04x02 - Joy of Grief

[bunniefuu]

♪ If you're looking for me ♪

♪ You better check
under the sea ♪

♪ 'Cause that is
where you'll find me ♪

♪ Underneath the sealab ♪

♪ Underneath the water ♪

♪ Sealab ♪

♪ At the bottom of the sea ♪

Well, old buddy,
we hardly knew you.

What a senseless way
to die.

Hey, now, don't shame
his memory like that.

Marco died doing
what he loved.

Making love to a shark.

Oh, marco,
uhhh, oh, marco!

Honey, I'm home.

What the hell?

Huhhh! Brad!

Get your human p*nis
out of my wife's sharkgina!

No, brad, don't!
Marco, run!

[g*nsh*t]

Dude, marco
was [bleeped] up.

Well, we still
got a job to do.

So, let's get back
to work, people.

Woman: oh, if it were
only that easy.

I'm joy. I'll be
your grief counselor.

Oh, god, they sent us
a phish groupie.

I miss you.
Do you miss me, captain?

Let your heart speak

Through the magic
of grief puppetry.

Uh, put 'em up,
you dead mexican!

Gotcha!
Captain!

Is that how you would have
treated the real marco?

Duh! Uh! Uh! See that?
It's jesus kissin' you.

Lady, we don't need therapy,
we need push-ups.

'Cause when your pecs are tight,
grief can't get inside you.

Uh! See there?
That's too mushy.

Captain!

You got them old
phish groupie boobs.

Stop that!
Honk, honk, honk, honk.

Honk.

No, he'll just rot
in the ground,

And you can't go
to heaven, either.

[Chirping like a dolphin]

Because you don't
speak english.

Oh, my god,
somebody please help.

Oh, awesome!
Is it sloppy joes today?!

Looks like a boxing
nun puppet. Blech.

So, now, why are you
covered in blood?

Well, I tried to give
him mouth-to-mouth.

With a puppet jammed
down his throat?

I didn't want
to move it.

In case there was
neck damage.

Man, there's
totally neck damage.

Well, obviously,
this wasn't a suicide.

Then how do you
explain this?!

Wait, he spelled
his name wrong.

Well, he was
pretty stupid, quinn.

Obviously. Choked
to death on a puppet.

We should embrace
this opportunity to grieve.

With a grief dance!
Yes!

Shake your grieving booties.

Dance to the rhythm
of profound sadness.

Yes!

Something's
not right with her.

Oh, you say that
about everything.

I think joy
m*rder*d shanks.

Oh, you say that
about everything.

And I'm going
to prove it.

Don't forget to vote
for the grief dance
king and queen.

[Thunderclap]

Someone is going
to win a subaru.

Oh, a subaru!

Mornin', doc.

Mornin',
detective lou.

Guarding
the crime scene, huh?

Hey, have you...
Go get the doughnuts!

What are you doing?

Get the yummy
doughnuts, lou.

Get the yummy doughnuts.

I'm diabetic.

Oh.

Sparks, we missed you at
the group hug this morning.

Yeah, I was gonna go,

But then I remembered
I wasn't g*y.

Oh, there's nothing g*y
about grieving.

Whee!

Whoah-oh!

Ow! Oh! Oh!
My neck! Ow! Ow!

I snapped my spinal chor...

[Crashing]

[Metal rattling]

Oh, ha ha ha ha!

Yay.

Clues, clues,
looking for clues.

Man, I can't believe it.

Not a single clue
to prove joy k*lled shanks.

What a clever minx.

Meow.

Not you, minxie.
Meow.

Dammit, minxie!

Joy tapes all her sessions!

Meow.

That'll be my proof.

Thanks, minxie.

Meow.

No, you can never
go back to the wild.

Meow.

I'm here for your
hypnotherapy session, hesh.

No, no, no, no.

Hesh ain't fallin'
for that again.

Last time that happened,
hesh woke up with an a*s
full of quarters.

And how did that
make you feel?

Like a million
dollars!

Or 2.75.

'Cause that's about
how many quarters

There were when I was
done counting them

After I removed them
from my a*s!

But you can't heal
until you deal. Yes.

[Squawking like
a chicken]

What are you doing?

You hypnotized hesh
into a chicken, see?

[Squawking]

Chicken hesh!

I did not turn you
into a chicken.

[Chainsaw revving]

Why not?
Are you prejudiced?

This is why I wanted
to go to a motel.

I thought you people
didn't believe in motels?

No, we don't believe in
underwater research stations.

Or zippers.

Hey, do one of y'all
have a vcr?

I don't.

Oh, my god!
What happened?

We were in the bottom of
this secluded stairwell,

And sparks... Fell down it.

At an incredible
rate of speed, also.

Oh, my... What the hell
were you doing down here

In the first place?

Yeah, so, uh, uh,

That butter's not going
to churn itself.

Ha ha.

Call me.

Anyway...
Where's your vcr?

Stormy borrowed it.

For what?

Pull!

Just like
john friggin' henry!

Stormy, where's de...

Hang on, last one.
Pull!

You shot all the vcrs?!

All except for one.

Where is it?

I burned it.

[Chirping like a dolphin]

Ok, we burned it.
Whatever.

You idiot!

How am I supposed to prove
joy is murdering everybody?

I got it.

I could go to voodoo college
and learn how to make zombies

And bring shanks back to life.

W-w-well, undead, anyway.

And then he can tell us
who k*lled him.

No.

What about zombie
technical institute?

Debbie:
aaaaahhhhh!

[Gasps]
did you hear that?

No, and I'll tell you
what else I don't hear

Is the pitter-patter of
zombie feet bringing me stuff

Whenever I ring
my zombie bell.

Debbie:
aaaaaahhhhh!

This thing's broken.

That's debbie!
Come on!

You'll be
my first zombie.

[g*nsh*t]

Oh, no...

Oh, please,
get this thing off of me!

What happened,
you amish b*stard?

She poisoned me

And said that if I don't
churn debbie into butter,

She won't give me
the antidote. [Crying]

Who's she?
You mean joy?

And did she give you
the antidote?

Ok, I'll take
the second question first.

To which the answer is no.

And as to
the first question...

Aaughh...

[Bang]

Damn! I know
joy's behind this.

We've gotta stop her
before she kills again.

What you gotta do is have
some of this debbie butter.

Mmmmmm...

Mmmmm-hmmm!

Mmmm!

Mmmmm!

Shut up and come on.

Hold on.
This is really good
debbie butter.

Mmm! Mmmm.

Ohh... Ahhh...

Mmmmm...

Ohhh...

Mmmmm...

Stormy!
Ok, let's go!

Right after I finish
this debbie butter.

Mmmmm-hmm!

Mmmm!

Mmmm!

Mmm! Mmm! Ohhh...

Ahhhh...

Mmmmm.
Ahhh, ohh...

[Slurping]

I think I'm gonna grab
a quick shower.

Sticky.

Hey, joy, come on out.
Joy!

[Click]

Drum circle!

Oh, my god, stormy!

Well, that was telegraphed.

But this, not so much.

[Chainsaw running]

Hold it
right there, joy.

Doctor...

Come to join
your friends?

Join them yourself,
you string cheese

Incident-loving
hippie b*tch!

[Click, click]

Looking for these?

Huh. Well.

I don't know
where I put them,

But that was going
to be the shotgun shells.

Now prepare to die!

Yeahhhhhhhhhh!

Tonight on
"america's american news,"

Why are kittens
so darn cute?

We've dissected 13 of them

To find out
the purr-fect answer.

Plus, cancer.
You've got it.

Tonight after sealab.

Who's grieving now,
you pissant?

Excuse me, I'm looking...
Oh, my god!

Who are you?

Umm, I'm sharko.

The b*stard son of marco.

He, umm, put his human
p*nis in my mom.

You're not him, are you?

Are you prepared
to grieve?

Um, I'm cartilaginous.

Then I'll send
your boneless hide

To hell with
the rest of them!

Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.

Lady, stop.

What?

[Bang]

[Thud]

Make me into a chicken
so that I might fly high

Up in the sky!

Hi.

Are you my dad?