you have a visual?
Not yet, but I gotta tell you,
it sounds like a lot more
than four.
[dramatic music]
Reboot's almost done.
We should be back online
in 30 seconds.
Girls, listen to me.
This is not a suggestion.
I'm telling you to leave me.
One dead old convict is
not worth four living ones.
What are you talking about?
Fera, we're not leaving her.
No, we're not.
You have to accept reality.
[Brick on radio]
Cipher, I'm not gonna lie.
I got myself
in a smidge of pickle.
[dramatic music]
[clone] We will find you.
Almost there.
-She's working on it.
-[clone] k*ll.
-Got it.
-[beeps]
Memory full?
How big was that clone drive?
[Brick] Contact.
We have contact.
[g*nshots]
[clone] You suck.
[clone]
Time for some action.
Kid.
Welcome to the party.
[g*nshots continue]
[clone]
Is that the best you got?
[dramatic music continues]
Season nine?
What does that mean?
Back online,
defense grid powering up.
[g*nshots]
[clone] Ow, I'm hit.
k*ll box.
[clone]
Entry needed, door one.
[door buzzing]
-[beeping]
-[Cipher] Breach.
-Where?
-Where?
Hallway door.
Kid is worthless.
I'll take care of it.
I've got it covered.
Fera, I said I've got it.
[sighs]
[g*nshots in distance]
[humming]
When it comes
to stopping power,
let me tell you,
size matters.
Introducing the all new M250
light machine g*n
from Quigley Arms.
We took the 249
and made it one better.
It's a big g*n for big boys.
Where the hell did you
pull that holo from?
[Cipher]
Got it from Brick's email.
At 200 rounds per minute,
the M250 is sure
to penetrate any defense
from barb to bush.
It's kind of hot.
And every purchase comes
with a years'
supply of g*n oil.
-[giggles]
-[electricity zapping]
[g*nf*re]
Jesus, kid, you should have
hit one on accident by now.
I'm trying.
This g*n sucks.
Hey, watch your mouth.
[g*nsh*t]
[g*nf*re]
[clone] Just keep firing.
[g*nf*re]
Why are they only
sh**ting at me?
I'm out.
There's one left, kid.
Give me your g*n.
I just ran out.
Well, then here we go.
-Mama said knock you...
-Oh, no.
...out. Oh.
Hey, kid.
Didn't we already
k*ll this guy?
[both laughing]
With the mouse?
[tense music]
What is this?
Cipher, behind you!
[g*nshots]
[Porter groaning]
[both grunting]
[g*nsh*t]
[gasping]
Mom.
Mom.
Mom, mom.
Mom.
And welcome back.
We've just seen a heroic effort
by our replicant
security officers
that had me
on the edge of my seat.
Seph, can you believe it?
Our mega fan, wonder Kinder
with his first ever
CrimeTime360 k*ll.
What an incredible round.
Right up to the wire.
I really thought
Cipher was a goner.
I just wish I'd gotten to see
Fera go full beast mode.
My lady, la tigra,
let your freak flag fly.
Ow.
Don't make me
turn the hose on you.
Promises, promises.
Hey, let's check in with Frank
and Freddy down in the lab.
[electronic music]
Don't, use the other end.
That's the rectal side.
That's unsanitary.
Frank, can you hear us?
Hey, hey, guys. Sorry.
We were just getting set
up for the next wave.
What a round we just had.
A total clone wipe out
on your end.
That's gotta hurt.
Yeah, but don't you worry.
Old One tank Frank
isn't that easy to beat.
Guys, let's pull up
the Spin Gin sauce O-meter
and see how we're looking.
42%
and the g*ng
is still at full strength.
You gotta tell me,
and I know you won't,
but you gotta tell me.
Does that worry you at all?
Well, Dale,
I think if you check
your facts,
you'll see
that Porter is dead.
Is there anything
you'd like to say
about the disappointing
performance
turned out by the Hit Squad?
Hey, you know what, guys?
I've still got
a lot of work to do here,
so we'll just chat
after the episode.
All right,
we'll talk to you soon.
Let's get back to the action
and see how
this vicious criminal g*ng
is celebrating their victory.
Mom, hey.
Hey, stay with me.
Be better.
I know.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.
No, no, no, be better than me.
I never understood your mind.
It's so bright.
And from the dark,
you blinded me.
You can be better than this.
You can be more.
No. No, I can't.
I'm sorry.
I didn't know
how to be what you needed.
I wanted you to...
I thought...
You're my mom.
That's all I needed.
It's all I ever needed.
[somber music]
Fera.
Take care of each other.
Yeah, we will.
No more fighting.
You're more than that now.
You're sisters.
[sobbing]
-[box crashing]
-[grunts]
[somber music]
Just, who the hell
do they think they are
talking to me
like I'm some kind of fresh
behind the ears pod scrubber?
-Yeah.
-I made this g*dd*mn show.
Do you know
what the ratings were
before I took over the lab?
-[Freddy] Bad?
-Well, they were not great,
I can tell you that.
They owe me,
that's for damn sure.
-This whole company owes me.
-[computer beeping]
Maybe I should take this.
I really don't have
time for this, Murphy.
20 clones
and not a single k*ll?
Do I need to remind you the
whole purpose for this show,
for your job,
is to sell replicants?
We got a k*ll.
I would've had two kills
except for that jackass Kinder
kid you put into the game.
My guys
can't even sh**t at him.
How the hell am I supposed
to compete with that?
Kinder is a marketing tool,
not a hardened criminal.
You're a marketing tool.
Maybe I should tell HR
about all the surveillance
footage you keep deleting.
Freddy, reset the pods.
This just got personal.
Oh, God, I hate
the cream spinach flavor.
[soft music]
Wait a second.
So you're telling me
all those guys I k*lled,
were all the same guy?
If they've replaced
the police with clones
-we're in really big trouble.
- Definitely.
How's that?
'Cause we can't outlast them.
They'll just keep making more.
Replicants.
There's something
you all need to see.
[computer beeping]
Hey, there all you
future fight fans.
I'm Persephone,
your number one stream queen.
and with me is the crown
prince of competitive gaming,
Thongdaddy420.
-[air horn blares]
-What's up?
[Persephone] We would
like to welcome you
to the first ever episode
of CrimeTime360
gladiatorial combat
for the 21st century.
That's right.
We've taken DNA from some
of the most notorious
K*llers of all time
and created a super
team of cloned bad guys.
I'm talking
the worst of the worst,
t*rrorists, assassins,
black hat hackers.
These villains are tricked out
and ready to bring the...
Hey, that's me.
[Persephone] These criminals
will have to face off
against an army of
replicant security officers.
The newest technology
from NEFARICORP.
It's gonna be a bloodbath.
And don't you worry,
we have no shortage of DNA.
For every officer they off,
we'll make two more
until the last criminal's
just a stain on the floor.
[laughs]
Cipher, what the hell is this?
So we're all clones, too?
No.
No, no, this is a trick.
Someone is trying
to get into our heads.
They hacked your system
and they planted those videos.
This isn't a hack.
I would know.
[Fera] No, I--
I have memories.
Right?
Of what they did to me.
They turned me into an animal.
I can--
I can remember the pain.
I was a child
and they kept me on a leash
and they spliced
my DNA and-- and-- and--
and they made me
k*ll people to survive.
And I still see their faces
every time I close my eyes.
Porter, Porter saved me.
If I'm a clone, how the hell
do I have these memories?
Because they wanted you
to be a villain.
Play another video.
All the same.
Okay, every single one
is an episode of this show.
And in every single one,
we all die.
It's not always here.
Sometimes it's in a bank
or an airplane,
but they're all the same.
I'm-- I'm--
I'm kind of losing it
here, Cipher.
I don't-- I don't know
what memories are real
and which ones are fake.
I--
Every memory before
the last hour is fake.
[Fera] That's bullshit.
This is the first video
feed recorded today.
[light music]
All right,
let's talk about it.
Which way?
I think I like this.
So we all die?
All of us?
Every time?
Not all of us.
Kinder isn't in
any of the videos.
[tense music]
Oops. Looks like we lost
transmission there
before we could find out
exactly what Cipher discovered
on her computer.
Let's hope
it's more holo videos
from Brick's private
collection.
You're so gross.
You have no idea.
Why don't we take
a short commercial break
while we figure this out?
Don't go anywhere.
We've got lots more action
coming up on CrimeTime360 .
[g*nf*re]
Freeze, criminal scum.
[g*nsh*t]
Hi, there.
I'm John Franklin.
You probably recognize
me from, well, everywhere.
I'm the original United
States police officer
on which all replicant
security forces are based.
-[clone] Hey, John.
-[clone 2] Looking good, John.
When I'm not protecting you,
I like to relax with something
smooth and nutritious,
which is why I drink Spin Gin.
It's the only gin
made with real spinach.
Every bottle packs two
whole servings of vegetables.
It's a real steal of a meal.
[both laughing]
-Spin Gin.
-[funky music]
You'll have the strength
Of 10 men
You're face
Will have a big grin
Life is a win win
If you're drinking
That Spin Gin
[funky music continues]
Liquor that's good for you.
[tense music]
You left the door open
for them, didn't you?
No, no, I-- I swear they
they were all locked.
They don't sh**t at you
'cause you're one of them.
I-- I-- I'm with you guys.
I-- I swear.
I k*lled the one that
had Cipher, remember?
Hardly matters though,
does it?
They're clones,
they can be replaced.
That's what the idiot
with the gold tooth said.
Kinder. Come on, kid.
What the hell's going on?
[tense music continues]
All right,
all right, all right, my--
my name isn't Kinder.
All right, it's--
it's Cameron.
I'm not--
I won a contest.
A contest?
Yeah, yeah, the-- the--
the Be a Baddy contest.
It's for the show.
I won a contest for the show
and I--
and I get to be on it.
That's--
that's why I'm here.
I am not with the cops.
I'm here
to help you guys fight them.
I am your biggest fan.
-Yeah, I'm gonna stab him.
-Wait.
He could be telling the truth.
I saw something about
it in one of the videos.
Are you serious?
You think someone
would choose to be here?
I did, though.
I wanted to meet you guys.
To-- to fight beside you.
I've-- I've played
all your sims.
Sims?
This is a game to you?
No.
I mean it was, but--
but not anymore.
I didn't--
you guys weren't real
to me before this.
You were just characters
in a-- in a TV show.
But--
but Cipher almost getting
k*lled in front of me and--
and Porter.
I see now...
how it hurts you,
how-- how real you are.
I'm sorry,
I didn't want you to find out.
I'm sorry.
Is it true?
Are we just clones?
[soft music]
Yeah, Brick, yeah, it's true.
But you're not--
you're not just clones.
You're my friends.
Kind of my only friends.
How does it end, Cameron?
What do you mean?
If we all die,
the show ends when we die.
How does it end with you in it?
Nobody told me that.
I didn't really ask.
I just thought we would win.
It ends with you
surrounded by the corpses
of your friends.
Yeah, I'm gonna stab him.
-No.
-No, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Make sure you get
those injection ports.
-[Freddy] Oh.
-That's it.
You're doing very nice work.
Thanks.
[computer beeping]
You keep scrubbing while
I deal with this idiot.
[growls]
Listen, jackass,
if I want your opinion,
I'll pull your string
like your puppet master...
Mr. Nefari.
Hello, sir.
You know, f*ck it.
Just mark a hole in one
on this one.
Yeah.
Not bad, right?
Frank, or shall I call you
One Tank?
-Whatever you like, sir.
-Great, I'll just call
you Frank.
Listen, we've run
into a little snag.
I'm gonna need you
to wrap this episode up
in say the next
15 minutes or so.
That's...
not a lot of time.
I know,
it's so good to see you, too.
Listen, we've had
to k*ll the feed
and you know the old saying,
dead air don't sell replicants.
Ha! No, it--
it's on my coffee mug.
[laughs]
Great, I probably paid for it.
Listen, I think 50 replicants
should do it, okay.
Yes, sir.
But-- but-- but-- but
the thing is that's--
that's-- that's really
not a lot of time.
Stop it, it's my pleasure.
Frank,
I know you're not
gonna let me down on this.
You are the best technician
we have.
My number one guy. Shh.
Yes, sir.
Thank you, sir.
Do you think
we have bigger ba*ls?
Is that a possibility?
[Freddy] You okay?
You look like
you were about to throw up.
Let-- let me
grab you something.
No.
I thought you were
gonna throw up.
How much sauce we got left?
42%.
You want me to load some more?
You'd love that, wouldn't you?
You would absolutely
love to see me fail.
Here's your chance
to take the crown.
Well, guess what?
I'm One Tank Frank.
Not you.
One Tank Freddy
doesn't even rhyme.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You got me all wrong, man.
I don't want your crown.
I'm-- I'm here to help you.
I'm on your side.
What do you want me to do?
-You're my assistant.
-You're right.
All right, then.
Shut up.
Let me think.
We'll just have to
downgrade the sequence.
That'll get us to the number
we need in the time we have.
But that much genetic drift
won't support
the behavior program
unless...
[tense music]
-What's the play?
-Well, if we allow
a higher variance,
we can take some shortcuts
with the DNA sequencer.
Whoa, whoa, I thought--
I thought variance
was a bad thing.
Only because
the behavior programs
need a predictable level of
genetic drift to take hold.
But that doesn't matter if
we use a different program.
Oh, what do you have in mind?
Just a special little number
I've been working on
in my spare time.
It's optimized
for lower grade replicants,
doesn't require
a lot of processing power,
if you catch my drift.
So they'll be dumb.
Not dumb. Just...
easily convinced.
All right, best ideas,
how do we get out of this?
Can we get out of this?
Seems to me we're caged in.
Sure, but it's just
like any other system.
There has to be a back door,
some kind of redundancy.
Maybe we can just hold out.
We've been doing pretty good.
-That won't work.
-Shut up.
I'm trying to help.
They really are replicants.
I mean, no one calls 'em that.
We all call 'em clone cops.
They replaced
real cops years ago.
It was a big deal.
Put a lot of people out of work.
It's been happening all over.
It sucks.
Real cops,
they weren't perfect,
but they had their humanity.
Oh, so we lack humanity now?
No, that's not what I meant.
These guys, they-- they don't
have weaknesses like us.
They don't get scared.
When one of 'em dies,
the rest just keep going.
They don't bury the bodies.
They just recycle them
to make more clone cops.
Come on, guys.
Now that you know the truth,
I can tell you lots of stuff.
I know everything
about this show.
Brick, that group
that you k*lled earlier,
that was The Hit Squad.
They're an elite team of
specialized clone cops.
And you took 'em all out.
Oh, I wish I could have
been there to see that.
I swear,
if you don't shut up.
The Hit Squad?
What a stupid name.
What's the dune buggy called?
The dune buggy is new actually.
Dune buggy. There's a dune
buggy parked just outside.
[announcer]
And now a message
from Robert Nefari
of NEFARICORP,
the nation's leader in
genetically modified organisms
and soft serve technologies.
Hello and congratulations.
It may interest you to learn
that you are the first
group of criminal replicants
in nine years
to become self-actualized.
Wow. Give yourselves
a round of applause.
No, don't.
You are superstars.
And I'm not just saying that.
Your show, CrimeTime360 ,
is the highest rated streaming
sports entertainment program
on the net! Whoo.
Now, naturally, we wanna
maintain that presence.
So I wanna make you all a deal.
Let us come in
and reset the scenario
with a fresh batch
of replicants
and I'll arrange
for you your safe exit.
In fact,
we're gonna whisk you away
to your own private island
where you can lay
on the beach all day,
sipping Spin Gin martinis.
And what?
Just let other versions
of ourselves die instead?
[laughs]
Possibly, I don't know.
I can't tell the future.
You're not seeing
the big picture here I think.
I'm impressed with you.
Is that even plausible?
We took your DNA from
the literal scum of the Earth
and to see you
rise above your base
instincts, become a team,
It's-- it's really--
it's touching.
And I want to reward you.
And if we refuse?
Well, you know,
you've seen the vids.
What do you have to gain?
I have an endless supply of
replicants at my disposal.
I control every door
and window in the building.
Yeah, you're right, Fera,
this is a cage.
So let's help each other here.
I need to get
the stream back online.
And the fastest way
to do that is by,
you know, replacing you
all with a fresh batch.
Fresh batch.
[laughs]
You just lay down your weapons.
You let me
take care of everything.
Okay? You can do those drinks
on the beach,
you know, or die, whatever.
Can't tell the future.
[laughing]
We can take care of ourselves.
Shall we?
[soft music]
Do they just-- are they--
are they gone?
Where are they going?
So what are they doing?
Did they give an answer?
Oh, I like
your science man coat.
Not now, all right.
Here, put this on.
-No, thank you.
-Put on your uniform.
-Hey, hey, Frank.
-How many does that make?
Do you notice something
different about these guys?
Of course they seem different.
I already told you.
Four, six, eight,
10 plus the eight tall ones.
[clone] Ooh, it smells
like me in here.
-Go get 'em.
-[clone] Oh, I'm gonna get 'em.
Listen, I--
I know you said that these--
these guys
wouldn't be that smart, but
there's something really
different about these guys.
-[squealing]
-It's fine.
I just stripped them of any
sense of inhibition whatsoever
and reduce their modesty
protocols to almost zero.
[clone] Ready for takeoff,
science daddy.
[whooping]
Frank.
Have you been having
sex with the replicants?
[Frank] No!
Yes.
But I don't have
a lot of free time.
Please don't yuck my yum.
Listen, what a man does in
the privacy of his own lab,
that is his business.
But aren't you afraid of
catching the clonemydia?
Can we please just focus
on the task at hand here?
-How many does that make us?
-We don't even have 50 yet.
That's fine. We don't have
enough helmets anyway.
We'll just send the
rest when they're done.
Also, clonemydia is a myth.
I should send you some links.
You gotta do your own research.
What are we gonna do
about the r*fles?
-[clone giggling]
-They'll pick 'em up off
the dead ones.
[whooping]
There's gonna be a lot
of dead ones.
Come on.
Go.
It's-- how does it start?
[tense music]
The Battle Buggy
is remote start.
You think I would create a team
of replicant super criminals
and just leave the keys
in the glove box.
Wait, it's a trick.
Check the glove box.
Move, I can hot wire it.
Guys, come on.
Come on, the sooner you realize
it, the easier it'll be.
You're not in a fair fight.
I've rigged the system.
Of course I did.
Sure I gave you weapons and
a computer defense system,
but that was really
just to showcase
our powerful replicant
security officers.
Hey, we're holding
our own here, guy.
Brick, you're meant to.
The whole point
of this show, people,
is to draw viewers in
with violence.
What do they take away from it?
That no matter
how tough the bad guys are,
no matter how many replicants
they k*ll,
that we'll just keep
making them until we win.
And I gotta tell you,
it's been very profitable.
Very profitable.
It's all blood money.
I haven't k*lled anyone.
You're just a bunch of clones.
You're my property.
Good guys, bad guys,
it doesn't really matter to me.
The blood is what people want.
They'll watch you
commit atrocities
and go to bed
with a smile on their face
because they know
that I'm selling an army
to protect them.
That's all I care about,
you guys.
I just wanna sell replicants.
I genuinely don't care
if the three of you
spend the rest of your lives
getting drunk on a beach.
-Let me help you.
-[clone] So bright out here.
-Hey, we got company.
-[clone laughs]
-Ooh, grass.
-Y'all look like me.
-It really is weird.
-Come on, guys,
they're over here.
Are those guys
coming to the beach, too?
Oops, got me.
Okay, well, I was telling
a bit of a fib.
I needed to buy time
till the next batch of
replicants were ready.
Looks like they're ready.
Oh.
-I've almost got it.
-No you don't.
I told you,
it's a remote start.
I have the remote.
I mean, is it me?
I'm gonna find you and make
you pay for all of this.
Good luck, moron.
I live in space, bye.
[tense music]
I'm gonna go k*ll this thing.
I'm gonna stick my g*n up it
and pull the trigger.
Inside.
-Brick, come back.
-No, I'm not.
No, I'm not.
-[g*nf*re]
-[glass breaking]
So it's floating in
the middle of the hot tub.
Nobody will take credit
for it, by the way.
The water jets turn on and it
starts floating towards me.
But the ketamine finally has
kicked in and I can't move.
Oh, thank God,
the feed is back.
I'll tell you the rest later.
[Cipher]
Run back, boiler room.
-[clone] Go time.
-[g*nf*re]
Oh, a little bit
of friendly fire there.
That's odd.
Frank must have really
turned up the aggression.
Must have.
-[Brick] Damn it.
-We're trapped down here.
Mom was right,
I'm not ready for this.
Hey, guys.
-Kid.
-Hurry up, come on.
How'd you get loose?
I've seen
every hostage episode.
-Fera always ties the same knot.
-No I don't.
-Yeah, you do.
-Nice work, kid.
All right,
I appreciate the save.
But they control the doors
and we have an army behind us.
-That's why I brought this.
-Not bad.
How long will this hold?
Long enough
to make a plan, come on.
Come on, come on, everybody.
Everybody go, go, go.
[tense music]
[tense music continues]
Great. Our defensive
measures are down.
-They're dead.
-That's why I prefer analog.
All right, well,
you sh**t, sh**t, sh**t
and I'll type, type, type.
Are those cameras still on?
[Cipher] Yup.
And the feet is live, too.
Just in case.
Come on.
[soft music]
[clone]
Ew, the door's heavy.
Ah.
Hey.
Ow.
Ow.
Ow! [laughs]
[g*nf*re]
[clone] So many b*ll*ts.
Ah!
These guys-- does these guys
seem different to you?
Same to me.
Same shirt, same hat.
[g*nf*re]
[clone] Oh, God.
Nah, they're all different
sizes and kind of dumb.
-Oh!
-Kid.
Hold on.
Ooh, shiny.
-Let me hold it.
-Hey, it's my turn.
Finders keepers.
Ah!
Smells like burning.
Ow, that stings.
-They shot me.
-It's just a flesh wound.
-You'll be all right.
-No, Brick, he shot me.
He's not supposed
to be able to sh**t me.
Something's changed.
Hey, Cipher,
do you have a feed?
Tell me you're seeing
what I'm seeing.
[clone] Right back there.
[clone] And then to
really give it to 'em
you just get down in there,
you gotta get down.
You get low in that squat.
They're all different sizes.
Are they not clone cops?
[Kinder]
Making this many this fast
must've taxed their system.
Hang tight, I have an idea.
It doesn't matter
how tall they are,
there's too many of them and
they know exactly where we are.
[g*nf*re]
What the hell?
I've--
I created a blind spot.
I mean, we--
we take out enough cameras
-and they can't
keep tabs on us.
-That's great.
Awesome. Just let me
do the sh**ting, okay,
'cause you're gonna
k*ll yourself.
Keep--
keep clicking those keys.
Can't see us now, can you?
[clone] My beautiful face.
My beautiful face.
Why would you throw that at me?
Well, not to worry,
the g*ng may have knocked
out some of our cameras,
but we have
a live feed coming in
from every single
replicant in the field.
And we're gonna continue
to show you all the action
up close and personal.
What was up with that
Kinder kid being shot?
That's kind of wild, right?
-Dude.
-Well, am I wrong?
If that kid dies, our viewers
are gonna have to suspend
a hell of a lot of disbelief.
Right? Right?
[tense music]
All right, let's hear it.
So this batch of clone cops
all look different.
Well, different enough. Ow.
So I was thinking
we grab a few,
put on their uniforms
and we can probably walk out of
here without anyone noticing.
That's a terrible idea.
You think people won't notice
when we just disappear?
We can dress up some of
the dead ones in our clothes.
Isn't the whole point
of the show for people
to watch us die?
Cipher, you should really be
in charge of plans over here.
What if I feed them
old footage
of us dying
from previous episodes?
I mean, to anyone watching,
it would look like we died
right in front of them.
You could do that?
Well, not right now.
I would need
to access the hard lines
where the camera feeds go.
I just...
What?
I don't know where it is.
I do.
Yeah, before they sedated me
to-- to put me on the show,
they gave me a tour.
-A tour.
-I thought it'd be cool.
I'd meet One Tank Frank
and make my own clone.
But the only person available
to gimme a tour when I got there
was this sound engineer
named Hunter.
Pretty nice guy actually.
He showed me the hard line
uplink and the control box
and the best bathroom
to poop in.
It's just outside.
The hard line uplink,
not the--
[Fera] Shut up.
What else?
Well, I would need to
power everything down
as I set up my feed and then
power everything back up again.
It would take a while.
How long is a while?
I don't know, three minutes.
But once it's powered back on,
I can execute
the program anytime we want.
I'll go.
You're not invulnerable
anymore.
-It's too dangerous.
-Okay, look,
Brick is keeping them
from getting inside.
You're taking care
of the ones that do.
And Cipher needs to stay
here to run the program.
I'm nobody.
I don't have a function.
I just won a contest.
Off the top of my head,
I can think of about
20 different reasons
why this won't work.
[Brick] Guys,
I'm running low on a*mo.
What are we gonna do, boss?
All right, this is what
needs to happen.
All right, so we've got
everybody in the field,
but we've only got 25 left.
50% loss already?
That doesn't make any sense.
No, look,
there's 28, not 25.
No, this one
can't figure out the door.
This one's trying
to pick a leaf.
And this one, I don't
know what he's doing.
Oh, he's looking
at himself on his camera.
All right,
you made your point.
I am gonna make a bruiser.
-It's a great idea.
-I know.
But do we have enough
sauce for that?
Don't worry about it.
Go grab the biggest uniform
you can find.
Got it.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
How do I look
Stupid.
All right,
we have about 30 seconds
until the shield runs out.
When the shield drops,
let them clear the door.
Cipher will k*ll the lights
and you can slip out
in the darkness.
[Kinder] Shouldn't I help
you with the clones first?
It won't be a problem.
Just get ready.
You know, you're like
everyone's favorite, right?
What?
The way you look,
the things you could do,
people go crazy for it.
[soft music]
I didn't ask for this.
I-- I know.
But life is--
is hard out there.
A lot of people feel small
and-- and powerless.
Different.
You make them feel stronger,
proud of who they are.
You know, Cipher,
she likes you.
She does?
Stop smiling.
Ah.
Ah.
Hey.
[clone laughing]
-I know you and I don't--
-Now.
[alarm sounding]
[tense music]
Come here, boy
Let me holler at ya
I see you walking
This way, way
But this is not
What you think
You know I came here
To slay
You got to see what I mean
Come here, boy
I got something
To show you
Come here, boy
Lemme holler at ya
Come here, boy
I got something
To show ya
Come here, boy
Let me holler at ya
You think you
Met me before
Baby, that wasn't me
[tense music]
[chuckles]
Can't be this easy.
[powers down]
-Hey.
-Oh.
Who are you?
I am a clone co--
replicant.
A clone replicant?
They make those?
Yeah, yeah.
What's your badge number
Four.
[clone] Hey, I'm four.
He says he's four
Okay, okay,
just-- just arrest me.
These are one size fits all.
I mean, I-- I could
stitch 'em together,
but what is it
that you normally do?
Oh, dude.
Sorry, Freddy.
I need to take your DNA.
You as*h*le!
Way stronger than I thought.
God!
Jesus.
[funky music]
You know I've been
A big fan...
I like dancing.
Dancing is fun.
Yeah, your band's
Pretty tight
I actually know this song.
You dance, too?
No, no, no, no.
I have to stay by this.
I said dance.
Oh, Jesus!
I miss you like "Rain"
I miss you like
"The Color Purple"
Son of a b*tch.
What the hell is that?
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I needed your sauce
to make the bruisers.
You were gonna juice me?!
Yes, I'm sorry.
But my record,
my reputation.
I'm One Tank Frank.
I don't miss you
Like I miss Prince
[music continues]
Please, please,
please don't k*ll me.
-No, please.
-I'm not gonna k*ll you.
-I'm trying to help you up.
-You're not mad?
I'm pissed.
And I'm definitely
reporting this to HR.
-[Frank] Right.
-But I'm not gonna hurt you.
-Get up.
-Okay.
Is just a hit away
From a one hit wonder
Cashin' in all your fame
Forget my name
And losing my number
I miss you like "Rain"
I miss you like
"The Color Purple"
Like "1999"
[grunts]
Oh! Sorry, Freddy.
But it's all
for the greater good.
Oh.
-[g*nsh*t]
-Don't miss you like a
I don't miss you
Like I miss Prince
That's the last of my a*mo.
Well, there.
It's set. Now we wait.
He can do it, right?
It's a button.
How hard could it be?
[music continues]
I don't miss you
Like I miss Prince
No
Don't miss you like Prince
[pounds]
I miss you like "Rain"
I miss you like
"The Color Purple"
Like "1999"
"Little Red Corvette"
Doing circles
I miss you like
"Let's Go Crazy"
I miss you like "Kiss"
But I don't miss you like I
Don't miss you like I
Don't miss you like I
I don't miss you like
I miss Prince
That's new.
You know, I'm gonna come
right out and say it.
I like it.
Yeah.
Gotta love a bruiser.
[laughs]
Diagnostic?
[clone] Buddy, we are
100% operational.
Say again?
[clone] I said we're fully
activated and ready to serve.
[Frank]
How are you doing that?
Whoa.
Hey, boss.
Looking good.
How the hell did I miss that?
Which one of you is
in charge of the walking?
Oh, we're a fully
symbiotic team.
-Right, big guy?
-Yeah.
Okay.
Well, um,
just get out there
and m*rder
all the criminals please.
It would be our pleasure.
[clone]
Have we had lunch yet?
You know,
we're not gonna have time.
[computer beeping]
Oh, my God, he did it.
-[Brick] I knew it.
-Ugh.
Brick, why don't you go
ahead and get into uniform?
We make the switch,
we'll have to move fast.
Um, do they make these for
guys who use creatine?
[glass breaking]
-That's what I'm talking about.
-[Fera screaming]
[tense music]
Well, boys, it was fun.
But I gotta get going.
-Aw!
-Don't go.
-What?
-Do you have to?
My twerk here is finished.
[tense music continues]
-[clone] Ow.
-Ah!
[tense music continues]
-[cracks]
-[Brick groans]
Weak b*tch.
[clone] Ow!
Brick!
[gasps]
[gasping]
Fera!
[neck cracking]
[Brick] Hey, meat.
[g*n powers up]
I'm gonna sh**t you
with this big g*n now.
[g*n humming]
[soft music]
[Brick] Are you okay?
Yeah.
Glad I got to dance
with my prom date.
God, you're so weird, Brick.
Yeah. Come on.
Thanks buddy.
-Oh, Brick.
-[groans]
Brick?
Are you okay buddy?
-Hey, Cipher.
-Yeah, yeah, Brick?
You're a good boss.
Porter was right.
Take care of that kid.
-He ain't as smart as me.
-[laughs]
-[groans]
-Nobody is, big guy.
[soft music]
Brick.
It's okay.
-[Cipher sobbing]
-[computer beeping]
[computer beeping]
Worthless.
Oh, Freddy.
You said
you wouldn't let me down.
You said you would do
whatever it takes, but look.
Just look.
We just needed one more.
Oh.
I'm gonna have to move
back in with my kids.
[sobbing]
[clone]
Suspect located, moving in.
[tense music]
-Yes.
-[g*nshots]
Yes!
Oh, my God.
You did it.
Oh, you sweet, sexy son
of a b*tch, you did it.
Oh!
I win.
One Tank Frank wins again.
[laughing]
I knew it the whole time.
[funky music]
That's a k*ll on Cipher.
Oh, my God.
We have confirmed
kills on Cipher,
Brick, Fera,
and Porter down to the wire.
I can't believe it.
Where's Kinder though?
It doesn't matter.
Cops win.
One Tank Frank
has done the impossible.
Seph, do you
believe in miracles?
I've never seen anything like
this in nine years of CT360.
What an incredible episode.
One for the history books.
Oh, man, I am shaking, Seph.
I am literally shaking.
Is-- is this what multiple
orgasms feel like?
-Sure.
-[booing]
Standby as we show
you all the highlights
from today's episode.
We'll even go down
to the k*lling floor
to get One Tank Frank's
take on today's events
all coming up right after
this commercial break.
[electronic music]
Hey, guys,
it's me, Robert Nefari.
As we all know, my grandfather
started this company
with one dream,
to install a soft serve
ice cream machine
in every American home.
That was shortly followed
by a second dream,
to solve a mysterious
wave of diabetes,
an epidemic that took
the country by storm.
We solved both of those
problems at NEFARICORP
'cause we're still dreamers
and we know you are, too.
Maybe it's that novel that
you always wanted to finish
or a trip to the undersea
ruins of Venice.
It just seems like work
always gets in the way.
That's where our dreams
meet yours.
Our replicant technology
enables millions of people
to leave the drudgery
of their boring lives
and workplaces behind
so they can do
what truly inspires them,
eat ice cream nonstop
and then take medication
directly after that.
Replicant technology
from NEFARICORP,
turning replicants
into repli-cans.
[bell dings]
[clones chatting]
-Hey, One Tank Frank.
-Way to go, Frank.
[clones chatting]
Hey, guys, get a load lifter
in here to move the big guy.
Don't be a hero.
Hey, hey, Sally gal
How's it going?
Oh, God, here comes
Mr. Big Bucks.
You got something for me?
I don't know why I even
make that stupid bet with
you every damn time.
Ah, don't be a sore loser.
I'm a big enough man to admit
that I was on the ropes
on this one.
Hey, boss,
what should we do
with the surviving clones?
-You new?
-Yeah.
I was transferred over
from Soft Serve last week.
Take 'em to reclamation.
Isn't that like a waste?
Can't you just,
I don't know, wipe
their minds?
[both laughing]
What, you want
a Westworld situation?
-Juice 'em.
-Juice 'em.
Okay.
All right, let's go, guys.
New guys.
Am I right?
Congratulations
on the Bambino.
Thanks.
-[soft music]
-[computer beeps]
[clones chatting]
[Frank] Hey, hey,
great work today, guys.
[Cipher]
What are we gonna do?
I'm not ready to be juiced.
[Kinder] Stay calm.
Wait for a distraction.
Seriously, I'm mean it.
Team effort.
Collaborative art.
-Frank Grimes?
-Yeah, hey, look, guys.
I'm sorry.
No autographs, all right.
No, Frank, you're under arrest
for the m*rder of Freddy Jones.
What? That's crazy.
I didn't m*rder anyone.
That's not what
the security footage says.
Security footage?
I delete-- I mean,
who would've access?
Murphy!
Frank, you have the right
to remain silent.
Anything you think
or say can and will
be used against you
in a televised court.
What are you doing?
Let go of me.
Frank, you have the right
to soft serve ice cream.
If you refuse this right,
a soft serve will be...
[Cipher] They seem
pretty distracted to me.
[Kinder]
Let's go, let's go.
[Frank]
But I'm One Tank Frank!
And that wraps up this historic
episode of CrimeTime360 .
What a battle it was.
That's right.
With a combined
k*ll total of 63,
the g*ng broke
a new record today,
one that I don't think
we'll see surpassed
in a long, long time.
And we saw our first super fan
get his taste of the action.
Let's hope we find him soon.
From all of us
here at the studio,
to all of you at home,
thanks for watching.
Don't forget
to like and subscribe
and tune in next week
for another episode of
- CrimeTime360 .
- CrimeTime360 .
[director] And we're clear.
[sighs]
[ice clinking]
[British accent] Ah!
That was a total c*ck up.
[British accent]
Can we get some bloody
backup cameras next time?
I nearly lost my lunch
with that body cam footage.
Hey, nice work though.
I thought you brought
real energy to the--
Dale, give me a break.
What?
I'm not a PA anymore.
Sod off me.
I can't pay you
a compliment?
No, no you can't.
[sighs]
[birds chirping]
[gentle music]
It is gonna get dark.
We should probably find
a new change of clothes
and maybe somewhere to rest.
I actually have a friend
that lives around here.
He'll--
he'll definitely put us up.
Though I don't think we've
actually met in person.
You okay? I...
feel like I'm-- I'm running
on pure adrenaline.
Yeah, that was a--
a lot back there.
If you don't wanna talk
about it,
we do not have
to talk about it.
-I'm thinking.
-Yeah?
You have a plan?
Starting to form one.
Does it end with k*lling
Robert Nefari?
It does.
I'm in.
[upbeat music]
[Kinder]
You know we're gonna
need a spaceship, right?
["Vanilla" by Brian Brown]
Hey, hey, hey,
Hey, Mr. Ice Cream Man
We've been waiting all day
Why you take so long
To come back this way
Had to re-up on the flavors
And appreciate the favor
This ain't meant
For everybody
What you need
I got it, playa
Bask in the fact
That I'm back
'Cause they was robbin'
Ya, woadie
Y'all held it down
For the kid
Tho got some love
I could show 'em
Heard the talk
What's the hold up
Got some weight
On your shoulders
I mean I could admit that
But who I'm telling's
Important
Can't have every -- body
In yo business these days
But you know me,
Still on the move
Lil' buddy ain't much changed
Hold up
Stepped in this
thing, shorty,
Choosin' looking curious
-- on bazooka, how my
Chew it something serious
Think they -- with my dawgs
And I, boy silly --
We been 'bout it 'bout it
Ain't my fault you ain't
Believe in this man
We've been waiting all day
Why you take so long
To come back this way
Had to re-up on the flavors
And appreciate the favor
This ain't meant
For everybody
What you need
I got it, player
Sake dat --
Watch yourself
See these shoes,
-- watch your step
Ain't the one to
Cause a scene but --
Just grabbed them
Off the shelf
Had to jump --
For the one time
Probably had
A show or something
Know who they came
To see every time
Anytime
I keeps it jumpin'
Only want Treesha smoke
Third cousin rolling
Family pack,
Candace Parker, that blunt
Rocky top in there
That's for Pat Summit
Wilma Rudolph run it
Earn my John Merritt
On the way to the bands
From Jefferson
They gonna feel this look
Think they -- with my dawgs
And I, boy silly --
We've been
'Bout it, 'bout it
Ain't my fault you
Ain't believe in this man
We've been waiting all day
Why you take so long
To come back this way
Had to re-up on the flavors
And appreciate the favor
This ain't meant
For everybody
What you need
I got it player
I got the unh
That's how you do that dere
Quit that talking
Like a Saint fan
Asking who dat dere
Might hit a two-step
With a 40
Looking just like
Your uncle
Birkenstocks
Double socks
No we don't want no trouble
One more time
That's how you do that dere
Quit that talking
Like a Saint fan
Asking who dat dere
Might hit the two-step
With a 40
Looking just like
Your uncle
Birkenstocks
Double socks
No we don't want no trouble
I'm on that --
Yeah
FunkyTenn ohana --
Out east the motherland
Northside, what up
Southside, what up
[music fades]
[clone giggling]
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Clone Cops (2024)
Moderators: Maskath3, sidolanters, GabrielAlejo2341
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